• Member Since 10th May, 2014
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

MrWriterWriter


If anyone recognizes me from Fanfiction.net, Hey guys! It's me.

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Every weekend when the library's closed and no threats to Ponykind are around, Spike and Twilight enjoy their nights with munchies and some flicks. This time though, their choice of cinema encourages some interesting discoveries between the long-time friends.



(Image is cropped from Frist44's work on Derpibooru.)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 27 )

@MrWriterWriter...

1. Overall, I give this a positive-sided "it was all right" for storytelling.

2. Critique-wise, linking the songs mid-story takes away from reader immersion in the story rather than adding ambience.

3. Additionally, I think this could have gone better without having Spike's side-by-side commentary of his failed relationship with Rarity. Rather, having the two focused upon the movie, and their commentary upon it, and then coming to realize their changed feelings towards each other through it, might have gone better.

"How about the schlub that's right beside you?"

Oh gods, the cheese.

Loved it. Short, funny, and it accomplishes what it set out to do.:twilightsmile:

I have to admit, this story is interesting, it gave me some great development and great build-up too. And I hope you continue this series^^

7759581 I second this!

7760103 well what if I third it!? Huh punk?!


7759574 while I agree with the first two points I think spikes comparison with his failed relationship and the protagonists is a major point in his realization of twilight's feelings.

7760117 Then I'll exponential it!

Though it's a shame we won't see a sequel similar to the image. Twilight leaving lipstick marks all over Spike, both cuddled together on a blanket, and like two dozen condoms on the ready!

7760150 don't get my hopes up!

7760150 I had originally considered a 2nd chapter where they did have an intimate moment, but felt just leaving it like this was a bit more appropriate.

7760364 Tis good as it is, my friend.

Overall nice story but

I call offence to that first song it is nothing but a sham compared to this Long live Dire Straights

A suggestion for the music videos: make them embedded links in the text instead of inserting them directly into the story. It's much less obtrusive and allows the reader to ignore them if they don't want to listen.

Dude you should totally make a sequel to this story

I have to say that i really liked this fic but i think im gonna be a bit gassy tonight from so much cheder and swiss

Not bad but the ending seemed too abrupt.

The end is a little out of left field. It's expected due to description, but doesn't really fit the set-up. There doesn't really seem to be anything that screams "budding romance" between the two. Especially since Spike is largely talking about how his relationship with Rarity didn't work out. Not exactly romantic conversation.

7760364 definitely needs a sequel cause of that sudden and abrupt ending

I must be so strange compared to the others . I didn't think the ending was abrupt at all, I didn't see this romantic venture being forced, and I didn't see the whole ordeal with Rarity and Spike as being a detraction from the story, but a voice for drawing comparison between the characters in the show and the characters in the story. It adheres to a minimalistic story architecture, focusing on as few details as possible while still getting the point across. This was really well written.

My only critique is that the music videos were unnecessary.

Coming off of this story, this was...meh.

I have to say that I actually would like some closure where Spike and Twilight visit Rarity for the first time as a couple. It would be such delicious closure. Plus that vengeful part of me would love for Spike to formally 'friendzone' Rarity for Twilight. I'm seen too many time where the male is in the friendzone by the girl, so obviously, I'm elated to see it the opposite way where the girl is friendzoned by the guy.

Did a little reading of this one.

I hope someone enjoys!

Have a good one.

8353678
Wow, this is the first time I've ever had anyone do a reading of one of my fics! Cool

"And you called foul on me." Twilight pouted slightly as she stared at Spike who was currently lounging on the couch.

He gave a cheeky grin of his own. "The benefits of not needing a shirt."

Spike, my brutha, you just made my day with that! :rainbowlaugh:

she stopped abruptly when their lips met. Her eyes widened briefly before coming to a slow close.

D'awww, really like this one >w<! Thanks for using my art as the cover too! Real Sweet! (This is Frist from deviantART btw, I can prove it :0!)

I love this story so much!!! :twilightblush: :heart: :moustache:

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