I wish I hadn't.

It's quiet now.

It wasn't the tranquil peace of a Ponyville evening, when I would lose myself in a book at the Golden Oaks Library. This was complete and utter silence; it was deafening. My ears rang, attempting to hear something, anything that would cease the silence.

But there was nothing, only the sound of my own heartbeat, accompanied by my heavy breathing.

I wistfully gazed at the stain-glass window of my friends and I, remembering their faces as if I'd seen them only yesterday. In truth, a long time has passed; Equestria has finally stabilized now. Order has returned to Canterlot once again, and Celestia had assured me that such an event will never happen again in Equestrian history.

Comforting lies, surely. Not even a nigh-omnipotent diarch such as her could make a prediction like that. She’s a saint, not a prophet.

I put a hoof to the window, not feeling the warmth that likely emanated from the glass pane. I would've been crying if I had any more tears to shed, but I'd long since dried out; a husk of what I used to be.

It’s so quiet now...

I look back at that moment, and I play the scene in my head. Luna has warned me that dwelling on such thoughts would only lead to the grief festering, metastasizing like an unwanted cancer. Though I haven't felt pain in a long time, only a numbness that has frozen me in time; a macabre mannequin that only exists as physical space, and not much else.

I think of everything I could have done differently, of how that chest could have helped me. I'd give anything in the world to know what was inside of it. But I won't know, I will remain in ignorance forever, all because I didn't think fast enough.

Twilight, it isn't your fault, Celestia's maternal voice echoed in my mind, Tirek was a creature of absolute evil. Their deaths were a consequence of his own blood-lust.

I gave a dry mirthless chuckle. That may be so, Celestia, but that didn't mean I couldn't have done better. I may have beaten him, but he was the victor in the end. Though I admit, in my frenzied fervor, I had thoroughly enjoyed vaporizing that damnable demon to ash. His body wasn't even deserved of Tartarus, and I wasn't interested in giving Discord a playmate down there.

Discord, I seethed, his name seared into my mind, my thoughts plagued by his image. I almost blamed him just as much as I blamed myself. Even with all the sadness I'd felt in my heart, there would always be room to despise his existence. I never thought I was a pony who was petty enough to savor justice so much, like a foal enjoying a saccharine treat.

I had tried to turn him to ash as well. Unfortunately, the Lord of Chaos is immortal.

After breathing a heavy sigh, I stepped away from the window. Paying no attention to the decadent decor of Canterlot Castle, I approached a set of doors and gently pushed them open with my magic. I finally decided that I needed some fresh air, and that I wanted to hear the sounds of the birds chirping to rid myself of this Celestia-damned silence.

Fluttershy.

I choked back an unwanted breath as images of the kind pegasus flashed across my mind. Her melodic voice chimed in my ears, a soothing maternal harmony in it of itself.

We’re not worth it, Twilight.

Well, evidently it was always too good to be true, even Fluttershy couldn't tame chaos. Discord was too much, even for her.

Glancing down at the garden, I slowly made my way down the steps, shivering slightly as a stray breeze ran through my coat and mane.

It was still quiet, out here.

The wildlife may have sensed my aura of despair that certainly radiated off of me, for they were normally active at this time of day. Instead, they distanced themselves from me as much as possible. Maybe it was out of respect, though that was an unlikely probability. I didn't know, I just wanted to hear them today.

...

I wish he hadn't killed them the way he had.

...

I wish I could have at least seen their bodies at their funeral. I made sure that their coffins were buried by the ruins of my old home.

...

I exhaled, my breath slowly being slowly sapped from my lungs as my body deflated in apathy. I made no effort to retain nor restrict the air seeping from my snout, and only unconscious necessity forced me to breathe in once more.

...

It was somewhat comforting to say the least, the funeral. Back then, the adrenaline was still coursing through my veins. I was too focused, too desperate to take it all in at once. I had to stay alive and beat him, I had to do it for my friends and for the good of Equestria. It was my role as ‘Princess Twilight Sparkle’.

I gave a lifeless smirk. What role did I have now? Tirek is dead, Discord has been imprisoned and my friends are...

They're gone.

What good is the Princess of Friendship without her friends?

...

I shared only the company of misery now.

I couldn't remember how long I had been sitting in that garden. Too long, I suppose, for the sun was at its apex in the sky when I had come out. Celestia's golden rays were beginning to paint the horizon in a spectacular array of reds, oranges and pinks, a kaleidoscope of color that was absolutely phantasmic to the naked eye.

Soon, it would give into Luna's night sky; adorned with stars that almost seemed to bleed into the foreground, a black abyss that was more akin to a loving mother's embrace than a cold unknown predator.

I hated it, I hated it all.

I hated how perfect it was, how beautiful it was. I hated how normal it was, how quickly everypony had adjusted to the death of five martyrs, my friends.

I hated myself.

...

I hated how I couldn't do anything to stop him. I hated that he killed them in such a brutal fashion without even batting an eye. I hated how "sorry" Discord looked as I attempted to erase him from his pitiful reality. I hated how he didn't even try to fight back when I had finally given up and sent him to Tartarus for the rest of eternity.

I hated that I won.

...

I stood on the peak of Canterhorn Mountain, gazing down from the seemingly endless height, towering over the rest of Equestria like a beacon of power.

I was a hero, I had defeated the biggest threat the world could ever imagine. Tirek was a beast that could destroy cities without breaking a sweat, and I had destroyed him against all odds, even when I was certain that I would fail.

I wish I had lost, at least then...

I shook the thought out of my mind as the harsh winds whipped my mane into my face. I adopted a stern glare as I looked into the orange sky. Rainbow Dash would have loved to have flown in this.

How 'bout a quick race, eh Twi?

I smiled. Good idea, Dash.

With a steady takeoff, I flew high into the sky, savoring the weightlessness of my body as my wings carried me through the air.

Race you to the bottom of Canterhorn Mountain, Twi!

My smile broadened as I dove to the earth, ignoring the ache that was beginning to form in my wings as I rapidly gained speed.

I might have lost my friends, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forsaken our friendship.

I pushed myself harder and harder, not caring that I was running out of time to stop myself from crashing into the ground.

They will always be with me, deep down in my heart. I just have to find them, I have to fight my way to them. I have to push myself as hard as I can if I want to be with them again.

See you soon, gals.

Author's Note:

This SFM did not directly inspire the story, but I feel that's it's relevant enough that I could toss a link in here. If you want even more sadness, click on this link here.

7,880 views

409

Comments ( 150 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 150
- Newest First
- Oldest First

Hunter Redflame

Hunter Redflame #1 · Jul 15th, 2017 · 8 · ·

...At times, many wish they could go back and change It. Their greatest mistake. What they'd done leading to it, anything that could have even remotely been related to It...

Because they hate the result that they'd gotten. And often times...

...They forget, that in the rush to undo themselves...

They inflict that same pain on others.

Well done, very well done. You show a great deal of promise my friend, and I'm glad to have been the first to comment and like this work. I look forward to seeing such in the future.

Sincerely,
Hunter Redflame.

They're Gone - JackRipper

I wish I hadn't.

Also LikedSimilarAuthor

Stats

FIMFiction

Follow & Support Us

Also Liked Similar Author