Chapter 8: Fetch Doggie! (Unedited)
POV: Leon
Here we were now. In front of the cave entrance. A large footprint the only thing that hinted at the once large-sized dragon that had occupied this cave. We were standing a good minute or two there, staring in awe at my handiwork. I briefly considered if this technique was viewed as cheating and would lead to an absence of precious EXP.
I shrugged, nothing I could do about it now.
My little dragon seemingly found just in that moment his ability to speak again, his expression was still one of surprise and dumbstruckness.
Yup, still coining words. I’m the coining words master!
“I thought you would abandon me. But you all had this planned from the beginning! You just wanted to confuse him to find a way out of the cave, so that you could use your spell on him, without him collapsing the cavern!”
The dragon’s voice had a lot of awe and cheerfulness by the end of his conclusion of my great master plan.
Admittedly not really what I had planned. Or it isn’t like I had any other plan, other than letting him eat Fizzle to get away myself, so… not really what I had planned at all, even though it was brilliant… Hm… This gets me thinking. What if I just play along with this? He then probably won’t ever question me again and will hang to my every word. This gives me new possibilities. I might just ditch him once I find a better dragon or use him as a distraction if things go south. I’m a goddamn genius!
“Of course! This was my grand scheme! This foolish ridiculous named dragon didn’t even stand a chance against my wit!”
And here is the gleam in his eyes again. Or is it more like a sparkling of stars? No matter what it is, he seems to buy it. Maybe now I will get the praise I deserve!
“Wow! That is so cool! And you were thinking this plan up on the spot!”
I grinned at the eagerly worshipping dragon. “Yeah, I know. I’m a fast thinker, if I do say so myself. The whole argument between us was also just a distraction to trigger my glorious plan. Additionally to that it confused the dragon so that he let his guard down and allowed our escape, which was nothing more than another trick to lead him into a trap! And now his cave as well as his treasures are mine!”
By the end of my little speech my chest puffed with confidence, as I basked in the little dragon’s praise and worshipping.
Huh. Maybe having him around isn’t going to be so bad.
“Apropos treasure. This might help my endeavor in conquering the Crystal Empire. I probably could hire some professional mercenaries with it, as well as buy some equipment and potions! Seems like the pretty pink pony princess won’t stand a chance against me now! Muhahahahaha!”
With a toothy grin, I turned around back to the cave entrance to examine my loot, but also to warm my hindquarters, ‘cause let’s face it, I’m outside in the cold, and even if the snow storm isn’t as strong as he used to be, it still didn’t change the fact that the cold could be dangerous to me.
I turned around to…scream in frustration.
“WHAT THE HELL?!” I screamed as I looked upon the buried cave entrance. I saw some claw marks on one or two of the stones, indicating that my so called master plan didn’t quite went as I hoped. And it was pretty obvious who’s fault that was.
“God dammit, Fizzle! If you hadn’t run into me, I would have been able to get the dragon a good distance away from the cave!”
The dragon meanwhile sunk his head in shame, muttering an apology. I just rubbed the bridge of my…nose, snout? Well, I rubbed it with one hoof. It somehow worked, don’t ask me how, but still… I miss fingers…
However, now I had another concern.
“Why does it have to be so cold! This is just snow much!” I giggled a little at my pun, but soon composed myself as another cold breeze washed over my clothes and fur and made me shiver.
I looked back at the moping and depressed dragon, rolling my eyes at his antics. He really is a doormat.
“We don’t have time for this! We need to stay warm, or else we might as well just skip to the ‘Game Over’ part. And since I don’t know how many life’s I have, I don’t want to test that out.”
My dragon pet adopted another confused look. Well, at least that one’s better than the depressed one.
Hold on a second… He is a dragon, so couldn’t he just make a fire to keep us warm until the small storm blows over? Might as well ask.
“Say Fizzle, is it possible for you to produce a steady flame with your breath, as some kind of campfire? It’s not like we have any wood to work with.” And it was true. We only had a landscape of mountains to our left and right, topped off with a thick layer of as-, uh, flank freezing snow.
I sighed. At the other entrance, we would have the woods in reach, but here? Actually I don’t even know where here is. Probably deep into the mountains. Too deep. Wonder if anyone lives here? Maybe a mountain town? Better put these thoughts on hold and listen to my dragon first, before I go off on a tangent again and might not even need it.
In the end I probably need it. I already saw it by the way his head sunk again.
“I can’t exactly do that. Fire uses a lot of magic and a steady stream wouldn’t hold more than two or three minutes.”
I nodded my head in response. “I see. Then we have to use Plan B.”
The dragon slightly tilted his head. “Plan B?”
“A good old-fashioned search for shelter and civilization. Do you know of any settlements here?”
The dragon sunk his head again.
This is going to be a thing now, is it?
“I’m coming from the south and know nothing of this territory.”
“What about your wings? Can you fly up and see if any shelter is nearby?”
The dragon tried to move its wings but winced upon trying to move the muscles of his left one.
“I think I strained my wing while I crashed into you.”
I groaned disappointedly. “Figures. Then let’s get moving, before we become icicles in this cold unforgiving winds.”
The dragon nodded again and followed me. The cheerfulness from earlier vanished and a slight depression seemed to take its place. Not that I could blame him. He is at the moment pretty useless.
Some time later
“I think I see something!” I scream over the suddenly worsening snow storm to my dragon pet.
In any other situation I would have been more cheerful, but now I was just desperate for shelter. The cold was slowly nagging on me and I swear I was slowly losing the feeling in my hooves. I didn’t even think I had enough feeling in them to lose it! Fizzle didn’t seem in a much better condition, but that was a given, thinking about how he said himself that he came from the south, and south definitely didn’t sound like a cold place.
“What is it?” asked my now curious dragon.
“Looks like a house to me!”
Yeah, I kid you not. There was a house against the wall of the mountain. I couldn’t make out anything more specific, even with my enchanted eyes, worsening snow storm and all, but it seemed promising.
Not to mention convenient. But that’s a game event to you.
Naturally we all but stormed to the house. It seemed to be made out of some kind of rocks. It looked like an ok build. Not so much aesthetic as it was sturdy. Probably was only meant to keep the cold out. Not that I’m going to complain now about how it looks! The cold changed my priority list in that regard.
As we stepped up to the equally sturdy looking wooden door I stopped my pet.
“You stay out of sight for now. I don’t want our potential savior or host to slam the door right in our combined snouts, or muzzles, whatever.”
And it was the best thing to do. From our conversation I could see that dragons and ponies don’t exactly live hand in hand, or in this case hoof in claw.
The dragon nodded and stepped aside so that he would stand next to the door on a wall, hidden out of sight.
I then hurriedly knocked on the door, hoping that whoever owned this place was home. I mean sure, it was a snow storm so why wouldn’t they be there? But still for all I know they could be on vacation and this was therefore meant to be a squatter event.
My thoughts were disrupted as the door swung open. Out stepped a rather bizarre creature. I mean, it was gigantic! At least a head taller than me! Maybe even two! Not to mention the abundance on fur! It was a lot longer than my coat!
This gargantuan beast started to look down at me, leveling a glare at me for some reason. I didn’t really pay it any heed. I just said the first thing that came to my mind.
“That’s a big doggie.”
Before I could even comprehend what happened, the door slammed shut loudly. I owlishly blinked at the door wondering why the huge doggie slammed it in my face.
“I think you insulted the Diamond Dog,” came the not so helpful conclusion of my pet.
I blew a raspberry at him. “Pfffft. I did do none of these things! I merely mentioned the height of it!”
My pet didn’t comment on my response further and saw it fit to keep his trap shut. So, I continued.
“There is only one explanation why it slammed the door in my face.” I then took a deep breath before letting a loud shout break free of my lungs, “RACIST!”
The door opened almost instantly and I was suddenly lifted up by my neck. The dog then proceeded to draw me close to its face, leveling a deathly death glare towards me.
My mind was meanwhile racing to comprehend the situation.
ACK! Is this some form of greeting? I better show that I’m friendly. What do dogs as a sign of affection again?
Ah, now I got it!
I then darted my tongue out as our muzzles were almost touching and licked it on its nose like a dog would do back home to others, thinking it might be a friendly greeting between dogs. I mean sniffing at the posterior or tail base wasn’t an option in my current situation. It’s posterior was unreachable.
Huh, still not a bad idea either. Better note it for later use.
But to get back, it suddenly started blushing and let out a girly shriek, which is why I will refer to it as she for now, until I get corrected or proven right, probably the latter as I know myself. SHE then dropped me suddenly and stumbled back, subsequently falling on her…flank? No. Uh…let’s just say posterior for now.
I took her behavior as a good sign and started to grin.
Now let’s seal the deal.
I reached up with my hooves to her ears, determined to give her the ear scratching of her life. Well, until I noticed something…
…I proceeded to fall to my knees.
“Oh god. Why do I have to live without fingers! From all the worse things that could happen, this is the. Worst. Possible. Thing!” I wailed.
So much to my ear scratching plan. And it was such a good one too! Ear scratching was, if I remember it correctly a show of affection you give to your pets, which these greatly enjoy if the rumors are to be believed. It also would have shown that I mean no harm, but alas it was not meant to be…
Also couldn’t be sure that I was right.
I mean I never really got a pet...
No, Leon! It is a great responsibility you can’t have one! It would only distract you from your studies! Not to mention the many hairs it would let loose in our home! The horror!
Thanks mom and dad for telling me I was irresponsible, easily distractible and stupid enough not to warrant to get a pet!
I could have taken care of it, but I never even got the chance to prove it! It was always this commanding tone of them… Do this and that, oh but whatever you do don’t have fun! Of course things got better and we made arrangements that benefited both parties, but still…
…I never got that dog.
On a side note I wouldn’t mind a hug right about now…
While I was fighting my childhood trauma, still sobbing on my knees, though not because of the missing fingers at the moment, Fizzle was watching my acting with awe. “He is putting on an utterly pathetic display to gain the sympathy of this Diamond Dog. Maybe even trying to appeal to her motherly instincts, if she is a lonely being which is possible, since she is living here. What a marvelous strategy.” I taught him the word marvelous by the way. He needs to get more eloquent, just in case he stays with me longer than planned.
However I didn’t really hear his praise as I was trapped in my state of self-pity.
The doggie meanwhile gathered her wits and stood back up. She looked down on me, her look a cross between confusion, anger and embarrassment. Her anger and embarrassment then turned into more confusion as she heard Fizzle talk and spotted him.
He waved his claw awkwardly at her, that idiot.
So here are we now. I on my knees wallowing in self-pity, Fizzle waving awkwardly and the still blushing dog that has no idea what exactly is going on, or how to proceed for that matter.
I could understand that. I have no idea how high the standard for crazy is around here, but it probably wasn’t high enough, if her countenance was anything to go by. Probably didn’t get much visitors either. I mean, she lived at the arse end of nowhere.
The awkward silence was finally broken as I finally got my own wit back. I was still a little depressed so my voice came out a little meek and helpless.
“Uhm…we need some shelter from the blizzard,” was my short response to my situation.
The dog seemed to mull this over for a moment before responding.
“There is a little town in that direction. It is maybe a fifteen minute march,” She pointed to her right. “You two can seek there for shelter.”
“That’s too far! I will die out there in the cold before I reach it!” I exclaimed in shock and utter horror, not wanting to stay another minute out in the cold, not to mention full fifteen minutes!
“Please. We really need help,” said my little pet, as he stepped forward, giving her an adorable show as he wrapped his arms around himself and shivered.
This seemed to push her over the edge. She seemed to mull it over again and then sighed as she relented.
“Fine. I will let you stay the night,” she said, before her gaze for some unfathomable reason hardened on me, “But don’t try anything stupid!”
We both just nodded happily in sync.
“My name is Explosive by the way, short Ex.”
I immediately gained a huge toothy grin.
“You remind me of my EX!” was my oh so wistful exclamation. Wonder how much she enjoys my puns?
…
…She immediately tried to slam the door again.
“Wait! I didn’t mean it like that! Also you wouldn’t want to be responsible for our deaths, right?”
She mulled that over for a moment. I of course was quite shocked that she even considered that notion.
After noticing my aghast expression she smirked. Figures that she would be a huge jerk.
She then turned to my dragon, giving him a warm smile. She was about to converse with him, when I locked on my target.
Might as well go all the way.
Suddenly the doggie jumped high into the air, hitting her head on the doorframe and then falling on her posterior, while her cheeks flushed a deep red yet again. I took that opportunity to walk through the door and passed her.
“W-what d-do you t-think y-y-you are d-doing?!” she shouted indignantly.
I looked over my shoulder. “Just making myself at home, now that the procedures are done.”
She sat on the ground with her tail clammed protectively between her legs.
“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT! Y-YOU J-J-JUST, JUST-!”
I only blinked confusedly at her. “I what?”
“YOU JUST SNIFFED MY BUTT!”
“So?”
“SO?! WHAT THE BUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” she asked enraged and flustered.
“That was just a normal procedure. A sign of good will to show you that I mean no harm.”
She only looked at me as if I had lost my mind.
“And with that good will, I WILLed you to let me in!” I exclaimed proudly.
I could suddenly hear my dragon pet clapping from outside the door. An obedient pet. I told him to show me respect and cheer and clap for me from time to time to give me the recognition I deserve. The tough crowds nowadays are hard enough on me and I deserve a treat every once in a while.
I turned up my nose with a smug smile. “Thank you, thank you!”
Of course I wanted to see if the doggie would finally give me some recognition too, but she only tilted her head, face still red, but as confused as ever, before frowning. Seems like she finally got it.
An equally frowny frown formed on my face as I turned away from her and ventured further inside her home with an indignant huff.
“Stupid, pun hating dog,” I grumbled.
She didn’t seem to hear me, or didn’t care. But seriously, you have to be outright EVIL to hate puns! And even more so to consider leaving me out to die here! However, I had more pressing matters now.
Grumble!
I needed some nourishment to keep myself going. Funny that I feel the need to eat and drink in a dream. I mean, I was practically starving! It was so incredibly realistic! If I didn’t knew better I would really assume that I was in magical pony land with pink pony princesses and heart-shaped rainbow spouting weapons!
…
…But I knew better! So screw you brain for trying to deceive me like this!
“Come on in already Fizzle and help me to scavenge this place for food!” I hollered over my shoulder, or whatever the pony equivalent of a shoulder was.
My pet complied and walked past the still slightly stunned doggie.
We began our search on the main floor. I could see a living room to my right with a table and a few chairs, as well as a few cabinets with picture frames on it. A younger self of the doggie was on it, as well as another figure that seemed more masculine in appearance, also a dog. This dog had a more grayish fur, in contrast to the female doggie with her brown fur and orange highlights.
My glance soon wandered to the right, a moderately sized kitchen with cupboards a sink and an old stove were there. And I mean old. As I got there to examine it I found out that it has to be fired with wood! And now that I think about it…the light source here seemed to be some kind of glowing stones…or crystals? It was hard to tell with the light glaring from them and obscuring a more educated view. They also didn’t look like they were connected to any form of electricity.
Oh, god. I fear the implication this has on the sanitary. With my luck it is going to be a pit latrine! An honest-to-god pit latrine! That’s nothing more than a hole in the ground! Some might now ask if I have to use the toilet in a dream, but at this point I’m not going to exclude ANYTHING! The whole be prepared for everything schtick, even for a barby-thin pink pony princess with a heart tattoo on her flank and a husband with a girly pink magical aura.
Seriously, how he can even sustain his masculinity with such a trait is a real mystery to me.
Anyway, I also feel like I could use a bath right about know. I was sweating out there while freezing half to death. And anyone knows that it is the worst to disgustingly sweat while you are freezing your ass off. I also think my cape needs to be put in the laundry. Well, if that doggy even has one that is. I saw a cloth rack to my left as I went in, but only some belts hung there with flasks. And if this strange anthro female dog thing only wears belts she might not even have a laundry!
Yeah, I was really in a bad position right now.
Grumble!
Whatever! Food now, laundry and bath later!
“Um, I think I found the pantry.”
“Good work my loyal pet!” the dragon smiled sheepishly at me, “Now let’s see what we have here to fea-“ my words pretty much got caught in my throat as I saw pretty much…stones. Yup. A lot of the pantry was filled with stones. Sure, there was an occasional bundle of carrots, potatoes or celery thrown into the mix, but that was still kind of…underwhelming.
“Oh well, it is better than nothing,” I said nodding my head. I might somehow be able to cook something with that…if I could cook.
Stupid Joel always told me not taking part in a cooking class would bite me back in my arse.
Yeah, I ALMOST am INCLINED to agree. But only almost.
Also a shadow now towered over me. I turned around to see my doggy glaring down at me for some reason.
Seems like she finally got her marbles together again. I was almost in the most minimal of ways having a teensy bit of worry that I might have broken her. I mean, I still wanted a dog after all the years my parents denied it. And what better pet than one so large and one that can even talk at that! Yes, fate must love me to pieces!
Oh wait, she is talking. I probably should listen to what my pet has to say.
“-ouching. Do you understand?”
“…Yes, totally.”
“You didn’t listen, did you?”
“Nope!”
My pet doggy groaned rubbing her forehead with a paw.
“Just keep your hooves of my stuff…and me. Then we won’t have a problem.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound like the most inviting thing to say, but I can comply. At least if you make something yummy for my tummy. I mean I’m starving here! And I would be less fidgety if I was satisfied in that department!” I then sniffed my coat, scrunching up my face, “And a hot bath would be lovely too.”
She growled in warning as well as in annoyance, “If you want a bath, you will have to heat it yourself. I rather get back to making dinner.”
Geez. She is quite the grumpy one…wait, heating? She doesn’t mean to tell me that there is really no flowing water around here?! I mean, I don’t want to heat my bath! I just want to bath! I mean, does this mean I have to gather snow outside just so I can draw a bath then?! God! I never wondered how one could bath in the mountains without proper plumbing! How am I supposed to bath now?!
Maybe the town nearby has a bathhouse? That might be a solution. Maybe some hot springs? This would be heavenly! I could also look for some books there, but that would also mean to postpone my bath… Yeah, I’m not mentally prepared to see the nightmare that is this bathroom. Better postpone it.
With a nod to myself I wandered around, noting the fireplace I overlooked the first time. It was up and running, giving off a nice warmth and making me hum as I was drawn to it like a moth to the flame. At least without the agonizing electrocution death part.
I sat down in front of it, soaking in the incredible warmth, and enjoying it with every fiber of my being. I definitely need such a thing sometime in my future home. Just watching the fire dance around while it is warming me is quite a nice thing to have.
I actually don’t know how long I was sitting there, resting my thoughts. Could have been a bit. It was quite soothing after all, but I was eventually drawn out of it by a specific doggy.
“Dinner’s ready!” Ex had hollered, making me perk my ears up.
Yeah, I really could use some food right about now.
I all too hastily scrambled up and sprinted with all the eloquence of a gazelle to the table. Fizzle was there too already and jumped up in a chair.
Jumped up because you see…the stool was akin to a bar stool. So, it was meant for doggies height-wise and not for teenage dragons or ponies. Well, it wasn’t that high. I mean, my chin was in one line with the plushy seat, so only a small climb, but still a climb none the less.
I could also already see the steam wafting from the plates on the table. A table which of course also was a tad high. Not that it was a problem though! I totally got this!
With that thought I put my two front legs on that seat and…dunno…did something?
I was a bit confused and tried to climb, trying and flailing with my hindlegs to push myself up, while pulling with my frontlegs.
It is hard to explain really. I mean, try to climb a barstool with hooves and then we can talk.
It was rather annoying, and a real challenge so much I can tell you as I was pushing and pulling, trying every angle.
“J-Just a little!” I huffed and puffed in clear exertion as I was fighting against this truly formidable foe! I was just this close to succeeding! I swear!
My dog suddenly groaned in annoyance before I felt two furry arms slip under my forehooves and lift me into the air like a common pet!
I struggled a bit, clearly stating my discomfort at being manhandled in such a manner.
“Stay still!” she complained before smacking my rump down on the stool with a bit too much force making me whine.
“That wasn’t necessary!” I lamented with a stuck out lower lip.
The rude doggy simply snorted, “Sure,” before muttering under her breath, “Ponies.”
Yup. My doggy was totally a racist. I will have to train her. Makes me wonder if she has a leash laying around here, but then again, food first. I am way too hungry to discipline her now, so I glanced at the meal our dear doggy has cooked up.
It was a vegetable…stone soup? Wait…soup stones? I think I have heard that somewhere once, but can’t recall where. When again, I shouldn’t worry too much about it. Sting nettle soup is a thing too after all, just as pizza stones, so there are weirder things out there. Not to mention that the soup looked quite tasty with its large chunks of vegetables and I couldn’t wait to dig in! Though I had a problem, or maybe a question? The question in itself being quite an easy one. Well, technically that is.
How do I eat with hooves?
I looked to the other two beings at the table to see how they did it.
…I then noticed I they had fingers.
Yeah, I would have fallen to my knees wasn’t it for me sitting on a large stool like I did. Instead I tried to think on it. I mean, I could use magic.
…Which would probably destroy this home. Yeah, not an option. I remember the last time I tried a levitation spell.
COUGH! Crystal Spa. COUGH!
…Anyway, so I had to count on my wits to solve this mystery.
I looked at the spoon lying on the table, before reaching out with my hoof, hovering it over it, and then trying to grab it.
It didn’t work.
I was pawing at it. Again and again. But the spoon wasn’t moving. It was just mocking me! Silently laughing at me! I could practically hear it! By the tenth try I was glaring all too heatedly at the utensil that was blocking me from satisfying my painful stomach growls.
A cough draw my attention, making me notice that both Ex and Fizzle were looking at me in clear confusion.
“Stop looking at me! It’s not my fault that I’m not really in tune with my magic as of now and that I can’t seem to actually hold anything with these useless stumps!”
My female canine pet raised a questioning or maybe even a sceptic brow! Does she mock me?!
I crossed my hooves in a show of clear displeasure at her disrespect, while at the same time turning my head away from her and up in the air. Which kind of rhymes by the way. But the more important thing was that I was thinking that I might as well give her the silence treatment! You know, to show her!
Much to my disappointment she didn’t seem to care as my eye glimpsed a look at her.
She was still staring at me…which might be because my stomach was growling every ten seconds in a fierce protest to be filled.
This went on for another half a minute before she stood up with a sigh and walked right by my side.
I raised a questioning brow before I saw her take the spoon, before dunking it into the soup on my plate, gathering vegetables on it just as well as the soup, before lifting it again and bringing it closer to my impeccable face.
Realization dawned on me, and like one would accept, I acted all too mature.
I turned my head away with a manly huff, “I can eat myself. Thank you very much!”
“Don’t be stubborn. I doggynally would prefer to get this done so I can get back to my own plate.”
“I refuse! I’m not getting fed by another being! I couldn’t possibly survive the disgrace!”
“Just accept my help!” she irritatedly grumped out.
“NO!”
I of course vehemently protested as she neared with the spoon yet again. I mean, do I look like a foal?!
“I’m no foal!” I quite eloquently countered her attempts, making her growl in annoyance.
“You are sure behaving like one! Either you start opening your muzzle, or I will annoy you with choo choo noises until you do!”
I gasped in clear indignation, “You wouldn’t dare!”
“I dare and I would! So open up!”
My gaze wandered to the spoon, to the displeased face of my rude host, before settling on the spoon again, thinking about my non-existent options. After letting out a defeated sigh I relented. Opening my muzzle hesitantly as I felt a spoon of soup being fed to me by my doggy.
I was certain my blush only deepened with each spoon, especially as my dragon pet stole glances between us, while I always ended his glances with a fierce glare. That sadly of course didn’t deter him from peeking every now and then.
I think I was never more embarrassed in my entire life.
…The soup was still tasty though.
Also really helped with warming one up.
Nevertheless I was quite relieved when the bowl finally was emptied and I was thoroughly fed.
After the deed was done I couldn’t help but give my doggy a thankful as well as embarrassed smile.
Surprisingly enough she scratched her cheek with one of her paw-fingers and looked in a different direction, seemingly uncomfortable with the face I made at her.
Not that I couldn’t agree with her.
God, I hope I don’t get soft. But maybe it was simply the exhaustion of this rather eventful day.
I mean let’s recap: Run over by a train, dancing in front of a filly, fighting and running from guards, smashing with my ball into the unmanly pink-laser guard. Not that his lasers helped him in stopping the inevitable. Then I met the Nerd Princess, who was the most terrible role model to ever exist on this plane of existence. The plane of existence hereby being my brain. Escape with the ball, where I have to mention just how straining it is to use with a full stomach. Steal a train, get attacked by a conductor, walk through a snowstorm, make a dragon pet, flee from a ridiculously named dragon before spectacularly defeating him and then again snowstorm walking until I got here and made another pet.
God, it did take quite a while for me to list everything. Dream days have to be really long for that all to occur on the same day. But at least I was certain that it was night. The clouds with the snowstorm might have clouded my view from a starry night sky, but I knew it was night.
Yawn!
Mainly because of that yawn right now. I felt like actually sleeping on that stool, but shook my head considering a bed, no matter how unluxurious and primitive it is, is still better than a stool.
You know this makes me actually wonder if I can dream in a dream. Inception! Or was that the right term?
Shaking myself out of this thought I let out another small yawn before slowly getting out of the stool, making sure not to faceplant. I stumbled a bit, but still managed.
Ex was even standing there, ready to catch me. That was really irritating. But I ignored it, my exhaustion and sleepiness overtaking my annoyance.
“So, where is the bed?” I asked, hoping against hope that she actually has heard of beds before! I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t.
She led me to a door without complaint, opening it and showing me stairs down to the basement.
Stairs…Just for you to let it sink in.
“Do you need he-“ she wanted to ask but I raised a hoof interrupting her.
“I will be fine,” I simply reassured.
I beat a fully grown dragon! I will beat these stairs!
With that I took a confident step downwards! It was a great triumph! I moved one hoof after another! And things actually seemed to go rather well! I was beating the stairs! I made them succumb to my will! MUAHHAHAHAHHA!
…Yeah, maybe I’m laying it on a bit thick with the whole villainy thing, but hey, you can never get enough practice!
I was about halfway down when...a weight suddenly pushed me from behind and overhead.
That weight being my own plot.
…Yeah. My plot suddenly got airborne. Don’t ask me how it happened. Just know that it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
AH!
OOF!
OW!
OOF!
OOF!
And with that I pretty much landed down there, groaning in clear discomfort. That hurt maybe even a bit more than the hoof to the face.
While I was squirming in some pain the doggy actually hefted me up to tuck me in. Not that I noticed, though I noticed then I was laid on something soft. I managed to see Ex roll her eyes at me before leaving. I wanted to sass her back for this transgression, but simply huffed as the pain dulled to an uncomfortable throb, letting me enjoy the softness that was a bed.
Yeah. Laying there was definitely the better option to try and walk after her to scold her. Even though this accident has woken me up a bit, I could already feel my wakefulness slowly slipping again. Sleep was slowly taking me, making me wonder how the day tomorrow will be. I certainly hope it will bear more results than today does. Sure, it was a good start, but one teenage dragon wasn’t enough to conquer an empire. I would need a lot more for this.
First though I needed some sweet dreams. Maybe a dream of conquering the empire, or kicking some serious pink princess plot around.
Yeah. That sounds nice…
With that last thought I drifted off, a small smile gracing my lips as my fangs all too cutely showed from the edges of my mouth.
Yeah, I can be terrifying and cute.
In any case I was quite curious what the land of dreams would offer me tonight.
I know. Chapter 6 will get out...someday. Until then I will simply progress forward.
It took me a bit to finish this chapter. It was a small part only that needs to be completed, but I finally did it and I hope you enjoy this new chapter with a new character! 
Also a new shipping character for Leon! So, it can be shipped again! 
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Cloverleaf · 18k words · 87 10 · 3.2k views
- rainbowPOOTIS · 57k words · 610 58 · 13k views
- Harquebus · 18k words · 47 3 · 1.8k views
- Murder Knight · 22k words · 149 10 · 3.5k views
- SwimmingDalek98 · 24k words · 229 15 · 5.2k views
- Kato The Green Being · 6.3k words · 98 10 · 3.2k views
- PinkFluffyAlex · 6.9k words · 263 23 · 3.5k views
- The Good Dark Lord · 3.6k words · 94 12 · 3.6k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.034 seconds
Total duration
1,077 users online
2,069,463 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Oh. Another moron who gets randomly granted powers and decides to be a villain and conquer a happy land of ponies. Because he's a complete flank-hole who treats living beings as his playthings and apparently is a reincarnation of Hitler.
The aliens from "The Day The Earth Stood Still" (the original, not the retarded environmentalist one) were correct: humans are far too violent to be permitted to leave Earth.
8324779
Not exactly. He might be a jerk, that is true, but the conquering part is mostly because he thinks it is not real. He thinks all this is in his head as he had an accident and thinks he is comatose. So he is 'playing' the villain more than anything. And he is also not treating living beings as playthings. He acts more like a jerk to some. It is kind of a trait that helps to develop his character for future chapters. So, him being an evil Sombra is more of a just for show thing. Of course he will face off against the heroes and all that, but he sees it more as a game quite often.
8324829 So all of this is going on around him... he can think FREELY. Move FREELY. Experience PAIN. Experience HUNGER. Things do not randomly pop up without proper real-world context. Indeed, NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS DREAMLIKE IN ANY WAY... and he doesn't even CONSIDER the notion that it could be real and he could be harming real people. In effect, he's in total and absolute denial of all the facts and his own senses.
I can only respond thusly:
I can only tolerate too much stupid before I decide it's time for 'unnatural selection' measures to be implemented.
8324844
Sometimes he wonders if it could be real, but it is too ridiculous for him to believe that a pink pony princess and a crystal heart shooting out destroying rainbow lights exist. So yeah, he is in denial and not necessarily the brightest. And the harm will be limited. Sure a broken bone here and there for some ponies throughout a fight, but he isn't that violent.
He just isn't a perfect character, and that makes it interesting to write him for me. There is room for improvement and his naivety is also good for some comedy aspects!
8324887 Uhm, even Forrest Gump wasn't THIS disassociated from the reality of his own life.
This is more than just plain denial, this is pathological self-delusion. The sense of denial in anyone with even a remote trace of common sense and analytical thought would quickly realize there is no possible way this COULD be a dream after a rather short time. And once the denial is broken and reality comes crashing down, this is going to result in a total mental meltdown. The more severe the denial, the more mental trauma results when the denial is finally breached.
8324939
Might be that no normal human actually would be that much in denial. It is hard to tell since we don't have the possibilities to send humans to Equestria to test that theory out. But that is only a minor problem in my opinion since up until now he seems to be believable. At least I got no complaints from my readers yet regarding this topic. And yes, there will be a moment when he breaks down as realization hits him. It will be a crushing experience for him, but he will have good friends and even a certain shippable character to support him all the way through it!
As a side note, it is also nice to have such a discussion. It is always good to respond to critique after all!
8324959 It simply can't last for very long. Other stories have let this exact thing drag on for days and sometimes even WEEKS within the story, and even patient readers eventually realized it was absurd for the character not to realize something was very wrong with their supposition after such a long time.
8324989
I personally would see it as a way for him to protect himself. He subconciously denies it so as not to be confronted with the pain that would follow. He might deep inside already know the truth but just not realize it until everything is blowing up so to say.
The story pretty much builds up on him thinking it is not real and 'playing' the villain. So it is an integral part of it. Without this one thing the story wouldn't work the way it does. I suppose it would be more believable if he couldn't feel things like pain and therefore makes it for him more believable that thinks are not real. Though it also would complicate matters. I guess it is kind of an experiment to see if things can work out the way they are now. And until know they do. I don't know if readers will criticize this point in the future. I just have to see. For now it will have to do.
But you are right in a way. I probably should have more looked into this from the beginning.
8324989
I find this fic entertaining because it is so absurd. Most of the fic's that uses the dream path is "Sol" or "adventure" fic's that are to prim and proper to make it work, here it work because it is fun to read the stupidity he gets himself into because he thinks it is fake and have no true or lasting consequences . (who would lick and sniff a dog almost twice their size if they were in use of their complete faculties)
Sometime in the future he will realize that everything that has happen was true and not a dream, probably when he conquers the empire and goes "now what, I won so should i not start to awaken !?". To me he has passed the "I am dreaming stage" and entered the whole "denial/insanity stage" and need a honest and brutal restart in the form of the world continuing when he achieves his goals. because everything else will probably only continue his madness.
And honestly to debating human morality with someone that is insane or mad is a bit off. In his view everything is a lie so why should he care about it more then it is entertaining or how it could further his goals, I mean when you play a video game you don't run up and hug the raider or tray to talk to him when he try's to take your head of with a spade. have you never played the Fallout 3 game and detonated the nuke because, why the hell not , it is a game and you want to see all of the content ? .
Great chapter
Sombra is bae
8325081 The problem is, the denial is so stupid, counterintuitive and just plain WRONG in every possible way... there is no way this idiot is ALSO a tactical genius who could so much as manage to conquer an army of babies!
He doesn't know ANYTHING about ANYTHING, which is abundantly clear in the story! I could take him out AS I AM, completely mortal and human!
The only thing believable is that he fails horribly and the shock FINALLY snaps him out of the delusion.
And no, I have not played "Fallout 3" or ANY games in the past 20 years. Most games I don't find the least interesting. Either they take far too much of my time or they're just plain boring.
8325377
Sometimes the hardest thing to catch is someone that goes against all logic and reason. So say you are a battle hardened commander what do you do?. Obviously the thing most logical because 80% off the time that is what works, now our demented friend does not care about logic or reason so he will get off on pure luck and stupidity. How do you plan for that?
Have you ever played a table top game when the player you are playing against does something so stupid it actually works?, it happen to me all the time.
And denial, yes it is moronic but that is how the mind works, take all the parents that have lost children they cant let go because to admit their child is gone is to much for them to bare. When confronted with something that is impossible it falls back on what it already knows. So lets see a new world, magic, new sentient creatures, impossible physics and you have no idea how you got there. Yee if that is not a recipe for madness and denial i don't know what is.
the first instinct would probably be to say its not real but after a couple of hours I could see that the person could fall into some sort of delusion and madness.
Why should him failing snap him out of his delusion?, it is only a small part of the rode to success most good games have elements of suffering or hardship to tray and cement the feel of real life were nothing is for free and you have to fight for what you have. if it goes far enough he will probably believe that some in-game cinematic or event will save him in the nick of time, or the the game will reload from the last checkpoint. why?. Because madness does not have rime or reason. It is like ppl explaining magic with well, its magic.
I would imagine that if he even succeeded at taking over the empire, he would be just like Rick was when he made a shop, he got bored and let it on fire.
8325453
Yes, when that person is acting anonymously and striking at random. Then you have no idea who it could be. Such as was the case with, say, the Zodiac Killer or Jack the Ripper.
When the person is out in the open and making grand movements, it's VERY easy to find them and take them out.
For instance, Kim Jung Un is acting contrary to all logic and reason. The only reason he's not a bloody smear in the rubble of his palace is we have to worry about China's response if we just blow him the hell up. The ponies don't have that issue regarding Sombra. He's trying to take over an empire. That's going to be rather difficult to do secretly.
8324779
good guys not welcome
8325377
8325599
Your objection does make sense in a way, but of course I have things planned. I know that he himself can't take over the empire. Even if he manages to learn to control his power perfectly the crystal heart would still be quite the hindrance. But the thing is that he is not going to do it alone. He will gather all kinds of people around him, each with their own skills. If he is not smart enough to make a plan, another of his followers can simply step in and make one. The only thing he has to fear is the crystal heart in the crystal empire, just as the two rulers and some guards. It is possible to win this with the right people and the right plan. Some plan along the lines of 1. Stealing the Crystal Heart 2. Knocking out the rulers, and so on can work out. They wouldn't expect one as forceful as the King to actually try things stealthily. A simple distraction here and the plan could start by stealing the heart.
We learned that someone like Discord can be helpless in a changeling hive, so a plan to take over the empire is possible in comparison.
8325168
Bae?
8326357 This brings up the exact problem I had with "Fight Club": yes, the whackjob is far too stupid and insane to succeed on his own... so he needs competent people. Problem: why would competent people agree to be led by someone clearly stupid and insane when they could obviously do much better on their own? Or better yet, challenge the loon in a fight and take him out while he's arguing with his hallucination. Then YOU become leader.
It's a similar situation here.
Most nuts only attract other nuts unless they have an established base of power, and usually this only occurs when there is a power vacuum or a system has become so corrupt and untenable that enough people are grasping at anything they can find for solidarity.
I could see this guy managing to form a Manson murder cult or a Jim Jones-style following. But COMPETENT, INTELLIGENT people will quickly realize this guy can't lead worth a damn and is (from the reader's perspective) relying ENTIRELY on plot-contrived successes he should not be having if matters unfolded plausibly.
8326692
I already thought you would say that. But intelligence doesn't always convinces others to be followers. Charisma can be a good point to. Not to mention that he has the potential of Sombra's abilities. So, there is a starting point he can work on. A teenage dragon follows him already after he fought said dragon and then after the cave was caving in saved his life. Not to mention that he was experimenting with his powers, opening a pocket dimension and trapping accidentally a fully grown dragon in it. Yeah, he doesn't know how to control it, but he impressed the teenage dragon for a start. And that guy can develop to be quite capable along the story.
Also a few spoilers for the future characters ahead.
Anyway there is also corruption in this world. The diamond dog character mentioned in the latest chapter doesn't like ponies since she was a victim of a corrupted pony. Fighting against the world can give them a common enemy. They are both in trouble, and can get together to fight if for example some guards want to arrest them both. They escape together and he is growing on her during that time.
Then we have a unicorn who also will have troubles. He is more in for it for the fun, but also secretly since he is hiding from his family and decides if he follows along he could enjoy an interesting adventure. So he is more one that got bored enough that he jumps on this exciting opportunity to go on an adventure and travel the world.
Beast taming will also be a topic, so he will get another more beastly comrade as well.
And while we are at it I also plan for a changeling to join the ranks since he is not happy with the way things are in his hive and sees how happy the one in the groups are.
There is also one or two others planned along this list I didn't attach yet. And I also am planning to form a group more along the lines of One Piece with the Strawhat Pirates, than a murder cult. You know, a fun little ragtag group finding each other over the time of this story.
So quite a few outsiders in a way joining him for different reasons!
Ummm
Where is chapter 6?
8327163
Like I mentioned in some Author's Notes and in the comments it is still in the works. But it is an Crystal Empire chapter, so not really about Leon. That is why this fic works out despite the chapter missing. I will finish it eventually. I just have a bit of trouble with it.
I also made a much bigger information now in the Author's Notes in Chapter 7, so I'm sure at least there will be less confusion about it in the future.
8326357
Bae. Girlfriend material
8329081
Huh... Interesting view. Makes me wonder what qualities you see in him that make him girlfriend material. He is a bit of an egotistical jerk after all.
8331332
He is hot and has potential character wise
8331352
True. He can develop rather nicely from his position. He just needs to gather some companions and go on some adventures. And by the end of it he might be quite the neat character!
Ex will break him before he leaves.... Just gonna predict that right now.
I imagine her looking like this.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/b5/ec/47/b5ec47aa9ee7c0374cd94f3b2c64ea58--funny-animal-pics-animal-memes.jpg
Also... When will things get real for him? The fantasy can only go so far....
I totally like Ex, and kind of hope that akward relationship continues and that him thiniing of her as a pet is the cause of some akward scene for ponies that maybe look at them and think they would be together..
Hey maybe someday he thinks of her like that, I mean he thinks this is a dream right?, or did I foget something here.
8332656
She actually looks more like Echo formwise.
cdn-img.fimfiction.net/story/p6i5-1432423695-10394-medium
Interesting, I wonder if when he wakes up will it finally sink in that this may not be a dream after all, maybe seeing his own blood by digging in with his fangs on his lips? just a thought
do you plan to continue this story?. nothing against you but all the good stories stop suddenly and take to long for another chapter and all the generic stuff often stays.
i just mean that I really want another chapter in one of my favourite stories and I remember that this was quite good and especially funny in the latest chapters.
8852906
I will. I mean, maybe I will take longer than I should but I still want this story to continue on.
REEEEEEEEEEEE
More?
We have gathered here today my fellow readers to remember what could have been. A moment of silence for this departed story taking its place among many that have ended too soon...
This concludes our afternoon prayer.
F this story. It is extremely rare to find such an extraordinary and high-quality story about falling into the hands of a villain. Almost always, such stories develop according to the same pattern: the hero falls into the hands of a villain, does some stupid thing that will create problems for him in the future, and then tries with all his might to prove that he is not a villain and is in fact good, no one or almost no one believes him, then gradually the main characters, one after another, become sympathetic to the ponies and in the end some epic battle happens, where he saves everyone, completing the arc of redemption...
It is extremely rare to find a high-quality work where the main character actually plays the villain, to find a work that departs from the standard, extremely boring formula.
And it’s incredibly sad that one of these creative works will never see a sequel.