• Member Since 14th Aug, 2015
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Fullmetal spike97


I have ideas for stories with either crossovers with other shows or non-crossovers, so if you don't know what else to write about then pm or leave a comment and we'll discuss things

T
Source

It was going to be a great day for Eliot. He had dreamed of going to a convention ever since he'd heard about it, but with an over protective mom, she had force him to go with his cousin, Sarah. She then forced him to go as Jacob Frye, since she was going as Evie Frye, to complete the pair. When they arrived to the convention, they bought a replica of the Shroud of Eden and were then transported to an Equestria totally unfamiliar to Eliot.

An Equestria that is corrupted by gangs and violence. The weak are prayed on by the gangs, and the elements, threatened by them, are powerless to stop them. While the most shocking is Princess Celestia's reaction to all of this, she turns a blind eye to these crimes, ignoring the pleas of help from her little ponies and from her own student, she had even exiled her own sister Princes Luna from Canterlot.

With the Twin Assassin's in Equestria, and help from some allies, they would rid the land of the corruption and uncover a plot that had started all the madness


Other tags include Princess Celestia, And blue blood and others

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 25 )

I'm praying that Blueblood doesn't get bashed in this:ajbemused:

Amazing!!! :pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp:

What a unique idea!! I've never seen anything like it before!! Where did you come up with this AWESOME idea?!?!

I WANT MOARRRRRR :flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

7973911 I agree. He's an ass, but then again he barely has any actual character development in-universe that I recall other than he's a Prince by blood and is pampered.

I like this:scootangel:

Have a like + a follow:twilightsmile:

7973911 you might hate me because I have something big planed for him

Our fics have strangely similar names, not saying anything just a thought...

7975822 Yeah I know, I'm not good when it comes to titles

7976352 not a bad start, keep the ball rolling.

Some quick notes:
Should it say "Assassin's"? If it's just plural, you don't need the apostrophe.
"Overprotective" is one word.
"she had force him to go with his cousin" Should say "forced".
"The weak are prayed on by the gangs" Should say "preyed on".
Blueblood is one word.
Writing conventions usually suggest dialogue end with a comma if the spoken part is followed by some variation of "they said". Example: “Let's go,” she said, pulling me towards one of the many vendors there.
I put these in Spoilers and will remove them if you wish for me to do so as to keep your comment section more streamlined. Again, your choice.

7977642 you're right, I'll make the changes when I can

Keep up the good work.
Will you be following the game or your own story?

7987391 I was thinking of doing my own thing but there will be somethings from the game

We need more of this beautiful shit!! Sorry, just so hyped.

This sounds interesting.

7973911
I headcanon that Blueblood's an actor that gets rid of rich nobles wanting political favours from his family by acting the way he does.

This is very good and interesting. I see alot of spelling errors in this

...seems good but Ill need to see more to know for sure :)

This is dead as ffffffuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkk

Are you going to continue this story, it has good potential.

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