• Member Since 26th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 24 minutes ago

Alchemystudent


Loves to read and write, I decided to try writing fanfiction after a long hiatus thanks to ponies

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Source

When Twilight takes a trip to Canterlot to see Cadence's ultrasound, she gets the shock of her life. Celestia has chosen a new personal student. The news sends her into a world of unknown fear and worry, forcing questions into her head. Will she be forgotten, has the distance between her and her teacher become too great, and how can she deal with that fear. With the help of her friends, she will learn a special something about mothers.

Art by post scripting

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 18 )

Twilight was too quick to leave, I feel like she would have said some more, then left. A few grammer errors here and there. However, the moral was a good one and the story was not unpleasant to read.

All in all, 7/10

No, never
Twilight smiled brightly as she walked down the stairs of the tower, happily giggiling to herself. Her hooves glances and danced along the steps as she made her way to the room, her bouts of giggles seemed to match her steps as she neared her destination.
There were two reasons why she was so happy today, the first was that she had ust seen Cadence’s first ultrasound, “IT’s an alicorn colt! IT’s so cute, I can’t wait for it to be born.” she smiled brightly to herself. Though being an aunt was a new experience, it was one that she eagerly looked forward to. The next was the fact that Celestia had big news for her, and this caused her to have a big wide grin on her face. Since she had become the princess of friendship and become a princess of the ponies, righting wrongs and venturing to save lives, she hadn’t much time to talk to her former teacher as much as she wanted to.
She stopped at the front of the door as she thought about the growing distance between her teacher and herself. Had becoming a princess really separated them that much, that she didn’t need to see her anymore? This thought caused a small shudder to go through her body and for her to quickly shake her head. She needed her teacher and would always need her in her life, just as Celestia needed her, “Ah, Twilight, good to see you. I am glad you’re here.”

This was a very sweet story!

I agree with Shattered-Rose. Twilight was too quick to jump to conclusions and left then what I'm normally used to seeing Twilight acting.

Perhaps you could have added her being excited for Celestia getting a new student only to have those personal doubts later.

But I like the fact that you use Moondancer and her experience to clear Twilight's doubts though. Nice touch.

I also like that you let Twilight visit a few of her close friends each giving their own back story but all have the common moral Twilight needs to hear.

But the cut scene could have been longer with Twilight having the courage to tell Celestia her doubts which leads to Celestia showing all the rooms she has kept untouched.

Overall it was a good read. Could have been better but for what it is. It's okay. Nice Job

-MixMassBasher

“Really?” asked Sunbeam." Who the hell is Sunbeam?

Yes this needs edited especially since you changed the new filly's name to Sunbeam after calling her Lightning Strike

bacon haired girl

BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE SUNSET SHIMMER EVER! :rainbowlaugh:

I can actually see this happening if Twilight hasn't seen Celestia for awhile. Have a like.:twilightsmile: However, the missing letters to words prevent me from giving a fav.:pinkiesad2:

Sweet story, but please do a bit more proofreading. If it wasn't for the number of likes, I would have left at the very beginning due to the numerous grammatical errors littered throughout.

Aside from that, nice enough story.

I liked this story. It even got me thinking of an idea I thought of long ago.

That was great! Very heartwarming

Hah Final Fantasy references, I approve :moustache:

This story made me cry when I read the part about Twilight's flashback. It reminds me of my teacher who had taught me in elementary school.

I feel this could have been handled better

Momejesty, lol

btw, you called the new student both Lightning Strike and Sunbeam.

“This is Cloud Strife, inventor of the Nimbus Trekking spell. And this is Squall Leonheart, the mage who saved a small town by turning a rampaging river into steam, and that’s-”
...
And that is Celia Harvey, the one who crafted the solar healing spell.

:ajbemused:

Squall Leonheart
You magnificent bastard, you. Great story.

Bloody Brilliant, Mate!!! Great story and moral. You get ten:moustache: out of ten.


P.S. Sorry about the British/Austalian stuff at the beginning. I need to cut back on the swaring, and that was the best way to do it for me!!!

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