The One Who Left
The portal deposits me and Spike on the Cutie Map again. My head’s still spinning, and I’m still trying to get back on my feet, when a familiar voice says, “Hey.” I hesitate, then look up.
It’s me. Wings, horn, and all. She looks a lot less healthy than me, though. There are bags under her eyes, her mane and tail are in a mess, and I swear she’s so thin I can see ribs poking out. She’s looking at me with some combination of hope and dismay. I wish I knew what was going through her head.
I smile slightly. “Um, hey.” It’s all I can say. Somehow, I’ve never encountered myself in these time jumps, and talking to an alternate version of yourself is a lot different than talking to an alternate version of your friends. I know I should jump right back into it, but for some reason, I can’t.
None of us speaks for a moment. She and I stare at each other, and Spike’s just fidgeting and looking off into space. She breaks the silence and coughs. “Are you me from the future? Please?”
I blink. Where did that come from? “Um, no. Sorry.” Already, I can tell this is not going to go well. “It’s, I’m from an alternate timeline, and I know it’s not good here, so I’m going to go back and fix this.” It still sounds weird to me. I probably shouldn’t be telling her that, but it feels like she needs to know. I levitate the scroll in front of me. “Now, I-”
She twitches like I hit her. Surprise and pain run across her face. “What?” she gasps. “You’re not even going to try to help me? Or ask what’s going on?”
Honestly, after everything I’ve seen, all the universes have started blurring together. I’ve never been in this one, I’ve never felt myself, but I don’t need to add yet another memory on top of the ones I already have. “I don’t need to. I just need to go back in time and right a certain wrong, and none of this will happen.”
Her face sinks, and I immediately know that was the wrong thing to say. “But… but I need you. Equestria needs you.” She must be desperate; I’ve never pleaded like that before. It hurts me more than she can know. “With another alicorn, we can beat back the Smooze in weeks. Without you, I…” She sniffs, and her next words are a whisper. “I don’t know if we can make it.”
I start shuffling my hooves and flicking my tail. “It’s more complicated than that.” It sounds like an excuse to me. Probably to her, too. “This timeline? It’s wrong, and I need to set it right.” But that still won’t change that I abandoned myself in my hour of need. No matter how much I tell myself that it was necessary.
She blinks. She’s going to explode soon. I know I would. “Set… it… What do you mean, it’s wrong?” she snaps. “Why should your world be right and mine be wrong? It’s… Look, if you want to go back, fine. But you’ve got a time travel spell, you’ve got all the time you need!” She’s very right on that account, at least. “Just… Please, just help us clean this all up. Then, if you go back and can’t fix it, we’ll all be alright. Please.”
“I’ll just keep at it until I do fix it,” I say. My voice is steady, but my words keep sounding shakier and shakier to myself. “As long as I have to. Then none of this will happen.” I’m still leaving her behind.
“So you’re going to kill me?”
I twitch. It only takes a second of thinking to realize where she came up with that. I try and fail to ignore it. “No!” I yell. But I would. She’s not me, she never can be me. Changing the timestream won’t change her, it’ll erase her. “I’d never do a thing like that! I just wa-”
“But what’s going to happen to me? I’m not you, a-”
“You’ll become me. Trust me, you’ll live in a better world.” I realize the implications of what I say much too late. But the words are already out and she’s already responding.
She slams her hooves on the table and stands up. “I’ll become you?” she yells, her voice steadily getting louder and louder. “Why can’t you become me? Why are you the important one? I’ve been fighting the Smooze for a year! Why does that mean nothing to you? Why should your timeline exist instead of mine? Why can’t you help us?”
I take a step back, my wings flaring a little. The more she talks, the more troubling this becomes. I want to help her, truly, but I can’t stay here. “My timeline’s the one that was changed,” I whisper. “Yours is the one that replaced it. I’m, I’m putting mine back in place.” I cringe internally. That probably sounds so self-centered to her. “You’re not supposed to be here.” I’m digging myself a deeper hole with ever word out of my mouth. Why am I justifying this to her? Probably because she’s me. I’m justifying this to myself. It’s not working with me.
It’s not working with her, either. “Why’s yours so important? Why you? Why not me?” I recognize that tone. She’s holding back sobs. She’s hiding it well, but I can still hear it. “Why do you get to try to erase me from history? I’m not you. Why can you replace me?”
I start looking away. Talking to her’s getting harder. It’s easy to change alternate versions of your friends. It’s less easy to erase yourself, no matter how much that would be a mercy. It’s easy to accept a timeline change will change you. It’s less easy to accept a timeline change will remove you. “Maybe you won’t disappear,” I whisper. I’m trying to reassure her, but I already know I’m going down the wrong path. Either I kill her or I leave her behind in whatever hellhole this is. That’s that. “Maybe you’ll… you’ll still exist, a-”
“Then help us!” she begs. She starts sobbing. “P-please! I’ve been at this f-for a year, and there’s n-no end in sight! But… b-but with you, I… we can do it. I kn-know we can. Please. P-please.” I’ve never seen myself like this. I can only imagine what she’s been through. And yet I can’t spend months helping her.
“Listen,” I whisper, “I’d like to.” I want to help her. I really, really do. But I can’t risk myself, and I can’t let my Equestria down. And yet it sounds hollow; by leaving, by running, I’d be letting her Equestria down. More and more, her words hit home. “But if something were to happen to me, then the original timeline would nev-”
“Why are you the only one who can choose?” she bellows. The tears are gone, and she’s raging. It’s hard to blame her. “Everything’s about you, you, you! But I’m here now! If I’m going to die when you change history, then help me so I can die in peace! If I’m going to stay here, then help me so I can live in peace! Just… just help me, you spineless…” There’s only one reason she can’t finish that sentence. Nothing she can say would sum up her contempt for me. I try to tell myself I’d be different in her position, more accepting. But I can’t.
I stare at her for a moment. My vision clouds. She almost has me. But I can’t stay here. This isn’t my Equestria. This isn’t the right timeline. I can’t risk myself for something that may never exist in the first place. And yet, I can’t bring myself to leave. This Equestria needs me. This timeline needs me. I know that if I wait another few seconds, I will stay. It’s the right thing to do. So I…
“We’re leaving, Spike.” I loathe myself even as I say it.
The scroll glows and the portal opens again above the Map. Spike and I start to rise into the air. She’s left standing there, dumbstruck, before she bolts into action.
“No!” she screams. “You can’t do this!” She lunges for me. I almost let her grab me, almost let her come with us. But I can’t. I bat her away with magic, and it feels like something breaks inside me. Passively leaving her behind is one thing. Actively keeping her from coming with us is another. She slides across the floor and slams into the wall as Spike and I disappear into the portal.
I can hear her last words as the portal closes. “Don’t leave us, you coward! Please d-don’t leave us!”
She’s right. I’m running, leaving her behind, to save myself. And it hurts.
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Dang.
Wow. Ouch.
I can't really put into words how I feel about this, more so than usual. It's not really my forte. But...
Y'know, it's been over a year since the last time a story drew my attention enough to read it without outside pressure of some sort.
I'm not sure what I expected from reading this, but I can definitely say I wasn't disappointed.
So good job on writing something strong enough to get my attention and good enough to not make me regret it.
That's an obvious moral quandry in Cutie Re-Marked, and with alternate world travel in general. I try to lay a grounding for such stories in Post-Traumatic (particularly in "A Robust Universe", in the context of which Twilight-Prime would have been making a strategic decision to invest her efforts in stopping Starlight (who was realizing these possible alternate worldlines with her spell) rather than fighting individually in each timeline against whatever horror Starlight had accidentally unleashed in that one. But it would still be emotionally hard for Twilight-Prime,
The evidence is that Zecora from the Chrysalis Triumphant Timeline was the only one who instantly understood this, and agreed with Twilight-Prime's orderings of priorities, which says interesting things of what Zecora may have learned from The Harmony.
Interestingly, under my concept of how Alternate Worlds work, Twilight Sparkle-Prime did not snuff the existing worldlines that Starlight Glimmer-Prime created when she meddled in the timeline. What Twilight did was prevent Starlight from spawning any more worldlines and letting them drain away the ontological energy of the prime-line into the alternates (which might have eventually resulted in one of the alternates becoming the prime-line).
Which means ... all those worldlines still exist. Including the one that Zecora may have died in. Though we don't know exactly what happened there -- but it sure looks like Chrysalis defeated her. Though, given that Zecora is a subtle sort of character, fully as tricky in her benevolent way as Chrysalis in her malevolent way (and why not? They're both at least half-Zebra in the SWSV), there may have been something else going on there as well.
("Strike me down, and I will become more powerful than you can imagine" level trickiness, I mean).
"She’s right. I’m running, leaving her behind, to save myself. And it hurts."
Two different perspectives, two sides of the same coin...
Damn. Deep. And dem feels. Nice one.
This... sucks.
(I mean the entire situation that both Twilight found themselves, not your fic!)
It is very well written, in the sense that you show both sides of the situation: how Alt!Twilight is desesperate and thinks that Twilight-Prime is being selfish, and how Twilight-Prime understand the problem of her alternate but can not run the risk...
It is a very good work.
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. This alternate Twilight is demanding that Original Twilight stay and help her because Original Twilight's world shouldn't be more important than any other. But by saying that, she's implying that her miserable, broken world is the most important one, for no greater reason than that she (understandably) doesn't want to die and see her hard work go to waste, or to have to keep living in pain and know that help was just out of reach. She's literally demanding that an entire, peaceful, well-defended world cease to exist because she thinks that her hellhole is also important.
And she called Original Twilight self-centered?
7364835
Well, to be fair, her reasoning is that with a time travel spell, it doesn't matter whether or not PrimeTwi leaves now or in two years; the end result will be the same.
So she's asking PrimeTwi to give an ultimately insignificant amount of time to help her entire world, not asking her to choose to save her world at the expense of PrimeTwi's.
Which I guess is why it's so hard for PrimeTwi to refuse.
7365418 Still rings hollow and hypocritical. If at any point Prime!Twilight's seriously hurt or killed (and from the state of Alt!Twilight, it's clear she's alone and thus, her version of the alicorn tetrarchy is for some reason unable to help her, presumably dead or out of commission, which means that Prime!Twilight can be as well), she damns her world and all she cares about because she felt obligated to play hero to a world that might as well not exist. All it takes is one slip up, and she already can't afford any slip ups that aren't where/when Glimmer is.
It may be an insignificant amount of time comparatively, but it risks everything she cares about practically. That's what it is to have the weight of the world on your shoulders. She can moralize it and self-deprecate and loathe all she likes, and her double can weep and wail and condemn, but the double is demanding she wager everything she has and is on a cause that is not hers, on a world that is not hers. Prime!Twilight might be selfish, but she's also taking the safest bet she can with the burden she bears. The alternate is no less selfish for demanding that her parallel clone risk everything for her and her world.
There is no moral quandary here. This isn't about right or wrong. This is about saving a planet, and unfortunately for the alternate, the original has the cards in her hand. That's all there is to it. She would've done the same, and if she hadn't, then she would need to ask herself where she gets the arrogance to think she's entitled to put an entire world on the line for the sake of another and still call herself a protector.
Why bother going through all this if the alt timeline will just cease to exist the moment Twi fixes everything?
If the alt-universe theory is in play... then ALL the possibilities MUST exist regardless... rendering time alteration moot to begin with.
And if it's that stupid DBZ time mechanism where only actions by characters result in a branched timeline... then just summon Goku to blow up the baddies because why not it makes no sense anyway.
7365452 Unless this is an evil Smooze that is like, Blob Dalek, or something like that and enjoys exterminating life.
7364791 She should have just shot her alt self in the face.
Because, she basically killed her off anyway... might as well have some fun with it!
"Hee hee! I killed myself, but I'm still alive! So much existential crisis!"
"I'm leaving myself to save myself... and I'm realizing this is so F'd up that this is why the Time Lords used to be so strict about interfering with their own time line..."
7365702
I mean, I'm not saying she's right, just that it's an understandable point of view.
Wow, some people really are ball busters in the comments huh?
Just able to sacrifice a world without a second thought of the consequences. Just because they came first.
At the very least, Twilight felt pain in what she was choosing to do. I see people going "too bad, alternate universe, you can suck my ass" and I'm just like wow. At least understand that you're hurting someone in your decision to abandon them. Either that world stays shitty and it's more or less your fault for not trying to help, or they cease to exist entirely, and that's a whole different level of fucked up.
People aren't save files you can just delete, you know. You're going to remember them, you're going to know that you doomed them one way or another, and denying either of those things makes you a shitty person. Twilight isn't a shitty person because she understood what she was doing and made the best choice for her. She felt anguish, remorse, and maybe even regret.
But hey, what do I know. I'm an idiot that probably would have stuck around to help because I'm an idiot.
This story is a perfect example of the old saying "damned if you do, and damned if you don't," and one only needs to look at the comments to see this ring true. No matter what Twilight Prime does here, it doesn't sit well with her own sense of morals and fair play, never mind those of the readers. Sure, she could spend some time trying to "fix" this world. But then she could potentially do that with any of the worlds that she came across. Where does she draw the line? A few hours of assistance? Days? Months? Years? She may very well be "wiping out" alternate timelines when she leaves, but she didn't create them in the first place. Starlight Glimmer made the mess, and Twilight is being forced to clean it up.
7364500
I've been saying Starlight essentially ended up creating each of these complete separate timelines/parallel universes, and is thus responsible for how horrible they all turned out. The wars, the devastation of nature, the likely dead Luna in almost all but two of them, the baked and wasted apocalypse-world with no sun or moon in the sky likely signifying Celestia and Nightmare Moon killed each other on her return.
But, like you, downvotes start popping up. Not entirely sure why, it makes perfect sense.
Loved it. Simply loved it.
) but here are my thoughts.
Now, I didn't read all of the comments (currently at work, inserting a word here and there
It shouldn't matter one tit whether that universe stays or gone as far as Twilight Prime should be concerned. True, she has no idea for sure whether they stay or not, but the fact remains. There was a potential world there, full of people, full of life, and she decided to forsake them. Whether that universe ends up not existing or not, it doesn't matter to Twilight. She condemned them to death either way. Even if it ends up being merged, when the decision came up she made her choice, and being lucky enough to be justified later on doesn't make up for it.
Was she right to do that? That's a bit hard to say. Should she have endangered the only chance her own world had for another world that might end up gone anyway? It is a terrible choice, and the burden of answering it the way she did will stay with Twilight forever. The only true consequence of her choice is the weight of a world on her soul, and that's something she might not be able to bear after some time.
Of course, if you really want to know what the right choice was all you have to do is ask; WWOPD (what would Optimus Prime do)?
That hurt.
You know the funny thing is that Twilight never realized that whatever is destroying this world is still a potential threat in her own, so she missed out on the opportunity to gather valuable intel. Now, if the smooze ends up becoming a problem down the road, she'll remember this Twilight mentioning it and probably kick herself.
You'd be amazed how useful foreknowledge is for dealing with an enemy quickly and without casualty. She could have found out where it came from to keep a look out, what was tried to stop it that failed so she doesn't waste time doing the same things, and ultimately find a method of defeating it with the help of another twilight so that if and when the smooze showed up, she could make fast work of it.
7368926 Thanks for the correction, it's good to meet a fellow trekkie.
Powerful. I really like AU philosophy, and this is great.
It's nice, concise, and complete as it is, but if you ever wanted to make it a longer story, that could be really good, too. Even so, if you choose to leave it like this, it's just as good.
... Dang. That almost sounds like the same kind of dilemma that the story itself is about.
Well, Twilight is sure to remember this timeline, and torment herself for her choices.
I have reviewed this HERE.
I will say, this is the reason the Prime Directive exists in Star Trek. Not because of exploitation, though that's an issue as well, but because the Federation is too nice. Without a rule literally telling them to say no to requests for help, they'd throw everything they have into humanitarian projects, never taking the time to care for themselves or their own people. They want to help, they want to do good, but if it costs you everything, is it a good thing? This is one of the reasons I liked the Alignment Chart back in older DnD, it rejected the notion, save for Paladins, that 'Evil Triumphs when good men, do nothing'. You are responsible only for what you do, not what you fail to do, and yet, I'll admit, it doesn't make the failure to act hurt less.
Okay, the entire story is built upon the "sin of inaction". Or whatever you call it. Blaming people for not helping when your can. "Great responsibility" of superheroes. Although, actually, it's a fallacy. Just a manipulative way to control the powerful for the sake of weak. One of the many, many psychological tricks civilizations developed on par with patriotism to tie people into helping each other even when it makes no sense logically.
In other words, if we remove the implicit emotional factor, branch Twilight immediately becomes very historic and selfish.
"Why must I die and you live? I should replace you instead." "You can help, so risk you life and lives of everyone in your world and help me!" "If one of our worlds has to disappear, it must be yours, even if mine is about to be destroyed by itself." "I have failed in protecting my world. You have to do the job for me."
No, Twilight. This world didn't die because you didn't help. In fact, you might not be able to help anyway. It died by itself, because other you failed her job, but it's easy to hang the blame on someone else.
P.S. in the show, Starlight stopped Rainbow Dash in many different ways in the same moment, without meeting herself. This is a proof of the fact that she is rewriting the changes in the same timeline, so all those worlds would not persist past the spell. Unless she is creating a copy of the original timeline every single time before changing it, which is ridiculous, and would not affect the original, making the entire thing useless.