• Member Since 3rd Oct, 2017
  • offline last seen January 13th

LudicrousBot


If you’re reading this, I hope you know that you are very important and have a good day!

Comments ( 55 )

hmmm, I definantly want to see where this is going...
please, take my watch and upvote!

9711527
Interesting, my own story doesn’t pop up for me when searching it up in the search bar or when I add it to a group. I’m going to assume this is a bug and you accessed it through new stories?

Informative: I fear no beast nor man, but that thing it scares me.

9711544
Yep
i.imgur.com/9Yo9QNO.png

High-Five to the brave souls that sort by new

9711550
I’m afraid my limited cognitive abilities do not understand this reference, could you possibly rephrase that again?

9711557
Response: It is a reference to the Old Terra game Team Fortress 2.
Informative: It is also about the picture you chose.

9711562
Ah yes, thank you for elaborating.

9711527
Me to, but I will wait for other chapters to give a vote, until now I see it well and I like it

Dude, don't give us a massive info dump about the character at the start/description. SHOW us pieces of his life as the story progresses.

The info dump in the description has to go, put that on a gdoc for reference later so you don’t forget it, but that’s good information that can be trickled in throughout the fic by the main character. A character evolves as we learn more about him or her. Coming in with detailed information about someone you’ve never met will ruin any opportunity to learn who they are through their actions.

Great potential and am enjoying it so far. Could use a little less pov changes tho

9711650
Point taken. Thank you for the criticism, I originally planned for it to short but looked at what it turned out. Seeing as I am still going to show bits and pieces of his memories as the story plays out, you don’t have to worry much if you do plan on reading as the story progresses.


9711866
Point taken. Thank you for pointing this out as well. As for the trickling info, I will still do that regardless with or without the info dump, which has already been removed minutes before I have posted this comment.

9712117
I would recommend that in the fight scenes do not change the point of view because, although it does not look bad with the changes in the pov, it would be more fluid to have a single pov, at least that is my opinion

9712131
Point taken. You won’t have to worry about a POV change mid-fight next chapter.

9711562
Inquisitive: A magos would be jealous of what can be learned from such a creature.

9712893
Exclamation: That was Ender you ignorant MEATBAG!

Perspective hopping is kinda jarring. Provided you have trouble to write mind of Tia anyway ( compared to main character) using her perspective also feels unnatural. It's better to leave one or two perspectives: everything third person (preferable for continuity and better narrative), everything first person of MC (preferable for actually writing his way of thinking), or third person narrative as intermedia and first person of MC. Two first persons, rapidly switching with third, is too much.

Vote up for a curious idea for story.

9712896
*removes her faceplate* No meat. Just self-repairing polymers. Very lifelike.

(Hence the line in user profile. Oh, and just the idea for retort to a cyborg:)

Way ahead of you, canned brains.

We hope this story is successful and doesn't follow the same fate as the others

9712906
I’ll keep that in mind, thanks for the criticism.

My testicles growing uncomfortably along with my penis growing to a massive size, especially at the base.

Unexpected details meaning NSFW content in later chapters.
Either way a good story, looking forward to new chapters

9716257
Just look at the maturity rating and warnings. Most chapters will be NSFW (Gore, sex, narcotics, and etc), with the exceptions being some slice of life esque chapters.

I've been reading this story twice now butt the only thing on my mind is that the main character is going to go through the typical changing in to a werewolf during a full moon or changing at will turn sunlight at wall if he is going to change that will help him with putting (I think I spelled that right) fear in he's enemies

9716595
Not exactly. Without spoiling too much, I’m going to say that he isn’t a werewolf, seeing as he hasn’t looked at a full moon and turned, can’t naturally shapeshift, or hasn’t yet been placed under a curse.

That's okay because I'm really look forward to reading more of it

Not bad, but try not to have so many pov changes. You can work a lot of that into the main narrative without the change.

Also, if you're going to have a first person story that shifts perspective, don't shift from first to first like you did with Celestia. That gets confusing trying to remember who 'I' is. It's better to go from first to third.

3/3 stories CANNED I wonder if this one will make it, probably not lol

Okay I like this please update this soon.

I like this chapter, but I have a question, will Boreas be a secondary character or will he be another protagonist? personally, he is a character that I liked more than Santiago, he is an enigma since he was formed from a Wendigo but he proved to be able to feel sympathy towards other beings, it is a very interesting character that you could take as a protagonist making him have his own pow, as I said, is an interesting character that I would like to see more.

In short, I recommend you to develop more Boreas in the next chapter, he could be either an antagonist, or a powerful ally or a being that everyone thinks is bad but in reality it is good, so far, he is the best character in history until now

one more thing, in the story of Boreas, one passes directly from the princesses knowing Fernir's story to him going to the town to kill the Wendigo, it is not explained what happened in the town or where it is, I do not know if that just It happens to me or it is a problem of editing, please check it

9764580
He is a protagonist of sorts but is more neutral than being lawfully good. This being the case, because his Wendigo spirit leeched off Fenrir and had manifested itself sentience. His ’Moral Code’ was molded by Fenrir’s own Lycan Code, a rather neutral one too. Boreas will develop over the story, molding him into what I have planned for him.

9764598
I will reveal the settlement’s name soon. Also, I don’t know if something glitched out and it wasn’t stated that the ponies of the settlement directed Fenrir over to the forest, but I’ll check it out.

9764661
Thanks for check, and i be waiting for the next chapter

For those of you who follow this story, you’ll be wondering why this story is on Hiatus. Don’t worry, I’m still working on this story but I have become very sick and won’t be working on it until I get better. I’m predicting that I’ll be good in a few days, so please bear with me.

9869913
This story won’t stop, I’ve just been very busy with school.

Hoooo okay go in peace brother and may God be with you

9878364
Besides, I’ve got plenty of ideas that I really want to implement into this story

any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?

9906008
I’ve recently started to make decent progress on my third chapter. I won’t be that busy with school for the next couple of days, so within a week at most.

NmB

Dude you can’t make a second protagonist that surpasses your first so shamelessly. No offense but Boroes sounds amazing, his powers are an enigma and his personality is extremely more entertaining. Why would we want to keep following poor Santiago, he’s relatively weak, breaks down at an alarming rate and he’s quite frankly a little on the dumb side. I’m afraid that what’s gonna happen is that people are gonna be exited for Boreas story while getting bored by Santiago, I’ve read stories with multiple protagonist before and in very few I didn’t get bored of one protagonist.

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