• Member Since 16th May, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 minutes ago

PaulAsaran


Technical Writer from the U.S.A.'s Deep South. Writes horsewords and reviews. New reviews posted every other Thursday! Writing Motto: "Go Big or Go Home!"

Comments ( 90 )

I've been waiting for this.

Oh yeah, you know this is gonna be fun. Thanks, Paul!

Well then. First chapter and Discord is already down, and the fate of equestria is Cryssie's hooves. Well done Paul. Well done.

I haven't even looked at the cover image yet! But! BUT! The short description of this story, the one that you see before you click on this on the front page of fimfiction...did I mention that this is in the popular stories section of the homepage yet? No? Oh. It is. Anyways...that totally makes me think of one thing, and one thing only

Though...that's probably not the case...and I'm saddened by that fact...but, if it is, than that is amazing!
After reading the longer short description, I don't think so...man...

Wait, WHAT! We have a horror tag!? And a MYSTERY TAG!!?? When did this happen!?

Should I be afraid to read something like this, since it has the dark, horror, gore, and sex tags? Is this like some kind of splatterclop?

6691830
That makes two of us.

6692071
Discord's one of those characters that throws a wrench into every potential story idea due to the perceived limitlessness of his abilities. So yeah, I threw a wrench right back at him this time. It was the only way to avoid the "where is Discord during all of this?" question that always inevitably pops up.

6692544
Never heard of them until now, although my curiosity has been piqued. But no, not at all related.

6692941
Ooh, two weeks ago? Maybe three. Supposedly there are more tags coming, although when is not known

6693181
Splatterclop implies taking pleasure from death, which I do not do. That being said, many ponies will die and I won't hold any punches in that regard. The first few chapters are likely to be the worst, if only because there are more ponies in a general sense available and I think it's important to let the readers know what they are getting into early on.

I'm not in it for the blood, but that doesn't mean there won't be a lot of it. If you can get past chapter two (due to be released Friday), then you can probably handle the rest of the story.

6693363 I meant no offense, I just get worried whenever I see the gore tag or dark tag, alongside the sex tag. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't like ponies getting frisky with disembowled entrails or something like that.:pinkiesick:

Silent hill may be the main inspiration behind this but I am also getting a strong Event Horizon/ Hellraser vibe.

Looks very promising, I hope you will make that kind of atmosphere where "you can't outrun this because its everywhere", then this would be good, very good

6693363
Aw man! Oh well...glad to see that I sparked a bit of interest in that show for you, though.

6693638
No offense taken. No, there won't be anything like that.

6694074
...all I shall say is "wait for chapter two."

6693363
Well I added horror to all my stories. I'm still debating about mystery and thriller though.

Well, I can say I'm certainly not disappointed. Quite the attention grabbing opening.

Nice.
Few ideas about monster but gonna wait to see how you gonna make it.

Do you plan making those heros meet each other at some point?

6698839
Main character of each chapter? Chrysalis and Coco.

6698944
Ooooh. *slaps himself for missing the obvious*

Some of the characters will meet, it's impossible to push the story forward otherwise. Whether Coco and Chrysalis specifically will meet, I have no idea.

6698974
I have very mixed fellings what you did with Suri.
I mean you killed her in so well played situation but damn, why mixed, because I don't often see Suri that well written where her fast thinking and hardness from being 2faced bitch is used so good.

I'm waiting for more

"Fine Twine".

I see what you did there.:raritywink:

*Starts reading* Oh Spookies? Yes please.
*Get's to the halls and Suri* Okay not that spooky
*Get's to the Tripod Mouth* Oh. Okay never mind.
*Reads rest of the story* Dear Luna WHY PAUL! WHY! :derpyderp1::raritycry::raritycry:
P.S. That was amazing.

so i was wondering what are the monsters in your story spirits made from negative energy? The physical manifestation of ponies negative psychy? the restless dead?

6706142
Exactly what will be explained in some detail later. You'll just have to wait until then, as I'm not keen on providing spoilers.

I say provide some information in the authors notes with a spoiler warning before it. As for the way the worlds acting any one thats played Silent Hill or read a Warhammer novel could tell you space is being distorted baring any dream nonsense, rooms,doors and places are being rearranged like a child building blocks linking one to the other for a limited time only for them to be torn asunder again.The big questions are is time being distorted as well? Is this all of this being controlled by some fel intelligence? Do the changes fallow some sort of law or pattern? Also if your having trouble rapping your head around that watch a movie called Cube 2: Hypercube about average as movies go but i think it got the ideas explained right maybe... haven't watched it in a while truth be told

This story is entrancing, and at the same time very disturbing. I'll go ahead and follow this.

This Fic is very cool, but I don't know the references your using. Where did you get the monsters?

So I take it that Chrysalis will play one of the more major roles? You didn't choose the cover art because it looked cool?

Are you trying to explore every kind of horror and and monstrosity know to Man in Equestia? Don't tell me that Box Discord found in the cavern was the Pandora Box ( just like Pandora, he open it and released the horrors sealed in it)? It's existence can be possible, since the Mlp producers said they used a mix of Greek and other mythologies for the story.

6885821 i'm thinking some uppity alicorn or archmage decided to box all negativity from equestria into a cage. All containers eventually get full though.

OH like the glossary by the way.

Here I was, about to start pestering you on Skype for where the chapter was, and then I realized that this isn't in my library. :facehoof:

The cons of reading on Gdocs, I suppose.

6885821

This Fic is very cool, but I don't know the references your using. Where did you get the monsters?

I'm making the monsters up from scratch as I go. I do draw some inspiration from a few outside sources every now and then, but the majority is coming from my own head. All monsters are based on one of two things. The first thing is a fear, and they are named after the fear upon which they are based. The other thing is a secret, at least until the next chapter reveals it.

6885793
That's the tricky challenge of this story, actually. Chrysalis is set to have a major role in a sense, but she will only get two chapters in the entire story told from her perspective – just like almost everyone else. The goal here is to give no one character any more or less attention than any other, thereby hiding from the reader who is more important. Chrysalis's presence in the cover is giving away the fact that she will play an important role, but other than her? Only I (and my pre-reader) know who plays a big role... and who will survive.

6885845
Glad to hear it. I was thinking about doing two monsters per chapter, unless I run out of monsters for the time. I don't think that's likely, as I aim to create a great many of them.

6885868
Thanks for getting to it on time, btw. I admit, I was growing skeptical when it wasn't ready by the night before. Forgive me my doubts!

6886211
No probe. I would have been done with it well before now, but I got caught up in the awesomeness that is One Punch Man.

Loving this story, I can't wait to read more, but I guess I'll have to.

On the topic of your monster notes; I personally will be skipping these, and saving them for the end of this series. I like the concept of reading up on critters in survival horror games, since a solid bestiary is often a selling point for me. However, I feel that too exact of a description (hunting methods, origin, list of abilities) can be detrimental to the in-the-moment feeling of "I'm scared because I don't understand". The unknown, or even the vaguely known, is much more terrifying than the thing you understand. My personal recommendation (and don't listen to me, do what you want on this) would be to leave all that for a final post after the conclusion of this story, so as not to break the flow.

But that's just me. :derpytongue2: So happy to see another horror fan kicking those Silent Hill feels right in the heart.

P.S. If you have 25 minutes to spare, please do check out this bit on the horror genre as a whole, and what is so often missing in its conception (hehe). I think you will find some parallels between your opinions/style and his.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPBmbs-JPhHc1Dpp40dQhBSJt21d5e1DZ

Cheers!

6892747
It is a true shame that of my three ongoing series, The Silence is set to be the slowest to update (especially considering how long I intend for it to be!). The plan was to update certain stories faster than others, and when one of those faster stories finishes move the slower stories into the new speed. The problem is that, for the first time in two years, I am actually behind on my schedule... by a solid month, no less.

Hmm... how about with the next chapter I create a new "Monster Glossary" chapter that is separate from the story, which I update with every new chapter? That way I won't have to create the whole thing at the end, those who want to know can find out and those who don't won't even run the risk of skimming them in the author's notes.

I'll be sure to watch that video soon!

cool thing with the Monster Glossary. i can see some of the influences on Dash's design the porcelain mask representing the false face she shows everyone, the bondages her own internal wounds? Like Coco her transformation was torturous so im bating thats why she can never fly again. Her grasping tentacle im weakly guessing have somthing to do with her own needy desires? Though i have nothing on what those blade like wings represent if anything.

7022023
I prefer to limit such explanations to the Monster Glossary to minimize spoilers here in the comments. I know that's probably a lost cause, but that's me. Even so, I'm glad you approve!

I just can't wait to see how this story unfolds! It's so very interesting! This chapter, however, mostly seemed like fluff if that isn't being too harsh. The majority of it was simply describing her encounters in the dreamscape and what she saw... There is little in the way of information not already given to us, and while it is interesting, I don't feel like it contributed to the story in a truly meaningful way.

7211556
I know it might seem that way, but I actually seeded a few things into this chapter that either allude to things coming or apply building blocks for things I want to do later. Also, since a lot of things aren't clear, it seemed important to me to use Luna's 'expert' opinion to help remove a few incorrect theories, because I know people are going to have them. Lastly, it gave me a chance to show the world outside The Veil and The Pale, revealing that things are still happening outside. Last but not least, it gives us a small window into the relationship of Celestia and Luna in this verse, which may prove an important factor down the line (although if I'm wholly honest, I haven't planned that far ahead).

Some of these things might feel unimportant, but they felt important to me.

Also, given the intended size of this story, it's an inevitability that there are going to be some 'filler' chapters out there.

Creepy factor 10! :rainbowderp: Great job! :)

I really hope you're enjoying being back on schedule more than I am, because man is this intense!

Yep, what Icanhazmochi said.
What is "the Maw"? Sounds scary as hell. You wrote of a ring tainted by a void of darkness. This story, in my opinion, is awesome because it's very intense and contain a good amount of inexplicable horror. There are new mysteries in this chapter, What is the Maw? and most importantly : Where is Twilight Sparkle and her friends now? In the preview chapter seems that Apple bloom have meet a violent end, Does other character have meet the same fate?

These aren't easy days for the ponies.

It seems that Rarity has met a terrible fate. I wonder if the design of her name monster was in any way Inspired by this?

Also I Understand that this story was inspired by Silent Hill but I can't help but to think of Fatal Frame 2. The Maw has a lot in common with the * and All God's Village just smak's of the veil.

Flash’s shaking only intensified, but he forced the words from his lips. “I… I don’t know, but I think it’s alive. When I saw it, I swear something looked back. There’s evil within that darkness, an evil that goes beyond our comprehension. I could just feel its power oozing over me, like I was awash in the bodily oils of a demon from an entirely different plane of existence.”

"The gate to hell is called the *.
Gaze not upon the *.
Eyes that glimpse the * will be blinded by the *.
Speak not of the *.
The mouth which utters * will be made speechless by the *.
Listen not to the *.
Those who heed the * are turned heartless by the *."

7317129
As a matter of fact, yes, I did get the idea from that image. Well done, good sir.

Holy shite, someone else out there has played Fatal Frame 2. I didn't even have to read your comment to know what you were talking about. But to your point, no, I came up with the Maw entirely on my own and that similarity is a pleasant coincidence.

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