Berryshine is a simple mare from a simple town, and she has a simple wish.
A break.
Just one little holiday to recharge the old batteries, a nice, relaxing trip to someplace new, like maybe a reindeer town. Unfortunately, a 'minor' mishap up North means her train is commandeered for Shining Armour and Cadence's royal mission... with Berryshine still on it.
But hey, it's not like she needs to get caught up in anything, right? After all, the real heroes of Equestria are there to take care of business, and they never make mistakes.
Right?
Chapters (5)
Wow. Whomever gave this a thumbs down should explain themselves - I saw very little wrong with this.
So this is inspired by Berry Punch inexplicably showing up at the Crystal Faire?
Look on the bright side, Berry. Imagine what sorts of liquor you can find here from a thousand years ago!
Man, the lack of more likes and comments on this is simply criminal. This is some really good stuff right here.
I liked Berry complaining about how she felt like a background pony and wanted something fresh and new for a change.
Hmm. Where the heck WERE those kids?
6032973
Careful what you wish for.
Rainbow Dash could have gotten herself permanently trapped in a ring of black crystals with a simple flyby. And then they wouldn't have heard about the crystal heart being real in time to hide it, the crystal ponies would have seen the fake and been discouraged, and Sombra would have won!
That and seeing as Celestia and Luna had wielded the elements before, fought Sombra, and he ended up stealing everything for a thousand years, they may not have been a good enough solution to the fact that Sombra could've just rage-quit all over again.
6050586 Speaking cannonically Sombra was a prick. Check fiendship is magic #...1 I think. He basically banished the empire for two reasons.
1: The sisters were coming and he knew he could not win.
2: Spite. Because his girlfriend refused to side with him, (After turning Cadence's mom/her ancestor into dark crystal and then exploding her into a million pieces and scattering the remnants across the world) right in front of her, allowed his girlfriend to leave to warn the sisters and just as she was coming back to the city, "ensured that she would never see her beloved home again."
In short an actual evil bastard.
6051342 Comics aren't canon, but even that comic showed that he only really went evil because of quite a few factors beyond what your saying, Princess Amore wasn't the brightest seeing as she knew what he was but did NOTHING at all to help him, he ended up embracing his dark fate because he literally felt he had NOTHING at all, he grew up in an Orphanage and suffered under bullies because he wasn't a crystal pony and had a unique look to him, his Umbral heritage caused him horrific nightmares of being a horrific monster constantly, the Crystal Fair actually paralyzes his body every year without him actually knowing why causing him undue stress and pain, Discovering that his best friend/girlfriend Radiant Hope is now a princess candidate matching with his rather horrific dreams and visions, and the final straw that broke the camels back was actually discovering his Umbra fate which caused him to jump off the deep end.
Princess Amore wasn't exactly a wisest princess, considering she stole the Crystal Heart from a Dragon's Horde (That Celestia had to smooth over or else he was going to destroy the entire kingdom), and she totally thought Sombra was going to just go good when his entire life has been very, very poor and thought there really was nothing for him except to be in pain or cause pain and embrace his heritage.
He also left Radiant Hope out of the city both as a punishment, and because he cared too much about her to actually want to harm her, so it was some sort of cruel mercy on his part.
6051538
But still, I suppose that you are right. I mean, there are probably a lot of really interesting things they could have done, or used (but once again "limitations" such as page count or show running time can be a hindrance. I mean, you're right. Why didn't she at least continue to show up every so often and give him encouragement or something. But then again, he had a super flimsy excuse. One day of pain per year vs eradicating/enslaving an entire tribe (race?) "just because."
True mental scarring + nightmares and bullying. Then again, I'm an insane optimist, but having studied/touched upon the subject, well. Text books doesn't often follow life's rules and people's judgements. So. It's all up in arms. It just feels so short. A reason why she didn't intervene, what he could have done to stop the bullying, or anything like that. but though it is really clear that he didn't do it to 'protect her.' No, he did it on purpose to hurt her as an ultimate "fuck you" to Radiant. At least that's how I read it. Nonetheless...
I do like this story/stories that explain/poke at the "glitched/animation errors" that happen sometimes. ie Berry Punch in the background of an episode, or that "Two and two and two and two" bit that Pinkie Pie did. It's good times and great fun.
In short, the comics are canon, however if Hasbro wants to introduce a sixth or eighth alicorn and the comics says that it's not possible, then. Well, it's going to happen. However there was a tweet from one of the show's writers that stated (Somewhere? Someone screencapped it. I'll go find it) saying that "Well, the comics covered a lot of the issues already, so we don't have to, nor have we been requested to write to correct them."
6051928
It was certainly a combination of the things, and unlike you I'm not the optimist, he was under constant fire barrage with nothing to look forward to except more of the same, and the discovery that the Princess knew exactly what he was going through and just thought "Well hey, you'll turn out good I believe in you, not gonna do anythin' though." Was one of the factors that actually twisted the knife that caused him to go over before he turned her and shattered her. So the whole encouragement thing was actually a major point in that.
The problem with the canon is that there has been some major characterization issues even compared to the worst episodes of the show, massively fluctuating levels of plot, the Deer Arc, and Tedly Anderson... Yeah I'd rather ignore the Comics canonizations entirely and stick with the Journal/Show.
6052055 I dunno, the show has referenced the deer tribes. But I do have to admit that Celestia and Luna falling for the tentacle plant growth trick again does have me scratching my head.
6052126 Oh I just disliked that Deer Arc in general, the villain was meh, the Deer were Elvish Dicks, and the King basically went into full on retribution towards anyone.
6052206 Yup. I heard that the comic's taking a more serious and darker tone though, which I did have a slight feel towards. But yes, the Deer arc was rediculous. I can only imagine what the Kirins are going to be like. Jeez.
6052055 Well, there's also the fact that the dark crystal thing told Sombra he'd DIE at the next Faire if he didn't turn evil, so…there's that, too.
Still kinda funny how the Crystal Heart actually came to the Crystal ponies,
What? This only got a lukewarm reception?
This is fantastic stuff! Definitely in the top 20 stories I've read on this site, and that's saying something considering my favorite list is over 250 stories. I will be looking out for whatever comes next.
But seriously, this was an amazing story. Just the right length, full of interesting characters and great behind-the-scenes adventure. Fantastic.
I liked how you stayed true as much as possible to the episode yet at the same time worked out a few of the wrinkles. Two thumbs up.
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Thanks! I was worried about some of the details, but it was fun to write. One of my attempts to try and capture show look and feel.
I just read this fic in one go and I have to say: I like it.
The story fits really well into the original episode while filling a bunch of plot holes with interesting head canon. Other plot holes are just flat out pointed out with a nice bit of humor while maintaining the seriousness of the story.
I like stories like this, where the Mane6 still do their canon thing and save the day and all that but behind the scenes plays out another hero story. Berry gets into that whole situation by sheer bad luck but the goodness in her heart as well as the common sense of a level headed pony gets her to identify the problem and guides her to the solution. We get the sense of urgency and seriousness such a situation presents while the story doesn't take itself too seriously. Berry becomes a hero in the silent background and gets her reward in the end: Vacation.
It was a fun read. I had my chuckles, I had my gasps and I got a nice somewhat-twist at the end there.
Now what I didn't like: (I am no native english speaker so either I don't see grammar and spelling errors or I just don't care enough, so none of that.)
The story follows Berry exclusively including leaving out pieces where she is asleep.
But it swaps to Cadence's point of view for a bit after she send Berry away to fetch chocolate oil. It does that without warning or transition. Literally one paragraph we get to know Berrys thoughts and the next there are Cadence's. It caught me by surprise and took me out of the experience a little. I can see why you did that, it gave us a bit of perspective on what Cadence's position was in that entire spectacle. That is all well and good but the POV switches so suddenly and without an explanation. I am no writer, so take that with a grain of salt, but I didn't like how that switch was handled and am not sure if it was really necessary.
The second time the POV switches is when Quartz Leaf learns of his wife and daughter. It starts after a break where a scene cut was necessary anyways and ends with the chapter's end. So it basically happens in a "closed environment", I like that better. It gives us an idea how Leaf's love for Onyx is strong enough to exist beyond his memory of her. It also gives us a bit of insight of how the crystal ponies get their spark back. Again I could question if it was necessary from a story stand point but in my opinion it was handled better and made for a more interesting description then just the two mares running up to him and handing over the filly all the while trying to explain his internal realization with just what Berry sees and thinks.
Again I like the second one better, but that might just be personal taste.
As things are I like the fic and I think it's sad that it got so little attention. Have a like and a fav. Would (and will) read again.
MfG NIchtraucher
6688305
Thanks very much for the feedback. The points you mentioned in spoiler markings were things I worried about, for the very reasons you mentioned. Basically I wanted to know whether it worked or whether it broke the fic entirely. And since it turned out okay overall, I think it worked, but it's not something to repeat too often.
One thing I like to keep in mind is that stories are defined by both their good and their bad traits. Experimental stuff like that helps determine which is which.
The Crystal Empire doesn't get enough love, I find. Crystal ponies especially.
Well this is a pretty interesting situation for Barry shine and it looks like she got herself in this situation that the Crystal Empire is back and now she is with Princess Cadence and Shining Armor and I wonder how she can contribute to this situation although I did remember re watching the episode and I did saw her in the background when Rainbow dash and Fluttershy did the jousting so very interesting
Wow Berry I never thought you felt that way
You did mention deers a couple of times and I've always wanted to see them in the show ever since they made their appearances in the comic
Oh trust me lady there's a lot of things going on in Ponyville just for a small town
So it looks like Shining Armor and Cadence and Barry shine finally made it to the center of the castle and Cadence use her protective shield and purify the Crystal Empire and shining armor also for his magic as well now he's just waiting for Twilight and the others to get here while Barry shine look around the Crystal Empire she met up with a couple of crystal ponies but they look a little drain and dull because after being free from King Sombra the magic is still a little drain but the thing is now she needs to find out what happened to the children but it looks like she found something I wonder what could it be
Lol foreshadowing of season 3 finale they're going to be in Big surprise
Yeah about that......
Okay it looks like things got a little dark in the moment in this chapter so Berry Punch was still searching for the children and she came into a farm but no children just statues but then there was a couple of noises and it's coming from the statue Berry wanted to see if she was alive in there she sounded tired so she tried to give her something to drink but something shocked her and she went silent and to Berry Punch it really shocked her and devastated and she looked around the statues all of them are children so she went back to the castle to give Princess Cadence has information about the children's whereabouts but it looks like the crystal fair is starting and that makes the Mane 6 and spike are here when she got to the castle she saw them pretty a mess but she told them about what is going on and Berry Punch is not taking it too well about the plan and she's worried about the children and yeah I get it but don't worry Berry I'm sure everything will work out and I'm sure the kid is still alive somewhere in there just hang in there
and there she is random Berry Punch in the background
Whoa this is actually getting intense right now so it looks like Berry Punch is watching the jousting but she was talking with onyx about the crystal fair and everything and she even told her about some personal things like family members or something like that but it looks like Onyx is memory is coming back to her because she remembers she has a daughter she haven't seen her ever since King Sombra kidnapped all the children so Berry Punch told her what she found and told her that they are turn to statues and it turns out that her daughter is name is opal Bloom the one that Berry talked to earlier so she lead her to the farm of the location and onyx try to comfort her daughter and somehow it's broke the statue open in her daughter is free but something is odd about all the statues are stand like that and there was a sharp object behind them and it turns out if they ever fall down like that they will all die so now Berry and Onyx has to find all the statue of the kids and the rebels who are standing before they wake up into the Doom hopefully she'll get them in time
Ha very clever Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer nice
Wow that was pretty intense so Berry Punch and onyx search everywhere for the kids and the rebels statues and they searched high and low for every statues they look like they're about to fall down and it once they got all of them down they had for the central but what they found is Spike got the crystal heart but what catches Berry punches eyes there was one more statue that is strapped up by a robe and it turns out that is one of the princess name Skyla ( which I'm going to have to treat this as an alternate universe story because you know ) but once she got there it looks like Cadence got the crystal heart and activated and all the crystal ponies activate their magic power and King Sombra is no more and it looks like somebody fall on Berry Punch passing heart to blackout after all the exhaustion after she's awake some of the crystal ponies including Skylar thank Berry Punch for saving them and but later there was a couple of deers showed up and basically taking Berry Punch in their care after all she really deserve a well vacation after what she's been through this was a pretty nice Story of Berry Punch keep up the good work