follow a college guy who some how gets turn into a perfect copy of Twilight Sparkle, and tries to find a way home.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Nice
Actually it's natural human thing
To be fair, Zack is nearly constantly on a hair trigger. How it didn't end up this way sooner is beyond me.
11123196
Exactly what I was thinking
WAKE UP ZACK! THORAX IS STILL ALIVE! DON'T LET THE DARKNESS TAKE YOU!
11123196
Chrysalis kidnapped Zack, tortured him, brainwashed him into becoming a mindless obedient sex slave, tormented him in his recovery so that he didn't have the chance to even recover from his trauma and then murder his best friend. The amount of hatred that Zack had for Chrysalis must have been astonishing.
The levels of cruelty and brutality that humans are able to unleash onto those that we hate can sometimes be HORRIFYING beyond measure. No other creature in existence knows spite and malice the likes of which we do. Something that ponies do not and are not capable of understanding. Chrysalis is lucky that she got off as easy as she, that Zack's violent impatience for her death was, at that moment, stronger than his desire to inflict sustained suffering on her for an extended period of time.
Had I been in Zack's position, after experiencing what he had, holding that level of hatred for an individual that was now at my mercy. I would have teleported away with her to some distant part of equestria, where I would have taken my time with her. Human history is a rich tapestry of cruelty, from the Holocaust to the Rwandan Genocide to the Spanish Inquisition, there are countless sources of inspiration to draw from. I would have been creative with Chrysalis.
Twilight is close to the nail on the head. you and Celestia do not care take of threats allowing them to come back and hurt others more. Chrysalis should have been taken care of after the wedding. you didn't. result Zack, who already had enough shit thrown her way had more like beign mindcontroled and RAPED. You still didn't after rescuing her and now her friend is at death's door. Celestia's two flaws. poor people readign and not finishing an opponnet leavign it to others to take care of them
11123316
and in the rape and mindcontrol happened just after she learned she could never go home again because a deity was bored. the most justified Nightmare Transformation ever. ALL BECAUSE THE PRINCESSES LACK THE BALLS TO FINISH A THREAT. Hell we know that Celestia has such little contact with the Hippogriffs , a supposed ally, that they have been attacked and are in hiding in seapony form.
11123264
Nah, bury the light deep within.
11123372
[As Dr. Wolf] "My office. NOW."
11123564
Jeez what I do?
11123564
[As Kronk] no no their right
11123667
Why thank you
11123675
[Sounds of a Dragon growling]
11123743
Really
Honestly the characters being disturbed about Chrysalis' death is pretty in character and better than them just going "oh lmao good."
The thought of actually wanting anyone dead probably never crosses the minds of ponies, no matter how evil the person is.
Though you can't exactly blame Zack for doing what he did, especially if you knew what she did to him. Hoping they don't hold it against him forever.
Good chapter. I've got some fixes for you, but I feel that the list is a little too much for the comments section, want me to pm it to you?
11123826
It shouldn't be held against him at all, in my opinion.
11123786
Why do I even bother?
11123226
except the mane 6 don't realize this till the last season, this fic is taking place in season 6, possible closing in on 7.
11123826
of course the ponies are disturbed. NO pony in HISTROY at least from what we know, NEVER result to the kill option. its either redemption or imprisonment, or something else. death in the MLP: FiM universe by the hands of another person is practically unheard of.
11123330
exactly. i mean, if Twilight and the gang had a bit more of a handle or surveillance on Discord then they wouldn't keep falling for his random acts of betrayal. and the thing with Chrysalis is spot on. the only time they actually put a bad guy behind bars and not let them get a 2nd chance......was when Cozy Glow tried to take over. it took a CHILD for the ponies to get this concept nailed into their heads.
11123336
really? how is my characters nightmare transformation the most justified? i'm curious.
11124176
Considering ALL the crap Zack has gone through. Kidnapped and killed so can't go home because Discord was bored, dyring that gets tge worse actions of many ponies,just after that mindcontroled and raped, and now having one of her few friends practically killed because Equestria is horrible in tracking down threats. Its anazing she didn't go nightmare sooner. Everyone has a snap limit and she finally reached hers
11124164
Fair enough. Withdrawn.
11124045
True.
11147643
Well for Luna we have nightmare moon For Celestia we have daybreaker And I'm pretty sure there are nightmare mood variants of Both twilight and cadenza
11147646
oh there are. but since Zaq's name isn't just a verb, adjective, or a descriptive term or word, i didn't think i should have the ponies try and give Zack a corrupted nickname. and if i did, it would probably make them still treating Zack's hell of a life in Equestria even more of a joke cause they treat her like a typical bad guy. or something along those lines.
11147651
I hate what you did to the character But I absolutely love the story as in What the curator is going through
11147675
oh. i am sorry if you think Zack's life is garbage, but I wanted to make a story that shows that while Equestria looks like a cool place to live, its not 100% lollipops and rainbows and isn't totally innocent.
11147682
I just love how you made the character actually seem like a real person Most stories make them seem hollow is the best way I can describe it as And to be honest if I were to go through something like that And not know anything about the place I might eventually ended it
About every reader: How could it not end like this?
a
Today? It a hour or two not a day or two since she is in that condition...
Pretty sure Chrysalis got of easy. Zack suffered for a long time after all. Chrysalis suffered maybe a moment or two?
What happend to Rainbowdash?
Plotarmor set to 1/10 instead of 11/10.
Seriously... Chrysalis was going vs Celestia pumped on stolen emotional energy.
11147653
And they aren't familiar with terms like Event Horizon
11235092
Event Horizon
"a point of no return."
a simple meaning. if Zack was going to get some kind of evil name would sound like a name like Grogar, Sombra, Terik, something along those lines instead of Nightmare Moon, Fallen Light, or anything that sounds like basic hero or villain name.
I'm not sure if I'm explaining what I'm meaning probably.