I need only say this.

Fuck you for making me stay up to 1:30am reading this glorious, sexy, bonerrific clop fic when I have work at 7am.

Now I have to survive an eight hour shift at work with about five hours of sleep, if I'm lucky.

I curse you, stupid sexy Enigmatic Otaku and your equally stupid sexy horse words!

6884249

1:30 am?! I finished and published it at 3am! And I'm not sleeping until the next day in order to get my sleeping schedule back in order!

It's here.

Best title for Dusk ever.

Will there be a sequel?

That ending was something else, was not expecting it at all.

Also, Flashlight had to get his pelvis pieced back together, holy damn Luna you scary.

6884304
If someone commissions me for it.

I wonder if Zecora knew, the result of mares and that brew.
For it's power can't be denied, giving five mares foals inside.
Now with five more elements, Dusk needs a job worth lots of bits.
A Prince he must become right away, before the quintuple birthday!
And Luna, I rightly surmise, would be welcome without a disguise.

(Where's a :zecorasmug: emoticon when you need one?)

Fantastic utterly brilliant. Unexpected but a likely outcome. Don't worry Luna you'll get a chance yet. Not surprised about the pregnancies. They didn't use any contraceptives and used a magical elixir to empower Dusk. Still looking forward to what happens next, if you deign to write one. Not expecting one but it would be awesome to see this continue. All hail Dusk Shine, the prince of friendship with benefits.

lol i had a feeling that would happen

Read the whole thing about 5 times tonight.
Do I have a life?
Probably.
Did I just waste 5 hours of my life?
Probably not.
A great read, and I rather do like the idea of a sequel with Luna involved...'cause she's the pony of the moon, right? :D

6884330

How much we talking? Luna's gotta get a happy ending too.

I was hoping it would end this way. I was not disappoint.

Has anybody but me noticed how the ponies in the cover art look like animatronics? AJ and Pinkie especially?

Man, the sex scene with each of the girls was hot and I really laughed when Luna placed Flashlight so hard that he had to fake his death and get hip reconstruction surgery. Also, the ending with Dusk informing Celestia about impregnating his friends, Spike getting his heart broken, Luna getting excited at the possibility of Dusk's stamina/endurance and Celestia creating a title for Dusk was hilarious. Thanks for the amazing story.

That fiction was like Disney Land :
I was so excited about finally having it,
Nearing Death by overdose of joy while into it,
And sad when it comes to an end.

"Did somepony here order a piisah? Fret not if you happen to lack the adequate amount of bits to pay for it, as, well, I'm sure there's an alternate form of payment we can--"

You, sir, owe me one new desk. I also now need to get some Aleve to get rid of this headache after hitting my head on the desk.

6884251 I live in New Zealand

"You're not, th-this is my decision," Fluttershy answered with a barely noticeable shake of her head, putting Rarity's fear somewhat to rest. After shutting her eyes for a brief second, Fluttershy took a small breath before continuing, willing herself to look everypony in the eye as she spoke. "I'm nervous and...and scared silly thinking how much losing my vir...vir...my you know might hurt, but, if I'm ever going to go through with it, what better time and place is there than here and now with the ponies I trust most?"

She's been taking baby steps... now it's time for grown up ones.

Strange, he thought, lapping up her nectar in strong, broad stokes. She tastes...exactly like bubblegum... Huh...this'll require further research later...

Well, as long as he tries to understand why it is and not how it couldn't, then that's all fine and dandy.

"Wearing my own wing-ding-dingaling? Yup!" she answered with gusto. "Doubt you can see it from there, but it's the same one from the barn house!"

Confound these ponies, they drive me to smirk at their word choice!
... Every single word from this masterpiece... just, pure gold. Absolute, amazingness in every single meaning of the word.

Amazing story, only one small critique.

Sex should not hurt the first time. I repeat sex should not hurt the first time. Honestly sex should never hurt unless you are into that kind of thing, and it should NEVER cause a wound that bleeds. With as much prep work as Dusk did and as turned on as Fluttershy was she should not have felt anything but pleasure. The myth that the hymen is a barrier is horrifically over used and shows a lack of general knowledge of anatomy. If it was a barrier then menstrual cycles would not be able to get through. The truth is Women who are VERY sexually active still have their hymen.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders foalsitters YAAAAAAAY!"

And I can totally see Sunset failing to get the crown in this universe because she got distracted

6884927

Actually, like a lot of things pertaining to sex and anatomy, it depends. Each woman's hymen is different. As you say, there are women that will have a healthy sex life for all of their days and die with an intact hymen because maybe theirs is particularly crescent shaped and elastic. There are also women born with a completely circular hymen that's rigid that will be torn at some point (by anything from sex to motocross) resulting in some pain and possibly bleeding depending on the tear.

What isn't realistic is the sheer amount and length of pain Flutters is in. Something that should hurt something fierce for a few seconds is turned, here, into a long torturous affair of minutes. Huge boner-killer for me personally.

Another nit-pick, although I do like a "surprise, we're pregnant" scene, one week is not long enough for them to know they're pregnant. Unless somepony was specifically worried (even though they had no reason to be to their knowledge) and went and got some kind of magic exam that can tell pretty much right after conception.

Okay enough about personal opinions... well this next thing is still opinion but it has a lot more objectivity to it. The only thing I felt was not so good overall about the fic was the repetitive climax scenes. Sex with the girls was all very well done, individual to the mare in question and definitely interesting. But every single time climax approached it went Dusk comes inside them -> mare orgasms. There are lots of ways to differentiate orgasms, even when finishing at the same time, and I think some could have been used here to add variety.

AAAALL of that said, I really liked this story, it was overall very sexy and very funny. Thanks for writing it!

6884927
Yes I know that the hymen being an infallible barrier is a myth but it is still a barrier. Gentle as you try, depending on your size and the size and elasticity of the woman's hymen more often than not penetration can and will cause the Hyman to tear. It is possible to not tear it but that relies more on the elasticity and shape than how much tongue action you use to prepare it.

Bruh...

pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw10939-1403829506268.png

Nothng quite like an orgie to bond with your best freinds.

Just kidding I haven't read it yet.

I enjoyed it. You managed to tailor each moment to each mare. I also found the simultaneous climaxes to be off putting. Now if you made one of the girls a squirter, another one with an easy multi climax, one with a simultaneous bit perhaps one who didnt climax, but was so worn out she went down anyway...aj might be good for that.

*snorts* Amateur; do you or do you not live in a world of magic? Have your pelvis magically reinforced and quit yer bitchin'.

Also, I really liked the Fluttershy scene.

Am I the only one that kind of wants a sequel where Dusk is helplessly overwhelmed trying to raise five foals? Or even a chapter where his mother finds out, oh gods...this ending was pure glory.

EDIT: I may or may not have to commission something along those lines...what's your going rate Enigmatic?

Before I read the new chapter, I need to say this: You need to change the new chapter's title. "Unforgetful" isn't a word. I think you mean "unforgettable".

6886002
Does that satisfy your grammar boner?

6886006 Yes.

I don't know who to feel more sorry for, Dusk or Flashlight. Either way, one got lucky...ish? But they both got broken, in their own way.

Enjoy that friendship, Prince Daddy Dusk. Enjoy it.

I feel so bad for flashlight.
And now we need to come up with five OCs for the faols

Dusk Shine the Prince of Freindship with benefits

TROLLESTIA APPROVED!

Made my day.

Had me in stiches I was laughing so hard.

My main issue was how much pain Fluttershy was in. Huge boner killer. Hymens are a thing, but that's one of those thing l feel should be left out of written porn. I usually love things being accurate as possible, but this I can do without. This is only my opinion on the matter, other people obviously get off on other people's suffering, so go ahead.

That was so hot that I can't even.

And Fluttershy just proved the well known saying - careful what you wish for as you might just get it.

Well, the girls didn't overlook only who will go first in their planning, they also overlooked another obvious detail - the potion was for increasing not only endurance, but also virility and fertility.
I think they should have asked Zecora about that as well, to make sure they won't each add a little something to their families at a later date thanks to that

This story also made me stay up until almost 2 AM. I regret nothing!

Also I can imagine the amusing reactions of Dusks family when they find out that it was the younger sibling who expands the family first. And five times as much as they have expected as well

6886058
Eh ill feel more sorry for dusk only because im not a fan of todlers. New borns are honestly easier to deal with cry at all hours of the night yes but they dont find a hundred different ways to make life difficult for you and dusk is going to have at least five of those monsters.

Also is it weird i kinda wanna see the reverse happen too? Maybe not as a clop fic a twilight sparkle in a gender swapped equestria and whos friends are all stallions. Meh might be fun.

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Nah they look more disneyish or more animal looking to me anyway. Like their muzzles are more defined and mane more... hairy? Natural looking? You know more split ends.

That ending was totally unexpected. Now Dusk is a father.
The girls should have done further research beforr buying that potion

Holy smokes, Dusk. You're in for a wild ride, that's for sure.

Any chance of a bonus chapter a about Rainbow getting the girls together before the sleepover to tell them about the events of last story, them deciding to seduce Dusk, and them getting the potion from Zecora, or a chapter/story of the girls realizing they're collectively pregnant, and telling Dusk? That would be incredible. Or, what about a sequel with Luna?

I might be willing to pay, but I'm not sure my parents, who are partially funding my attending college, would approve.

Also, I think that a sequel has a ton of potential as a full fic (not just an elaborate clopfic, though sex not discouraged) detailing Dusk's life as the father of five new foals, his evolving relationships with the girls, and Celestia and Luna hijinx. If you weren't up for it, I wonder if anyone else would be willing to take over.

6885092
One of them might have talked to Zecora about the sleepover (perhaps thanking her for how well the brew worked), whereupon Zecora mentioned the brew's side effect. That would probably get them to get themselves tested pretty fast.

/sizzle

Well, that was so hot I think my computer almost started smoking. Not often I see clop this good.

I've already commented on what I think of this story but, given how good it was and how many people missed it, I have to point out the excellent foreshadowing.

The whole thing with all the girls getting pregnant was foreshadowed with the end of Fluttershy's sex scene. Even if you missed it, it coming out of left field was probably just as entertaining.

Oh Dusky, it's a good thing you'll be getting a royal stipend soon.

Well. That may throw a wrench into their "let's stay friends, but with sex" plan.

6887292 Ok. So just me then?

Great story. I'm not impressed you felt the need to have a rape scene in there (Luna with the guard) but interesting story and well written.

6888704
well i can't speak for everyone but meh.. its art open to interpretation.

tse1.mm.bing.net/th?&id=OIP.Ma579b5e45df936d2781b17e78a28182fo0&w=300&h=225&c=0&pid=1.9&rs=0&p=0

/10 would clop again

I can only wonder how Dusk will handle his future with at least 5 foals, from 5 different mothers.

Great story, though the Luna side story feels very tacked on and uneeded.

I eagerly await the sequel, where Zecora decides she wants a dose of Dusk for herself.