*Literally*
“Get your feet off the Magic Map!” Twilight Sparkle scolds.
You crinkle up your nose in distaste and turn your head to face her. “Who are you, Hitler? What are you gonna say next, hmm? That nopony has ever escaped from Stalag 13?”
Frowning, the Princess of Friendship trots toward you, still eyeing your bare feet splayed on the crystal table with disgust. “What are you talking about? What is a Hit-lar?”
You furrow your brow, cursing yourself for not recognizing that these wonderful little ponies know nothing of human culture or history. “Uh...He was a human. Real bad guy. Killed lots of people.”
Twilight’s eyes suddenly widen, and a smile seeps its way onto her face. “Wait, this sounds like a great cross-cultural note-taking opportunity!” With a flash of purple magic, a quill and notepad appear in front of her, hovering in her aura. “Okay, tell me all about this Hit-lar character.”
You scratch your head. “Well, he lived like, a while ago. He was from a country that lost a big war, and afterward he took it over and started another big war, which the country also lost. Then he offed himself.”
Twilight’s furious scribbling, a pleasant and familiar sound, echoed throughout the castle chamber. “More details, please.”
“He kind of had a cult of personality, I guess. Tried to put up this front of being big and strong, like he was the promised leader of his nation.”
Twilights’ ears perked up. “Oh! Like Princess Celestia!”
“No,” you cut back sharply. “Not at all like Princess Celestia. Anyway, it was part of this whole image thing, where he was, like, a vegetarian to make it seem like he was really healthy and strong.”
“Ponies are vegetarians,” Twilight tacks on as she writes. “I like him already.”
“NOT what you should be taking from the history lesson, Twilight,” you accuse, waggling a finger in her direction. “This guy was a bad dude. Like, he pretended to care about his people-”
“Princess Celestia cares lots about her subjects!”
You let out a loud sigh and shake your head violently in a futile attempt to clear it. “Again, he was not at all like Celestia! He was a megalomaniacal dictator! He’d have these big rallies, where he’d gather all his soldiers together and make these crazy, loud speeches-”
“In the Royal Canterlot Voice?”
Bringing your hands to your face, you rub it fiercely, practically desquamating the surface. “He’s not like Celestia, okay? He was a genocidal war-mongerer, obsessed with control. His cronies were crazy nationalists, and made up all these wild theories. They were into the occult, and made all these spooky symbols up to put everywhere. Like, archaic runes, and a black sun-”
Twilight raises an eyebrow. “A sun?”
Taking your feet down off of the table, you make two fists. Your body vibrates in a violent fit of clonus. “Okay, I’m going to try and make this clearer. Has Princess Celestia ever invaded another country?”
“No.”
“Well, Hitler did that all the time. Has Princess Celestia ever created giant weapons of destruction so she could commit war crimes!?”
“I don’t think so.”
Vindicated, you sigh in victory. Your spirits soar. “Hitler did that too! See what I’m talking about?”
“I guess so,” she agrees, taking a break from writing. “I guess that this Hit-lar is nothing like her.”
“Exactly. I mean, we’re talking about a guy who eliminated opposition and ruled his country with an iron fist.”
Pursing her lips, Twilight’s quill touches the paper again. “Princess Celestia had almost singular control of Equestria for a millennium.”
You leap up from Rarity’s crystal throne, which you had only minutes before been happily occupying. “NOT THE SAME! Did she ever establish concentration camps for her political enemies!?”
“Yes, it’s called Tartarus.”
Your heart beating out of your chest, you decide to slowly take a seat again. “Twilight, I...I can’t...Look, it’s not the same, okay?”
Squinting, Twilight reviews her notes. “...Well, forgive me for drawing conclusions based on data, but it sure looks the same to me.”
“I want to make this as clear as I possibly can, Princess. Hitler was probably the worst person to ever live; he’s definitely in the top five. He took control, murdered millions of humans, and claimed that his empire would last for a thousand years. Thankfully, it lasted, like, twelve, and we dished out swift and final justice to everyone who followed him. God willing, my species will never have to deal with such evil ever again.”
Twilight, squinting in a very contemplative manner, regards you for several seconds, as if analyzing and collating all the information you had given her. After a few moments, she speaks. “Did you say...a thousand years?”
Sighing in defeat, you wave your arms in front of your face, as if to clear a noxious gas from the room. “You know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything. Nevermind. Nazi Germany is not like Equestria, and Princess Celestia is not like Hitler.”
Twilight pouts for a moment, before shrugging and magically popping her note-taking equipment out of the room. “Alright, I’ll take your word for it. But, you really should spend more time giving me the story of human civilization. It’s really quite fascinating, and knowledge is the first step to deepening existing friendships!”
Ignoring Twilights’ characteristic (and, what would be in most other situations, endearing) little addendum, you sink lower in the throne and sigh again, forlornly this time. “Next time you tell me what to do, I’ll just call you Stalin instead.”
“Stalin?”
Groaning and rolling your eyes, you begin what you hope to be a much shorter lesson. “Another bad guy, also killed millions. Starved everyone to death. Claimed he was bringing the country forward into a revolutionary era of mechanization, actually pushed the country back into an agricultural dark age.”
Twilight makes a little chirping sound in her throat after taking in this new story. “Huh. A reactionary supporter of serfdom? ...Sounds kinda like Princess Luna.”
“I’m going to bed.”
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- CategoricalGrant · 3.6k words · 557 36 · 8.8k views
- Awesomo3000 · 2.3k words · 394 29 · 8.8k views
- Burt · 5.4k words · 126 11 · 3.1k views
- Rutter · 1.7k words · 377 9 · 5.5k views
- 2Merr · 1000 words · 416 25 · 12k views
- Cackling Moron · 2.5k words · 356 11 · 6.4k views
- Flutterpriest · 1.1k words · 164 13 · 3.9k views
- M48 Patton · 1.2k words · 99 6 · 2.1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.288 seconds
Total duration
1,077 users online
2,077,215 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Okay , so what Earth dictators would Twilight compare to Cadance? Flurry Heart? Herself?
Gave me a nice lil' chuckle. You get my updoot.
This was amusing
This is stupid. Not Majin Syeekoh levels of stupid, but still. I like it.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/5/10/1729201__safe_artist-colon-gun-dash-modoki_princess+celestia_adolf+hitler_alicorn_armband_army_deutschland_downvote+bait_flag_godwin%27s+law_hat_nazi_o.png
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/8/17/959532__safe_princess+celestia_cutie+mark_flag_nazi_no+pony_swastika.png
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/4/3/1402913__safe_anonymous+artist_princess+celestia_alicorn_black+sun_female_mare_-fwslash-mlpol-fwslash-_nazi_pony_reichsadler_reichsalicorn_swastika.png
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
Hitler: Celestia
Luna: Stalin
Cadance: Cleopatra
Flurry Heart: Hunn
Twilight: Napoleon
9802772
“Hey! I am not short!”
LUNA! GET ZE LUGER AND ZE FLAMMENWERFER ZE PURPLE ONE IS ONTO US!!!
9802771
This simultaneously surprises me, yet doesnt surprise me. I've seen ponies in SS uniforms (they were evil fuckers, but you can't deny that they had style), and plenty of USSR ponies, mainly Glimglam, but this is the first time I've seen Celestia Hitler.
9802727
Flurry Heart is obviously the Devil himself.
9802815
We're gonna werf so many flammens!
That title wouldn't happen to be a reference to a certain animation would it? Amusing story anyway, got an exhalation through the nose from me.
9802772
Nah, Twiggles is Polpot and Flurry Mao. Dunno about cadence though.
9802727
oh twilight is defs a cult leader with the whole school of friendship thing so you got a lot of possibility there
Cadance is like King Louis XVI because she was installed by a foreign power into her throne after the local monarchy was deposed and executed
9802771
Okay the first one is derpy as frick lol. She looks so emo and bony and their legs are absurd held like that.
Bruh!
They're not dictators if they all have cute cartoon faces...
Random fun fact: Hitler's closest analogue in the modern day isn't any part of the alt-right; it's whoever runs PETA. Look up his non-political beliefs and actions if you need proof.
Maybe Hitler and Stalin got reincarnated as Celestia and Luna XD
Well... Celestia is the one who taught Twilight, and Twilight was pretty speciesist in the early seasons. I mean... there was a lot of off-hoof insulting of other species. So, Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns is really a school for the Celestia Youths.
Luna as Stalin? Meh, I see her as more of a Lenin:
giphygifs.s3.amazonaws.com/media/61lMnpz0sKkpi/200.gif
Must Crush
CapitalismDaytime!9802815
ICH HABE EIN PANZERSCHRECK. IT SCHRECKS PANZERS!!
But Celestia always makes sure that the trains run on time.
And that one time that she had a big retreat with all her top advisors but an officer threw a pie at her and she totally survived it...
Oh god, it all adds up.
Ha! Nice.
I always knew it.
Does this mean Stalin is best pone?
Ey, don't put Stalin next Hitler, the starvation thing started because wealthy peasants refused to give the reigns over their land a property to the government, and then burned the produce in spite, that thing happened in the territory of today's Ukraine. And the ungodly numbers of people in gulag that Solzhenitsyn told you about was a gigantic overestimation. In 30 years of stalin's rule only 2,5 or so millions of people died in gulag, most of them war prisoners, murderers, thiefs and other awful kinds o people, and only like 2-3% of the numbers were political prisoners, maybe even less.
And I know that Stalin was bad, I don't deny it, it's just that people tend to put him alongside a psychopath that decided to murder Jews as ideology.
It's a bit infuriating to see people hate on a soviet leader, who took out about 80% of Nazi armies and helped to free Europe, in today's history books authors seem to avoid this fact in favor of only mentioning Stalin for awful things he did, and inflate them as if they were a balloon.
I wasn’t expecting that one!
A good fic nonetheless! Fine job.
9803224
My word. A revisionist. He starved the Ukraine, Holodomor and it was a genocide just as surely as Hitler's campaign against the Jews. Took land from people that knew how to farm and put city folk on farms. He was one of the most truly vile humans to ever walk the planet. If anything he was worse than Hitler. "Free Europe." Riiiigt. It was called the "Iron Curtain" for a reason. My history degree just cried at your comment.
For the story, I always considered Equestria a police state/dictatorship under a rainbow paintjob. Seeing Celestia getting parallels with Hitler is rather comical for me.
9803224
While I want to rant and all, I feel like that would be meaningless and really not appropriate. However I will mention that, for a good reason, Stalin is considered a much worse person than Hitler on this side of the ye olde iron courtain. The reason some people consider him "less bad" is simply because he won ww2 and nazi germany lost, and as we know only good guys won that war.
9803224
Stalin was directly and indirectly responsible for around 25 million deaths during his reign, and was feared by the entire country due to his tendency to order the killing of anyone who displeased him. He started off in his party as a literal street thug and enforcer, and the body count brought about by his actions is only somewhat rivaled by Mao Zedong of China, who was responsible for around 21 million deaths due to his actions and policies. On a related note Stalin was also very antisemitic (despite having at one point married a wife of Jewish decent, who "shockingly" had a rather poor relationship with him) causing him at one point to arrest all Jewish doctors they could find and send them off to camps for supposedly plotting against him in an event known as "The Doctors Plot".
This amusingly ended up being the death of Stalin, as when he had a heart attack while alone in his room (which nobody discovered until a good few hours had passed due to him having given orders to not disturb him, and people were too scared to violate those orders for a good while) there were no doctors capable of preforming the surgery needed to save his life (people were also too scared to bring back one of the Jewish doctors, as Stalin would have likely have them all killed if he discovered such). By the time they found a doctor, it was too late for anything to be done.
9803254
Hitler and Stalin were both awful in their own ways. Both leaders invaded Poland, committed ethnic cleansing, terrorized their own populace, and caused millions of deaths.
But Stalin, to me, seems to have been more despicable on a personal level. When his mistreated son tried (unsuccessfully) to kill himself, Stalin "joked" that his son was too dumb to shoot straight.
Also, Stalin conspired to kill the city leaders of Leningrad for their popularity. These were the people who kept the city afloat during the horrible siege of the city, and Stalin killed them out of jealousy.
9802772
You forgot one.
Nightflight: The Red Skull
9803224
You seem to be what we in the business refer to as a 'tankie'
9803332 We're forgetting Mao, the biggest killer in history (likely killed more than the Black Death).
He would be Starlight.
9803296 Mao's death total was actually MUCH higher. The minimum number is around 40 million, possibly as high as 100 million. China was so insular and lied about so much, it's hard to get a more accurate total.
9803224 Fillies and gentlecolts, allow me to present to you this comment as what a REAL Russian bot looks like.
People also tend to forget Stalin and Hitler signed a nonaggression pact. Stalin was quite willing to stand by and do nothing while the Axis ran roughshod over Europe, and had his own sinister plans for Eastern Europe.
Had Hilter not been a impatient, insane pathological backstabber (as Neville Chamberlain learned far too late), they both would have been ruling over a continent composed entirely of fascism and communism, then afterward they'd have battled for supremacy. It would have been incomprehensibly catastrophic and I suspect the death toll would have depopulated entire nations.
And afterward, they'd have come for the USA.
No, in retrospect, despite all the mistakes and poor judgements the Allies made initially, things could have been much, much worse.
9803254 He also murdered most of his initial supporters in the Kremlin. Of over a thousand, only a handful survived. And much of Stalin's evil was committed before WWII even began. He was so vicious even Lenin warned not to let him take control... and then Lenin conveniently died suddenly. Stalin's young wife spoke out against him... and then was 'suicided'.
The only reason we see Hitler as the biggest monster of all is that so much of Stalin and Mao's horrors were hidden behind the Iron Curtain.
They were a Triad of Evil, and each should be reviled forever.
9803254
Hey, I don't say he's a super goodytwoshoes, and you forgetting that holodomor was also Romania, Poland and other South-Eastern Europe countries not under the influence of USSR because of 2 year drought everyone seem to forget about. Also the northern chunk of Ukraine was part of Poland before the war. And relocation of the few ethnic groups was needed at the time, cause they hated each other to death.
I'm glad that I have myself speaking with a historian, but you must understand my confusion if you use the numbers of dead provided by western sources and not the declassified information released by Russian Federation (who also don't like Stalin very much). I'm simply pointed out that he is not on the same level as hitler, that he was much much better but still bad.
And about freeing Europe, you simply must see the photos of how people of Europian countries met Soviet soldiers, with flowers and smiles on their faces, men throwing their hats in the air in greeting of the liberators from nazism. I'm appalled that today the role of USSR in defeating the Nazi germany is so greatly diminished by the over exaggerated mistakes of the leader.
9803411
And the Britain absolutely didn't plan to backstab USSR after victory over Nazis, don't happened at all.
Chairman Mao. Yes. He was another horrible Communist. Thankfully he had a falling out with Stalin or we might have had a different story. Whether Starlight killed as many, depends on whether or not those worlds are parallel dimensions or were merely "what might have beens." Starlight's story really is a commentary on the theory of Communism and what happens when it is actually applied. Thankfully in Pony world she has been shown the error of her ways and is an asset to Equestria instead of a liability. If only Hitler had been accepted to the Art Academy. Alternative Histories are interesting.
9803411
Agree.
9803419 You're right. It didn't happen at all. Stalin grabbed all the territory he wanted.
Now me, I'd have DEFINITELY betrayed him! I'd have slipped a slow-acting mutant variant of my chimeric super-virus 'Ebolaids' into his borsch!
And then the world would have been all mine... (Alondro is best Supreme Tyrant, has best plans) And then it'd be on to creating large-breasted futa Renamons… for all the yiffing… (OMG, HE'S ALSO A FURRY!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
)
9803416 Stalin made Hitler look like a piker and Mao was probably worse. Alondro has it right. Lenin couldn't even stand him and that's like the pot calling the kettle black. This is one of those arguments that happen in academic circles and will never be resolved and you will not convince me and I have no hope of convincing you.
9803437
His plan was called "the unthinkable". You might want to read about it before mocking people.
9803423 Actually, there's a single act which would have prevented WWI and everything which proceeded from then on: if the car carrying Archduke Ferdinand hadn't made an unplanned turn down the street where the gunman was brooding about his hatred for everything at a café.
It was a crime of opportunity which led to every modern bloodbath.
And all a time traveler to the past would have to have done was stick his foot out so the guy tripped when he stood up to approach the car.
It was the ultimate example of a Butterfly Effect.
It's also the ultimate rebuke of those who believe one person cannot change the entire world. Sadly, it is too frequently acts of murder which have such far-reaching effects. There are more Mansons than there are Ghandis.
9803446
You dismiss the important evidence that in the last years of his life Lenin had a few aneurisms and lost his ability to think clearly, his personality did 180 and he lost his trust in Stalin, because of the illness lenin proclaimed him the worst.
9803390
Me having an opinion based on the facts and declassified documents is bad?
9803419
Ah, you sir are a fan of "Whataboutism"
Yeah the British are assholes who *probably preformed Genocide against the Irish.
What does that have to do with the fact the the USSR is DEFINITELY responsible for millions of their own dead citizens?
Just because the British were dicks doesn't even come close to excusing the USSR for being dicks.
*depending if you count the whole Cromwell thing a genocide.
9803449
Actually. The turn was planned. Franz intended to go to the hospital to visit the people injured when the bomb that failed to blow his car up blew up. And the dude that actually shot him did so while looking in the complete opposite direction. He very easily could have missed regardless.
9803458
Eh, it puts a perspective on the the whole thing, like, for example, Japanese concentration camps in USA, when they moved all of their Japanese citizens in camps, when Japan attacked Pearl Harbor.its too was a very bad thing.
All I wanted to say is that Stalin is not as bad as Hitler, it's just was in interest of USA to make everyone believe he was worse. Like now it is in interest of your democrats to say that Russia is bad and influenced the elections.
9803470
Relocating people because of the threat of the Fifth Column is different than putting them into forced labor camps because you think they're lesser people.
Cannot in good conscience upvote this. It's a thing that exists at least.
9803484
And do you know how many of Japanese USA citizens died there? How bad was the housing? How little there were food? I agree that is different, American citizens died because they were Japanese, and in gulag people died because they were sent there for crimes and 99% were not political.