Modern Vernacular
Twilight grimaced as she used her magic to bring the shot glass to her lips for what must have been the fourth time that evening, knocking back the liquid patience as though it was second nature. She sighed with relief as she felt the stress and tension of the evening ease away just a little. Celestia was right; the alcohol was a good idea. Twilight wasn’t entirely certain how she’d ever made it through these little sessions before it. Still, it wasn’t that she regretted offering to acclimatize Luna with modern Equestrian vernacular. She just hadn’t expected Luna to be this out of date.
Twilight still remembered the evening she’d dragged herself off to bed only to be knocked out of it by a Discord shaped hay bale delivered by Luna for ‘her hitting pleasure,’ and she wasn’t even going to think about the time she’d offered to ‘get out of Luna’s mane’.
She understood the struggle. Really, she did. One thousand years of evolving language was only one of many things Luna had missed out on, and she was trying to catch up on all of them while still attending to her royal duties. To add to it all, Equestrian was likely the most convoluted language in all of Equus. It was just… difficult. Being out of date was one thing, but sometimes Luna’s interpretation of modern idioms was downright disturbing. Most of the time as a matter of fact.
Twilight caught herself before she started reflecting on past lessons. Only madness lay down that path.
On the subject of madness, Luna was speaking again. “And we have been informed by Tia that this ‘hanging out’ is not a new method of execution?”
Twilight nearly spat out her drink. “Execution? Execution has been outlawed in Equestria since-” she couldn’t put her hoof on the number, but she was sure it was a large one. “Since forever!”
Luna stared at her. “Truly?”
Twilight nodded. It made her uncomfortable to even think about… that.
Luna adopted a thoughtful disposition. “Then perhaps our ponies feared us not for the night, but for the widespread execution of all who opposed our foreign policy?”
Twilight blinked.
“T’was a joke, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Oh.” Twilight laughed nervously. “It wasn’t very funny.”
Luna sighed. “Perhaps we should move on, Twilight Sparkle. It appears our sense of humour does us no favours this evening.” She hesitated. “What of the phrase ‘to make out’? We were of the understanding that it merely meant ‘to see’, but Tia tells us it has adopted a new meaning? We are… confused, as to what other meaning such a simple phrase could come to possess?”
Twilight considered Luna's question and quickly came to the unrelated but important conclusion that more alcohol was a very good idea. Slowly, she refilled her empty glass, bringing the drink to her muzzle delicately before slamming it back in a single gulp.
“Twilight? Thou hast adopted a most peculiar crimson hue. Are you unwell?”
I will be in the morning, Twilight didn’t say, choosing instead to attempt to answer Luna's original question. And 'attempt' was certainly the right word for it. “Making out is…” she stumbled on her words, though she was more than happy to attribute the effect to the alcohol in her system. “It’s… umm… It’s hard to describe. It’s when two ponies-”
Luna cut her off, and- was she smirking? “Perhaps it would be easier if you showed us?”
“That-” Twilight didn’t remember Luna being so close before. In fact she was quite certain they hadn’t been muzzle to muzzle before. The lidded eyes were new too, she considered. Of course, Luna’s suggestion certainly made sense. The show don’t tell rule applied to things like this, didn’t it? Twilight could feel her body heating up as Luna held her gaze. Or maybe it was the alcohol. Perhaps it was both? It was probably both.
She probably lacked the vocabulary to properly explain it anyway.
Luna leaned forward, and Twilight couldn’t help but notice how stunning a figure she cut under the shimmering moonlight.
Yep. She definitely didn’t have the vocabulary. In an utterly graceless motion, Twilight pressed her lips against the lunar diarch’s, misjudging the amount of force needed entirely and knocking Luna backwards to the balcony floor, wings splayed out behind her. She saw Luna’s eyes momentarily open wide with shock, adopting a somewhat comical ‘o’ shape as she tried to counterbalance the force of another alicorn’s embrace before giving up and letting Twilight carry on forward, Luna’s hooves reaching out to pull her tight.
Twilight paid the jarring impact no heed as she fell into the moon’s open embrace.
Twilight didn’t want to wake up. She could feel the sun beating down upon her, as well as the splitting headache that always followed a night involving alcohol. Intuition and experience told her that letting the two join forces could only end in disaster. She’d fall back asleep if she could - her dreams had been particularly wonderful and lucid - but the rhythmic breathing of her pony shaped mattress was distracting enough to keep that from being an option. The breath tickling her ear was also rather off putting and-
…
Twilight let one eye creep open.
Twilight closed it again, and ordered her mind to reboot. She confirmed that all higher functions were operating as smoothly as she could reasonably demand of them under the duress of a hangover, and let the eye sneak back open.
Logic dictated that once she’d eliminated all other possibilities, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Wings… Check.
Horn… Check.
Crescent moon emblazoned on flank… Check.
With that information in mind, she was reasonably certain Luna hadn’t introduced her to an identical twin sister last night, and ‘soulless being of eternal hatred and vengeance’ wasn’t checked off on the mental checklist. Chrysalis was still gone, so that left her with-
Suddenly last night’s lucid dreams made a great deal more sense.
“Good morning Twilight Sparkle,” a mirthful voice whispered into her ear. Twilight’s eyes snapped open, and she groaned as she desperately tried to blink away the blinding stream of light doing its best to impale her skull. “I must say, I found last night’s study session to be most rewarding, but I’m ashamed to say I may have forgotten one of your lessons. I believe it was… the last one?” Twilight had regained enough vision that she didn’t miss Luna’s suggestive wink. “Perhaps there could be a morning review?”
Twilight blinked. If she wasn't trying to jam her eyes shut and banish the sun from existence then she was fairly certain her eye would be twitching, and she could feel the 501st Panic Legion preparing another assault on the fortress she called her mind. A shake of her head scattered the troops, stymying the attack as she tried to scramble the necessary faculties to think upon the fact that Luna was still looking at her with bedroom eyes and oh Celestia-
Checklist. She needed a checklist.
She looked at her mental agenda for the week. Spend the night making out with Princess Luna had been roughly stenciled in between the lines and marked as complete. Below it, Spend the morning making out with Princess Luna was double underlined in bold font and eagerly awaiting the checkmark that would indicate all was still well with the world. A twinge at the back of her skull told her the forces of panic were regrouping to renew their attack.
Twilight nodded. She met Luna's eyes and her breath hitched. Her eyes… They twinkled with the light of a thousand million stars and suddenly the sun didn’t seem so blinding anymore. Twilight could see the wisdom in those eyes; the wisdom that spoke of utmost assurance in her actions and hid no doubt. Twilight could lose herself in those eyes; it felt like she might have already. The teasing smirk still shaped Luna’s features, but the sincerity was in her eyes. This wasn’t a game, and Luna wouldn’t press any harder than she already had.
Twilight smiled and leaned downward.
Luna met her halfway.
The embrace was deep, and Twilight offered no resistance as Luna pulled her deeper, her own hooves wandering. A lavender hoof found itself tracing the crescent moon which adorned Luna’s flank, and Twilight pressed herself further into the kiss as Luna couldn’t stifle a gasp. Her other hoof massaged open lunar wings, and Twilight broke the kiss with a grin as Luna purred with satisfaction.
“Luna,” Twilight whispered, gazing down at the other mare with an honest smile.
“Yes, Twilight?”
“When we’re done here, I’m going to panic harder than I ever have before, and it’s going to be your problem.”
Luna smirked. “You’ve had me hot and bothered for months, my dear Twilight. You’re already my problem.” She paused, and suddenly Twilight found herself rolled over sideways, wings extended and pinned to the ground by ebon hooves. Luna’s lips brushed her own; Twilight grinned like a smitten filly. “You’re the biggest problem I’ve ever faced,” Luna continued, dragging her hooves roughly down Twilight’s sides and caressing small circles along her flanks as Twilight let out a sharp gasp. “My favourite problem.” Twilight shuddered as Luna’s teeth clamped down on one of her ears, and then the other. Her tongue flicked out. “And. I. love it.” Her voice drawled sensually, the words caressing Twilight like rays of ensconcing moonshine, and Twilight melted under the weight of Luna’s affections.
She bit her tongue as she drank in the sight above her: a goddess framed by the backdrop of her element and gazing down at Twilight like she was the only other thing worthy of note within the world. When Twilight finally spoke, her voice was a whisper. “I think I’d love to stay your problem.”
Luna smiled, and for a moment the heat and lust was gone, and there was only calm, gentle, sincerity. “Until the last star dies and the moon crumbles from the heavens, my love.”
She moved to lean downward and Twilight met her at the top.
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Hm, this was alright.
5967230
Ju-
Jus-
Just alright?
Not... Outstandingly perfect?
:(
Well, I liked it.
Intriguing.
That was sickeningly adorable.
Error in description. You must be exterminated.
Cute story.
5969221
Well... you see...
Umm...
It was a reference to the challenge presented by all forms of paperwork associated with ruling Equestria?
EDIT: Apparently I'm featured when you turn off the mature filter. That's pretty cool. Now to go kick some clopfics off the front page and be featured for real?
Nicely done, G! Of course Luna knew exactly what she was doing.
5969224
Have an extra like to help you on your journey.
I was hoping that this would have more focus on the whole language thing...
When I see the cover art to this story the first thing that comes to mind are four words.
GIVE ME THAT ASS.
5969293
I can understand that. What's important to note is that this thing spawned from the prompt "Making out" on the collab, so the focus was... well obviously on that aspect of the story. I could have added more to the beginning to develop the aspect of the story, but every time I tried I was just incredibly unhappy with the effect it had on the pacing, and I came to the conclusion that if I wished to focus more on the language lessons I'd have to rethink the story from the ground up, and that would mean sacrificing the charm of the middle and end. It's possible I'd like to further explore those lessons in the future as a sidestory or something, but right now I'm putting my effort towards a much larger project that I'm looking forward to posting here within the next 4-5 weeks or so (I'm off to military training in a few days, and from what I've been told by last year's group, I should't expect computer access for 3-4 weeks).
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me though. It's different perspectives like this that force me to think more when I shape my future works.
It was okay.
5969319 amen to that XD
5969224
Always nice to see a TwiLuna story!
The initial descent into drunkenness and sex felt too fast to me. Like the entire first segment was just to get to the nice scene at the end of the second instead of it's own scene. It probably would have felt better if the first scene was expanded more and slowed down, or the set up explanation was part of Twilight's thoughts in the second scene and there was no first scene.
Regardless, a nice and sweet fic.
Now that is how it's done.
Honestly, there is too little in this for it to have any impact at all. Simply too short and simple to be called good.
But credit where it's due, your writing is excellent. And I am glad I read this, mainly because Luna's last comment is so epic. I'll file that away and hope I will some day find a use for it in my own writing. If I do, you'll be the most obscure source I've ever used.
5972597
Heh. I understand your viewpoint, and I'm glad that last statement offered some redemption. I'm looking to publish something much more substantial in the relatively near future, so hopefully you might find that to be much better.
5972668 Forgot to mention, I like sly Luna. That was cute. But I kinda came here expecting some more adorable "Luna being frustrated and clueless about expressions". I simply love when people give a little thought to expressions and words. When you get right down to it, most of our expressions seem weird without context. Kicking the bucket? Yes, it makes some sense, but not much. And that is just one among hundreds.
I'll keep an eye on you.
I like the idea of forwards drunk Twilight and shy sober Twilight.
5973673 That trope is overly done though... and that is usually what happens in real life as well... it's not an interesting or fresh concept. I must have read at least 20 stories with the exact same concept just with Fluttershy -_-
5973703 Overused ideas can be approached from different directions to give them new life again.
In reality, if Twi bent down for that morning kiss, she'd have likely vomited. That said I think I prefer this fantasy a bit more.
5973673
The idea here wasn't actually to make Twilight forward by throwing alcohol at her. If you noticed, Luna initiates everything. In this situation, the alcohol dulls her panic reflex and gives her time to think a bit rationally (ironically enough). I wanted to stress that this wasn't fueled by alcohol, but rather, enabled by it, and I really hope that came across.
5974012
See, I don't actually drink myself, so anything involving alcohol in my stories will probably lean more towards fantasy than reality xD
Glad you enjoyed it.
Short but sweet. I love this kind of stories, nice work
5974019 No, no, you definitely captured that feeling. But "aggressive" can mean wildly different things depending on the character involved. Twilight initiating sex at all, when she wasn't aware that Luna was hoping for just that, counts as pretty forward of her, I think. Although I think I made a bad word choice when I said "drunk Twilight". Maybe "tipsy Twilight"? Alliteration makes everything better.
5973703
You can't judge a story based on those similar which have gone before, because it is not those stories, only sharing similar premise. A story MUST be judged by its own merits or you have failed in criticism.
5973863 which this story didn't.
5976522 read the comment again...
After reading the description, Aploosa is only a year old in the series. How can it have a vintage anything?
5977638
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
5977638
They brought it with them, it's still vintage, even if it's not original to the town, or there have been a very few ponies here and there in the area that just recently chose to make it a proper town
You can has review!
This was enjoyable short and sweet. Twilight dealing with her hangover while trying to figure things out in a mental check-list was fun and fit her well.
What was the haybale thing in the beginning? I'm gonna feel dumb when its explained....
Oh, and looks like I'm viewer #2000
6189058
She was about to sleep when Luna delivered her literal hay to hit. The story itself pokes fun at literal interpretations of idioms. I'll give you the satisfaction of putting one and three together :P.
6189118
Oh.
Yeah, I feel like an idiot now.
Saw this in the collab and followed your link over here, read The Moon's Embrace first then read this one.
It was nice in the collab and the extra words here make it even better.
Speaking of better I see you recovered from you near terminal case of "lavender unicorn syndrome" from The Moon's Embrace, which is great.
I think I'm going to be keeping my eyes on you to see what else you come up with. *Makes the "I'm watching you" finger to eyes motions before slinking off into the shadows.*
6365646
I was hoping you might decide to read this one to get the comparison. Glad you enjoyed it, and it's good to get confirmation that what I felt was a marked increase in writing quality wasn't just in my head.
Somewhere down the line I'm going to publish the first few chapters of this novel length Chryslight adventure fic I've been working on, but there should definitely be more Twiluna shorts published in the interim, either on my own profile or as part of the the collab. I think Twilight effectively making herself a space goddess to chase pursue a Luna trapped beyond the edge of the universe has some room for expansion.
6365700
Well, the improvement was all in your head, that's where the words come from in the first place after all.
I'm an equal opportunity shipper, no matter how sea worthy said ship may or may not be I'll read it.
That said I've got a soft spot for Twilight/Luna and Twilight/Chrysalis, any Twilight ship really. But I'm not the sort of person that has "the one ship" sort of mentality.
Also
you doubled a word meaning there.
6365750
Uhh... No I totally meant to say it like that. People say 'chase pursue' all the time. Everywhere I go I hear people saying that. I'd even dare to suggest that it might rank amongst the top ten most popular two word phrases of all time. It's like, if you want something, you chase after it. Or sometimes, you'll even pursue it. But if you really want something, and I mean, really, really, REALLY want something, then you'll chase pursue it. You get what I'm saying? Does my drift come through clear?
Okay I'm dumb I admit it.
6365786
It's not something I've ever heard listened anyone say speak before so I was unaware oblivious that it was a common typical saying phrase!
You learn something new every day!
And why would being unable to speak have any bearing on this?
Okay this was funny and freaking adorable and omg that last line by Luna was one of the most beautiful lines I've ever read and I loved it!
6369470
Glad you enjoyed.
Truth be told, I am very proud of that last sequence with Luna.
This was funny and absolutely magnificent. Definitely right up there in the Twiluna I've found. :)