• Member Since 11th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 17th, 2018

Esle Ynopemos

Was that me? Or was it... somepony else?

Comments ( 37 )

It bothers me that this and The East Field were easier for me to write than my light, happy fics. I don't enjoy writing this type of story, so why does it come to me with so much less trouble than the kinds of stories I want to write?


1745619 I know exactly what you mean. Dark is natural to me.

This was good, in a really bad way.

You might want to watch out for the hatetrain, because it's going to hit you like a.... like a train.

This is really good. Like, really good. And the multiple endings are appreciated. Something for everyone, I think. Well done!


I didn't read the one that's sort of before this, but I may if make a note to later on. This was... intense. Even though I'm not new to seeing gore or ponies killing each other in fics, it practically pushed me to the point of just wanting to cry for Fluttershy. I was confused as to why Rarity hated Fluttershy so much she wanted to kill her, but then it was explained close to the end when she tried to get away. You really captured the emotions well, I think, though don't be put-off by me not crying even before taking a little bit of time before reading the end, as it takes a lot to get me going sometimes, nowadays. :fluttershysad: And then, the second chapter, I think definitely reinforced the bond between two of them, as in canon. And the ending was kinda cheesy, but nice. :scootangel:

Anyway, great story! I'll be sure to check out some of your others which I apparently already have on Read It Later list (among many, many others). :twilightblush:

1748743 I seem to have missed my stop. I may be stuck here at the station all night waiting for this train.

In all honesty, I don't mind if this story gets hated on. Like I said, it's not a style of writing I'm very proud to be capable of. I'm rather surprised that I don't have any downvotes on it yet.

1749055 I appreciate the compliment. I'm probably going to write a few extra alternate endings for this just like I did with The East Field, so there will be even more variety. I wonder what it is about this genre that seems to lend itself so well to alternate endings?

1749527 I'm glad I hit the mark for you as far as characterization and emotions go. I love the relationship dynamic between Rarity and Fluttershy in the show, and I wanted to explore and test the bond between them while I was writing this. I'm not insulted at all that I failed to make you cry--I might feel bad if I had, in fact. I am, as one might guess from the second chapter of this story, an utterly sentimental sap, and I would much rather make my readers feel happy than make them cry.

I know where you're coming from with the overloaded Read Later list. It always seems easier to find stories I want to read than it is to find the time to read them. Hopefully when you come around to the other stories of mine on your list, you'll find them to your liking as well!

1748734 No, no, no, no, no.

It's "And then they banged." Read more Winningverse.

i really liked the story so far.. and i don't usually read dark/grimdark (especially if it's rarity killing fluttershy or the other way around)
BUT! i'm off to wrestle some bears now.. after that im reading the epilogue

Sorry, wanted to reply to this sooner, but needed sleep kinda last night when saw you replied; even if would've taken a second, but I have since come up with somewhat more to say.

Yeah, I feel like I'm sentimental as well and did appreciate in the second chapter, that it was (at least, if a reader didn't read that part) something meant to be kind of a tease where Fluttershy was writing about her fears of being harmed by a friend and then forcibly poisoned, though you kept it hidden until then to not ruin things, of course. Lightened me up a bit! :pinkiesmile: Not entirely, cause... you know, you went into detail quite well on Rarity's attempts while Fluttershy was able to try and escape, whether she had injured her or not.

Didn't necessarily talk about characterization as much, at least as far as the first chapter goes. It did make sense at the end, and I'm not usually one to give up mid-read on something (in fact, I read something within last couple days that while disturbing, I kept on going until finished, being stubborn or stupid I suppose :twilightblush:), cause Rarity did kind of act suspicious. But I know in the show, she HAS had 'unladylike' moments a few times, at least; even though that was far different from here, but gotta show some creativity in a work like this one, I understand. :duck:

And heh, not so much me not having time (I have all the time I could possibly want right now, at this stage in my life), but just not making time to focus and having a whacked-off schedule that could be better. And lately, I just keep piling on, especially with all the groups I put myself in a while back and new stories on the front page. PLUS, I have even MORE stories I didn't add to list on the site and added in lists elsewhere, as I didn't want to add, but I decided to say "buck it" as the ponies might, and just do it the easy way. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png Not to mention, handful of people watching here, though been trying to knock some of those off, even if should read sooner than when I do. :twilightsheepish: But again, it was a good story for what it was about! And even had a happy ending, kind of, far as I'm concerned! Sorry to have kinda ranted a little bit. :twilightblush:

Riveting tale, chap. But alas, now I must go. Saxton Hale and I are having our weekly game of Hippie Toss today, and I intend to best his 40 kilometer record this time.

This has the BEST opening line in ANY FIC EVER.


You know, I actually like this one WITH the epilogue.
It actually casts the entire story in a frame, and explains the whole 'removed' nature of the original story... and it works to its benefit. In that way, I found it very 'meta' and quite fitting indeed.

It didn't actually distract from the story itself, which is all there was in this case -- as such stories are meant to be, so... well done.

I liked this one better than Field, honestly, and had a heck of a time reading it. I'm not sure if it was your intention, but I found it hilariously amusing in the reading, Almost like a young filly relishing a plate of fresh, finely chopped carrot pieces. Each succulent slice just a morsel that opens itself to the ones ahead.

You can see them all there on the plate, and you know what's next and you know where it ends, but hell if you can't enjoy them on the way.

Mmm.. carrots.

Nice work!

1809169 That's an... interesting metaphor for it.

Yes, the epilogue is much better keyed to the story as a whole than it was in The East Field. Partially because dark-->heartwarming is not quite as jarring of an emotional transition as dark-->goofy. It also helps that the epilogue was part of the plan the whole time in this, whereas I don't believe I thought of Field's epilogue until I was nearly done with the main story. Hooray, planning!

Of course, the entire story was written as a vehicle for that opening line. I would've just posted the first sentence and nothing else, but that would not have made the minimum word limit.

Love these grimdark but with fluff choice stories. You gonna do Pinkie next?

2018556 I'd be hesitant to write one of these for Pinkie, just because no matter what I did with it people would draw connections to Cupcakes, which I don't really want. The next [Dark] that I've got lined up is going to be a collaboration with KitsuneRisu (who is a helluva lot better at the genre than I am; you should check out his stuff if you get the chance). It'll feature the whole main cast, and it's going to be quite a bit different from this or The East Field.

Glad you liked the story!

I'm not normally a fan of darkfics, but this was brilliantly written, even if it is hurting poor Fluttershy. :fluttercry: The opening line of the first chapter had me hooked, and the twist ending wasn't bad either.

2152311 I'm pleased to know you enjoyed the story. Darkfic isn't my preferred genre, either, which is probably the reason I'm constantly throwing in these lighter twist-endings whenever I write it.

So this definitely gave me the chills. I can only assume you've read The Cask of Amontillado, the first half (Before it switched to Flutters' pov) seriously made me think of that.

Epilogue was cute and made me feel better about the whole thing. >_>

3142819 Very good catch; yes, The Cask of Amontillado was very much the inspiration for this. I kinda regret the POV switch, because I feel like it could have been a stronger piece if it had been more cohesive in that manner. But I'm not sure how I would have done it, because the tension at that point in the story comes from all the things Fluttershy doesn't know.

I'm glad the epilogue made you feel better. It does it for me, too.

I should mention that I think that gap in time between that argument with Sweetie Belle and the decision being made to kill was genius! I can just imagine Rarity's slow decent into madness.
Screams of rage, tossing about furniture, all while cursing Fluttershy's name.

A really good story, and the epilogue fitted perfect. However, you're the better pony of us two. I am writing a sort-of horrorstory and I decided I had to kill them in the end, although I do hate myself for it.

I read The East Field, and then it led me to this story. Both were amazing. Seriously, you are an amazing writer.

My heart was beating like a rabbit as I read this. Thank you for that!

This one's going in The Club as well.


Author Interviewer

Boo, cop out! >:V

At least this ending is easy to ignore. And has some dark merit in itself, given that Fluttershy was able to conceive of the main story.

Honestly, I really loved the story, especially how Poe-esque Rarity's half is. :D I'll have to read The East Field now!

5744183 The ending is a cop-out, no question. But it is at least a self-admitted cop-out, and designed so that the rest of the story can be read without it. That counts for something, right?

I'm glad you enjoyed the story. If you move on to The East Field, though, I feel I should warn you that it is the lesser of the two stories in nearly every way.

Author Interviewer

Hm. :B Well, it was on my RIL anyway (so was this), so it'd happen eventually. :B

Hey, I wrote a review for this story! It can be found here.

This sure is some top notch pony murder fic!

5975687 Neat! Thanks for letting me know.

Dear God. Rarity's madness is all the more disturbing when you realize she thinks this is all normal. I wonder if this is how serial killers think. I don't want to know...

A well deserved signal boost for this dark and twisted tale.

For the shivers this tale sent down my spine...I thank you!

This is wonderful, and I like the epilogue. It makes me feel better for reading it!

I have to agree that the endeing was a cop out (the epolouge that is), and I couldn't be fully bothered to read it. I just relised that it took an 'it was all a story' route and couldn't do it. But utherwise it was good

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