• Member Since 13th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Jan 4th, 2017


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Comments ( 12 )

Eh, nothing I haven't really seen before. For what it is, though, it's rather decent.

Also, I like the idea of saturating the air with magical energy. It's always pleasing when people come up with new ways to apply magic.

Bit different from your run-of-the-mill alicorn-Twilight fic. Definitely enjoyed it.
That Gulvain character wasn't all that interesting, then again, neither was King Sombra. Then again AGAIN, It didn't seem like he was really the main point of this story.

While it didn't quite strike me as strongly as some of your other fics do, I like the feel of your short one-offs.

Keep bein' awesome, I'll keep reading.

Always two there are. A master and apprentice.

Goodbye... Celestia. :ajsleepy::fluttershysad::pinkiesad2::rainbowderp::raritydespair::twilightsmile:


Don't get me wrong, the scene between Celestia and Twilight was heartfelt, but the villain? Meh. It feels like you took a piece of a cardboard and painted an angry face on it. I know this is intended to be a brief story, a blurb at best, but still, there's no real sense of menace to this guy. You could've just started the story with Twilight waking up in the realm beyond time and space, slowly remembering how she got there and why.

Tangential, sleep-deprived ramble incoming!

Considering that the entirety of his presence can fit on a page or two, I'm surprised he's even got as much texture as cardboard.

I thought about this thing a little more before bed last night, and I think I thought of a few things. This piece ISN'T particularly evocative, but for some readers it's still managing to have an impact. It's not because my wording was just that powerful, and it's not because I built up to it. It's what I'm now thinking of as "the fanfiction shortcut." A lot of things manage to go unsaid because you already know them. I don't HAVE to build Celestia - you know who she is. There's still work that needs doing in making sure she fits properly, but the foundation is already there.

Don't get me wrong, here, that's not a strike against fanfiction that uses this to its advantage. We all know there's amazing work around here, lots of which doesn't bother retreading old ground. Well constructed scenes making use of fully realized characters and the development of those characters are separate tasks, and it's totally possible to do one and not the other.

I think this is getting to why my natural tendency is to write shorter and why I'm having such a hard time writing my favoritest little project. I never had any experience writing before I got into pony and showed up here, so I've wound up learning with the shortcuts of an established world already there. I take those shortcuts every chance I can get, so what I make ends up more compact and less descriptive. I take foundational elements for granted, without bothering to confirm they're what I need (or that they even exist). Then, when I need to throw original characters into the mix... well, it doesn't work so well. In the end, my project is going to be a really good thing for my writing as a whole, because it'll force me to do all the work.


And so I'm left to ponder the outcome...

Very brief story, Worsty. I gotta say that what you provided is kinda all that was needed though, even with a villain arguably more vague than Sombra. That said, I enjoyed reading this.

Ooooh.... That was kinda dark at the end!:pinkiegasp:

Wait, I'm confused, if this is written after season 3, then how did Cadence ascend?

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