When Luna asked Twilight for help adapting to the modern Equestrian language, Twilight was quick to agree. She was happy to call Luna her friend, but royal duties between the both of them typically dictated that their visits were few and far between, and any opportunity to see the Lunar diarch on a less formal basis was okay in her books. Helping Luna understand the convoluted idioms Equestrians love to create seemed like great fun anyway. She just... She hadn't expect Luna to be that out of date. Fortunately, Twilight's not a pony to back away from a challenge, and a vintage bottle of Manehattan Vintage Marelot is all the reinforcement she needs to enjoy giving the lessons and ignore the inevitable headaches to follow.
Originally written for the TwiLuna prompt collab, but I decided to expand it to its own story (also, the collab was dead).
Huge thanks goes out to my awesome proofreader Absolution for putting up with my shit and arguing with me over a lot of things. Even if we ended up not agreeing on most things, those discussions led to a lot of different changes which this story is very much the better for.
~sex tag to be safe, nothing really explicit
Coverart from illuminatiums.
Featured on the 12th of May :D
Hm, this was alright.
5967230
Ju-
Jus-
Just alright?
Not... Outstandingly perfect?
:(
Well, I liked it.
Intriguing.
That was sickeningly adorable.
Error in description. You must be exterminated.
Cute story.
5969221
Well... you see...
Umm...
It was a reference to the challenge presented by all forms of paperwork associated with ruling Equestria?
EDIT: Apparently I'm featured when you turn off the mature filter. That's pretty cool. Now to go kick some clopfics off the front page and be featured for real?
Nicely done, G! Of course Luna knew exactly what she was doing.
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Have an extra like to help you on your journey.
I was hoping that this would have more focus on the whole language thing...
When I see the cover art to this story the first thing that comes to mind are four words.
GIVE ME THAT ASS.
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I can understand that. What's important to note is that this thing spawned from the prompt "Making out" on the collab, so the focus was... well obviously on that aspect of the story. I could have added more to the beginning to develop the aspect of the story, but every time I tried I was just incredibly unhappy with the effect it had on the pacing, and I came to the conclusion that if I wished to focus more on the language lessons I'd have to rethink the story from the ground up, and that would mean sacrificing the charm of the middle and end. It's possible I'd like to further explore those lessons in the future as a sidestory or something, but right now I'm putting my effort towards a much larger project that I'm looking forward to posting here within the next 4-5 weeks or so (I'm off to military training in a few days, and from what I've been told by last year's group, I should't expect computer access for 3-4 weeks).
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with me though. It's different perspectives like this that force me to think more when I shape my future works.
It was okay.
5969319 amen to that XD
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Always nice to see a TwiLuna story!
The initial descent into drunkenness and sex felt too fast to me. Like the entire first segment was just to get to the nice scene at the end of the second instead of it's own scene. It probably would have felt better if the first scene was expanded more and slowed down, or the set up explanation was part of Twilight's thoughts in the second scene and there was no first scene.
Regardless, a nice and sweet fic.
Now that is how it's done.
Honestly, there is too little in this for it to have any impact at all. Simply too short and simple to be called good.
But credit where it's due, your writing is excellent. And I am glad I read this, mainly because Luna's last comment is so epic. I'll file that away and hope I will some day find a use for it in my own writing. If I do, you'll be the most obscure source I've ever used.
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Heh. I understand your viewpoint, and I'm glad that last statement offered some redemption. I'm looking to publish something much more substantial in the relatively near future, so hopefully you might find that to be much better.
5972668 Forgot to mention, I like sly Luna. That was cute. But I kinda came here expecting some more adorable "Luna being frustrated and clueless about expressions". I simply love when people give a little thought to expressions and words. When you get right down to it, most of our expressions seem weird without context. Kicking the bucket? Yes, it makes some sense, but not much. And that is just one among hundreds.
I'll keep an eye on you.
I like the idea of forwards drunk Twilight and shy sober Twilight.
5973673 That trope is overly done though... and that is usually what happens in real life as well... it's not an interesting or fresh concept. I must have read at least 20 stories with the exact same concept just with Fluttershy -_-
5973703 Overused ideas can be approached from different directions to give them new life again.
In reality, if Twi bent down for that morning kiss, she'd have likely vomited. That said I think I prefer this fantasy a bit more.
5973673
The idea here wasn't actually to make Twilight forward by throwing alcohol at her. If you noticed, Luna initiates everything. In this situation, the alcohol dulls her panic reflex and gives her time to think a bit rationally (ironically enough). I wanted to stress that this wasn't fueled by alcohol, but rather, enabled by it, and I really hope that came across.
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See, I don't actually drink myself, so anything involving alcohol in my stories will probably lean more towards fantasy than reality xD
Glad you enjoyed it.
Short but sweet. I love this kind of stories, nice work
5974019 No, no, you definitely captured that feeling. But "aggressive" can mean wildly different things depending on the character involved. Twilight initiating sex at all, when she wasn't aware that Luna was hoping for just that, counts as pretty forward of her, I think. Although I think I made a bad word choice when I said "drunk Twilight". Maybe "tipsy Twilight"? Alliteration makes everything better.
5973703
You can't judge a story based on those similar which have gone before, because it is not those stories, only sharing similar premise. A story MUST be judged by its own merits or you have failed in criticism.
5973863 which this story didn't.
5976522 read the comment again...
After reading the description, Aploosa is only a year old in the series. How can it have a vintage anything?
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Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
5977638
They brought it with them, it's still vintage, even if it's not original to the town, or there have been a very few ponies here and there in the area that just recently chose to make it a proper town
You can has review!
This was enjoyable short and sweet. Twilight dealing with her hangover while trying to figure things out in a mental check-list was fun and fit her well.
What was the haybale thing in the beginning? I'm gonna feel dumb when its explained....
Oh, and looks like I'm viewer #2000
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She was about to sleep when Luna delivered her literal hay to hit. The story itself pokes fun at literal interpretations of idioms. I'll give you the satisfaction of putting one and three together :P.
6189118
Oh.
Yeah, I feel like an idiot now.
Saw this in the collab and followed your link over here, read The Moon's Embrace first then read this one.
It was nice in the collab and the extra words here make it even better.
Speaking of better I see you recovered from you near terminal case of "lavender unicorn syndrome" from The Moon's Embrace, which is great.
I think I'm going to be keeping my eyes on you to see what else you come up with. *Makes the "I'm watching you" finger to eyes motions before slinking off into the shadows.*
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I was hoping you might decide to read this one to get the comparison. Glad you enjoyed it, and it's good to get confirmation that what I felt was a marked increase in writing quality wasn't just in my head.
Somewhere down the line I'm going to publish the first few chapters of this novel length Chryslight adventure fic I've been working on, but there should definitely be more Twiluna shorts published in the interim, either on my own profile or as part of the the collab. I think Twilight effectively making herself a space goddess to chase pursue a Luna trapped beyond the edge of the universe has some room for expansion.
6365700
Well, the improvement was all in your head, that's where the words come from in the first place after all.
I'm an equal opportunity shipper, no matter how sea worthy said ship may or may not be I'll read it.
That said I've got a soft spot for Twilight/Luna and Twilight/Chrysalis, any Twilight ship really. But I'm not the sort of person that has "the one ship" sort of mentality.
Also
you doubled a word meaning there.
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Uhh... No I totally meant to say it like that. People say 'chase pursue' all the time. Everywhere I go I hear people saying that. I'd even dare to suggest that it might rank amongst the top ten most popular two word phrases of all time. It's like, if you want something, you chase after it. Or sometimes, you'll even pursue it. But if you really want something, and I mean, really, really, REALLY want something, then you'll chase pursue it. You get what I'm saying? Does my drift come through clear?
Okay I'm dumb I admit it.
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It's not something I've ever heard listened anyone say speak before so I was unaware oblivious that it was a common typical saying phrase!
You learn something new every day!
And why would being unable to speak have any bearing on this?
Okay this was funny and freaking adorable and omg that last line by Luna was one of the most beautiful lines I've ever read and I loved it!
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Glad you enjoyed.
Truth be told, I am very proud of that last sequence with Luna.
This was funny and absolutely magnificent. Definitely right up there in the Twiluna I've found. :)