- Member Since 6th Aug, 2015
- offline last seen Yesterday
Sunatta
I never thought of myself as a sailor, but now ships are all I sea. (That pun was bad, but I don't feel bad.) Stories coming soon
Sunatta
Joined 6th Aug, 2015 ·
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I like the concept, though the way it is presented could use a bit of tidying up. Maybe have someone look it over sometime before reading it? Alternatively, there is a lovely little program called "Grammarly". It's free and provides basic grammar fixes, most of which a word processor like Microsoft Word and the like won't catch. If you have Google Chrome you can download it straight into an app for easy use. Hope it helps! Now, take my upvotes.
Go on...
6682888 thank you
6682954 hoping to get the next chapter out sometime later this week.
Can't wait for the next chapie!
Poor Dagi bebe. I do hope Ari and Nata have a change of heart and be together back with Dagi. I love the Dazzlings together.
Anyho, good work! keep it up! :)
6686724 Trust me I've got big plans for those two. and thank you
6686800
You have all my trust! I really enjoyed your story. Can't wait. :)
You are very welcome!
I'ma beat Mr. Pirate to this one. Have a track and an upvote.
godlikeproductions.com/sm/custom/n/r/c2b52d1636.jpg
ALL the SunDagio. Muh battleship.
As a bit of critique, the wording in the first paragraph came off a bit rough (also misspelled Dagi's name :), but it did ease into a nice flow as the story went on. I'd also recommend a divider of some sort between scene changes (after the 2nd paragraph here, for example). I had to step back and scratch my head for a second before I realized you jumped back an hour or so with the shift to Sunset's perspective.
If you do these in a google doc before posting them, I could offer a second glance ahead of time, if that's something you're interested in .
6695146 thank you, and love your stories by the way.
I wasn't writing in Gdoc, but I like the sound of your offer so I might start.
The council of SunDazzling watches you. Seriously though I like what I see, please continue
In another fic, Sunset, before coming into human world, brought with her few gems and some money, and it happened that gold and gems worthed much more in human world.
That is my guess what is happening here.
6734490 Your really close.
6727174 https://i.ytimg.com/vi/KNJ1B_2b17s/maxresdefault.jpg
Uh-oh I've been spotted.
his fanfic is amazing!!!
please, the next part, please
6737624 Thank you
I'll try not to keep you waiting too long on the next chapter.
6737650 thanks friend
Gonna need you to continue this gem among gems. I likes what I'm reading :)
6774520 thank you very much.
New chapter should be dropping tonight.
There are a few places still to remove the line breaks between the dialog and its tags. For example:
to:
Story-wise, looking forward to seeing where things go from here.
6776997 Alright, I think I got them all.
very good chapter
Thanks for uploading the next part
I can not wait for the next
6784156 Holidays are over now, so updates should be more frequent.
This is relevant to my interests.
I moustache you to continue.
6784672 Ooh a classic, and in mint condition no less.
Hmmm very interesting... Have an upvote and tracking.
6787013 Thank you,
I'm glad you like it(I can do better than that.)It fills my heart with...(Nope)It means the world...(apparently I can't)I'm glad you like it
6787168 Alright, the new chapter is just about finished, and should be up by Sunday.
The revision process is taking longer than I initially projected.
Sorry for the delay but it will be another few days before the new chapter.
Sundagio is starting to grow on me, so it's nice to see more nice work out there!
Not quite enough material and a few too many mechanical issues in the first two chapters for me to give it a like just yet, but it seems like you've got a handle on it. Good luck, I want to see more!
6832930 It is a wonderful ship, and thank you.
Yeah, I plan to go back through and hammer them out a bit once I get my schedule stable. Chapter 2 is a mess.
38.media.tumblr.com/c26b20d3523d58572c00a59fabfc6650/tumblr_mtzmeqC16Z1qcga5ro1_500.gif
6845972 Lol, thank you.
http://img05.deviantart.net/f402/i/2014/292/8/1/sending_virtual_hugs_time__3_by_chibidee_nya-d83ehao.png
I loved
Thanks for writing the next chapter
6846409 I may be late (actually I'll most likely be late, but that's beside the point), but I will always update.
Amazing job on the sex, friendo. You definitely know what you are doing!
6846502 Thanks, glad you liked it. Especially since there is a lot more of it to cum.
(Did I really just make that pun.) I should probably be more descriptive with the sensations though. Something for me to try out next time I suppose.
Anyway good to hear from you Pan.
6846469 don't worry
6846522 You're right, people like me for the pun loving perv that I am.
6846518
If you need help with descriptions, I can certainly help, Natta. Plus, I usually have my editor on site with me to help. I usually write my stories with her in call to read them over. Oh, and don't worry about the puns. If you don't have fun with your work, things can get pretty boring, y'know?
6846569 It's more a matter of my writing style, I like to hand you a canvas with a sketch on it and let you do the painting. I do plan on being more descriptive next time around though (You know get out of my comfort zone and all that). But if you want to help, team Natta is always recruiting.
6846585
Well, I plan to get an English major, so I can use the experience. If you need help, I'd be happy to. But I won't always be on. Strict house.
Wow, I wasn't expecting a shout-out. Thanks Sunatta
I love this story, and everything that happens in it
6847302 Your welcome.
And thank you.
For what it's worth, it looks like the main (second) round of edits didn't make into the copy here. That was the pass where I made most of the suggested proofreading fixes. :) It was kind of late last night west coast though.
6848536 I'll repost the edited version when I get home.
6846546 yes
6848536 Alright, version 2.0 is up.
I just started reading and already you've hooked me into continuing to read. Well done, very well done. I hope to see where this goes.
6854927 Always brightens my day to know someone enjoys what I'm putting out.
And don't worry this will get finished.
6855034 I second what 6854927 said