A long, boring trip through seemingly endless desert was not how Diamond Tiara had wanted to spend her summer vacation. Her parents, however, insisted that she be brought to their newest real estate acquisition: a tremendous and ancient house, built long before any pony could remember and for reasons that nopony could even recall situated hundreds of miles from even the dustiest and most rustic of towns.
At first, Diamond Tiara managed to tolerate this dusty, strange dwelling. After all, at least Silver Spoon, her dearest friend, was with her. Until her parents were called away on a business meeting, and the servants that they sent for never arrived. Until a strange figure clad in rags began to appear in the emptiness, watching the pair of fillies from the horizon. Until the dark and terrible history of that ancient house began to come to light. Until the voices started to whisper from the blackness.
Until it was already too late.
Written by Unwhole Hole
Edited by Unwhole Hole's sister
Cover art by μm
Like promising. First chapter was a nice read.
Pretty good. Needs to be longer.
7120318 Longer? How so?
Well, after reading this I must say that it is a good story, its well written and has a lovely atmosphere, and few grammer errors.
But I must ask, will there be a sequal? Or a prequel?
7120862 As in, I'd like more of the background of these new 'ponies', what'll happen next after DT and SS discovered their existence, their parents' reactions to discovering who they've been hanging out, that kind of thing.
7122348 Grammar errors are a perennial problem of mine. I have no plans for a prequel or a sequel at the moment, but anything is possible if I can come up with a good, compelling idea for one. Also, thank you for complimenting the atmosphere.
7122377 I've toyed with the idea of showing a story concerning these characters about six years or so in their future, but I can't think up a good plotline for it (yet). Side note, the morlocks do appear in both "To Devour the Seventh World" and "Child of Order" as "burrowing Pegasi", but only in bit parts. I've been wanting to expand their role for a while.
7123447 No problem, you did a fantastic job of making the reader feel the mood and urgency.
But, in the meantime I will still silently hope for another story for this.
Holy shit. Scary.
Liked the star wars reference
Holy fuck. This was one of the most scariest and best fics on this site. Great job
(Can I get a fan art of diamond pick?)
I had a blast from first word to last. The plotline was intriguing and it was fun to see Silver Spoon and Diamond go on an adventure like this. I had never read that before. The pace was picture perfect, not so slow I lost interest, but in never felt rushed.
The best part though, characterization. Wonderfully done, it really shows that you have a talent for writing both Diamond and Silver. Also, every line from Spoiled Rich made me want to kick her teeth in, just the way she should be.
This is the kind of stuff the favorite button was invented for.
I read this following the rather silly toaster fic.
That was somewhat lacking, though the first chapters were good.
This worked all the way through, and was a welcome improvement and very enjoyable.
Thanks!
Meanwhile in Ponyville
derpicdn.net/img/view/2018/2/21/1661695__safe_artist-colon-shoutingisfun_edit_pinkie+pie_twilight+sparkle_alicorn_anon%27s+couch_book_bookhorse_book+sense_comic_comic-colon-the+little.png
Hail to the Queen, baby!
That was really good.
I'm definitely going to read your other stories.
And I finally remembered the name of
the movie, this story reminds me of The Ruins.
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcQ5QOQSfne1TGW8V4p3CGf_UrJQ8wJY7TquFCxNrIEg0L8-lrz5
I am gripped by this wonderfully dark tale.
Hastur?
So this is where the idea for the Morlocks originated, neat!
Another story I really enjoyed. This one has both impeccable pacing, and great chemistry between the memebers of its cast. Plus, I was glad to see more of the Morlocks from your other story. Good stuff!
This story is a fantastic and fun little story. Amazing and I might read it again someday.
Rare add to my favs and a like!
I love any fic that shows Filthy the respect he deserves. Poor parent but cool guy. Sucks he's married to a high socitey racist, but I imagine he'd be proud behind Spoiled's back that his little princess is making proper friends.
Now the demands of leaving just seem like a misunderstanding of their actual ability to leave
Holy crap, that is the best insult I have ever heard, Diamond Tiara is a freaking savage
This was great. Really enjoyed the look into Morlocks and the technetium dials.
And, of course, your interpretation of Spoiled Rich continues to be hilarious.
I can't tell if this is a typo or if it is supposed to be a joke at Filthy's expense that he doesn't know what a "monastery" is.
I really like this story! Hey, I have an idea. Could I draw you an new coverart? If yes, I´d like to chat a bit with you (PM). Don´t worry, It´s not much, I just don´t want to trash the comments section.
Best line DT ever had. Ever.
9176113
That.
This dialogue actually made me angry; I felt my pulse accelerated. I wanted to grab Spoiled by the throat and sink my nails into her flesh while pulling out her teeth.
Me: internal shrieks of disgust and confusion
I'm loving the story so far. It needs a bit of editing, and some words seem to be missing, but I'm getting enough information to no get lost.
I’m picturing this place like the Winchester House. There’s a core somewhere, surrounded by countless additions, none of which match.
Ok… I reread this part a few times. DT hears the voice, and she starts following its directions, but then she just randomly changes her mind on the last one? Or is one of the directions here reversed? Because as it reads right now, they were told to go right then left, but they went right and then right again.
In tonight’s play, the part of Sir Pith Helmut will be played by George Takei.
Very interesting. I was thinking it was going to be something like Mi-go, what with the insectoid characteristics, the clicking, the mining of hitherto unheard of alloys, and the ridiculously advanced tech. The only thing throwing it off was the photos, but now everything makes sense now. Well, I mean…
Heh.
Seriously though, DT could do worse than marrying a Prince who just so happens to be an heir to a successful mining empire.
The plants didn’t realize their mistake until DT went all Ash Williams on them.
“I know spoon-fu.”
I feel like the story started off as straight up horror, and then turned into action-horror. Kinda like the difference between Alien and Aliens.
I’d honestly thought that the servants had been waylaid by plants after it became apparent that it was the vegetation that was the real danger; I kept expecting them to come upon the freshly desiccated remains of a bunch of butlers and maids.
All in all, it was a fun read, the horror elements morphing into a self-empowering pulp action with comedy interspersed evenly enough to keep the story from falling into grimdark territory.
I really love the characterization of post-redemption Silver Spoon in this fic! You're doing the work G4 did not.
I also love the world building for Ponyville denizens we hear from her.
So are they like betrothed now? This is an underwhelming and silly takeaway but I can't get over the fact that this is aparantly taking place in Nevada and Las Pegasus is just located where Las Vegas would be and the United States is part of Equestria.
Good job！