• Published 30th Nov 2019
  • 1,456 Views, 83 Comments

Let Me Go - Shakespearicles

It is impossible for a pony to live forever. But Discord is a master of the impossible.

  • ...

Tea For One

Discord appeared before her.

"Yes, my love?" he said.

"I give up," Fluttershy said. "I want so much to just die. But I give up."

"You want to die and leave me alone to this?" he asked, motioning to the frozen wasteland of a dead planet around them.

"I get it. I understand. I wouldn't want to be left alone to this fate forever either. This is... this is worse than hell," she said. "So... whatever it is you want to do to me, go ahead. It can't be any worse than what you've already done."

"You really feel that way?" he asked. "Fluttershy, everything I have done for you, I have have done because I love you!"

"No. You did it so you didn't have to be alone in... this. I get it. But if you love me, if you really loved me, you would spare me of this living nightmare," she said.

"What would I do without you?"

"I don't know," Fluttershy said. "I've spent millions of years trying to end my life, knowing that it's impossible. I know you don't want to go on alone either, but... I don't know. I just want so much to not exist anymore. Please," she cried. "Please, I'm begging you. Please just let me go!"

A flash of light and something appeared in Discord's claws. A tiny bottle. He looked at it, and he looked at the pony weeping in front of him.

"I'm so sorry," he said. He extended his arm to her. She looked at the small bottle in his hooves. She wiped her eyes and looked at it.

"What is it?" she asked.

"It's a potion."

"What will it do?"

"It will put you to sleep," he said. With a snap of his fingers, a beautiful bed appeared beside them in the middle of the desolate wasteland. Fluttershy felt a chill run through her as he released her from his protective enchantments. "You'll fall asleep and you'll never wake up."

He snapped his fingers and a tea set appeared. He poured them each a cup and set the small bottle on her side of the tray. She opened the bottle and poured it into her cup. She looked at it and then back at him.

"Heh. I'm actually kind of scared."

"Me too."

"I'm sorry, Discord. Thank you."

Fluttershy drank her cup and crawled into the bed. He knelt beside her and tucked her in. She looked up at him and smiled. He looked down at her and cried.

"Discord, when I fall asleep, will I dream?"

"I don't know," he said.

"Will I go to heaven?"

"I don't know."

"Will I meet everypony in the afterlife?"

"I don't know about any of that, Fluttershy!"

"You don't seem to know much," she said with a weak smirk.

"I know that I love you, Fluttershy," he said.

"Discord," she whispered. He leaned closer. "I love you too." She kissed him on the cheek and closed her eyes for the last time. A few moments later her chest stopped moving. And she was gone.

Discord snapped his fingers and Fluttershy appeared beside him.

"Discord, I love you and you were right and I love you and I'm glad you kept me around forever and I love you!" she said.

"You're not Fluttershy." He snapped his fingers and tried again.

"I love you and I'm shy and yellow and I love you."

He snapped his fingers and tried again.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

He got up and walked away from Fluttershy's body, laying there in the bed. Her dozens of copies followed him.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

"YOU'RE NOT FLUTTERSHY!" He yelled, snapping and making them all vanish. He snapped his fingers again. A tall, white Alicorn appeared.

"You deserve this," Celestia said.

"Hmf. That actually does sound like something she'd say," Discord said, making her vanish as well. He walked back over to where Fluttershy laid. He understood now. He understood why she wanted this. Everypony she had ever loved was dead. And now he felt the same way. He simply wanted to no longer be.

He carefully aligned her bed with the head of it pointing exactly north. He cleaned up the ground around it, clearing it of twigs and pebbles. He materialized a steamroller and pressed the land flat and level. He worked his way outward, grading the land. He started building. It was just a house at first, but it grew and grew larger into a mausoleum. Everything was perfectly flat and square, precisely aligned and flush with each other part of it. Each addition of it was a perfect factor of ten larger. Each perfect part was perfectly perfect. And there at the center of it was his dear Fluttershy. Once he thought it would be enough, he returned to her at the center and sat in a perfectly perfect chair. He placed his paw on her hoof and remained perfectly still. Perfectly orderly.

The absolute antithesis of chaos.

After a a few minutes he looked down at his paw. It was slowly fading. He could see her hoof through it. He was slowly fading out of existence. He didn't know what would happen next. If there was an afterlife or not, or if Fluttershy would be there. He didn't know for sure. Not really. All he knew was that she wasn't here. And here was no place he wanted to be without her. He knew that for sure. That and he loved her. And she loved him. She finally said so when he chose to let her go. That was enough to make him happy for a moment.

His smile was the last thing to disappear.

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Comments ( 67 )

Dispite Thanksgiving ending, I can still be thankful for this...


Holy shit. I am reeling. I always thought I had a high tolerance for pain in fanfictions - like, I genuinely enjoy vast amounts of angst.
But oof.
This fic almost did me in. I could barely finish it, I was such an emotional wreck.

Long story short: THIS WAS AMAZING, I LOVED EVERY WORD. The ending was such sweet relief for the emotional TORTURE this fic put me through. When Fluttershy told Discord she loved him, the feels hit me so hard I couldn't breathe for a moment there.

Excellent, excellent, excellent. Thank you for sharing!!!!!!!

Written for Moon.

Don't you mean muwun?


can i get an f in the chat for society and the entire species of Equinity

And also, as Discord says, even these millennium are only a tiny part of eternity. Maybe in the ancient past, far future, or another universe, ponies live on. After all, this is only one interpretation. Everything comes to an end, but that’s not to say there won’t be a new beginning.

Rod Serling does MLP
:moustache: Scale rot? That was pon3 herpes...
:raritystarry: Don't blame me Spikey Poo!
:pinkiegasp: I found my hoofie!
:ajbemused: Apples!
:facehoof: Damned doomsday weapon
:rainbowlaugh: I did it first!
:flutterrage: I was the last mare standing? I win!
:twilightoops: Did you turn out the lights!
:trollestia: nope

That slaps bro but I aint no philosopher I don't know shit

Btw I love your tf2 username

I mean, I’m not either. Was just trying to think of other possibilities.

So, to recap:

  • Rarity’s life's work is wiped out the changing economy.
  • Pinkie Pie dies of diabetes.
  • Applejack's life’s work is wiped out by a freak accident and her descendants become the very same city folks she'd gotten her cutie mark by running away from.
  • Rainbow Dash’s alcohol addiction resurfaces and she drunkenly commits maybeprobably-suicide.
  • Celestia, Luna, and Spike all die unneeded and somewhat anticlimactic deaths in light of their accomplishments in life.
  • Cadance gets assassinated.
  • Twilight and Flurry’s several lifetimes' worth of trying to foster peace and prosperity for all creatures prove to be all for naught thanks to a random racist terrorist group (and a Fallout Equestria reference).
  • All of Equestria’s struggles and triumphs are completely inundated by the sands of time (and suicidal nationalists).
  • Fluttershy gets to watch literally everything she's ever known and loved get destroyed (including watching several of her best friends die violent deaths right in front of her) because Discord is a selfish asshole. (Honestly, a part of me kinda suspects that the Stockholm Syndrome was kicking in by the end).

Damn, dude. If I wanted Infinite Sadness, I'd go listen to Mellon Collie.

(song lyrics are vaguely relevant, btw)

Not a story I can bring me self to like (see above), but I can still appreciate how well it was written and executed.

Nicely done.

I was not ready for this. Not at all

Seconded. Just, damn

I mean, well-written and all but... The driving idea behind this story, that death is necessary and needs to be accepted... it's just absurd. Death only needs to be accepted because it's inevitable... but once you add in functional immortality, it's not inevitable, and any and all characters who claim it is (Twilight, Celestia, Fluttershy, etc) just come off as utterly deluded; trapped in an ideology of inevitable death that no longer applies.

The whole "I can't just keep watching people die" thing doesn't work for multiple reasons. For one, Discord openly offers to stave off death for others; you don't get to tell him not to keep others alive, and then say that you don't want to live anymore because everyone you knew is dead; that's stupid. Legitimately stupid; just let him save them all, and then none of you have a reason to die.
But there's also the more general fact that you live your whole life watching loved ones die; it doesn't just start up when you get old, it's a constant, life-long thing. To say that it's okay when you're thirty, but a legitimate reason to wish for death when you're eighty... there's no consistency to it whatsoever. And what about meeting new people and making new friends? Do you really only care about those few you met when you were young, and everybody else is just immaterial? All of this is just an excuse; people convince themselves that they don't want to live forever, not because they are led to that conclusion logically, but because you can't live forever, so pretending that it's a good thing provides emotional comfort: Again, this doesn't apply when you actually have the option of immortality.

This is more than just philosophical navel-gazing, by the way. There are many scientists working on radical life extension today. Functional immortality is a reasonable possibility in the near future. We need to address this aversion to living before it becomes a real problem, and we end up with terrorists blowing up life-extension clinics on the basis that they're an affront to the natural order.


Seconded. You've put into words some of the thought I've often had about this kinda topic, better than I would have.

Legitimately suprised at Shakes going for this angle, too.

I think this would have been better by instead of the meaning behind wanting to die being Fluttershy cant handle seeing others die. It was instead she reached the point where she had lived enough and life no longer holds any value. She'd done it all, seen it all, heard it, everything. Now its all white noise and a colorless meaningless existence.

Cause eventually, you'll reach the point where life just becomes pointless and unfulfilling after a certain point. Especially one with a mortal mind.

Nice to see Discord getting exactly what he deserves.

9966837 9966939 9966962

The whole "I can't just keep watching people die" thing doesn't work for multiple reasons. For one, Discord openly offers to stave off death for others; you don't get to tell him not to keep others alive, and then say that you don't want to live anymore because everyone you knew is dead; that's stupid. Legitimately stupid; just let him save them all, and then none of you have a reason to die.

Discord never says that he could save everypony. And even if he could, he wouldn't care to. Also when Discord claims he can bring everypony back, it needs to be taken with a grain of salt because there is a wide difference between what he says, and the truth.

When Discord finally does bring ponies back in the pizza scene, the purpose of that was to demonstrate that he actually can't bring ponies back to life. All he can do is create warped, one-dimensional caricatures of them.

"I can bring them right back!" he said. He snapped his fingers. The table with the pizza was surrounded by her old friends, just as they looked when they all first met.
"Pizza party!"
"Fabulous, darling!"
"Gotta go fast!"
Fluttershy covered her eyes and screamed.
"Stop it STOP IT! Get rid of them! Those aren't my friends!"

It's demonstrated again at the end of the story, with his copies of Fluttershy. They are just shadows of the real thing, saying what he wants to hear. And his version of Celestia is more just his guilty conscience telling him what he already knows. The fact that he can't actually resurrect ponies gives life, and the individual lives of the ponies meaning and value. Call it a life force, or soul if you like. Once a pony is dead, they are gone forever.

He can't watch over everypony, nor would he want to. The was only one pony he couldn't live without. Only one pony he was willing to watch over at all times. For Discord, it doesn't matter to him if everypony else dies because he doesn't care. Fluttershy is forced to live along side him and can't create that kind of detachment from everypony, herself.

Fluttershy's mentality at the end of the story after Twilight died was meant to be more of a loose parallel to 'I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream'. Which if you haven't read that, I highly recommend it. Not that Discord is explicitly, (or rather, knowingly) playing the role of the villain in this case. But rather that, at the end of all things, when everything and everypony she had ever known was gone, she was cursed to linger on forever. It was meant to be a pony's glimpse into Discord's fate as an immortal, invincible being.

To say that it's okay when you're thirty, but a legitimate reason to wish for death when you're eighty... there's no consistency to it whatsoever. [...] people convince themselves that they don't want to live forever, not because they are led to that conclusion logically, but because you can't live forever, so pretending that it's a good thing provides emotional comfort: Again, this doesn't apply when you actually have the option of immortality.

You're comparing apples to oranges here. There is a huge difference between living longer as a human, and the kind of immortality Fluttershy is experiencing. Fluttershy gets to be young and healthy. But a person who is eighty will never be in the peak of their health. It's a matter of quality of life, rather than quantity. Some people do better than others, but at a certain point, it just hurts to be alive.

To climb out of bed and all your joints are grinding together every time you move. A cough that never goes away. You can never trust a fart. Being legally blind or deaf, or confined to a wheelchair, and just being so, so tired all the time. At a certain point, no matter how many 'new friends' you make along the way, the exit sign for life starts to look real attractive.

But the point of this story wasn't to demonize living longer, (as you are suggesting) or even living potentially forever. But rather, it was a look into the existential horror of being a creature like Discord that is both immortal and functionally invincible, having no choice but to linger on long after the end of all things.

I think this would have been better by instead of the meaning behind wanting to die being Fluttershy cant handle seeing others die. It was instead she reached the point where she had lived enough and life no longer holds any value. She'd done it all, seen it all, heard it, everything. Now its all white noise and a colorless meaningless existence. Because eventually, you'll reach the point where life just becomes pointless and unfulfilling after a certain point. Especially one with a mortal mind.

I did try to touch on this with how alien the world was starting to look to her after centuries. Everything was becoming unrecognizable. And I guess I could have spent more time focusing on this aspect of it rather than her primarily mourning about her friends. Though in the original draft, the sequence with Twilight dying happened much sooner, and there was more of a philosophical emphasis on Fluttershy existing long after ponykind. But without the reader experiencing the deaths of her other friends, the bulk of it felt emotionally hollow. So that's why there was more of a focus on the loss of her friends and loved ones.

Discord, as a character in the show epitomizes this aspect fairly well. The Spirit of Chaos aside, He's world-weary with reality and reshapes it into whatever he can to try to entertain himself. Maybe he didn't start out as the Spirit of Chaos, but became it over time. :rainbowderp:

Realistically though, it still is. Even with functional immortality, that does not mean one is invulnerable. Look at the deaths of, Celestia, Luna, etc. On a broader scale, barring any accidents, the universe will collapse on itself entirely one day, so pretty much all we have will be destroyed regardless. Death ultimately is inevitable, as all endings are. And as Grailm said, it’s not wanting to die, it’s simply being that life no longer holds much value. I mean, in the end, we were talking about the end of the world. And it was just torture for Fluttershy to continue existing in that nothingness. Death was peace. So no, I don’t think that accepting death is “absurd” or wrong. Every beginning has an ending, no matter how long you put it off. Death is still the ultimate ending for all of us, it still is what gives life meaning.

What an incredibly written, heartbreaking story. That ending bit really did get to me, despite everything Discord did. That said, I had some minor gripes that did add up and just didn't allow the story to work for me as a whole.

The first half of the ending feels so... odd. I can't summarize it in one word, but it took Fluttershy millennia after millennia to finally just tell Discord to stop and he just... gives up? It feels almost lazy. The conversation they have doesn't even last long or feel all that compelling. It didn't tug at my heartstrings even though this is the part that probably should, since well, Fluttershy is finally swaying Discord into letting her rest. She could have talked to him about this eons before, when the world wasn't an empty wasteland. Fluttershy has had this desire to end her life far before she finally confronts him about his selfishness.

I suppose I'm just uncertain as to why it took so long for her to finally confront Discord about this, since, well, the conversation here at the end is honestly just similar to the one they had after she finds out she'll be the last living pony on the planet. And on Discord's end, again, since it echoes a lot of the previous chapter's fight, what changed his mind? We don't really see his internal struggle regarding this conversation (since these last chapters have been in Fluttershy's POV, which is fine). We don't see what makes him go "oh, I... I can't keep doing this anymore." It might have been when she admits trying to kill herself, but as a reader I cannot 100% tell. The whole thing is Fluttershy saying "screw this, I hate this, please let me die" and Discord simply going "kay" like he truly just didn't want to bother anymore. It was too sudden and hardly satisfying.

And I'm confused here; are we supposed to find Fluttershy's little "I love you" and kiss sweet and touching (the romance tag tells me as much but who knows)? Because I don't. Her reciprocating feels like a reward for Discord, like giving a child a cookie for doing their chores, rather than something earned and something Fluttershy truly feels. I'm sorry, but after all this time, how can she truly love him? For that one moment when he finally decides to be selfless and let her die, perhaps she sees someone she loves and maybe loved once upon a time, but I'm sorry, I just didn't buy it.

At the end of the day, I think my issues can come down to personal gripes. Aka I don't agree that this is how Discord would handle Fluttershy dying; I have different headcanons that aren't as angst and disturbing because I'm a soft little wimp who prefers her fluff and sweetness. Anyway, regarding Discord himself, it feels weird that he's willing to constantly save her and allow her to live forever, but he's also totally okay with hardly ever seeing her? It makes sense in a way - all that mattered to Discord was that he didn't want to see her die. We don't see whether he yearns for her affection or not, but he seems fine whenever he's talking with her, as if they hadn't not spoken for years. I feel like there's something missing by changing perspective's and only returning to Discord's right at the end.

Because this doesn't feel romantic, not even at the end. Discord's love is twisted and cruel, because he's willingly loses touch and connection with Fluttershy just to keep her alive. They don't spend anymore time together, have tea or do anything, but he seems perfectly fine with that? That feels strange to me, because why does he bother when he hardly ever talks to her and he knows she's upset with him? Discord may be a selfish a-hole, but Discord has grown throughout the series. Wouldn't he want to fix whatever's making her upset? Because that's how I see Discord; someone who craves his friend's support and love and while he's made mistakes, can recognize them and can be genuinely remorseful regarding those who he has hurt.

I kind of want to see the struggle there, where Discord's honest to god wanting to talk to her and fix things, but selfishly cannot bring himself to, but perhaps that's unfair since critiques should be about what the story's about rather than what the story could be about. After all, again, it does make sense in a way for Discord to be okay with that broken connection, but the romance and Discord's honest, true love for her was long gone when all he did was watch her from the sidelines, hardly talking to her in years. Which I'm sure is the point; doesn't mean I have to like it, haha.

All that said, that doesn't mean I'll dislike this story for having different ideas I don't agree with. It's a different headcanon that isn't for me; this just isn't my type of story and that's totally okay. It was an emotional trainride, and one of the many good stories out there that shows one way Discord will handle Fluttershy dying.

Hopefully some of this mumbo jumbo made sense. I really wanted to like it, because among all the fluff I read, some angst is always a nice change of pace. But it just didn't work for me.

I know the feeling. I really liked the story, but it isn't my personal version of how Discord would handle the mortality of his friends. A different version that I like a bit better is "One Last Snap" by Somber, of you haven't checked that out already.
Also, I agree that some parts felt a bit rushed, and think it's a bit hard to swallow that Fluttershy would take that long to confront Discord, and that he would not care about how much she hated him. And yeah, the "I love you" felt kind of tacked on. Anyway, good story overall, but I agree it is just one possible scenario, and everyone has their own personal headcanons and theories.

Exactly. If someone wants a Fluttercord story on the more angst and borderline horror-like side, then this is perfect for them. Myself? Let's just say if I wrote about this kind of story myself, I'd go in the more "Forever Young" direction ("One Last Snap" is also a great version!). Goes to show that this one wasn't my cup of tea, but that doesn't make it bad at all! It has fantastic writing, and it's a great look into the horrors of living so far beyond what we can only imagine. And the last scene with Discord fading away? Definitely got me.

Oh Discord... you are Chaos. Chaos is eternal. So thus are the culmination of your sin, your lust, your greed and covet. Enjoy eternity alone knowing the one friend you had died in utter loathing of you. Not an en-flamed passion, no, but a black cloying void of empty despair. For this oh Discord, there shall be no reprieve, from this even you, oh master of the Possible, oh king, there is no escape, not even into the void. For always you will return, you wretch, you ancient beast, and always in the back of your soul, in that special place where its only you and God.

You spent eons tormenting the one you loved. Welcome to Hell. And not a one in the Pit is there that doesn't deserve to be

I think there term you are looking at is "biological immortality" Where the body stays healthy (well as healthy as you maintain it). As if you mature to a certain point then its not like you stop aging, but the things in your body which break down over time don't and you basically live forever bar some accident that kills you. Death instead becomes something that happens because of an event, not because you just age to a point your body shuts down.

the ending of senescence in other words

I think this one best describes thing

You did a great job on this story.

Though now I have to troll my favorites for the happiest thing on it. I hate you in a good way.

Mind if I take some inspiration from this? It's very... twisted, and I love it.

Now I know why this is top of the future box................................................:pinkiesad2::fluttercry::heart:

Also I may sort of hate and love you at the same time.

i never commented but i read this when you first published it and dude.

my heart, dude, my heart.

hk, it's not like i needed it anyway.

thank you for writing this for me. :heart:

I don’t really know how to describe how thought provoking that story was. All I can say is that you are a great writer. This story had a fantastic premise and you built upon that amazingly! I totally didn’t expect the apocalypse twist and it made the conclusion so much better.

This made me cry slow, silent tears

Thing is... with Discord power available you CAN restructure the world in having EVERYONE immortal.
It will change the way the world work a LOT, but CAN be done. The point of “it is natural to die you have to let me go” falls flat when it may be prevented (and prevented for everyone, this Discord do not really think on a large scale and with a good psychological understanding as else he WOULD have managed to keep everyone alive)

Well... there is always the possibility of “The Last Question” by Asimov...

Oh Goddess...
This story is sad... and beautiful... and terrible... and amazing...
And Celestia was right. The greatest monstrosities were performed out of love and Discord did something horrible.
But love is not something that concerns good and evil, it is something strange, unpredictable, contorted, immense and chaotic.
I hate him? I love him? I don't know, but I know that this story is beautiful and sad.

Now excuse me, but I have to go and cry in the corner of my room clutching something warm and soft.

-Madness flows in my veins

I'll reiterate one of my earlier points. As has been pointed out by others, this story isn't meant to demonize longer lifespans/immortality. It's meant to be an insight into the plight of Discord as an immortal being beyond all. At some point, even life itself may become more of a torture. I'll reiterate a point from a kurzgesagt video. "It's not about playing in the yard forever, just a bit longer, until we get tired". Just as a longer life is not to be written off, neither is death completely unacceptable in the long run.


I'll reiterate a point from a kurzgesagt video.

I love that series!

[edit]: I am really loving the thoughtful discussions that this story is fostering!
For the record, I plan on living forever. So far so good.

But the issue is that Discord on top of being Immortal, HAS the power to AVOID that for everyone he cares. And he is reasonably intelligent and has seen enough life of the ponies to "get" that the problem is that they will have issues with being alone and seeing others die [up to a certain point, because as it has been said before we ARE constantly having people dying on us and getting to know NEW people.] Additionally with both Celestia and Luna [and Cadance and Twilight] as Immortals there the whole psychology of death goes a bit out of the window. So... yes it's nicely written, gets the proper cords, and resonates well. But... still Discord as a near omnipotent being is really really difficult to put on the spot... It's a bit like in Bruce Almighty... It is EXPLICITLY written with Bruce holding the Idiot Ball FIRMLY in order to show that aesop of the movie... but as soon as you start thinking you realize that it doesn't work, and a) Bruce has been given a severely gimped set of powers (where is the omniscience?) and is using his almightyness really really badly.

Everyone is assuming he can save everyone, prevent everyone from dying or aging, restore the whole world, and bring everypony back. The problem is that he demonstrably can't. Oh, he might say that he can. But when he attempts to bring them back at the pizza party, and again at the end, it's not the real ponies being resurrected. He can only create warped caricatures of them. Perhaps your version of Discord differs, but that is the case as presented here.
But even if he was actually completely omnipotent and omniscient, it calls into question everything that bad has ever happened since he was 'reformed', to the point that it comes back to a philosophical debate about the basic problems of 'god' and 'morality':
1. He isn't all-powerful,
2. He isn't 'good'/doesn't care.

And this story was never meant to be an examination of that.

I never said he couldn't do it. I was just saying that one could still understand why they would not want to live forever. At some point, it would just get too much. In all likelihood, the various creatures of Equestria are going to have vastly differing opinions on potentially eternal life. We don't know for sure how they would react. This is just one scenario.

He can't bring them back yeah that is clear... but he CAN prevent them dying. That is clear AND as Celestia demonstrates the mental capability for ponies to "endure" in the time is there.
And you are perfectly right in that we get to the god problem...

Discord who can open a portal to sock puppet land gives up and just stays on a dead world. Really he should not have even let the nuclear war happen because the result is far less chaotic.

Actually it would be interesting if the one thing he couldn't stop was the big rip.

I volunteer for the org that sponsored that video series (lifespan.io) - and the video series doesn't go into everything

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