A.K. Yearling and the Derring-Do
If someone’s careless enough, they’re bound to leave something behind: a wallet at a restaurant, a phone at a school, an airplane ticket under the mattress.
What about when humanity leaves something behind all at once?
Two weeks after the magical disaster, Princess Twilight Sparkle had brought Starlight Glimmer along to meet a changed Professor Fossil, all visiting a museum.
The Canterlot National History Museum was heralded in silence for the most part, letting the artifacts and the sculptures and the trinkets speak for themselves. Dinosaur fossils, miniature reconstructions, millennia-old pots and vases, black-and-white photos, aging acrylic paintings—the list went on. These were accompanied with the usual warning plates: Don’t touch and Don’t take pictures. Tending to these precious relics were pony guards in armor standing at strategic locations in the museum; several pegasi were flying their patrol routes.
The visitors sat at the only table in the section as a pair of pegasus guards flew by. It all smelled a mixture of fragrances, jazzing up the luxurious silence observed here under dim lights.
“...and you and your team’s tasked with preserving human history here?” Sparkle said. She had eyed the Renaissance-era paintings on the wall, seeing realistic vistas of rivers, mountains, and oceans under a blue sky. “I’m impressed! You must be honored to have such a distinction.”
Fossil, a gray Earth pony growing lean out of age, adjusted her glasses. In a posh voice that sounded like it belonged to a museum, she replied, “It’s not much work. We already have places like this and the libraries, too.” Putting a hoof to her hollow cheekbone, “I would like to take pride in it, but we are only continuing our job as we should be." Her ears folding back, "It’s overrated now. ”
“I don’t think it’s overrated,” Starlight countered, as if she had a bold conviction, making a rousing speech. “You’re safeguarding the human era. Without ponies like you, everyone would just forget their past," gesturing towards the preserved instruments section filled with violins and guitars saved from extinction. "It’ll be like they’ve been ponies all along!”
Fossil nodded, taking in that devoted sentiment. “Yes, yes.” Scratching her green mane, “Still, archaeology has grown passive since all our fine equipment has been rendered unusable for at least a month.” A pause, sharpening her eyebrows in jealousy, glancing a little to the side. “I envy the unicorns and the pegasi among us. They aren’t limited by these fingerless dead ends,” as she whirled her forehoof around.
“Did you watch Sunset’s video on it?” asked Sparkle, levitating one of her backup phones from her bag on the table.
“A million times.” Then, the professor signaled her to stop taking the phone and put it back inside. “I can hold items like cups and boxes, but it’s not enough to perform delicate operations. It'd be hard to use measuring tape or brush off dust without breaking the object.”
Starlight aimed her eyes up, thinking through what the professor had said. “Good point."
Sparkle cleared her throat, bringing both pairs of eyes back on her. “Have you tried asking our Professor Fossil for an extra archaeological kit?" the princess offered. "She’s pretty kind!”
Fossil groaned. “I have to talk to myself in order to get by, hm?”
“Eh!" Sparkle raised one shoulder with no stress. "It won’t hurt!”
Then, wingflaps as Derpy hovered inside, a bag of mail slung around her torso as she approached the table.
Everyone watched her as Derpy reached them, took out a letter from her bag, and whispered to the princess's ear, “For you, Your Highness!”
“Why, thanks!” Sparkle said with a smile, taking the letter with her hoof and ripping the envelope open.
Derpy waved as she flew out. “See ya’ soon!”
And she was out of sight.
Fossil and Starlight were quiet as the princess read the letter.
Sparkle mumbled the words, eyes straining a bit under the museum’s dark lights. In her mind, she was locked a bitter fight against doctors, choosing to block out their advice to read under good lighting.
The fight didn't last long before she forced the letter back into the envelope, and chanted “It’s her! It’s her!” while yanking Starlight along as she zoomed away with the paper.
“Wait!” Fossil cried out, galloping out of her chair. “What about—”
It was too late. She was alone in the museum.
Not really since there were some guards, but she felt alone.
She smacked herself on the head. “You silly ponies!”
Fossil even shook a balled up hoof at her absent enemies.
At the Castle of Friendship, Twilight was pacing around on the floor, Starlight sitting on a chair.
The interrogation room was austere in its appearance and atmosphere. One table, a couple of chairs, and a fridge full of bottled water and snacks, all under one light glowing from inside a translucent crystal—hese gave off a drab feeling, though a small portrait of the Princess Sisters softened the mood.
Or made it worse, if the interrogated was a criminal.
“What about you spill the beans, Twilight?” Starlight asked, ears flaying at those constant shuffling hoofsteps. “Who’s coming?”
Sparkle spun around to face her with a, ahem, sparkly smile. “You know how excited I am!”
Starlight tilted her head a bit, both surprised and confused. “I…don’t?”
The eager princess bit her lip, froze her hooves on the ground, and dropped herself on another chair, sipping in some water to gargle before swallowing. “I know I’m not supposed to be so excited because she's a victim of the change, and it’s not exactly the same pony, but...eee! It’s—”
The door eee’d open in a creak.
Sparkle and Starlight turned to see their much-anticipated guest.
A cowled, shrouded figure. Head lowered to hide her face in shadow.
Sparkle clapped her hooves in rapid succession, jumping like a giddy filly. “Eee!”
Had her ear pulled by Starlight who shouted in a whisper, “Keep it together!”
So Twilight giggled, cleared her throat, turned to the figure and closed her eyes so as to effect a regal air. “You have come to the right place, A.K. Yearling!”
The stranger heaved a sigh of relief and closed the door with her hindleg. She then lifted the cowl from her head, revealing her coat of light gold and her mane of grayscale rainbow. She had some glasses on along with her pith helmet and thin scavenger's shirt.
“I have to admit,” Starlight began, placing a hoof on her chin and examining her looks, “you’re a dead ringer for our A.K. Yearling.”
The visitor shook her head, taking off her hat. “That’s because I am A.K. Yearling!”
Sparkle then moved to the side, doing damage control already. “Well, why don’t you take a seat?”
“Thanks, but I’ve already slept,” Yearling said, rubbing her eyes behind her glasses.
The princess looked at her odd. "But I didn't ask if you wanted to use a bed."
"I've been sleeping on things worse than chairs lately," Yearling said. "I consider them a second-rate bed nowadays."
“OK..." and Sparkle kept looking at her.
Awkwardness settling in, each pony looking at another.
It was Sparkle who broke the silence: "So, what’s the reason for this super-duper important and super-duper secret meeting?”
“It’s not supposed to be ‘super-duper’ secret,” Yearling said, her voice getting gruffer. “The truth will come out no matter what I do,” and, despite her words seconds ago, she slumped down on a chair, resting a forehoof on the table. “Can’t believe I’m doing this, but I’m…” suffering, struggling to push the words out of her throat.
And changed course, showing a smile. "But first, what if I told you that I'd just returned to civilization?"
Both Equestrians yelped, “What?!” almost falling off their chairs.
The writer's smile turned crooked, clasping her forehooves like an evil mastermind. “Exactly. Now I got you hooked.” She placed a hoof behind the back of her chair, straightening up her posture. “Always start with an arresting first sentence.”
Yearling was right. The princess and her former student took up chairs and gathered around her, ignoring the poor table left alone.
“Let me confess something upfront," and Yearling pulled her chair up, closer and closer to them.
They were now huddled up in a tight circle. The door was locked, there were no windows, and the crystal walls were thick, but her parnoia didn't abate.
"I’m not just an author...and before you two say anything about it” eyeing the both of them with a glare, forehoof arched on a knee, “I know what you’re thinking. You’re probably thinking I actually do unexplainable exploits, avoiding death traps and stealing treasure from magical temples.”
"Because you have Ogres & Oubliettes for that?" Starlight asked, smirking.
Yearling chuckled. She pointed at that smug unicorn. “I like your attitude! What’s your name again?”
“Starlight Glimmer,” she disclosed, narrowing her eyes down. “You can come visit anytime and we can hold a game night of O&O. Oh, and we can invite both Twilights just to make your mind spin!”
Sparkle merely giggled, checking herself from gushing out in joy. Instead, she maintained that regal air and said, "If our schedules make it easy, that is!"
"Yeah," Yearling sitting up on her seat. "A game night some time, yes...now, where was I?"
Getting back to where she left off: Oh, right. My secret.” She put her hat back on, indifferent towards the heat she’d brought upon herself. “It isn’t much. I’m....”
Both ponies leaned in, unwilling to let any word slip away from their ears.
"...an archaeologist."
Yearling spread her forehooves, the secret now out. “There. That’s it.”
Both listeners blinked, astonished by how mundane the mystery was.
“Uh, why is that a bad thing?” Starlight then asked, shaking off the above astonishment.
“I could say the same thing myself,” Yearling said, briefly scolding herself. “There’s a part of me that’s embarrassed to admit it. Maybe I liked seeing ponies think of me as some writer with a couple archaeologists as fact-checkers. I was also teased back in middle school for liking ‘dead stuff’,” and snorted like a horse, “so you have that.”
“Which means your stories are based off your archaeological digs?” Sparkle asked right after, leaning her head ever mroe forward to listen better.
“Yes,” was the blunt reply. “They're embellished to become gripping adventures. Take away the traps and the villains, change the names of the characters, tweak the treasures—viola! You have a barebones narration of my latest archaeological finding.” Took a pause to breathe, not minding curious Sparkle as the princess rubbed her forehooves in waiting. “The real ‘stories’ get published to an historical institute for the record books. The artifacts go to different museums under their real names. I publish the novels, people gobble them up for its complexity and relatability. Everyone's happy—the end.”
Yearling sat there self-satisfied, taking her hat off again.
“That still doesn’t explain returning to civilization and what not,” Starlight pointed out.
Yearling shook her head, her smile only growing. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Then again, look who’s talking.” She pointed hooves at the both of them. “You better believe me.”
Sparkle and Starlight gulped and fixed their posture on their chairs to have the most efficient story-listening experience.
Yearling tapped her pony ears. “It was a Monday, right? That afternoon, I was riding an airplane over the Samhach Ocean, headed to Puerto Caballo for my next dig and my next book. Then, all of us glowed white. Next thing I knew, I was a pony with wings and everyone else were all sorts of different fairy tale creatures!” She shuddered. “I thought it was some nightmare until someone accidentally opened the emergency exit. My wings got caught in the wind and out I flew, spiraling away until I fainted.”
Sparkle gasped. She was biting her hoofnails until Starlight tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Keep it together, Twi. She's still alive.”
After making sure that Sparkle was assured of her being alive—turned out it was just how she'd narrated it—Yearling continued: “When I first awoke, I was in pain but, surprisingly, it wasn’t that bad. No serious scars, no immediate need for medical attention. Took me a good minute to get my eyesight clear.
"First thing I saw was a sign telling me I was back on the continent, but...it was all different to me. Flowers moving on their own, crocodiles made of rocks, bats colored and shaped like fruits." She blinked fast. "I-I believed I’d been transported to some magical dimension!”
“You’re not wrong, though,” Starlight said with crossed forehooves.
When Yearling caught what the unicorn was really saying, she smirked back. “I should have the O&O session with you sometime.”
Starlight shot a smile at Sparkle. "Pretty much guaranteed. You have me to thank for."
Sparkle blushed, tilting her head and making a cute smiling face. "You don't have to do that!"
“May I?" Yearling snapped, glaring at both giddy Equestrians. "I've already had more than enough time here."
Once given her peace, Yearling coughed. She rotated her helmet around, trying to get back to the swing of things: "How long did I stay in the jungle? Ten days."
A pause.
"They were the worst ten days of my life. Not only was I a talking flying pony, I had to survive some sort of sentient jungle with weird plants and freakish wildlife. The only thing I had was a knife...didn’t even risk holding it with my teeth." Glanced at the side. "No cellphone, no flares, no flashlight—those were in my emergency kit that fell into the ocean.”
As she recollected her thoughts, she remembered her adventure more. The close calls on rickety bridges, high cliffs, and falling trees caused by timberwolves...“What if I stayed this way? What if I’m stuck like this forever? And that’s if I got out of this jungle alive. No one would know about my fate if I died right there.” Then, whirling her hoof around in a circle, her voice rose: “But despite all that, I held on to hope. Maybe—just maybe—if I got out, there’d be someone who’d turn me back to normal.
“So I pushed on. Fought beasts and monsters best described as fantastic. Three-headed chimeras, spiders that could fly, manticores exactly like the ones my Aunt used to tell me at night. It was crazy stuff. Can’t believe I really fought them,” and gave herself a complementing chuckle.
She unfurled her wings, spreading them out for the Equestrians to see. “I also kept telling myself that I had these. Might as well use them just in case, right? So I practiced." Pointed at a spot where a few feathers were missing. "Got some minor wounds from crashing all over the place, but I got better when I started to really fly.” She winked at the princess. “You could tell that Sunset mare that I was self-taught."
Sparkle nodded. "I'm sure she'd like to hear it straight from you! Pegasi like you learning on their own is kinda' rare."
Yearling folded her wings. "Well, I'm just glad I came through in one piece."
Raising her head to command some attention, the writer continued: “Uh, let’s see...right, right: After ten days, I encountered a clearing. Then, a road.” Her smile widened, the sheer joy of being one step closer to safety coming back. “All I had to do was follow that road and I’d bump into someone or, better yet, a town! But, then...."
She groaned, taking off her glasses to let her hooves cover her face in shame.
Bruised and wearied after a long time in the jungle, A.K. Yearling kept following the road all the way to the closest sign of permanent, settled civilization:
Mareami. The City of Charms, home to the baseball-playing Mareami Unicorns.
Fitting, wasn’t it? Considering that, now, the market’s charms were actually magical and the entire baseball team being made up of unicorns....
But Yearling didn’t care for Mareami’s lush plants nor its crisp waters nor its warm climate nor its sandy beaches. The first thing she did was fly around in the neighborhoods, asking what was going on and why there were no humans in sight.
All it took was one shout and a thrown newspaper for her to catch up on everything. As it turned out, it wasn’t just her and the people in the airplane and the residents of Mareami. It was everyone in the world who’d transformed into these magic creatures. The worst part? There was no way to fix it.
Yearling responded to the news by sitting on the grass of someone’s front yard, putting on a stare that looked off to a thousand miles, and left her mouth hanging open in utter dismay. She clutched the paper, gripped it as hard as she could, holding on to it as if for dear life. Haunted by the thought of being a flying horse for the rest of—
“Daring Do?!”
Yearling swung her head to the left, seeing a galloping brown stallion wearing the same shirt as hers. Even got the mane’s colors right.
“Wait...A.K. Yearling?!” shouted this mysterious pony as he came up to her, crossing the street. “I-Is that you?!”
The writer’s ears perked up, recognizing the not-so-ratty voice. “Wh-Who are you again?”
"Qui-Quibble. Quibble Pants!" He raised both of his forehooves up. "You know...your self-proclaimed Number One Fan?"
Yearling blinked and her surprise was gone. "Oh. You."
Quibble took a step back, still in awe of seeing his idol as a pony just like him. “But, no...it’s n-not possible, but it is you! You even got wings!” and looked at his torso, lacking such appendages.
“What do you mean it is me?” Yearling said, perplexed by such a happy attitude. Then, pointing at him and barely calming down, she raised the newspaper and yelled, “OK, c-can you tell me anything else about this magic, this change—whatever?!”
Yet Quibble wasn’t paying much attention to her words. Instead, he was inspecting her up and down. “B-But...those clothes, and the bruises, and—”
“Yeah, I went to a jungle and fought monsters, thank you very much!” Yearling lashed out without a second thought, kicking up some dirt with her hindleg.
It was Quibble’s mouth that hung open now. “Did you just…?
Yearling flicked her tail, annoyed. “What?”
“A-Are you telling me…” gulped, “you’re Yearling and Daring Do?!”
“What’re you tal—”
“Are those stories real?!” Quibble said, stepping back farther, now on the road. “I mean, minus the soft fantasy stuff...but still?!”
Yearling threw her pith helmet. “Look, I c-can explain!”
“You didn’t deny it!” Quibble shouted, jumping to certainly the only plausible conclusion. “I went to ponyland to get acquainted with myself, saw who their A.K. Yearling was, read a bit of their Daring Do books, so I know what she looks like as a pony!" Mouth agape, now opening and closing like a goldfish, "A-Are you also...Daring Do?!”
“Not exactly, but—”
“...and here I am,” Yearling said, hooves on her head. “To be mobbed by those who recognize me, and that’s without thinking of my other fans in this world.” She slouched on her chair. “No peace. Wish I hadn’t kept it a secret.”
With the whole story told, Twilight and Starlight looked at each other, speaking to each other by just raising and lowering their brows.
Starlight then nodded.
Giving Sparkle the green light to say, “I’ll see what I can do, Miss Yearling. I can use my authority to clear the air once and for all, even if it means having to use their online video services.”
Yearling sighed and smiled. “Thank you.”
She stood up to leave, heading for the door.
And then she was gone, too.
"She's...less reclusive than our Yearling," Sparkle observed with a hesitant tone. "I mean, before we got to her and helped save the day that one time."
Starlight then levitated a game box of Ogres & Oubliettes. "Let's do a practice one-on-one session. I want to experience what makes it so great for Discord."
Sparkle gave in, albeit wondering why Starlight mentioned DIscord of all creatures.
A.K. Yearling would go on to attend press conferences, no matter how disorganized they were with all the not-so-usable equipment for these new ponies. Their old reliance on hands became apparent when an argument broke out right before the writer’s eyes: a hippogriff finally got tired of being patronized “just because I got fingers and you don’t!” and lunged at the first pony she saw.
Barring that, Yearling maintained a stiff upper lip, letting slip not a single flaw on her features as confused reporters asked about her “secret identity” as Daring Do. To that, she replied along the lines of, “No. It’s just my archaeologist nickname. That’s all.”
When the buzz over her was done, her free-flowing mind rolled to potential outlines for the next novel. None of them weren’t fleshed out yet, so she thought of going to the next available dig site which was scheduled to be in the town of Somnambula.
It was currently infested with a case of parasprites.
While she was assured that Sunset and her friends were gathering instruments to combat this enemy swarm, Yearling didn’t feel so easy about the rest of the world. What if they had faced similar problems or worse?
And then her secretary came over to her house. Some movie deal was in the works.
“...I get that you’re a creative guy, Canter Zoom,” Yearling said over the table, “but don’t you think you’re going overboard?”
She sat in Sweet Snacks Café, seated near the corner so as not to be heard. A look around saw most of the pony customers eating hay burgers, their delectable scent drifting to her nose.
Canter Zoom, a light brown Earth pony, sat on the other side. Gesticulating a lot with his forehooves, “It may sound way out there, but these changelings would like to be involved in our next movie!”
Yearling’s reply was a stressful rub of her forehead, doo-wop music blaring from the old-time jukebox.
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So human Daring Do is an archeologist? Being a pegasus now might benefit her somewhat, since having wings would enable her to access to previously inaccessible places and make a bird-eye view observation without the use of drone. Really, she should consult her pony counterpart on how to maintain a secret identity.
This... was just kind of a mess. Human Yearling surviving the Everfree Everglades works, but the rest feels disconnected as all get out. Why the "Have a seat?" "No thanks, I slept" exchange? What's with the abundant Sparkle-bashing? Why would human Quibble Pants associate Daring Do with a pegasus, or if it's the pony, why is he on Earth?
To your credit, you're having Professor Fossil do good work, but the rest feels pile you forgot to include half of the connections and reasoning in the actual text when you wrote it.
So, I suppose that everyone on the plane died... Well... I... had predicted that... uhm...
Wait... why would somebody open the emergency exit on a flying plane? I get the panic, and the fact that probably the plane will start falling soon after (especially if it is something alongside a Cessna, whitout auto pilot and stabilizers), but usually you are not issued with parachutes on non military planes (especially the common ones...).
Also, how did she survived that fall?
I'm probably overanalizing again... But still, I'd pointed it out! I can only imagine how many planes have crashed after this thing. Not to mantion, cars, motorbikes, motorboats, bicycles, and everything else.
9192927
Yeah, that's a good point. Hundreds if not thousands of people have probably died thanks to the big change. Not even just from crashes, but what about people with medical conditions, were in hospitals, and so on.
9192608
Yeah, how did A.K. know Quibble Pants in the first place? This was confusing.
9192608
9192927
9193065
I got some 'splaining to do then.
Yes, this chapter's a mess and it's my fault. I was running out of writing time on Tuesday and, in an irrational fit, I decided to wing it and fast-track what remained of the self-editing process. It's sad since I do enjoy rooting out any mistakes before it goes live along with adding lines that make this or that more sensible.
Looking back, the best course of action was to delay the chapter to Wednesday for polishing...but of course, silly me wanted it out on time.
Yes, it does sound a lot like Sparkle got the short end of the stick. Would've been better if, at least, she enacted revenge on Starlight or something.
As for Quibble: Ten days would sort of be enough time for those on Earth to get a grasp of Equestria and to see if they have counterparts there. Quibble, being the avid fan that he is, would want to see if there was a Yearling there, too. He figures out her form from there (and somehow sees that he has his Equestrian self there as well) and things went on from there.
I guess cutie marks should've played a big role with recognizing Yearling, too.
The reason why I'm glossing over things like transformations in vehicles and in hospitals is because I'm trying to write the chapter as if it was an Equestria Girls short. For an E-rated story, I have a feeling some topics are better implied than mentioned outright.
Anyway, I'll do damage control on this chapter as soon as I can. I'm sorry for this mess.
9193238
But how does AK even know who Quibble Pants is?
9193547
I was supposed to say that, in this world, Yearling met Quibble a few times before in some signings and/or fan conventions.
9193573
That would have been nice to know beforehand
9193582
It should've been there. Blame my stubbornness to the schedule. I've said it before, but I'll fix it up when I can.
9193613
It's fine
I think this new version has much better flow.
9196134
Thank you! It's good to know that I'm getting somewhere with it.