850181
I'm glad you did decide to add the additional endings, because both are pretty awesome. I especially liked the 'Forgetting' ending because it still managed to be chilling despite being a 'good end'.

Wow. Just wow, I must recognize I'm not a friend of horror stories but this one has something great to it.

I'm also considering to track it just in case you consider writing a follow up to the forgetting ending. I personally think that this can make an awesome thriller if you do so.

It'd be great to read about twilight getting curious about her knew feelings toward SAAcres and re-descovering the story, applejacks past and big mac's crime. And you even have two great endings at hoof, one making the whole killing-dad-story into an accident/self-defense or discovering big-mac as a product of his ruined childhood causing him to rampage when aj and twi try to talk sense into him.

Dunno, maybe worth a try!

852352 851072
I am glad you liked it. I understand that a lot of people (myself included ) aren't huge fans of this kind of story. I really shouldn't be trying to compare the reception of this story to that of A Teatime Visit; people read the two for very different reasons, and I should be pleased with the turnout I did get for this.

...I suppose the fact that I wrote a story that on most days I wouldn't have wanted to read myself makes me a bit of a hypocrite. Ah, but when plot bunnies attack, what else am I to do?

As for follow-ups, sequels and the like... eh maybe some other time, much later. I don't feel like I want to return to this particular continuity any time soon. If you want to write a sequel to the Forgetting ending yourself, feel free. Shoot me a PM and I'd be happy to help edit it for you, even.

-Contains spoilers-

These endings are well written too, offering interesting details and alternatives. One I think could also have worked though, might have been about all of the first chapter being AJ's nightmare, and she'd wake up in panic and stuff, before trying to break/burn every shovel and rope she'd find, before running right to the library to ensure Twilight is fine (I personally don't think the canon/in character AJ could really go that far and kill an innocent and one of her best friend just to protect such secret, and considering the attenuating circumstances about Pa Apple's death...)... so there would have been a comfort part. I'm just suggesting, and not planning to write it, with my poor skills and language barrier, but so if anybody is interested...

899164 Heh, that's actually a reference to my first story, which, while more popular than this, couldn't qualify as dark even if you turned off all the lights and wore a blindfold. I'm glad you enjoyed this, though.

1464874 It's been a while since this story got any attention. Thanks for reading!

Personally, I take issue with the idea that being the element of Honesty means Applejack is incapable of deception. I feel that casts a rather flat interpretation on her character. There was a line in a fanfic I read quite a while back that I wish I could recall the name of, but it gives an interpretation of the Element of Honesty that I particularly like: "Honesty ain't about tellin' the truth all the time. A pony could say nothin' but true things their whole life and still be a dishonest scoundrel. Honesty is about bein' worth trusting in." I like to consider that my guiding star when I write Applejack.

That said, the epilogue/first ending, where it was all just a story Pinkie Pie made up and none of it really happened, is my personal headcanon. Applejack would never really hurt her good friend Twilight, would she?

"Hey, Twi? What happened to my barn?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry, I burned it down."

"Ya what?! Why?"

"To get rid of all the mutant termites!"

"Mutant termites?"

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure I got them all."

...

"Yeah... that experiment got a little bit out of hoof."

"Now where did I put that shovel?"

1792250 If you can't read about ponies lynchin' one another over lunch break, I don't know what the point of lunch could possibly be.

You have a very kind way of saying that I ramble on in this story. Honestly, after reading some of your stuff, a compliment on my descriptive prose is flattering indeed. You are right that the story tends to take a back seat to the scene-painting here. Really, the whole plot itself could fit in the story description with space to spare, so it definitely leans heavily on the atmosphere to carry it.

The hammer to the horn was my answer to the question, "How could Applejack possibly overpower what is generally held by the fandom to be the most powerful unicorn in Equestria?" I always liked the idea of overcoming the supernatural with mundane means and a bit of planning.

I agree that the switch to AJ's POV was a mistake. If I ever take another sweep at this, I'll need to find a way to keep it in Twilight's perspective.

I would akin this to a Fairy Tale of horror stories, or something that people tell around a campfire. It's just for the fun of it.

Are you sure you didn't read the epilogue? Because I don't mean to spoil anything, but you basically just hit the nail right on the head for it. Both of the alternate endings, though, keep the dark themes intact. As a matter of fact, in hindsight, I think the second alternate ending, "Forgetting," just might be a better ending than the original.

I suppose AJ needs to go find Rainbow now to tie up some loose ends...

1792579
I ain't sayin' you're ramblin'! Now, y'all just puttin' words in my mouth there!

What I mean by payoff is this. The entire first part, the WHOLE first part. Its ENTIRE purpose is to just have Twilight be dropped off at a place that wasn't where she was supposed to be. You could have done it in ONE single sentence. However, you managed to actually stretch the narrative out so much that it flavours the fic. Some might deem it unnecessary. I'm telling you that I don't.

When the merits of a story is based on atmosphere, and I think you know by now that's my kind of deal, that's all there is to carry things forward. You're along for the ride, and you already know the destination. That's why I love the intro.

And no, I didn't read the epilogue. (will NOW, though) I went straight from this to the Zecora rhyming clop.

Reading clop that rhymes at work, disturbing your colleagues and employees with random bouts of laughter.

THAT'S LEGIT.

1792579
That Epilogue.....
NOPE. That didn't happen =) NOPE.
Also, not a fan of alternative endings or those kind of 'it was all a dream!' stuff. I really like the idea of horror being horror. Also, I love keeping things vague so that interpretation can be used, but I don't like letting the reader choose from a list.. you're the writer, it's your vision, put out one ending and have faith in it! So I think I'll respect your original ending. WITHOUT THE EPILOGUE >=(

I think the second alternate ending, "Forgetting," just might be a better ending than the original.

I would extend it! I'd love the idea that Twilight uses the spell, and everything goes back to normal... and THEN SHE FINDS THE BODY AGAIN. And then AJ just goes out the door with the hammer, frowning, and is all like "This is why y'all don't give ponies second chances" and the scene ends with some weird sounding THWACK from outside while keeping shot in the barn.

1792976 Heh. If Twilight went back and found the body again, I think it would be on Applejack this time for not hiding it well enough. Gotta dig it real deep, girl.

1794327
Yeah, you're right, but I'm a sucker for irony. =D

845135
It's funny how indignant you can get over cartoon ponies.

I actually enjoyed this greatly my friend. Do you still write dark/horror stories?

3080019 I've got a few dark entries among my Thirty Minute Ponies compilations, which seem to be the only things I've been publishing lately. Just look for the chapters tagged as [Dark].

Also, I don't know if you've read it yet, but A Toast to Friendship is in a very similar vein to this story, and I personally feel I wrote that one a bit better.

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

3081462
Ah yes. I've checked all of your stories out, and I quite like them. Mayhaps we can collaborate on an idea sometime.

3081546 Perhaps. I've got a lot of ideas I'm already busy with, among them a mostly abandoned darkfic collab with Kitsune Risu. But maybe if I ever find myself with a bit of spare writing time.

I came close to giving this story a downvote for being tagged "Teen" rather than "Mature". I wonder how in the hay you ever thought that "Teen" would be enough for the first chapter.

4028828 I... I really marked this as Teen? Huh.

This was a long time ago. Maybe I figured that because none of the violence had any blood, it didn't cross the line? How are you the first person to bring this up?

I'm going to change the rating now.

4028999
I doubt I was the first to notice. I guess I was only the first to care enough about this kind of story having proper tagging to comment about it.

The only half-reliable way to avoid unmarked Grimdark here on FIMFiction is to notice the combination of Dark and Gore tags with the Mature rating; thus, since I really don't want to read pony Grimdark, but actually like reading stories with some danger in a not so light word, that specific tagging failure ticks me the wrong way.

No worries, though. And thanks for fixing the rating.

I don't know which ending I like better out of this one or the default one. it is a hard choice. Though naturally, everyone loves an ending where every pony lives.

5376353 Gosh, this has gotten more views lately than it has in a while. Must be the new "Also Liked" feature.

The Epilogue reveals that none of the story ever actually happened. It's just something Pinkie Pie made up.

This dark and oh so twisted tale has earned its place in Tag-A-Long's Book Club.

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