DAMNIT MAN!

You barely gave me anything to use for Applebloom! How the hell can I write a part for hers now?!

Also THIS?! Are you purposely trying to make it difficult to write?! I mean this takes place in the timeline of my story. Granted mine is anthro so its a alt but it's based in YOUR universe. I have to figure this out now.

Sorry for the rant but you just made this 10 times difficult now

Well, nice to see that even Sweetie Belle hasn't given up. I think, she has it a bit better compared to her friends.

8573645
I'm pretty sure you will figure something out.

8573657
Dude you've read both mine and TPCP's stories. How in the am I gonna do this?

8573660
Hmm... given that AB still thinks of escape, I'd say that Scoots rescue got drawn attention, which makes her try contacting the one who saved Scoots. For Sweetie Belle, I think it might be hard for him to find her and reach her.

8573666
I already knew about Sweetie Belle before this being with griffions so i had a backup system already planned.

But as of now I'm trying to bang out two chapters to upload

8573729
In that case, the best of luck to you! Looking forward it.

So Sweetie Belle becomes a sex slave to griffons? And she has a daughter that is most likely from Onyx? Wow, that's deep. Well, at least she's treated okay at the very least. Though, I think she and her daughter could easily escape in the dead of night if they really wanted to.

I know you marked it as complete for now, but I recon you should finish it by writing and posting the aftermath of CMC in the Alternate Ending like you planned. You know? Finishing what you started and all. Cause I'd like to find out what happened to them after they were rescued from their ordeal, like everyone else reading this story would.

BTW I just started another story. You know that very dark rape fic set in a prison that I once told you about? Well, I just started it, and published the first part of the first chapter. Here's the link to it.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/368209/a-prisoners-suffering

8574092
I'll read that when I get the chance. As for the alternate ending, I still plan on doing that I just am going to post it as separately. I've actually started the outline for the first chapter. Now I just need some cover art.

8574521
Awesome to hear. I can't wait to see the first chapter when it's published.
Also, just so you know before hand, the first chapter (or parts of the first chapter) of my story doesn't have any rape. It won't be until the second chapter when it starts.

It's been too long since I last read this. Not far into Foal con as I was before :/

8575621
Oh? Did something happen or did you loose interest?

Umm yah diffently was not holding on to this story for a $-$$-%#%- up ending

Fluttershoutlicious

Aww .. that was awfully sweet and worth waiting for. .. Eeven if there's now the nagging wondering after a scene for Melody with Aldo getting bored with his arrangement and letting Gerti have her way x.x

But either way gosh nice work setting up such a neat little scenario in one chapter.

No happy ending?
:(
Just reality at its finest?
:(

I'm sad 😢 now.
But good story.

8576519
Amen

And this story can now finally be put to rest. And as for what I think of it. Well I used to think it was impossible to write an interesting story out of a rape fic, but I'm glad to see you pulled it off. And though this ending was very melancholy, I am glad that each of the crusaders have gained somepony that has given them a reason to keep going forward. Scootaloo has Star, Apple Bloom has Ruby, and Sweetie Belle has Melody.

And even though Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle have essentially given up hope of ever escaping, I will still hold it as head cannon that they'll eventually escape. I mean I see possibilities everywhere. For Apple Bloom, even after all this time she is the only one who hasn't given up and is still planning escape. For Scootaloo, other then the obvious Rainbow rampage sweeping across Equestria? Sometimes I feel like having a brothel of slaves isn't the smartest idea, between the possibility of a more morally just pony finding this place and telling the authorities, to the possibility of a revolt. In the case of the latter, even if whoever guards the brothel stops the revolt, there would likely be a few who make it out and everything would go down hill from there. And as for Sweetie Belle? Between Rarity's awareness campaign and the possible ally in Godot (who reminds me of Godot from Phoenix Wright, which in turn makes me feel like this guy is in fact a badass.) I feel like she has a chance.

Sorry, I kind of rambled there. At any rate, this was a good story and if you do ever come back to it, I would be very interested in finding out whatever became of Spring. But in the meantime I will be keeping a vigilant eye out for the good ending.

Now I konda want to read a bad end for Melody id the onion farm crashes

I'm kind of suprised Discord hasn't been asked to find the girls by Fluttershy or Celestia or Luna hadn't made it a mission to recover the Bearers little sisters. Considering they saved her little sister or herself from the Nightmare I would think Celestia would make finding them a priority.

8582007
I think it's safe to say that this is a clopfic of the Crusader's getting raped with no hope of getting out. I gave up trying to rationalize ways that they could be saved several chapters ago. The author could probably go into detail as to why the potential plotholes would fall apart in this universe if they wanted to, but it's clear that the intention is that the end result is that these kids aren't getting a shred of mercy or hope.

Not criticizing you or the author, it's just that in this universe magic and friendship simply can't or won't save them like it would in most fanfics. That leaves room for a dark underworld of child-rape, slavery, and god knows what else to take place and gotten away with.

8579057

I have to agree, I'd actually really like to see a light hearted sequal to this in which each of the CMC are eventually able to leave.

Eventually they would all be let go because their masters would get bored of them, probably because they get too old or something ya know?

The clop in this was actually really good. But at the same time, it actually almost made me cry a few times.

Sweetie bell honestly doesn't have it too bad, her master seems to be at least nice enough,

Scootaloo and Applebloom have it pretty bad. In fact, i think Applebloom has it the worst with that rich asshole.

Applebloom's new life probably disturbed me the most because of the fact that the guy rapes his own daughter, and has ponies keeping an eye on her at all times, that really got me.

Eventually the CMC would have to either be killed or freed at some point due to them always getting older or their masters getting tired of them

8612634
Don't think that would work considering these ponies are pedophiles. They would eventually loose intrest in them, when they do is another question, it could be when they are 20, or 30 but eventually it would happen.

They would have to be killed. I am just saying this from a logical point of view

8612640
Or just resold to somepony that isn't a pedo

8612671
Well, yeah, but i personally wouldn't do that because it can be pretty risky, more times you sell a pony, more times they might encounter someone who actually knows them.

I feel really bad for that billionaire's daughter though... I couldn't imagine living like that, I'd probably would have killed myself if i was put in her situation.

8612671
Great job on making me have feels though!

8612765
Thanks!

8640538
Thanks! I'm happy to see that I improved as the fic went on. Though, a good chunk of that was the help I got from Skyflys and Psker. They both helped with editing and let me bounce my ideas off of them.

>Godot was first to arrive
Lol

Loved this fic. The last lines... Just FEELS
The only little complaint I have is that I wish the clop scenes were a little bit more descreptive.

8781135
You got really angry there, I see stories like this as a test, when I read the chapters I got angry I was imagining all the different ways I'd try to save them but because I was angry it made me feel good, why? Because it means I'm a decent human being, your anger is well deserved, this kind of thing happens to children all the time in the world we live it's cruel unkind and has no remorse for weakness. Yet we care and this story shows us just that.

8792074

Thanks. :)

So Belle is 15 in this part?

Jesus, talk about growing up fast. Although I'd prefer that over onion-breath any day.

Great fic btw!

8805135
Thanks!

This is the wrong thing to take from this story but now I really want some onion soup

8842884
This seems like a very Bojack thing to say lol.

Wow this has been on my "to read" list for AGES, the tone kinda put me off at the beginning but after reading it all I loved it. I'm glad I never actually removed it from the list.

8891793
Thanks! I'm glad to hear that you stuck with it.

9024158
Damn, I hear you.
Lately, it's a good week if I manage to write down 1k words.
And with lately I mean this whole year.

9024158
I wish you good luck in the future.
I'll do my best, too.

9024370
Good luck

Despite the rather dark tones in the beginning, they all turned out to have rather... well good isn't the right word, decent I suppose would be the correct word. I dunno.

Where’s Liam Neeson when you need him

9224230
Cool. Glad to know you're still working on it.

9224236
I have been away from it for far too long. Feels good to be writing it again.

Well...

Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!
This series makes me cryyyyyy!

9477881
I’m happy to see people still finding this fic, all this time later. I hope you enjoyed it, in spite of how sad I made the ending.

9479318
I had to skim over it because
..
well I'm pathetic

that's why

I'll read the rest one day I promise

You should make a sequel to this, I really want to know what else happens to them when they are older.