- Member Since 9th Jan, 2017
- offline last seen 17 hours ago
theponycaptorproject
Not much to say. I love to write, and I write just about every kind of story.
theponycaptorproject
Joined 9th Jan, 2017 ·
Offline
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theponycaptorproject · 5.9k words · 133 16 · 4.8k views
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Featured In17
Clopfics11,546 stories ·15,814 members
Scootaloo3,262 stories ·2,569 members
Sweetie Belle2,660 stories ·1,638 members
Apple Bloom is Best Pony1,691 stories ·928 members
Foalcon2,794 stories ·4,488 members
Rape2,197 stories ·3,946 members
- BDSM621 stories ·798 members
The Dungeon1,262 stories ·1,739 members
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The title is missing an apostrophe...not a great way to start.
7859997
Shit! How did I miss that?
I think you overestimate their deductive skills (the CMC are better than AJ at noticing problems, but I think very few would really notice something like houses being empty, especially since Ponyville tends to have shut windows most of the time), and this felt a little oddly paced with the rapid back-and-forth and then abduction. At least it's just a prologue.
7860111
Thanks for the continued feedback. I'll definitely have to keep that pacing critique in mind. Be sure to let me know what you think of the second chapter if you read it
This is pretty good, but it seems to skip over a few details (like what suggestions Onyx gave Sweetie), which makes the clop worse.
Also, you might want a proofreader that's good with punctuation.
This snippet here:
Should be:
Oh boy oh boy, i can't wait for the other parts ^^
7860150
Thanks again. The scene with Onyx and Sweetie was done that way because I was worried that scene was going on too long. Guess I ended up having the opposite problem.
7860227
Glad you enjoyed it. As for the other parts, Apple Bloom's turn is coming soon.
7860551
Well I'm glad you were able to get something out of it. Thanks for reading.
Hello NEIGHbor
7860926
Hello
7860451 good, yeeees very good >:3
I have but one question for you. Why? Not when, not where, not who, and not what. Just why.
Otherwise the story was, unfortunately, well written and chactors are consistent.
7864229
Well, thank you for reading. I always like to hear what people think of what I write, even if they don't like it. I'm afraid I don't have an answer to your question though.
7865328
I'm glad you left this comment, and I have two things I want to say in response. I apologize for how long this comment is going to be, but I have a lot to say.
The first is an explanation for why I can enjoy rape fiction, and even full blown rape clop. Rape is terrible, and I would never want to be raped. War is terrible, and I would never want to be in the middle of one. Yet I play war video games, and one of my favorite movies is Saving Private Ryan. We can act out ideas in fiction that we would otherwise find disgusting, because we know that we are not actually hurting anyone. You ask why people like me are interested in rape. Another person could ask why someone might like horror movies about serial killers, which is arguably even more disturbing. We can enjoy these things because these aren't people being hurt, its the ideas of people that are being raped.
The second thing I want to say relates to the story itself, and what my intention is with this story. While I'm not completely satisfied with how I've handled it so far, my ultimate goal here is to provide something that's fairly rare in rape fics. Rape victims that aren't defined by what's happening to them.
Sweetie Belle for example, I want there to be more to her in my story than just a girl who gets raped. She's kind and trusting to a fault. She's not the fighter her friends are, and because of that turns to other survival tactics besides resistance or escape, (although she does try that somewhat.) She's not scared of becoming pregnant because she doesn't want to have a kid yet, she's not scared of her rapists because she thinks they'll hurt her. Sweetie Belle is scared that her life is no longer in her control, and that she may never see her family again. Sweetie Belle isn't just a victim, I want her to be a character.
So, while I can understand why you are upset, I just want you to know that even though I am writing rape clop, I am doing my best to treat the concept with respect.
Edit: Well at least as much respect as I can considering I am still writing porn
I suppose they're uninterested in anal? The two seem to be very vanilla in their rape choices.
This chapter was alright, but it felt a little too similar to the Sweetie chapter I think.
7865957
Its funny you bring up anal, because I am actually working on the fic's first anal scene right now. As for the similarities to Sweetie's chapter, that is something I've really been trying to avoid while writing Scootaloo's chapter. You'll have to let me know if you think I succeeded. Also, I'm happy to see you are still reading this. You've provided me with a lot of useful feedback, and I appreciate that.
Looks interesting, looking foward to reading more of it.
funny enough my main OC for RPs named Gizmo the Tinker, Although I don't use him for this kind of thing, I have an OC with a trap just for that.
i wonder if the stallions will get some sort of punishment >:3
Oh no...
Welp. Couldn't say she didn't try...
7875863
And here we have the great plot hole of every mlp themed slave rape fic.
Although, who are we kidding? Our great voyeur princess is watching Scootaloo get raped in her dream and she thinks, "This is my fetish."
7876170 A tricky plot hole to do, considering some folks consider Luna's dream-walking and then her taking matters into her own hooves as close to a Deus ex Machina as the MLP universe basically allows.
7860926 Just... just no.
7876848
pls moar
7876283
7876170
Moreover, Luna's dreamwalking is not something I would put much trust in anyhow. She did nothing to help the ponies under Starlight's rule, she did nothing while Cadance was trapped below Canterlot... Luna the Dreamwalking Saviour is, at best, totally schattershot. That's like hoping for Celestia to have a vision. Possible... in theory.
7876903
Hm, good point
7876900
With pleasure
7876903 Point taken.
i don't see how Luna's Dreamwalking would be a Dues Ex Machina, she can visit dreams but she can't tell where the dreamer is so it won't help he with tracking down lost foals, a tracking spell would of course tell you where they are, but you would need something of what your tracking to find it, a feather, clump of fur/mane/tail, and it wouldn't tell you "they are here" but it would tell you "there in this direction", a unicorn with a cutie mark in tracking (or an alicorn with a lot os skill in magic) might be able to "feel" how strong the "pull" is and give you an estimate of the distance but it wouldn't be "cast spell and an X appears on the map", in addition to that, the father away you are the larger the range for the distance estimate, before long its "somewhere in this small city sized area" after you do the triangulation to figure out where the area is. im all for magic being used to solve problems but i like my magic to have rules and limitations and not just be the "wave something and your problems vanish" kind
just my 2 bits
I don't see a tragedy tag, so if this doesn't end with the fuckers killed in horrifying and creative ways, I'm gonna be beyond pissed.
I don't like rape stories but at the same time, I like mystery, so I'm kinda interested on how they escape and if Scootaloo kills them, with that attitude she has it makes me think she will murder them herself.
7881419
She would certainly love to
Felt a bit rushed or awkward at points, like Scootaloo's first rape and the mention of the horn ring (and Sweetie/AB being let out in general).
7883297
I can certainly agree with the first two points. I wish I had spent more time on Scootaloo's first rape scene, and the mention of Sweetie Belle's horn ring reads really awkwardly to me now. Would you mind explaining the final point though? I'm not saying you're wrong, I would just like a more detailed explanation of what you feel I could have done better.
7883318
Too much just happens too fast, and it's a little jarring. The blowjob scene that takes up most of it also seems a bit awkward because neither of them really hesitate and Apple Bloom seems to casually tell Sweetie what to do. I think this probably shouldn't've been one chapter.
7883349
Ah! I get where you're coming from now. Thanks again for the continued feedback, it really is helpful.
I really liked how the chapter went and I can't wait for the next chapter to be really.
7901766
Glad you enjoyed it. I am hoping to have the chapter finished up in the next couple of days.
As usual, the comments are almost better than the story. Where are you bleeding hearts when someone posts a vore or farting fetish fic?
7917898
I don't really mind honestly. Most of the anti rape porn comments I've gotten only expressed issues with the subject matter, and a few even tossed a complement my way despite their disgust with the rape. I have yet to receive any kind of personal attack for this, which is better than I expected.
7917937 this story is... something alright
7918276
I'm interested in knowing what you mean by that
How are the kidnappers going to react when they find out what kidnapping the CMC really means. Let's go down the list from least to the "You're so screwed that they haven't invented how screwed you are yet." :
1)Rainbow Dash- not much resources but she makes up for it with hoof to hoof fighting skills.
2)Pinkie Pie- Just on word; Cupcakes. No one will ever find the bodies after Pinkamena get's done and on a side note Sugar Cube Corner is having a 2 for 1 cupcake sale.
3)Fluttershy- She might be timed, but then again she lives next to one of the most dangerous forrests around and all it would take is one mouse, bird, or even a bug to tell her what happened and she can lead a freaking army of animals from the Everfree to get the girls back.
4)Rarity- Let's just say having friends in the right circles can also mean having friends whose money comes from less than legal means i.e. who do you think sells nice suits to mob bosses in Canterlot and Manehatten?
5)Apple Jack- Given the size of the Apple Family Clan and the Orange's and Pineapple's off branches of their family they count as mafia family \ army on their own with contection and resources all across Equestria and beyond.
6)Princess Twilight Sparkle- Sure, she doesn't use her royal status much, but she has tons of magical power, knowledge, and can call on other very powerful and knowledgeable magic users like Starlight Glimmer and Sunset Shimmer.
7)Shining Armor and Princess Cadence- If the Apple Family counts as an army then these two can call on 2 armies, The Royal Gaurds and the Crystal Gaurds as well as every law enforcement member in Equestria and the Crystal Empire.
8)Princess Luna- You can run and you can try to hide, but sooner or later you have to sleep.
9)Spike- Sure he's a baby dragon, but he's a baby dragon that the Dragon Lord Ember owes a favor to since she wouldn't be the Dragon Lord without his help.
10)Princess Celestia- The rest might be able to call on bits and piece of Equestria for help, but she can call upon all of Equestria and it's allies to search for them. I'm also pretty sure she can call upon any inmate in Tartarus who would like shave some time off the sentences in service to the crown.
11)Discord- We hello there, I'm Discord, lord of Chaos. With a simple snap of my fingers the kidnappers will wish one of the others got to them first and look I brought friends. This is Thorax, King of the Changelings and his whole army. Then we have the Great and Powerful Trixie wear a darling little piece called the Alicorn Amulet. Finally we have my old college room mates the Smooze and his hippy girlfriend Treehugger and Dr. Whooves and the ever bubblely Derpy. So feel free to piss yourself before trying to run away, I wouldn't want our fun to be interupted by something silly like a bathroom break.
7918383
This comment almost makes me want to do a spinoff series about all the many gruesome ways the main characters could get their revenge
7918607
Succeed or fail, I can't imagine the CMC not at least attempting to get out on their own.
I really liked the way you punish scootaloo and I really liked how the chapter went and I can't wait for the next chapter to be really and I can't wait to see what kind of a distraction that you have in mind.
7919718
I'm glad you enjoyed the new chapter. Hopefully the next one won't take so long to finish. Can I ask what you mean by distraction though? Do you mean what the CMC will use to try and get free?
The clop bits were a bit short as usual, but the chapter was otherwise good.