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Spike is sent into the warhammer 40k universe when a spell from Twilight goes horribly wrong. A hundred years later Spike returns to Equestria with his own Chaos Legion. Has Spike the conqueror of a thousand worlds, the butcher of lorn v return with good intentions or is conquest of his home planet on his mind.
(Warning: lots of gore & some bad grammar)
(Ponies are anthro)
(The human tag is for space marines,Imperial Guard,and chaos marines)
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I wish to see where this goes it spike conquers a planet you will make my day
Btw which race took him
3517558
Chaos legion of the Night lords.
3517558
Looks like Night Lords of the Chaos space marines
aaaah
3517663
Oh man i'll fix that
Tracking, don't mess up plz.
3517669
I will try. I'm still not a good writer but i'll do my best.
As someone extremely interested in the Warhammer universe, but with extremely little actual knowledge/understanding of it, how lost would I be if I tried following this?
3517809
Not that lost there is going to be a lot explaining done by Spike in later chapters to every one. you wont be lost and if you don't have a idea what something in the story is just ask ill be glad to answer any question you have
3517695
You have no idea
3517829 Sweet! The quick response is much appreciated
whoe whoe whoe Spike got jacked by the bad guys the Chaos heretics were the guys in Silver and the Imperum of man Ultra marriens are blue right?
1. your grammar's atrocious.
2. SHOW, DON'T TELL! Give us some more description, what was spike feeling, what was Celestia feeling, a description of the library, stuff like that. You just can't tell us something and expect us to see what you're seeing, you have to show us. And like I said before, making him a Chaos Lord makes a lot more sense. Primarchs are the children (or rather spawn) of the Emperor, which Spike is most definitely not. I'll be keeping an eye on this though.
MORE!MORE!
Gold armour hmmm, either they are A costodes which would make zero sense since the only time that any of them were deployed away from the Big E was int he desolation of Prospero. If this is set during the Horus Hersey then they would be imperial fists which would make also no sense for two reasons, 1; the fists never engaged the night lord in direct combat if at all the only imperial fist to engaged any night lord in combat was during roubte gullimans begining founding of imperium secundos when he took on CONRAD KURZE! and held his own and 2 imperial fist armour is yellow.
if this is post hersey then the chapter is probably sired from our spiritual liege robot gorrilaman or due tot he gold armour making them celestial lions being inheritors of rogal dorns gene-seed. But I might be reading to much into that.
Moving on, you need more description to help flesh it out such as (pointed out by 3517943) their emotions, the scene and above all else a better description of the Asrartes them selves such as what mark armour they are in and their chapter, a good way to do the second is to describe the chapter sigil upon their pouldron.
Other then that seems good so far, just remember the Night Lords are the most sadistic and cruel legion, for the sake of causing terror.
This story. has my full attention.
I DEMAND MOAR!
3517938
Night lords are the ones in blue.
3517943 I know but I have idea to how he is a primarch.
I will work more on what they are feeling and descriptions of places.
3518579 what about in soul eater where the night lords had two major fights with the Imperial fist?
I will be working on what they feel I promise.
3519190
Then you shall have more
3518199
Sure
3519247
3519235 last I checked they were part of the imperium of man. and fought for the glory of the emperor. And were also know as the Ultramarriens
3519640
The Night lords are a traitor legion of the empire while the Ultramarines are loyalist to the empire.
They both have blue but the night lords color is midnight blue while ultra marines color is just blue.
One serves chaos the other the emperor.
I hope non of that sounded mean in any way.
3519246
That would be post hersey I was referring to during the hersey.
3519640
The night lords were renegade and are in no way tied tot he ultra faggots.
both the night lord and ultra fags were two of the twenty first founding chapters
3519799 my bad
3519642>>3519799 ahhh ok I am a noob to war hammer and just got into it
3521196
its all right just ask if you don't know something and ill do my best to answer
3521281
Ps Spike plus chainsword = Fucken badass
3521319
Agreed
3521584 so dose Spike get warp powers and demon troops from the rift
3521811
Maybe,maybe not.
How did you get 20+ likes with this spelling and grammar?
3546139
I don't know
i am a huge fan of warhammering ponies.
you did better spike is BADASS CHOAS.
3547588
Thank you so much
no thank you for writing this story. i am looking forward to its updates. i hope spike comes as a counquer though i like spike to be evil. in the show he is a dragon a powerful creature but is treated like a slave and is ok with it he needs a backbone.
i'm also wirting a story i been wanting to write about spike becoming the ruler of the world with a demon army and dark magic. P.S. awsome avater.
3547852
no offence but when is chapter two going to appear
3548536 soon when my editor starts working on it.
sweet!
Heretics all! You will all burn before the Emperor's chosen!
...Sorry, force of habit.
3553652 Its ok loyalist you will come to chaos very soon
1-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/tg/image/1337/80/1337800188840.png
3555782
Can't wait for Friday to come
3577521
I am please that you like this story so much.
I hope my editor will be finish on or before Friday.