The world is full of legends of ponies facing great evils or overcoming impossible odds in the name of good.
These legends live on forever in history.
This however is a legend that was overshadowed by the events surrounding it and lives on not in the history books, but as a simply story ponies tell each other around a campfire or over a mug of cider.
While much of the story has changed over the centuries the core of this legend has remained the same.
This is the legend of Lieutenant Raven Sheild and how on the night of Nightmare Moon's rebellion, she and a small band of soldiers stood in the path of a mad alicorn.
Chapters (2)
FIRST!!..... I know i hate my self too . Oh yeah and i guess i should probably tell you. Good story.
Other than the few grammatical errors, this was pretty good.
My issue is this, how did they know to call her Nightmare Moon? “We aren’t equipped to fight Nightmare Moon!” is the first instance of a guard saying her name. This is her first appearance, no one knows her name, not even Celestia.
7620668 next chapter reveals why.
Scorch... This is fantastic. All my good feels have been hit, and a few sad ones as well. And I love you for it.
I really like the idea behind this story, as well as the amount of detail you put into this. Raven surely has a great authority
However, the execution is quite hard on eyes and often requires the reader to read the overly long sentences twice, if not even more times. Just look at how long is this one and how much information it contains. Yet, it could have been easily split into multiple shorter sentences, which would also help you emphasize the tensed moment.
8410917
Yeah, I'm not the best at writing.
I'm more of a storyteller.
8441780
No problem, writing can always be practiced, unlike storytelling
(Late reply is late... sorry.)