• Member Since 28th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

Sylif Daring Doo


Expecting consistency with the TV show? Want accuracy down to a point? then your in the wrong place, there is little consistency here and I am proud of it.

T

*Contains spoilers for Skylanders Academy season 1-3, if you want to avoid spoilers, do not read further.*

*I couldn't find a tag for Skylander's Academy or just Skylanders, so Spyro The Dragon will have to do.*

Dark Spyro, friend, enemy, loyal comrade, traitor, good, evil, friendly, hostile, he no longer knows, at first things were simple, go undercover and when the time was right, strike.

And then he failed, his cover was blown and he was driven to madness by Strykore, he was captured and then in his anger, he attacked Spyro after they were split, he failed again and almost died in the process.

Dark Spyro now finds himself somewhere unknown, freezing and badly wounded, he no longer feels Strykore's influence in his mind and he no longer knows his place, or where he belongs, he only has two goals in mind, survive, and make things better with his friends, if they even see him as one anymore.

But maybe, just maybe, this strange place could be just what he needs to at least try, he knows he might fail, but that no longer matters to him, a second chance was given to him, and he will do what he can with it.

*There are three what if scenarios that this is based off of, so if you haven't watched season 3 to its completion, i recommend you do so before reading.*

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 21 )

promises to be good

Good start thus far! I too, felt underwhelmed by where they took Dark Spyro's character in Skylanders Academy.

My only critique(s) thus far is that Sunset seems to come out of nowhere, with little explanation as to why she's there. Probably just me though. I'm sure Sunset's role in all of this will be explained in future chapters, yes?

Also:

"They are kinda common in the Skylands." Dark Spyro replied first, seeking to end the silence. "I played a bunch, you?" He asked, the mare then checked the hall before answering. "I played a couple, different dimension though, I had hands then." She replied carefully, which was not unnoticed by the dragon.

I believe this should be broken up as we have two speakers in the same paragraph, each Speaker should have their own paragraph.

10023860

Thanks for the feedback, and as for the paragraph split, thanks for pointing that out and it is fixed.:twilightsmile:

10023831

Well, I hope I don't dissapoint, thanks for the read by the way.

Lyo

It’s a great story, will there be more chapters?

10026391

Yep, I just need to check the current chapters for any errors and then do the same for the next one, then it will be released, should be out either today or tommorow.

This, is nice. There’s not a lot of stories about Dark Spyro, which is kind of sad. Though there are a few things that you could do to improve the story: Generally, never have two characters speak in one paragraph, if there’s a new character speaking, you start a new paragraph. Also, when doing this, remember to make sure that the actions in the paragraph belong to the one speaking as it can otherwise be confusing as to who is doing what. Finally, you seam to have “your” and “you’re” swapped, “your” is the possessive version of you, while “you’re” is the shortening of “you are”. As a rule of thumb, is used when shortening something.

All things considered, the story is decent, though an explanation for how Sunset appeared should be something to consider. As of right now, it feels more like plot conveyance, to be honest.

10047783

First off, thanks for the advice, I'll get around to fixing things up a bit so the story isn't as confusing to read.

As for the thing with Sunset, it will be explained in a later chapter, I do plan on explaining it but I will say that it isn't just for plot convenience.....at least I think it isn't.:unsuresweetie:

10048148
Alright! That’s good to hear. I look forward to future updates.

Much like last time... um... reads again. Much last like time... ah...

Lyo

That’s a great chapter.

Twilight rested her head on the back of her seat and closed her eyes. ' I just hope I'm not overreacting. '

Seriously Twilight Sparkle , YOU ALLREADY OVERREACTED?

10073498
To be fair, Twilight overreacted to a late friendship report that she didn't even need to send and proceeded to go insane.

So yea.....I think she would overreact to an anomaly that nobody knows anything about.

ook what hapends next

While the story is generally enjoyable, I find myself annoyed when I see the pauses using too many dots, it’s supposed to be three dots ‘...’, not more, or less, for that matter. It’s a small thing that would make your story much more pleasing to read. :twilightsheepish:

10084890
I will admit I never can get the pauses with dots down, for some reason as I see them I picture each dot as a second, if I ever get around to it I'll start cutting the number down to three.

Thanks for the tip and the read!

Hello been a while, story's good so far just thought I'd leave some critiques.

I feel that Eon's dialogue here is too simplistic: mostly comprised of questions that can answered with yes or no, and of course forgives him immediately. That's not to say that Eon wouldn't forgive Dark Spyro at the drop of a hat (Celestia would to actually, maybe we should have them meet XD), I just feel that there should be more to the conversation; Eon asking about what he remembers, things he regrets, intentions of returning to the academy, etc. The end destination shouldn't change, but how Dark Spyro gets there should.

On a similar note, I think the Skylanders (mostly Eon as the rest saw his memories) calling Dark Spyro by his name is somewhat of a plot hole, as I don't think he chose the name himself until the end of chapter one. It'd make more sense for them to be calling him "Spyro's evil half", "The other Spyro", etc. at least until Dark Spyro introduces himself.

I feel Spyro (the real one) was a bit OOC here. Granted, I'm sure interacting with his other half was the last thing he'd like to do, I just haven't thought of Spyro as being an openly hostile type of person. Maybe in his debut, but I'd to think he would've moved past that, as a result of character development. Of course, the only interaction we've had of him is in Dark Spyro's pov, so this critique is likely inaccurate. Maybe you should explore Spyro's pov or have Sunset interact with him in her pov in the next chapter.

Speaking of which, I don't recall an explanation on how Sunset got involved yet. I think her debut implied that there were "wibbly wobbly timey wimey" elements at play. I don't recall anything else past that. (Obvious Doctor Who reference. :pinkiecrazy:)

"Master Eon taught Spyro a spell that allows him to show us any of his memories of a location, and since the two of you are the same dragon......" She said no more as I nodded in understanding. "Anyway, as we watched the memories of you in the village of Jade, we were unsure of what to make of them, Spyro insisted that it was all an act." The elf said.

As much as I like Stealth Elf slapping Dark Spyro to get him to listen to her in this same scene, I feel Spyro being able to use a memory spell at the village of Jade is bit too...convenient for the plot. It might've been better to have some conflict where the Skylanders believe that Dark Spyro is the cause, least until Dark Spyro, Sunset, and/or Tempest explain what really went down.

That's all my critiques for now. Looking forward to the next chapter and whatever hijinks Sunset & Tempest get into at the Academy.

10085780

First, thanks for the criticism, It means a lot that you care enough to give me advice to help out.

Secondly, to the matter of the chapter itself, I basically wrote the entire thing in a frustrated and aggravated mood, and I was a little distracted when I wrote, that's no excuse for skimming over a ton of details, but I feel I need to say that.

Thirdly, a lot of what happened in this chapter will be explained either next chapter or the one after that, such as Eon and Spyro's behaivor and even why Dark Spyro didn't bother saying anything about changing his name or not having a say in the matter, I also wouldn't go so far as to say he has been forgiven, more like he's being given the chance to make things right.

But yeah, I wasn't very happy with this chapter after I published it, I didn't realize just how much better I could have made it if I only took a while longer.

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