• Member Since 14th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 15 minutes ago

Unwhole Hole


Digging it deeper. Always deeper.

Sequels1

T

The Exmoori: a mythic race of ancient warrior ponies who, according to legend, once ruled Equestria not by use of magic but by unspeakable technological creations. All legitimate archaeologists, of course, are aware of the fact that the Exmoor ponies are nothing more than a hoax or fairy tale.

Other entities, however, believe they were very much real.

A pair of mysterious albino Pegasi arrive at the ancestral home of Doctor Caballeron, bringing with them images of a carving in the ancient language of the Exmoori- -and promising him riches beyond his wildest dreams if he can bring them the artifact it mentions.

Simultaneously, a young and discredited academic arrives in Southern Equestria, bearing an ill-gotten fragment of the same text. He presents it to none other than Daring Do, who sets out to prove his theories true- -and to recover an artifact of profound and unknowable danger.

Chapters (83)
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Comments ( 46 )

An interesting start, I look forward to it's continuation.

Once again I am entertained by your stories and cant put this down until it is finished.

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

9021365
It took me a bit to think about it. Of the characters introduced so far:
Argiopé- -she is meant to have a German accent
Dulcimer- -erudite British, maybe a little nasal
White Pegasi- -something like Israeli, but more halting and cold
You are of course free to view their voices as however you wish. This is just how I happen to think of them.

MJP

Quibble pants automatically hates this and thinks you're a hack

The story keeps getting better and better.

This is getting really interesting.

This is a really great story. Cant wait to see what comes next.

Vellum is sheep skin. or probaly here pony skin, were the hair has been scrapped off.

Oh dear, That's not what means I think. It ends your fate, existance for your enemies and you :)

I'm guessing it's a grey goo scenario, theoretically capable of rebuilding an entire people from scratch, but almost impossible to control and far more likely to just eat everything.
9098289

Now that's a clever artifact. And not something you see in this type of story usually since most ancient cultures can't make intricate clockwork.

Also, Flock needs to have a chat with the SCP foundation. I think they'd hit it off.

Flock has not been a real pony for so long, I think he has lost that what makes a pony more than just a animal. Soul, pony version of humanity?

Carillon is more evil than Huitzotl.

Never underestimate Rainbow Dash's reckless idiocy! :rainbowdetermined2:

Of course she going to use it. Flock might as well said "Nothing worse could happen"

Dagon so this going Lovecraftian horror. Oh No!

I think she just saved her life, being and soul by rejecting the offer. I think the alicorns there were those that did not .

The more I read the better it gets.

Yep it went Lovecraftian.

When you realise that the one you are talking about is not the person (pony) in front of you. But. Yourself.

You're trying to break loyalty by saying she was not. Good Luck with that.

The Vandrare were human once, weren't they? Before they entered the void.

Great she given Discords Dilema. Do you save cloudsdale or do you save your friend? Do you sav one or do you save everyone else?

Once a law enforcment agent...

Uh oh either she destroyed the hand and Flock was trying to get it. Or the hand still working.

So, the magic reaper look alike was once human?

Think so but gave up what made it human, If it even had it once.

Does Calleberon get redeamed, is this the end of Daring Do, and is it the end of Equs? We'll see next time on " As Equs Turns".

9181773 I suspect first we'll find out what that thing's true goal is. If it was just death, you wouldn't be able to run and hide, so it has to have another objective.

An honestly fantastic story. The world you've built here is nothing short of a masterwork, and if this is a sequel is smell, I'm exited af.

An amazing Story with great Worldbuilding , definitely one of the hidden Gems on the Site
I am actually really surprised that it got so little attention.
I thought for sure that this was the one that would manage to break into the Mainstream of the Site.

It just occurred to me that the Exmoori are very likely a very well disguised fluffy pony reference which only further cements my thoughts that this story is amazingly well written and criminally under appreciated.

I like this story but wish that the rogue knights would have won. I have read Devour the Seventh World and absolutely despise Celestia. Did you delete "To Devour the Seventh World" ? Are you going to re-write it or something?

9486414
It is still here. I had trouble finding it, but apparently you have to have the "view mature" setting turned on. I don't remember why it has that rating.

9487813
Weird, I thought I had the mature rating on. Whatever the case I can see it now.

Or five hundred thousand. Watch what she becomes then.

i c wot u did thar :raritywink:

This was incredible. A delightful mix that I didn't even know I wanted until now, of the wit and heroism and occasional absurdity of Indiana Jones (as a Daring Do story should be) with...I don't even want to say 'Lovecraft', because this built better pictures in my mind than any of his work ever has. The ever-escalating feeling of smallness, of Equestria and even the entire world being a tiny, fragile island of life and sanity in the middle of a multiverse that is...well, uncaring generally seems like the very best you could hope for, or perhaps just a temporary willingness to indulge one's continued existence. The breadth of characterization, from jaded, aching old Daring Do, to 100%-true-blue-Equestrian Rainbow Dash, to the used children and twisted 'parents' of the Questlords, Caballeron's freaky thing with Argiopé, Flock's weird almost-heroic villainry, hell even the minor characters like Wun, Zel, Brass, and Bon-Bon—they all feel like real parts of the strange, exaggerated mix of decay, despair, hope, and harmony that exists in this world, of a cartoon snow globe floating in a hungry void.

As with everything of yours I've read, your worldbuilding is maddeningly expansive, and yet very consistently projected. More specifically to this story, it feels consistent with the show, with the apparent fact that Daring Do alone seems to regularly thwart existential threats while most of the world is blissfully unaware (yet reads her watered-down novels for entertainment). Surely at this point her writing is a part of her personal therapy, a way of processing the horrors she's seen and may still occasionally see out of the corner of her eye...

The ending gave me strange feelings—as I approached, part of me started to feel like there was no way this could end well without some sort of deus ex machina, and that having Twilight or whoever swoop in wouldn't fit with the story. I had not cognated that there was an alternative god available—that what I took to be offhand mentions were, in fact, a Chekov's God. And it fit perfectly with the story—with the feeling that there's always something larger, scarier...a god to smaller gods. So, I had the strange experience of predicting exactly what the ending required, and yet still being entirely wrong about it. Bravo. :rainbowhuh:

I'll be recommending this around, as usual. And now I can start on the sequel! :twilightsmile:

You made me feel a little bit sorry for something/one called 'The Red Masque of Death', wtf.

Wheeeee, started reading this offline. I'm at chapter 10 already, but had to comment here, because HAIL TO HOOTS!

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