• Member Since 6th May, 2022
  • offline last seen 31 minutes ago

HeirofHades


Hey, I like to write

T

The purpose of Friendship? It eluded Dusk Shine during his time at Crystal Prep. The Friendship Games allowed him a chance due to Cinch convincing him to join but at a devil's bargain. Everything for CPA's reputation. Now what will Dusk Shine learn? Does he gain something? Or will he lost a part of himself to becoming something different? Who will help or corrupt him?

This is my personal touch on The Friendship Games with head canons, OCs and characterization for several characters. Some characters need it.

The tags of the story will be subjected to change as the story develops. Plus I'm putting some tags in advance just to be safe since this is my first time posting on this site.

Enjoy

Chapters (21)
Comments ( 55 )

Interesting work, looking forward to continuing

As for me, I absolutely love Sugarcoat. I even read absolutely every fanfiction with her that I found.
Your rendering of Shadowbolts is pretty good, I like the way you present them. In general, the fanfic is incredibly good - the only thing I can find fault with is the main character comes out, well, um ... Too perfect?) No, I understand, he should be like that, but it seems to me that you went a little too far with his coolness)

11244843
I'm glad that you enjoy the Shadowbolts. I had to read the wiki and descriptions of the characters plus head canons. I based the current Dusk Shine on a number of characters such as Sakamoto and Shiba Tatsuya. Yeah, these characters are kinda OP so I understand. Plus writing shy/meek characters aren't my forte. He won't be so perfect forever as bits and pieces are revealed throughout the story.

11246098
Oh, I know what you mean - I'm familiar with both of these characters)
Ok, I'll look forward to the continuation and development of the characters👍

Looking forward for continuation.

no rest for the wicked Dusk especially when the Wicked likes you

There is a lot of text that does not affect the story in any way. I read one chapter and my head hurts from an overdose of information. Half of the character's reactions can be removed or reduced. The description of the appearances of the characters can be reduced to a few sentences, and not to allocate a whole paragraph to them.
The idea itself is not clear at the moment, so I will continue reading. wait for new comments.
Wish you all the best.

this "what if" was quite entertaining

“Don’t worry about that Dusk Shine,” Cinch leaned forward, getting face to face with him. Their lips were a mere centimeters apart. He can feel her breath against his skin wanting to get away from her. “I’ll make sure you’re compensated quite handsomely ,” She straightened and readjusted his constricting tie. “I’ll personally make sure of it,” His face remained neutral as her lips curved further upward. This is the most Dusk Shine ever saw her smile before. He didn’t like it one bit.

Dusk: I need an adult. Cinch: I am an adult

Can't believe that dusk Shine got to kiss a lot of girls now all the girls really want to have him.

“I mean…” Dusk Shine softly defended himself before Spike barked at him. “Damn, Spike, you too,” His canine nodded, glaring at his master. “Okay, fine. I won’t use them… for now,” Dusk Shine concluded.

Well He's only human😆

“ Come to mama, ” Celestia purred, moistening her lips while reaching for the handle with hunger glimmering in her eyes. The birthday woman was about to claim her rightly deserved prize when a pair of arms constricted around her midsection. Hunger morphed into unbridled terror as Celestia twisted her body, observing who was behind her. Dusk Shine's straight-faced expression glared at her. His amethyst eyes blazed in the dark room like a nocturnal predator discovering its prey. “ Heeeeeyyyy Dusk Shine, ” She stammered with terror clawing her throat despite displaying a nervous smile. His grip tightened. ”Wait, wait, wait. Dusk Shine, if you let me go . There’s an entire bookshelf and a folder of video games with your name,” Celestia pleaded with haggard breaths. Her chest thundered as gravity worked against her, removing her feet from the floor. He’s raising her up?! And arching his back too?! Oh no! “ Come on, Dusk Shine, we can talk this out! ” She exclaimed, kicking her feet like a petulant child. When did he get so strong?! Wow, she needs to dust her ceiling fan. Her mortified eyes viewed the top of her fridge then everything overturned. She yelled before it went black.

I'm just going to say on what we are all thinking of this moment suplex City

“O. . .k then,” Celestia muttered, observing as the students prolonged their separation. This isn’t good . No fault of their own, but definitely Cinch’s, given that coldly smug grin on her face. What has she been teaching her students? Celestia predicted the notions of class, status, and elitism. Cinch always had a dominating sense of classism, despite her being of a barely lower social rank than the Celestial siblings. Was their school’s rivalry her method of getting a sense of superiority over them?

I have a question about this story I have been enjoying it a lot however I think I've noticed a little plot hole, if Celestia knew all of these things that cinch teaches these principles why would she let Dusk go to Crystal prep and it has been shown that she is close to dusk wouldn't she at least try to make sure that he would come to C.H.S

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Simple it was his choice. Dusk Shine and Celestia & Luna has a close relationship but that's the issue. They have a close relationship. People would gossip on why Dusk Shine with his potential go to Canterlot High. Furthermore, given his potential, Dusk Shine thought at the time, would've treated like a pariah like how students at Crystal Prep does now. He would've been the Top Student immediately while being the richest student at Canterlot High.

So Dusk Shine chose Crystal Prep as a way to challenge himself and keep things fair. He's among social elites and prodigies. Also if you read some of the side material like Wondercolts Forever: The Diary of Celestia and Luna. CHS had some controversy which greatly impacted their applicants. Furthermore, Twilight Sparkle his original counterpart, never bragged about her status preferring to be treated like a normal person so I incorporated that in Dusk Shine's personality. I picture Dusk Shine's family as a subtle and powerful Old money family. They're wealthy and they know it thus don't need to prove or display it for the world to see.

Plus Cinch always boast about the value of reputations. Her reputation is a strict yet competent professional who brings out the best of her students as expected as the Principal of Crystal Prep. Dusk Shine could do more while enrolled at Crystal Prep. Celestia respected his options and supports him. Plus if things becomes too problematic at Crystal Prep, Dusk Shine could always transfer to Canterlot High.

I hope this answers your questions and clears up any plot holes.

11656980
Oh okay thanks for clearing things up but I have another question why isn't dusk locked up somewhere and being studied after the friendship games because I read The bodyguard preview and he's still going to school however in this world you established that magic is considered very dangerous so wouldn't the events of the games with him ripping dimensions open, lead to some very nice men in very nice black suits asking questions and study him

11661444
You're welcome. I haven't gotten to that part of story so I don't want to spoil anything. Basically after Dusk Shine released the magic and the princess from the mirror world brought him down to more reasonable levels. He went on a rampage trying to find the flag and win the final flag. Dusk Shine/Night Blaze was fighting everyone and become extremally reckless. He even jumped from a two story window. As with canon, Dusk Shine and Sunset Shimmer fight but a few changes.

One of the changes is that Dusk Shine went to hospital due to his injuries and his exposure to magic. People in black suits including Professor Starswirl did come to visit him and asked him a few questions. However, Dusk Shine is from one of the most influential families in Equestria who's close to former royalty. They decided to play nicer with him and he's more a unique case giving him some more benefits

I'll still have Dusk Shine occasionally report to Professor Starswirl about any magical situations like the Dazzlings.

11662306
Okay I get it now and also sorry this is overuse reaching but I'm guessing Star swirl would probably order him to go see a therapist constantly to study his mental state because you know magic affecting mental state oh and also I understand dusk is a part of a very influential family however the way I see it magic is basically this worlds equivalent of nukes I don't think it should be easy for his family to get him out of trouble

11662321
You're correct. It's not just Professor Starswirl. It's his immediate family, Luna, Celestia and others. From the Body guard preview, Dusk Shine goes through an entire arc in this magically altered mental state as he went through with his revenge.

11662341
Oh okay keep up with the good work with the story it is awesome

Despite their esteemed stature and social influence, there are some groups, no matter who you are, who you shouldn't mess with. All the money, power, and reputation are irrelevant to those groups. Upper Crust and Jet Set's parents warned them about these groups and the fates of those foolish enough to cross them. Tragic accidents or sudden disappearances after a time and hardly anyone seen or heard from them again. One of those more insidious groups was the Obsidian Cartel and one of their subdivisions, the Shadow Ravens .

Okay I have to draw the line right here😅 this is going way too far I know his family is influential but this is getting ridiculous

11670089
I know, I know, it's one of the more Out there things. But I like the juxtaposition of Dusk Shine aka Mr. Prim and Proper , the Exemplary stickler to the rules having links to a shadowy group. I got the idea from 'It's About Time' where Twilight just sneaks into the Royal Archives and some of Sci-Twi's skills so I expanded upon that idea. Also the reactions from some of his classmates would be hilarious

Plus it's good worldbuilding and practice for other stories.

Don't worry, it won't be the main focus on the story. Only for a few scenes and various arcs.

11717701
Okay I get that, but bro it has to stop here 🤣 because if it keeps going on like this how can dusk ever be threatened and I know this is not my story but I just have to get this suggestion off my chest this magical incident let's make it have more consequences like for example to prevent dusk from going to a lab or prison or both his parents had to make deals that put them in a bad position and public opinion of the his family goes down greatly this is just my opinion though still a great story though

11717732
Don't worry, I have things planned so Dusk Shine won't be untouchable and get away scot-free. Like with the Dazzlings chapter, he was punished for his actions. Other things I would have to keep hidden until we reach that part of the story. Another thing is Dusk Shine isn't an active member of that group. Mainly it's because he's too young and he's in Canterlot. It's one of those he's associated with them kinda like a friend of a friend or a distant relative is a part of them but he's not calling the shots.

Hopefully that clears any concerns.

11718683
Okay that's good, thanks for cleaning things up.

He should walk on dark path.
Good lord, I hope someone help him from becoming like Dark Vader.

One student to rule to rule them all one by one students of Crystal prep fell to the power of Dusk Shine.

I wonder how long Sunset, Trixie, and Dusk knew each other.

“ No ,” Dusk Shine stated while Dark smirked at his defiance, finding it adorable. “That’s enough for tonight,” He replied as he cleaned up the bathroom while Dark watched him. It’s getting easier to control or influence him now. Dusk Shine’s hold on him loosened in the past year such as happened with Sunset Shimmer and the Dazzles. He grinned wondering what’ll happen after the games. Will he and Dusk Shine become one? Or will Dark Shine be the dominant personality? There’s little to no difference between how he thinks and what Dusk Shine thinks. But noooooooooooooo, Dusk Shine wants to be a little goody-two-shoes despite that he respected him. The two were the same person after all. Dusk Shine is intelligent therefore he is intelligent. Plus, years of reading comics and stories illustrate that all great villains need a code, morals, or ideology to abide by. Something that draws people to them and agrees with them. That’s how you know you have an amazing villain is when you agree with their mindset. Otherwise, you have a generic lack-luster character who’s only driven back their base desires especially if they have a shitty backstory. Oh boo hoo you had a shitty childhood. Oh take a fucking number and cry us an ocean. Everyone will have something shitty happen to them in their life. However, the vast majority rose from their struggles, becoming better instead of using it as their go-to excuse for everything. Seriously, how the fuck are you in your forties using the same excuse from when you were four?

I'm in complete agreement with Dusk here.

Okay, side note. I’m constantly looking at the wiki for these characters and I’m finding colors that I didn’t know existed. Seriously, this is the first time I’m hearing of gamboge. Like what the fuck is that? It’s kinda like mustard. Also, I’m looking at the coat colors of prominent characters. Rarity and Shining Armor aren’t white. They’re a light grey with a tinge of sapphire for Rarity. WHAT?!

You may want to put stuff like this in a AN segment so the story flows a bit better or leave it out entirely.

“You go there, Dusk Shine,” Cadance asked with cream on the edges of her mouth. He gave her a thumbs-up.

"You okay there, Dusk Shine?"

I like how you've written the Shadowbolts, shame they don't get the attention they deserve. As for who my favorite member is, it's Sugarcoat. I like blunt people, even if they can be insensitive at times.

Conjuneror

Conjuror.

Unleash

Unless

Sunny Flare has good taste in anime.

That's ice cold even for Cozy Glow.

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They've known each other since Kindergarten but closer to when they were a part of this world equivalent of Canterlot's school for gifted unicorns. So around 10 years

Turns out Trixie in the canon universe was possibly a classmate or schoolmate of Twilight Sparkle when she was in the Gifted school.

11670089
Agreed….money, political capital, and reputation don’t hold a candle to kind of power you have in personal, physical, military, or even magical and supernatural. Tv tropes Quote “When the Soviet Union fell, a small number of businessmen in Russia took control of recently privatised state-owned companies and basically carved up the nation's economy into personal fiefdoms. The President at the time, Boris Yeltsin, couldn't do much within the law to stop them, and they became the famous oligarchs. When Vladimir Putin, who didn't much care for concepts like "rule of law" or "democracy", came to power he kindly reminded these very rich men that they may have the cash, but he had the guns. Contrary to popular Western imagination, the oligarchs are no longer major political power players in Russia, but more like nobles under a medieval absolute monarchy; they get to keep their money and prestigious positions, but only at the pleasure of Tsar Vladimir. After the invasion of Ukraine, when the founder/owner of one of Russia's largest banks (which also bore his name) protested the war, Putin basically stole it by forcing him to sell his controlling interest at a 97% discount and, in an act of extreme pettiness, ordered the bank's board of directors to change its name to erase any connection to the founder.” We are going to see parallels of this in this story ladies and gentlemen, and I love it!

11732127
Hey did you skip or forget parts of the story after chapter “It Has Begun”. And what does it mean by preview? Was the destruction of CPA a vision?

Night Light held his wife’s hand as she squeezed in comfort. What has he unleashed?

You mean besides a monster of yours and your wife’s, daughter-in-law’s, son’s making and supporting of a toxic and corrosive environment to the vulnerable esteem of young adults, because the adults, friends and older siblings in this universe are useless, selectively oblivious, self centered, egotistical worthless, good for nothing, wretched waste of air who are incapable of helping their family members and friends when they need them most.

11732127
Also, they broke the first three rules of what is supposed to be “Friendly” Competition as Principal Celestia says it is…like hell it is. “Tempt not a desperate man, with nothing left to lose. Heat not a furnace for your enemies so hot, that you doth singe yourself. And There is thy gold, worst poison for men’s souls”.

“I know there’s more to life than just this ,” Dusk Shine told himself in a rare moment of optimism as he climbed the stairs. “ I just know it ” Things will get better. Right?

Oh Dusk… that is what life is nowadays. Endlessly kissing up to people that pretend to care about you.

In the real world, you are the one who matters most.

I like to think that dusk Shine came out of the plan StarKiller Style from Star Wars the Force Unleashed 2 when he did a force repulse.

I like your Story....i really do but keep stuff like the comment about what "YOU" do like "Yeah they are cousins in this, deal with it" , or the stuff about what you found in the wiki.
it ruins any kind of interest and/or possibility of diving deeper into the plot, by CONSTANTLY being ripped out of the Story by its writer.
Imagine being in the middle of a game and having your character picked up by the scruff of their neck, by a developer SI and given a monologue at random times.

11786843
Coming up with the early stages of this story was a mess. There's over 200 named characters in the canon series alone. I tried a little too hard to set up the tone for the story. I'm gradually getting better with establishing lore and consistent concepts. Therefore, I'm doing a ton of revisions as the story progresses and a small retcons here and there. I originally had no magic involved while being a darker story. I changed it because I wondered how some of the other plots were going to play out.

For example Forgotten Friendship and Rollercoaster of Friendship. How would Wall Flower wipe people's memory and Vignette trap people in her phone? Magic can be the only explanation for these cases.

Some of the original ideas will be used. Although cleaning up some of these older chapters might take priority which could alter some of the ideas but that's how writing goes sometimes

11786894
I agree with Probus out Mendez, the plot relevance of this fimfictions story has to put it lightly off the deep end and with continual irrelevant act and scenes to what happened previously. It doesn’t even make any sense by the last two chapters! I mean has he won the games like he did in Dsuk shine vs CPA and the recent one, what the HELL is happening? Was this written by Discord?

Dusk shine going to want to have one heck of a hangover when this is over

"He's a monster," A CPA student mumbled. They always believed that Dusk Shine was an unreachable precipice. No matter what they did . . . it was never good enough for their families. Stellar grades, active in clubs, school politics and more. It still wasn't enough. Dusk Shine was finely aged wine while they were cheap dollar store grape juice with a hint of vodka. Many wanted to bring him down so he could experience their pain. Now look at them. Huddled together like herded animals in a factory. Some were still bowing and kneeling to this. This monster. Of their creation.

DUMBC***S!!!! What are these people, Suicidal death seekers trying to find the perfect Woobie, Destroyer of worlds?! And where the Hell are Cadance and Shining armor right now!!?? They need to and calm him or die trying for their involvement too!

11816195

I would have punched or kicked that moron right in the groin for saying that bullcrap if I was there.

They're the ones that start this whole mess for screwing Dusk Shine's school life in the first place, f**king hypocrites!!!!! :twilightangry2:

Sadly, this is reminiscent of why disasters like this happened, but this is with corrupted magic, instead of you know. :twilightoops:

How violent will this story get? Will there be any fighting without using magic?

Why the heck are these regular, and very weak ass human high school teen students ( With no superpowers or magic on their own. ) fighting a literal pissed off Dusk Shine that has corrupted/dark magic!!!???


They should feel very, very, very lucky that he's going easy on them, quite heavily.


With telekinesis alone, he can just as easily force choke them and breaking their necks, or crush their insides like a grape!? 🍇

Or throw them over 50 ft in the air or something.


It's like fighting a dark side user, oh god forbade; a school shooter in real life!!?? :facehoof: :twilightoops:


And I hate to say this, but I'm not rooting either the CHS and most definitely NOT the CPS assholes that started all of this in the first place.

Most of them really deserve it, and what they're saying against Dusk Shine like "you're a monster" BS. Is making them massive hypocrites from the CPS Students and CMC/A-Miss as well, that it's pissing me off.


Dog Spike is definitely in the right to literally bark at the Shadow Five.

And even Dusk Shine/Night Blaze is also correct and talking down to the CMC for their own screw-ups as A-Miss. Which is technically worse!


P.S. even if by some crazy miracle that Night Blaze is somehow defeated.

I don't think that everything is "forgive and forget" like in the canon movie.

And there should be negative repercussions, but NOT at the Dust Shine, since it's not his fault in the first place.

The CPS Students, Shadow Five, and especially Cinch are in a world of HURT.

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It's the same reason why ants and other insects attack larger animals to protect their home. They can't stop him but they're not doing to sit on their hands and do nothing. I'm currently editing and revising the fight between Night Blaze and Sunset Shimmer. It's a fight-fight.

Don't worry, there's tons of negative repercussions for all of them. It's the next arc of the Friendship games.

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