Octavia's Painting

by Ribe_FireRain

Chapter Six - Breaking the Chain

Author's Note:

Well, here you have it - the end!

I was a little sad inside that I had to stop working on this one, but I have to say that I'm unsure about the ending. I'm not going to change anything in the story that's already been written and established, but I'm just going to suck up this one due to its daft nature. Can't get any more stereotypical than this, can you?

The train ride back was slow but happy, and it was just the same as when they first left Ponyville - the same, empty and quiet carriage at the back of the train. Neither one could complain, though. It was nice to have a little alone time to spend together.

Colour Palette was laughing as he held Octavia's shoulder, the pair of them lost in their own howls and fits of laughter, their sides aching and their facial muscles tightened and strained from the force of their laughing.

''Did you see Minstrel's face? Ah!'' He said, slapping his knee. ''Priceless!'' He said, allowing the laughter to die down as he wiped a tear away from his reddened face, brushing his blonde mane back over his shoulders. ''You can be quite dominating and assertive when you want to be,'' He said, feeling impressed and proud.

Octavia blushed and giggled to herself, knowing that she shouldn't have let her anger to control of her in a situation. On the upside, the moment made for some rather humorous conversation on the ride back to Ponyville.

''I wouldn't use the word 'dominating', Colour,'' Octavia said modestly. ''I would say 'controlling' is a better fit. When you live with a ruffian like Vinyl Scratch, you learn to have your moments. She can be quite...unpredictable from time to time. One of us has to keep the other one in-check so they don't end up wrecking the house,'' She said. ''I'm more than certain that our house insurance doesn't cover 'destruction caused by subwoofers and bass cannons'.''

Colour Palette laughed again.

''Still on about Vinyl Scratch, huh?'' He asked, holding her shoulder lightly. ''You miss her, don't you?'' He asked knowingly. ''Where is she, anyway? I don't think I've seen her around your house before.''

''Vinyl's not around because she's busy touring around Equestria to promote her new record,'' Octavia said sadly, feeling her heart ache eagerly for the time when her tour came to an end and she was due to arrive back home. ''She should be back home some time next week,'' Octavia said.

''She sounds like a really good friend, Octavia,'' Colour said knowingly. ''She seems really lucky to have you,'' He told her.

''I am,'' Octavia said with a small smile. ''It's not the same without her around to make a mess and to leave me to clean up after her. It's like we share an odd mother-daughter relationship sometimes, but I wouldn't have it any other way, if I'm being honest,'' She said, feeling the longing for Vinyl's return throb within her chest the more she spoke about it. She needed a change in subject. ''So, what about the Phoenix Tear Drops from Minstrel's shop? You think it'll really work?''

Colour Palette took the vial out of his bag and inspected the small glass item. He brought it closely towards his eye to get a better look at the strange liquid on the inside of the vial, the top secured with a simple, black cork stuck in the neck.

The substance on the inside was deep yellow in colour, but it also had a strange, warmth to it that could be felt through the glass against Colour's hoof as he held it. Dancing and sloshing around in the yellow liquid was a glittery orange colour, glowing and pulsing with a dim light. It was like holding a contained ball of fire in a jar, and he wondered what it would do if it touched a pony's bare skin.

What made this so special, anyhow? The tears of a mythical fire bird can destroy a cursed and possessed painting while ordinary fire is completely ineffective? Maybe it could have something to do with the magical abilities that phoenix tears are said to house.

Colour Palette had heard stories about their tears being miracles of nature. They could heal wounds and clean them simultaneously. Cuts, grazes and shattered bones could be repaired within moments of being introduced to the tears of a fiery, majestic phoenix. Like the Booster Spell, Colour thought to himself that this potion was a modified version of your average bottle of phoenix tears.

''I don't know, Octavia,'' Colour said, lowering the glass vial. ''But I'm sure we'll find out soon enough,'' He said. He turned his back towards his saddlebags that were resting beside him on the cushioned seat they were sat upon and said, ''And I have something for you,'' He turned back around with something in his hooves, presented towards her.

Octavia's eyes widened.

It was A Heart in Your Hoof by Merry Rosingberry.

It was the exact same one that had been displayed on the shelf behind the counter in Minstrel's shop.

''I took it when you were squeezing the information out of him,'' He said. ''And before you ask, it's technically not stealing. That greedy pile of filth owed me for a little transaction he didn't live up to in the past, so let's just call it collateral,'' He said.

Octavia was shocked, her mouth agape as she stared at the book in disbelief.

She hadn't actually had the pleasure of holding this book since she turned fifteen, about the same time when she was really settling into her profession. Ever since she wanted to become a cellist and explore her talent, she didn't have much money, despite the wealth of her family. Her father had told her, 'Just because we are rich doesn't mean everything is free, Octavia. If you want something, you will have to buy it yourself.'

And so, with that information in mind and her father's hoof firmly planted in the soil, Octavia had been left no choice but to sell her book at a local book merchant and collector in Canterlot in order to buy her very first cello. It broke her heart and she was torn up about it for weeks, but she had wanted it so badly.

Octavia's hooves reached up slowly and took a hold of the book, staring blankly at the pristine front cover, rubbing one of them against it before she looked back up into the blue of Colour's warm eyes.

''It's wonderful,'' Octavia said, beyond thankful for the gesture. She felt herself tear up. ''I love it. Thank you,'' She said, giving Colour Palette a grateful hug for the thought. He gladly accepted it and he smiled.

''I had a feeling that you'd like it,'' He said, and by the time he had broken away from the hug, he said, ''Oh, I think we've stopped in Ponyville,'' He said as the train jerked and came to a halt by the platform. Getting up, he grabbed his saddlebags and slung them over his back before turning to Octavia and saying, ''Are you ready to put an end to this?''

''As read as I'll ever be,'' Octavia said as she got up and took in a deep breath. ''But what if it doesn't go to plan? What if it doesn't work out?'' She asked doubtfully.

''Don't worry, Octavia,'' Colour said reassuringly. ''It'll work. You'll see.'' Octavia gulped at that.

''I hope so.''

*** *** ***

Octavia and Colour Palette entered through the door to Octavia's home residence and Colour set his saddlebags down on the table in the kitchen.

Colour looked in Octavia's direction for a moment before he began to unlock and unfurl the flap containing the vial of Phoenix Tear Drops and Stencil's journal, taking them out and placing the journal on the table.

He looked at it for a long moment or two as he thought about what the potion might do to it. He had this gut feeling that it was going to be an epic roar of flames cooking the blood and ink off of the pages of the ancient journal, taking with it the dark energy that had attached itself to it.

Colour held the vial in his hoof and he gave it a once-over before he pondered about what he was going to do with it. According to what Minstrel had informed him about using it, only a few flicks of the potion to the cursed object should completely decimate and purge the affected item of the black magic it houses.

He wondered for a while what would happen once the journal burned and crumbled into a charred, mangled mess of incinerated parchment and baked ink and singed leather.

''Are you alright?'' Octavia asked him upon noticing his hesitation. ''If you'd like, I'd perform the task,'' She offered, but Colour shook his head and said,

''No, Octavia. This journal belongs to me, so it should be me that destroys it for what it's done to my family,'' He said, his voice full of conviction and laced with undertones of bitter anger towards the Booster Spell's unholy effects. ''My ancestor started this, so I should be the one to finish this,'' He said.

''Wait a moment!'' Octavia said suddenly. She grabbed the journal and shoved it into the metal sink, where her broken and cracked wine bottle was still resting with the stained tea towel. ''It won't set fire to the house this way if something goes wrong,'' Octavia said. ''It's only to be safe.''

''Right. Good thinking,'' Colour said, pulling the cork from the vial with a hollow pung! sound as it came out with a firm tug. He held the vial of Phoenix Tear Drops over the journal in the sink and he closed his eyes and he breathed hard, preparing himself for the unexpected.

With a soft flick of the small vial in one hoof, Colour Palette began to allow the substance inside to flick itself onto the journal in the sink, the yellow-orange droplets falling and popping on the surface of the book.

However, nothing happened.

He opened his eyes in shock and Octavia came out from beside her safety position next to the kitchen table to see what was happening. The potion had indeed landed on the journal's cover and soaked into the leather, but nothing appeared to be taking place.

''I-I don't understand!'' Colour said, confused and a little angry. ''Minstrel said that it would work! He told us that it would work! Minstrel lied to us! Minstrel lied to---''

BANG!

There was an explosion in the kitchen sink, a bright, white flash that was followed by a cloud of orange smoke and the sound of sizzling. Smoke began to pool into the kitchen and flood the house within moments as the house was invaded by orange-yellow light, as if somepony had ignited a campfire in the kitchen.

The journal of Stencil Palette and Caravaggio had caught fire and was melting.

The sudden combustion of the journal was so strong and stunning that it knocked both Colour Palette and Octavia off of their hooves and sent them tumbling into the tiled floor with great force.

Unfortunately, in the sudden blast of fire, the vial of highly-flammable Phoenix Tear Drops became airborne and it flew across the room.

The small glass vial flew fast and hit the hardwood floor of the living room, whereupon it shattered into a million pieces, the substance inside spilling out and splattering itself all across the main area of the house.

The eyes of both Octavia and Colour Palette shrank as they watched the vial make contact with the ground and shatter. They knew that this was not going to end well, and, like the journal, it only took a few moments before he floor where the potion had spilled began to bubble and sizzle with searing heat.

The wooden flooring began to melt with intense head as it became molten, glowing bright red and white like the coals burning in a furnace, gradually growing hotter as the wood became so hot that it incinerated and crumbled to ash right before the ponies' very eyes.

It began to smoulder and give off a cloud of soot-filled, blackened smoke, flooding the house within mere moments of melting the floor. The area around the floor had caught fire, too, the flickering orange-yellow flames glowing and burning so brightly that it stung and ached Octavia's and Colour's eyes.

''Octavia!'' Colour Palette called, grasping the grey mare's hoof tightly as he pulled her up to her hooves. ''Are you alright?!'' He asked her, checking her over to make sure that she hadn't hurt herself in the fall or received a burn from the explosion.

''I'm fine!'' She called back, her voice almost inaudible over the roaring flames of the raging fire, of which had quickly built up into an inferno. ''We've got to get out of here! Now!'' She practically scream, feeling the soot in the air begin to bite and sting her lungs relentlessly, prompting her to cough along with Colour as they began to suffocate in the wave of heat.

All of a sudden, there was another explosion as the sink beside them burst and shot metal everywhere, only narrowly missing Octavia and Colour Palette, the razor-sharp shards able to be heard as they zipped past them. They both screamed in terror as they quickly turned back to see what had happened.

The journal had exploded!

The potion that they had taken from Minstrel had completely incinerated and vaporised the journal! All that was left was a flurry of burned pages raining down, the rest of the possessed item rendered to a pile of white-hot ash!

Turning, the two of them pulled each other out of the kitchen and into the living room, both heading for the front door of the house, eager to get out before the flames spread any higher or wider. If they didn't move now, they were certainly going to suffer a gruesome fate.

Everywhere they went, the boiling heat never left them. It was everywhere and it was touching everything, burning hotter than either ponies could have ever anticipated. It didn't take a genius to know that the magical fire would eventually consume the entire residence in less than roughly ten minutes, and that was if they got off lucky.

The entire living room was melting from the searing intense heat, the wooden chairs, music stands, musical instruments, curtains, paint and her prized cello were all engulfed by the inferno.

As she watched her lifelong business partner melt away and crumble on its slow decline into a pile of boiling hot ash, Octavia's eyes welled with tears and her heart felt like it had turned into a crumbling stone, and she called out desperately, ''No!'' While she outstretched one of her hooves towards it.

''Octavia!'' Colour said, grabbing her hoof and pulling her towards him, gripping her by the shoulders as she stared her directly in her terrified, glossy eyes. ''Listen to me! We need to get out of here! You're worth more than your cello! You need to stay strong!'' He told her, giving her a small shake to get his point across.

Octavia whimpered as she witnessed her life disintegrate before her very eyes, sounding like a sad puppy as she whined and reluctantly shook her head.

''Come on!'' Colour made a dash for the front door of the home, but he didn't get far. He felt something shove him back and throw him off of his hooves, ramming him back-first into the floor. Looking up in confusion, he felt his entire body grow numb.

Caravaggio was standing in front of the front door blocking it and standing over both Colour Palette and Octavia with a manic expression.

Caravaggio was nearly the same colour as Colour Palette, only a tad lighter, and his mane was a deep shade of blood red. There was a white stripe highlighting the red in his hair and it swooped down the side of his forehead like an icicle. His eyes glowed like atom-powered emeralds in the burning orange light of the disintegrating house, and he grinned widely, a grin only able to be described as the epitome of evil.

''You!'' Colour said in shock, glaring up to view him with pure hatred. ''You did this! You're the one that started all of this!'' He spat at him angrily, barring his teeth at him venomously.

''It's of no use, Colour,'' Caravaggio said, his voice a rumble. ''There is no escape. It is your destiny, Colour. Join your family,'' He said, offering his hoof up to his great nephew. ''We've been waiting for you,'' He said, that disturbing grin never faltering.

A chunk of the burning ceiling began to crumble and drop into the living room from above, ignited and glowing as it landed beside Caravaggio.

''I'll never join you, Caravaggio! You started all of this! You're nothing but a cold-blooded, crazy-driven murderer! You're the very reason that my uncle is dead! I'm not going to let the same happen to me!'' Colour yelled at him, his eyes now stinging intensely from exposure to soot.

From beside him, Octavia began to cough and hack and sputter, her own lungs burning in protest to the char-filled air. She felt faint and ready to pass out, but her mental alarms were blaring in protest, forcing her to remain awake and aware of what was happening.

''As you wish,'' Caravaggio said before he lunged forward, gliding through the flames and knocking Colour Palette back once again, kicking him to the side, next to where The Periled Mare was resting, hidden by its linen cover. ''You can't fight it, Colour,'' He said, ripping away the linen sheet protecting the painting. ''You were meant to be next, and your fate has been written,'' He spoke with a sinister tongue.

Being in the presence of Caravaggio was like basking in the unholy, dark glow of a tyrant as evil as King Sombra or Lord Tirek, but Octavia thought that they would even be afraid to stand within the same breathing space of the pony. However, this was not the original Caravaggio - it was a sick, twisted and evil rendition of him that remained as a result of the Booster Spell. It had cursed him.

The Periled Mare's features were highlighted more prominently within the crackling flames of the raging inferno inside of the house, and it really did make the red specks in the eyes and mouth of the screaming mare stand out, causing them to glow. The blood-specked eyes and mouth stared into the soul of Colour Palette as they watched him, frozen in that contorted silent scream of pure agony.

''Colour!'' Octavia called to him, sensing the danger as her heart began to flutter wildly within her chest. ''Run! Please! Get out now!'' She pleaded, but her voice went unheard as Caravaggio faced her.

He grinned widely at her and his eyes glowed brightly. As they did, a wall of fire built itself up around Octavia, a flaming ring that contained her like a wild animal caught in a cage. She screamed and jumped back to avoid getting baked to a crisp by the magically-conjured flames.

''Come, Colour! Join us! Join us now!'' Caravaggio demanded, Colour Palette standing motionlessly in front of The Periled Mare as he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from it. ''Join us and make us whole! Give us your soul! Give it to us now!'' He said, his voice disembodied and demonic, slowly transforming into a satanic squeal that reverberated with a blood-curdling fuzz that sounded not of the world of the living. It sounded more like the call of Death waiting in the fiery depths of Tartarus.

''Don't listen to him, Colour! Don't listen!'' Octavia pleaded, trying her best to speak over the roaring fire spreading throughout the house, prompting her to amp her voice up to a holler. ''Don't join him, Colour!'' She continued to reason with him as he remained motionless, lost in a trance.

Colour mumbled something beneath his breath as Caravaggio made the flames around Octavia burn brighter and become more intense. She felt like she was cooking from the inside out, like a lobster that was thrown into a pot of boiling water.

''Caravaggio!'' A voice called, and there was a chill in the air as the fire around Octavia was extinguished by it. ''Caravaggio, stop right there!'' The voice called.

Octavia knew that voice. She had heard it many times before in the past, but...could it be?

''Stencil?'' Octavia asked. ''Stencil Palette? Is that you?'' She asked, and the form of Stencil began to manifest in the vicinity of the living room, just a short distance in front of Octavia.

Stencil Palette glared at Caravaggio as his back was turned to Octavia. He looked exactly as she remembered him, and this time, he didn't look like he was in a complete and utter mess. He appeared exactly as she knew him from the very first meeting she had with him during his enrollment to the Equestria Art Hall of Fame.

''Get away from my nephew,'' Stencil's voice growled angrily, like a dog warning before it lunges for an attack. ''Leave him alone or you'll regret it.''

''Ah, the family is back together!'' Caravaggio said with a laugh as his eyes glowed once again, the fire in the house burning brighter as they did so. ''I see you're looking well!''

''I see that you've let all of that power go to your head,'' Stencil remarked, motioning to the glowing eyes of Caravaggio. ''You look positively dreadful, Caravaggio. It's a pity that such a talent like yours went down the drain in only mere moments. Magic can be one doozy of a drug, can it not?'' He said as he slowly tutted at Caravaggio, enraging him further.

''Enough!'' Caravaggio roared. ''The cycle is almost complete, Stencil! When the blood of Colour Palette is spilled, then the entire bloodline of Palette's will be completed! It will make me unstoppable!''

''W-What does he mean, Stencil?'' Octavia asked, backed up against the wall as she dared not to move an inch on the burning hardwood floor.

''The curse that he brought upon our family,'' Stencil began. ''It means that, the more blood spilled in our name that is introduced to the already-dried blood of a possessed object will only boost the power of the original creator,'' He informed her. ''Colour Palette is the most recent generation to the family, which means that he has to be the next one to carry on the curse,'' He said.

''And when I prevail, I will take charge of all of Equestria!'' Caravaggio proclaimed, but he was too busy to notice that Colour Palette had moved and snagged the painting in the middle of the argument. ''Come back here!'' He screamed as Colour ran behind Stencil and back towards Octavia.

''Destroy the painting!'' Stencil said. ''It's the only remaining possessed artifact in the chain! Destroy it!'' He repeated.

Colour came to a stop beside Octavia and they held the painting behind them protectively. Caravaggio seathed in anger from the act and his eyes began to burn with a sickly green energy, and the room suddenly flared up in temperature and flames.

Fire began to lick the walls and ceiling, conjuring thick plumes of black smoke as it began to weaken the structure of the house as it boiled from the inside out. It raged and it burned angrily, the roaring sounding like screaming as it intensified.

It spread fast and it burned quickly, and it became impossible to tell where the front door was or where the nearest exit was. They were completely surrounded by flames and they had nowhere to run.

The painting was the last item containing that held traces of another pony's life force, and once that was gone, the chain would be broken inevitably. It would be the final straw to draw to end this madness.

''We've got to destroy it!'' Colour said to Octavia while Stencil kept Caravaggio occupied, holding him at bay. ''Octavia, we need to burn it! All of this fire is magical, it came from the vial of Phoenix Tear Drops! All we've got to do is throw it into a flame and it'll all be over!''

''But what if we're too late?'' Octavia said, looking all around, feeling horrid flashbacks to her nightmare flicker before her very eyes like a zoetrope spinning at the speed of light. ''What if we don't make it?'' She asked. Colour clapped her shoulder.

''Don't worry! We will!'' Colour snagged the painting and charged for kitchen of the house, where they were out of sight of Caravaggio and Stencil as they were keeping each other occupied. Colour headed towards the sink with the painting and Octavia, and Colour Palette went for his saddlebags.

''What are you doing?'' Octavia asked, uncertain.

''Trust me!'' Colour said as he feverishly scrambled around in his saddlebag for something. He only took a moment and he pulled it out to present it to Octavia. ''Remember when I told you that Minstrel owed me for an uneven transaction? Well, I took something else, too!''

Held in his hoof, Colour Palette presented Octavia with a second bottle of Phoenix Tear Drops.

''That lying, cheating scumbag has more than a few tricks up his sleeve, and so do I!'' Colour said. ''Octavia, I need you to listen to me if I'm going to do this properly. Can you do that for me?'' He asked, to which Octavia nodded quickly, eager to do anything if it meant they didn't have to be baked alive.

''Anything! What is it?''

''I need you to run as fast as you can for the front door when I burn this painting, alright? Get out and save yourself. There's no reason that you should have to die like this,'' He told her. ''It's me Caravaggio wants.''

''B-But! No!'' Octavia stammered, stunned by what he was asking of her. ''I can't do that! I couldn't possibly ask for you to--Mmm!''

Colour Palette planted a firm peck to Octavia's lips and she squirmed in shock. It wasn't a long moment, but it made her face flush brighter than a wad of burning candyfloss. He was blushing, too, but it might have just been the heat surrounding them.

''Go. Get out of here, Octavia,'' Colour ordered her, planting his saddlebags on her back before he took the vial along with him and the painting while Octavia's mind was rolling in complete shock and amazement.

Octavia nodded and ran towards the living room where Stencil was busy holding Caravaggio at bay with the walls of fire, keeping him cornered. Colour Palette re-entered the living room with the vial in his hoof and he held it up before he popped the cork.

''Hey, Caravaggio!'' Colour called. Both Stencil and Caravaggio paused to glance in his direction. ''Look what I've got,'' He said, giving the potion in his hoof a small shake before he raised it over the painting, a grin forming on his lips.

''No! No! That's impossible!'' Caravaggio said with dread, his eyes dimming as he realised what was about to happen.

Colour turned his head around to see Octavia's stunned, scared face and her eyes met his, the last time that they would ever cross paths and gaze upon one another, and Colour said one last thing before he dumped the entire contents of the Phoenix Tear Drops on The Periled Mare.

''Goodbye, Octavia,'' He spoke softly.

Octavia made a dive for the door as she heard Caravaggio scream in terror as he began to burn bright and glow like a beacon of energy. As she vaulted through the intense heat of the flames blocking off the front door of the house, she heard an ear-piercing scream penetrate the skies, a disembodied, squealing and screeching, agonised howl of pain as a bright white light became blindingly bright.

Thankfully, Octavia had dived into the safety of the streets of Ponyville outside of her home as the house began to fall in on itself, the Phoenix Tear Drops having caused yet another explosion of heat and fire-fueled magical energy that gave the last nudge to the now-unstable house.

It began to crumble and cave in, fire spitting out of the roof and windows as pockets of dark, acrid smoke pooled into the air and smothered the night sky above Ponyville. The house was gone in a matter of minutes as Octavia watched it crumble to pieces, like a tower of Jenga blocks clattering down in a titanic crash. The sound was so enormous that the shock wave it caused rumbled through the ground and shook the nearby homes around Ponyville.

The fire and the long, dragging plumes of thick black smoke were likely to be visible from Canterlot.

Octavia couldn't do much more than stand idly by and watch in horror as her life and her home burned to the ground in the most literal sense of the word. It crumbled and it tumbled, crashing down and breaking itself down from the inside to the outside. Right now, it was a pile of ashes.

The nightmare was over. The last piece to the curse was destroyed at the cost of a dear friend.

Caravaggio, Stencil Palette and now Colour Palette had all fallen victim to The Booster Spell Curse. A more fitting title, The Palette Family Curse.

The chain was broken.

Sorrow washed over the sophisticated mare as she collapsed onto her knees in the middle of the street, struck by grief and terrible sadness. All that floated around in her mind was the sacrifice that Colour Palette had given her. He had saved her life at the cost of his own, a noble gesture that had both touched and distraught the mare.

On her back, she allowed his saddlebags that he had planted on her to slide down and land on the floor beside her in a heap. She gazed at it for a moment and she suddenly felt an instinct to pull open one of the flaps to see what was inside, perhaps a keepsake of his memory.

When Octavia undid the clasp and flipped open the lid to one of the saddlebags, she was surprised when she pulled out something large and heavy. She rested it on her lap and she stared at it in wonder, feeling her eyes well up.

It was A Heart in Your Hoof by Merry Rosingberry, the very book that he had nabbed for her from Minstrel's shop in Canterlot.

She didn't speak a single word as she gazed down at it, touching its smooth, dragon leather surface, her hoof caressing the fire ruby heart in the hoof of the pony. It made her wonder, ''What if?''.

Suddenly, there was a chill in the air as a voice carried by in the wind, brushing up against Octavia's ear like the tickle of a feather.

''Thank you,'' The ghostly whisper of Stencil Palette's voice spoke to her.

Octavia sighed shakily and she looked up to peer at the stars above. Somehow, as she watched them flicker and shine brightly hundreds of thousands of miles up above, she liked to think that one of them belonged to Colour Palette.

''Whoa!'' A familiar voice exclaimed from beside her.

Turning to face the owner with a blink, Octavia's face became blank when she saw that it was none other than Vinyl Scratch, back from her Equestrian tour. She stared at Octavia with wide, shocked and surprised eyes as she glanced between her and the still-burning wreck of the house that they once shared.

''Octy, I leave for a month and the house is a burning pile of mush?! What did I miss?'' She asked. Octavia gave a left-sided smile and chuckled a little before saying,

''Vinyl, you would not believe the month I've had.''

Comments

[ALittleUnwell]

I don't think the ending is so bad. What was it that you originally had in mind?

[Ribe_FireRain]

9620596
Something that didn't seem like a cliché. I didn't want it to be like every other horror film out there or to sound unrealistic and robotic. Another thing that bothers me is that I can't stand the idea of doing something that's already been done. I tried to be original as possible with this one, sticking to the only guideline of the facts that gave birth to this idea, The Anguished Man.

I did the best that I could, wrote it as well as I could, checked it over and over, but I still had nagging doubt in my mind telling me not to publish it. Sometimes, I worry the actions and dialogue between Colour Palette and Octavia are almost animated and lacking depth that gives them that relatability to the reader, if that makes sense. I wanted actions in the story to be powerful and moving, enough to satisfy me that I did well with this story.

I just didn't want another fairy tale ending that was as clichéd as it was ridiculously predictable. That's what I do with everything - be as original and as realistic as possible so that it's believable and not clunky and bores the reader into stopping halfway through a paragraph, able to tell where it's going.

It would ease me if I was convinced my doubts are unfounded and that the story actually worked out well in the end. I suppose only the readers can clarify that one for me, can't they?

[ALittleUnwell]

9621364
Hmmmm. My standards for writing on Fimfiction aren't as high as they would be for a published work, but I can't think of a better way to do the ending, at least without changing the outcome and tone completely. If you wanted a happy ending, I'd say you did pretty well with it.

I did kind of wonder why Octavia never thought to get one of the Princesses involved, but not having the usual suspects show up made the story more interesting. It also gave you time to develop Colour Pallete, who I thought was done well. Considering that Octavia was portrayed as a dignified, more formal character, she and Colour played off each other well.

I'm sure others would be able to offer a better critique, but for how your own comments made it sound, I was happy with the story overall.

[Divan1229]

Is it me or the cover style is pretty similar to Lil’ miss jay?