• Member Since 13th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Jan 4th, 2017



Scootaloo has always idolized Rainbow Dash. When Dash agreed to teach her, she was positively thrilled. Unfortunately, accidents happen. Rainbow Dash isn't good at dealing with the consequences of her actions.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 102 )
#1 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · ·



I dont get it....

Explain please


#4 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · ·


Basically, Scoot's father never touched Rainbow Dash. All of her wounds were self-inflicted out of grief, Scootaloo actually died not long after her first accident.

The message is lost if I have to explain it.


5/5. Well done.

Oh, goody......usually it's Pinkie who's playing Queen of Denial but to see RD go nuts is kinda chilling. Forgivable given the circumstances:applecry::fluttercry::raritycry: but all the same.....

53960 Thats what i thought....

I jsut thought it was something else. D'ho well, Sad fics arent really my thing anyway.


I'm not understanding EVERYTHING, here. I get that it's a funeral, but was she hallucinating or something, that Scoots was still there? I'm so confused :rainbowhuh:

Ooh... That really hits hard... Bravo on that story but still...:applecry:

This is a good story just...a major buzz kill.

#11 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · ·

...Ouch. Didn't expect that.


RD wasn't really hallucinating, she was unable to come to terms with what had happened to Scootaloo, what ended up happening was that her mind made her think that Scootaloo was fine (besides the injuries from the accident), the bruises that were on RD were self-inflicted even though in her eyes is that it was scoots dad who did it.

What happened to RD is what usually happens to a person who experiences something extremely traumatizing, they know what happened, but their mind would play out a completely different scenario so they wouldn't have to deal with the truth.

Good. More delusional ponies and drama!

Damn. The moment it became clear what exactly was going on, even though Dash didn't realize it, was like a shot to gut. As far short stories in this fandom goes, this is up there with Forever is Forever in terms of execution and sheer emotional impact.

Your writing is too sporadic. I read the comments and was able to figure out what happened, but you need to make it clearer in the story. I think this story could be a quarter longer than it currently is if you added more descriptions and ideas of what's going on. SHow more scenes. I was left very confused at the end. You need to be more clear with what's going on. Otherwise the impact of what you're going for is lost on the readers.

Either this story doesn't do it for me or it's just not well written enough. Meh :ajsleepy:


Weird, I didn't have any problems piecing together what was going on myself despite the necessary amount of ambiguity in the story. Was there any specific things that threw people off?

#19 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · ·

Good one. I had a pretty solid guess at how the story would end, still that final sentence really got to me.

#20 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · ·

She was hallucinating. Its also why she kept hitting herself

Third one of these (exact same) fics I've seen, but still good. Dash does seem to be the one to pull the Scrubs ending on, doesn't she?

O o..... o shit wow ok damn that was good i thought scoots dad was a bitch but now i understand

O o..... o shit wow ok damn that was good i thought scoots dad was a bitch but now i understand

#25 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · ·

Holy shit, the ending brought out a massive emotional response for me.

Oh god, it's like that one Scrubs episode. Manly tears, activate. :fluttercry:

why do we fall ? so we can learn to pick ourselves up

it was a great read, even though i don't really like tragedy stories there's enough of that in the world already

well written, it kept me reading, which is all you can ask for in a story, keep up the good work :twilightsmile:

CL #29 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · 4 ·

A Rainbow Dash coaching Scootaloo fic?
Are these even written by people any more or is there a factory somewhere dedicated to shipping this out along with every other overused genre such as shipping and background pony stories.
This type of story steals the spotlight, undeservedly so from other stories.
The story itself? Lacks creativity, that compiled with the fact that this type of story is about as common as hay in a haystack. The writing is nothing special. This gets a, in my mind, deserved 1.5/5

I don't want to be seen as the kind of guy who can't take criticism but HOLY SHIT I am pretty sure you didn't actually read this. This is absolutely NOT another Dash trains Scoot fic.



I'm not trying to change opinions here, but it's pretty obvious you didn't read the story at all

CL #32 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · 2 ·

Doesn't matter what I call it.
It's all the same, creativity lacking repetition at the end of the day, isn't it?


By your logic, you can literally say that for every single fanfic written out there

CL #34 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · 2 ·

Not really.
Whether it's a dash training scoot, Dash dealing with death, Scoot recovering. * Yes, I skimmed to the end, and I stand by my rating* It's all the same grinding repetition that's usually very highly prized by the community we're a part of, unfortunately so.
Why be innovative when you can do the same as everyone else until you copy their results?

Oh. I... Hang on a minute.



Okay. Wow. That was intense. You totally had me going through the whole thing. I admit, I was a bit confused at first, but that may have been because I skipped over a line that indicated Scootaloo's father was talking at the end. I get it now. This is... so sad. I can hardly imagine the pain... to cause your mind to lie to you like that. I mean, I've heard of such things, but... I never had any siblings. Or anyone who was LIKE a sibling to me. This got me closer to understanding that sort of feeling. Thank you.

No, you don't get it and this is not the same. For one, I took a big risk and gave this story a decidedly UNhappy ending. Spoilers, Scoot is dead.

Berate me for my low quality writing all day, but do NOT accuse me of doing something I did not do.

CL #37 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · 1 ·

I'm not accusing you of doing something you didn't do.
I'm accusing you of doing something uncreative.
You killed off a side pony / CMC much to the grievance of one of the mane six.
Congratulations, you are the 99%

Okay then, just as long as we're clear on the part where you accuse a story you didn't read of being unoriginal for being about X, then get called out on it when it's really about something else, THEN stick to your guns and claim Y is also unoriginal, without having read the story to know whether or not it's about Y.

CL #39 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · 2 ·

I read the story. I know what "Y" is.
It's also unoriginal.
You haven't got a creative bone in your body.
It doesn't matter though.
As I stated previously, the patrons of this site pride themselves on their unbound love of all things repetitive.
You'll be fine.
And no.
You totally don't look like the guy who can't take criticism.

I like hamburgers (stick with me here).

Now, a lot of places make hamburgers. Some places make them better than others (Hardee's, Culver's). Some places make them worse (McDonald's). When rating burgers, something like a 1.5/5 describes a horrible burger... take the McDouble (please). Palatable, technically a burger, but it tastes like the oversalted crap it is.

My point? A 1.5/5 is a bad story. Not one that's a genre you've seen overdone; not a plotline that you don't like. A bad story, something that is a poor example of its niche. Personally, I thought this story was rather decent. Not an incredible story, no. It could have stood to be longer, perhaps with more of a "mystery" to it, and to what's happening. More like The Machinist, perhaps, or Session 9. However, it's head and shoulders above some of the real crap I've seen out there in terms of stories with twist endings like this one has. It had well thought-out hints as to what was happening, enough there that you could piece things together fairly, and was a "pony goes crazy" story that didn't go Cupcakes or Rainbow Factory on everypony.

What's more, if you don't read a vast quantity of fics like this one (which I, at least, don't), then it's doubly novel.

Am I going to change your opinion? Probably not.

But I hope that, in the future, you'll think about more than "does this concept irritate me?" before rating. Rating fics prior to reading them - even if you're right - cheapens rating systems.

#41 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · ·

CL is troll.

CL #42 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · 2 ·


CL #43 · Dec 6th, 2011 · · 2 ·

I'd also like to point out to everyone I did read a portion of it. I did rate before I was done reading. I then read it and I stick by my rating wholly.
You're going too much for the "Woooo I just fucked your mind" Aspect.
That, combined with the fact this is uncreative, nothing special, and another god damn fic based around Rainbow Dash. I'm depressed to see this rate above the 2's.

So... uhm... were you commenting on the part that was TL, or the part that you D-fucking-R?

CL #45 · Dec 7th, 2011 · · 2 ·

I said I didn't read it.
I skimmed that bitch.

If you aren't going to read the fucking story, you can't say shit about it.
Writing from the point of view of someone who is in this much denial would be difficult to say the least.
And >>theworstwriter did pretty well.
Was it an original idea? Not exceptionally. But from the perspective? It's new to me.

CL #47 · Dec 7th, 2011 · · 1 ·

Hmm...you'd think that.
I got the general theme of the story, and after reading it I, as said, stuck by my rating.
If anything I didn't rate it harshly enough.

#48 · Dec 7th, 2011 · · ·

54571 Is this the part where I get to call you out for writing an OC pony story? Like the majority of writers here? Not very creative...

54414 Do I need to mention why I consider your reasoning bullshit, or can you figure it out on your own?

At least it's good to know you're perfect. It's also nice to know that this story, which actually can at least do grammar and spelling decently deserves a low mark because you don't like the theme. Might I ask who was whipping your ass to read this then? Oh wait, you didn't do that either, right? You're putting down an actually competently done fic, all because you're bored of the premise, refuse to read it and just go for the knee-jerk. Congratulations, you're attained the level of fandom troll, because there is no other way I can summarize the way you're acting.

#50 · Dec 7th, 2011 · · ·

CL, you're coming off sounding like those automatic contrarion types who instantly declare anything popular to be utter shit. Words like "theme" exist because if every single story had to be absolutely 100% unique, people might as well have stopped writing centuries ago.

"Star Wars is crap because there were already stories about space, war, and good vs evil!" If a story is bad, say so based on its own merits, not because someone somewhere has done something somewhat similar at some point in time.

And any story about Rainbow Dash is bad by default? Seriously? I shouldn't have even bothered saying anything, because you pretty much made my point for me with that comment.

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