Skyside Date
Damn, did I not want to be back skyside.
I spent my entire foalhood trying to get out of the damn place, and a hefty slice of my adulthood dragging my mom out after me, and now I was right back where I started. The sun was setting over the horizon, and at this altitude, the shadows it cast were weird and strange. The light came from below, peeking over the edges of the structural clouds, like standing on the edge of a lamp.
The majority of Cloudsdale was beautiful. The side that Rarity had seen was beautiful. The side that Rainbow was born in was beautiful. Gorgeous. Probably the prettiest place in Equestria.
Skyside was like a wasteland of right-angle cloudcrete. Pipes jutted from the smoothened streets and railingless planks of cloud were constructed in a mockery of earth-Equestrian streets so the cargo and factory parts could be rolled from cloud to cloud. It wasn’t beautiful. It struggled to be considered bearable. At least the signs, powered by local Cloudsdale lightning, cast colourful, if eerie, lights across the rapidly darkening streets. They staved off the absolute darkness at night and at least broke up the endless vista of white, grey, and sky blue.
My old house wasn’t far from here, though ‘house’ was a strong word for a pathetic place. ‘Home’ was also generous in the extreme. I didn’t want to see it again; it had been nothing but inhospitable and dreary. A place I swore I’d get out of.
Rarity complained about the cold in Yakyakistan. If she knew how freezing it was skyside she’d never even open her mouth about it again. Inside me burned a fire that kept me from feeling the cold, but the frigid atmosphere sapped my energy away regardless. I felt angry just to get my blood pumping.
Shops were open late around these parts, since all the pegasi up here worked late hours at the factory. Weather didn’t sleep, so neither did Cloudsdale. Many bars and shops were all night places. There was a camaraderie, but it was frosty and bitter, like everything was up here. Ponies enjoyed each others company because they never really knew when they might be relocated to a different part of the sky, or even turn on each other as bits got scarce. Whilst ponies could be friends, they were, but it was an uneasy friendship at best. It had been that way for centuries; clearly even Twilight’s reforms hadn’t reached the highest altitudes yet.
The sooner I got what I needed the sooner I’d be able to leave, and this thought drove me forwards like an engine. At least this was my element, and unpleasant though it was, it was an unpleasantness I was accustomed to. A dark, hostile place for a pony trying to strangle her demons and forget her past.
I glided over the streets, scanning the familiar streets and corners. Looking for anypony I recognised. A point of contact. I hoped it wouldn’t be Nimble; I never did really say goodbye properly, and it was an awkwardness I wasn’t looking forward to.
I felt a shiver run down my back, and it wasn’t due to the cold. Something was tailing me. You learned these instincts when you were in my horseshoes. I saw the shadow fall across the street and heard the flapping of wings maintaining a constant distance away from me, too quiet to be a casual passer-by but too loud to escape my notice. A mugger, somepony trying to sell me something, or just a creep. I didn’t know, and I barely cared.
I shook my head. I was reverting; the side of me that I had been hiding away after meeting Rainbow Dash and falling in love with Rarity emerging from deep inside. It was just instincts. Check your back. Show no mercy. Do what needs to be done. It’s not cruelty, it’s pragmatism. It’s not fair, it’s fair enough.
I landed. I just needed to survive whilst I was up here. Keep my head, keep my cool, and then when I got back home I could continue being the new, optimistic, heroic Spitfire I wanted to be so desperately.
In the meantime…
I whirled around and came face to face with a shadowy figure lurking in the absence of sunlight. My eyes must have flashed with violence, because the figure shrank away, flinching. My wings flared and my hackles raised. Every part of my body screamed at my pursuivant to get away.
She yelped.
“Whoa whoa whoa! It’s just me, captain.”
I widened my eyes. The streetlights, powered by the gargantuan power-plants hidden deep within the clouds, flickered to life and cast an unhealthy green glow on the streets. The glow fell upon a rainbow mane and sky blue coat. She didn’t look scared; just alarmed and cautious. Her wings were folded, indicating submission.
“Rainbow?” I asked, and cast a glance around me, my heart still racing. “What the hay are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Griffonstone where I told you to be?”
Rainbow Dash tucked her wings behind her and tightened her jacket; she looked colder than I felt. Probably her groundsider blood unused to these absurd conditions. “AJ’s visiting her family in Ponyville so I came with.”
“Okay,” I said, detensing. “That explains why you’re in Equestria. Why are you skyside? Why are you here?”
“Favour for Rarity.” Rainbow tilted her head and flicked her tail, like her mind was racing to come up with an excuse. Eventually she seemed to settle on a strategy, and with exaggerated realisation, gasped, “No way. You’re here for the same reason?”
“Might be,” I said, looking away. I wondered how much Rainbow knew. Clearly she was looking for me, not anything else. How much Rarity had told her? And would Rainbow tell Rarity that I knew as well? If she did, how would Rarity take it?
Rainbow smirked. “Okay, you definitely are. Let me guess, you squeezed the mailmare for info?”
“I asked politely.” I straightened. “I did not squeeze anypony.” I glanced around. “Yet. The night is young.”
“It’s okay, I figured you’d have found out what happened to the package. You always know more than you let on,” Rainbow quipped. She gave me a friendly pat on the side. “So. Team-up? You look stressed out of your mind.”
I rolled my eyes, not wanting to involve anypony else in a personal matter. Then again, I trusted Rainbow Dash. Almost as much as I trusted Rarity, even. I trusted her more than I did myself in many ways. She was, after all, the reason I had tried to change, and the reason Rarity was still alive. As far as I was concerned, I owed Rainbow more than my life. Not that I would ever tell her that.
“Sure.” I sighed. “This is a cold place to talk. Let’s catch up at the Guts.”
Rainbow’s face lit up. “Nice. You’ve no idea how long I’ve been wanting to have a good old-fashioned Cloudsdale Lightningtail.”
The Guts was a dingy bar in dire need of some tender love and care, but it was warm. The outside of it looked like the cloudcrete equivalent of a cardboard box with a door and a neon sign; pragmatic, cheap, and just barely functional.
The inside was not much nicer. Heaters powered by electricity were hung above every table to stave off the below-zero temperatures, and the warmth of other ponies made the whole place cosy, if humid and somewhat smelly. This was especially important in a bar, since if it got too cold the drinks would become a bit more solid than ponies liked.
I remembered pretending to be older than I was in order to come in and sneak some drinks with the older factory racers. The bartender knew I was too young, of course, but I was also a factory racer. They liked me.
I noted a few wayward glances in my direction. Even if they didn’t remember me from the old days, they definitely recognised Spitfire, the captain of the ‘Bolts, and her poster-girl Rainbow Dash. A lot of ponies knew that I was a skysider by birth, but a surprisingly small number of them knew much about it, outside of my old circle of friends of course. It was a past I hadn’t buried per se, but by never drawing attention to it it had faded from public recollection. Now I was just Spitfire.
“So,” I addressed Rainbow as the waitress brought us our drinks. “Fogponies got greedy and stole a bunch of mail on its way north. Probably to grab any bits being sent to the Crystal Empire. Normally this isn’t something I’m really supposed to deal with but they also stole a package Rarity was expecting, and… Rainbow?”
Rainbow Dash was coddling her drink, a tall glass of crystal blue liquid. Every second or so a crackle of electric yellow flickered between the bubbles. She looked like she was being reunited with a long-lost family member.
“Sorry, but I haven’t had one of these in ages. They don’t have ‘em in Griffonstone and when I visit Ponyville it’s just cider, cider, cider. Not that that’s bad but… c’mon, this is the best Cloudsdale drink.”
I sighed, and felt a small smile crawl over my face, her innocence infecting me just by looking at it. This was why I liked Rainbow Dash. She made me feel less of a terrible person. I didn’t even really know how she did it; she just did. Before she arrived I had been so tense, but not five minutes after she showed up and I felt like a new mare.
“Rainbow? You listening?”
“Huh?” Rainbow took a sip, and immediately scrunched her face up like she had just swallowed a lemon. “Ooooh it’s been ages since I’ve felt that! The way it crackles, ha ha ha…”
“I said, foggies stole—”
“I heard, I heard.” She took another sip. “You know what the package was?”
“Nope,” I lied. “Only that it’s important to Rarity and she was pretty broken up about it.”
“Okay,” Rainbow said, her ears flicking forwards. She was alert. “So you came Skyside to track down the fogponies?”
“Something like that. I am from these parts, after all. Figured if anypony could track it down, it’d be me.”
“Huh.”
“And you’re here…?”
“Because... Rarity said fogponies had stolen some package and asked if I could look for it. Skyside. Where I… guess they live?”
I rolled my eyes. “No she didn’t.” I pointed at her with my hoof. “Rarity told you something but it wasn’t that. I can tell.”
Rainbow groaned. “Fine! She said that you’d do something dumb like go and look for it and if you did I was supposed to help you, and also not tell you that she said that.” She pouted. “But you didn’t let me keep that secret, did you?”
“No I did not.” I leaned back, stroking my chin. “Fine, well… look, I’m not dumb. I wasn’t going to turn the whole place upside down looking for some package, no matter how valuable. I just wanted to take a look and see what I could find, because it seemed important.”
“Right, sure. Because you never turn things upside down.”
I snorted. “That a quip, Crash?”
“Yup. Ever since I joined the ‘Bolts you’ve done nothing but plan and plot to change things.” Rainbow took a long sip of her drink. “I mean, it’s a good cause and everything, but it’s not exactly what I signed up for. I thought I was going to fly around and do tricks. Let me tell you, practicing rescue drills and balancing operations and contests is a lot of effort. In fact, moving to Griffonstone has been relaxing by comparison.”
“I’m sorry about that. But this is something that I think needed to happen.” I leaned in. “For centuries the old families have been twisting the Wonderbolts from a force that defended Equestria and the princesses into some propaganda tool. I couldn’t let that keep happening after… Well.”
“After Rarity. I know.”
I nodded. “No more failed rescues.”
Rainbow shrugged. “It’s cool. I’m into saving ponies too. I just hope that you’re still ready for the Equestria Games next year.” She grinned. “Because I am. The griffons taught me a few tricks I’m looking forward to showing off!”
I nodded. “More ready than ever.”
“Okay then. So. You got any contacts to find this package?”
I nodded. “Two. One of which I actually don’t mind talking to. Name’s Gear Gritter. He knows… or at least, knew, everypony around here. He’ll know where to find the foggers.”
“Sweet. We’ll start with him. Where does he live?”
“I have no idea.”
“Great.”
It didn’t take too long to find a lead on Gritter. He knew everypony, which meant that everypony knew him. Normally not a lot of ponies here would talk to an honorary groundsider like the captain of the ‘Bolts, but I had the advantage of being loaded, so I could easily throw a few bits around to get what I wanted. The bartender didn’t make it his business to give his customers locations out to suspicious mares like me, but one of the waiters wasn’t so scrupulous.
“You know, for a mare who likes to act all professional, you know your way around here real good,” Rainbow commented. “I’ve only been skyside once or twice. I mean, my parents lived here when I was a baby foal, but they got a place groundside pretty quick.”
I flicked my tail. I already knew all that, but Rainbow didn’t need to know that I knew.
“It’s cold up here. I’m used to high altitudes, but this is something else,” Rainbow went in, ignoring my silence.
Night had fallen completely, and Rainbow looked like she was hemorrhaging heat. I could only really imagine how bad it’d be for Rarity.
Honestly, I just wanted to be back with her at this point. Being back here made me uncomfortable. Rainbow Dash helped, but it wasn’t really the same.
“So, how’s Stormy Flare?”
I paused. “My mom’s fine.” We trotted around a corner, following our directions to the letter. “I’ve moved her to a hospital in the Crystal Empire.”
“So… still not great then?”
“You’re not good at small talk, are you?” I commented, scanning the street for Gritter. “No wonder you struggled with the orange girl for so long.”
“She’s more of a sort of autumnal gold.” Rainbow held her hooves up. “Her words, not mine. I would have called it brown.”
“Uh-huh.” I sighed. “Mom’s getting the best treatment she can get, but honestly, the best treatment to sky-sickness is just… being away from the sky.” I gestured up at the empty void above me. “That big hole in space does stuff to your mind.”
“I think the sky’s pretty cool.”
“You would think that. They say the simple ones are immune to sky-sickness.”
“Yeah.” Rainbow trotted up beside me. “The mean ones too.”
“No wonder we both avoided it, then,” I retorted, and Rainbow gave me a playful nudge.
We trotted in silence for a while longer. It didn’t last long.
“So, I gotta ask, what’s the horn like?” Rainbow asked.
“Painful.”
“Huh.”
“I wouldn’t recommend it. The ridges on them are kind of like cheese-graters and most of the spells Rarity knows involve needles.”
Rainbow bobbed her head from side to side, as if she were re-evaluating her worldview, a modest amount of disappointment evident in her expression. Suddenly her ears flicked forwards and her wings flared. Her eyes flicked to the side, then back to me. “That your guy?” she asked, and gestured to the side, towards the darkness.
I glanced over towards where she pointed; a fire-barrel, surrounded by pegasi dressed in padded clothing. Flanked by two larger pegasi was Gritter; a pony about my age, with stubble and an eyepatch.
“How’d you recognise him?”
“Dunno. He just looked like a ‘Gritter’.”
I shrugged and trotted towards the grimy stallion.
“Hey,” I grunted.
Gritter looked up at me, and squinted.
“Baroness?” he asked, his face lighting up with glee. “What in the name of the big blue sky are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be making cloudfulls of bits and never come back?”
Rainbow glanced my way at the mention of the name ‘Baroness’. I breathed in. “Yeah, well, that was the idea. But I’m looking for something.”
Gritter leaned to the side, his one eye glinting mischievously. Gritter was always a playful one. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” I tilted to the side. “Fogponies took something from some mailmare heading to the Crystal Empire. I know that all the stuff they steal comes back up here…”
Gritter nodded. “Yup. That rings a bell.”
“I’m not looking to snitch on anypony, I just want a package they took. I’ll even pay for it.”
“Uh huh.” Gritter looked over at Rainbow Dash, ignoring me for a second. A sly smile played across his lips, accompanying a mischievous flutter of his wings. “Didn’t expect to see the golden girl up here. Thought she’d be too busy being an idol. Here to back up your captain?”
Rainbow shrugged. “Pretty much. So?”
“Nothing. Just wondered how much you know about your captain is all.” Gritter leaned in towards Rainbow. “She used to be a factory racer. You knew that?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh?”
I raised my eyebrow. “Oh?”
Rainbow glanced my way. “Rarity told me?”
“No she didn’t. She wouldn’t.”
“Fine! What do you want me to say? I paid attention to factory racers when I was a filly. I never went to see them because, y’know, crime, but I knew all the popular ones, before… well, I found out how many didn’t last long. Then I lost interest.” She frowned. “Besides, c’mon, the Fire Baroness? You couldn’t have picked a less obvious alter ego?”
I sighed. “Wh-whatever. Okay, Gritter. Have your fun with Rainbow. Tell her all my juicy little secrets, why don’t you?”
Gritter grunted, deflating. “No. It looks like she already knows ‘em.” He sighed, and turned around. “She’s no fun at all.”
Rainbow’s wings flared. “I’m plenty fun!”
Gritter rummaged around in a sack that was propped up against a wall behind him. Eventually he pulled out a neatly wrapped box. “This yours?” he asked, and threw me the parcel.
It was addressed to Rarity. I looked back at Gritter, confused. “You expected me to show up?”
“I read the papers. The magazines. Captain Spitfire, in a relationship with the up-and-coming fashionista and national hero, Rarity. Such a power couple!” He gestured at the parcel. “The fogponies came through with that. I decided to hold onto it. You may not believe me, but you’re still remembered pretty fondly around these parts, Baroness. By, uh, me at least. And the others. You know. The old crew.”
I sighed. “Well… thanks.” I looked away. “Um. How’s Nimble?”
“Okay. She was real upset you left her but c’mon. You were both young. She got over it. She’s a long-distance flyer now with a foal, believe it or not. And here I thought she wouldn’t go within ten miles of a stallion.” He smiled. “The lad’s name is Diver. You’d like him. Spends most of his time out over the ocean scooping up the water for cloud production, and their little filly is a tough sack of nails. Kinda like you, if I’m honest.”
“And Lift?”
Gritter’s expression darkened. “Uh… not great. About a year after you left he got beat by the turbines.”
I winced. “He alive?”
“Barely. Missing some parts. Moved to Filly’. He’s an author now.”
I grimaced. I liked Lift. “I told him that we couldn’t keep being the lucky ones forever. We both knew that after the incidents.”
Rainbow tilted her head. “You ever seen any accidents?”
“No. I never saw any accidents,” I said. I wanted Rainbow to believe me, in case she reported back to Rarity. I didn’t like the idea of Rarity knowing too much about what I used to be.
Gritter cackled. “She didn’t see ‘em because she was always in front. She always used to say that line.” He leaned in. “Bet she heard them, though.”
I blocked the memories before they could even enter my head. I was good at that. I had a history of not being able to save ponies; whether it was through apathy, or incompetence. “Yeah.”
“All over now. Baroness is a ‘Boltie now.” Gritter sighed. “Just as well. The racers never last long and it’d be a shame for you to go before you even reached eighteen solstices.”
I breathed in, and looked down at the parcel.
“You sure you don’t know what’s in there?” Rainbow asked, her eyes narrowing.
I glanced her way, and then turned back to Gritter. “I… should go. I’ve got another life now.”
“Sure you do.” Gritter smiled. “Take care of your ma’ now, right?”
“Will do.”
Me and Rainbow flew through the empty skies. I can’t stress how different it is, flying this high, compared to flying at lower altitudes. There was just less to ground yourself with. Up and down became arbitrary concepts. It was easy to get disoriented.
“You know Rarity was way more worried about you than she was about that parcel?”
I nodded. “Yup.”
“Just checking.”
I tucked it under my foreleg. Rarity had been right to worry. This trip was more than I felt comfortable with. Rainbow made it bearable, at least. I decided to make some conversation, keep my mind off things.
“You’ll be flying down to Ponyville after this, then?” I asked.
“Yeah. Cloudsdale isn’t that far from Ponyville. I’ll be there before dawn.”
“You could stay at my place if you want.”
“Nah. The Acres is fine. Besides, I like flying at night.” Rainbow glanced downward. “I’m used to waking up late anyway.”
“How’s Griffonstone?”
“Great. I actually love it there. Teaching has been great. It’s like moving to Ponyville all over again.” Rainbow beamed. “It’s not as great as being with Twilight, Pinkie, Rarity and the others, but it’s still awesome.”
“Any word from your other friends?”
“Fluttershy is doing great. Cataloguing animals in other dimensions with Discord. Dunno where Pinkie is. AJ’s been sending letters but we’ve not been able to decipher them.”
“Uh-huh.”
We landed by a large parting in the clouds, which served as a funnel through which flyers could travel up and down through the city of Cloudsdale. Peering down it looked like a vast well full of lights; the further down you looked, the more active things became. The hum of civilization emanated from it.
“Thanks for being here,” I said. “I was… really on edge before you got here. This place does stuff to you. Or at least, to me.”
“I get it. There’s stuff I don’t like going back to from the past too.” Rainbow smiled. “You know I used to be bullied, right?”
I did, but I feigned ignorance. “Really?”
“Yeah. It sucked.”
“I was never bullied. I guess… I was kinda the bully, to be honest. They called me a genius and treated me different and… a lot of the time I’d let it get to my head.”
We stood in silence for a moment. I was tired. I could tell Rainbow was too, although in a different way than me. She looked physically tired after flying from Griffonstone, presumably. I was mentally tired.
“Well, that’s all over now. A lot has happened to us since we were fillies.”
As Rainbow peered down the chute, towards her home, I looked up at the sky, pondering.
I was different. I had gotten away from this place and even started to change. I had a family now; not a family I had to take care of just to ensure they survived and didn’t succumb to the madness exposure to the open empty sky could cause, but one I had chosen and felt comfortable with.
She even put up with my secrets and plots! Not only did she put up with them, she knew how to work with them. Everything she had told Rainbow was done with the understanding that I wouldn’t have just asked her for help. That was how well Rarity knew me at this point, and how much she knew how Rainbow could help me.
She was better than me in virtually every way. I had needed to be kickstarted into trying to be a better mare; Rarity and Rainbow just did it by nature.
I stared at the sky, lost in thought. There was something about the sky that made me feel insignificant; like it didn’t matter who I was or what I did, I would always just be swallowed up by its big empty void. Even now, it made me anxious; compared to the vastness of nothing what could even Rarity do? I felt a tingling in my hooves, and my primaries twitched.
Rainbow glanced my way, her eyebrow raised. “Captain?”
“What?”
“You really look tired, Captain,” Rainbow commented, a maturity I hadn’t seen before on full display. “You want me to accompany you home?”
Coming back skyside was a mistake. I had left for a reason. I considered rebuffing Rainbow, but I thought better of it. I was tired. I didn’t feel right. I felt drained. I just wanted to sleep.
“Yeah, please. I could use a wingpony.”
It was the next day, at the end of the week, that I flew back home towards Yakyakistan. I now had the benefit of a good night’s sleep, and I felt much stronger and more confident. The uncomfortable mixture of stress and fatigue had loosened its hold over me.
I still had the parcel I had retrieved for Rarity, safe in a satchel I had slung over my back. It felt heavy, despite not weighing much of anything. I hadn’t gone through reliving my past for nothing.
The trip north was gruelling, but one I was easily able to make. I flew close to the ground, the landscape whipping past me like a blur. I easily kept track of the obstacles and navigated them expertly. Compared to factory racing, this was a piece of cake. In fact, compared to factory racing, most things were a piece of cake. The most dangerous environment to fly in had always been the one ponies themselves had made.
At these speeds it took roughly five hours to fly from Cloudsdale to Yakyakistan. A normal pegasus wouldn’t be able to do this in a day.
As I flew over the town Rarity lived in, I saw the little lights indicating where the landing strip she had constructed on the roof was. I swooped down, tilting my wings to create more drag and slow down. Gradually, I lost altitude.
Landing was easy. I knew my hoofsteps would wake her up. They always did. I opened the door and trotted inside the bedroom. Its warmth engulfed me, and I breathed a sigh of relief, letting go of a breath I hadn’t realised I was holding.
Rarity sat up as I walked towards her. I smiled. “Hey.”
Rarity sighed at me. Her horn flickered and the lights came on. Her expression was one of resigned exasperation.
“I got a message from Rainbow. I expect you brought me the parcel?”
“Yeah.”
“Even after I told you it wasn’t worth worrying about?”
“Yeah.”
Rarity sighed. “Well I don’t know what I expected.” She tilted her head, and she bit her lip. She was nervous. “Um, Rainbow said you didn’t know what was in it…”
“That’s what she said.”
“But you do know. You always know more than you say you do.”
“Yup.” I sat down on the bed and handed her the parcel. It was a little worse for wear than it had been when it was sent, no doubt.
“I… I just…” Rarity breathed out, struggling for words. “I just wanted to have it available… I didn’t want you to, ah, find out in these circumstances…”
I slid the parcel towards her. “I know.”
“Oh, you must feel so smug,” Rarity grumbled, the fur around her neck fluffing up as she retracted her head down, unamused.
“No.” It was true. I didn’t feel smug or self-satisfied. I just felt like I had given something precious to Rarity back to her, no matter what it was. “I don’t need an engagement band to love you, and I don’t want it until you’re comfortable giving it.”
I leaned towards Rarity and gave her a kiss on her cheek. Even in the relative darkness, I could see her go red. That was one of the benefits of dating a pony as white as her; you could always see her blush.
“I…”
I wrapped my hoof around her. After being skyside, I just wanted to pull her closer to me. To be near her. She made me feel free even as I was held in place.
The sensation I had felt staring at the sky the day before was banished. For how long, I didn’t know… but whilst I was with her, I knew I couldn’t possibly feel safer. The bases of my wings relaxed and they dipped low against my body.
Rarity pulled me towards her, and I smothered myself into her coat. “I…” She cleared her throat, deflecting. “I expect Rainbow performed admirably?”
I chuckled. “She was great. I was stupid to try and go alone.”
“Yes, well, that’s why I’m here. I can read you like a book.” Rarity breathed out, the air from her lungs making the back of my neck damp. “Anyway. Get out of that silly uniform and then come to bed. You look tired.”
“I am tired.”
“Hurry up then.”
I pulled away and moved towards the bathroom. “Will do, ma’am.”
Rarity levitated the parcel containing her engagement band beneath the bed. I saw her smile quietly for herself before I began to brush my teeth.
This was where I belonged now.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- HapHazred · 6k words · 98 9 · 1.7k views
- mushroompone · 2.3k words · 81 3 · 834 views
- kairipancakes · 1.9k words · 35 0 · 1.3k views
- HapHazred · 1000 words · 43 2 · 453 views
- Silver Mint · 1.4k words · 72 3 · 1.5k views
- Admiral Biscuit · 5.6k words · 136 7 · 1.5k views
- CROSSOVER KING · 63k words · 69 6 · 2.9k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.18 seconds
Total duration
1,026 users online
1,939,400 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
nice work
Yes, i liked this.
Not a fan of the marshmallow at all, but the story was still very good.
Also on a technical level. At a first glance i did not find any spelling or
grammattical mistakes at all.
10979667 That's good! I only looked over it like a half dozen times! O _ O
I like that you have made a fairly deep character out of a secondary character whose function on the show changed from episode to episode.
10979773 One of the things that I think makes Spitfire stand out compared to every single other Wonderbolts (Dash excluded) is precisely those somewhat contradictory appearances. Is she this cool, slick young Wonderbolt (Best Night Ever) this stern, well-intentioned but somewhat negligent commander (Wonderbolts Academy) or this sly, underhanded athlete (Rainbow Falls).
I really like the vibe that she's a little bit of all of them; one of the cooler parts of Rainbow's arc in MLP was watching the Wonderbolts themselves change from being heros to be worshipped to heavily flawed idols to a group that Rainbow actively contributed to, and I like the idea that their leader goes through those changes as well. Spitfire's just sort of trying to figure out what kind of person to be, but unlike Rainbow, has to sort of look to others for the inspiration to be better than she is.
That's my reading, at least.
10979674
Good on you.
A Story can be as good as it wants, if there are many spelling and grammatical errors in it, they will spoil the fun of reading it anyway . .
10980637 For sure. It feels almost like tripping, going over an obvious spelling or grammar issue, if that makes sense.
10980733
It does to me, since it literally makes you stop in your tracks because your brain goes *crack* wait. no. why. what. sometimes when?
really good story.
You said to comment when your story is found and liked. I found it and liked it
I absolutley adore this story. You built their relationship up so well and honestly, I can't go back. I ADORE this. That scene at the very end with the engagment band made me sqeal. I really hope someday you may make a wedding chapter.
Enjoyable. :)