It really is quite troublesome sometimes...
Celestia awoke; the chill present in the night air was thick. Just another one of those nights, she supposed, maybe a light snack would serve her well. Up in the sky the moon made its usual course due west... A quick glance at a nearby clock showed that it was not yet midnight.
With minimal effort Celestia moved, her earlier drowsiness all but gone, I should probably get something to eat, maybe then I can get back to sleep. She mused. A quick peek out of her door revealed that the halls were mostly empty, the various guards were probably patrolling.
Perhaps I should check on Luna? She thought, after all it was well within the middle of Luna’s "shift", as some put it. It had been quite a while since both had talked at such an hour. Perhaps she could convince her to leave her post for a bit, maybe talk over a midnight snack.
A quiet stroll to Luna’s wing of the castle was just what she needed, though perhaps that snack couldn't have waited any longer. No matter, she would address that particular concern once she checked up on her sister.
“Luna, are you there?” A creak on the door and Celestia took a peek inside. The room was quiet, and no blue alicorn was in sight.
Perhaps she was looking around? Canterlot had only been an outpost long ago, only useful in the fact that it served as a perfect vantage point in the old days.
Granted, she still missed her old place. It and by extension the city of Everfree had been abandoned a few centuries into her sister's banishment. Seeing the once seldom manned outpost as the kingdom's capital must have been quite a shock to her.
“Always one to explore, aren't you Luna?” And with a flash of light, Celestia left.
Where was she? Celestia asked to nopony in particular. She stood in her throne room; she had already checked the treasury, the observatory and the palace library. Yet not one trace of her sister was to be found.
It had been an hour, and she felt a tad bit peckish, though she put off looking for a snack, more concerned as to where her sister could possibly have been.
….
Luna snuck throughout the castle, though she felt quite guilty for leading her sister through a futile chase, she had no other choice, the doors had been open to her, and this was her chance to find what she was looking for without anypony interfering,
The Ministry of Records; Luna noted, proved quite difficult to get into unnoticed. It wasn’t that pulling rank wouldn’t have helped, but at this point she was well aware that any concerns she or her sister would have put through would have been of the highest importance and therefore highly scrutinized.
And although she was all for getting the matter done right away, she’d rather this matter remain private.
“Luna, is that you?”
Ah, there went that plan. Turning around she found herself face to face with Celestia. She gave a rather nervous laugh.
“Oh, it’s you sister, what are you doing up so late?”
Celestia stood, bags under her eyes, alright, maybe she had been staying up late, though she was hungry, and it was clear that she wouldn’t get any rest until that particular issue was dealt with.
“Looking for you actually, I was hoping to get a midnight snack, maybe even have a little conversation with you in the meanwhile. It just so happened that you weren’t in your room.”
“I was-”
“Look, if you wanted to get into the Ministry of Records alone, then you could have just told me so.”
“The door was open sister; I saw a chance to do so.”
….
The Ministry of Records; for all its importance, still had a long way to go when it came to organizing the older stores of information, one would think that it was where all the bureaucratic backlog was shelved when none were able to deal with the issue.
“This needs to be dealt with.”
“Agreed.”
The sisters paced through the Hall, noting the sorry state some of the older stores were in, though the preservation magic would hold fast as it always had, the sorry state of organization began to show, at least for the information that was centuries past recording.
“And here we are. The Genealogy records...” Celestia moved to a grand door, and with a soft hum, it opened.
The room before them seemed to stretch into eternity, a masterpiece of construction and magic, It had been decided that with the growing population that all the records would have to be automatically updated via magic. Though there was a flaw in the system, namely the fact that there was little room for a constantly expanding library of birth records and family trees.
The sub-dimension that was the room amazed even the Princesses; Celestia had tried to figure out how it was done, even with most of the current day’s Archmages, none could replicate the construction of this room. Even her faithful student was no closer to figuring out how it worked.
“I had all the old records transferred here, after the old city was abandoned.”
“A wise decision.” Luna replied, she remembered the sorry state of their old castle.
“Just what are you looking for Luna?”
Each door was full of files, though the one clearly marked with Luna’s cutie mark was easy enough to find.
Celestia stared, the room was filled with scrolls, some of which looked recent, probably more backlog, she made a mental note to have this place organized and re-sorted sometime in the future.
“I’m sure that most of these don’t even belong here…” Celestia whispered, noting that several shelves were brimming with haphazardly placed scrolls.
“Well, best we get started looking then.” Luna muttered, moving to the closest pile of scrolls; which at a cursory glance, seemed to stretch up into the ceiling.
Celestia’s eyes narrowed. “You don’t seem to be keen on answering my question…”
Luna continued searching through the pile, silent.
“Have you ever taken note of just how much our subjects attribute you to the sun?”
“I’m sure that's all fine Luna, but I was hoping that you’d ans-”
“I had a fascinating time in the Library; they have a whole section devoted to things that were supposedly invented by you.”
“That’s all well and good, but as I was sayi-”
“Let’s see, they say you invented Sunglasses so that others may look upon the glory of your sun without getting blinded.” said Luna as she dug through the large pile.
“I’m sure your ex-”
“You apparently invented the Sundial, since you tired of having to tell ponies what time of day it was. And by extension that would also mean that you invented the system of timekeeping.” Luna deadpanned.
“They’re just-”
“Never mind the fact that it would be obvious as to what time of day it was even back in those times.” Luna continued.
“A very interesting topic, I’m sur-”
“Then there are those folk tales that have sprung up, did you know that sunflowers apparently came from one of your fallen baby teeth being used as a seed?” Luna turned to her sister, eyebrows raised in mock-curiosity.
“Now that’s just too silly.”
“And you never bothered to correct these minor issues?” Luna asked.
“Luna, we rule a Principality that’s been mislabeled as a Kingdom,”
“True.”
“Now enough of that, what have you been looking for? As a matter of fact, what has gotten into you?”
Luna sat, levitating a particular scroll, it was closed with one of her older seals, that of a crescent moon surrounded by stars.
With a hum, the seal broke, the pulse of magic spread through the room, knocking most of the mountain of scrolls down, and upsetting quite a large amount of dust that had settled.
The scroll lay open; on it a familiar name was emblazoned on the parchment. Celestia’s eyes widened. With a yellow glow, the scroll was off Luna’s grip.
“Tia! Give that back!” Luna cried.
“It’s a birth Certificate.” Celestia said.
“Yes, I don’t see how-”
“For one of the most famous or infamous ponies either of us had the chance of meeting.”
“I see that Tia, now if you could.”
“What, pray tell, would lead you to searching for the birth certificate of your former captain of the Night Guard?”
“Erm, it’s-”
“You of all ponies should know how many mares he bedded.”
“That topic is neither here nor there Celestia.”
“So is the context of this whole situation, why were you looking for his birth certificate? Did he manage to bed you too?”
“WHAT? That's- I can’t- I WOULDN”T EVEN- SISTER HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT?!” Luna screeched.
Celestia remained unfazed, though the room around them lay in an even greater state of disrepair; she silently thanked the old Archmages for the structural wards present, lest the ceiling collapse onto them.
“So if he didn’t charm you like he did so many others, then why all the trouble?”
Luna sighed, re-sealing the scroll, and then tucking it in under her wing.
“He was my son.”
…
“Do you want to talk about it?” Celestia asked, at last she had finally gotten to the palace kitchens, a little bit of searching led her to some scones that she ordered to be put aside the previous day.
“There isn't really much to talk about. I made my choice, and soon enough Evening Star was born.”
Celestia nodded, taking a sip of her tea she stared at her sister, who had been staring at the certificate for quite some time.
“How were you even able to hide this for a year? I swear I had spies everywhere, especially with the war.”
“Remember the year I left, for the peace talks?” Luna muttered as she looked to a nearby window.
Ah, yes the negotiations, she had been leery of accepting the terms, though she had decided that sending Luna was an appropriate way to show force. Though knowing that some monks volunteered their monastery as the neutral ground, Celestia was sure that there was no need for any more hostile action.
“Of course I do, if I remember correctly, I sent an appropriate guard as well as some spies to report back to me.” Celestia's mind went back to those days, she was sure that those were the best she could've sent.
“You did?, The monks didn’t seem to notice.”
“They were good at being undetected, though that does not explain why they weren’t able to detect your pregnancy.”
“The temple priestesses knew a thing or two about hiding runaway daughters.”
“I see...”
The silence returned afterwards, as neither was sure as to how to continue the subject. Celestia had settled for staring at her tea, which had gone cold, a quick heat spell later, and the room as well as the tea was nice and warm.
“Why did you hide him from me?”
Luna stood silent, her face in deep thought, the fact being that her discretion and subterfuge had paid off, Evening Star had never raised any suspicion and laid low for the most part, something she was thankful for.
“I didn’t want him to end up like yours.”
Celestia stilled, her own child had been quite a controversial subject to speak of for both of them. Little Solara had been promised to one of Princess Platinum’s bloodline, as she was loathe to admit it, securing an alliance during the Unification wars was something far more important at the time.
“Granted, I approved of her beau, but the matter remained, I saw that same fate for him the moment he was born, and I didn’t like it.”
Celestia remained silent; things had gotten awkward once more, though the silence didn’t carry as much weight as it had previously.
“He wasn’t with you that night, the night you turned.”
Luna sighed; perhaps the memories were flowing back? From Celestia's perspective, Luna seemed to be deep in her memories, no doubt thinking of that moment.
“I asked him to join me; he did before, as have his soldiers. I explained my plans, my vision, everything I had to give him should I have succeeded, He didn’t join me, and his last words to me were that I wasn’t the mother that raised him.”
It had started to get brighter Celestia realized; they had been sitting in the kitchen for far longer than expected.
“Perhaps he was right, no matter how many times he tried to convince me that things would get better, and that he would be by my side, I would ignore him, I’d even reasoned at some point, though I have forgotten most of what I had said. By then he must have reasoned that I was beyond talking to.”
“And then?” Celestia asked, brow raised.
“Then I went off to face you, and the rest was history.”
“Luna…”
“I am proud of him in that sense; he knew when it wasn’t right to follow me, maybe even saving himself in the process.”
“He was a fine soldier.” Celestia said.
“That he was Tia.”
The sun was peeking over the horizon now, with a mighty burst of magic Celestia willed the sun to rise, and with that the landscape was bathed in the morning.
“I’d always wondered why you didn’t end up looking like you were on fire, what with all that magical energy.”
Celestia smiled; at least she had gotten her sister's mind of the memories. Both sat contentedly. Granted, she hadn’t slept for hours at this point, not that it mattered; the Sun’s presence was enough to bring her to an appropriate state of wakefulness.
“What happened to him after I was banished?”
Celestia froze; therein lay the crux of the matter, or at least she saw it as such, Evening Star had been a model captain, though his actions tended to be more forward during his mother's sojourn.
“He left the Night Guard; there wasn’t much need for it after that. I guess part of it had something to do with your state at the time. His actions for the next few decades tended to be- I think the best term would be scandalous.”
“I know. He had quite the reputation, even during the war. Creator knows how many times I’d received missives from angry and overprotective parents. “
“And the songs Luna, never forget the songs.”
“I was actually around for when his cohort first sang those.” Luna recalled, stifling a giggle. “I was infuriated at first, of course, but over time, one would get used to such things.”
Celestia groaned. Those songs were the bane of her, some of them even survived to the present day, much to her chagrin. She always heard them echoing out of the Castle barracks. Often, the songs were accompanied with raucous laughter, and the scent of spilled ale or mead.
“Now I remember one particular song of his… How did it go? Ah, now I remember, I think it went along the lines of ‘Four and Twenty virgins came down from Canterlot, and when the sun came up, humble virgins they were not~” Luna nearly sang, only to be cut off by a hoof to her mouth.
“Stop right there Luna.”
The Princess of the Night collapsed into a fit of giggles. Her sister was easy to provoke, given the right words were said, though in her case, knowing that one of her son’s songs would annoy her sister so brought amusement to her.
“I take it that my son’s infamy only grew with time?”
“That it did.”
“I wonder, how many foa-” Luna’s eyes widened, as her train of thought quickly changed.
“What is it Luna?”
“The birth records, they are frequently added to are they not?”
“Yes, with every foal born a new scroll… appears…” Celestia’s eyes widened, with a blink Luna disappeared from the kitchen, leaving the Sun Princess alone.
...
Hours later Celestia had found her sister in the same room, sitting atop an organized mountain of scrolls, her eyes remained as wide as they were that morning. And her breathing was as quick as ever.
“Luna? Lunaaa, Lulu?” Celestia asked her sister remained silent; waving her hoof in front of her face didn’t help matters, as Luna continued to stare.
“He had many foals…” Luna answered, as her eyes never seemed to stray from looking forward.
“Yes, given his reputation, I’d gather that he did...”
“His children; sons in particular, shared his… enthusiasm, when they came of age.”
“How many?”
“See for yourself.” And with that a set of lights went on, behind Luna a wall began to glow, and on it was what looked to be a family tree. On it a portrait of said Night Princess lay at the top.
“Morpheus? You ended up with MORPHEUS?!” Celestia exclaimed, her hoof pointing to the portrait next to her sister. On it one of her more accomplished generals stared back.
“Celly-”
“Do you know how LONG the bet between me and the Deer Seers about both of you lasted?” Celestia continued.
“Er- I”
“After all these centuries I can finally proclaim MY triumph.” She added,
“As happy as I am to know that you at least bear no ill will towards him I would like you to focus your gaze downward,”
“The next time Elcarien visits I’ll bring her here, then she’ll give me that necklace she promis- oh...”
The chart extended downwards, and the branches kept on multiplying, and multiplying and multiplying. The etchings on the wall seemed to scroll downwards and readjust in scale the further down they went.
“How- How ma-”
“Two point six-” Luna whispered,
“Hundred?”
“Million.” Luna emphasized, still wide eyed, and very much at a loss for words.
“Wha-”
“Two point six million ponies Tia.”
The silence remained, Celestia stood silent, her eyes widened to rival Luna’s as the numbers sank in. Their reverie was shattered however; with a magical pop, as another birth certificate poofed into the room.
“I stand corrected, two point six million and counting.”
“Mother of Equestria…”
“I should probably lay claim to that title...”
...
Mother of Equestria!
ONE THIRD OF NATION, REVEALED TO BE DESCENDED FROM PRINCESS LUNA
ADDITIONAL DESCENDANTS CONFIRMED IN THE COLONIES
“To be honest, I’m both confused and ecstatic.” Princess Luna says.
Many were shocked at the proclamation that about 2.6 million ponies in the nation, roughly a third of the population,or about one in every three ponies, are descended from Her Majesty Princess Luna. When asked for confirmation, the Royal Hall of Records commented that the number continually climbs each year, adding to the already large record.
Several of the smaller noble houses make up this extensive list, and reports of magical family records in the faraway colonies swelling following this announcement hint that a significant multitude may yet be added to the growing roster.
more on pg. 4
Strange Fruit found unclaimed at Vanhoover customs office.
Locals conflicted as to what it actually smells like.
“I thought it smelled like chicken” Bystander says
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You could use an editor, your formating has many small slip ups, thinks like missing capital letters and unclear scene breaks. At times it was also unclear who was speaking.
This was really funny.
6039516
This comment is seconded.
On another note, why was that "Strange Fruit" thing even included, there at the end??
Reminds me of how Genghis Khan is supposed to have millions of decedents alive today.
6040596
That was sorta what i had in mind, when writing this.
6040279
To be honest, i wanted those last parts to mimic an regular newspaper,
That and the fruit thing might tie into another thing i'm planning on writing.
6040596
6040662
I take it from these two comments that Celestia calls her citizens 'her little ponies' for a good reason?
6041224
Her descendants aren't as numerous, since they only kept to the Noble bloodlines.
So who was Evening Star's father?
I'm more interested in this
6041903
We'll get to that eventually.
I bet Twilight's ancestry is among those 2.6 million.
It just seems right to me that Twilight would be a descendant of the Princess of Night.
6042585
She's descended from both actually.
It'll need a little bit of proofreading, as it really is quite good.
I especially loved that dramabomb. Haha, she has a son.
This is a fun bit of nonsense.
They must have been multiplying like rabbits. They should really learn how to use protection.
Mother of Equestria i didnt see this coming. Well done.
made me think of a line from Digger by Ursula Vernon
[when Digger finds out she is the descendant of a wombat that worked on the shackle of a dying god]
"Isn't that a little ... improbable?"
"I had eight sons. A thousand years ago. You do the math."
I always imagined Twilight as a descendant of Luna. This gives a pretty damn good case that she might be.
going into my faves folder
And yet, not a ONE of those kiddies has bat winglies!
6041314
I'm going to assume Morpheus, just going off this bit-
Since the progenitors of the line would be at the top, side by side, one can take away that Morpheus was the father.
Basic genetics + statistics make this to be expected. If we assume a 25 year average generation then 1000 years is 40 generations. After that long statistics strongly favor two outcomes: either your decendants died off or they are a sizable portion of the population.
Good story, an upvote for you. I wonder how many of the Mane6 belong to Luna's line. 2 out of 6 probably.
Not entirely sure if the comedy tag was needed; it was very light after all, with the only notable jokes being the mention of the song, the bet, the mother of Equestria line, and that random bit at the end. Usually the tag is reserved for balls out comedy.
P.S.
Sounds like most of Luna's son's children would have been out of wedlock and the products of one night stands. Would the records have him listed as the father in such cases?
6045634
They most definitely would regardless of legitimacy.
6045734
I guess I'm unclear about how the records work in this, maybe I missed something. Is it completely controlled by infallible magic, like it's impossible for a stallion to deny fatherhood? If a mare slept around prior to conception, would the genealogy still be able to pinpoint the correct father at birth or something? Or does this work like in our world where the father has to sign the birth certificate? (That is how it works here right? Never had kids.)
I guess I'm wondering if, had he knocked up a mare during drunken sex, sneaked out before she woke up, and neither got or remembered each others names, would he still be listed as a father in the records? If this is the case, I guess ponies will never be able to enjoy the line, "You... Are not the father!" proceeded by the guys laughing in the crying girls face.
6045812
The Magic would confirm exactly who the father is.
I never really got around to fleshing out how it works, needless to say certain things can only be passed down through blood, that and some soul magic is involved.
Celestia and the others (namely Starswirl and the Deer Seers) crafted the system both to provide for unfortunate bastards and as a way to keep some of the nobility in line.
Seeing how huge the Apple Family is, I'd say Applejack's family has a high chance of being descended from Luna.
Wasn't bad but I though its gonna be little something different
And then it turns out sunset Shimmer is Celestia's daughter.
6047160
Or descendant, Solara's descendants number Most of Canterlot at this point
6047183
But daughter is funnier, considering they both basically have the same powers.
6041270
Nobles are famous for children out of wedlock and Luna's son was noble in blood.
We don't even know how many Celstia's descendants were hidden like Luna's son.
And there is chance that Luna's descendants had children with Celestia's descendants.
In this case the title of mother of Equestria could hold thousands other ponies that were mixed in Luna's descendants.
6047191
Interesting. We don't know anything about Sunset's powers.
6047212
That's pretty much why the whole bloodline tracking system was crafted.
Celestia, Starswirl and the Deer Seers wanted to create a system which would alert them to any children born out of wedlock who needed assistance. or to provide for them should they be too young. It also served as a system by which they could keep most of the Nobility in line.
She just never thought to check on Luna's records.
“Luna, we rule a Principality that’s been mislabeled as a Kingdom,” Best line I've read in a while.
6047252
Heh, i never thought anyone would get that. Nice to know that it made ya laugh.
6042589 Ooh, intriguing. I wonder if any of the other Mane Six are descended of either.
Also, I noticed that Celestia had a bet going. By the way she phrased it, the person she made the bet with is still alive. Are there other immortals in your head-canon/universe?
6047308
There are the Deer Seers, who are basically the Elves of that world.
yet not once trace of her sister was to be found.
one
“I’m sure that most of there don’t even belong here…”
these
“I’d always wondered why you didn’t end up looking like the you were on fire, what with all that magical energy.”
like you were
Hours later Celestia had found her sister the the same room,
sister in the same
Loved it! I had entertained the thought of one of the princesses finding out that they were related to a large majority of the populace but this is the first time I've seen someone really highlight it like this in such a comical manor.
6047335
Noted with the corrections made, thanks for pointing them out.
At first I thought this was a more sad fic, recounting about the time Luna didn't get to spend with her son and whatnot. Then it did a 180 and I was laughing my ass off. Bravo.
A great many corrections in punctuation and capitalization need to be made (a great many), perhaps a few said-tags here and there to help know who is speaking, and the utilization of horizontal rules would serve this fic well. But all in all, I thought this fic was extremely hilarious. I never would have thought to predict how many of the equestrian citizens were descendants of the royal family.
From now on, I will refer to Luna as the mother of Equestria.
Well done my good sir! Well done!
6047235
We know she has fire powers, and supposedly would be able to control the sun if she became an alicorn.
This story made me laugh. It needs to be proofread, but I faved it anyway.
Evening Star is a youtuber that makes brony music.
So Luna had a Child with Morpheus huh... well obviously she must have taken the Red Pill.
Is there any sequel planned for this?
Is anyone going to point out to her that after 40 generations, they would have no measurable genetic similarity to her compared to the general population?
This is appalling in terms of grammar and punctuation. Like, inexcusable mistakes. Right from the start.
Should be:
Should be:
Should be:
Honestly, I know people are going to say "stuff like that doesn't matter", but they're wrong. I'm not even being a grammar nazi; even with these corrections, it's still technically wrong, but that is the BARE MINIMUM of quality that you should make sure you have before you post. It's stuff you should know before you get to high school. And it's all the way through this fic. People who don't care don't care, and that's fine, but if you want to actually WRITE, you need to get it together and not have so many shockingly basic errors. I mean, I only looked at the first three paragraphs.
You have potential, but it's important to recognise that ignoring punctuation and grammar isn't okay if you actually want to write. The upvotes come from the STORY, which is pretty good, but please please make sure you know that they also come from people who either don't know or don't care about the basic rules of writing. Keep practising, and TRY HARD to fix these errors.
Good luck!