This story is the most well-written, well-thought-out, and overall best story I have read on this site. Amazing work. If you ever need an editor, I would be happy to help, but judging by this story, I doubt you need one.

I heed your warning. Keep up the dark fiction.

BEST. DAMN. Darkfic I've ever read since Cupcakes. I hope you make more.

the problem with this is I don't think she could keep this secret and still be the element of honesty.....that aside........

Dear Chuck Palahnuik,
When did you start writing pony fics?

Hey Esle, just read this over lunch break. Face full of rice, readin' about AJ lynchin' Twilight. Regular work day. It's totally legit.

First of all, I love so many of the elements of description you had set up for the story. You spared no expense in going into detail for scenes that have very little payoff, and I actually appreciate that. Normally, it's hard to do something like that without it ending up redundant or breaking the overall tone of the story, but you managed to pull it off just nicely indeed. A lot of your descriptive verse is very rich and adds to colour the scene.

For the story itself, it's rather simple, but that's not really an issue. The way I read it was as it was - just part of an experience; part of THE experience. And nothing else really matters. Story really is secondary in such tellings, aren't they? So, I found it quite a lot of fun! In fact, I was laughing quite a bit (not in a bad way, I assure you!) because of anticipation of the things that were coming up.

I would akin this to a Fairy Tale of horror stories, or something that people tell around a campfire. It's just for the fun of it. And as per your suggestion, I choose not to see you as a spineless wuss, and I will not read the epilogue.

Now, go write one with a super deep story and thick plot and you'll make my month. =D

Also, hammer to the horn, that entire line about how the spell backfired was brillo. I don't know why I love it that much but I do.

My only beef is that the opening of the 2nd act opens with Applejack as the primary for a very short while. That actually disrupted the flow quite a bit as I don't think we're meant to identify with AJ, and the story really ought to have followed Twilight entirely and be presented from her perspective in order for us to be locked into her experience.

But otherwise, short and sweet! I suppose AJ needs to go find Rainbow now to tie up some loose ends.... Tie up, get it? GET IT?

I don't care if they make you look like a wuss. You wrote them, they can't be that bad.

This story uses TeleportationPhysics. I wrote a blogpost about this. One must also conserve energy too.

Twilight Sparkle should not remember being hit in the head. Indeed, the whole day should be fuzzy.

Well and truly earned the dark tag.