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Chapter 61,248 words

Chapter 6

As we arrived at the door to Twilight's comfortable little literal tree house, I had to wonder if the tree was actually alive or hollowed out. It appeared to actually be alive still, and that was pretty wicked if you ask me. Weird, but in drug trips nothing really made sense at times, so I just chucked it up to a job of my brain's, but still this was an overly strange sight to see. It was odd, but this weirdness was exactly what I was looking for when I took those drugs, and thus I am happy with the outcome of the situation. What I was not happy with was the fact that everyone else here got magic too.

My eyes roam upward slowly to let it sink in I was a baby magical pony that could shoot lasers, and apparently perform A-ranking spells like D&D. That was freaking awesome in itself, but there's something creepy about this whole town. While I had spaced out, Twilight had said something about... well, something, but I hadn't been listening as I found myself in the building standing in the middle of the library without a Twilight or Rainbow Dash in sight.

"Well, this sucks." I say to myself, realizing my current predicament, but hey! They left me alone, so chances are I could probably run off. The question is, what exactly was in this world? It likely wouldn't be a good thing to run off if this world had a class ranking system, and then again every world has it's own evil, and story. Running off like this would only get me killed.

"I honestly don't think he's gonna run off Twi', but I'm telling you there's something off about him. He seems normal enough, besides the obvious things, but for some reason I get a creepy feeling coming from him." Rainbow Dash was hovering behind the purple pony, the two in question were helping an upset Spike pick up books after Twilight had excused them, but Twilight's idea was actually to inspect the troubled colt from afar while helping Spike to see what would happen if she left him alone. "I'm all down for like, making sure he's not up to no good but don't you think this is a little... Well, wrong?"

"Shush Rainbow Dash, this is the only way to make sure that he isn't doing anything shady. If we're staring at him, he'll only make the effort to not be himself."

"Yeah, but-"

"Twilight, we need to have a serious talk about you doing your work with your magic." Spike cut off Rainbow Dash. Twilight blinked, glancing at Spike with a bewildered look.

"Shh, not now Spike I'm busy." Twilight huffed, wanting to turn back to stare at Max-- but noticed the very specific tome Spike was holding in his claws. "And be careful with that tome! It's--"

"NO! You're ALWAYS busy! And I'm SICK of it!" Spike threw down his book, folding his arms in dismay-- To Twilight's genuine horror, the book he'd managed to throw down in his fit of anger was one of the magical spell tomes that was meant to be held and cared for very carefully. "-OOPS!"

"Ah, pony feathers." The three cursed simultaneously, as the book began to quiver angrily at the mistreatment of itself, the whole library began to quake as the book's rusted chains shattered from the force shooting out the book, and into the library ceiling, causing a thick blue circular magical hole to open as the beam of light held a steady kinetic output, ominously, it began to shift from the blue color to an eerie dark red, causing the whole room to turn shades darker as if the book was stealing all the light.

"Spike... You're grounded forever..." Twilight scolded, her coat going pale with terror as the book began doing something she didn't even know was possible until today.

"Like I already wasn't!?"

"HEY! This isn't a time for argument! We gotta stop this book! Hey- where'd the kid go?" Sure enough, the two had looked over and the tiny pony was currently missing from his original perch.

"Double ponyfeathers..." Twilight muttered under her breath. "And watch your mouth!" She berated firmly to Spike's earlier usage of foul words.

"You have set an amazing example." He deadpanned. "And is this really the time to be worried about that!?" Twilight's cheeks turned red with embarrassment, and ire for Spike's smart remarks, but before she could open her mouth she realized they didn't have time for that, right now there was a book spouting large enough of energy-- with no effects happening in the library at all, and Max currently missing!

"...If nothing is happening in the library..." The three turned to the currently open door, where they now knew that Max had officially left, and that currently the book was causing something to happen inside the town.

"PONYVILLE!" Rainbow Dash and Twilight shouted in terror, dashing out the library by foot and wings respectively as Spike was left in the library to himself, with a currently dangerous book shooting out huge amounts of energy.

"Well, crud." Spike turned slowly to the creepy book, to notice to creepy aura of the room getting even only creepier as the two had departed, leaving only him in the room.

"Sup. Are you like a lizard or something?" Spike blinked as he turned to now note that the pony hadn't fled off, and was currently standing in front of him with a nonchalant look, before he'd turned to notice the book currently spouting magic with it's dark effects. "Uh, what the heck is that?" Max paled with abject terror as he witnessed what could possibly be the start of a very bad trip.

"Trouble, that's what it is... Wait, but if you didn't open the door... Who did?" , a loud slamming sound- suspiciously like that of a door startled the two as they whirled their heads to look toward the now shut front door. "Ponyfeathers! Something really creepy is happening right now..."

"You're telling me, and I thought it was just this town." Max muttered, realizing just how strange this whole situation was. Excluding the whole on the floor in comatose state in the real world deal, and the fact this was some sort of hallucination. "Wait, where'd Twilight and Rainbow Dash go?"

"They went after you! Well, at least we thought they did... But something tells me that was a ploy to get them out of the library..." The two turned their heads slowly to the ominous book, the walls began to shift from it's wood brown, to a soft looking red organ material found in internal organs. The two paled heavily.

"I knew coming here was a bad idea!" Max cursed. Spike proceeded to flail his arms, screaming and running in a circle in horror.

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badninja

badninja #1 · Feb 17th, 2017 · 2 · ·

And now we go to Silent Hill. I thought in a previous chapter Max knew that he wasn't tripping anymore? Either way he is not going to be enjoying what Twilight through her negligence of Spike as unleashed.

Clicker

Clicker #2 · Feb 17th, 2017 · 3 · ·

Can't wait for the next year to keep reading.

Mix-up

Mix-up #3 · Feb 17th, 2017 · 2 · ·

great to see an other chapter si soon after the last one.

PinkiePieFox

PinkiePieFox #4 · Feb 18th, 2017 · · ·

Blaze the draconic mage

Blaze the draconic mage #5 · Feb 18th, 2017 · · ·

more pls this is awesome

ssokolow

ssokolow #6 · Feb 18th, 2017 · 6 · ·

"Shush Rainbow Dash, this is the only way to make sure that he isn't doing anything shady. If we're staring at him, he'll only make the effort to not be himself."
"Yeah, but-"
"Twilight, we need to have a serious talk about you doing your work with your magic." Spike cut off Rainbow Dash. Twilight blinked, glancing at Spike with a bewildered look.
"Shh, not now Spike I'm busy." Twilight huffed, wanting to turn back to stare at Max-- but noticed the very specific tome Spike was holding in his claws. "And be careful with that tome! It's--"
"NO! You're ALWAYS busy! And I'm SICK of it!" Spike threw down his book, folding his arms in dismay-- To Twilight's genuine horror, the book he'd managed to throw down in his fit of anger was one of the magical spell tomes that was meant to be held and cared for very carefully. "-OOPS!"
"Ah, pony feathers." The three cursed simultaneously, as the book began to quiver angrily at the mistreatment of itself, the whole library began to quake as the book's rusted chains shattered from the force shooting out the book, and into the library ceiling, causing a thick blue circular magical hole to open as the beam of light held a steady kinetic output, ominously, it began to shift from the blue color to an eerie dark red, causing the whole room to turn shades darker as if the book was stealing all the light.

Seriously, though. Depending on how you look at it, it's either shallow characters or a disconnected mess. Either way, it feels like bad writing. (Spike comes out of nowhere (writing-wise) and throws down a portal-opening book with no warning aside from a basic "Spike is frustrated" foreshadowing in the previous chapter. It's sort of as if you actually wrote "and then they fucked" in a non-satirical story.)

(Or, from another perspective, it could be seen as you just checking off checkboxes for how you think the characters would get you past the "boring stuff" to the "awesome stuff" as quickly as possible when, in truth, it'd go down as well as a "push to win" button in a video game and for much the same reasons.)

Given how poorly this bodes for the story and how the previous chapter also felt rushed, I'm switching to a downvote in anticipation of what I'll see in future chapters. (This kind of stylistic flaw doesn't normally resolve itself readily)

Texus

Texus #7 · Feb 18th, 2017 · · ·

Spike proceeded to flail his arms, screaming and running in a circle in horror.

I ran and I ran but I couldn't get away from him no matter how far I had run.

I nearly thought it was Max's choice and was happy that he was getting back at Twilight. "yes I admit it probably was because of her just taking him with her magic and I guess I would have liked to see him agreeing to be with Twilight.
Yep since a certain story I don't exactly like it if they use their magic on other beings for a longer time, it feels a bit like they would tie them up.
In one really bad story the Human main char was controlled and even transformed by Twilight into an animal against his will.
This was a pony visit the Earth and go to school there story, since Twilight needed an animal for her class she thought she takes the guy.
The guy got angry, Twilight got sad and his childhood friend was mad at the main char for not agreeing to be controlled against his will more or less.
That was a moment where I got angry about stuff like that and even if not every story or situation like that is exactly as bad as in this story, I'm always bein a bit sceptical at first.

I feel like I forgot to say something more important but maybe I remember later if it was important.

Everglue Horace

Everglue Horace #8 · Feb 18th, 2017 · 2 · ·

Twilight really should stop accepting gifts her brother picks up at garage sales.

Seri

Seri #9 · Feb 19th, 2017 · 2 · ·

7956406 More like what the author wrote 'and then Spike does something stupid to cause a problem' results in. I'm not sure if Spike would blow up and damage any book like that, let alone 'Really Evil Magic Vol IV' which Twilight has mixed in with all the non-magical books because of course she does. If this was the Canterlot Library I would have less problems with an evil containing book just happening to be there to just happen to be thrown by Spike who just happens to react that way to something Twilight just happens to say.

Also the 'I'm totally tripping balls right now guys, despite feeling pain/etc and everything to the contrary, isn't this so funny!' is going to get annoying if it gets blatantly shoved in so often/continues much longer.

Scolipede