• Member Since 14th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Unwhole Hole


Digging it deeper. Always deeper.

Sequels1


T

A long, boring trip through seemingly endless desert was not how Diamond Tiara had wanted to spend her summer vacation. Her parents, however, insisted that she be brought to their newest real estate acquisition: a tremendous and ancient house, built long before any pony could remember and for reasons that nopony could even recall situated hundreds of miles from even the dustiest and most rustic of towns.

At first, Diamond Tiara managed to tolerate this dusty, strange dwelling. After all, at least Silver Spoon, her dearest friend, was with her. Until her parents were called away on a business meeting, and the servants that they sent for never arrived. Until a strange figure clad in rags began to appear in the emptiness, watching the pair of fillies from the horizon. Until the dark and terrible history of that ancient house began to come to light. Until the voices started to whisper from the blackness.

Until it was already too late.


Written by Unwhole Hole
Edited by Unwhole Hole's sister
Cover art by μm

Chapters (8)
Comments ( 12 )

Like promising. First chapter was a nice read.

Pretty good. Needs to be longer.

Well, after reading this I must say that it is a good story, its well written and has a lovely atmosphere, and few grammer errors.

But I must ask, will there be a sequal? Or a prequel?

7120862 As in, I'd like more of the background of these new 'ponies', what'll happen next after DT and SS discovered their existence, their parents' reactions to discovering who they've been hanging out, that kind of thing.

7122348 Grammar errors are a perennial problem of mine. I have no plans for a prequel or a sequel at the moment, but anything is possible if I can come up with a good, compelling idea for one. Also, thank you for complimenting the atmosphere.

7122377 I've toyed with the idea of showing a story concerning these characters about six years or so in their future, but I can't think up a good plotline for it (yet). Side note, the morlocks do appear in both "To Devour the Seventh World" and "Child of Order" as "burrowing Pegasi", but only in bit parts. I've been wanting to expand their role for a while.

7123447 No problem, you did a fantastic job of making the reader feel the mood and urgency.
But, in the meantime I will still silently hope for another story for this.

Holy shit. Scary.

Liked the star wars reference :rainbowwild:

:pinkiegasp:

Holy fuck. This was one of the most scariest and best fics on this site. Great job

:moustache:

(Can I get a fan art of diamond pick?)

I had a blast from first word to last. The plotline was intriguing and it was fun to see Silver Spoon and Diamond go on an adventure like this. I had never read that before. The pace was picture perfect, not so slow I lost interest, but in never felt rushed.

The best part though, characterization. Wonderfully done, it really shows that you have a talent for writing both Diamond and Silver. Also, every line from Spoiled Rich made me want to kick her teeth in, just the way she should be.

This is the kind of stuff the favorite button was invented for.

I read this following the rather silly toaster fic.
That was somewhat lacking, though the first chapters were good.
This worked all the way through, and was a welcome improvement and very enjoyable.
Thanks!

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