I would have prolonged the stallion's suffering. It's about damn time they got what they deserved. If the rest of the chapters could just be about those three evil pieces of shit getting fucked up in prison and/or tortured and/or sodomized repeatedly by demons with razor-sharp spikes for dicks, I will like and fave this story.
Wait... I've got an idea! Now just hear me out on this one:
What if instead of just one or the other endings being canonical... you simply have them both be canon... but in their own separate continuities? Have the epilogues be separated into Good and Bad segments focusing on either their new lives(bad side) and their slow recoveries(good side)?
The chapters could take place at the same time and showcase what the CMC would be going through from both sides of the spectrum.
Think about it: this way you'll get readers from both sides of the fence; those who wanted a tragic ending and those who wanted a happy ending! This is a golden opportunity!!
8017990 That's actually kind of what I'm going to do in a way. They won't take place or release side by side, but each will be treated like it's own continuity.
So it looks like some of my questions were answered. The unicorn stallion, Umber was a former royal guard. That explains how he knew advanced security magic. In fact, I had a feeling he was that, since it was so obvious. LOL!
The part where Rarity took out Umber reminded me a bit of the fight between Bellatrix Lestrange and Molly Weasley in Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2. It wouldn't be a surprise if you got inspiration from that scene.
In fact, I think the reason Rarity was able to take out Umber so easily was because her rage of what that stallion did to Sweetie Belle made her get a huge magic surge.
I like this ending. I would consider this ending the official ending, because I prefer positive endings to stories like these with the bad guys loosing, instead of negative endings with the bad guys winning. I bet afterwards, Scootaloo tried some of the things she went through with Rumble, like being retained and having vibrating dildos in her pussy and ass set at the highest level, and being held and secured with straps, like in Chapter 5. I just hope no one finds out they're doing that. I also hope none of the CMC got pregnant from any of the stallions. If so, they would have to have an abortion. But whatever the outcome, at least their nightmare is over. ...Or is it? Good job!
I feel like this ending works better because otherwise, it feels like everything else is just there for the rape. If there's no triumph in the end, it's all just neverending rape. And c'mon, you NEED to feel scuzzy even reading that, much less writing that. Otherwise, I'd be concerned.
8019173 I see nothing wrong with the canon ending and call me a sicko all you want but I think that ending shows that sometimes bad guys do get away with things. I'm doing that for my upcoming story a rape with a bad ending and I don't feel bad about at all.
I accept this as the true ending, for me this story is complete, would be nice to see a sequel for this ending. But I kinda wish RD ripped Onyx's dick off while she was attacking him.
8019173 8019271 The real motives behind my choice of the original ending basically boil down to two things. The first is that if felt more natural to the tone of the story I was writing. While I like the ideas I have for where this version of the story is going to go, it still feels inauthentic to me. Which is why it will only ever be an alternate ending in my eyes rather than a true ending. The second reason is that I am writing rape clop, and rape clop built primarily around my personal tastes. I personally find enslavement clop to be my favorite, so I wrote a fic about it. I wanted to give the CMC characterization, and I wanted people to care about the plot. However, this was always clop with a plot.
8021081 I agree with you. I usually like bad endings, but with this one a happy ending felt best. I hope that the continuation takes them on a long winding recovery. I actually recommend at least one of the girls ending up having a lot of sex to try and pretend she's over it and one of them actively avoid sex.
I just knew Onyx would do something extra in the end. I'm glad he didn't try to kill the girl as a means of taking her down with him; it wouldn't have surprised me if that was where he took it.
Being a royal guard isn't that impressive. There's pretty much nothing that they've been good for in the show other than cosmetic decor. It was nice to see how simply and thoroughly wrecked he was after that statement too.
8022944 True. Onyx could have tried to murder Scootaloo, but he thought it would be much better if he tried to get her pregnant with his child as a way to remind her that there was a part of him she would carry for life in the form of a child from himself. But luckily, Rainbow Dash stopped him before he could blow his load (but I feel that she would probably already be pregnant anyway, because she was raped by the other stallions earlier). It's a way of psychologically making them suffer for the rest of their lives. In the eyes of a bad guy, it was the ultimate revenge, more satisfying than killing them. Get what I mean?
8022582 I actually have the girls' story arcs all planned out. I am trying to make sure that all three of them recover in their own unique ways. You'll have to let me know what you think when the time comes. 8022944 That was actually one of the most fun parts to write. Turns out that being evil doesn't make a royal guardsman any more competant it seems. 8021081 I can understand you preferring this ending even if it felt a little inauthentic to write. I hope you decide to read the continuations to both endings though. I'm rather proud of some of the ideas I have for both of them.
Might not be releasing my favourites upon them, but Discord and Pinkie Pie won't mind chasing down the buyers once these three sing like canaries just to avoid being turned over to Princess Twilight since technically Ponyville would be her jurisdiction and they really don't want to find out what sick twisted things the elements would do to them. Let's just say Fluttershy's ideal would most likely involve gallons of honey, 500 lbs of bird seeds, nuts, and berries, every bird for miles around and Angel Bunny and every small furry critter from all over to try a tasty new treat.
8023196 Oh you're planning on doing continuations - and for both? That's wonderful. I'm not sure which ending I prefer but you're right that this positive ending feels a little less authentic.. but a continuation for both goes a long way to remedying that even if the darker one's the ending I'd choose to see continued if pressed.
Be warned its not 100% SFW, ED is like wikipedia if it was made by the scum of 4chan who also regularly mix crack with meth.
To quote them...
Ræp, (also known as Rape and surprise sex), is an extreme sport...
Despite popular belief, all women enjoy rape. This is because all women are whores. However this doesn't mean that they're all obvious whores. Besides your typical school skank and office slut, whom are clearly whores, there are those known as Secret Sluts.
Make sure you cuddle these girls afterwords though, just to make them feel a little less "raped". Just kidding, tell them to go make you lunch.
I was trying to be funny since half the comments are of people reading an enslavement fic and getting upset at the ending. I prefer the alt ending but im not gonna go "wtf auth0r y dey still loced upppp??!?!1!!1?" over it.
8088123 lol, well anyway im tracking this and hopeing i wont have to do some demonic ritual to get an update like my other tracked fics. keep up the green lightsaber!
8127071 Damn it, and I thought I might have actually picked a name no one had used. Having checked the oc though, there isn't too much visual resemblance at least.
I know you've got some manner of continuation planned, but I had an idea for another alternate, bittersweet ending, where the girls escape and the rapists caught, but they do end up pregnant and keep those foals with them for the rest of their lives.
I would have prolonged the stallion's suffering. It's about damn time they got what they deserved. If the rest of the chapters could just be about those three evil pieces of shit getting fucked up in prison and/or tortured and/or sodomized repeatedly by demons with razor-sharp spikes for dicks, I will like and fave this story.
Horrendously terrible ending. So much prefer the first ending.
8017896
Well then I guess you're glad that that's the canonical one then?
Well, lets Hope they can recover from it. You maybe should have put in what happened to the kidnappers after their capture
Now THIS is an ending I'd prefer!
8017902
Wait... I've got an idea! Now just hear me out on this one:
What if instead of just one or the other endings being canonical... you simply have them both be canon... but in their own separate continuities? Have the epilogues be separated into Good and Bad segments focusing on either their new lives(bad side) and their slow recoveries(good side)?
The chapters could take place at the same time and showcase what the CMC would be going through from both sides of the spectrum.
Think about it: this way you'll get readers from both sides of the fence; those who wanted a tragic ending and those who wanted a happy ending! This is a golden opportunity!!
8017990
That's actually kind of what I'm going to do in a way. They won't take place or release side by side, but each will be treated like it's own continuity.
You are sicko. Is this cancer really over?
Woo, good ending!
Is this story finished? Or there are more chapter coming? This "Happy ending" is the final chapter because there are no real "Happy ending"?
8018200
You....do know no one made you read this right?
8018345
There are going to be more chapters.
8017990 weirdly.......you have a point.
My firey anger for this story is extinguished. But.....
I'll still follow this to see if I should replace my hate with a like.
8018765
Forgive me if this sounds rude, but what made you keep reading this whole time if it's been with "firey anger" this whole time?
So it looks like some of my questions were answered. The unicorn stallion, Umber was a former royal guard. That explains how he knew advanced security magic. In fact, I had a feeling he was that, since it was so obvious. LOL!
The part where Rarity took out Umber reminded me a bit of the fight between Bellatrix Lestrange and Molly Weasley in Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 2. It wouldn't be a surprise if you got inspiration from that scene.
In fact, I think the reason Rarity was able to take out Umber so easily was because her rage of what that stallion did to Sweetie Belle made her get a huge magic surge.
I like this ending. I would consider this ending the official ending, because I prefer positive endings to stories like these with the bad guys loosing, instead of negative endings with the bad guys winning.
I bet afterwards, Scootaloo tried some of the things she went through with Rumble, like being retained and having vibrating dildos in her pussy and ass set at the highest level, and being held and secured with straps, like in Chapter 5. I just hope no one finds out they're doing that.
I also hope none of the CMC got pregnant from any of the stallions. If so, they would have to have an abortion. But whatever the outcome, at least their nightmare is over. ...Or is it?
Good job!
I feel like this ending works better because otherwise, it feels like everything else is just there for the rape. If there's no triumph in the end, it's all just neverending rape. And c'mon, you NEED to feel scuzzy even reading that, much less writing that. Otherwise, I'd be concerned.
Not bad but I liked the other ending WAY better.
8019173 I see nothing wrong with the canon ending and call me a sicko all you want but I think that ending shows that sometimes bad guys do get away with things. I'm doing that for my upcoming story a rape with a bad ending and I don't feel bad about at all.
8019271 well that's on you, but I have to question the real motives behind writing it.
I accept this as the true ending, for me this story is complete, would be nice to see a sequel for this ending. But I kinda wish RD ripped Onyx's dick off while she was attacking him.
8019649
You'll get you wish...about the sequel thing, not the dick ripping thing.
8019173
8019271
The real motives behind my choice of the original ending basically boil down to two things. The first is that if felt more natural to the tone of the story I was writing. While I like the ideas I have for where this version of the story is going to go, it still feels inauthentic to me. Which is why it will only ever be an alternate ending in my eyes rather than a true ending.
The second reason is that I am writing rape clop, and rape clop built primarily around my personal tastes. I personally find enslavement clop to be my favorite, so I wrote a fic about it. I wanted to give the CMC characterization, and I wanted people to care about the plot. However, this was always clop with a plot.
Claps Claps Claps now i don't know which ending was better
8019598 not gonna lie but rape play is a fetish of mine so that kinda explains why I write it I don't know about others though
8021081 I agree with you. I usually like bad endings, but with this one a happy ending felt best. I hope that the continuation takes them on a long winding recovery. I actually recommend at least one of the girls ending up having a lot of sex to try and pretend she's over it and one of them actively avoid sex.
I just knew Onyx would do something extra in the end. I'm glad he didn't try to kill the girl as a means of taking her down with him; it wouldn't have surprised me if that was where he took it.
Being a royal guard isn't that impressive. There's pretty much nothing that they've been good for in the show other than cosmetic decor. It was nice to see how simply and thoroughly wrecked he was after that statement too.
8022944
True. Onyx could have tried to murder Scootaloo, but he thought it would be much better if he tried to get her pregnant with his child as a way to remind her that there was a part of him she would carry for life in the form of a child from himself. But luckily, Rainbow Dash stopped him before he could blow his load (but I feel that she would probably already be pregnant anyway, because she was raped by the other stallions earlier). It's a way of psychologically making them suffer for the rest of their lives. In the eyes of a bad guy, it was the ultimate revenge, more satisfying than killing them. Get what I mean?
8022582
I actually have the girls' story arcs all planned out. I am trying to make sure that all three of them recover in their own unique ways. You'll have to let me know what you think when the time comes.
8022944
That was actually one of the most fun parts to write. Turns out that being evil doesn't make a royal guardsman any more competant it seems.
8021081
I can understand you preferring this ending even if it felt a little inauthentic to write. I hope you decide to read the continuations to both endings though. I'm rather proud of some of the ideas I have for both of them.
Might not be releasing my favourites upon them, but Discord and Pinkie Pie won't mind chasing down the buyers once these three sing like canaries just to avoid being turned over to Princess Twilight since technically Ponyville would be her jurisdiction and they really don't want to find out what sick twisted things the elements would do to them. Let's just say Fluttershy's ideal would most likely involve gallons of honey, 500 lbs of bird seeds, nuts, and berries, every bird for miles around and Angel Bunny and every small furry critter from all over to try a tasty new treat.
sad but good story
8051851
Well he was certainly the most fun for me to write.
8046581
Thank you
8056072
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
8023196
Oh you're planning on doing continuations - and for both? That's wonderful. I'm not sure which ending I prefer but you're right that this positive ending feels a little less authentic.. but a continuation for both goes a long way to remedying that even if the darker one's the ending I'd choose to see continued if pressed.
Either way, thanks for the good story.
8063235
Your welcome, thank you for reading.
8018793
Prolly this.
I find this fic much more enjoyable if i go by the encyclopedia dramatica definition of rape.
8087411
What do you mean?
8087473
there's this great new thing called google you fuThe joke was if someone believes the stuff on Encyclopedia Dramatica then the fic is a little less likely to trigger them.
heres ED on Ræp.
Be warned its not 100% SFW, ED is like wikipedia if it was made by the scum of 4chan who also regularly mix crack with meth.
To quote them...
I was trying to be funny since half the comments are of people reading an enslavement fic and getting upset at the ending. I prefer the alt ending but im not gonna go "wtf auth0r y dey still loced upppp??!?!1!!1?" over it.
8087902
Ah ok! Yeah, I know what the ED is, I was just dense and didn't get the joke.
8088123
lol, well anyway im tracking this and hopeing i wont have to do some demonic ritual to get an update like my other tracked fics. keep up the green lightsaber!
8105924
Yeah, that's about the reaction I expected.
Doesn't the brown stallion named Umber belong to an artist?
8127071
Damn it, and I thought I might have actually picked a name no one had used. Having checked the oc though, there isn't too much visual resemblance at least.
I know you've got some manner of continuation planned, but I had an idea for another alternate, bittersweet ending, where the girls escape and the rapists caught, but they do end up pregnant and keep those foals with them for the rest of their lives.
8127233
You're not too far off actually.
8127240 Sweet! I can't wait.
wow this story was really good
8128781
Thank you
8128916 your more then welcome