• Published 26th May 2019
  • 6,941 Views, 333 Comments

The King of Starbucks - Nightingale321



After a mugging gone wrong, I wake up in a strange castle after being "saved" by Q from Star Trek. To make matters worse, the local population thinks I'm the lost prince of the Crystal Empire, Shadow Heart. Or to be more accurate: King Sombra.

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Comments ( 96 )

I'm getting strong Devil is a part timer vibes from this.

The ending was glorious and perfection embodied in English text. Don't @ me.

Don't care about Stu this Stu that...
It's your story, your passion. Don't let the other bother you...
My rule is "if it's interesting story then I will read it. If not? Then I not comment here"
Your story not boring. It's interesting, very much so...
Btw thanks for the New chapter...
I expecting new chapter soon...

9648934
I'm working on Valkyrie now, so you're going to have to wait until tomorrow. Sorry love.:pinkiesad2:

"FOR STARBUCKS!" we cheered. The door opened, and all hell broke loose.

Now im imagining that scene from the very first episode of spongebob... you know the one.

9648942
Pony Feather... 24 hours?!
I can deal with it... :trixieshiftleft:
Or can I :trixieshiftright:

First, I want to say that I love the story. Like how sarcastic Shadow Heart/Sombra is and I laughed at Angel’s embarrassment and love for him. I also REALLY liked the introduction of Crimson Tea in the story and Coffee being so unrepentant about being caught by one of her employees in an NSFW best part, however, was Sombra inspiring all of his coworkers to deal with the monstrous morning rush.
P.S: Is there a chance that there could be an NSFW aversion of the story in the future once you finish your other NSFW story? Kinda curious as to how Coffee and Crimson ended up in that hot predicament.

9648948
or even better the entire anime that is: "the devil is a part-timer"

9648984
Might make it if my Futa story does well. I'm not all that confident in making Smutt.

9648988
Then I honestly hope your futa story goes well. Really want to see how Crimson Tea ended up in that predicament with Coffee, plus want to see the amount of sexy shenanigans Sombra would get into. That being said, I think you’ll do great with your futa story if you write it as good as you do with this story.
Kissass mode deactivated. In all seriousness, thanks for the funny chapter and hope you do well with your other stories.

Was the "Wrath of the Whiskey Queen" fighting style a reference to blackjack from Fallout Equestira? If so, I've gotta see that shit in action. :rainbowlaugh:

9649010
Shhhh, she'll hear you! She has robot ears! ROBOT. EARS!

Ok I LOVE the Shadow Hearth persona you made and i definetly aprove of Angel.
But i also dont like the direction you went with Cadence and the supposed 6 other ¨bad mares¨ that Q/Discord will bring in for chaos and his herd or w/e.

I Feel the story would be better focusing on the developing relationship between our 2 main protagonists and their hardships/comedy........
But hey what i know, right? Its your story in the end

9649046
Reminds me of the anime "The Devil's a part timer?!" Where the devil from another world along with his second in command get sent to the modern day Japan along with the 'greatest hero' of their time. The Devil becomes a part time MCDonalds employee, his second in command because a stay at home mom, and the hero becomes a telemarketer. The other thing it reminds me of is the fact that neither of them really spend time with anybody other than the hero and devil, and even then it's mostly just the Devil doing his job in a wacky way, at least, for the first few episodes. So give it time, the author is probably just setting up the world first.

9648948
Oh yeah, I love that one.

"Not the most erotic thing I've seen, nor the kinkiest. You'd need to at least add a few more guys, a couple of hermaphrodites, a tentacle monster, a few loli's, bondage equipment, and maybe excessive amounts of watersports before you'd be able to phase me," I replied simply. Her eyes gained their perverted twinkle again.

It nagged me that the Equestrians understand the Hentai reference. Do the kinks the universal standards no matter what world you are?

I just read all the chapter's and I am confused about Angel Blade, how does she go along with him so easy?

And wouldn't she be a crystal pony since she was in the kingdom when it came back?

Anyways, love the story so far

9649157
One: In the world they live in it is entirely possible that tentacle mosters exist
Two: Only tentacle monster and loli are references and there is no guarantee that she knows the reference and it could just be everything else he said that sparked the pervert fire
Three: The multiverse obeys the law of kink
Four: moustache:moustache:

This chapter made me smile and laugh. Thank you, made my night better. Keep up the great work!!!!

Well looks like this series in going Herdsville fast at this point, I am guessing that there will be three or four more mares chasing his tail toon, I am betting on Maud Pie, Moon Dancer and Saffron joining in.

9649537
Looks down at one of the comments I've made earlier...

I only said three......

Why all the assumptions?:pinkiesad2:

Wonder though. How will Shadow Heart be able to conquer the Crystal Empire at this rate?🤔

I just died. Seriously. I fucking just wheezed

"Act your age," I flicked her forehead, causing her to wince in pain.

How does one 'flick' with hooves?

9649549
I think there's some confussion/disconnect here. A lot of the things are being played for laughs IMO but a lot of the comments seem to be taking them seriously... Personally I'm still hoping Soarin makes it into Shadow's herd :pinkiecrazy:

I had a similar experience on Black Friday many years ago. Speech had less hyperbole and no one hugged, but damned if we didn’t gird ourselves for war.

9649686
I definitely hoping for this as well. :rainbowkiss:

Now that I’m all caught up, I feel I can adequately state my opinion on this entire thing. Well, from the top;

I like the protagonist, but he seems odd to me in the way that he can associate and disassociate at will, which is, simply, an inhuman ability. Usually when one lies often or in this case acts against their nature, they find that their truth or core being slightly skews each time, until most people have nothing left but their shiny mask collection- a run-of-the-mill sociopath. What I find odd is that despite having clear and obvious sociopathic tendencies, he seems to have absolutely no difficulty forming emotional connections, gaining all the benefits of sociopathy while maintaining healthy relationships somewhat honestly. Is he a fun character I enjoy reading about? Yeah, he is. I just have a hard time suspending disbelief when he’s got the power fantasy going both physically AND mentally.

Discord messing with shit? Fun. He seems to not be as clever as other iterations of the character, but the pure, destructive chaos he’s got going still works fine. No real complaints here.

Ah yes, the current wife material. I really like her! She seems like a well rounded individual, a slight timid ness mixed well with rigid tradition, creating a very entertaining side character for the main man to mess with. Hope she sticks around.

Hyper-sexual Cadence? Roxie, yeah... I don’t think that’s it, chief. I don’t have a problem with her focus on sex, it could be fun, but I feel as though, right now, that’s her only personality trait. I see no reason to care for her other than the consequences of her actions on the plot, but I’d really like to. She’s just gotta get more development.

I gotta say, I think it’s really cool- showing a distrust between the Crystal Empire and Equestria. Definitely not something I see often, and I think the protagonist has the right attitude to make interesting choices when things inevitably go to shit. My only problem with this whole thing is that, when this plot point gets into full swing and we see an effective war and/or shit flinging contest, we might lose some wonderful satire. Political thriller is also great, yeah, but I am admittedly attatched to the idea of Shad sticking to his coffe shop. Also, I just realized Shad is an amazing nickname for the man. We ain’t calling him Shadow ‘Ow the Edge’ the Hedgehog, and the throwback to Shadman with all the kinky shit fits too well. Shad it is.

I could easily be wrong about my criticisms, this story is far too early in to say absolutely anything concrete, but I feel it’s important to outline this stuff to provide a different perspective before events are set in stone. Right now, this is a very fun read and looks like it will be for quite some time. I look forward to what else you do.

I let rubbed my temples for a moment, then straightened my back, lifted my head, and prepared for the Hoard!

1. Remove "Let"
2. it's spelt horde
"A hoard of gems."
"A horde of ponies come for our coffee."

Comment posted by AimlessPone deleted May 29th, 2019

9649830
you my friend have never met me then foolish creature of the depths if I press the emotion button your as good as dead and at the same time I have talked people out of suicide and self harm in favor of helping society its actually not uncommon to find someone like me in a classroom a workplace or your favorite store the difference between me and a serial killer is I haven't killed anyone only beaten the holy shit out of people who decided I looked impressionable now I want you to take a good look at all your collogues at work the one with the biggest smile all the time is someone like me someone who can quite litterly turn off there emotions for as long as they want it doesn't make us killers right off the bat but we can easily become them if we start to think its more efficient to kill someone for something than to work for it the way I don't start thinking that is I think of all the possibilities that one person has and if I'm there loyal friend I can benefit from said possibilities, am I insane yes I think I am but I think as long as I don't harm another being with the intent to kill I'm ok with that

9649787
A spiritomb from pokemon, and if you want to know why i put it there when they said 108, look it up

Sparing with her will help the "Princely" image I'm creating at least. I'd rather sleep in.'

Sparring - practice/training fight between two or more people.

Sparing - to grant mercy to someone, usually, but not limited to, in the form of not taking their life when you could.


As for this latest chapter: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!

*Reads story description*
...

So you're telling me, MC said "Fuck this", hopped into the train just as the mane 6 arrived, and left to enjoy a Slice of Life adventure?

Hell yes, I'm on board to such a story

9650616
as are us all. So far it's paid off in the way of a good story.

9650699
Better, and thanks for your criticism. I'll keep it in mind for later. :heart:

Also, Mildly Sexist for you to assume that Angel can't fight against stallions. When she states later that she's too afraid to fight against Sombra.

9649830
First point. Millions of people are capable of switching on and off their personalities, emotions, and mentalities under certain circumstances. Soldiers, Police, Doctors, Investigators, are some of the people who do this on a daily basis.

As for you're other points? They are fine.

9650699
The first point, If you read past chapter 2, then you'd know that Angel is only scared of Sombra, not stallions. That's rather sexist for you to assume so.

Two: Even more sexist drivel that sounds like you are getting mad about something that's insignificant.

Three: Even more sexist assumptions that make no sense whatsoever. Why do you assume that he is objectifying her? What's wrong with making a few off-handed comments concerning the feminity of an individual? I don't want to be that guy, but it's people like you that ruin other peoples work over something that you're clearly over-complicating because you don't like it.

It's comments like these that are the reason why writers don't bother making anything they want to write on this site in the first place.

9650973
I feel I was too vague with my terminology. That’s fine, let me correct myself:

When I say disassociation, there are multiple kinds- the instances listed with professions listed like doctors and policemen, and that kind isn’t as drastic as the kind shown. Rather than preventing themselves from feeling anything, this kind of disassociation is a focused effort that suppresses already existing feelings. As it is tied to a profession, this doesn’t cause the emotional spectrum shutdown like the sociopathic counterpart. This type is just nipping those feelings at the bud (Or if they were simply born a sociopath, never having a bud to begin with) and preventing them from actually happening, creating the complete lack of empathy shown by most with sociopathy. An excellent example of the difference is psychologists, who have to remain impartial and avoid being attatched to the client’s current personality while still having a healthy relationship with others otherwise. As for changing personalities, I admit, I lack personal experience with this. Once heard of multiple personalities, but giving a false impression of a personality you don’t have is just really good lying. I’m not trying to insinuate that Shad has multiple personalities, either- he’s actually a fairly compelling case for the ‘survivalist’ attitude in this case, where he lies as little as possible, which still ends up being quite a few lies in the end, but it works. It’s because of that survivalist attitude that I critique his ability to form such a trusting and solid connection within what, his first day in Equestria? Not even occupational, but full on breakneck speed romance. I like the romance, and the wife-to-be is a really interesting character in her own right, but considering he went out of his way to do that and is so willing to show his true self within at most hours of discussion? It goes against his very evident survivalist/light sociopathic nature, and it makes me have a hard time suspending my disbelief. As for mentalities, well, that’s an argument I don’t think I made- mentalities are absolutely fluid and change-able, usually through outside factors (Though there are people with rigid ideologies that give them a rock-hard mentality, this is more on the uncommon side). I agree to that end.

But yes, you’re absolutely right about me not clarifying the types of distancing, I should’ve clarified. For any further discussion, if I address the occupational variant, I will call it detachment. I will continue to call the sociopathic variant disassociation.

9650943
1) The user is describing his sociopathic tendencies as a response to my criticisms of the sociopath in the story. It’s not a bad thing to have these traits, just different.

Or

2) The user’s just an edgelord who wants respect off of the discussion.

I’d say 2 is less likely considering the length of the text, at the very least I think this is the user’s genuine outlook of the world. But hey, it isn’t my place to say- online horseword comment sections have little permanence in seriousness, and even less in genuine psychological evaluation.

9651383
A Colt after my own heart! I love Psychology.

9650699
I feel there’s a bit of context that makes this a little more reasonable than what you describe:

1) When initially encountered by Shad, she has reasoning for why she is scared- her female relatives, all genuinely skilled, high ranking military personnel with full blown wars under their names were basically no match for him, forced to become sex slaves. When greeted by someone who bested them with ease? While he flirts? It is very hard to describe just the levels of PTSD that trigger on that. I’d say passing out is a pretty standard reaction.

2) When she does regain her senses, he acts completely out of character with the Sombra she knew. Flirtatious, yes, but also genuinely considerate and reasonable. Pile this on with the evidence that he resembles an uncorrupted Sombra, an actual rightful prince of the crystal empire? Her military training says this isn’t a threat, but a VIP.

Do I also think she developed romantic feelings for him too quickly? Yeah, that was kinda silly. Though, with where this story is going, I’d say suspend your disbelief. Of course this isn’t a perfect introduction, and I have my own criticisms, but I feel you’re jumping the gun a bit and we’ll see a bit more quality soon. At least, I’m optimistic about the story direction as long as we see Roxie prove to be a more interesting character.

when i saw this the first time i considered it and i was like 'is this a parody of the devil is a part timer or something' looks like not

Hard to see why this is on recommended. Random pony waifu by the second chapter, with No characterization at all other than the fact she passed out like one of those fainting goats? Absolutely no efforts to restrain, or escape from someone that is at the very least a doppleganger of their worst villain? I'm sorry to say I couldnt make it past the second chapter. My suspension of disbelief was stretched too thin here. I'm not trying to be cruel or mean, but the author really needs to consider an overhaul. I mean, if a guy that looked like Hitler, even a sexy buff hitler, showed up at the posting of a pretty female soldier of jewish heritage, she would not likely fall for him over the course of minutes. If she thought he was real hitler, she'd probably shoot him, or run.

9649982
My friend, allow me the pleasure to introduce you to a wonderful new invention in typography that people are calling "punctuations"...

I have a re-e-ealy mixed feelings about this. Chapters with Shadow Heart were fine, but Cadence replacement? Ugh. Bury that where you dug it up and build a highway over it, pretty please.

I wonder where Discord stuffed replaced personalities?

9650704
that's fair, Sombra being who he is

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