• Published 31st Oct 2019
  • 1,730 Views, 27 Comments

The Twining - Grimm

At Celestia's request, Twilight volunteers herself and Shining Armor to watch over the Overlook Hotel through the winter. Unfortunately for them, it has a reputation for making ponies go a little crazy...

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Comments ( 23 )

definitely the weirdest incest story i've read, but not bad at all.

Yes. All of the yes.


You just reminded me The Simpsons used to be good. :fluttershysad:

I haven't even started this yet and I know it's gonna be a good night.

I did not know I needed this.

Fantastic, the references to the original were spot on. The way your descriptions paint a picture were very reminiscent of King. Double-like :twilightsmile:

Weird as hell but a nice twist.

Comment posted by Rockie010 deleted Nov 2nd, 2019

That twist ending though, especially that portrait.

Wow, who would have thought a classic horror would provide the basis for such a good Sparklecest fic like this? Nicely done :)

This is actually really good. Mind if I give it a full review?

Be my guest! No need to ask.

Here it is.

Out of all the contest fics, this is the only one I really think hit all the specific points. It had incest, it had horror, it had sex. More than that, it had some solid storytelling.

The single best part of the story is that it used good source material and then built off of it. The Shining is a horror classic, not everyone's taste for reasons that aren't hard to figure out, but at this point, some part of it are so copied, discussed, and parodied to the point where pretty much everyone knows at least the basic plot, some imagery, and key scenes. Hotel, snowed in, going crazy, typewriter, two girls, HERE'S JOHNNY!. What you did with the material was treat it as a guideline and jumping off point. "Come play with us" replaced the girls with Shining's mom and sister. I did laugh out loud at the incest ghost plot point. I was sorely disappointed you didn't have a moment where Twilight says "HEEEREEEE'S TWILEY!"

The horror was actually fairly effective. While never outright oppressive or overly frightening, you conveyed the sense of paranoia, distrust, and confusion that the characters were going through, as well as just how alarming it can be to be in a huge place all by yourself. Your mind will invent things to fill the space, and you'll start to swear there are things moving around just past your perception. Add to that giving your protagonists a real sense that things were not right, and you got just enough horror to balance out the drama and incest. By the time Shining made a dumb decision, like forget Twilight can teleport and just break doors, it seemed like something anyone would do in that situation.

Complements on using the drama tag and actually utilizing it. This read like a drama that did not depend on ultimately needing to have a sex scene to sell the story. This was some genuine relationship work, rather than some contrived WhAT aRe YoU dOiNg StEpBrO 'and then they banged'. It made sense for them to have sex at the end. A truly great thing you did to not make the ending so obvious was earn that M+Sex designation early on, so the readers couldn't prophetically know how it was going to end. And the way you handled everything up to the sex scene actually let suspense build reasonably.

Other than those, great pacing, good polish, and an ultimately sex payoff. This is one of those rare clop stories I could read without the promise of pony pussy poundings necessary to keep me interested.

I don’t think I can match as great as a review as Kalash, but just wanted to put in how fun it was to read. It wasn’t that it was just a clop story. Or a funny parody story. Or a dramatic, funny, clop parody story. But that it was written with all your usual high quality skill and care. The story has a nice kind of meatiness. The tense moments feel tense. And parts of the story bring you to the edge like any good horror. Then to a fit of fun giggles over the parody part. Like the typewriter scene was just perfect.

And even for the humor and sex the drama part too is heartfelt and leads into a thrilling scene for the emotion as much as the tantalizing squishy bits.:heart:

While I've never read the book and only vaguely remember the movie off the top of my head beyond the iconic scenes/moments its known for I do know the original movie isn't very popular with Stephen King.

That being said if the book is even half as good in the way you were able to capture moments of suspense and dread than I may have to go pick up a copy because your ability to set the scene and instill those hair raising moments of fear when the only thing that's there is silence and the characters own imagination verges on supernatural!

While this is a NSFW clop story just the writing alone is enough to keep me on edge and eagerly wanting to see what happens next. But even the sexy scenes sprinkled through out the story are ones that leave one longing to see the action continue. That and the moments of drama between Shining and Twilight feel authentic. Carrying on like two siblings who really care about each other while also demonstrating just how much they wish they could be more than *just* siblings.

The story overall is the most fun I've had reading in while and combined all my favorite genres/interests into one package namely horror/suspense, comedy, and sex. XD

This easily ranks in my top 10 pony stories. Absolutely loved it and if this is the type of writing I can expect with your other stories, I can't wait to dig in and read everything you have to offer!

Loved every single word of it. This fic is legendary!

Dammit, Grimm. Just looking at the tags, the chapter titles, and the description, I had a rough sense of how this was going to go, but there's a huge difference between "an interesting idea" and "a good execution of that idea". This story does both, in the best possible way.

Like, just based on the tags alone and reading a couple of paragraps, you just know how this thing is going to end. But even when you know it miles ahead, when you eventually get there it still manages to keep being interesting. They're more than just some ponies having sex; they're characters having sex. Or something. It's (much) more than just "generic porn."

Fantastic stuff.

The book is very good. The bits of backstory and creepiness of the hotel is deeper than even the movie includes.

I'll also add that this is the best incest story on any site I have read. The storytelling is superb.

atleast this didn't end with shining and twi dead frozen in the middle of the woods with a looks of crazy exostcy on there faces with shining on top of twi with his dead frozen cock in her dead frozen pussy

Hot damn this last chapter was good. The fear factor that Shining felt throughout the entire story was genuinely well written, probably the most notable aspect of the story from my eyes. Top job mate.

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