• Member Since 15th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

Comma Typer


Horse-words writer believing in the Savior and Lord Jesus Christ, creatively crafting stories in imitation of a creatively crafting God. Consider this: Are you sure you're going to Heaven?

Sequels2

E
Source

This story is a sequel to Magical Curiosity


After a serious magic mishap with the portal, the dimension of Sunset Shimmer and her friends has been rocked to its very core with everyone suddenly a pony, a zebra, a griffon, or some other magical creature from magical Equestria.

Not to mention that this reality's gone magical as well, if the sun revolving around the Earth did not make that obvious enough.

With this irreversible change, everyone's stumbling along in the quest to regain a semblance of normal life, but how can they do that in strange bodies and with strange magic? How will they tackle all the old with all the new?

Find out in this not-so-chronological collection of short stories exploring the day-to-day journey this world's taking.

Chapters (19)
Comments ( 191 )

As I said, the wheel turns on. We may have hit a few nasty potholes, but things seem to be going in the right direction.

Magic is natural now, AJ. You may not like it, but such is the state of the universe.

Ri2

9131533
It wouldn't be AJ if she weren't stubborn, hypocritical, and resistant to any change or deviation to the point of exasperation.

Nifty. Interesting to see Wallflower, of all people, in the lead in regards to adaptation. And that depiction of her house is just plain fun to think about.
cdna.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/009/761/242/large/sophie-hei-419k.jpg

Botano-alchemist Wallflower is a very good Wallflower indeed... though that book on love-inducing cypresses has me concerned for whoever she has her eye on. Still, great to see earth pony magic in action. If only they could've thought of a better name for the store...

Also, Discord doesn't seem like an entirely terrible solution. Purging magic with magic won't work, but he could always restore people's fingers. Granted, chaos-induced mutation might not end well... :sweetieunsure:

And Sunset has a "how to magic" vlog, because some things are consistent between universes. :raritywink:

Lovely stuff in this entry.

Wallflower the alchemist? Neat. So does that make Rose ... 😎 the sorcerer's apprentice?

When you say "Princess Luna", is that the Equestrian one or the former human?

Ri2

9138146
So long as she avoids enchanting broomsticks she should be fine.

And I think it's No-Longer-Vice-Principal Luna.

A script might have been a good idea. For Sunset and Twilight's sections, anyway. I can't imagine Pinkie would stick to it for long, and Dash works better with either improvisation or physical performance.

Still, this should help people around the world... at least when it gets translated. It'll likely be remembered as one of the cornerstones of civilization's recovery.

>all the people holed up and hiding in bugout shelters or otherwise
THAT'S gonna be a fun mess to clean up. Pulling panicked paranoid postpeople out of bunkers...

Wait... Aren't the gemstones an integral part of the Sirens' Equestrian forms? Wouldn't the removal of a siren's heartstone necessitate some form of magically aided surgery, somewhat like removing an organ?

Huh, I was under the impression that Sirens were emotivores, along with changelings and Windigos. While I wouldn't be surprised to see them learn to live off of something other than strife, mere physical sustenance won't cut it anymore. They should try adulation, I've heard that tastes lovely.

9145274

I'm hedging my bets on that one. Even if the sirens were born with them, it doesn't mean it sticks straight to their bodies. Seeing their gems become mere necklaces in the human world convinced me that they're removable. Very important, but removable and sort of not part of their biology.

But, if you have evidence of the contrary, feel free to correct me! :twilightsheepish:

9146478
No real evidence, just a hodgepodge of headcanons borrowed from various authors and what I've picked up from my sister's knowledge of neuroscience. Still, the question remains: can the Dazzlings replenish their magic without feeding on negativity? Can their bodies convert food into mana, or will they eventually die of magic deprivation?

9146512
Well, judging by how the sirens fared after the Battle of the Bands in this fic, they'll probably live with regular food. Also, the sirens might actually find a better source of sustenance through positive use of emotions (like with the changelings' reformation or, for a non MLP example, Monsters' Inc.'s ending).

It's definitely not clear just what the relationship is between siren and stone. They are physically attached to the hippocampi. Still, if they can make this work, more power to them.

Very sweet chapter. Almost made me cry.

That dream was horrifying, mortals are not meant for immortality, the weight of it bends and breaks the mind. Luckily, unlike the princess, Tia will have someone to walk with her. Quite a few people in fact, if alicorns keep popping up like they have been...

Very sweet and well-put. A significant step up from much of the prequel. It's impressive how much you've grown as a writer over the course of this series. Reminds me of a well-known quote from The Lord of the Rings.

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." - Gandalf the Grey

Definitely one of the best handlings of the immortality blues I've seen. (Though someone really needs to give ex-human Luna some speech therapy. Possibly her counterpart. This is getting ridiculous.)

Maybe a good thing they didn't invite Maud to do the demonstration. Her lecture is probably on par with Professor Binns.

Three sirens depicted, Adagio and Aria smudging the sign with their glowers while Sonata sweetened it with a happy grin. On it were the words, The Sirens! Only at the amphitheater 8 PM tonight! With Trixie and the Illusions as opening act!

Sometimes, you just have to change yourself to change the whole world.
Well, good to know at least one person, Trixie, took this pony thing better than others.

This is a very good chapter.

Ri2

Wait, so...have all the dogs in the world turned into dragons?

Because having the sun owned and moved around by your principal wasn’t ordinary.

Precisely. It wasn't ordinary, emphasis on the last tense. Times change, Flash, and you have to change with them.

In any case, good to see Pinkie help get Dash past her self-envy. It can't be easy seeing yourself be the best without actually being there to enjoy it.

Wow. I think that might be the most elaborate prank I've seen from Pinkie and Dashie. Well played.

All's well that ends well, and I'd say this ended pretty well.

As to ponies on motorcycles, gotta go fast!
orig00.deviantart.net/2502/f/2012/187/3/7/3711d5530f6265b18a4b8bdb4d55dec5-d56927c.png

Now there's something Rainbow's never done!

So here's a question just in general. What the heck happens to the rest of the planets when our solar system switched to a geocentric model? Cause I'm sure a lot of scientists are upset their research is basically useless now, and I want to know if the space program is dead because Mars got launched into extra-solar space when the sun suddenly moved

Rainbow shuddered, slowly backing away from the pie—surely a nefarious device of evil. “B-But, a-aren’t you m-me? Y-You’re not supposed to like pie! I’m n-not supposed to like pie!”

You don't like pie? Guess I won't invite you to dinner for Granny Smith's pie then? :ajbemused:

What about Heat Season or how to deliver a foal(s)?

Does that mean Sci-Twi's Spike is a dragon too?

I can now imagine the whole new type of cook books on the shelves.

Just to start off, I'm Italian, so probably half of my English in not that good.

Said that...

Hi! Sono Dante Vail. E adoro gli slice of life di questo genere.

So... This story is good. The prequel was too (even though being very unfocused at time and having entire arch that went nowhere), but still it succeeded in showing non magical beeing intercating with magic.
And I love it.
I can live of nothing than that.
Ok, probably not, i still crave for weapons and fights, but that's secondary...

It was constracted in a good way, that could be possible (although a society that get transformed into magical beeings in a day will collapse. Being it by infrastractural collapse or mare caos and anarchy [also, i can only imagine how many people died in car accidents, or plane accidents...]), but still possible if not overanalized (and I tend toi overanalize).
I love watching people that creates their own rules on magic and implement them in their story.

In the end, a good premise and a good execution. Some hiccups during the process (you don't need a vegeterian pizza. Common Pizza is already vegetarian. The Margherita is made with tomatoes sauce, mozzarella [who i don't know how it's called in English...], fresh basill, salt, and oil. It's completly vegetarian. And there are tons of pizzas that are vegeterian by nature [4 formaggi; marinara; ortolana; funghi; pomodoro e rucola; bufala; and a lot more italian pizza that probably do not exist in America... but stay shure that they exist. I'm Italian, we created the pizza. It's our work. Also, what's the problem with Peperonis? They are also completly veget... oh... Pepperonis in America is a type of salami... well that's interesting, how do you say Peperoni then? Bell peppers... because calling them with their name was too complicated... I shouldn't be surprised, you use feets instead of meters, miles per hour instead of kilomiters per hour, and fahrenheit instead of celsius I should have expected that [pepperoni è un tipo di salame... devo ricordarmelo la prossima volta che vado in America... magari potrei spiegar loro qualcosa...].
Also, Yona is a yak, she is an herbivorous too.)
But this are secondary, and probably only noticed by me, who still overanalize everything I came in contact with...

I follow the series because I like it. I love this little slice of life, and they are very well written. I crave for more.
I want to see how everything work. The army, the factories, I wanna know how they reproduce themself (ok, probably not... I'm shure that if I search on the INternet I will find something... yup, there it is...), I wanna know everything.
So give me more. I will do my best to overanalize it and find the little things that nobody noticed, while also shearing my knoledge and colture.

But in the end... ci si vede al prossimo capitolo.

O nella risposta a questo commento... Si chiamano commenti o recensioni su questo sito? Dovrò controllare...

9160744
Hello! I don't know if I've ever met an Italian here before, but it's good all the same. And, well, if you think your English isn't good enough, just keep practicing! Nothing beats talking in English if you want to get the hang of it. :pinkiesmile:

Besides, for the Italian parts of your comment (yes, it's called comments here, though you can make a review in a comment, too), I've went to trusty Google Translate. :twilightsmile:

As for this slice-of-life fic: I like slice-of-life, too. Yeah, I may have overlooked some stuff (with herbivorous yaks being an atrocious oversight now that I think about it), but I try. It's fun to do worldbuilding in general, even when I'm subconsciously doing it.

Also, don't be afraid to overanalyze! It's the little details that add up to a believable story. You clearly know a lot of things I don't know about (like yaks being herbivores).

Well, see you in the next chapter, too! Hope I don't disappoint! :twilightblush:

9160744

Mozzarella is the same in English as it is in Italian (I assume, the difference between pepperoni is making me wonder).

There were some minor errors, but for the most part you were understandable and you did good. If you want me to point out specific errors so you know what to look for in the future, just say so (I don't want to overwhelm you before you're ready for it).

9160914

There were some minor errors, but for the most part you were understandable and you did good. If you want me to point out specific errors so you know what to look for in the future, just say so (I don't want to overwhelm you before you're ready for it).

Go for it! Better I learn it now than to regret it later. :twilightsheepish:

9160861
Well, there is a first time for everything.

AH! So they are called comments. And people told me that wandering around in three fan fiction site will have become confusing. But there I am on Wattpad recognising things. Wait... is this Wattpad...?

WORLDBUILDING! That was the word I was searching for. I love worldbuilding stories.

Trust me, after a while knowing me, everyone notice that my expertise are principally in weapons, history, pony, and memes. I do so like memes...

Oh believe me, it's difficult to disappoint me. I've got very low standards for pretty much everything (I read on Wattpad...), besides, considering the past chapters, it's difficult tha we reach a drop in quality so impressive to disappoint me.

9160921
9160744

Just to start off, I'm Italian, so probably half of my English in not that good.

Probably a typo, these things happen, but by context I'd expect that would be 'is'.

Said that

The common phrase here is 'That said', you were really close.

The prequel was too (even though being very unfocused at time and having an entire arch that went nowhere), but still it succeeded in showing non magical beeing intercating with magic.

Alright, I used yellow for things that, while technically correct as far as I know, could be replaced to make it flow better. Things like the first being, which could be replaced by 'it was'. Time could be replaced by 'times' or adjusted by adding in 'one' depending on meaning.

Words in orange are things I would add in. In this case it's 'an'. The rule for this is fairly easy, it's an if the next word starts with a vowel (a,e,i,o,u) and a otherwise.

Red was used to mark things that I know are incorrect. Having is present tense, while you're writing In past tense (using words like was). Had is the correct form of the word. The second being has an extra 'e'. Interacting has the 'a' and 'c' switched.

In example: "The sequel was too (even though it was very focused at times\one time and had an entire arch that went nowhere), but it still succeeded in showing non magical beings interacting with magic." When reading the section with the slash (\), read one side completely in the sentence, then the other. I did that so you could see the effect of both corrections, and it is not necessarily standard writing.

I can live of nothing than that.
Ok, probably not, i still crave for weapons and fights, but that's secondary...

I'm actually not sure what you meant by the first part. I think you meant 'I could live off nothing but that'. Also 'I' is a name or title (proper noun), and should always be capitalized.

It was constracted in a good way, that could be possible (although a society that get transformed into magical beeings in a day will collapse. Being it by infrastractural collapse or mare caos and anarchy [also, i can only imagine how many people died in car accidents, or plane accidents...]), but still possible if not overanalized (and I tend toi overanalize).
I love watching people that creates their own rules on magic and implement them in their story.

Mostly all spelling errors here: Constructed for the first word; gets is generally preferred for the second; the third has that extra 'e' again; infrastructural; mare is a word, but is an adult female horse or pony, where mere is what you meant here; chaos; overanalyzed; to overanalyze; creates is third person and should be create.

In the end, a good premise and a good execution. Some hiccups during the process (you don't need a vegeterian pizza. Common Pizza is already vegetarian. The Margherita is made with tomatoes sauce, mozzarella [who i don't know how it's called in English...], fresh basill, salt, and oil. It's completly vegetarian. And there are tons of pizzas that are vegeterian by nature [4 formaggi; marinara; ortolana; funghi; pomodoro e rucola; bufala; and a lot more italian pizza that probably do not exist in America... but stay shure that they exist. I'm Italian, we created the pizza. It's our work. Also, what's the problem with Peperonis? They are also completly veget... oh... Pepperonis in America is a type of salami... well that's interesting, how do you say Peperoni then? Bell peppers... because calling them with their name was too complicated... I shouldn't be surprised, you use feets instead of meters, miles per hour instead of kilomiters per hour, and fahrenheit instead of celsius I should have expected that [pepperoni è un tipo di salame... devo ricordarmelo la prossima volta che vado in America... magari potrei spiegar loro qualcosa...].
Also, Yona is a yak, she is an herbivorous too.)
But this are secondary, and probably only noticed by me, who still overanalize everything I came in contact with...

Mostly spelling errors, and some things I think may just be a difference between English and Italian: Vegetarian; Here it's margarita; Here it's commonly tomato, though there are some places that use tomatoe. Also plural on tomatoe that you didn't really need; basil; completely, missing 'e'; vegetarian; sure, you don't need that h; At least here pepperoni is used as it's own plural, also one p; completely; Pepperoni is plural here, but has two 'p's, which is interesting; back to one p; feet is it's own plural, like pepperoni; kilometers; overanalyze.

I follow the series because I like it. I love this little slice of life, and they are very well written. I crave for more.
I want to see how everything work. The army, the factories, I wanna know how they reproduce themself (ok, probably not... I'm shure that if I search on the INternet I will find something... yup, there it is...), I wanna know everything.
So give me more. I will do my best to overanalize it and find the little things that nobody noticed, while also shearing my knoledge and colture.

Last round of edits, mostly spelling errors again, and stuff we've seen before: Work would be better as works; sure, you have an extra h again; Internet doesn't need a capital n; overanalyze; knowledge; culture.

9161008

WORLDBUILDING! That was the word I was searching for. I love worldbuilding stories.

Me, too. :twilightsmile:

I'm surprised Wattpad is still a thing, to be honest. Where I'm from, Wattpad's pretty much on life support when it comes to quality writing. Sure, there's still lots of people on it, but...much of the content gets an Eh from me at best. If there's one positive thing coming out of it, though, it's this: It's a platform where anyone can write. Aspiring writers have to take a first step, and that first step will always be a wobbly one (hence the typical Wattpad fic). However, that first step could then stretch to another, and then another, until the writer becomes competent enough to write something decent like the fics you see on this site.

Oh believe me, it's difficult to disappoint me. I've got very low standards for pretty much everything (I read on Wattpad...), besides, considering the past chapters, it's difficult tha we reach a drop in quality so impressive to disappoint me.

At least you're optimistic about my writing. I'm rather negative about it, often putting thumbs up on the constructively critical comments because I know that, nine times out of ten, they're right and I need to improve. However, I also need to loosen up a little and see some more value in my own words.

Anyway, thanks for joining the ride! :pinkiesmile:

9159470
Assuming you've read Magical Curiosity because I'm losing track on who's commented there: He's been a dragon ever since he and Sci-Twi crossed back to Earth.

As for your other questions...well, this is an E-rated fic, so I'll just stay mum about them. :twilightsheepish:

9161028
Wait, what?! I thought you were talking about the errors in my latest chapter! Agh! Classic me, thinking that something's for me when it isn't. :facehoof:

I'm really sorry for this. :fluttershysad:

9160914
The more you know...

Yeah, re-reading my comment after some time i've noticed a lot of typos, it's impressivly common, considering that my comment box is probably setted in Italian following my settings of Google. It's fine, I do so love writing comments in wich every single word is underlined in red. IT DOESN'T GIVE ME ANY PROBLEM AT ALL:pinkiecrazy:!

Yeah, shure, if you have time and wish go on. I will not get mad for making errors in a language that pretty much I've learned via you tube meme videos...

Probably after noticing my errors i will coil up in a corner with a bottle of booze and my own desperetion, but that it's fine (IT'S NOT FINE!:raritycry:).

Also, I'm pretty shure to have butchered a lot of verbal times (are they called like that? I'm not shure). But it is not my fault if English is created with hundreds of rules that have so many exceptions, that the exceptions could be the rules... I can swear that Italian is simpler... up until you learn that every region of Italy talks it so dialectly that seems another language... but that is secondary.

P.s.
Uh... are those pony emoji I see there? Uuuuuh... my comments can now get even more expressive...

9161035
Don't be so hard on yourself! English is not the easiest of languages, but I know that you can do it with enough hard work and effort. :raritywink:

Also, if you need one place to gather up all the rules you need in conversational English, here: The Farlex Grammar Book. Yeah, it's also in English, but since you have a decent grasp on the language, I'm sure you can utilize those lessons to your best! :pinkiesmile:

9161035
For learning English through meme videos, you're doing really well, no need to get a bottle of booze. Also it wasn't every word, I don't think it was even half of them. Most of the mistakes were repeated, like sure, which shouldn't have an h. Overanalyze was another one, as it's spelled with a y rather than the i you were using.

9161028
And there I can see all of my typos... there are more than I've expected...:ajbemused:

Nope. Margherita is Marherita. Margarita it's a cocktail, while Margherita it's the most common type of Pizza (at least in Italy...), and also a type of flower (The Daisy). I'm shure of this one because it's the only one involving my language...

The thing with the "P" was that, while Pepperoni in English is a type of Salami, to an Italian is very similar to Peperoni which are the Bell Peppers in English. It's a common joke throug Italians that know English and Italians that don't, and end up saying: "Why did they put bell peppers on the pizza?".

And as I expected, a lot of this were errors caused by me who still writes things as they are pronuncieted and not as how they are written. Constructed with an A... I sometimes question my own capabilities:facehoof:.

Anyway... Thanks. Now I will probably do the same errors the next time I write a comment. It's not your fault. I have a very bad memory when it comes to this things...

I know, it's funny. I remember the difference between an HE shell and an APFSDS shell, but writing things right it's too complicated for me.

9161076
Just think of it as motivation to get better! If you don't like your level of English now, then strive to improve it.

And, as for forgetfulness: You're not alone! I myself am OK with technical paper but I'm bad at recognizing faces and names in real life if I haven't seen them in two weeks. :twilightsheepish:

Late edit: Anyway, I'm sorry for letting that happen. I hope you don't feel bad over this.

Even though I felt the ending to Magical Curiosity was that story's weakest element, since it simply felt like too much of a downer, actually seeing that concept be followed through like this is actually quite interesting, and I think taking the 'short story' approach is the best one you could've taken for this. Not everything so far has proven fantastic or anything, but a lot of is engaging in just seeing how they may be able to adapt to their world being thrown completely outside down. My favorite chapter so far is definitely the third one, just in seeing Sunset and others being determined to help the entire planet in adapting.

Keep up the good work.

9161070

More errors than you expected, but all of them minor. You're fine. I didn't correct them to make you feel bad. I did it entirely because I want to see you improve. Nobody can improve if they are never told where they made mistakes. The trick is to do it constructively, which I hope is the way you took it.

Peperoni is the Italian term for bell pepper? Now I have some interesting trivia for customers at my job as a grocery store cashier...

I have a bad memory sometimes, too. I've worked there four years now, and only know a handful of customers' names.

Talking about shells, do you work in tech? I'm a bit of a geek myself. I always love to learn something new.

9161087

It's not entirely your fault, I learned a lesson too: Always double check who responded to you before assuming.

Hey, are they gonna have to worry about some mental patient suddenly developing reality-altering powers?

“Yona stick by you thick and thin!” Yona declared, putting a hoof on the ground although she was careful not to smash the floor with it.

"Ocellus not have it so bad. Yona president of Debate Club, now sound like angry Saddle Rager. Sometimes just say 'yak' and not name. Yona miss first-person pronouns."

Really not sure how to feel about that much seafood on a pizza. And duck? Duck could work, but I've never had it. And it's not like vegetarian meat substitutes are a discipline in its infancy. They can make anything out of soybeans these days.

Still, wonderfully heartwarming chapter. And Zephyr failing to woo Dash always makes for good comic relief, though it was rather clumsily integrated. ("Okay, Student Six feels, nice stuff... Zephyr? What are you doing here?")

Login or register to comment