- Member Since 18th Jul, 2016
- offline last seen April 19th
Dreams of Ponies
I believe if there's any kind of god, it wouldn't be any of us. Not you or me, but just, this little space in between.
Dreams of Ponies
Joined 18th Jul, 2016 ·
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- Dreams of Ponies · 1.6k words · 20 1 · 671 views
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Not bad, Dreams, not bad.
Honestly, if you want my opinion, (And while I'm your competitor, so feel free to disregard this advice), this feels like part of a story, and not a full story itself. There's no background information on the characters, nothing. We're just introduced to them, and that's that. I suspect this might have worked better if you actually included the sex scene that's hinted at. Funny as hell, but not much substance.
I wouldn't know, I didn't see anything.
For how short it is, you make a lot happen. Maybe a bit too quick, but whatever! I can suspend my disbelief long enough to enjoy a couple ponies having fun and trying to make a deadline. It's a fun idea, and I appreciate how much you did without going into the actual act.
Nice
8525333
I appreciate it, bud. There are drawbacks to stories this short, but I wanted it to feel like a comedy skit--a very small slice of life
Dreams, you crafty Bat-stard...
I liked this a lot more than I thought I would. A lot happens with little detail; maybe a little too quick, but a fun story nonetheless. Gives me some ideas for how to structure things if what I'm after is a quick contest entry.
HE MADE ME READ IT ALOUD TO HIM HES A MONSTER A MONSTER!!!!!! *CRYING INTENSIFIES*