• Member Since 15th Jan, 2016
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DarkSpider


I'm just a random guy who wants to read good fanfics. If you want to know anything about me, (I doubt any of you do, but you never know) just ask me

T

Well, my life has gone insane. I was attending my first ever convention with my mom and sister, dressed in a costume that looks like a black and blue Spider-Man that took me months to make. Then I find someone who offers me a mask and sword that'll complete my costume. Next thing I know, I'm in an anthro version of Equestria with all of Spider-Man's powers and abilities and my sister is a pink hedgehog with a hammer.


My own little take on a Displaced story. This is my first ever story, so constructive criticism is appreciated. Rated T for some swearing. Also, first 2 chapters are currently pretty bad but the rest is decent so please don't judge it until you finish chapter 3.

Feedback (your thoughts in the comments) on chapters will be appreciated.

Chapters (33)
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Comments ( 533 )

Yea the ending ruined any enjoyment I found in this. Why didn't his spider-sense warn of any danger????

7361182 Yeah, from what I know, if you don't think you're in danger, or not paying attention, you might not pay attention to the spider-sense. That, and those who have equal to or greater speed to Spidey can still hit him

7361221 You're welcome. Hope you enjoy my story. Already working on the third chapter, and it's already the longest one yet

When did Spider-Man ever have a a costume that was only black and blue? Will Mephisto appear in this story?

7361417 I said that it was a custom costume that's only similar to Spider-Man, and no, I know nothing about Mephisto besides OMD, and I'm not doing that

Awesome and unique story, I'm liking the route you've taken.
Keep up the good work!

Looks like Spike and Starlight are going to have put up with another roommate.
Awesome chapter!

7369141 Well, yeah. Your writing appears to be adequate (for me anyway), you've got a good story developing and the way the characters interact with each other is sufficient.

7369154 Wow. Thank you very much. I hope you still like it in the future

Nice chapter!
I'm liking the interactions you've set up with the characters, too.

Ugh, the Merchant... My guys are still a bit miffed at him...

Damn, poor Tito... You've gotten me hooked!

7372907 Hell yeah! You've managed to make quite the story so far, Really like the custom Spiderman character!

7372914 You do? I thought people'll hate that

7372934 Some people won't, but others will! And when you start doing crossovers, I'm always up for one!

7372940 Really? Cool. And about that crossover thing, I about ready for it anytime

7372960 Oh... Well, if you're up for doing it now or tomorrow, I'm game! Here's the story you're gonna be crossing over with: For the Emperor and the UNSC!

7372972 Cool. Though one problem. I have no idea how to do a crossover. At all

7372982 Basically either you summon a Displaced with their token (or theirs if there are more than one, as is the case with my characters) or they summon your guy. Seeing as your guy is new to the whole Displaced thing, it would make sense for Tito to have my guys come into his world.

7373000 Okay, I know that, I meant I don't know how to write it in

7373015 Ah... Well, my characters' summoning phrase is: "This is Sebastian of the Dark Angels Chapter... And I'm Spartan Sebaste-915 of the UNSC.... Together, we are humanity's last hope in the future. If you're in need of the galaxy's most powerful supersoldiers, or if you are needing to bring death to the enemies of the Imperium and the UNSC, we will answer the call... AVE IMPERIATOR, FOR THE UNSC, FOR TERRA!" and their tokens are a Warhammer 40,000 Chainsword and a Halo 3 style assault rifle.
And I'm sure you'll find some way to fit it in, I know I had to when I first started my first Crossover

7373030 Okay. Is there a specific way to summon them? By that I mean that some Displaced have you say a phrase or throw their tokens. Your guys have anything like that?

7373053 Mostly, they pick up the token and say why they need them and a portal appears in front of them, heh, one time my guys got summoned just as a bomb had gone off in their portal! But yeah, that's the gist of it

I had a lot of fun also with this chapter!

7378659 well I can't wait to get started on part 2. Pm me whenever you're ready. May need to make a new doc though

Comment posted by Galaxy of Equestria deleted Jul 10th, 2016

7384396 RWBY, Red Vs Blue, some of the songs you have in other chapters.

Hmmm... I might just want to do a crossover with you.... One, to make your character want to get stronger to defend his people, and two, to teach him how harsh the multiverse truly is. Of course, you don't have to if you don't want to.

7385347 um, it's not like my guy thinks the multiverse is good. That's kinda the reason he said that last part on his message

I am starting to hate my Irish dna. *gets out a giant barrel of beer and drinks it*

Hmm...an interesting approach to things, I'll give you that.
My offer for that crossover is still up, though I will be reconsidering how I would handle things. Heh.
For example, are you planning on having Amy do any crossovers before she reunites with Tito? If not, I can gladly send any of my Displaced to meet her, whether they be From Ahriman's group, the Piraka, the Nightmare animatronics, or heck, even the Emperor!

If your interested, please take a small bit of your time to do a quick flip through of my Displaced so you can see which ones will be less likely to come to arms against your characters. Or who will be willing to fight.

Aaaaannnd I'm rambling again.
But also, would you need me to not use any profanity?

7399450 To answer the first question, no, I'm not having Cece meet any Displaced before reuniting with her brother. As for the crossover....I'll consider it. Ad for the last question, what do you mean?

Ughh...Displaced self-inserts. The cancer of Fimfiction. As if they couldn't get any worse. But now they did. I swear I want to kill myself after reading this. I might as well link this to Dropbear so he can have a poke at this dead corpse as well.

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