Daring Do and the Hand of Doom

by Unwhole Hole

Chapter 11: Daring Do and Rainbow Dash, in Dresses

Rainbow Dash stood at the tall iron gate, and thought. Every line of reasoning lead to the same conclusion: that she was profoundly uncomfortable.

Never before had she realized just how good Rarity was at her job. Rainbow Dash had not worn many dresses in her life; the few that she owned were all gifts from Rarity. She had always assumed that Rarity essentially just very much enjoyed making dresses, in the same way many Pegasi enjoyed pulling levers in cloud factories or checking the pH of rainbows. As soon as she had donned a dress not made by Rarity, though, Rainbow Dash realized that Rarity not only enjoyed making dresses but was spectacularly talented. Dresses were to Rarity as parties were to Pinkie Pie: vastly more inconsequentially amazing than any produced by any other source. The fit was always perfect: there was no tightness and no inconsistencies in the fabric that could catch on a knee or a wing feather, and no chance of chafing. It was as if Rainbow Dash were completely, utterly nude.

The dress that she had been given, though, stood in stark contrast. It was certainly high quality, and probably expensive- -and it fit. But not well. The seams fell where they were supposed to, but were restrictive and tight, and their inner linings were scratchy and unpleasant. The dresses Rarity gave to Rainbow Dash fit so well that, if she chose to, she would be able to fly a half-marathon without breaking a sweat. This dress, though, was so restrictive that Rainbow Dash could barely walk.

Additionally- -and Rainbow Dash was loathe to admit it- -it looked downright hideous. Even though admitting that she could even tell would be horribly damaging to her reputation, Rainbow Dash still found herself muttering to herself. It was as though somepony had badly failed to make a cocktail dress but failed and ended up with something meant for an excessively severe secretary. The rear consisted of a black skirt made of thick fabric that was just short enough that moving improperly would risk forming what Rarity not-so-affectionately referred to as a “butt funnel”. Fortunately- -or unfortunately, considering the warmth and humidity- -Rainbow Dash was wearing black leggings underneath that were thick enough to be trousers in their own right. Her upper half was no better; it consisted of black jacket inlaid with complex silver patterns- -and a set of ridiculous shoulder pads- -over a sickly green blouse that was affixed with an oversized ruffled bow around Rainbow Dash’s neck.

“Gosh darn it dang stupid dress,” swore Rainbow Dash, continuing yet another quiet rant to herself as she waited, ignoring the sound of familiar wings behind her. “Stupid leggings. Stupid tiny wing holes. I’m gonna chafe!”

“Sorry,” said Daring Do, landing beside her. “It’s the best I could do on such a short time. It had to come off-the-peg. No time for proper couture.”

“Why do you even know that word?” snapped Rainbow Dash. “Mane, if Rarity saw me right now? She’d probably faint so hard we wouldn’t even be able to get her off that stupid weird-shaped couch for a week!”

“Like I said. Sorry. But the bow looks cute, though.”

Rainbow Dash turned sharply, preparing her invective; when she saw Daring Do, though, her anger caught in her throat.

The dress that Daring Do was wearing was of significantly higher quality- -but it was the sort that Rainbow Dash would never even dream of attempting to put on. It was brilliant red, made of a strange fabric that seemed to oscillate between pleasant matte and understated gloss. The train behind it was long, but had a slit in it so high that Rainbow Dash could see every cardinal direction of Daring Do’s compass cutie mark. The front portion was overlaid with symmetrical panels of gold and red fabric, almost like armor; all of it matched the complicated golden bands that held Daring Do’s long, braided mane in place.

Rainbow Dash felt her wings extend outward involuntarily, pressing uncomfortably against her frumpy jacket. She did not even care.

“You look- -you look amazing!”

“Really?” Daring Do turned to look at herself, accidentally striking a Rarity-worthy pose in the process. “Um…yeah. I guess it’s okay. Not my style at all, though. No pockets. And you have no idea how hard it was to fit a whip under this.”

Rainbow Dash blushed, not wanting to think about the mechanisms or processes that Daring Do had used to conceal the length of thick leather beneath her clothing. Instead, her brain sputtered, resulting in her blurting out a question she was not even aware that she was contemplating. “Why doesn’t mine look that good?”

“What?” Daring Do seemed somewhat hurt. “Sorry, Dash. I really am. Like I said, yours was pre-made and refitted for a Pegasus. Mine was made for me.”

“But you said there wasn’t time- -”

“Not recently. They had it in storage. Celestia’s beard, I haven’t worn this thing in ages. I swore to myself I wouldn’t.” She pulled another pose, once again completely accidentally. “Actually, I’m really surprised it still fits. I guess all this adventuring really does keep me in shape.”

Daring Do shrugged and started walking toward the gate. Before Rainbow Dash could protest or try to stop her, she reached it- -and, despite there not being any ponies near it, it slowly swung open.

“So we’re just going to walk in there?” cried Rainbow Dash as she reached Daring Do’s side.

“I don’t see why not.”

Rainbow Dash did not protest, but she did not understand how this was supposed to work either. She would have asked, but she became increasingly distracted by her surroundings. In the Daring Do novels, this particular manor had been described more than once. The descriptions present were, to Rainbow Dash’s great pleasure, largely accurate, although it was apparent that there had been some recent updates and additions to the construction.

Overall, it was a highly lavish estate, but a small one. Central Singapone was a densely populated city; even a tiny building would have been ridiculously expensive. As such, the lots were small- -although this one still represented managed to house an elaborate house almost as large as the Castle of Friendship. The lot around it, though small, was packed heavily with highly detailed ornate gardens: Rainbow Dash almost gasped a the sight of a cypress-lined koi pond, positioned just as it was described in Daring Do’s novels.

The path to the central house was not large. The path was cobblestone, leading between two rows of fruit trees that had clearly been placed in a way that was meant to make them seem almost natural. Strings of fancy lights had been strung along them to guide the way.

It took them less than a minute to reach the door, and by the time they had, Rainbow Dash was shaking. She was excited, but also afraid. She had no idea what would happen. This was only exacerbated by the realization that two ponies were waiting for them at the door. Or at least one pony and one of something else. Something far larger.

The larger being, it turned out, was a bison of all things. He- -or she; Rainbow Dash had a hard time determining the difference- -was dressed in a black suit, as was the pony beside him. The pony was a tall, thin unicorn with oddly harsh black eyes. The unicorn scrutinized both Daring Do and Rainbow Dash with a harsh, unblinking gaze while the bison seemed to notice them but only tangentially, as if he was busy contemplating something else.

Rainbow Dash faltered, but Daring Do walked straight up to the unicorn.

“Good evening, madam and mademoiselle,” he said. His voice was deep and highly measured, and spoken with a slow Singaponian drawl. “Might I be so forward as to request your names?”

Rainbow Dash began to feel herself sweating. The way this pony spoke was strange, and how he failed to blink or make even the slightest movements disturbed her. He was clearly not a butler, or a greeter of any sort. Instead, Rainbow Dash realized all-too-late that this stallion was the kind meant to handle far more violent tasks.

Daring Do did not hesitate. “Daring Do. And guest.”

The pony’s expression did not change. The bison beside him snorted.

“Of course, madam. On behalf of Lady Perr-Synt, I extend her hospitality and warm welcomes to you. Please feel free to enter, and enjoy to your heart’s content.”

He bowed deeply, and his horn flickered with a green glow that pushed the ornately carved door to the house inward. Daring Do did not return his bow, but rather simply pushed past him. Rainbow Dash did so as well, laughing awkwardly as she did so.

“Heh- -thanks?” she stuttered.

“Dash,” hissed Daring Do.

“R- -right! Sorry!”

Rainbow Dash quickly caught up to Daring Do, and the pair found themselves in a long hall with a high ceiling and large, expensive tiles for a floor. Rainbow Dash was astounded to see a number of exotic fossils imbedded in the darker of the tiles, while the remainder were an almost luminescent green.

“Oh mane,” she whispered. “I can’t believe that worked!”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“Well, you know, because you and Wun Perr-Synt are enemies! Right?”

Daring Do sighed. “It’s not always as simple as it is with Caballeron or Ahuizotl. My relationship with Wun is…complicated.” Daring Do’s brow furrowed. “Her father was a recurring villain, sure. And she’s vicious, arrogant, conniving…but not outright evil.”

“So you…have a previous relationship with her? Like…”

Daring Do turned her head and frowned. “Like…what?”

“Like…you know…”

Pausing, Daring Do thought for a moment. “Not like that,” she said, slowly.

“Oh. Sure.” Rainbow Dash laughed awkwardly. “I knew that. Because I totally didn’t write a shipping fanfiction with you two…I mean, I’m not THAT much of an egghead!” Her face scrunched. “But…if you wanted to read something like that…”

Daring Do ignored Rainbow Dash, as she was far more focused on the situation at hoof. As collected as she was acting, she was deeply concerned. There was not actually as much of a plan as Rainbow Dash thought. Really, this was more of a fact-finding mission; there was no way to actually reach- -let alone take- -the artifact in question. Rather, Daring Do just needed to find out what it was or what it was for.

Even doing that, though, was not necessarily safe. As friendly as the pony at the door had pretended to be, this place would never be welcoming. It was always dangerous. And navigating it required the greatest care.

This was only exacerbated when they finally reached the end of the foyer, and there was no going back. Daring Do and Rainbow Dash found themselves standing in the main ballroom, one of the only rooms present in the extensive mansion that was actually meant for entertaining guests. It was grand in scale and even grander in the detail that was put on the delicate carvings of every overhead joist and ceiling fresco.
A number of guests meandered throughout the floor, moving between large and expertly lit display cases that had been set up in a grid pattern through the room. Dancing would have been impossible, but that was not the point of an event like this. Wun had created this party for one specific reason, and it was not the enjoyment of her guests: it was to show off the premier specimens of her extensive and world-renowned collection.
The guests, to their credit, did pay some attention to the artifacts- -although it was clear that few among their ranks fully comprehended exactly what they were looking at. Even without looking, Daring Do knew why- -because she knew Wun’s tastes. Her “premier” artifacts were almost certainly the least aesthetically pleasing, because Wun hardly cared about that.
So the guests took to other things that were to be expected from the parties of the exceedingly wealthy: ponies meandered about the floor, quietly enjoying fine music and finer wine, as well as occasionally glancing toward one another’s outfits. Daring Do was able to detect a slight shift in Rainbow Dash’s expression, one indicative of embarrassment- -but the young Pegasus hid it admirably.

“Wow,” said Rainbow Dash. “If Rarity could see me at a party like this? Heck, she’d give her horn just for a few minutes with these guys.”

Daring Do put her hoof on Rainbow Dash’s shoulder. “Don’t mention horn removal. Not even jokingly like that.”

“Why not?”

“Because unicorns take it VERY seriously. And I’m sure you’ve noticed the security they have tonight.”

Rainbow Dash looked around the room. If she had not noticed it before, she certainly did upon closer inspection. Hanging back from the crowd were a number of suited bison. A few of them were wearing feathers on their heads, but they all looked terribly angry.

“Oh,” she said. “Yeah, I see them.”

“Good. But this is a formal affair. So if we behave properly, we don’t have anything to worry about. But if we don’t…”

Rainbow Dash gulped. “Right. What do I need to do?”

“Stay close to me and try not to talk much. We’ll try to find Wun. Knowing her, she’ll wait until the least opportune moment to show up.”

“And what do I do if I see somepony I know?”

Daring Do blinked. “What are the chances of that?”

Rainbow Dash looked over Daring Do’s shoulder. “Pretty high, actually.”

Slowly, Daring Do turned to look behind her and, much to her dismay, she saw that Rainbow Dash appeared to be correct. Two ponies were indeed approaching them, and although she herself did not recognize either of them, it was apparent that Rainbow Dash did.

They were both earth-ponies. The stallion in the pair was a dull brown color, with a thick black mane that was slicked back with a surplus of expensive grease. He wore a blue suit jacket and an exceedingly tacky red necktie with a historical currency symbol on it. As with most stallions, his rump was exposed, showing that his cutie mark, which consisted of triplicate money-bags.

Accompanying him was a violet mare with her oddly pointy nose directed at such a high angle that she almost seemed to be staring at the ceiling- -or would have, had she not been literally staring down her nose at Rainbow Dash and Daring Do. She wore an extremely well-made dress that was lavish although more conservative than the one Daring Do was wearing; Rainbow Dash immediately recognized it as Rarity’s work.

“Ah!” said the stallion, his attention suddenly turning to a passing waiter. He removed several exceedingly tiny but no-doubt expensive appetizers. He attempted to pass them to his wife, but she waved them away in annoyance, not once taking her eyes off Daring Do. The stallion took this in stride and shrugged, deciding to eat both portions himself. “See, dear?” he said, laughing to himself. “I knew I recognized that mane! Ha! No matter where you go, Rainbow Dash, it’s impossible to mistake you for anypony else!”

“I’m more concerned with what, exactly, a pony like HER is doing here,” growled the pink mare.

“Spoiled. She’s a world-famous athlete. Of course she would be expected to attend cultured events, if she wants to.”

“Yes. But unfortunately cultured events like this are somewhat beyond the comprehension of the lower class.” She then literally scoffed. “Why they even let you in- -”

“They let her in because she is my plus-one,” said Daring Do, icily. She then gave Rainbow Dash a harsh glance just in time to force her to stifle a squeal of delight.

“And who might YOU be, then?” The pink mare squinted. “I don’t recognize you.”

“Actually,” said the stallion, rubbing his chin and squinting. “I think I might…”

Daring Do inhaled sharply. If Rainbow Dash knew these ponies, they were from the distribution range of her books. It was guaranteed that they would have read A.K. Yearling’s novels; they would know her secret identity.

The stallion’s expression suddenly lit up. “That’s it! You’re Well-To Do’s daughter!” He laughed. “I don’t suppose you remember me! Our fathers were friends. I believe I even met you once, but oh, that must have been when I was just a colt. And you were already nearly a mare.” He extended his hoof. Daring Do took it; despite his tacky appearance, he was relatively jovial. “My name is Rich,” he said. “And this is my darling wife, Spoiled.”

“Such appropriate names,” said Daring Do, glancing at Spoiled Rich with a sly smile. “My name is Daring Do. And you already know Rainbow Dash.”

“Of course! She’s the pride of Ponyville! No pony faster!” He leaned in. “Although to be truly honest- -you don’t make as much money as I have without a commitment to honesty- -in a hoof race? I’d put my money on Applejack Apple.”

“I’ll remember that,” said Daring Do, smiling and turning her eyes toward Rainbow Dash, who blushed.

“Of course you will,” sighed Spoiled. She turned her full attention toward Daring Do, ignoring Rainbow Dash. “I was not aware of your name, but I know who you are.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes.” Spoiled Rich smiled. It was not a pleasant expression. “It widely known that Well-To Do’s heir dismantled his lucrative art distribution company and spends most of her time squandering his fortune.” Her smile grew, and she tossed her hair. “But of course, I suppose that is to be expected for your kind.”

“My kind? What is that supposed to mean?”

Spoiled Rich’s eyes glittered. “Pegasi, of course. I don’t mean to be offensive, but it’s a biological fact. Your kind are poor with money. Sure, sometimes one will work hard, gain a fortune…but then his children will simply be lazy. And the betting…there is certainly a reason that you’re race built Equestria’s largest casino, isn’t there?”

“Spoiled,” said Rich, shaking his head. “Please, honey- -”

“You can’t talk to her like that!” cried Rainbow Dash, bristling. “You can’t talk about ANYPONY like that! I’m a Pegasus too, you know.”

“Oh, I know. A Pegasus who spends all of her time taking naps, drinking cider, and reading those idiotic children’s books.”

“Idiotic?” snapped Daring Do.

“WHAT?!” interrupted Rainbow Dash, her volume increasing as her normally blue color became increasingly more red. “You do realize I’m a senior member of the Ponyville weather distribution team? That I have been since I was TWELVE? AND an active member of the military in the Wonderbolts! AND a sitting member of the Royal Court of Friendship?!”

“Indeed,” sighed Spoiled. “Far too much responsibility for a member of the weakest race.”

“Weakest- -”

“Again, it’s simply a biological fact.” She laughed coldly. “But I’m glad, Rainbow Dash. I’m glad to see you’re moving to a career more suiting to one of your social status.”

Rainbow Dash appeared confused, but Rich and Daring Do instantly realized what she was saying. Rich just put his head into his hoof, and it was only because of his sake that Daring Do did not put a fist into Spoiled’s ridiculous upturned nose.

“Spoiled,” said Rich.

“Not now, Filthy! I’m putting a commoner in her place!”

“I don’t even understand what you said!” cried Rainbow Dash.

“Oh my,” said Spoiled, her tone suddenly becoming highly patronizing. “Trust me, dear, you’re not being nearly as discrete as you think you are. You appear at a party of this caliber preened and…well, somewhat fresh- -with a wealthy older mare known for wasting daddy’s money? How much is she paying you, exactly?” She laughed. “Because with you, I’m sure you don’t charge that much.”

Rainbow Dash’s face finally ceased to be blue and suddenly became deep red as she realized what Spoiled was implying.

“I’m not- - how dare you- -I’ll punch you right in your fat SNOOT!!”

“Ahem,” said a soft voice beside them.

The entire room suddenly went silent. Daring Do immediately knew why. Even after so long, she could still recognize that voice.

Rainbow Dash turned her head, clearly prepared to scream at whoever had interrupted her snoot punching. When she saw who had spoken, however, the color drained from her face.

Few unicorns could be described as “looming”. Wun Perr-Synt, however, was certainly one of that rare breed. She was tall and thin, and stood with a level authority that only a high-bred unicorn could accomplish. She towered over Rainbow Dash, and stared down at her with piercing blue eyes. Even her horn- -long, and just slightly curved, betraying her ancient heritage- -assisted in portraying her as a pony who was not to be trifled with by anyone with any sanity or intelligence.

She was not alone, however. As dominating as her presence was- -a late-middle age unicorn in a stunning silk and platinum dress and who possessed eyes that seemed to bore into a pony was not exactly a normal occurrence- -Daring Do had initially missed the stallion that stood beside her.

He was the opposite in every way. Unlike her, he was an earth-pony, and although he was tall- -though not nearly as tall as Wun- -he was oddly misshapen, giving him the appearance of having a bizarre manifestation of early obesity. Making the situation worse was that he had actually chosen to wear a green suit jacket with yellow plaid, worn, of course, with no tie and with the top several buttons open to reveal a hairy chest and several exceedingly wide gold chains. When he saw Daring Do looking at him, his eyes immediately turned to her- -and more specifically her wings. Then she saw him wink, and Daring Do could not help but note that he was the exact same shade of pink as Spoiled Rich.

The intimidating unicorn’s eyes quickly took account of each pony before her while her expression did not change in the slightest. Then, finally, her eyes settled on Daring Do.

“Dearest sister,” she said, her voice completely neutral, “this is certainly unexpected. I am pleased, though.”

Spoiled audibly gasped. “S- -sister?!”

“Not biologically,” snapped Daring Do.

“Of course not,” replied Wun. “That would be ridiculous.”

“Well,” laughed Filthy Rich, “the more family the better. Isn’t that right, Chunky?”

Chunky Milk, the earth-pony beside Wun, chuckled. “Sure is, Filthy,” he said. His voice was both high and weirdly gravely, making it strangely unpleasant. He put his hoof around Wun’s back, even as his eyes never once left Daring Do’s wings- -or her cutie mark. Several audible gasps came from throughout the room, but Wun remained completely stationary, as if Chunky was too insignificant for her to bother noticing.

“…and,” continued Chunky, “it’s all the better when your family has money. Isn’t that right, sis?”

Spoiled Rich glowered. Daring Do was not sure why. If she had been asked to guess, she would have supposed that it was because Chunky Milk’s new wife was significantly more wealthy than Spoiled Rich’s husband.

“Nevertheless,” said Wun, her voice and expression still seemingly impassive, “I am willing to admit that I am surprised that you are here. Perhaps you have finally decided to take up your father’s mantle and continue his business?”

Daring Do could barely prevent her expression from turning into an intense glare. “Not a chance.”

Wun smiled very slightly. “A pity,” she said. “Some of my most prized pieces were acquired through his company.”

“And oh boy what a collection it is!” laughed Chunky. “You wouldn’t believe it even if you saw it!”

“I think I would,” said Daring Do icily.

“I mean, I’ve been pricing it out over the last three months. I- -I mean we- -could probably buy half of Manehattan if we just sold a quarter of it- -”

He was silenced by a glare from one so withering that even Daring Do felt the urge to step back. Rainbow Dash actually did, and all the color drained from Chunky Milk’s face. He immediately tore his hoof away from his wife’s silk-clad back as though he had been burned.

“I’m just saying,” he stammered, “not the good quarter, just the junk!”

“Junk, you say?” said Wun, silently. Her expression had not changed terribly much, apart from her eyes. Daring Do recognized that expression well. Although he had been more animated, it was a look that Wun’s father had given her on more than one occasion.

Spoiled smiled cruelly. “Should I get a shovel, Chunky? So you can keep digging yourself even deeper?”

“There is no need,” said Wun. “I understand that my dear husband is of course joking. My collection represents a great deal of effort and sacrifice, both from myself in terms of cost and from many other ponies in terms of other aspects. I do not intend to part with any of it, ever. Except perhaps to pass it to an heir, when that time comes.”

At the mention of an heir, both Chunky and Spoiled’s eyes lit up. An heir that would, no doubt, give the Milk family vast influence over the most powerful trade in southeastern Equestria.

“Well,” laughed Chunky, “if you want, after the party- -”

“My dear husband,” interrupted Wun, “I am attempting to speak with my sister. Kindly follow your brother-in-law’s tactful example and become silent.”

Chunky looked as though he had been struck, but still managed to laugh. “Well, sure,” he said. “I’ll let you two babes talk. That’s what mares like to do more than anything, isn’t it?” He turned to Rainbow Dash and an exceedingly unpleasant smile crossed his face. He stepped forward, causing Rainbow Dash to gag on the exceedingly potent scent of his cologne. “But I do like being social. So how about I take your niece here and…show her around?” He momentarily took his eyes off Rainbow Dash’s wings and winked at her. Rainbow Dash shivered violently.

“I’m not going anywhere,” said Rainbow Dash once she had recovered. “Except maybe outside.”

“Oh!” said Chunky, raising his eyebrows expectantly. “Outside?”

“Yeah. So I can punch YOU in the snoot!”

Rainbow Dash made an exceedingly rude gesture, and Chunky jumped back in surprise. Spoiled looked as though she were about to faint, but Filthy burst out laughing. Even Wun herself smiled, albeit very weakly.

“How charming,” she said, her gaze turning back to Daring Do. “She has a fiery spirit. I can see that she takes after her mother.”

Daring Do said nothing, but she did allow herself to smile as she watched Chunky retreat behind his wife’s flank like a child who had just been told he could not play with a new toy.

“That was amusing,” continued Wun. “If only mildly. However I am more interested in why you are here, Daring.”

“There was something I wanted to speak to you about.”

“You?” cried Spoiled. “Speak to HER?!”

“I am equally surprised,” said Wun, although neither her expression nor her voice betrayed it. In fact, it almost seemed that she had anticipated this series of events. Daring Do wondered just how much she knew about the Hand of Doom. “Considering that despite our relation, you and I are not friends. Nor are you friends with the majority of my business associates.”

Wun’s eyes moved slowly toward a pony that Daring Do could not see. She turned sharply, and found herself face-to-face with a dark-colored earth-pony in a well fitted dark suit and silken ascot.

Rainbow Dash gasped in horror and, oddly, excitement. “Caballeron!” she cried, taking a fighting stance. Daring Do, likewise, prepared for a fight.

“Now now,” said Cabbaleron, holding up a hoof dismissively. “Daring, my dear! You should know better. Fighting at a fine party such as this?” His eyes glimmered smugly. “You wouldn’t want to offend our generous and much beloved host, now, would you?”

Rainbow Dash rushed forward, but Daring Do stopped her. She already knew what was happening- -and that fighting Caballeron here would be impossible.

“Indeed,” said Wun, “Dr. Caballeron is currently one of my most successful suppliers since the collapse of your father’s company. As you are aware, I am not an adventurer. Simply a lover of history. I prefer my pieces to arrive clean, without excessive dirt, boxed and prepared for display. And Caballeron always delivers.”

“But- -but he’s evil!” cried Rainbow Dash.

“Not from my perspective,” said Wun, calmly.

Rainbow Dash pushed against Daring Do’s grip, but Daring Do held her firm. “Daring?” she said, confused. “But- -but he’s right there!”

Caballeron chuckled. Then he leaned forward to both of them. “There is more than one way to trap a pony. And not all of them require me to bind you with rope.”

Caballeron walked past them. Trailing him was a mare who was apparently his date. She was a white Pegasus with long auburn hair and wingtips, and she wore a complicated but elegant black dress. She spoke little, but eyed Daring Do with intense hatred. Only then did Daring Do notice the strange blue-green milkiness of her eyes. Those eyes gave Daring Do a strange but clearly bad feeling.

“Lady Perr-Synt,” he said, bowing deeply. Although Wun did not show it, Daring Do knew that she was greatly pleased. She loved when ponies bowed to her.

Chunky’s eyes narrowed. “That’s ‘Lady Milk’ to you.”

“Indeed! Congratulations on your marriage. Love is such a beautiful thing, isn’t it?”

“It is,” said the Pegasus beside Caballeron, immediately snuggling her face against his side. Spoiled suddenly looked exceedingly nauseous, although Daring Do could not tell if it was from seeing an earth-pony bowing before a high-blooded unicorn or seeing that his apparent lover was a dirty Pegasus.

“It certainly is!” said Filthy Rich, hugging his wife only to be pushed promptly away. He seemed to care little, though, as he had clearly grown used to it. “See, darling? I told you we weren’t the only earth-ponies there.”

“Yes. Although clearly the only ones of any monetary worth.” She chuckled to herself, and the white Pegasus glared at her.

“Lady Perr-Synt is certainly generous,” she said. She had a strange accent that Daring Do could not place. “I was not aware that any new-money would be attending this party.”

Spoiled gasped in horror at the inconceivable insult and turned several shades darker. Caballeron just frowned deeply.

“Argiopé,” chastised Caballeron, “there is no need to be rude.”

“Exactly, Herr Doktor.”

“Although I do agree that this event is quite generous. You certainly spared no expense.”

“I never spare expense. There is no need to. I am wealthy.”

Daring Do stood next to Caballeron. She was only feet away, but knew there was nothing she could do about it. The expression on the face of the mare Argiopé toward her roughly represented what Daring Do was feeling toward Caballeron, although Daring Do hid it better.

“I am curious, Caballeron,” she said. “As to why you are even in Signapone? Did you come all the way out here for this party?”

Caballeron laughed. He was certainly enjoying himself, knowing that he had Daring Do at a disadvantage. Daring Do could almost hear Rainbow Dash’s teeth grinding, but the young mare had mostly gone silent. She was watching this from afar, just as she would as if she were reading it in a book.

“Well, my dear,” he said, “while it certainly is an honor to witness the legendary Perr-Synt collection- -”

“Milk,” corrected Chunky.

“- -I truly came to wish my most loyal- -and most beautiful- -customer best wishes on her recent wedding.”

“And you already did that,” snapped Chunky. “So you can go now. And stay away from my wife.”

Wun ignored him completely. “Thank you, doctor,” she said.

“Although I must apologize for my lateness. I was terribly busy and missed the wedding itself!”

“Because you weren’t invited,” said Chunky. “Only rich ponies allowed.”

Caballeron winced slightly. Daring Do had rarely seen him express this much patience; in any other setting, Chunky would be bound and quite possibly tied to the back of a manticore by now.

“It was a lavish affair,” bragged Spoiled. “It was held on an entire flotilla out on the bay.” She glared at Filthy. “Certainly not held in a small-town courthouse.”

“My father was married in that courthouse,” said Filty, sighing as though he knew exactly where this argument was going. “And Diamond Tiara will be married there, too, if she chooses- -”

“My daughter will NOT be married in that dusty old building! I expect you to pay for a NAVY! And have a real Celestian priest, not just the mayor!”

“But I find myself wondering, Daring,” continued Caballeron, ignoring all other ponies save for her and Wun, “what you are doing here? Because I doubt we came here for the same purpose. That would simply be ridiculous…”

“I came here because I have business with Wun.”

“Ah. Not trying to move onto my most profitable customer, are you?”

“There would be not competition,” added Wun. “I would gladly purchase from you both.”

“You don’t have to worry. I wouldn’t sell to her anyway. EVER.”

“A shame. Because she is quite generous.” He cleared his throat. “But if you will excuse me, Daring, I need to speak with my client in private. Concerning some new developments in archaic translation techniques I would like to discuss. Certainly something you have no formal training in, I’m sure.”

Argiopé leaned over Caballeron, moving her front legs in such a way to indicate that the entirety of her chest was exposed, complete with significant Pegasus chest-fluff. She smiled harshly. “Indeed,” she said. “The doctor is a very cunning linguist!”

She licked her lips, and Daring Do could have sworn she had a forked tongue. Then she departed with him, leaving Daring Do alone with Filthy and Spoiled Rich, as well as Rainbow Dash.

“I’m going to get some punch,” said Rainbow Dash through gritted teeth. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

Daring Do grabbed her shoulder. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

Rainbow Dash nodded, and then walked off.

There was silence for a moment. “Well,” said Filthy Rich at last. “I think that went pretty well, didn’t it? These parties are always so lively. Ms. Do, would you like to accompany my wife and I to the refreshments table?”

Daring Do sighed. “Thank you. But I’ve been out of society for a long time. For good reason, I think. That was really stressful. I need to cool off.”

“Of course. But don’t be a stranger! I have pictures of my daughter if you’d like to see them! She’s absolutely adorable! She looks just like her mother!”

Daring Do winced, and started to walk toward a less populated area of the room.
 

Comments

[AppleTank]

This is a very complicated family reunion

"From my point of view, he's not evil"
"Then you are lost!"