• Member Since 17th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 58 minutes ago

Jade Ring


“Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can't remember who we are or why we're here.” -Sue Monk Kidd

E

Two old friends have lunch and discuss their children. Nothing strange about that, is there?

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A short little scene inspired by the works of Aragon, and Day 2 of the Seventh Anniversary Story Bomb.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 35 )

This was cute. That's all I can really say. Have a Thumbs Up!

Rarity I think that would be Gelding and I bet that is illegal. I hope Spike is ready when he is told.

Damn, this was REALLY good. WAY better than I thought it was gonna be. Not to mention hilarious (especially the last line :rainbowlaugh:)

Have a like :pinkiehappy:

Congrats! You get a like.

Very cute.

Absolutely adorable fluff.

jw278 #10 · 1 week ago · · ·

It was a nice read, ty. wouldn't mind seeing a sequel where Rarity tells Spike and maybe seeing Spike and discord talking while watching the kids lol

Either way I enjoyed it thanks

I will admit, I laughed at that last line. Great story!

Hah! Unusual parenting at its best.

A small smile tugged at Fluttershy’s lips. She gestured at the bowl. “ Craving something?”

:rainbowlaugh:

Oh, hey. Nice.

Cute! I liked the ending -- it's always somewhat tempting to end stories like these without a clear sense of finality or direction; Slice of Life is a difficult genre to write because a lot of people think that its main feature is the lack of a plot. Which is kind of bullshit? What defines Slice of Life to me is -- well, I dunno, I don't want to make a broad statement and then realize I fucked up in hindsight, but let's say "low stakes" for the sake of the argument.

So I enjoyed that! Elevates it from a simple piece of fluff. Personally I would've enjoyed it more if you'd had a more clear message or moral (seeing what they talk about, some musing on, I dunno, how being different can be hard sometimes, but it can also be very valuable or whatever, would've been a perfect fit). Mostly to give the story a more explicit sense of purpose or whatever.

Eh I dunno, you get me.

One piece of actual criticism, though: the sense of momentum in the story was a little bit dodgy. They kept starting on a topic, and then they would pause, and then they'd start again with a completely different topic. Which is fine, it's how conversations work sometimes -- but if you repeat that too many times in a row, it comes off as stilted. A little bit more flow (topics changing smoothly mid-conversation without a pause, instead of having narration interrupt the conversation every now and then) would've made this feel much more natural.

Food for thought, I guess? I dunno. Glad you found my stuff inspiring enough to add my name there. Getting real Family Matters vibes from this one, so I'm guessing you mostly focused on that one.

Definitely worthy of a favourite!

While I don't particularly like either of these ships, especially Sparity. This fic is just wonderful.

This was cute. :heart:

Pfft XD well than i see the twilight zone refrence XD

9564259
Actually, that'd make a rather interesting sequel. Fluttershy and Rarity both hire Tempest to foalsit...and to their surprise, she succeeds amazingly. The rest of the story being the antics the kids got up to, and how she handled them...and what she isn't telling the parents about it.

Heh. Life finds a way, as chaotic (or draconic) as it may be.

Also, Rarity mocking Twilight is oddly precious.:rainbowlaugh:

More. Just, more please.

A circus they dearly loved, you must understand, but even circuses must have an intermission between the lion-tamer and the trapeze.

One of the best short descriptions of parenthood I've seen. Kids are totally worth it, but no point in denying they're a lot of work. We do learn a lot from them, though. :twilightsmile:

This is an adorable story. A short, low-key look at the delightful craziness of parenthood... multiplied by Ponyville-style absurdity.

Rarity looked at the emerald dusted ice cream as though seeing it for the very first time. Realization struck like lighting. Slowly, her gaze turned towards Ponyville Park… and the location of her very much in trouble husband. “Tell me, Fluttershy; do you neuter dragons?”

Responsibility's a two-way street, Rarity.

Quite an adorable little slice-of-life.

Rarity could always ask for advice from the Kirin settlement.

That was adorable. The description of the family dynamic from the two mares made it very easy to see what they went through, and anything not explicitly described was easily imaginable. What a great read! :twilightsmile:

9565967
This. This I want to see.

Now this is the kind of one off cute story I come to FIM for! Thank you for this.

This is a very good one-shot.

This was a fun read; love to read what other writers come up with for their 'Next Generation' of heroes of Equestria.

A circus they dearly loved, you must understand, but even circuses must have an intermission between the lion-tamer and the trapeze.

Spoken like someone who knows.

“I know. I just wish she’d stop sending them to the cornfield.”

:twilightoops:
Oh, they come back. Oh. Oh, good. Okay then.

This was wonderful. brought back memories of raising my own kids, in fact (though minus eating castles and sending people to cornfields). I think one of the highest marks of success in fiction is when your readers are thinking how cool it would be to meet the people you’re writing about. And for me, at least, you hit that mark. Beautiful. :twilightsmile:

The last few lines are priceless. Very nice flow to the story. Well done.

Well, that was an unexpected treat. So few stories around about the...difficulties that might arise in some of the more unusual results of ships like Sparity and Fluttercord.

Ruby is an absolutely lovely name, by the way.

I wouldn’t mind seeing a little more of this timeline, but that is totally up to you.

Rarity looked at the emerald dusted ice cream as though seeing it for the very first time. Realization struck like lighting. Slowly, her gaze turned towards Ponyville Park… and the location of her very much in trouble husband. “Tell me, Fluttershy; do you neuter dragons?”

Uh-oh Spike is in trouble:rainbowderp::rainbowlaugh:!!!

This was a really cute read:heart:.

Ah, the perils of cross-species shipping. This is one of those rare cases where storytelling at one remove from the actual events actually works. Brilliant work. Thank you for it.

Children. A blessing and a burden.

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