*Contains spoilers for Skylanders Academy season 1-3, if you want to avoid spoilers, do not read further.*
*I couldn't find a tag for Skylander's Academy or just Skylanders, so Spyro The Dragon will have to do.*
Dark Spyro, friend, enemy, loyal comrade, traitor, good, evil, friendly, hostile, he no longer knows, at first things were simple, go undercover and when the time was right, strike.
And then he failed, his cover was blown and he was driven to madness by Strykore, he was captured and then in his anger, he attacked Spyro after they were split, he failed again and almost died in the process.
Dark Spyro now finds himself somewhere unknown, freezing and badly wounded, he no longer feels Strykore's influence in his mind and he no longer knows his place, or where he belongs, he only has two goals in mind, survive, and make things better with his friends, if they even see him as one anymore.
But maybe, just maybe, this strange place could be just what he needs to at least try, he knows he might fail, but that no longer matters to him, a second chance was given to him, and he will do what he can with it.
*There are three what if scenarios that this is based off of, so if you haven't watched season 3 to its completion, i recommend you do so before reading.*
promises to be good
Good start thus far! I too, felt underwhelmed by where they took Dark Spyro's character in Skylanders Academy.
My only critique(s) thus far is that Sunset seems to come out of nowhere, with little explanation as to why she's there. Probably just me though. I'm sure Sunset's role in all of this will be explained in future chapters, yes?
Also:
I believe this should be broken up as we have two speakers in the same paragraph, each Speaker should have their own paragraph.
10023860
Thanks for the feedback, and as for the paragraph split, thanks for pointing that out and it is fixed.
10023831
Well, I hope I don't dissapoint, thanks for the read by the way.
It’s a great story, will there be more chapters?
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Yep, I just need to check the current chapters for any errors and then do the same for the next one, then it will be released, should be out either today or tommorow.
10026471
That’s great
This, is nice. There’s not a lot of stories about Dark Spyro, which is kind of sad. Though there are a few things that you could do to improve the story: Generally, never have two characters speak in one paragraph, if there’s a new character speaking, you start a new paragraph. Also, when doing this, remember to make sure that the actions in the paragraph belong to the one speaking as it can otherwise be confusing as to who is doing what. Finally, you seam to have “your” and “you’re” swapped, “your” is the possessive version of you, while “you’re” is the shortening of “you are”. As a rule of thumb, ‘ is used when shortening something.
All things considered, the story is decent, though an explanation for how Sunset appeared should be something to consider. As of right now, it feels more like plot conveyance, to be honest.
10047783
First off, thanks for the advice, I'll get around to fixing things up a bit so the story isn't as confusing to read.
As for the thing with Sunset, it will be explained in a later chapter, I do plan on explaining it but I will say that it isn't just for plot convenience.....at least I think it isn't.
10048148
Alright! That’s good to hear. I look forward to future updates.
Much like last time... um... reads again. Much last like time... ah...
That’s a great chapter.
10070388
Thanks.
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To be fair, Twilight overreacted to a late friendship report that she didn't even need to send and proceeded to go insane.
So yea.....I think she would overreact to an anomaly that nobody knows anything about.
While the story is generally enjoyable, I find myself annoyed when I see the pauses using too many dots, it’s supposed to be three dots ‘...’, not more, or less, for that matter. It’s a small thing that would make your story much more pleasing to read.
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I will admit I never can get the pauses with dots down, for some reason as I see them I picture each dot as a second, if I ever get around to it I'll start cutting the number down to three.
Thanks for the tip and the read!
10085162
No problem! I have a picture of all the pauses and their use on my profile, but here you go. It’s useful for remembering everything. camo.fimfiction.net/ydWgwSsdIwkFsq2a5Czfl6yOeWqypwLl9sp2TZjKfgs?url=https%3A%2F%2Fthevisualcommunicationguy.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2014%2F06%2FInfographic_Punctuation1.jpg
Hello been a while, story's good so far just thought I'd leave some critiques.
I feel that Eon's dialogue here is too simplistic: mostly comprised of questions that can answered with yes or no, and of course forgives him immediately. That's not to say that Eon wouldn't forgive Dark Spyro at the drop of a hat (Celestia would to actually, maybe we should have them meet XD), I just feel that there should be more to the conversation; Eon asking about what he remembers, things he regrets, intentions of returning to the academy, etc. The end destination shouldn't change, but how Dark Spyro gets there should.
On a similar note, I think the Skylanders (mostly Eon as the rest saw his memories) calling Dark Spyro by his name is somewhat of a plot hole, as I don't think he chose the name himself until the end of chapter one. It'd make more sense for them to be calling him "Spyro's evil half", "The other Spyro", etc. at least until Dark Spyro introduces himself.
I feel Spyro (the real one) was a bit OOC here. Granted, I'm sure interacting with his other half was the last thing he'd like to do, I just haven't thought of Spyro as being an openly hostile type of person. Maybe in his debut, but I'd to think he would've moved past that, as a result of character development. Of course, the only interaction we've had of him is in Dark Spyro's pov, so this critique is likely inaccurate. Maybe you should explore Spyro's pov or have Sunset interact with him in her pov in the next chapter.
Speaking of which, I don't recall an explanation on how Sunset got involved yet. I think her debut implied that there were "wibbly wobbly timey wimey" elements at play. I don't recall anything else past that. (Obvious Doctor Who reference.
)
As much as I like Stealth Elf slapping Dark Spyro to get him to listen to her in this same scene, I feel Spyro being able to use a memory spell at the village of Jade is bit too...convenient for the plot. It might've been better to have some conflict where the Skylanders believe that Dark Spyro is the cause, least until Dark Spyro, Sunset, and/or Tempest explain what really went down.
That's all my critiques for now. Looking forward to the next chapter and whatever hijinks Sunset & Tempest get into at the Academy.
10085780
First, thanks for the criticism, It means a lot that you care enough to give me advice to help out.
Secondly, to the matter of the chapter itself, I basically wrote the entire thing in a frustrated and aggravated mood, and I was a little distracted when I wrote, that's no excuse for skimming over a ton of details, but I feel I need to say that.
Thirdly, a lot of what happened in this chapter will be explained either next chapter or the one after that, such as Eon and Spyro's behaivor and even why Dark Spyro didn't bother saying anything about changing his name or not having a say in the matter, I also wouldn't go so far as to say he has been forgiven, more like he's being given the chance to make things right.
But yeah, I wasn't very happy with this chapter after I published it, I didn't realize just how much better I could have made it if I only took a while longer.
Nice one dude this is an awesome story.
10147618
Thanks, that means a lot.
Keep going man.
Love the dark Spyro and tempest moments! Keep up the good work
I wish chapters came out more but I love the story nonetheless and can’t wait to read more!
Love the story keep it up
Love the chapter, I think is what tempest and sunset were talking about ha, can’t wait to see more!
First of all, great chapter. I loved the tipping point in this story arc.
Second off, i personally think that dark spyro has some trace of strykore lingering on him, like a scar of sorts.
And third and foremost, im honestly looking foward to the next chapter when this hopefully gets resolved.
10471480
First, I'm glad you like how this went, I kinda hated myself for doing what I did near the end, so this does help.
Secondly, that theory about a scar from Strykore is a very good one and is pretty damn spot on.
Thirdly, well... you'll just have to wait and see huh?
i have an idea for the next few chapters. the plot could go down like the following.
1. Eon inspects dark spyro and notices that there is a scar of sorts left by Strykore's impression on him, both physically, mentally, and emotionally.
2. Tempest comes to terms that dark spyro was born from hatred, malice, and darkness. and eon expresses the fact still remains that no matter how much dark spyro tries to dread it, or run from it, he will always be faced with the reality that he was born from spyro's darkness, darkness that spyro created out of anger towards eon for "murdering his family, his entire race", spyro's words, not mine, in which spyro will also have to come to terms with.
3. spyro and dark spyro duke it out and by the end, dark spyro not only starts to awaken his full power in the heat of the moment, but also expresses his true feelings about himself, and what he has done.
4. dark spyro runs away out of shame and guilt(2nd time in this story, I get it.)
5. spyro and his friends search to find him, and eventually finds him. and spyro and dark spyro both finally come to terms with what led up to this moment, and finally reconcile, and call themselves brothers in the process.
10474274
Wow... I love these ideas!
Particularly 2 and 3, 4/5 I like but not as much, and that's only a slight difference mind you, (assuming 5 is a continuation of 4) one of those is actually close to what I have planned, (not gonna say which one though, got to keep some kind of suspense right?
While idea 1 is good, I will reveal that this particular one is technically already in the story and is already canonical, and since it's already in there's no harm revealing a little bit about it, to begin with a good part of Strykore's lingering influence is Dark Spyro's sleep deprivation through Arc 1 and up to this point in Arc 2, though past that it's more of his inner doubts, irritation and hatred, much like he started to feel rising as the tournament went on, past that I can't say just yet.
I guess I can talk about ideas 2-5 a little bit.
For idea 2, from a storytelling perspective I love the idea of Tempest having to come to terms with the fact that the dragon she admires is not perfect, he may not be evil and he may have saved her life, but Dark Spyro does have faults that Tempest wasn't expecting at all, one of which is a rather painful truth.
Idea 3, I love this one particularly for the fact that it actually builds off of something I already nodded at in a previous chapter, which is Dark Spyro and Spyro's rematch, now I won't say that I guarantee that Dark Spyro will win because I don't want him to be considered overpowered by any means, because he was technically was at full power when they initially fought and he was actually stronger than Spyro if you look closely, and I also like the idea of Dark Spyro snapping, not in the 'go crazy try to kill everyone' way but more of the 'I can't take the pressure and I'm tired of bottling it all up' kind of way.
As for ideas 4/5(again, assuming they are connected) I will not say that it's an impossibility, it's more improbable especially when you consider the fact that Dark Spyro has lately been accepting of any and all forms of punishment, whether it be physical harm(A fight) or emotional pain(Scoldings, arguing, various ways of hurting people with words) etc.
Also, not gonna lie... idea 5 is scary with how close it is to what I wanna do, and yes, if he does run away out of shame or guilt, it will indeed be the second time but this time it wouldn't be to survive, it would be to hide and sulk most likely.
Great ideas in general, I'm actually kinda curious how you came up with these and/or if you had any form of reference to draw off of.
Edit: oh wait, it was all one idea... Ah.
10474808
Im an introspective kind of person. I see something. Whether it be art, A video, a movie, a fanfiction, or even just my own imagination, and i come up with ideas based off of that.
Well, this confirms three things.
1. The more dark spyro uses his dark abilities, the less traces of spyro, or light magic, is shown from within.
2. Strykore apparently left some kind of imprint on dark spyro that is continually corrupting him from the inside-out both physically, mentally, and emotionally.
3. Dark Spyro is starting to acknowledge the fact that he is born from darkness. And no amount of magic can change that.
I am in the process of reading the entire story again because its probably one of my favorite stories so far on this website.
Hey. Its been a while, how is the story coming along? Its been a little while since you last posted and i was wondering how it is coming along.
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To be perfectly honest I haven't actually been working on it.
I've got a lot going on IRL now, and whenever I try to just write I can't focus or I lose my enthusiasm, it's not dead at all, I just need to pick a time and just write without interruption if possible.
That... and I need to remember exactly what I was doing for the next chapter.
Can’t wait to read more, don’t know why but this is one of my favorite story’s!
Is this story still active, i feel as if its hardly ever mentioned. I still enjoy it, but i wasnt sure if it was still active
The 4 years was worth the wait lmfao, glad i got to read it at least
OK I really loved that conversation between Cynder and Dark Spyro
yes finally the story continue😍, i was so afraid it was dead
Caught up with this as i saw the new chapter after thinking it was abandoned. Good story.
And all i have to say is that i waited until i reached the last chapter to say i shipped it. But then i saw the line.
The one line. Rip me thinking Dark Tempyro was going to be a thing (yes i even thought of a ship name when reading the chapters.)
11802177
Yea, to be honest I considered pairing the two, and I kinda leaned into it early on but after a while I guess I changed my mind, not entirely sure when I wrote that part, was a cute thought though.
I figured that I wrote that line for a reason, and I didn't want to take that away if it was something crucial to the story, I really can't remember though.
11802451
Eh it's fine the story is still great and just one ship destroyed won't stop me from reading it. Instead i might just read more between the line to find any hints of who Dark spyro may end up with in the end