- Member Since 26th Apr, 2023
- offline last seen 3 hours ago
Golden-Gale
YO! Read my stories broskies! I gotz the good stuffz, ye! :)
Golden-Gale
Joined 26th Apr, 2023 ·
Offline
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Buckedlobster82 · 99k words · 63 10 · 1.1k views
- GamePlayer64 · 53k words · 65 9 · 2.8k views
- Chaotic_Ferret · 5k words · 41 5 · 1.1k views
- Postwarmonkey50 · 109k words · 24 10 · 1.1k views
- Flip_The_Table · 39k words · 13 4 · 491 views
- John Lock · 1.9k words · 8 9 · 1.1k views
- Laze · 12k words · 33 1 · 849 views
Featured In1
Stats
Page generated in 0.053 seconds
Total duration
710 users online
704,828 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Is there any reason why you have this in the description? Short description is even worse honestly, since it reads like an Author's Note.
Guess Ill change it then
Better?
Im not a professional, so don't expect a masterpiece.
Loved it gg lad
Interesting, can’t wait to see what trials he’ll have to face.
Why do you have quotation marks in your story descriptions?
Can I be involved in your story? Mainly to help you. I'm basically bored and need something to do on this fanfic site at night.
11753467
Uh, sure, Im not sure what you mean by being involved but Ill accept any help I can get.
11753475
Thank you.
But to be clear, I like to know more about what your guy here is doing. Does it involve rising to power, or does it involve helping civilization reach new heights?
I agree with Elric of Melnipony. Why do you have quotation marks in your story descriptions?
11753498
is there a reason to why I can't? I mean, it is my story.
11753498
If you want me to get rid of them then I can, I don't see why not.
Lovely chapter. I would be careful with the colors though, it makes it a bit hard to read in dark mode with that blue.
Another banger chaptor
Not bad, but you could certainly use an editor. You have a bit of an issue with repeating yourself. For example
So... the weird feeling felt weird
. Redundant redundancies are redundantly redundant.
That said, kudos on actually addressing infant brain development. It's always irritated me that stories like this have the protag being just as intelegent and cognizant as an infant as they were as an adult. I'm especially glad that, even with the boosted development you still left him with an immature mind that can only handle so much at once. It's refreshing.
11753885
I guess Ill figure that out somehow, the whole me 'repeating' things bit. I'm trying to correct as much as I can BUT its a hassle. I went over each chapter at least close to a dozen times each sooooo....I fixed a LOT, I mean....I hope I didn't repeat myself to much BUT I don't exactly know how to do much besides what I've learned and what I've seen
11753764
Thanks
11754055
Youre welcome
11754051
That's fine. It's not a major problem, but do try to keep an eye out for it. As it stands, it isn't too intrusive, more like a writing quirk. The story itself is interesting enough to overlook. Like I said, not many people think about how underdeveloped an infant's brain is and how it would affect a reincarnated mind, so I'm looking forward to what else you might do.
11754426
Im trying to make sure its lore accurate as best as I can while also not trying to be repetitive. I mean it IS an alternative universe SOOOoooo there can be some differences, and yes I do agree with you on the infant part. Im trying to make it to where he holds his adult mentality but still has to learn everything again, I mean, he'll understand the basic stuff like motor functions such as moving his limbs and finger and such, just not TOO overly insane to the point as if he were a genius that could get everything in one go. I mean, the character does have a certain perk I gave him...but that'll be more useful in the future parts of the story
I'm trying to ask without coming off as rude, but what even are these and where did you learn it? I've never seen anyone do this, and to be honest, it's really distracting. There's no reason for these, as the 'said tag' already does what these do in a more natural way.
Do you see what I mean about repeating yourself? Again, it's not too bad, and can just be seen as a quirk of your writing, but I do recommend you try to limit it.
Also, be careful with the dungeon idea. I've seen many a gamer fic fall apart because the dungeon is such a broken mechanic if not limited. I would recommend having a level cap with it, only letting him advance to an intermediate level before no longer providing exp.
Also, also, the dashes at the begining of paragraphs are not needed.
Finally, once again, it's wonderful to see how believable his rebirth is. His mind may be an adult but his brain and body are not. It's easy to see why ANI is absolutely required, especially in this early stage of his development. She can regulate how much of his adult mind is present to fit his need and development.
11755096
Got it, Ill remove those then
11755096
I was also planning on removing the transition things anyways, I was going to do a full re-check on most of the chapters to see if anything needed fixing or uh "organizing"
Curious how this will effect him as a baby in the real world or if you just plan to skip to his young adulthood.
11755354
Im going to skip some years but not like a full on transition to adulthood, that's just an opportunity of good chapters that I would be throwing away
I really love how the AI companion actually has a personality beyond the cliché of being cold and emotionless, yet somehow snarky. Seriously, every single other AI companion in every other fic is the exact same.
11755918
Mhm, I noticed that too. Thought I would change that
Good chap keep up the good work
Thanks for the update!
Glad I found this! Into my library you go!
Thanks for the update!
Thanks for the banger chap
Good to see it's more on the positive side of the spectrum when it comes to being likable! Keep liking the story so more people can view it! I enjoy the fact people are capable of finding my story to read! :)
Thanks for the update!
So... when can we expect a time skip?
11817647
Not for a while, I'm not planning on making this story short.
I hope you come back to the story
Hmmm.....
Well....guess I can get back to it...hehehehehehehehe
Hmm, intriguing chapter. Shame is so short but look forward to the longer chapters!
11856066
Mhm, I plan on making the 10th chapter at least 5k words....at least....maybe more, idk
This chapter in a nutshell;
Imperial: Imma do stuff!
ANI: K
The end.
11856081
Hehehe, I know right?
Thanks for the update!
11856171
Ye welcome
Welcome back my man, can't wait for more chapters!
Thanks for the update!
How old he will be when he meet mane6?