Twilight Gets a Puppy
By TDR
Over a Basset,
Part 4
[ One explanation of the situation later.]
THONK.
THONK.
THONK.
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and a host of Buffalo continued to watch Twilight and her brother.
THONK.
THONK.
After the discussion Rahs had screamed out and promptly flopped down on the ground and pulled his coat over his head. Annoyed mutters and whining were heard from under it.
Twilight on the other hoof had started smacking her head against a nearby totem pole and had put a nice sized dent in the lowest image of what seemed to be a hawk.
THONK.
THONK.
Neither of them seemed to be willing to explain themselves any time soon on their own.
The other mares quickly went into a huddle, which was rather easy given that Fluttershy had pretty much tackled Pinkie the moment she saw the pink mare was okay and hadn't really let go just yet. There was some muttering pointing at one another and with a few more mutters and questions, the five drew straws to see who would be stuck asking the pair what was going on.
Applejack lost because Dash cheated.
“Alright that's enuff you two... Twi quit damaging some elses property and tell us what tha hay is going on with you two?” Applejack sighed opting to just get it over with. Granted she did this from behind Rainbow Dash who she held in front of her like a shield in case something happened, much to the cheating Pegasus' annoyance.
“Applejack how long has Princess Luna been free?” Twilight asked, though at least she stopped smacking her head into the wood.
“Hmm. well tha Summer Sun Celebration. was bout five months ago now, so five months?” Applejack concluded keeping the squirming cyan pony between her and the strangely calm purple one.
“ Right. And with what you know of her, how do you think she's taken to simply letting her sister simply continue to run things?” Twilight asked.
“Given that uppercut she gave, prolly not well.” Applejack admitted.
“Right, now then. Picture both sisters arguing over something, both of them having valid points in their choice and neither willing to back down. Got it? Good. Now also add in that neither of them wants to fight over anything serious again after what happened last time. Who do they call to help them solve their differences?” Twilight continued.
“Err, an adviser?” Applejack guessed.
“Princess Luna doesn't trust any one who works with Princess Celestia not to take Princess Celestia's side out of habit.” Twilight grumbled.
“Ooookay....” Applejack commented dropping Dash finally. “ That don't explain much unless..... oh. Oh no....”
“Oh, yes.... any time the pair has a spat or disagreement they send me a letter or just show up at my house to ask me to decide for them.” Twilight grumbled. “ Princess Luna trusts me because I saved her and princess Celestia still considers me her student and she had me doing some light legal work before I came here as part of my classes.”
“Oh dear, what about Moon Dancer?” Rarity asked. “ Wasn't she helping Princess Luna adjust to the modern age?”
“She was.” Twilight said against the wood. “ For the first few months. But after they teleported in unannounced one night with an argument on whether or not Chocolate Cake was better than Red Velvet cake. They arrived while Moon Dancer was... 'entertaining' her new colt friend, and they decided then that perhaps someone else might have the free time they needed when they had issues.”
“Caught um with a bit of the ole in and out huh?” Dash snarked getting a swat to the back of the head from Rarity.
“Pretty much. It also hurried their choice of a new mediator that Moon Dancer somehow managed to throw both alicorn Princess out of her house physically hard enough to do damage to her neighbors wall. She then warded her house against intruders so heavily that no one can even see it any more from outside. I really need her notes on that.”
“Ummmm” Rarity blinked. “Good for her on getting a colt friend?”
“That's a silly question any way. Red Velvet cake IS chocolate cake after a chemical reaction with vinegar.” Pinkie Pie snorted.
“So now that that has been explained, also do note that the pair of them argue like siblings in their teens.” Twilight went on.
Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and a few Buffalo winced.
“Then add in this grandmother nonsense Princess Luna has with Rahs and they both have been practically living at Golden Oaks for the last month, complaining and eating all my ice cream!” Twilight screamed. “And Now, NOW, we have a modern edict from Princess Celestia, competing with an ancient proclamation from Princess Luna, a mare, who I might add with no small bit of disdain, NEVER KEPT ANY RECORDS WHAT SO EVER OF WHAT SHE DID!!!”
Rahs whined from under his coat.
“Right we came out here to get away from that crap for a few days, and we're in the middle of it again!” Twilight tossed her hooves in the air with a curse and fell onto her back.
“Ah, wondered why you two were so gun ho bout getting outta Ponyville.” Applejack commented.
“Sooo, what's the plan?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Twilight let out a loud sigh and sat up, her magic grabbing Rahs' coat and pulling him from under before both of them got up and dusted off after a look to each other. Rahs readjusted his hat to hide his eyes all menacingly like trying to act cool even though he had been whimpering on the ground a moment before. And Twilight just looked tired, though there seemed to be smoke coming from her long mane and tail.
“The plan is to work out a compromise, we get the Chief to meet with the Sheriff so that something can be hammered out between the two.” Twilight stated, brushing a few splinters from her mane before pulling the tresses of her long hair back over her head to spill across her shoulder. “ And we do this before I feel a need to vent my unwarranted anger and frustration on those that do not deserve it by hammering it all out myself... with a real hammer.”
“Yeah that would be good.” Applejack muttered.
[Later back in AAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPAAALOOMPH.....
” Stuff it Braeburn”]
“You know I figured you would be more vocal about this darling, given that this is your family and all.” Rarity whispered to Applejack as the pair sat in the meeting, listening to the Chief and the Sheriff trying to remain calm in their discussions under the watchful and somewhat menacing gaze of Twilight Sparkle.
“Both sides got good points even though ah don't get what tha Buffalo do a stampede fer or why they can't go around the orchard. “ Applejack sighed. “ Ah wanna side with mah kin, but they both make good points an ah don't like tha idea that tha land might be stolen.”
“Mm valid points. I suppose that movie we watched back in town hall made you consider this?” Rarity pondered.
“Not really, that thing was more annoying than anything else, burnt my biscuits at how insulting it was too, but again ah could see where ah went wrong there with Zecora, an ah'd rather not do that again, so ah'm staying out of this.”
“A wise choice.” Rarity nodded.
“Also Twilight currently scares that tar outta me and ah ain't want none of that.”
“Also, a wise choice.”
[Much later]
“That went surprisingly well.” Fluttershy stated breaking the silence as the group sat around a table in the towns only tavern, slash, inn, having a snack of some of the excessive pie that had been made for some reason.
“Weren’t much too it either. They just had tah clear a path outta the middle of the orchard. Trees ain't got time tah put their roots that deep yet, they'll lose a bit of a harvest, but it ain't enough to cause a fuss. “ Applejack pointed out waving a fork with a bite of pie on it around. “Tha fact tha stampede happens at just tha right point in time tah help shake loose tha harvest ain't a bad thing either.”
“Bork.” Rahs snapped downing a whole slice of pie in one bite. His fourth, but at least there wasn't a mess.
“It wasn't that bad!” Pinkie Pie muttered getting a glare from the others after her little song and dance number nearly caused a riot in the middle of the negotiations. Only the particularly scary unicorn and large canine with her kept the talks from collapsing completely.
“Darling Sweetiebelle's last talent show when she tried to juggle plates was better planed and executed than that. My dear Opal sounds more musical when she is bathed.” Rarity sighed. “ My current concern however, is Twilight.”
“Mmmfff?” Twilight questioned with a mouthful of pie, her muzzle already a mess. She swallowed hard wiping her face off with a napkin.”What about me?”
“You got like super pissed and threatened to like explode everyone!” Rainbow Dash waved her fore legs in the air splattering the table with pie. She was the only reason no one called Twilight out on her table manners as the Pegasus was worse, not that Pinkie was much better.
“Woof.” Rahs pointed out.
“How does taking her frustration and anger out on everyone differ from blowing everypony up?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“Bark.” Rahs added pointing at himself.
“Well I hope you're still alive.” Fluttershy muttered.
“What fuzzball is trying to say is, when I get frustrated that tends to turn into anger pretty quickly. “ Twilight sighed. “Depending on how big of a frustration it is depends on how angry. But Rahs is pointing out that he's still alive and no one annoys me more than him and Spike.”
“Darling that is not a valid reasoning. Spike and Rahs are both ridiculously tough. We've seen Spike fall off a ladder and hit the ground without so much as a scratch. It took him being thrown through a tree and into a chicken just for him to be a little dizzy.” Rarity muttered. “And we all watched you tackle Rahs down a flight of stairs not to mention seen him plow through a line of fence and a building with no damage. And as for you we have seen you flung about as you three brawled.”
“ Not to mention all the times I slammed into yah. Let's face it, you three are nuts, awesome, but nuts.” Dash agreed.
“ We ain't got any issues, but we're a bit worried yah might wind up hurting somepony at some point.” Applejack added.
“Bork.” Rahs added.
“Just because she hasn't yet, doesn't mean she might not accidentally do it.” Fluttershy added.
“It's fine Rahs I understand.” Twilight stopped him before Rahs could protest. “ Look I’ve been down here for a few months now. Everything's still new and I'm still adjusting to it. I'm also adjusting to the fact my teacher used me for her own ends, Luna's keeping something from us about Rahs that could be vital, Spike's in school, and I'm stressed ninety percent of the time now. It used to be I could just sit in my room and read for hours without being disturbed, or in my dorm room and research anything I wanted at any given point in time. Now I don't have time for anything like that before the crisis of the week shows up.”
The others looked around at each other, then back to Twilight.
“I'm working on it, I've read some interesting books on mediation, but I know I'm gonna be touchy for a while.” Twilight sighed. “Just, I'm sorry, just bear with me, a lot of stuff has happened really fast. And I've never really been used to dealing with Ponies.”
“Ah think ah getcha sugar, but keep in mind we are here for yah if yah need help.” Applejack stated. Rarity and Dash nodded in agreement while Pinkie and Fluttershy both hugged Twilight. Rahs simply smirked.
“While it is all well and good that you recognize the problem we do need to work on it while it is fresh in our minds. Something to calm you down so you are not as frustrated all the time.” Rarity considered. “ The spa does wonders for me. Aloe does a wonderful deep tissue massage.”
“My animals can be calming to me... maybe a pet?” Fluttershy offered before looking at Rahs. “ Something Rahs won't eat?”
“We have Mister Whipple.” Twilight offered.
“And that you don't have to study.” Fluttershy frowned not liking that they still had that first Parasprite.
“Work tends tah help me relax most times, let yer mind clear and just go.” Applejack stated.” Might help but you kinda do that when studying.”
“Not sure I can help you with flying.” Dash shrugged.” Need wings for that.”
“Bark!” Rahs grinned wide, flashing his fangs.
Fluttershy turned bright red and ducked under the table. Twilight growled though she too turned bright red and quickly went back to her pie. Pinkie Pie just laughed.
“That makes no sense, Twilight isn't an egg silly.” Pinkie Pie stated.
This chapter was so much fun!
I agree with Rahs. His suggestion would probably relieve the most stress for her.
going ot say what rah said at the end, was get laid or get colt friend
Yes rahs, yes she does need to. I recommend they ALL help her with that. You should let grandma Luna know to start the shipping. (Might even distract her from shipping him for a bit!)
Really, Twi? Really?
I did not know that. Also, how the heck is Twilight gonna find SOMEPONY to match her!? Her current choice at this point are the pervy Cloudkicker, Caramel the loser, Thunderlane the other loser, Big Mac, Cheerilee, Flash Sentry and Derpy. Wow. I just realized that even with upgrades in animation, Ponyville’s still majority female.
8806038
Eggs don't get colt friends.....
8806044
Sorry that's the wrong fic........ Twilights Haram is another story.
8806117
I have to have some continuation and a parasprite makes a great garbage disposal. As well as a midnight snack for a moon dog.
8806124 She's kinda already made her choice, but it's not had anything happen yet.
8806129
you right but it pinkie pie, we don't knew how her mind works all the time, for all we knew she think eggs would get you a colt friend.
8806124
In this universe, Twilight and Prince Blueblood are made for each other (I think). The only reason why they didn't get together in the first place is because Shining, Spike, Rahs, and Princess Celestia all tried to interfere with their first date to either sabotage it or make it happen.
I'm eagerly awaiting the day Blueblood shows up in this story again. I wouldn't be surprised at all if all he does while he's with Rarity is only talk about Twilight. :P
Care to spoil it for a non native speaker, please?
8806129
As much as I believe it's Big Mac, I'd love for it to be Cloudkicker or one of the non-standard mares, just because. But something tells me you'll surprise us nicely
8806154 It could happen, but Blueblood could try to backstab Twilight, though.
8806163
8806154 nah as said earlier BlueBlood's got another mare in mind. He and Twi are friends but that's it.
8806157
Nah while i do non hetro pairings in my stories Twi and her brothers are straight...... despite Rahs not acting it sometimes. Flipping Drama hound.....
8806157
I forgot some people might not know slang. Rahs suggested she get laid, or another term for fucking
8806135
I concede this point..
That last thing took me a minute.
8806163
One question: Why? Given how he has been portrayed in the chapters for "Dog Eat Dog", what possible motivation would he have for trying to backstab her? They parted from their date on very friendly terms.
8806253 Well, if Blueblood isn’t a whiny pansy, he’s usually a womanizer. He could take advantage of Twilight’s growing political power for all I know.
8806269
… I think you need to reread the "Dog Eat Dog" arc.
If Twilight manage to find a remedy for her anger/frustration management, she should publish it. It guarantee to be a bestseller since it got her "it works on me!" approval.
They kept a single parasprite for "study" and have since named it Mister Whipple...
I get the feeling that is the single most traumatized parasprite that has ever existed. It probably sees Rahs eat every one of it's offspring.
8806235
Maybe not a harem fic. But definitely adding Luna and the girls trying to get Twilight a date (or just laid) would be hilarious, Especially with Rahs using it to deflect from Luna getting HIM a date....
This is gonna seem super nit-picky but...
“Caught, um, with a bit of the 'ole in and out, huh?”
And now the wait for Twilight to chew out Celestia and Luna in a manner that would leave lesser ponies a sobbing wreck begins.
8807744
Don't overestimate Celestia and Luna. When Twilight gets mad,
only Pinkienobody is safe from the lecture.8806274
No, he's just unable to comprehend the idea that somebody else's canon might differ from his...
I love this AU Twilight.
Great chapter.
8807419
I think the um stands for 'them' and not for a pause :>
8807419
I think he meant "caught 'em with..."
She's probably still doing it... to a lesser degree sure, but she does have plans for you
Probably the Witch Wolf thing
Give it some time, she'll have wings soon enough
Aw man, I don't recall seeing Rahs' line of "normal" dialogue for this episode, did anybody catch it?
I've been taking a break from this fic - I regret it because I have so much catching up to do on top of the catching up I already needed, but at the same time I've got a lot of reading material to enjoy. I need to go to Readaholics Anonymous.
8807419
In addition to what the others said, "ole" is a variant of "old" and as such should not have an apostrophe at the beginning.
This was a really good, fun, and well done arc, loved it. Few bits at first that had me a bit leery of where it was going, but pulled them around and made it all work really damn well, set up some great worldbuilding, had a nice take on things, even if there is one glaring issue that seemed to be missed. Or that implies something really interesting about things here that has not even been hinted at. But will get to that.So notes...
Why the ponies? Cause this was when they were still getting things adjusted and figuring out how the world worked. For all the Faust worship at times about how things are too different, one thing I will give that she did I liked and really does seem to be a result of her input, was making the ponies act more like ponies, have these twists to the world that emphasized them being equines. But... yeah, AJ brought up a really, really good idea for this that.... surprisingly works. Headcanon accepted!
Of course we know the REAL reason is just to give Littlepip a headache a few centuries from now.
Eh, can't fault Dash needing to read something, not sure what's with the 'ewww' response.
.......... Eh still not sold at all on the Spike in School thing, and was a red flag for things going wrong, but, yeah story made it work really well with the substitution for Rahs here. Just still not a fan of the reason.
So, how about everypony start referring to Luna as 'Granny' when she comes by to play Grandmother to Rahs, see if that gets her to think twice about it.
I do love Rahs, self-reflective enough to get how his being moody is getting annoying and not want to piss off his friends, even if he has some good reasons to be short tempered. He's a really great guy all around.
Also able to be amused by the punny idea of a literal Train Robbery.
Oaaaakay story...question, how is the image of a gunslinger packing iron under their coat a thing in Equestria for Rahs to deliberately try to emulate it for show? I get firearms existing is established, but that was a long gun, not a handgun, could be a single shot pistol rather then a revolver I guess. But more importantly, how would that image occur with there only being one real bipedal species that would be able to create the image he's going for, and they don't seem the type to set it that indelibly in pop culture.
I get having a play about the western idea, that fits, though is still odd given the time period it's talking about is happening right now rather then being looking back, but, it's again, I can't see how Ponies would naturally get that image when a pony wearing a sidearm would look vastly different and carry it differently, more likely in a holster on their foreleg or shoulder then their hip, unless they are a unicorn, but most 'western' ponies we see tend to be earth ponies. Also nice reference.
I have a theory, that somehow, the link between all of them has caused all of Twilight's 'chill' to somehow leak to Spike. It would explain a lot.
Also, "whistling sound" ALL OF THE YES!
I was half expecting this to turn into an unexpected crossover where a yellow ring flies down onto Twilight's horn, and inducts her into the Sinestro Corp, cause holy damn is she terrifying.
So, minor quibble, the story is written in perspective swapping third person limited. Which makes referring to Little Strong Heart by name, when neither the story so far has even mentioned her, and the PoV character we are using at the moment has ever met or knows who it is, felt a tad jarring. Like a brief slip into Third Person Omniscient.
Okay, now onto the one kind of major issue here that does not work, and it's not my usual "This change doens't make sense" or something about altering the meaning of events, it's just pure math. The way the Buffalo claim to have been given these lands. Either one of two things have to be true, either it was not in fact Princess Luna who gave them to them, or the average buffalo lifespan is measured in centuries. They firmly say it was ten generations ago, Greatx8 Grandfather. So ten generations ago. And Luna has been absent of 1000 years. So, that means a buffalo generation would have to be over 100 years for this to be true. Given that a generation is about the average time after a member of that species is born, till they are likely to have offspring of their own,this would take over a century for buffalo? This in turn tends to be between 1/3 to 1/2 to average life expectancy, so again, they live 200-300 years? Or things are not what the ponies assume with it being Luna who did this. (Or the writer just failed to check their math of course )
I kept waiting for this to be revealed when someone stopped to think about the timing making it impossible for Luna to have done this.
Why did my mind flash to the "Equenso Ocha (sp)" scene from Ace Ventura 2 at the "Sik Imitaa'?
Also, yay Pinkie Logic.
...... Wow.... Fluttershy..... has some serious repressed issues. Not that I blame her.
Also, damn.... again, Twilight..... do not fuck with her family.
Leave the Coffee..... I am just freaking LOVING pissed of Twilight.
Meep Meep! Great bit, though, ehhh, felt a tad overdone to me, started amazing, then as the joke kept going, started dragging down, buuut, just me, still a hilarious reference.
"Land of Clear Stone" Ohhhh ohhh Story.... story....this is SO well done. It's a fitting name, makes sense for the Buffalo to call it this, feels perfectly natural, while being obscure enough and odd enough, while precise enough, for the reader to get what they are talking about, but not the characters in verse to get it. Setting up exposition and story threads for it for later, while keeping ti's reveal an in 'verse secret. So well done!
And more to the mystery of the Witch Wolves.... they came from Sombra!? Not NMM? Story did hint at some tie between the two already.
Also, yeah, so many expect spell casters to be weak and frail without their magic, always surprises them when they find out the caster can throw a punch. (See also, a wizard staff makes a great magical focus, but is also a massive chunk of wood you can beat someone's skull in with) I love the Harry Dresden school of being a wizard. All around epic story here.
Okay Rahs trying to sleep with the two was great, but, think swapping the ponies would have made more sense. We know RD snores, and the fluffing up his fur and snuggling in sounds more like Pinkie.
Now imagine a pissed off Twilight WITH access to the real RCV.
'Fear the Moon Dog's sister" indeed.
And yeah, I didn't get the allusion in the story either... well done story.
After her reaction to this (I did think it was because she did the math and realized what they claimed wasn't what the other ponies thought) I wonder what her reaction to the town fighting the buffalo with apple pies would have caused her to do.
RD does not make a good shield. Too lean and wiry.
"Still considers me her student" Yeah, story can never keep this straight and again, feels forced beyond that. Still fail to see how Tia did anything at all wrong here for Twi to go off like this and be so "She used me."
Porting in on Moondancer ummm.... wow.... why do I picture Luna starting to give them advice/encouragement right away?
Wow.... that is one protected house.
Go Pinkie! Listen to the baking expert!
Definitely like Aj's reasoning for not being all gun ho on supporting the town this time. Fear of pissing off Twilight is a very good motivator.
See the song not cuasing a war this time
Twi's the biggest pig in the family with no idea of neatness..... yup.. seems legit.
Fair point on Spike and Rahs being tough AF
Do also love the other Mane 6 here, and them being scared of Twi, but understanding, and once she's calmed down, talking it over with her, trying to offer ways to distress that make sense and could work, just, really being friends. Great scene
Also.. they named and kept the parapsrite...... I am not the least but surprised.
And again, yeah I am with Rahs on this. AJ, maybe go have a talk with Big Mac? It's for the good of Ponyville after all. Maybe even Equestria.
So yeah, again, really great all around arc.
9227821
I explained the gun thing earlier in another response. Too much slang is used in show canon' off like a shot' and the like , for there not to be guns. So head canon has it set that the tech is a little wonky. Given magic has so many work arounds for magic , things like Nintendos are around before cars and the like. Firearms are a primarly Minotaur device, they don't have much magic so they went tec and they are a fairly steam punk race in my head canon. Also why the big iron thing is in popular culture in regards to westerns is that the Minotaur produce most western plays and the few films around because they are literal cowboys..... I am not sorry for that pun.
Actually it was supposed to be over a thousand years but keep in mind the chief mesured it in moons .... a lot of moons. The buffalo were given the lands pre Nightmare by Luna.
Honestly at this point it depends on the mood.Twi sorta does sometimes think of her as a student, but any time she's annoyed she doesn't quite think it. In reality Celestia is still her teacher, but only through maybe a mail order program where she just gives ideas for what Twi should look into.
It's complicated.
Or i keep forgetting with everything else i write.
one of those.
No no, Luna is not giving advice to Moon Dancer....... Cadence on the other hoof.
Wait wait wait... is that true?
Fast facts; Pinkie Pie
9502396
Eggs are laid. Twi needs to get laid. Two different meanings, and one Pinkie Pie. Get the picture?
The egg joke to me a sec in my defense I have been up 16 hours on only 4 hours sleep
She may not be an egg, but she's certainly got one for a head!
10347299
Still needs to get laid tho
This is hitting home fore too much right now
This storys humor is of the highest grade. Lovely conclusion. Nice for ones to see Twilight see that Celestia uses her. To be fair... A leader has to!
Be a good person/pony or leader...
8978398
Its the best kind of addiction
8806018
Only to replace it with potencial relationship problems... Because Alicorn poping in when ever they are having fun and stuff
8806038
One usualy leads to the other.
8806044
Totaly worth the effort ♡
8806135
Because, why not?
8806038
Either that…or it was a reference to…scrambling eggs…
Season one can be awe inspiring, but nothing that can keep up with the stuff that is coming including Season 6
I don't care if innocents are scared mine was long gone by age 10-12 due to my parent using me as a fucking discount marriage therapist taking me away from my games and homework so they can argue without it escalating and I might add I'm a high functioning autistic with aspburger syndrome and PTSD from said parents so yeah no innocents what so fucking ever I need this joke
Why Mr. Whipple though? All I can think of is the old Charmin commercials and I don't see a connection between parasprites and toilet paper
Celestia and Luna probably prepare Twilight for the stress a nation leading brings along.
The could work in shifts:
P. Celestia 8 hours - 05-13
P. Twilight 8 hours - 13-21
Princ,Luna 8 hours - 21-05