I have always been fascinated by things unknown.
As a little kid, I remember stumbling upon something. I didn't know what it was then, I still don't know what it was now, but all I know is that it shaped me. It was my token, something that gave me good luck. It helped me realize what my own special talents were. It made me want to explore where no one has before.
Maybe that's why this all happened. Because of my own ideas. It's cost me so much already; now I've lost more... And now I'm here, in a world that makes little to no sense at all. Well, maybe a little.
I can fix this. I can find them. I know I can. If it takes forever, so be it, and if it means making friends along the way... Well, how much worse could it get?
My name's Melody.
This is where it began.
This has potential to be interesting. You have my attention.
All rigth, you did a very good set up. I'm interested.
This one has earned a like and a tracker. Should it continue to please me, it shall be faved.
*wake up 1 mile outside of ponyville*
*bleed to death before anypony notices you're there*
*sadpepe.jpg*
This story could be pretty sweet. You sure are good at writing! I hope you don't get discouraged by not having any ideas other than screwing around in Equestria. Few authors realize how much fun it is to read about just everyday life in a fantasy world or a fantastic scenario, and some start feeling like they've failed or stagnated. You just have to remind yourself that we're here to read about ponies, and describing an ordinary day can be as much a success as describing some epic confrontation between mighty forces. The show has taught me that, if nothing else.
has it romance elements in it or something?
I mean I see for myself if this is Human turned pony or if he is a child, but I would be interessted in a romance aspect as well.
I don't really need it to be a that important part, a funny fan crush or something would already be enough.
7731308
*She
We'll see about the romance (which means not right now, no)
7731050
Thanks, mate. Thanks for the advice!
I'll try my best not to disappoint! And don't worry, I never thought of my OC doing random stuff like that anyway. Slice of Life is great!
Not much happening here just yet, be don't know anything about the main character just yet, and we don't know what are the circumstances. I hope we will near more of what is happening in the next chapter.
seems pretty interesting so far, so Ill stick around to see where this goes
Yay.
Also, you have a random V before an "everything" in the chapter
So is she still at the hospital or have she been moved to Derpy's (or Octavia's) house?
'Cause there is nothing monitoring her, no kind of solute to keep her alive, no nurse or doctor anywhere in sight and the first food she take after many weeks of inconsciousness aren't any kind of hospital food and certainly not appropriate; solid food so fast after waking up... Hello stomach cramp!
Anyway, having a big insigth on the mc's thougths is a plus in my opinion, but be careful to make her more coherant when the panic will pass, otherwise it migth be a very rebutting thing for many peoples.
This I can answer with this image from Season 2's "Read It and Weep": i.ytimg.com/vi/REdtORcj66A/maxresdefault.jpg
I would say that yes, there would be equipment needed to monitor her, but that is when she would have been in the human world. With the stallion in the far bed, it can be seen that there is evidently nothing monitoring his vitals, or anything important, really. Now I know I'm not anywhere qualified to say it, but I'm sure that stallion would have needed IV's and stuff in the real world, but we're in Equestria now. And with that, we operate with Equestrian logic.
My headcanon is that magic is all the doctor's really need to supervise and maintain a person, or in this case, a pony's health. TL:DR Equestrian magic is, well, magic. Also, it's Pinkie Pie's baking. What more can one say about it, except that it can defy all logic?
And... her mind is in a broken state right now. Panic and mania is a side-effect of that. She'll be okay in due time.
7749350 Thanks for the edit! I'll try and find it
7749885
You're welcome
Hmm, may need a list later of the various ways her mind breaks. Should be happening at least every Tuesday.
7749885 And yet there is standard electric outlet above his bed
Anyway, he migth've needed some IV, depending on how much fluid he lost in the accident, if there was an operation or not and if he can eat or not. Most likely, he have broken bones, no operation and can "eat" food in liquid form and thus don't need any IV. A friend of mine was in a similar state after a big bicycle crash.
Anyway, your headcanon is acceptable, except that not having any doctor or nurse comming is really stretching the suspension of disbelief. Like: "Oh yeah, comatose foal, almost died, no big deal..."
I knew I needed to start before I really feel interessted in the story. I mean of course I wanted to give it a chance, but right now I feel like I found the right story again.
I hope for a long story or one that is going to allow a sequel without to big timeskips that would take away interessting scenes. You know like maybe her suddenly having a huge amount of friends out of nowhere.
I like special characters, but I hope he isn't going to be that special, to nearly count as OP, and because of that maybe boring.
To be honest couldn't this have been a batch of Derpy's signature muffins?, I mean since she kind of makes them herself in enough storys.
Thank you, I didn't really wanted the new body to make him more emotional, I want at least him to keep his usuall emotional state.
if she should be a filly I kind of hope Derpy to be her mother or one of them, instead of just being the fillys friends, I love adoption storys.
Of course I know Pinkie and I'm not really mad, but sometimes it feels like people are just going overboard with Pinkies abilitys, and make her even more mystical and powerfull than she really is supposed to be.
I'm not sure, but I think about her as a foal is that right?
I like how you write it, but I have an headache again (I need to ask a doctor again), and maybe can't appreciate it as much as I normally would.
Will you say how Octavia meets Vinyl?
7801362 Can you clarify what you mean by that?
Okay first of I really like that the main char seems to have a really bad moment, and I also like that it seems to be something that one can easily understand. I think I actually tried to say that a scene like this is usually written pretty akward, but I like it this time.
He or she, probably really hates how everything she was used to suddenly changed, even "physics" into "Fillycs", while that maybe wasn't needed looks pretty good in the whole problem she has now.
Derpy maybe takes it more serious than it actually is, but either they are all very emotional in your story, or what I'm actually hoping for, that she is just assuming great emotional pain because it happened to her too. It isn't bad, but I hope it isn't just that type of universe where everyone is too emotional, where her Human behavior would be more than odd. I mean where they would look at her with hate in their eyes if she wouldn't simply want to hug someone if you know what I mean.
I don't find the right part, but did she already told them about being a Human? I don't want her to talk about the show, but I was just tryting to think about what kind of reason Melody would use to explain her odd behavior. At first I thought she would somehow try to explain it as a weaker amnesia, and that it is to much stuff that didn't made sense to her, which was the reason why she suddenly started to hurt herself.
Neigh, nix, negatory and other N words.
Probably a wise choice.
Two things.
This kind of reminds me of
Also,
too late!
Honestly my main concern is, that if the story has romance in it, that it isn't the normal doctor x Derpy stuff, mostly because I want something different this time.
Not sure if the character even knows about mlp this time, but then it is a little bit weird that he even assumed it to be "that" doctor.
okay your probably a fan but now it could actually stop.
I can't figure her out, one moment she looks totally disturbed by meeting more than two new friends, and then she is suddenly switching into party mode, being the wildest one on the party.
7804518
Sorry 'bout that. I tried to convey that she was ready to make new friends but was hesitant to actually do so... If it makes any difference, I changed it to make a bit more sense than before.
Also, yes, I am a big Doctor Who fan but this was a special chapter since... Well, Melody is pretty geeky too. You can see where that leads to. I must admit, this was a bit over the top in referencing the DWho part of the MLP fandom, so it's going to be toned down drastically in the future. Sorry again!
7808250 okay that sounds alright, and thank you.
I understand other fandoms but it really was only a little bit to much.
Okay, THAT was funny!
And just for the reference to my favourite family game, you get an extra point.
I know she cares for Melody, but I think they are sometimes overreacting if a character just doesn't want to do something, granted that she seems to have problems with herself, but it wasn't something really bad.
If you are planning to let Bon Bon do her Ninja/agent stuff, I hope Melod will soon enough have something that makes her special too, even if it should be just something like being the one that gives all the good advices, as long as the other characters notice it of course.
I admit that I don't exactly like the character to be that defensless sometimes, if other characters are way to special.
Well otherwise I really liked this chapter, not even my first comment was meant so serious this time. I knew what you wanted to do, I just can't stop and remember other storys, where it actually looks odd that the character can never do what they want or is forbidden to think like a Human or soemthing like that.
Huh?
OH! i get it! Musician. Compose yourself. Clever.
As opposed to, you know, every OTHER word in the English dictionary?
prankster, but it's Pinkie, so i'll let it slide.
if you capitalized Unicorns, you really should capitalize Pegasi.
Also, that's really clever.
I had read several storys about suicide lately, but I can't remember what she did that Derpy could think in that direction.
sometimes I just prefer it if they don't try to explain Pinkie, or if she isn't exactly talking about her powers. However I usually like that and only hate it if she is talking to the author or to the readers.
Well maybe that was a little bit to much looking into the future or something.
Well a short, but still nice chapter. I like it that Derpy only looks like she would care for her even if I forgot the big reason and isn't just forcing her into anything.
7886155 Clever how? The explanation, or the meta? Also, unicorns is capitalized because it's the beginning of the sentence. I don't know about you, but capitals are always present in the first word of a sentence.
7886198 Melody had a mental breakdown in the middle of a marketplace. Derpy would, of course, want someone to look after her. And trust me, Melody is too much of a rational character to commit suicide, but she will heavily blame herself for what has happened.
You know, I really appreciate the comments you people put on this story. Thank you
7886468 ahhh okay thank you I remember that even if I think it didn't looked to crazy , but the way it sounded I thought Derpy would assume that she is going to kill herself.
Now it looks a bit like Derpy would only not want her to be sad, could it be that in this universe the ponys or at least Derpy are a bit overly emotional again?
I would like it if they talk about their differences after a while and if Derpy or others would actually accept some of her ways to act in certains situations, I mean they know that she is or was a Human right? I really need to read it again to be sure on how much they know.
I'm glad to hear that and I hope it isn't getting to much with me talking about what I prefer and what I don't like so much, but I guess that is exactly what you want and meant.
7886546 So no, the ponies are not "overly emotional". That's actually preposterous, no offense, since i'm trying to make this real. As real as it gets in a world of colorful talking ponies. The reactions of Derpy to Melody are just that, reactions, although Derpy is trying to understand why her friend is like that.
Remember, Derpy had been there when Melody was still in the hospital, having emotional bursts. Think about how that might paint Melody's reactions to things and actions in a different light.
And no, Melody hasn't told them she is or used to be human. She almost did, but she didn't. Not yet.
7886468 My mistake.
I apologize for that. Ignore that first idiocy.
2. Ponies recharging their magic when they're in their element. That, i thought, was pretty clever.
As if it didn't look bad enough. (I think you mean homey.)
Open mouth, insert hoof.
I'd say knock on wood, but, oh yeah, the castle is made of crystal.
7889735 I've been meaning to ask, I actually love how he says continuity, but what do you mean by it when you post it?
7889981 I mean that you make references that line up with the show's canon, you know, consistent with the timeline.
7890064 Awesome! Thanks. Yeah, a lot of the stories I make, I try and adapt to the mane timeline as closely as I can.
Plus, I like it when you post continuity. Lol. I had certainly inferred it before, but, you know.
There will be payback!
Also,
Nice chapter, but all the time they shake their head at something dissaprovingly, I think that someone is going to talk about stuff like "Fluttershy not wanting to do that", or just actually doing something against what they believe is a problem.
She's not doomed, she's groomed.
7921953 I don't think Melody sees it that way
Remember when THAT was a thing?
7922153
7921953 Why not both?