> The new Sombra - The tale of a villain, that tries to behave... like a villain?
>  by Hoppa_21
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1: Green Isn't My Colour
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold. That’s the first thing I felt, what I can remember. It was cold. A light breeze was washing over me. I slowly opened my eyes and tried to recall the events that had happened. I think, I had an accident with my bike. I let out a frustrated sigh.

“Just. Fucking. Great. The bike was new.” I remembered when I bought it. It had such a nice, red, majestic colour. “Well, maybe it is not in such a bad shape. And maybe with some luck I’m not in such a bad shape either.”

I then noticed the cloudy sky and the snow that was falling on me. No wonder I was feeling numb. But it was still a little strange.

“Snow? A bit early. I mean it is August!” I chuckled lightly. “Fucked up weather. Probably global warming, but can global warming even cause snow in summer? I mean, it is technically called warming. Whatever, I should better stand up and look for my bike.“

I lifted my head up a bit and was utterly confused. I didn’t see the town or streets or my bike for that matter. What I could see was a landscape covered in snow and some mountains in the distance. It was strange that the environment shifted so drastically.

“Where am I?“ I asked out loud.

As I tried to stand up and use my hands to support my movement, I noticed something. Or I noticed, rather, the lack of something. My face blanched as I slowly lifted my arm in front of my eyes. My blood drained from my face. A stump.

“FUCK NO. A STUMP!“ I said quite panicked as I snapped. “I AM FUCKING MAIMED! GOD, NO! PLEASE NO! OH GOD!“

It took me a while to calm down and fully comprehend the situation I was in, or could you really comprehend something like this? Let’s just say, that I at least tried to understand it.

After I calmed down a little, I stood up and soon noticed some other changes. All my limbs were stumps and I was covered in grey fur. And I somehow had other clothes. A majestic red cape, which hardly covered everything it needed to cover.

I slowly tried to puzzle all the pieces together and then had an idea.

“This isn’t real. I just ended up in a hospital, probably in a coma. This must be what they call a lucid dream, right? Wouldn’t be the first time I had a dream about other dimensions. I can clearly remember my last one.“

I let out a dreamy sigh at the memory. I was in my last dream travelling to another dimension, meeting a group of hero wizards, who led me join their group, despite me being a normal human. We arrived in something, that seemed to be a wizard school and I met the principal there. Nice guy. Old and wise, just what you would expect of an old wizard principal. Nothing out of the ordinary. Of course I was intimidated, because I was just a normal guy, but he denied that. I wasn’t a normal human, I was… and then cliff-hanger! Just before he could finish it, the clock rang! Damn that thing. It’s the worst if you wake up in the middle of an exciting dream. You can compare it to a blackout, when you are just at the highlight of a good movie. Happened to me too. Really annoying, things like that. But now back to reality. I was in a new dream world and it seemed even more realistic, than the others I had been in before! I have to admit, that I was excited about this.

I slowly examined my new body. It had grey short fur, and as I tried to make out the form of my face, I could feel a muzzle. My hair seemed to be long and black. Black and grey were at least not a bad colour combination and this combined with the red majestic cape lets me really look like I’m some big shot around here. 

“Maybe I am? The cape is at least worthy of a king.”

But first time to strike a balance. Overall I seem the be a creature with horse-like features. I also noticed something sticking out of my head.

“Is that a horn? Am I a wizard king? Or unicorn king? Hm… This might be interesting.“

I now also finally realized, that my voice had changed. “Not bad, too. Such a nice deep voice. Good to command thee! Well, as soon as I find someone to command, that is. MUHAHA! Man, that laugh is also admirable.“

I took a hero like stance. “Don’t fear fair citizens of Horsetown! Cause I, Leon the Great, the First, the Unstoppable, the Kind, the King of Horseland will protect you from all evildoers, that may appear!“

I guess it would have looked better, if I actually had some spectators or if I would have known what the country is called, that I’m reigning over, ‘cause let’s be honest here, Horsetown and Horseland is pretty lame as a wildcard.

“So maybe I should gather information,” I pondered. “But I should probably also revise these lines. If I want to be a great king, I need to express myself flawlessly. On the other hand… Would the fragments of my mind, or just the people, or uh, horses even mind such flaws?“ I thought out loud, and in my opinion it was a valid question.

I then sat on the ground. It was comfier and less awkward than standing on four hooves. I probably have to get used to it. I then slowly looked around. I noticed a city in the distance. It was radiating with light and seemed to be made out of crystals.

“Just wow. This is definitely worthy of a king. And that videogame logic! Snow falling near the city, but not inside of it! There is a huge hole in the cloud rooftop! It’s like god himself just punched a hole in it!“ 

I continued to stare at it with fascination, as a noise sounded right behind me.

Waaank!

I blanched. I turned around to hope that I was mistaking it, but as you could have expected it, I didn’t have that much luck.

“Aw, crap.“

Right in front of me was a goddamn train closing in! I acted on reflex and tried to jump out of the way, but I was too late and the train loaded me up. 

Just before it hit me I concentrated and my horn began to glow. Shadows were forming around me and they seemed to have softened the impact immensely. So at least I didn’t just go ‘Game Over‘ at the beginning.

It was certainly interesting to find out, that I could somehow control shadows. This might come in handy for fights. But now I had first to deal with a different situation, with being loaded up on a train and all.

Let me say this: The pressure of the air was overwhelming! Almost reminded me of riding my bike, only difference was that this train was a lot faster than it and the air pressure was therefore a lot stronger.

I tried to get a good hold on the train before taking a look to see where it headed. Seems like this train brought me straight to my destination. Convenient, though I have to admit that I’m still going to give the conductor a hell of a complaint for just running me over like that and not even stopping afterwards.

With nothing else to do, I waited. I of course didn’t have to wait too long, since I my destination was already near.

I jumped off, as soon as the speed died down and entered the station. 

I only took a brief look at the train. It was made out of Crystals, just like the station and the houses in the town. I really like the design, but I had a certain conductor to talk to. I couldn’t just let him run over everyone who was accidentally standing on the tracks. I’m going to give him a piece of my mind.

I pounded in an upset manner on the door, not even trying to hide my temper.

“Get your a-, uh… what was it called again? Argh! Forget it, just get out here!“

The conductor soon opened the door with an annoyed look on his face. As soon as he saw me it faded and his face blanched. I was slightly confused by this, especially as he started stuttering some incomprehensible stuff.

Before I could even react, he shut the door closed and suddenly drove off with the train!

“Hey! You know, this is a clear case of hit and run!“ I yelled as the train started to move. A second later I noticed something severe. I was dragged along with it! My long hair was stuck in the damn door.

“HELL, NO! STOP!“ I shouted as I ran next to the train and tried to get my hair out of the door.

I hastily stood with my two hindlegs on the train door and tried my best to use my forelegs to yank my hair out of there. The lack of fingers didn’t really help my grip on the hair and I grunted in annoyance.

But luckily for me, I was able to pull my hair out of the door quickly and tumbled to the ground. I at least landed right in the meadow. Don’t want to imagine this landing on stone, but I still groaned. Landing is landing and this wasn’t the softest landing either.

I gathered myself, as I stood up. At least I was still in the city. It would have sucked to get dragged out of town by the train and its crazy conductor!

“I will get you for this. I will write down your number!” I shouted after him, before wondering, “Do trains even have numbers? God dammit! Best I just forget it. This is just a dream after all. No need to get upset over something like that.“

As I turned around to walk into the city, I saw two ponies staring at me in shock.

“Have I something on my face?“ I asked in a slightly annoyed manner. I probably can’t say that I’m always in full control of my temper. I mean, I was interacting now with the characters of this game. Couldn’t hurt to be nice to them. They could be helpful in the future. Oh and yeah, I prefer to refer to this as a game. Kind of reminds me of one, because of its atmosphere. I think I will soon get my first quest.

Meanwhile, the two horses ran away screaming and panicking. I just tilted my head, confused.

“I don’t think my manners caused that. Well, I should probably still act nicer, if I want to get on their good side. But maybe they are disturbed by something else. Could it be my looks? Would at least explain the conductor’s behaviour.”

My eyes wandered, meanwhile, to the city and I could see a small pond not that far away from me.

“Might as well check the rest of my look. And maybe I could practice my great entrance there too,“ I shrugged. Better than standing around and whining about my failure of interacting with the citizens.

“Well, I can still get a hang of this. I mean, not all of these horses are probably that fast panicking, or at least, that’s what I hope,” I said, as I started walking. And let me tell you this, it is not easy to switch from two legs to four. I had to walk slowly, to get the hang of this.

I slowly approached the pond and looked over its edge. I was fascinated by what I saw. Armor, crown, horn, eyes…

“Hey there, good looking. Man, not bad, I look like a real badass! I mean, just wow! This nice red colour of my horn, with the armour, the cape, the red pupils and my colour scheme is just great! Only one thing I can’t quite agree with...“ I mused. 

“Green instead of the white of normal eyes? Green isn’t my colour. I probably could poison people just by glaring at them! No wonder they were scared.“ I then tilted my head to the side. ”And the fog radiating from them doesn’t make it better. Can I even look sympathetic like this?“

I tried to put on my best smile and then found something rather interesting. ”Are those fangs?“ I licked with my tongue over them. “Yep, definitely fangs. I look more like a predator, than a hero. Maybe I’m a dark hero?”

I stood up determined. “Then let’s start the dark hero theme of Axel, White Tiger!” I hummed the theme song of one of my favourite game characters contently, as I struck some poses, while playing an air guitar.

I suddenly stopped as I noticed a little filly in front of me. Her jaw dropped and her eyes were wide.

I blushed slightly, but shoved the embarrassment back to lower myself to her eye level. Might at least try to make a good impression on that little one.

“Hey there little one,” I said with a smile. Somehow it didn’t seem to put her mind at ease. “Let me introduce myself,” I continued as I stood up, “I am the great King Leon, the dark hero, avenger of the innocent, terror of every villain’s dreams, master of the shadows and pizza lover!” I struck a dramatic pose, as I stood up on my hindlegs, moving my body to the side, while leaning one ha-, I mean hoof at my hips, while the other pointed triumphantly towards the sky. Would definitely look better with an index finger.

A light wind blew, as the silence between us dragged on and I was slowly feeling uncomfortable. I let out a disappointed sigh.

“It’s the green isn’t it?” I fell depressed to my knees. “WHY, OH WHY DO I HAVE TO INHERIT THESE POISONOUS GREEN EYES!? I AM A DISGRACE! I PROBABLY CANNOT EVEN GO INTO THE NEXT STORE WITHOUT A BAG ON MY HAT! THAT’S IT! I AM GOING TO THE NEXT CAVE SO THAT NO ONE HAS TO SEE THESE SHAMEFULLY GREEN EYES EVER AGAIN!”

That caused her to giggle. “So you are not that mean King? I first thought that, because you kinda look like him. Are you his twin brother?” she said wondering.

“Mean King? Twin brother? I didn’t plan to take on such roles. I thought more about being a hero or a dark hero. I’m still not sure about this, though.”

“What is a dark hero?”

“A more selfish version of a hero. Someone who tricks others and so on. It would definitely suit my dark look.”

“Is that even a hero?”

“Dunno. I never really thought about that. And I am still not sure how to act in this new form I got either. I mean, I’m technically an Alien to you horses.”

She giggled again. Just too cute. “You are strange, but I like you. And I would like it, if you would stay just like that.” she said with a cute smile.

“Hm… Dunno.”

“Please?”

“Cuteness overload! Hhhnnnggg!” I said, as I fell to the ground with my hand grabbing around my chest.

The little filly was quite shocked. “A-are you a-alright M-mister?”

I sat up, as I answered. “Sorry. You are just too cute!” I squealed. “I just lost my strength for a moment. You are more dangerous than you might think. You could easily go to the military. Not every creature can use their cuteness as a weapon!”

“I’m going to join the guard, when I’m grown up. Just like my parents.”

“Love to hear that. By the way, what is this city called?”

The little filly beamed with pride as she threw her hooves over her head. “This is the Crystal Empire!”

“An Empire? Sounds good to me. Maybe I should find the big shots around here. They will probably aid me in my quest. Or at least provide me a quest to begin with. They are in the large building in the middle, right?”

“Yeah. Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor. They are really nice.”

“Interesting. A monarchy. Thanks, you are helping me a lot. I’ll bid my farewell, then. I should keep going and I guess you should also hurry to your parents. I hope they are not worrying about you.”

She seemed disappointed but obliged after she said her goodbyes.

I then realized that I hadn’t even gotten her name. I just shrugged, since it wasn’t important.

“An interesting start.” 

At least I had a destination for now. Maybe I should keep my performance for the two rulers. This will certainly be interesting.

> Chapter 2: A Spa Treatment With Complications AND Puns
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Not a bad start. I mean besides getting run over by a train and then getting dragged along with it. I could bring that little kid to giggling and now know my destination. A classical destination. I go to the big shots and get a quest to save the world!” I cheered, as I walked along the streets. 

Nothing could really disturb my good mood right now. Not even the ponies, that were hiding from me. I just rolled my eyes.

“What is their problem? Is my look really that strange,” I pondered. “Now that I think about it, these horses all have such a shiny coat. I on the other hand, have just this normal grey unshiny coat.”

And yeah, this word is made up. Deal with it. My dream, my choice of words.

“Or I really give them a RUN for their money! You know? Because they are running?” I said to a random pony, who wasn’t running away AND didn’t seem to react at all.

I wagged my foreleg in front of his face, but he still didn’t react. “Don’t tell me he is frozen in some kind of shock? Maybe there is more to my look than I thought. Are Unicorns all tyrants? Maybe even something to do with tribalism?”

I looked around and I really didn’t like it. It’s really not nice if you get left out of such a joke. I would feel better, if I had some actual information.

“Better hurry up,” I said, as I ran towards the large building in the middle.

AND I just crashed right into another pony that came out of a building on my left. I should have known.

I rubbed the sore spot on my head as I looked up. Right in front of me was a slightly muscular built Unicorn stallion, with a brown coat and dark grey hair. He was also wearing an old duster.

His horn was in a different shape than mine. Mine was lightly curved, while his was straight, but since he was the first Unicorn I had met, I couldn’t exactly say if there were more variations of horn shapes.

“You should watch where you are going,” he said as he offered me a ha- pardon me, hoof. Probably need some time to come in grip with these terms.

“Sorry about that. I’m new around here and got a little nervous with these panicking horses around.”

I grabbed the hoof and got back on my own hooves. He had some nice sky blue eyes. I really like that colour.

“You mean ponies, don’t you? But besides that, I can understand that. These ponies are still a little jumpy.”

“Yeah, they JUMPED right into the bushes at my sight!”

The Unicorn gave a hearty laugh. Seems like I found someone with the same sense of humor. That is good. Maybe I should recruit him for my quests later. I then continued on with my chatter.

“So these are all ponies, then? Good to know. But I’m still wondering, are they afraid of every Unicorn here?”

“Well, they may feel a bit uneasy near one. There was once this evil King with the ideal of a Unicorn master race. He had only Unicorn guards and the normal Crystal Ponies were all enslaved. So this behavior can be expected.” The Unicorn looked dreamily to the large tower in the middle. “But still a wonderful city. I love to spend my vacation here and let me tell you, the crystal mud bath is unsurpassable! I can highly recommend it, since I just tried it out,” he said, as he tilted his head to the building that he came from.

I could read the sign “Crystal Spa” in a swirly writing. It looked really fancy. Well, technically every building looked somehow fancy, I mean, they all consisted of shiny crystals! Can you think of anything fancier than that?

“I bid my farewell, then. There is still much to see and I hope you are going to enjoy your stay here as well.”

“I wish you a good vacation, Sir…?”

“Wate Ain Sea, but you can just call me Wate.”

“Nice to make your acquaintance. I’m Leon.”

“It is always nice to meet new ponies. Be safe!”

And with that he turned and left in the direction of the large building in the middle.

“Nice guy. Hopefully I will see him again.”

I then stared at the spa in front of me and mused, “Maybe I should try it out, while I’m here. Maybe there is even a key event in here, since he was trying to convince me to go in there.”

I slowly stepped in and looked around. There was a counter on the left side, with a ‘Pony’, better get used to that term, standing behind it. I could also see a Unicorn mare in the edge of the room laying on her belly, as another pony massaged it. 

“Maybe I should take one of these, too,” I uttered as I slowly approached the counter.

The pony on the counter frowned and seemed quite shocked as well. Seems like it is really bad to be a Unicorn around here, since this evil King seemed to have done quite a number on them.

I waved in a friendly manner as I stood in front of her. “Hey there! I wondered if I could try out the crystal mud bath.”

No reaction. Maybe I should try something else. I began to smile wide, trying to show her my best smile, but she somehow shrunk back as I was doing it. I frowned.

“Ohhhhh. Right… It’s the fangs, isn’t it? That makes my smile probably seem more like a threat,” I laughed nervously. Didn’t like the silence one bit.

Maybe I should try a different approach.

“I really need a bath. Or maybe I could SPAray myself with some deodorant, if you have some! Get it? SPA-ray?” I smiled widely at her and my eyes were beaming with anticipation, but somehow this didn’t put her mind at ease either, since she just cowered behind the counter.

“Tough crowd,” I complained. 

“Or bad pun,” muttered the mare in the edge of the spa. It was the one that was given the massage a minute ago. She was now sitting on the cot.

I glared at her. It was a Unicorn mare with a pale yellow colored coat and an orange hai- or mane, if I want to finally put it correctly. Those new terms are really confusing.

“You just have no sense of humor,” I stated flatly and huffed, before turning back to the counter, but the pony wasn’t there anymore.

“Great. What now?” I asked, slightly confused.

“I don’t know. You even scared off my masseuse!” came a complaint behind me.

I sighed. “Wo-Mares…” I tried my best to blend her out as I considered my next steps.

I turned around and saw the mud baths right there next to the massage section. There, the complaining mare huffed.

“Might as well…” I said as I slowly tried to take my cape off, but that wasn’t so easy. Hooves aren’t that HANDy! HANDy, get it?

“What in the name of Celestia are you doing?” I heard the mare saying. She seems somehow surprised by my attempts.

“Trying to get my cape of, so that I can take a bath,” I stated flatly.

“Use your HORN!” She nearly shouted, frustrated.

“Oh of course! Why didn’t I think of that?” I tried to use the horn as a hook to drag it off me, but it somehow didn’t work.

The mare meanwhile facepal- uhm, I mean facehooved. “You are kidding, right?”

I just gave her a confused look.

“Just use a levitation spell! Look here, like this!” she said as she levitated a towel from one of the shelves.

“Ohhhh.”

I then concentrated strongly on the cape, to see if it would work. Dark sparks erupted from my horn and suddenly a large crystal erupted from beneath me. I fell right from the peak of the crystal as it rose higher and higher and landed in the crystal mud bath.

I gasped for air as I tried to get out of the mud bath, and then heard a crash as the crystal collided with the ceiling and debris fell to the ground.

“Oopsies.” I then glared at the mare. “You didn’t tell me that something like this could happen!?” I yelled at her, quite shocked.

“AS IF THIS WAS MY FAULT! HOW CAN ANYPONY FAIL LIKE THAT AT A SIMPLE LEVITATION SPELL!” she yelled back even louder.

“YOU SUCK AT TEACHING!” I yelled back in the same volume.

“THIS IS A BASIC SPELL THAT DOESN’T EVEN NEED TEACHING! EVEN LITTLE FOALS CAN DO THAT!”

I blinked in surprise. “Seriously?”

She just nodded in a huff.

“Guess I’m starting this game from level zero then.” I sighed. Normally I had better control of my abilities in my dream. I once had a dream of flying and I could control this ability quite well. Not perfectly, but a LOT better than this one. I mean soaring crystals out of the ground? That is definitely NOT even close to what I wanted to achieve.

I looked dumbfounded at the large crystal poking out of the roof and then looked to the Unicorn mare.

“How about we split the repair expenses?”

“How about no?”

“Oh come on! You didn’t even warn me!”

“Hey listen here, Mister Creepy-Eye, no pony could have seen this coming! I mean, it almost seems like you are using your magic for the first time!”

I fell to my knees. “God, I knew it. These eyes are the worst, just like me. I should probably just lie down and die. I’m so useless…”

“Hey! I didn’t mean it like that! Just stop your pathetic whining!”

“I AM PATHETIC! I KNEW IT!” I then continued with the sobbing and whining. My eyes were a sore spot.

“By Celestia. What is wrong with this guy?”

Then suddenly the door flew open and an armored guard entered the spa. “Hold it right there, criminal scum!” shouted a feminine voice.

I looked up and saw a Unicorn mare with a turquoise coat, an aquamarine mane and light blue eyes, wearing heavy armor.

I hastily stood up and faced the Unicorn guard. “Thank god you are here! It was her!” I pointed at the pale yellow mare. “She just destroyed the ceiling and then threatened me! I was so afraid!” I held an arm on my forehead and tried my best damsel in distress pose I could muster, which was probably pretty poor, considering that I look like a ruffian. But hey, it is always worth a try! Best I continue on with it. “Please, save me!”

What should I say? Every man, or in this case stallion, for himself! She wasn’t a huge help anyway.

The jaw of the mare behind me dropped. It took her a moment, before she realized what I was pulling of and she accordingly answered with fury, “HAVE YOU GONE COMPLETELY CRAZY? THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER!”

“See? She is a real termagant! Please protect me from her!”

“YOU SELFISH BASTARD!”

I smirked at her. However, my smirk did not last for long, as a light blue aura enveloped my body.

I was suddenly enclosed by magic walls and then imprisoned in a cube. I looked at the mare in question and she was glaring at me with hatred. I was quite panicked at this point.

“What are you standing there for!? Help me!” I shouted at the pale yellow mare.

She grinned mischievously. “Let the devil take the hindmost!” 

“TRAITOR!” I yelled.

“OH, NOW I AM THE TRAITOR!? YOU STARTED THIS!” she yelled back.

“SILENCE!” came from the Unicorn guard, as she faced us both.

She then shifted her glare to just me alone. “Now to you. King Sombra, you are arrested for your crimes against the Crystal Empire and its citizens.”

I just furrowed my eyebrows, while the other Unicorn mare seemed to be surprised.

“King who?”

“I’m not falling for your tricks. Not again!” shouted the guardspony.

“Wait a moment. He is King Sombra!? But isn’t he dead!?” uttered the pale yellow mare, whose coat grew even paler.

“King Sombra…” I muttered, as I tried to puzzle the pieces together.

“Don’t even think you can take over the empire and enslave everypony again!”

“Ah! Now I know it! So I’m that evil king that all the ponies are talking about!”

And here comes the silence. Those both were giving me their best ‘are you kidding us’ look they could muster. I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud, but at least now I know it for sure.

After a long pause, the female guard spoke up again. “You are coming with me too,” she said to the pale yellow mare.

“Wait a moment. Why should I come with you?”

“You are under suspicion of working together with King Sombra.”

Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. If I think about it, it is a little creepy because they have so absurdly large eyes.

“Horseapples! I have nothing to do with him!”

“Don’t deny it, Miss Yellow Shine. She is too smart not to notice it,” I said. I had real trouble trying to hide my grin at this point. If I go down, I’m going to take her with me!

“That’s not even my name you idiot! Stop fooling around!”

“I have made up my mind. Follow me now or get arrested in a cube like him.”

Of course she was not keen to follow her orders, but at least this gave me some time to think of something.

So technically I’m a villain, which means that I must have supervillain powers. I might as well try to use them.

“Let’s do this,” I said as my horn began to glow.

And as soon as it did a huge crystal sprouted out of the ground, on which the guard was standing. A few seconds passed, as it broke through the ceiling.

“Nice,” I said, as the cube barrier around me vanished.

Meanwhile, Miss Shine’s jaw dropped. I think I will just call her like that. It is a lot shorter than pale yellow Unicorn mare. Won’t you agree?

“A villain it is. Actually, I always wanted to play as a villain. A villain doesn’t have to follow any rules and can do whatever he wants. I’m probably not the only one who always wanted to try out such a lifestyle.” I when stared at the ceiling. “And it also means, that they can’t charge me for the holes in the ceiling.” I grinned. “Oh, it is great to be evil! I think I will love this role!”

I was about to walk out the door when some debris crushed right down on me. I was barely fast enough to dodge it.

I could see a silhouette in the dust cloud and it made my blood run cold.

“No. You are not going anywhere!”

She sure was determined and tough. Crashing through a ceiling should normally take an average enemy down. But no time to think about that. I have a lot more like that in store.

“Soaring Crystal!” I screamed, as I used my magic to let a crystal sprout slant out of the ground to hit her in the front, but I missed her by at least one meter!

She of course used this opportunity to strike. She summoned a magic shield barrier in front of her and then casted another spell, which leaded to an increase in speed.

She ran me over and sent me flying. I then landed on my face groaning, my hindlegs over my head and my tail in my face.

Snap! Snap! Snap!

“What is this?”

“Just stay like this! This is worth gold! Oh, what am I talking about!? This is priceless!”

I then turned around to see that Miss Shine was taking photos of me!

“What are you doing, Miss Shine?”

“What do you think I’m doing?” She giggled, before frowning. “And stop calling me that!”

“I never gave you permission to take photos of me!” I fumed. “Especially in such a compromising pose! My reputation will be ruined!”

“What reputation? You are a criminal!”

“No, I’m a villain and have therefore a reputation as a tyrant, which I want to uph-“

And then I was smashed into a nearby wall, by a magical barrier shield. She just rammed me, while I wasn’t looking! And here I thought the good guys would play fair!

I coughed through the dust and got up, with fury in my eyes.

Snap!

And with that I also snapped. I ran over to Miss Shine and slapped the camera out of her hoof before throwing it to the ground and stomping on it.

“Are you crazy!” she yelled, but I didn’t care.

“You know what is so great about being a villain!? I can live at others’ EXPENSE! In this case your camera! I won’t pay for it!” Pun right in your face! Who is making bad puns now! Ha!

I smirked, somehow satisfied. This really helped me and I let out a relieved sigh. 

“A lot bette-“

I suddenly dodged another magic shield run on her part.

“What’s your problem? Can’t I spend my SPAre time freely, without you interrupting me all the time?” I giggled. “SPAre time!”

I could hear Miss Shine groan behind me. I’m almost sure she facehooved, but I couldn’t concentrate on her now. I had a little Taurus here, which I needed to attend to.

I concentrated on my magic and tried to use it this time as a wall, seeing as she was coming straight at me that it could deliver a fatal blow.

I smirked. “Crystal Wall!”

Just in time, a crystal wall formed in front of me. A second later, the guard ran straight into it and…

CRACK!

“Wha-“

She went right through it and delivered a critical hit! But she stumbled afterwards to the ground too. So you could say that it at least had some effect.

“GAH!” I screamed as I flew right into Miss Shine’s direction and with her now out of the spa. We came in the middle of the street to a halt.

“Ouch… Maybe the wall was too thin… But at least I had a soft landing.”

“Get off me!” Miss Shine didn’t seem to share my enthusiasm about my soft landing. I smirked.

“Seems like you are the butt, uh… flank of the joke!”

Her face became a glowing red and she threw a hissy fit. Too uptight for my taste.

I stood up fast and brought some distance between us.

She then gasped. “My second camera! You broke that one too!”

I looked over the shattered remnants of another camera. It probably broke during our little crash. “Don’t tell me you were taking photos even after I forbade it and destroyed your first camera, Miss Shine!”

“Of course! Do you have any idea how many bits a photo of you is worth!? Especially since no photos of you exist at all! Do you think I’m a proper Journalist, if I let such an opportunity slide!?”

“Why should I eve-“

I then noticed the stomping of hooves as we were surrounded by crystal guards. They all pointed their spears at us.

I then pointed at Miss Shine. “She started it.”

“HEY!”

The female guard then trotted over to us with a determined look on her face.  At least she wasn’t smug. She still seemed cautious. On the other hand, it would probably be easier, if she was smug. Getting out of here wouldn’t be easy.

“Surrender Sombra. You are surrounded. You won’t get away.”

“Oh please, SPAre me!” I chuckled. 

The guards seemed confused at this, only Miss Shine seemed to get it, as I heard an annoyed groan from her.

But I had no time for this. I needed to escape.

I already formed a plan, and with a smirk I said casually, “Crystal Stomp.”

A crystal pillar shot out next to me out of the ground and hurled a nearby guard through the air. 

“Oopsies.”

The other guards didn’t seem to like that, as they got closer with their spears. A look of determination was plastered on their faces, but I could also tell that they were nervous. There was sweat dripping from their forehead.

I didn’t have any time left. This time counts. “Ok. This time: Crystal Stomp!”

A crystal pillar then shot out from under me and I tried to keep my balance, as it ascended.

I then jumped at the right height from the pillar to the roof of the spa. I cheered as I looked down on them, a confident smirk on my face.

“I am King Sombra! Behold my powers!”

Then suddenly, some of the guards were engulfed by light and disappeared. They appeared not only a second after this right behind me, led by the female guardspony.

“Teleportation magic! Dam my luck!”

I then scooted off over other various rooftops trying to outrun the guards. They had heavy armor, so I found this a completely reasonable action. I also took off in the direction of the outskirts of the town. I had enough problems to take down one simple guard, so conquering an entire empire was out of the question for now. I needed to get a better grip of my powers, so training was of the essence.

Meanwhile, I already forgot a certain pale yellow Unicorn that was still standing on the street and looking after me, a determined look on her face.

“Just you wait and see, King Sombra. I’m going to get a photo of you, or my name will no longer be Press Pass!”

“Ahem!” This single sound broke her out of her thoughts.

“Would you please follow us, Miss Shine?” asked a guard in a harsh tone.

“Horseapples!”
> Chapter 3: Fa(i)lling Plans
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


POV: Princess Cadence


I remember Sombra’s defeat like it happened yesterday. I couldn’t put my joy into words. He was finally done and the Crystal Ponies could now live their life in peace. 

I slept through the rest of the day with Shining. We deserved that much. Then we got more agitated in the night.  

It had been a lovely night indeed. It just seemed that everything was going to be alright now.

But back then, I never thought that it would be such a strain to rule, even if it was just a small country. Even though it was nothing more than a city, it was stuck in the wrong era. It was completely displaced and a lot of questions had to be answered.

Food supply, electricity, water, sewerage… Either it was completely lacking, or outdated by a millennia. And don’t get me started on the ponies. As lovely as they are, their mind-set was outdated as well. 

I mean, how do you introduce magical electricity to them? For them it was sorcery. I remembered that one time, when they burned refrigerators at the stake. It took all the guards and myself to stop them from causing any more destruction. And I don’t want to think about the protests and attacks on the newly built train station at the outskirts of town.

They were afraid, they felt displaced and I couldn’t really blame them. These ponies just needed some guidance, and I would do everything I could to provide it to them.

After an eternity of educating the Crystal ponies, or more precisely – almost three months – the most delicate situations were dealt with. But that doesn’t mean the paperwork got any less.

I was currently sitting in my study. The stacks of papers were towering high above me. The way it was leaning, it was a miracle, it didn’t collapse. It was a tedious and 24/7 job.

“Let’s see what we have here…” I looked at one of the proposals from the Crystal Ponies. “Subsidy for building a… large crystal statue of her savior Spike? As if we had the money for that. We are completely dependent on Equestria and I can’t waste a single bit on things like that now. The financial inspectors would rampage if they found out about that!” 

It’s not that I think Spike didn’t deserve it. He played a primary part when it came to saving the empire, but I had a duty to fulfill. Maybe if things were different, but for now the main topic would be to boost the economy, as well as finish the other building projects. Food and water were a must, after all.

I massaged my temples as I looked at the other proposals. This sure would be a long day. “So, what’s next?” I asked as I levitated the next sheet in front of me. “Permission for a…pyre…” I stared at it for a moment. Seems like some crystal ponies are still having a hard time adjusting. I quickly dropped the sheet to the other ‘non-approved’ proposals.

It was kind of depressing that a lot of them were so absurd, that it simply was a waste of time, which I would have rather put into other efforts. But I couldn’t neglect my duties as a princess. I wanted to help and that’s what I was going to do. She just hoped the next ones would be less absurd. 

I quickly levitated over the next proposal. 

“Financial help and permission for building a comic store,” My eyes started gleaming, “Granted!” I cheered with a smile on my face. “I was getting low on reading material anyway.”

It was an urgent matter! It wasn’t exactly that exciting here. Everything just seems so predictable. The same routine every single day. Even the nights with Shining became predictable, but I don’t want to mortify him with that. He was stressed out as well and therefore a lot less energetic at night. 

It wasn’t his fault. He had a lot of untrained guards to train and was therefore lucky that Celestia sent him some guards to help with the training. And as happy as I was to have gotten some support as well (would be strange if only Shining would get helped with his tasks after all), it did little in the end due to the overwhelming vast amount of tasks.

Suddenly the door burst open. “Princess! It is Crystal Climber! He is climbing up the Crystal Palace again!”

I let out an annoyed groan. Another usual event. We definitely don’t have enough Pegasi around here. “What about Flash Sentry? Is he not in reach?”

“I am sorry to inform you that he is still on patrol,” the guard answered ruefully.

I only sighed at this. Figures.

This Crystal Climber was an old pony and he just wouldn’t let anypony tell him what to do and what not to do. He would always lecture every single pony how he had survived Sombra and how he would not give up his freedom to the new government. That he has the right to do whatever he wanted. He once even compared me with Sombra. He is a rather difficult pony.

Seems like I’m off then to get this Crystal Pony off of the palace, before he can hurt himself. This will probably lead to an over increase in my workload, due to the lost time, but I’m a princess and have to tend to my subjects.

I just wished there would be more excitable distractions here. Sure, it would increase my workload, but I somehow need once in a while something to keep my mind off these duties. Just once sometime. Just a distraction. Anything would be welcome. 

Just not Crystal Climber.






POV: Leon


Remember when I said how easy it would be to outrun the guards? The whole heavy armor thing, while I have a light cape and not that much armor myself? Well, things didn’t go quite that well. How could it go wrong, you ask? Remember the little Taurus from earlier? Yep? Then you can imagine how things went and if not, then let me explain it to you.

I was just running my way and trying to make some future plans, as I ran over the rooftops of the crystal buildings. The angry mob of guards pursued behind me, or at least I thought they were angry. It is hard to read those deadpan faces. Well, not fully deadpan. They look determined, but that’s it. They certainly don’t show more than that.

However, I didn’t want to deal with them, especially since I couldn’t even take on that female guardspony. I just didn’t know how to control my powers. And besides that, I didn’t know ANYTHING about this place. I probably – no, scratch that - I wouldn’t recognize the rulers if I stood right in front of them. 

At least if they were dressed in civil clothing, which seems to be in the ponyworld a wisp of nothing. Nudists all over the place! Perverts. But let’s get back to running, which I did remarkably well, if you think about the fact that I was new to this four legs thing. Trailing off again, am I?

“I need a training ground and maybe some knowledge to help better prepare for the whole conquering business,” I thought out loud. My glorious conclusion. Knowledge is power! So better get out of there, but in a villain like way! I have a reputation to maintain.

“Surrender!” I heard the guards behind me shouting.

“Muhahaha! Pesky little guards. Don’t you know who I am?” I snickered, “Villainlike taunting and laugh: Check! So what is next on the list of evil deeds?” I pondered, “Destruction...and…how about…not to forget…”

Let’s just say I sometimes have a lack of ideas. I’m not always the creative one.

“How frustrati-“

CRASH!

And so I was run over by them, just like that. The little Taurus seemed to have used the same spell on her comrades. It increased their speed and let them tackle me. I was just hurled through the air like that. Just like a small supporting actor. A small role in a play. No one worth mentioning.

I slumped, slightly depressed to the ground. This sure wasn’t how things should go. If anything should be the case, when I should wipe the floor with them and not vice versa!

However I got up and looked around. I was on the edge of a rooftop. My back to the edge, where the main streets were. Surrounded by the guards. Shitty situation, but this is not a reason to lose my sense of humor.

I smirked. “Come on. A dozen guards against a single ma-stallion? You can’t be this SPAthetic!” Silence. “Get it?” More silence. I let out a depressed groan. These ponies don’t get the easiest puns. “Seriously, guys. I know, we are not at the spa anymore, but you don’t have to act like complete nitwits! It is not that hard to get my puns!” The guards just looked at each other confused.

Where is Miss Shine when you need her? At least she got my puns! Yeah, she didn’t like them and groaned every time I made one, but at least she got every pun I made! But on the other hand, she was making photos of me without my permission, while I was under attack and didn’t even help me, when I was trapped in a cube after heroically taking the blame for the spa incident for her. Not to mention that she was leaving me behind just now, as guards were chasing me over the rooftops! What a disloyal character. I really hate those the most…

Topic change! Maybe I should try rooftop puns. Would be more fitting and maybe the guards tend more to understand puns befitting the current situation.

“Surrender!” stated the female guardspony yet again. Not that I would seriously consider this. I looked at the edge of the roof and had an idea. Puns have to wait, it would seem.

I turned around and pulled the cape over my head, gripping it at both ends with my hooves, which was surprisingly pretty easy, considering the missing fingers. Game or dream logic, I guess. I looked weird to say the least. Me standing on two hooves with my cape over my head, grinning like a mad man. But believe it or not, I had a plan and I would pull through with it, no matter the cost.

I jumped and began to scream, “Geronimoooooooooooo!” leaving behind a dozen baffled guards.

And then the unthinkable happened. My cape got loose on my neck and therefore released itself. I was now falling with my two hooves on the ends of my loose cape, which was flickering in the wind. I then fell through a market stall, so I had at least did not suffer the hardest landing.

“Ow…” albeit not the softest landing either. “My parachute plan failed. And here I thought it would work perfectly in a dream.”

Don’t laugh! It didn’t seem like a bad idea at the time. I mean, what would you have done? Just standing there until the Taurus would use her fancy magic for a cube prison again? I highly doubt that she would fall for the same trick twice.

At least the dream logic saved me. I mean, it was pretty convenient, that a market stall was right on my landing spot.

Then I heard some magic zip in front of me. Well, magic is audible and I knew that sound all too well, since it was ruining my great roof escape. I looked up and saw the female guardspony in front of me.

“Yep. I definitely hate teleportation magic now.”

They glared at me.

“I feel like a cat on a hot tin ROOF! Heh, ROOF!” Still nothing more than confused looks. These guards really get on my nerves.

Well, might as well…

I smirked. “Crystal Stomp: Multiple Edition!” 

My attempt to hurl the guards through the air was in vain. Normally, I would have planned just to raise a pillar for every one of those guards to get them hurled out of my way, but I somehow miscalculated my attack…again. In the worst possible way you can think of.

Yep, I was the victim of one of these pillars myself and I couldn’t raise nearly as much pillars as I wanted, so yeah, I definitely need more practice.

I only managed to raise four pillars and let’s just say, that I could only hurl ONE pony through the air, besides myself. So only one foe that really was affected by my attack. Kind of depressing. I should be able to do more! I will lose all of my dignity as a villain, if things continue like this! I mean, what will the fictive chil- uh…foals learn then when they are in school? ‘Hey, there was once this Sombra fella, but a dozen guards were enough to take him down! So enough of him and let’s get to a villain that is actually worth mentioning!’ Yeah, I could totally see that happening.

I was hurled through the air, letting out a manly, villain like scream. Yeah, manly and villain like. I refuse to say that I screamed like a little girl, because I didn’t do that and no one will tell you otherwise, HA!

However, I reached a peak over the building I was walking on earlier. I then fell down directly in the direction behind the building. So at least I got away from the guards. Of course, that would be useless if I would be a smudge on the ground after the landing. Panicked, I try to get a hold of my cape to try the parachute idea once again, but I somehow had too problems to make it in time.

That would definitely hurt…

Or so I thought, as I was landing on a pony. Lucky me. But I guess that is dream logic for you. I then looked down on a white Unicorn with a blue mane. He seemed unconscious.

I let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, pal, even if you didn’t mean to help me in my landing.”

I then stood up and took a closer look at him. “Armor? He probably belongs to the guards, even if his armor is different. Better get out of here, since he probably isn’t glad about helping the public enemy number one.”

I then heard the stomping of hoofs. Things are getting better and better.

“Prince Shining Armor!” called the female guardspony, who was running with a few guards straight in our direction. An interesting initial situation.

“So he is the prince? Might as well give them a show. I am a villain after all.” I smirked as I stood up on two hooves triumphantly and let a hoof rest on the prince’s head. “MUHAHAHA! Look at this, mere guards! Your hero, your prince, your ruler is defeated. I only needed one move to finish him off! Uh, like unconscious off, not dead off. But you probably get my point.” I then stopped for a moment to take in the guards’ reactions to this. Their reactions ranged from hatred, to fear and bafflement. Finally a reaction! Just perfect. I then continued in a mocking tone, “I am taking him as a hostage and if you want him unharmed, then tell the princess that she has to hand me over the entire empire!”

“You scoundrel!” shouted one of the guards angrily, while others gritted their teeth. I only smirked. This really amused me.

I have to say that I really liked this new plan. If I’m too weak to take over the empire, then I can just use tricks. Hostages are always something a good villain would pull off. I then checked this point off on my mental list of villain deeds. Things are suddenly going great, especially since the guards took me serious and didn’t dare to move closer.

Nothing can stop me no-

“What are you doing?” I heard a childlike voice asking. It was in a shocked tone.

I turned around to see the little filly from earlier. I blanched and berated myself. It was clear that she liked this guy and this pose I’m in makes me look like…a villain. 

God, why do things always have to be so complicated?

Tears of disappointment welled in her eyes. 

Oh, god. Kids and the faces they can make. I would rather put up with ten of the Taurus sort than kids at this point.

I flailed with my ha-hooves in panic and tried to come up with a good, or at the moment, ANY explanation. “Well, uh, you see…This isn’t what it looks like! Exactly! I was just playing with…my new friend here!” I took him into my right hoof in, what you could call a semi-hug, as I was standing on my hind legs. Yep, this sure looked awkward, especially with my fake grin. “We were playing…you know…the thing were you…uh…Ah! We were having a little drinking contest and it looks like I won!” Great, I introduce a child to the concept of a drinking contest. I really am a bad influence. I’m wondering, if this actually gives me some villain points? But back to the topic, I had a foal to convince. 

“That’s why he is unconscious and as to my posing…We made a bet! A posing bet! In which the winner of the drinking contest could strike a pose at the loser’s expense! So, we are just two new friends having fun! Nothing suspicious or villain like happened here!”

I let my smile grew wider, to underline my statement. She was looking skeptical, while I was sweating bullets under her stare. Did I ever mention that I just hate it to disappoint kids? Well, now you know! This will certainly make reaching my goals a lot harder.

After what felt like an eternity, she began to sigh, lifting the weight from my shoulders. “Stallions. Posing with an unconscious pony isn’t very nice and you should cease it. Also you shouldn’t really drink too much. My sister says it clouds the mind and is not healthy in a great measure.”

Man, this kid is really mature. 

“Yes, ma’am. Sorry for scaring you like that.” I laughed nervously.

Then I heard a spear falling to the ground. I looked at the direction to see that all the guards had their jaws dropped. One of the guards was seemingly so shocked, that he was losing the grip on his spear. They probably didn’t expect a villain to be child-friendly.

“Great. I surely lost some villain points there,” I muttered under my breath and made sure the filly didn’t hear that. I must keep up appearances.

However, I couldn’t judge the situation any further, as the filly was suddenly dragged behind the guards by a light blue aura. She was rather surprised herself, as she squealed when the aura took her off the ground. She when looked shortly after rather annoyed and flailed in the magic, which did hold her in its grasp. Probably wasn’t new to this experience. But it reminded me of something, the fact that I really need to learn that levitation spell.

I saw the female guardspony talking to her. Looks like they had an argument and the filly wasn’t exactly happy. This really made me curious. 

I then saw two guards taking her out of sight. With nothing else to do, I shrugged it off, before I had to chuckle as a thought crossed my mind. “Here I plan to take over the empire like a real villain, while I try to avoid to looking like a real villain in front of this child. I probably need to throw my principles over board in the near future, if I really want to succeed.”

I sighed. But that isn’t as easy as you might think.

I then let the body of the Prince slump back to the ground like a rag. Let’s say, that I have only so much compassion for children. He is a big boy. A few bumps wouldn’t hurt him.

I then kicked him extra once for good measure. He just ruined my reputation, so he deserved it anyway. Just to force me to act like a good guy… Actually, I should give him another kick. One simply isn’t enough. On the other hand, the guards were glaring at me for the first kick. Probably shouldn’t provoke them even more or they are going to kick me! They are probably even getting a real KICK out of it! 

Yeah, I will better shut up now and proceed with the show.

I tried to focus again. “So, now back to busi-“ I was interrupted, as I noticed that the Prince was rising to his feet.

I was startled by this and slowly stepped backs sweat beginning to form on my brow. He was probably stronger than the guards and this put me in a difficult situation. 

“I knew, I should have kicked him some more!” I said out loud, berating myself.

But things don’t necessarily have to go down. I mean, maybe he was weakened by the crash? Could be a possibility.

“Sir, are you alright?” I heard the approaching female guardspony say.

Great. I just gave up my hostage by backing away. I blame the guardspony for it. She really made me feel unsettled.

He slowly rose to his feet. “I’m fine.” He then locked his gaze on me, snarling. 

Yep, definitely not good. He is probably miffed about the landing and the kick, but I couldn’t just run away screaming. I mean, I have a role to play here! My credibility was at stake if I don’t act like the villain I was supposed to be!

Ok, it’s settled then. Showtime!

I smirked with as much confidence as I could muster in my situation. “So here is our knight in SHINING ARMOR!” He glared at me with rage. Definitely not a fan of puns, and he didn’t even try to hide his feelings from me. Wow, that just sounded so wrong. Get your mind out of the gutter, Leon! You have no time for this!

So, where was I? Oh, yes. Emotions. Well, the other guards at least tried to keep their professionalism. But maybe we two had a history together, which made it personal for him? Well, I could try and figure it out. Hm… Let’s try a little provocation to see how hotheaded he is towards me. “What? Cat got your tongue, little Prince?” I really underlined the word ‘little’ as best as I could to mock him.

“SOMBRA!” he roared as he shot a laser from his horn.

Well, it worked.

I simply dodged his assault. It was an obvious action after all.

“His hothead level is over 9000!” I joked mostly to myself. It’s not like they would understand the reference anyway, if they can’t understand the easiest puns. 

Soooo, definitely the highest hothead level, which usually means a personal connection of some sort.

Well, it is a typical symptom for heroes, when they face their arch nemesis. It also proves that he is the hero of this story then. At least I’m gathering information, but now back to the play!

“No need to be like that. We are old friends, aren’t we?” I mocked.

I could see the pure hatred in his eyes at my words, as he snarled, “Don’t make me laugh! I will rip you apart in two halves! I will smite you! I will strangle you! I will dismember you and feed you to the guard dog of the hell gates of Tartarus! I will bury you alive once and for all, so that you won’t hurt anypony important to me ever again!”

Oh, shit.

“Isn’t that a bit harsh and too sinister for a hero to say? I’m the villain here, so let me have the rip-you-apart speech,” I said, nervously rubbing the back of my head while sweating bullets. “Nice weather by the way, isn’t it?”

Yep, I was stalling for time now. You can’t blame me for that. I need a plan to make it out of here alive. It is too early for me to face the hero in an epic battle. And besides, he was probably stronger than those guards anyway. No need in picking a fight I can’t win.

“Silence! You don’t have any rights!”

“Could be, but it doesn’t mean, that I’m not RIGHT!” Man, I wished I could have had a drummer, for the famous small comedic effect. Maybe I should recruit one? But let’s get back to the topic, shall we?

“But let’s forget that for a moment. You aren’t going to lay a single hoof on me,” I said with a confident smirk. Of course it was only played. I’m not even sure how convincing I was, considering the pearls of sweat on my face.

“And why wouldn’t I?” Shining retorted angrily.

“Because there is an unknown threat you are not aware off. A threat so much bigger than me. Something you don’t know about, my little naive Prince. This enemy is going to smite the both of us. Let me enlighten yo-“

I then blanched. “Oh no! This can’t be! They are here already! We are doo-oo-oomed!” I half screamed/whined dramatically, as I held a hoof on my head, while pointing with the other behind them.

They quickly turned around to see…nothing.

“Gotcha!” I cheered happily. The old damsel in distress pose is always good for a dramatic role.

I was, meanwhile, running away from them. Seems like my acting classes had an effect after all. And here my acting teacher Miss Peterson always said that I wouldn’t be worth her salt. That I was too over the top. But I knew I had it in me! Hell yeah!

Just as I was happily running, I noticed that I wasn’t moving one inch. I then noticed the pink aura that had enveloped me.

Did I ever say that I hate Unicorns? I certainly do now. They make it really hard to escape with their fancy magic. But I had still an old trick up my sleeve. 

I just follow one easy motto: ‘What worked once, will work also twice.’

I concentrated my magic, before bellowing: “Crystal Stomp!”

I grinned as the pillar rose from beneath him and was sure, that I was about to be released any moment now, when he was hitting the ceili-

Oh, crap.

“AHHHHHHHH!” I screamed, as I was dragged along with him towards the skies. But remember, a MANLY scream. Just thought I might as well underline it again.

His grip was then released high above the city. Not the best place to get released though, since I didn’t really have a plan for this situation. Or let’s say that the last two times I was in this situation, my plan failed and I wasn’t inclined on trying that again.

When I saw the Prince teleport to the ground, a thought hit me. “Why not use my magic?”

Yep, beware, because I had a master rescue plan! I could remember the shadow magic back by the train incident. If I could just concentrate long enough, I might be able to pull it off.

However, I started falling and therefore I had little time left. I closed my eyes in concentration. “Simple thinking. I need a simple protection, a simple form. Simple…”

I then shot my eyes open and used my magic, and then a black ball formed around me. A black ball that was almost as large as the street. Not quite what I planned at first, but it would probably do the job.

I plummeted to the ground, where an angry and eager Prince was already waiting. He readied his horn and gave a shot at the black mass right in front of him, but the magic bounced simply off the flexible ball and destroyed a nearby building.

I cheered at this. Seems like my shadows are a pretty good defense.

Shining meanwhile was initially shocked at this, but gathered his composure rather quickly. “Don’t let him pass, Guards!” he yelled, as he attacked again. He seemed determined, but it didn’t really have an effect on my defense.

He then blanched, as the ball was coming straight for him.

“Buck.” The last words of a failing hero. Actually, I could have gone for something more dramatic like: “Curse you Sombra! You may have won this time, but I’m going to return! This is far from over! You hear me! Justice will reign upon the lands, as you obtain your rightful punishment! And then the world will be finally at peace! An everlasting peace, with no hope of you returning and doing any further misdeeds! A peace that shall be known as the world peace! Whole nations will get together and party hard over the course of your demise! And then they get drunk, they will spill some juice over some high diplomats and cause some kind of non-war, with military just tackling each other peacefully and using the soldiers on the other side as targets for their spears. It will be a glorious age!” 

…Maybe a little too long, if you consider his time limit. And maybe a little absurd over the second half, but I somehow couldn’t think of anything else.

It then landed on him with a thump and bounced happily off him in the direction of the town center.

A few bounces later it just rolled through the city, like it had no care in the world, ignoring the screams of the guards, who were overrun by the mass of shadows.

I would have actually enjoyed it. I mean, it was like bowling! I can’t tell you how many strikes I would have got, considering the huge amount of guards I ran over on my way. Unfortunately, I had a lack of control over this thing and was personally feeling ill from the rolling.

God. Noodles for breakfast were a bad idea…

Hey, I was raised to appreciate the value of food and that is why I have lunch for breakfast! The thought of actually trashing food is an unseen horror, which I try to avoid at all costs!

I then heard a whole crowd screaming in terror. Unfortunately, the ball wasn’t translucent and everything I could do was guess on the sounds I heard.

When suddenly some kind of magic collided with the ball and it broke. I hurled out of it and tumbled to the ground. Face first of course. After I slid to a halt I stood up to notice that I was in the town center and there were quite a lot of ponies gathered. Not only civilians, there were guards too. One pony however was somehow a lot more noticeable than others. My eyes narrowed. “They can’t be serious!”

> Chapter 4: About A Heroine And A Villain
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


POV: Princess Cadance


Things looked great up until know. The Crystal Heart was almost fully charged and we could use it any minute now.

I just hoped that Shining is alright. I sighed. He is doing what he has to do and I have to do the same.

“Look!” shouted a nearby guard, as he pointed at the sky.

I wondered what this was about, then I saw something that seems to resemble some kind of a large black ball in the air. It was descending and some blast and explosions could be seen in that direction.

“Sombra,” I said bitterly. Shining was probably there, fighting him with all his might, but I had no time to ponder more, as the ball moved right in our direction.

“He is after the Crystal Heart! Ready yourselves!” I shouted, as my horn flared. I wouldn’t let him hurt any of my precious ponies. I chuckled on the inside. So this was how Princess Celestia felt, while protecting Equestria. Never thought I would utter these words so soon.

It put me into an important situation and I was somehow not only stressed and nervous, but also excited. My mind wandered through the stack of comics stashed under my bed. An unusual hobby for a princess, I know, but stories about saving other ponies and caring for them were one of my favorites, besides romances. Best was a healthy combination of the two. Shining often teased me about my secret hobby and I was a little embarrassed by it myself. I had a reputation to uphold and that is also a reason, why Shining had to buy the comics for me. He was interested in them too, but not as much as me. I was glad to have him. I don’t want to recall the times when I went to the store with a cloak to secretly obtain them. It was probably ridiculous, but as royalty, things are just different.

I then heard the nearing screams of the guards and drops of sweat were forming on my forehead.

He was getting closer and closer. I need to get rid of the shadows. Luckily my magical properties were light and love, the weakness of shadow magic. My special powers, if you would like to call them like that. But I couldn’t underestimate him, even with that slight advantage on my side. He had huge magical capabilities. The way he attacked the Crystal Empire the last time showed that. These huge shadow walls and the sprouting crystals. I wouldn’t allow it. Not this time. Cause I am Pink Cadence!

With determination, I pulled on as much magic that I could muster to create a shield of love and light. It spread and met with the ball, which shattered upon contact.

Out of the shadows fell a dark grey Unicorn. I recognized him immediately and was ready for everything that was to come. Or at least, I thought that at the time.

He stood up with a bewildered look on his face. I threw a quick glance to the Crystal Heart. It looked good so far. But was it good enough? It needed enough energy, so that Sombra wouldn’t return AGAIN. I was ready to give the command and sent him to the deepest pits of Tartarus, but something was off about him. He seemed confused, but then he looked at me. Suddenly I could see anger rise up in his face. I readied my stance. Time to protect my ponies.

“They can’t be serious!” I heard him shouting.

I was ready to end this and I would end this, no matter what tricks he tries. “Face your e-“

“Don’t tell me you are Princess Cadance?” I heard him ask with a hint of disappointment in his voice. I tripped over my words. Just what was he pulling off? This was getting strange. I simply nodded and tried to proceed, but he wouldn’t let me.

“Face yo-“

“THE Princess Cadance?” The disbelief in his tone could be heard by every pony. 

My anger was replaced by confusion. I nodded again awkwardly before speaking up. “Fa-“

But I was of course interrupted AGAIN. “A pink pony princess?! Seriously?!”

“What are you get-“

He facehooved, before shouting, “Cut! Cut! Cut!” He made a T-motion with his hooves. “This is getting too girly for my taste. I mean Ponies, ok. Spa, why not? A cute little filly, most definitely appreciated! But this? I hereby protest! That guy over there was at least someone I could take serious! But a PINK PONY PRINCESS? What kind of hero is this supposed to be? You are qualified for the role as a damsel in distress at best! This is ridiculous!”

My anger rose again at this insult. He didn’t even think about taking me serious! For him I was a helpless little victim. Nothing more than his prey. But I calmed relatively fast. If he thought that I was going to be an easy prey and not a heroine, then he will be surprised.

I readied my stance again. This time for sure. “F-“

“And what is this! A heart-shaped butt tattoo? Sorry, but you can’t be serious! Just take a look at me!” He then presented his fangs, while pointing at them. “These make me look like a villain as well as,” he then pointed to his horn, “this nice red little horn,” then he pointed at his coat, “dark sinister fur,” and then he pointed at his flank, as he lifted his cape to present it, “and I don’t even need to tattoo my butt! Just look at my well-toned flank!” He shook his flank enticingly at me.

I gawked at the missing cutie mark, as well as his choice of words. Well-toned flank. Oh, and don’t get me started on the shaking of his flank! Not that he would leave me enough time to think about it any further.

He then held a hoof to his chin, while musing, “Talking about flanks...” I had a bad feeling about this one.

“Just sto-“ And interrupted again. Maybe I should give it up… No! I can’t give in to him!

“Hey! I’m still talking. Don’t always interrupt me!”

Interrupt him?! He can’t be serious!

Suddenly he pointed at me with disdain. “You are way too thin around your flank and therefore too fragile to be taken seriously! Eat some cake and dye your fur, then we can start talking again!” He stated this with a determination and finality, so that I was simply dumbfounded for a while. 

All around me were faces of equally shocked Crystal Ponies, their jaws dropped. I was pretty sure that my own jaw has dropped by this development as well.

I then slowly started to process all that he had said and grew more and more furious. Getting insulted to such a degree is nothing I get often. Of course there were always enviers, but they didn’t take it that far. The thing that really did upset me, was that he didn’t even let me speak up. All sense of arguing was lost with him and I stared daggers at him.

He sure will wish  that he wouldn’t have left his bed this morning.






POV: Leon


From all what could have happened, I didn’t quite expect this. I mean, a pink pony princess, seriously? I expected something more. Given that I already knew she was a pony princess, but the pink and the heart tattoo weren’t really necessary. But being underweight was probably the most fatal flaw of this so called princess.

“You are a super waif and therefore the worst possible role model for little fillies! They most likely will try to get as thin as you and with that attitude risk their health! You are a threat for every innocent little filly out there!” I accused, and I had every right to be angry with her.  Can’t just let the little filly have such a bad role model.

She flared her wings in an attempt to intimidate me. Wait…what now?

“Sombra! You will fa-“

“You devil!” I shouted angrily as I fell to my knees. “You really did it now!”

She groaned. “What is it this ti-“

“Wings!” I pointed at her accusingly. I can’t believe I overlooked them up until now.

“So wha-“

“You are greedy! Why do you have wings AND a horn?! I don’t even have that treat!”

“That’s bec-“

“Because you are evil! A villain! A tyrant! How couldn’t I have noticed this sooner?! You keep all the privileges for yourself! Shining is probably only a marionette to you! He has only a horn after all! A small henchman! Poor guy!”

“Hey! Stop that! It’s not like tha-“

“You are using him?! Your own brother?! Be ashamed!”

“We are married and he is not my b-“

“Incest?! You are even more evil than I thought! He is only a slave for you! You are enslaving your brother! God, this is worse than I could have ever imagined it…”

“No! Just li-“

“Oh god… It is over for me… I can’t top that… In comparison to her I look like a saint! How can I play my role now?! I-I c-can’t!” I started to sit on the ground and rock back and forth in a vain attempt to calm myself down. It didn’t help. The thought of my mind making things like this Cadance up is just too much for me. I mean what does this say about myself? I must be really mentally damaged to think of such an overkill villain…

Probably too many video games and anime. God, Joel was right, and I hate it when he is right! But it is just in my head. He doesn’t have to know!

“HE IS NOT MY BRO-“

I hastily stood up and pointed at her again. I could see her eye twitch. “You know what?! Go keep your stupid empire, I don’t want it anymore!” No, I wasn’t pouting. Most definitely not. I just turned my head in an offended manner to look away from the princess. Nothing more.

“Is he pouting?” I heard one of the guards say. Thanks for that!

“Stupid guard,” I grumbled, still not facing in their direction. I would have used a crystal stomp on this insolent guard, if it wasn’t for me being completely outnumbered.

“BUCK THIS!” bellowed Cadance as she fired a beam from her horn. It hit me hard and hurled me a few feet backwards. Let me tell you one thing, IT BURNS!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAH!” I shrieked as I was hit and a fire even started on my coat.

“IT BURNS!” I wallowed in the ground on pain, while rolling to get the flames out.

“YOU VILLAIN!” I cried out in anger. “ATTACKING A HELPLESS PONY WHILE IT IS NOT LOOKING! THAT IS LOW, EVEN FOR YOU!”

A guard turned his head to the princess. “He has a point. This was really not very princess like.”

She glared at the guard, before she set on a deadpan expression, as she mulled his words over. “Are you bucking kidding me?” was her only response. Seems like she couldn’t believe that a guard would actually choose my side. 

I like this guy with his orange coat and blue mane. Maybe I should recruit him!

“Listen to your guard. I haven’t done anything! You on the other hand enslaved your own brother! Pervert! This is just sick! Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?! How can you watch yourself in the mirror or sleep peacefully even?!”

“WE ARE NOT RELATED! AND I AM ALSO NOT IN CHARGE WHEN IT COMES TO THE PRIVILEGE OF SPREADING WINGS OUT!”

I giggled. “SPREADING wings out! Perfect pun!” 

At this moment steam was coming out of her nostrils. Really scary. But I guess that’s dream logic for you. Aaaaaaand she is charging her horn of course, while screaming a battle cry.

“Raaaaaaaaaargh!”

BLAST!

THUMP!

“Ouch…” I muttered and glared at her as I got up again. “Spoil sport.”

“That was really not appropriate. He was just pointing out the pun you made,” uttered the orange guard. I really love this guy for this. I will definitely mark him as a potential candidate for recruitment.

Cadance’s eye meanwhile twitched. It was really creeping me out.

After I got back to my feet, I processed the things she just said, the gears in my head turned slowly at this revelation.

“Soooo…you are not evil?” I asked cautiously.

“NO! I AM NOT EVIL!”

I let out a sigh of relief. Would have been bad, if I couldn’t have played my role! I mean, who watches a movie about a villain, slaying a villain? That’s just strange when it comes to the morals. I mean, who do you root for? The one who is a little less evil than the other? Or maybe for the one with the better merchandising products? I would totally go for the latter one. It is always a good sign if you can get things for free. This makes companies and people look less greedy.

“Well, I guess we can proceed with our play then. I hope you have prepared your script. I want this ‘heroine meets villain’ scene to be perfect!”

It is kind of strange that she smirked at this. I expected a different reaction, but if she is willing to play the role without complaining, then I won’t complain either.

“Ok then. Camera set and aaactiiiioooooon!”

She looked incredulous for a moment, but then smiled at the prospect of finally reciting her script.

“King Sombra! Today you will face your inevitable, finale defeat! Justice will reign upon this land and your times of oppression will come to an ultimate end!”

She made a toothy grin. I swear to you, she was enjoying this play more than me! But let’s get back to the script. I wouldn’t want to disappoint her.

“Oh, so you think you can defeat me? The manipulator of shadows? What could you possibly do to oppose me?”

“The Crystal Heart!” She then moved out of the way to present a…Crystal Heart? Not really a creative name, but that wasn’t what bothered me about this.

“CUT!” I bellowed, as I formed a T with my hooves again. “A heart shaped weapon? What’s just so…how do I put it?” I mused, with a hoof to my chin, “So…corny. Nothing against love. It’s some great stuff and all, but does it have to be in a heart shape? Why not a cube? Just like the one in ‘Avengers’? This would give it a nice cryptic pizazz.”

Her look of annoyingness (yep, another great newly coined word of mine) formed suddenly into an incredulous look. “Wait. You know the Pavengers?”

Pavengers? Like Pony Avengers? Wow, my mind sure made some things up here. And here I thought I could forget references. This might get interesting.

“Yeah. I mean, who does not know them. I pity the fools who haven’t heard of them before.”

This seemed to spark something inside her. Don’t ask me what it was, but she somehow got extremely excited about this.

“I know what you mean! It is the gathering of the most famous heroes of all time! Captain Equestria, the Iron Pony, Bulk, Thor… The power ponies aren’t half as good as this team! It’s a pity this city is missing a comic store, but I’m already working on fixing that. I tell you, I’m already thrilled to read the next comic! It was just such an unbearable cliff-hanger, then they all got separated right before the big fight!”

She then stopped and looked around her nervously. Almost all ponies were staring at her with confusion or surprise. Orange Boy didn’t seem to mind it just like me. I mean, what is the deal with a girl liking comics? She is just a normal pony…running a whole country. Ok, I get it now. The whole role model shebang, but that was her problem not mine, so I still didn’t really care.

“I mean…uh…I heard about this being a good comic series! Nothing more!” she said, quite panicked.

I laughed at her. She didn’t seem to appreciate it. “No need to be ashamed. I mean, I remember well, as I enslaved the Crystal Ponies, because they didn’t know about them! Scum like that just deserved to get enslaved, don’t you think?” I joked, even though I tried to sound as serious as possible.

I surely hoped this would help to recover some of my lost villain points. You know, the reputation I have to uphold? Let me tell you, it could be easier if you consider that my magical abilities are strongly limited and I can’t do that much damage. So I sometimes have to keep it up with words.

And here she was, just staring at me in disbelief. “That doesn’t make any sense. There was no such thing a thousand years ago.”

A Thousand years ago? Didn’t really get that part, but best thing would probably be to play along with it.

“Oh…I guess, it was something different then. I still have some blanks there. Memory loss and all. Let’s just say, I used some magic I shouldn’t have tried,” I lied. 

At this point I was babbling complete nonsense. I myself didn’t even know what I was talking about. I’m not that good at improvising, so don’t blame me.

“Ok…then,” she said in an unsure manner.

“Yeah, yeah. Can’t we just continue our play?” I uttered, as I tried to direct the conversation into the right channels again.

“Yeah! Like I just said, the Crystal Heart tore you to smithereens and your smithereens to smithereens last time, so you can’t win! Yield and accept your defeat!”

Ok, the girly shaped weapon is a tool of total mass destruction! Maybe I should overthink my strategy?

“Hold on a moment. Do I get spared if I admit defeat?”

She mulled it over for a second. “No, not really.”

“What is the point in giving up then?!” I shouted angrily.

“Well…I just reminded this sentence from-“ she stopped and caught herself just before it slipped her again. “a novel!” 

Yep, totally not a comic. If you practice in front of the mirror, you could maybe convince me in let’s say…a thousand years!

But that was not important now, I needed an escape plan. A distraction would be nice.

I heard suddenly something familiar and my ears moved in the direction of the sound. I must say, that I like this ear flicking sensation. It really is an interesting part of pony anatomy.

Snap!

I grinned. This was just TOO perfect. I already knew how to make my great escape!






POV: Princess Cadance


I had a victorious smile on my face. The Crystal Heart was probably charged to the max right now and therefore ready to wipe him out of existence, without any chance of return. At least, that’s what I hoped for. 

It was a surprise in itself that he survived the last blow, after he was torn apart by the heart last time. But there was no time for doubts now. If it was necessary, I would even blow him a third time with it. But something was off about him.

He behaved strangely to say the least. And now he grinned like he had still an ace up his sleeve. He then took a stance and I prepared myself for the worst. I mean, he insulted me before so there couldn’t come anything good out of his mouth, right? Well, despite his devotion for the Pavengers…

Focus!

He stood on two legs and announced with confidence, both hooves in the air, “I have eight thousand stallions on my side! They have surrounded the entire empire and just wait for the signal to strike! Even you can’t take on eight thousand stallions! Am I right?!”

I blanched. Did he really make that many allies? How? This had to be a lie. Was he really the whole time gathering troops, while we thought he was gone? He did know about the Pavengers…There weren’t any comics a millennia ago, so he was around for at least a while. And he was not in the Crystal Empire, though to the lack of comics. He had to be travelling through the lands to gather troops. 

Even though it is dubious, I mean gathering eight thousand stallions in three months, without even Celestia or Luna noticing it? Not to mention his memory loss story. It doesn’t seem to add up. But even if the number was wrong, he could still have troops at the ready. I simply couldn’t exclude it. I have to be careful with this.

“And why did you come alone here then?” I asked the obvious question. It’s also a point that seems strange to me. Why waiting, when he could have taken over the empire just like that?

“I just wanted to amuse myself. It is really humorous to see that you still think you are on top of things. My female general only has to give the signal. She is here in the town with me and is just waiting for her cue.”

He then turned around and pointed at a pale yellow Unicorn mare. “Ok, Miss Shine, time to get this party started!”

I immediately signalled some ponies in silence with a movement of my head to get her.

“Horseapples!” could be heard from the mare, as the guards took her down at once, along with a few other swears and her promising revenge.

“Yeah! Get her guards!” Sombra shouted cheerily, as he made a step forwards and stretched his hoof out in an attempt to strike a pose. “See, Miss Shine?! That’s what you get for taking photos of me!”

My eyelid twitched at this. Was I wrong? Was he just playing with us? I just couldn’t find an answer for this question. Nothing made sense anymore.

I took a calming breath as I stretched my hoof out. A technique which I also recommended for Twilight, and it seemed to work even under this circumstances.

As I calmed down I just pushed these confusing thoughts away for now. He was probably aiming to confuse me, and I needed to stay focused.

I then noticed him sighing. “This is going to suck,” he said as he concentrated magic into his horn and I tensed up, as I saw that. It all was just a distraction!






POV: Leon


“BUCK YOU!” I could hear Miss Shine scream, as I struck a pose and taunted her. But I had no more time for any more delays. This wouldn’t keep them distracted for long but honestly, I didn’t want to use this escape plan I made.

“This is going to suck,” I said, after I sighed. The fun part was over and now followed the highly unfunny part. 

I closed my eyes and then concentrated my magic. They would not give me a second try, if this failed. 

“Shadow Ball, Soaring Crystal: Pinball Combo!” I roared, as I could see the shadows forming a ball around me. After they were done I let a soaring crystal spread out of the ground fast, to push me up to high speed. Unfortunately, the crystal went at the wrong angle out of the ground, and so destroyed my well-planned escape route.

And here I thought I could go straight for the train station.

I heard screams as I crashed into some building and an annoyed shout, “MY CAMERA!”

I have to admit, I snickered at this, despite the circumstances. Served her right, the rotten thing.

The ball was lightly squeezed upon contact with the building and even made a squeezing sound, as I  then ricocheted towards the Eiffel Tower.

Yes, Eiffel Tower. Just now flashed an image in my mind and it quite frankly shocked me, that I didn’t see the resemblance sooner. Not that I ever saw the real Eiffel Tower in real life, but it is somehow one of the things everyone knows about. Even though I personally must admit that the tower was for me just a metal framework. Nothing worth mentioning. Sorry my French friends, but I’m just telling the truth here! 

There were a lot of other sights, which were actually more worth mentioning. Neuschwanstein Castle for example. Wished I would have visited it once. It really looked majestic in the pictures AND on the coin! 

I have such a nice little coin myself! What is it doing on a coin, you ask? Euro coins sometimes have special coinages, but you are probably more interested in what happened, after my ball made contact with the Crystal Eiffel Tower, which was by the way a lot better to look at than the original. No offence again! Just my honest opinion!

The ball ricocheted again and I shot this time at least in the right direction. Nothing could stop me now.






POV: Shining Armor 


This wasn’t a good day for me. Getting flattened twice by Sombra is as condescending as you can think. Of course he was powerful, but I should at least be able to buy Cadance more time than this. I was, back in Canterlot, the Captain of the guard after all!

But these thoughts have to wait as I cantered towards the Crystal Palace. I just hoped that she was alright. There was no telling what this fiend would do to her.

I quickly entered the square, but couldn’t spot him. But what I did see was Cadance. She looked worried, but I was glad to see that she was alright. She then started to look at me panicked and motioned to something in the air.

I wondered about it for a moment, but then looked up. I couldn’t move, as shocked as I was. Only one thought reigned my mind.

“Not again.”






POV: Princess Cadance


I watched with horror as Shining was flattened by the massive ball. I tried to warn him, but it was too late. I felt like a complete idiot now. Sombra was just making fun of me the whole time. He didn’t take me serious once and now Shining paid the price for my failure, as he was squashed under the weight I couldn’t carry.

Nopony could survive getting crushed by a firm mass like this.

Tears formed in my eyes, but I hastily wiped them away. I need to stay strong. For Shining. Your sacrifice is not going to be in vain! I swear by your grave, that I am going to avenge you! Like a real Pavenger!

I took my stance and gave the signal to activate the Crystal Heart. Sombra will not get away with this.






POV: Leon


I felt something squashing under my ball as it landed, but I didn’t pay it any heed. One simple guard pancake more or less wouldn’t really make any difference now. I had to concentrate on my escape plan after all.

Or could you even call it concentration, if I’m only sitting here, waiting to get to the outskirts of town? Well, I have to keep the spell up, but that isn’t really a challenge. I just have to get out before they fi-

And then there was a loud bang. Something like a…magical explosion? Probably magical. They fired the magical weapon of mass destruction! This could as well be my doom now.

My ball suddenly vanished, as some of the light touched it. I was now in mid-air, but I could already see the train. Without thinking too much, I made one final move. 

“Soaring Crystal!” I roared, as I let a Crystal shot slant out of the ground, which gave me the push I needed. I angled myself, so I could get straight through the train window. I crashed into it and against the wall of the opposite site.

I then looked around and could see that the veil of rainbow light was right in front of me. It could almost touch me. I held my breath out of fear that the exhaling could give way to closing the short distance between us.

I could hear my eyes flicker, or the shadows on them. Probably a sign that I shouldn’t touch that veil. It was really pretty, even if it was a deadly weapon.

After a minute or so of waiting, I could see it shrinking back and noticed then, as I moved some steps forwards, that this assault caused Northern Lights to stretch along the skies and dance upon it. A really breathtaking experience. But I couldn’t stay here to admire them. The guards will be here any minute.

I quickly moved towards the engine of the train. Hijacking a train would be a good evil deed for my mental check list after all.

I entered the cabin and saw the cream-colored conductor in front of me. He looked surprised to say the least and I grinned at him.

“Beware! I’m officially hijacking this train and taking you as my hosta-!”

I then dropped to my knees, for the…third time? Yeah, probably third time. So for the third time that day.

“They can’t be serious,” I said disheartened and let out a depressed sigh. “A heart-shaped window…”

I mulled this over. Would anyone even take me serious if I hijack this train? It was a valid question.

I hit one of my hooves then against the hard floor of the driver cabin. “Of course they wouldn’t! Just look at me! Hijacking a train with a heart-shaped window! The pretty pink pony princess probably designed this train herse-“

CLANG!

I then wallowed on the ground in pain, as I was hit with a FREAKING shovel! What is wrong with the conductors in this dream?

I looked up to see him raising his shovel again. I quickly dodged and then roared, “Soaring Crystal!” A crystal shot immediately out and tackled him, and by accident even pierced through the roof. The cabin was barely large enough for two ponies. At least I didn’t hit the engine. In hindsight it was probably a stupid idea to rely on my magic here.

He then sat on his haunches and gazed up to the crystal in shock. I grinned at this. He probably wouldn’t try anything anymore now. 

I stood on my hindlegs triumphantly and declared, “I hereby hijack this train! Start the engine, because we are heading off now!”

He stood up and did as I told him. The train made its departing noises and soon we were out of the reach of the authorities. I could see them at the station by the way. A bunch of normal guards and the little Taurus stood there. I laughed heartedly at this, loud enough, to ensure that they could hear me. They should feel humiliated for their failure.

Shame on them. They couldn’t capture a single pony in their capital!

I mused over my achievements meanwhile, as we drove towards…somewhere. I still had the conductor to ask about my destination.

However, going over my mental evil deeds checklist, I recognized that I could be satisfied with my progress for now. I damaged some buildings, used guards as bowling pins, taunted the heroes of this play, took a hostage, hijacked a train, destroyed three cameras of Miss Shine and probably even got her captured! (My greatest achievement in my opinion.)

I’m not the most creative fella around, but I still convinced them about me being a threat. Maybe I will even get a wanted poster? Well, but without a photo. I had to snicker at this. Kind of a pity, that I won’t see Miss Shine again, but then again, it is her own fault. She shouldn’t upset the wrong people.

I then began to shiver.

“It’s getting kind of cold in here,” I then stared at the ceiling. “Oh yeah. Destroyed ceiling.”

I sighed at this. Of course there was a blizzard out there at the same time. I could hear and feel the cold wind. At least I got my cape. It warmed me up at least a little.

And then my eyes fell on the conductor. I rubbed the bump at the back of my head. I probably need to punish him for that. A hit with a crystal certainly wasn’t enough for this crime! I grinned, as an idea formed in my mind.

I slowly approached him.

“How does this work?” I asked innocently. Or as innocently, as a villain could ask.

He seemed nervous at this, but I didn’t give him any other choice than to explain it to me. It was pretty simple. Old technique. I was sure that I could do this on my own.

I then dragged myself to the door and mused, “This will be fun. I’m going to kick him out and let him walk back!” I chuckled lightly at this, “But I should probably make sure the blizzard is not too strong. Wouldn’t want to harm him, even if he was a conductor.”

I opened the door and stepped outside, watching the blizzard. It was pretty strong and I kind of felt bad for having this idea in the first place. The wind teared at me and I could only imagine the horror of being out there and freezing to death. I just couldn’t simply kick him out under such circumstances.

“Maybe, I will just drop this pla-“ And then my train of thought was DERAILED! Yeah, I simply had to use that one.

PUSH!

And then suddenly I was outside the train. Pushed by the conductor. I probably shouldn’t have thought out loud these thoughts. Some might think of it as a bad habit, but I personally always saw it as a personal quirk.

I remember when I wanted to prank someone, but spoke my thoughts out loud, while the person was near. I got pranked in the end.

But back to the present.

“AHHHHHH!” I screamed as I fell outside the cabin. One thought only reigned within my mind. 

Conductors suck.






POV: General Wate Ain Sea 


I was lying on a cot, with a cocktail in my aura. This sure was a ruckus right now. Seems like sun bathing is not as easy, as I thought it would be, but at the same time I couldn’t complain, since a lightshow came together with the ruckus.

I leaned up and took in the scene. Leon sure made a real turmoil. But that wasn’t my problem. I was on vacation and I would enjoy every second of it, or at least, that’s what I thought.

A young orange Pegasus was coming my way.

“General Wate Ain Sea?”

“What do you want, lad?”

“The princess is waiting for you.”

I sighed. Seems like some pony wants to cut my vacation short.






POV: Author


I was lying on my bed in my apartment, somehow satisfied that I finally had finished the two chapters. Finally some peace.

“Hey! What is the meaning of this? I get only one line?!” screamed a pale yellow Unicorn and I jumped up in surprise.

I looked at her baffled, but calmed down relatively fast to answer her question.

“Well, technically it was two lines. And by the way it is my decision how often you appear in my series, and besides, you were not even originally planned for this story!” I then stared at her for a few seconds more. “How did you even get here?”

“I’m a journalist. So I did a little research on you. It was not that hard to find, and of course, it was also not that hard for me to pick your lock, but you should really clean this place up. It is completely cluttered.” She then looked at a stack of books. “What is this? A guide of how to reach happiness? Seriously?”

“What is wrong with that?” I asked, annoyed.

“Somepony that has no clue about happiness? No, nothing wrong at all! Just pathetic.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

I sighed. A headache was incoming. “Listen. It is not your business what I read. And the key to happiness is an interesting subject.”

“I tell you the key to happiness. It is making photos, blowing scandals and getting known by all of Equestria!”

I eyed her warily. “Yeah…sure.”

“However, let’s get back to the topic on hoof. Do I get more screen time now?”

“The General didn’t get much screen time this chapter either, so why are you even complaining?”

“Your audience obviously enjoyed my appearance in the second chapter. You wouldn’t want to anger them now, would you? Just imagine the huge angry mob outside your apartment, after I told them where you live.”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“You should really know me better.” She began to smirk. God how much I wished to wipe that smirk off her face. 

I gritted my teeth. “Ok. You get more screen time.”

“Good. I will be looking forward to a complete Press Pass chapter.”

“A c-complete c-chapter?” I stuttered, as my eye twitched.

“It is the least you can do for me, for leaving me out like this in your last two chapters!”

“Fine!” I huffed. “I will make you suffer through this chapter as much as possible.”

“What was that?” She raised an eyebrow.

“Nothing!”
> Chapter 5: The Hard Life Of A Journalist (Unedited)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


POV: Press Pass


A dim crystal was shining on the ceiling of my cell. Crystals seemed to be abundant in this place. In a ridiculous amount. They literally sprouted from the walls! It was quite spiky. They didn’t sprout out more than a few inches and they did it in a slant angle, but that didn’t make it any better. 

Just think about it. A prisoner could break a piece from those crystals as a makeshift weapon and attack the first pony that walks into the cell! Especially since there were no chains or any means to restrain prisoners in here! No chains! No magic! Nada! Are they really that low on money? If true, why not use the Unicorns for some magical binding spells? Next thing that happens is that they can’t even afford doors for the cells! A really ridiculous prison indeed.

I had a lot worse in my career. I remember the dungeons in Canterlot Castle. Walls as smooth as a mirror, being chained to the wall with an inhibitor ring on my horn AND being watched by guards! Or at least they were patrolling and checking the cells every thirty minutes. THAT was a challenge. But this? Pffffffffffft. Ridiculous. I’m kind of offended even!

I probably could get the door to the cell open with one of the crystals on the walls. It’s not like I was being watched. Or I was not being watched until a familiar pony walked in on me and started asking ridiculous questions.

“What is your connection to Sombra?”

I huffed at this. It was the same incompetent unicorn mare, who was fighting Sombra back at the spa. The one who was buying the most obvious lie in the history of lies! The HUGE grin on his face told everypony that he was not even serious! And still she believed him! A criminal! The nerve! It took all of my willpower not to just pummel her into the ground. The other guards in front of the cell doors probably wouldn’t appreciate it.

Well, at least I know now that Sombra escaped them. Otherwise she wouldn’t be so persistent and pissed about this whole interrogation. Of course, her voice seemed to be calm, but her light blue eyes betrayed her. I could practically see them boiling in the same way with hatred, how mine boiled with anger.

“How often do I have to tell you?! I only met him today and it is quite obvious that he is messing with me!” 

I was really annoyed by her questioning. I mean, was his taunting not obvious enough after the guards dogpiled me? Was him leaving me behind, surrounded by guards, not enough? Or him destroying my cameras repeatedly! I was running short on them! And let me tell you, they were not cheap! Especially the lenses. A good, razor-sharp photo always depends on the quality of the lens. That is the first rule of being a professional photograph. Of course quality comes with a price and this made her sigh more than once, then she thought back to the brave lenses who sacrificed themselves for the sake of the photo of a lifetime. But once she got the photo, it will all pay off. Just the equipment she could buy from a SINGLE photo of him! The first photo ever made of King Sombra! And not to forget the fame! 

Those thoughts are what always helped me through with difficult situations. They can try to break me, they can try to break my cameras, but they can never break my spirit!

“Yeah, sure. You were acting rather pally around him. I doubt you would act like that, if you didn’t know him. So let’s try this again. What do you know about him?”

I narrowed my eyes at her. My frustration building up to whole new levels. My answer was accordingly rather harsh.

“I know that he is a selfish, arrogant, self-centered and narcissistic bastard!”

How dense can guards be! I know I was always badmouthing about the Canterlot guards, but they had at least some common sense in them! I mean, yeah they got distracted and left their post, if you so much as threw a stone, leaving the gate to the castle completely unattended, but against the crystal guards, they looked like the Special Forces of the Gryphon Kingdom! And let me tell you, that they understood their job! That was definitely the closest call I had in my entire career.

The crystal guards probably couldn’t even replace a single lightbulb! No matter how numerous they were. And I found this out only after one day of being here! That’s how obvious it was!

“I see. You are that emotional about him. You are his concubine then?”

“C-concubine?” I stuttered, quite shocked by that ridiculous statement. But only a moment later my head turned red, more out of anger as embarrassment and I narrowed my eyes dangerously at the insolent mare.

“CONCUBINE?! CONCUBINE?! DID SOMEPONY BUCK YOUR BUCKING BRAINS OUT! OH I SEE HOW IT IS! LET ME GUESS HE WAS ONCE BUCKING YOU, YOU BUCKING PIECE OF HORSEAPPLES AND NOW YOU LIKE TO PUT THE SHAME ON OTHERS TO DISTRACT FROM YOUR OWN SHAMEFUL BUCKING ACTIONS!”

She stumbled back at this, blushing thoroughly. 

“W-What is n-not t-“

“TELL ME HOW DID IT FEEL TO GET TAKEN BY HIM FORCEFULLY! YOU PROBABLY WERE EVEN ENJOYING IT! WHICKERING LIKE A WHORSE!”

Visibly frustrated she walked up to me, taking me in her magical grip and bringing me close to her face. Her face was still a shade of deep red. Her voice was still controlled and calm, but I could definitely hear it cracking. Ha! Seems like I win this round.

“Listen here, Miss Shine. We know you have a connection to Sombra and you won’t get out of here until you tell us everything you know.”

I smirked. “So you would let me, a possible acquaintance of Sombra, set free after I told you some things about him? That is pretty stupid.”

Some may say this was a stupid move, but she kinda provoked that response! If she is willing to make such morally questionable deals, I could only guess what other scandals I could find within the guard. This has potential! I definitely might want to write an article about them at a later date too. But first things first.

She then dropped me to the ground.

“Be that way then. I don’t mind you rotting down here for the rest of your miserable life.”

She when walked towards my cell door.

This guard didn’t really deserve an answer, but it wouldn’t hurt to show some good will, every now and then. Especially since I could milk this situation to my advantage. If I told her something to distract her from me for a while, I could roam the castle undetected for other scandals! And besides they needed the help. One word: Incompetence. You really have to wonder if you need an IQ below the average to join those idiots.

But I’m going on a guard rant again here, aren’t I? 

However I answered just then she was before the threshold of my cell.

“He is bad at magic.”

She stopped and turned her head slowly around to me. Confusion written all over her face.

“What are you talking about?”

“Then I met him in the spa he couldn’t do a simple levitation spell.” I grinned. “You fought him. Didn’t you notice that his magic was off?”

She seemed to contemplate this for a moment, before turning away from me and stepping out of my cell.

Just before she got out of earshot, she answered, “I will keep that in mind.”

I sighed. They really aren’t the brightest bunch. After all the reports I have read on his case. The reports about his abilities, it should have been obvious to them, especially since THEY saw his abilities firsthoof. King Sombra doesn’t get pushed around by a few mere guards. He was able to take on the whole empire by himself with his dark magic as he returned for the first time and could only be stopped through the Crystal Heart, which was the equivalent to Equestrias Elements of Harmony.

Yep. I did my homework. I’m not some bloody amateur. Too bad that the reports didn’t have any descriptions about his look. This could have helped my situation, but oh well…

I then proceeded to look around the cell. Kind of funny how often things end up with me being in a cell. And I didn’t even have to break into the palace to end up here! I’m completely innocent this time!

This was certainly not what I had in mind, when I woke up this morning.






Back to the past – Or more specifically, this morning


PEEP! PEEP! PEEP!

I groaned as I rolled to the left side of my bed. Glaring at the digital clock on my nightstand, as if it would bulge under my stare and stop it’s annoying, as well as torturing sounds. The rectangular box showed the time relentless in poisonous green numbers.

“06:00,” I muttered. It was way too early to start the day. I yawned as I smashed my hoof on the clock violently to finally silence it. Cracks were already forming on the clock.

“I really need to find some better clocks. Would be the third broken one this month,” I muttered, as I tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

I groggily stood up from my bed and made my way to my bathroom, where I scrubbed my teeth.

After this the sleep seemed to have slackened and I could now eye myself in the mirror to see one of the worst cases of bed head you could imagine on a pony, with the hair sticking out at every possible angle, almost like an octopus. Or with other words the start of a normal day for me. My hair just seemed to have this ability to get this cases of bed head without me even trying.

Well, I just lazily brushed it a little. My hat would do most of the job in hiding it anyway. No need to overexert myself.

After that was done it was time for breakfast. I clutched an open bag of chips and jumped on my couch, while turning on the TV, an invention from those researchers in Canterlot.

Now I was lazily laying on the couch, munching on chips, while watching TV. Granted, there was only three channels at the moment (they were already working on more), giving away the newest news for example, or at least what they considered the newest news. I myself had more insight in news than most ponies. I was in a way the source. Or one of the greatest sources in Equestrian history! A professional journalist. One the likes of Alicorns had to fear!

A special report peeked my interest. Not because I haven’t heard from it, heavens forbid! It was a scandal I blew myself. That’s why I listened intently.

I could see a pony and a gryphon standing in front of one of the numerous G -Taco stores. The G that fills you with glee! 

…

Yeah a flank stupid slogan. I know. I didn’t think of it, so don’t blame me.

“-ith an interview of Taco Tuesday from the G-Taco taco scandal. Sir what do you say to the accusations that you used expired meat in your tacos?”

“I said it once and I will say it again, this is all nothing more than the work of a deceiving, self-centered and narcissistic paparazzi, with no grace, whatsoever, who tries to ruin the life of me to make herself feel better, by distracting herself from their own pathetic life.”

I was scratching my plot, as I shoved another hooffull of chips in my mouth. “Yeah. Buck you too, taco guy! I have more grace than you could ever hope to achieve in your miserable little life with your mansions, personal servants and all that nonsense! You probably can’t even wipe your plot without help!” The mental image caused me to guffaw. “That’s what I call pathetic!” 

I laughed at my own statement, as I was munching on some more chips. 

I really like my lifestyle.

The rant then continued for another ten minutes until I was out of insults and personally had to admit, that I needed to go off the couch to get to work. I cringed at the thought to meet the senior today. He was really pissed about the taco story, since his daughter is into this guy. Reason enough for me not be thrilled about work today, but avoiding the inevitable was just plain stupid and not an option.

I could only expect the worst and hope for the best.





After galloping through the streets of Manehattan (I have to keep myself in shape to outrun guards after all. What? Did you think you could blow a scandal without taking a risk?) I finally stood in front of the old stone building. ‘Equestrian Times’ could be read engraved on big metallic letters at the front. Some might think it was too tacky or pompous, but I personally kind of liked it. Why hide behind small and inconspicuous letters when you know that you are great? But enough of that.

Now or never.

The best thing I could do at this moment was walking in like nothing happened at all. Personally I didn’t do anything wrong anyway. I just did my job. Not my fault the senior is such a flank hole. So I will just make my entrance as usual. And so that’s what I did.

I marched in as if I owned the place, which I will in the future. I mean I AM Press Pass!

“Hey! Snappy Scoop! Made any good snaps lately?”

“Jo! Sourpuss! Still in a sour mood I see!”

“Eff stop! Have you finally stopped to eff and blind?”

“Tracy Flash aka Shutterfly! Have you finally decided which name to go by? No? I see! Well, some have a mid-life crisis and you have an identity crisis! But I can’t really be mad at you. You just aren’t the brightest bulb around here so you probably can’t help it!

She said something angrily under her breath along the lines of: “Shutterfly is my second name.” But I didn’t pay her any heed.

I moved along and ignored all the glares I got. I smiled contently. This is just the way it is supposed to be. Not that everypony glared at me, mind you. It’s just that, if you are as famous and special as me, some ponies can’t help but feel jealous! But it’s nothing I can’t deal with. I’m used to it after all.

The weight of being a celebrity.

I finally reached my desk and let myself fall onto my padded stool. 

Seems like I have mastered the first hurdle.

“Morning, Pressie. The senior wants to see you.”

I groaned and didn’t even bestir to turn around as I pounded my head on my desk.

“What does that old bugger want now?” I asked frustrated, not even bothering to greet my colleague.

I turned my head in his direction. It was Nightjar, a well-built Pegasus with a black mane, tail and beard, a light grey coat, glasses and a black t-shirt. He really stood out like a sore thumb. He was huge and bulky compared to the average pony.

“I have no idea. But don’t worry too much about it. It can’t be that bad.”

“You can talk! You didn’t blow the taco scandal about that loser of his daughter’s fiancé!”

“You might be right about that. And if I think about it, parents usually tend to be rather protective of their kids.”

“Gee, thanks for the pep talk! That is helping me quite a LOT!” I retorted sarcastically as I lifted my head off my desk. The last thing I needed was him, telling me how bucked I was.

“Heh, sorry about that,” he said as he rubbed the back of his head. After that he then got a glint in his eyes. I already had my instincts set to flight, since I knew what would come.

“You know. Now that we are talking about family…” Oh, please no. “How are you holding up? Any new stallions or mares in your life?” He winked.

And I groaned, as I faceplanted on my desk yet again. A visible dent in the rough shape of my face was already formed on it. It was a constant reminder that I had to deal with his nonsense on a daily basis.

“A family would only pull me down!” I lamented, trying to find some comfort in the hard wood of my desk. Some ponies might have seen this as whining, though.

“Look at me! Is it pulling me down?” He asked with a way too wide grin. The exact type of grin which I despise so much.

I lifted my head from the desk to face him. “Didn’t you give up your dreams of a musical career because you needed a steady income?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Doesn’t keep me from working here,” he retorted casually, before he got a toothy grin, “or from having a family.”

I deadpanned as I lifted my head up to face him once more. “Your marefriend takes care of your foal.”

He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

Ha! Got you now bugger.

He then flashed me a smile again. “Your stallion could take care of it.”

“Tsk. As if a relationship alone wasn’t time consuming AND complicated enough. I want to focus on my career, and said career is going downhill at the moment. You know that the taco scandal wasn’t the only problem lately.”

My colleague then studied my coat for a moment, completely ignoring my prior statement, as he pointed a hoof at the vestiges of my breakfast.

“You know, I have still the hope that a stallion or a mare might cure you from your unhealthy lifestyle.”

I just snorted at that. He was a real moralizer.

What was wrong with chips for breakfast? Seriously.

I then smirked devilishly, as a retort for that statement came to my mind. “What? You saying I’m fat?” 

Let me explain. He sees himself as a real gentlecolt and that is why he would never ask a lady her weight. An easy-to-use weakness.

He tried to stutter a response, but decided then to stop his mouth and to look away sheepishly instead, contemplating his next words very carefully. 

This was just too easy.

“PRESS PASS!” I suddenly heard the senior shout from across the room, as he was standing at the threshold of his opened office door. “GET YOUR FLANK HERE IMMEDIATELY!”

“Great. Can’t waste anymore time here or this old squaller is going to light a fire under my flank.”

My colleague just gave me a reassuring nod. “Can’t be that bad. I bet my shirt on it.”

I laughed a humorless laugh, as I turned to walk away, not even bothering to look his way, as I answered, “That’s a bet you are going to lose.”

I then stopped in front of the open door to the senior’s office and sighed.

“Let’s get this over with.”





“I have to do a WHAT?!”

My scream of indignation was gathering some attention, as I could clearly see some of my colleagues watching through the large glass windows. Senior Editor prevented any further starring by closing the shutters.

He was an Earth Pony with a brown coat and a black mane, which already grew gray on his sides. He also sported a mustache on his upper lip. His look just screamed flankhole boss.

He looked me straight in the eyes, as he answered, “A traveler’s guide for the Crystal Empire.”

I just looked at him in further indignation. A traveler’s guide was for rookies! Losers with no ambition and no real goals in life! Some loners who sit on the couch in the mornings and munching on chips, while watching TV! Not like her! 

…

OK! But you still know what I mean! I AM Press Pass. I revealed the embezzlement of subsidies meant for education! I revealed the affair of the Storm family! I broke into Canterlot Palace repeatedly! Not some rookie!

“I have better things to do than a traveller’s guide! I’m sooo close on a story and you know it!”

The senior just shot me a disapproving glare from his spot.

“I think it is best to leave this case to the hoofs of another.”

“Another?” I scoffed as I rolled my eyes. “Please. Who could possibly be up to the task other than me?”

"“Action Shot."

I slammed my hooves on his desk and leaned over, my mouth forming to a threatening snarl of indignation. 

Yep. A lot of indignation here. But I had a good reason for it.

“ACTION SHOT! THAT ROOKIE?!”

See? A good reason. A rookie like her should get tasked with rookie tasks. She would only ruin this!

The senior stood up and leaned over the table, mimicking me, as if to demonstrate his dominance and defend his rule in his small office.

“Action Shot made some nice shots of the changeling invasion. And she is the sister of Big Shot. I think she is more than up to the job. Even more so than you.”

“Oh, you mean because she is the sister from Big Shot? The hippie who is still believing in Sasquatch? And is shooting animals like small cute bunnies for a living?”

“Big Shot is shooting all kinds of dangerous creatures. Not only the harmless ones. And by the way, the rabbit you are referring to was a jackalope! Those are very rare animals. They normally are really shy and avoid the contact to ponies. Most ponies without a cutie mark for animal caring can only dream to ever meet one! And even if you have one, that is no guarantee to actually meet one! So his skills are undeniable. As to his believes… heck it is his life! And I’m not judging him. There were times where jackalopes were once a myth too! Maybe he will really find one, one day! You shouldn’t underestimate him, nor his sister. She will fill in for you just nicely.”

“Horseapples! I can do the job tenfold better than her! She is incompetent and can’t even tie her own shoes!”

“She doesn’t have any, just like you” he said deadpanned.

“I could give her some and show you that she in fact can’t tie them!”

“Uh-huh. And you can?”

“Yes! I have AND can tie shoes. I’m the fastest in tying shoes in all of Manehattan, no, all of Equestria, and am with that your best bet for a successful story!”

He started to rub his temples. “And what does this have to do with anything?”

“I have a pair for sneaking and implemented stowage for inkpots! The best means for self-defense! It is therefore essential for the success of the mission! She will only get caught if things get too heated. And trust me, they always get too heated. Without this skill she will get caught! And I highly doubt she has the experience to break out of a prison cell.”

“I doubt that things will end up like that,” he shot back sarcastically. “Action Shot is going to take over your case. End of discussion.”

“B-b-b-but-“

“No buts! Personally I have enough of your bickering. You were once a good journalist, but your hayday is over! Either accept it or perish! I’m no longer tolerating your whims!” He started to lean in closer and was just inches away from my face. “Did I make myself clear?”

I glared defiantly. “Crystal clear.”

“Good. Your train is leaving in an hour. So pack up and go.”

I didn’t even bother to nod nor to say my goodbyes as I left his office.

My feet took me relatively fast back to my desk as I stomped hard on the ground in rage. I grabbed my stuff just as Nightjar walked up to me.

“How did it go?” he asked in his usually enthusiastic voice, which I could have also interpreted as sarcasm. Everypony in the office could see by my stomping how it went. But I knew Nightjar good enough to know, that he was just oblivious.

So I just shot him a death glare. Being oblivious was not a good excuse after all.

“This old coot sends me to the Crystal Empire to write a traveler’s guide!”

He simply smiled at me, that idiot. “And this is a bad thing? I heard that the Crystal Empire is breathtaking at this time of year. Vacation is hardly a punishment at all. You need to start to relax, Pressie.”

Let it be known that he is the only one in my department who has the permission to call me that. Despite being a huge pain in the flank sometimes, he is still a good friend of mine. Believe it or not, me ranting at him was quite normal. He took it in stride, when I was in such a mood, knowing well that I didn’t mean the things I said. That’s why he usually kept his cool and this helped me cool down too. So I took my anger out on him more often than I should have.

I then stood up defiantly and inched my face closer to his, a stern look on my face and whined. “I was so close! So close on a scandal which could have turned my bad luck around! But now that…that sister of FEATHERBRAIN is taking it over!”

His cool demeanor vanished slightly at that and he took the role of a strict teacher instead.

“I’m a Pegasus too, as well as my daughter, you know? You really shouldn’t use such expressions. It’s discriminating. What would Zipporwhill say if she heard her godaunt use such words.”

I sighed and hung my head slightly in shame. This was probably the only thing I had to avoid in his presence, and as much as it hurt me to say it…he was right.

“Yeah…I know. It’s just so infuriating! I was working so hard for it! Using all my contacts and pulling some all-nighter’s even! And now they are taking it from me!”

Nightjar shot me a reassuring smile. “Hey. I know that you can make an even better story than her. A lot bigger than anything all the others here could pull off. You have the abilities to pull through this crisis and get stronger through it than you have been before. I mean you are Press Pass after all, right?”

I sighed in defeat, before I let a slight smile tug on my lips. “Yeah…right. But you still owe me your shirt!”

He laughed heartedly. “That’s the spirit!” After that was said he pulled his black shirt over his head and gave it to me.

“You know my dresser is bulging at the seams with your shirts. Maybe you should stop betting your own shirts so often. I don’t think Helia likes the idea that your whole wardrobe is stashed in my dresser.”

Nightjar just waved dismissively. “Don’t worry about it! My wife is fully supporting this!”

I just shook my head. “THAT just sounded so wrong. You know that, right?” A devious smile began to creep on my face. “Maybe I should discuss that matter with her directly.”

After a small nervous laugh and him stuttering his way out of my verbal trap we said our goodbyes. I had a train to catch after all.

I didn’t hear Nightjar mutter, as I stepped out of his reach.

“How am I going to explain another lost shirt to my wife? Maybe the ‘a-dog-has-eaten-my-shirt- excuse’ still works?”





I looked out of the window on my comfortable seat in the train to the Crystal Empire. My suitcase was occupying the seat beside me. The snowfall outside the window was a clear indication that I was getting closer to my destination, and I already formed some plans inside my head.

Cadance or Shining Armor probably have plenty of skeletons in their closet. Of course they are well hidden and I need to advance in their private chambers, which means essentially breaking into the Crystal Castle, a building I never entered before and where I don’t know the layout of, and I didn’t even account the unknown abilities of the crystal guards there. Who knows if they are as easily deceived like the Canterlot ones? Best thing would be to observe the guards first, as well as use my press pass (don’t laugh) to get a tour through the castle.

Huh. Pretending to make the traveler’s guide might actually come in handy. It’s the perfect cover! I can’t wait to see the frowns on their faces! Not only the one on Cadance, but from Senior Editor as well! I’m feeling giddy just at the thought. He wronged me and he is going to regret that!

I sighed dreamily.

“Just like Nightjar said! I’m not going to give up. This is a chance and I’m going to use it! I can get stronger and milk this situation for all it is worth, finding out every little dirty secret of the Crystal Empire! Cause I am Press Pass! Be prepared! I’m on my way to show you losers what a real journalist can do!”

With the spirit of optimism followed a catchy tune. I felt it. A heart song was incoming. I decided to let myself be swept away with it. No use in fighting something. Especially since I felt so relieved.

The window is open, so’s that door
Press Pass won’t wait anymore
Who knew this was such a shiny place?
I’m stepping out into the town
And I know who’s going to frown
Finally I’m blowing up a scandal

There’ll be actual real live scandals
This scandal is totally out of range
But wow, am I so ready for this to change

Cause for the first time in forever
My name will be known throughout town
For the first time in forever
I’ll be making those fools frown

I’m not deflated or turned down
But I’m showing who’s the boss in town
Cause for the first time in forever
I will make them frown

I can’t wait to meet my fate (gasp)
What if I meet… it?

Today imagine me equipped and all
Stealthily leant against the wall
The picture making equipment in my hoof
Ooh! I suddenly see it standing there
The scandal of a lifetime, just right there
I’m gonna stuff some film in my cam

And then I get chased over the roof
Which is totally bizarre
Exactly like the life I’ve lived so far

For the first time in forever
There’ll be scandals on the run
For the first time in forever
I’ll be ruining their fun

And I know it is totally crazy
To dream I’d find the fame
But for the first time in forever
They will all know my na-“

Suddenly the train doors closed. I was standing just outside it, but my suitcase… Well that was a different story.

“Hey! My suitcase!” I complained as the train suddenly dragged it with it, not even considering to let me have my bag.

I could only stare helplessly after it. There even seemed to be a pony hanging helplessly on a train door. I could only make the blob faintly out in the distance. Not that I paid it any heed. I had other problems.

“BUCK!” I cursed, as my mind wandered to my lost equipment. Luckily I didn’t bet my shirt on my suitcase alone. (Nightjar seems to be rubbing off on me, if I start using his stupid phrase by now.)

I quickly took inventory. Needed to make sure I still had some means to fulfill my mission after all.

I slowly lifted my head and pulled some cameras out from under it. Nightjar often mocked me a little, calling me a magician, who could pull cameras out of her hat. Ha ha. Very funny, Nightjar. It didn’t bother me much though. He had a strange sense of humor after all and I got used to it pretty quickly.

I then inspected the camera that was held through a metal contraption neatly around my neck. It was also good to go.

After making sure I had all I needed, I made my way to the Crystal Palace. No need to waste any time, after all. I had a reputation to rebuild!

I just made my way out of the station, when suddenly…

SPLASH!

…an orange Pegasus Pony decided it was a good idea to buck with me. He ran straight in a puddle, which resounded in the mentioned splash and me being soaked on my side. I of course answered this situation with as much eloquence as possible.

"Come back here chicken wing, or I'll feed you to the Griffins!"

Yeah, eloquence in my own way. I remember the one time I swore in ears reach of my godchild, Zipporwhill. She learned more than a few new colorful words on that day. I on the other hand learned how soap tastes.

It doesn’t taste good.

Not even if it is daisy flavor.

A lesson I learned the hard way.

Note to myself: Never anger Helia.

Every time I think about this incident, I swear I could still taste the soap. Ugh. Probably influenced me since the taste didn’t fade for three whole days! Can you imagine everything you eat tasting like soap? It was hard not to throw up every time I started to eat something. 

I avoided Helia for the complete next month, and I would still do it, would it not be for Nightjar and Zipporwhill.

Just between us. She is the one who wears the pants in their family, not Nightjar. 

Ugh. Another clothing idiom. I really need to distance myself from him more often, or one day I might even start wearing shirts! Well, I already have a dresser full of it, now that I think about it…

I just shook my head.

Stupid.

And there was something else. Now that I thought about it. Something quite strange, if I think about the puddle.

It was the only puddle around. Everything else was dry. It didn’t look like it had rained recently. This could only mean…

I angrily squinted at the heaven, gesturing with my hoof to my eyes, and then to the heaven in a silent threat.

And decided then that a silent threat wouldn’t be enough.

“Yo, big guy! Better watch your writing up there, or I might make a home visit again!”

Suddenly the world around me seemed to shudder. I took that as my cue to continue. He understood, and that’s all I could ask for at the moment.

I walked along the road once again, but personally I might as well check in a hotel now to get cleaned up. I could look out for the obnoxious orange guard afterwards.

As I walked further, I attentively observed my surroundings, occasionally looking through windows of the crystal houses on my way. My hoof ready to let my camera shoot, if necessary.

Be always ready. Number one rule of a good scandal journalist.

I then came to a halt, as I spotted a special pony in a building.

General Wate Ain Sea!

A rather interesting development. He was one of the most mysterious celebrities around. A lot of gossip surrounds him about great feasts that he has committed, as well as a tendency to act slowly and casual. But even this didn’t prevent him to have a success rate of one hundred percent of all the special orders he gets from the princesses. I even heard he had once the mission to entice the daughter of the Dragon Lands in order to sweeten a treaty in favor of Equestria! No matter the cost! He seemed to take that quite serious, if the rumors are to be believed. Hay, I don’t want to know what went on in their bedroom that night. I mean, alone because of the size difference. Just, ugh to these rumors. I didn’t need that mental image! But yeah, there is still a leftover spark of curiosity still in me, but that is only natural for a full-blood journalist like me. Hm…now that I think about it…this could still be a nice juicy scandal! Hay, if life gives you lemons, you make lemonade! No matter how depraved the lemons are! 

…What? At least this was no clothing idiom!

But to get back on track. He probably holds a ton of secrets, which only wait to get unraveled! I should definitely look into this too! Who knows if I ever get such a chance again!

I quickly strutted into the building without thinking. My body was faster than my brain because…

…I walked into a spa.

I hate spas.

More than anything.

Even more than broccoli. And broccoli is my number one enemy. Down with broccoli. Celestia knows, if I would rule this dump, I would raise the great age of prohibition. The prohibition of broccoli! 

This also concludes that I would do the same with spas. Don’t ask me why Nightjar is a supporter of this. The old wuss! Just the thought of a hooficure makes me shudder.

So it’s just a waste of money if you ask me. I have my shower and a brush. There is no need for more. Problem here, I couldn’t back out now! This was a chance and I would not just let it slip! Reason enough that I resigned myself to my fate.

I only sighed as I made my way to the counter and tried to act as spa friendly as possible. Don’t want to look suspicious now, right? The General would find me out immediately otherwise. He was no amateur after all.

With a fake smile on my lips I greeted the spa employee. “Hey there. I’m here for a full treatment. Probably would do wonders for my mane too.”

The one behind the counter gasped dramatically. “Diz not a mane! Diz is a bird’s nest!” She then ushered me forceful into the spa area. She then said, that she would get a comb.

She came back with a rake.

I probably should feel insulted right now.

Meh. I really don’t bother to take care of my hair that much, so there is that. And there are far worse things to encounter in a spa.

One of the other spa workers could at least convince her to lay the rake down and at least give the comb a try. I just ignored their ramblings, concentrating on my mission.

And seeing the general walk straight out of the spa. 

Figures.

Frustration was boiling inside me again. I mean, how can I have such a luck, and then at the same time such a misfortune? Finding the legendary general in a spa? Quite the story. He leaves before I can do anything. Not that great.

The hard pulling of the comb through my hair didn’t help matters. I felt like they were trying to pluck every single strand of my mane out! And Nightjar is wondering why I avoid places like this like the plague.

I was by that time thinking about following the General, but just as I thought that, I felt a slight pull on my mane. She was taking something out of it.

“What is thaz?”

I turned my head to look at what she was holding. It were my two deadly weapons for self-defense.

Another mare from the staff took a look at them before a grin formed on her muzzle.

“Those are water blasters,” she said in barely hidden amusement.

Ok, not that deadly, but they were not water blasters! They just looked like it! Fools. But this probably meant that the disguise worked. It was always good to have a trump up one’s sleeve. And my trump were weapons that didn’t look like it. Having the element of surprise is the crucial factor for a swift victory.

That’s why I just ignored their remark and ordered them to return them back to their storage place in my hair. She shuddered at that for some reason. A grimace was already forming on her face at my command. But hey, I might need these, if I get into trouble. Not that anything could go any more wrong than it already has.

But now I digressed, which lead to me groaning inwardly. The general was gone by now. I just had to ask my way around town to find him again. But at this time I should probably prioritize, which story I want to do first. Maybe I sh-

“Hey there! I wondered if I could try out the crystal mud bath.”

I lifted my head at this new voice and saw an unfamiliar Unicorn stallion with a majestic, expensive looking red cape at the counter. 

Huh.

Instantly one question roams my mind.

Who is that guy?





“Would you please follow us, Miss Shine?” asked a guard in a harsh tone.

“Horseapples!” I shouted angrily.

I took a look around me. I was surrounded by three guards with unknown capabilities.

Seems like I have to deal with the crystal guards sooner than expected and it is all Sombra’s fault! How could I have missed THAT! The cape, the crown, the creepy eyes… It was so obvious in hindsight! I should have known. And know, because of my own inattentiveness I was surrounded by a few guards. I had enough luck that the bulk of the guards were after Sombra.

I snarled.

Sombra!

I took a calming breath. My focus had to be on the guards now. I don’t have time for distraction. Who knows how well trained they are after all!

“Please follow us Miss,” repeated a purple crystal guard.

I just stood there defiantly. “And what if I don’t?”

I know, a cliché line, but I wanted to gauge their reaction. Were they getting nervous, angry or stay professional? Would there be a witty retort? I certainly didn’t expect the remark that came, though.

“What should we do now?” asked the purple crystal guard its peers nonplussed. They only looked at him in confusion.

Grey coat answered him. “Why are you asking me this? Ask our Lieutenant!”

“Our Lieutenant just chased after Sombra! What do you expect me to do!?” hissed purple back.

“I don’t know. Maybe use reason?!”

I doubt any of you possess that. Not that I’m complaining. The third blue guard was so captivated by their little argument, that he didn’t pay any attention to me. I meanwhile used the momentum to casually walk away from them.

Crystal guards seem to be idiots!

Of course I made sure I was ready, in case they finally would notice my absence, but that didn’t seem to be the case. I was well out of reach in a short time and ready to pursue my arc nemesis.

Arc nemesis you wonder? Everypony who destroys willingly my cameras becomes my arc nemesis.

Actually, scratch that. Even the ones who unwillingly destroy my camera get verbally slaughtered by me. The rivalry just ends a lot sooner than with most of the willing delinquents, who are more ready for an assault.

I was brought out of my thoughts by the rather rough landing of a guard in front of my hoofs and a shrill girly shriek in the air. I tried to follow the noise with my eyes, only to see the object of my hatred sailing right through the air. Not one to let good opportunities slide, I took out my camera readied it, zoomed in on my victim and…

“Freeze!”

I groaned, as two new guards circled me and stood directly in front of my lens, their spears already pointing at me.

“You are under arrest for assaulting a guard,” said one of the two. I just snorted at that.

“Something funny?” asked one of the unamused guards.

“Yeah. He fell out of the sky. So you can’t blame me for that!” Yeah. Sometimes the truth is the worst answer you can give. The answer that life uses to buck with you in every possible way and position. I’m almost perfect, but not completely, hence me being in a frustrated state might lead to my ramblings being the nails to my own coffin. And those two guards already got into a fighting stance.

But they are nothing I can’t handle.

“Do you really think we would believe such an obvious lie?”

I didn’t even think about answering his question. It would only be a waste of time, and I did not have the time. I had to take a photo of Sombra before he was captured or killed. Preferably the latter. What do you think the picture of him is worth if it is the only one taken before his demise?

I quickly reared on my front hooves, using the momentum to fling the two inkpots from the stowage in my hind shoes in a round line directly to the sides of my head. At the same time I took my blasters in my telekinetic grasp, bringing them likewise to the side of my head. The ink pots were flying towards the blasters and were with a resounding click directly attached to them. With that I was ready to go.

“Ink blasters – Octopus Style!” I roared as I shot at the two annoying guards. One shot, one hit.

“MY EYES!” were they both wailing like little foals on the floor and I just smirked before working my magic to restrain their blind, flailing bodies, before putting their forms with a simple knock on the head to sleep. Afterwards I simply hoisted them with my magic into a bush to hide their unmoving bodies from any curious eyes.

It was too easy.

Those guards were like foals. Take them their sight and they would zip around like a bunch of frightened chicken. Not that I complain. It was easier that way. No need to waste any more resources than needed after all.

I then wiped the little trickle of sweat from my brow. Those guys were heavy after all. Dead weight you could say.

“That took care of them.” I then heard the faint sounds of magic. I turned in the direction and saw Sombra getting embraced in a dark ball, before bouncing to the ground. I could see it bounce a few times after that, as its bouncing brought its height slightly over the height of the buildings, which were blocking my sight. I could see that he was heading to the center of the Crystal Empire. I knew, that I wouldn’t have anymore time and sprinted of towards the palace. Can’t just let this chance go to waste after all.





I was just arriving at the center of the Crystal Empire. And like it seems at the right time. There was a huge gathering of crystal ponies and guards. Most of the guards were placed in front of the Crystal palace and I therefore avoided this specific area and tried to position myself opposite from the palace. I made sure to use the crowd of crystal ponies as a mean to hide myself and to get a good place for the spectacle, which will undoubtedly occur. There were so many guards for a reason. I could already smell the exciting lemony scent of a freshly baked scandal! Yeah, scandals smell and taste lemony. More so the ones on the receiving end. So you could say that the lemons idiom has some truth to it. For myself this is more a refreshing taste, and I was ready to get a good taste of this victory!

As I pressed myself to the front row of the ponies, I could slowly recognize a familiar figure. All too familiar. Actually I would have loved to pound his face right then and there, but I was holding myself back for the photo of the scandal of a lifetime. I must not fall to my mere instincts, which would undoubtedly ruin this moment.

I concentrated on my prey, camera perfectly into position in my blue magical aura and scanning the scene in front of me.

Sombra was conversing with Cadance! This is going to be good!

I already started feeling slightly giddy in anticipation. A notepad levitated out of my hair with a quill. I just had to get every JUICY detail of this conversation noted down!

“And what is this! A heart-shaped butt tattoo? Sorry, but you can’t be serious! Just take a look at me!” He then presented his fangs, while pointing at them. “These make me look like a villain as well as,” he then pointed to his horn, “this nice red little horn,” then he pointed at his coat, “dark sinister fur,” and then he pointed at his flank, as he lifted his cape to present it, “and I don’t even need to tattoo my butt! Just look at my well-toned flank!” He shook his flank enticingly at the princess!

I had to say, he sure was giving me a show.

“Oh yes! Shake your smoking hot flank a little more!” I said ecstatically, drooling slightly, as I was in some kind of half trance, shooting photos all the while. 

The crowd around me meanwhile thinned out a little. The crystal ponies backed away from me. I could see in my peripheral vision, that they stared at me awkwardly and some even with some blushes on their shiny little faces. Wimps.

Even one confused pony raised an eyebrow at me. “What are you looking at?”

Not that I cared. Those ponies just seem to be unable to appreciate the art of this unbelievable, invaluable shots! But what can you expect from Stone Age Ponies? They probably still use flintstones to make fire! Not to mention what they understand by art. Probably stone, pardon crystal wall doodles. Would that make them Crystal Age Ponies? Nah! That doesn’t sound ancient enough for them.

But to get back, I just cheered silently at this whole situation I was in, and spurred him on to continue. “Oh by Celestia! YES! Stick your flank right in the princesses face! Oh my god! YES! I’m so going to get famous all around Equus for this!”

Of course maybe not that silent, but I made sure to be quiet enough, so that only the crowd around me could make it out. Wouldn’t want to interrupt this most scandalous of scenes now, would I?

It then came down to some other interesting events. Fighting! Or more like he annoyed the princess so much with his whole obnoxiousness that she decided to burn him another flank hole. It was actually quite amusing and satisfactory in a way that cannot be properly described. Bonus points for this photos, but I had to admit that his accusations were also quite amusing. I was rolling with laughter on the floor as he accused her of being a tyrant and holding her husband, who he thought was her brother, as a slave. It was quite hard to shoot photos while my sides hurt like crazy from all the laughter, but I still managed. I’m a professional after all.

Huh… Come to think of it, why are there only so few Alicorns? Maybe this means that his claims hold some truth? 

Note to myself: Look into it!

Another interesting thing was that Sombra revealed to have a taste for comics. What a pathetic hobby! But that wasn’t the most interesting thing that happened. The princess herself is nothing more than a huge comic nerd! Of course I will need to gather more concrete evidence later. For now I first had to develop this baby of a film!

Everything just seemed too good to be true. And in the end it was.

Just then I thought it couldn’t get better he pointed a hoof at me.

“Ok, Miss Shine, time to get this party started!”

A few seconds later a few dozen guards were on top of me.

”Horseapples!“ I shouted in indignation as I tried to free myself.

“Yeah! Get her guards!“ I could hear Sombra shout, as he struck some stupid pose to taunt me. “See, Miss Shine?! That’s what you get for taking photos of me!”

I was livid. My face turning a bright red of anger. Steam shooting out of my nostrils. My face a pure mask of unrestrained rage, as I swore him revenge for this.

“BUCK YOU!“ I shouted before guards blocked my view off of him.

“Shadow Ball, Soaring Crystal: Pinball Combo!” was the next thing I could hear slightly muffled under the pile of guards I was lying under.

Suddenly a huge black ball crashed into the pile I was in. I could see it smash my camera on the building behind me. “MY CAMERA!” I shouted, as I watched the ball bouncing off the building before impacting with the palace and bouncing off again. I could only stare helplessly after it, as the guards were slowly getting up and a few more surrounded me, blocking off my exit.

A sudden flash of light then washed over me. It was giving me a rather warm feeling and my coat begun to shine in a rather sparkly fashion. It was way too tacky for me, I wonder how I not puked all other the place at its tackiness, but I had other things to worry about.

I was soon led away by the guards, and rather roughly I might add.

“You can’t do this to me! This is a clear case of guard brutality!” I chastised them, but they didn’t seem to be listening. “I know my rights!” And again I was met with deaf ears.

And that’s how I was led into the palace to be locked away and interrogated.






Back to the present


I sighed.  Enough of all this reminiscent stuff.

I shook my head, before starting to search through my tail.

“Come on. I know you are in there.”

My face lit up immediately as I found the picklock hidden in my tail and soon a grin adorned my face. They might have taken my hat, but they didn’t search my mane and tail. How foolish of them.

I quickly picked the lock and stepped out of my cell. My hat lay together with my shoes simply in a shelf outside the cell. I picked it up and set it back on my head, as well as tie my pair of sneaking shoes on my hoofs.

Pretty stupid of them to just leave it in an open shelf like that in front of the cells, but I was already beyond questioning their stupid actions. Especially since I benefit from them. 

Better to concentrate on the here and now. I was inside the palace now after all! And what better opportunity than fish for some evidence of that comic scandal, as well as for some information on Sombra? I could only hope that he escaped the blast, or else I would have lost my only chance of getting a good shot of him. Of course this sinister thoughts wouldn’t help me now. I had to concentrate.

I slowly made my way to the dungeons entrance, thinking about the mission in front of me.

“Time to roam the palace for a real story!”






POV: Author


A satisfied sigh escaped my lips. I finally managed to get this chapter done. I was still slightly annoyed that I had to write it, but Press Pass would probably leave me alone for now.

I stood up from my bed and made my way to the door and opened it…

…only to get the scare of my life, as Press Pass suddenly stands in front of me.

“Gah!”

I jumped slightly, holding my hand over my bumping heart in my chest. Sweat slowly formed on my brow.

“If you continue on like this, I might end up with a heart attack, like one of my relatives.” I responded still slightly agitated.

“You don’t have a heart condition and a heart attack is not something you can bequeath. So calm down you wimp!”

“I still might get one, if this moves on. But let’s forget about that for now. More importantly, what are you doing here? I hope you were satisfied with my work. You even got your own musical number!”

“My musical number was rudely interrupted and furthermore you caused me some distress in this chapter,” she said, as she started to glare at me.

“Is this still about the puddle? Don’t you think it is possible, that a Crystal Pony was emptying some water for cleaning out of its window?” I sighed as her glare didn’t falter. “I’m not going to change it. But I guess you can have your revenge on the Pegasus later though. Just try to think of it as a struggle, ok? People love struggling. It makes the following victory a lot sweeter!”

She started to smirk. Glad she would fall for such a simple trick.

“Well, glad that you get it know. It must end with me having a victory. What would be the point of the story, if I would come out of it emptyhoofed?” She then squinted her eyes and grimaced, as she took a look at the color of my walls, which were a vibrant yellow.

I grinned satisfactory. “You like it?”

“It is way too early in the day to deal with such a vibrant yellow.”

“Says the yellow Unicorn,” I deadpanned.

“Seriously. You and your obsession with this color. It might be nice, but you are overdoing it.”

“In which way is wearing yellow every single day of my life, painting my room and ATV yellow, eating yellow bananas, as well as buying yellow blankets obsessive?”

…

“Seriously?”

She then shook her head and turned around to leave.

“Just keep my dialogue up and give me some major victory in the next chapter.”

I just stared after her, before sighing.

”She really seems to think that she is the protagonist now.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “Maybe I should have never written this chapter.”
> Chapter 7: It’s Quite Icy Out Here / Have An Ice Day! – The Return Of The Puns! – Ice Edition! (Undedited)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


POV: Leon


There is one thing to say about the frozen tundra. At least I’m convinced it represents that. This is my dream after all, so I can name it whatever I want, and nobody can stop me! Ha!

But to get back on TRACK! Hah, train puns, because I just was PUSHED out of one. The train conductor probably thought I was a real PUSHover! 

Conductor’s still suck by the way. 

I mean, what did I do to him?! THINKING about pushing someone out of a train is nothing bad! It’s all just in my head after all! Hm… Kinda like everything at the moment, so maybe I should have just pushed him out. It’s all just in my head after all. But I’m straying again, aren’t I?

Ok. Third try. This time I’m serious. Promise.

There is one thing about the frozen tundra that really is annoying, it is fucking cold, but hey at least I wasn’t injured, as I fell out of the train. But it was a close call. I almost didn’t manage to use my Shadow Ball for protection. But I guess, I had other problems now. One of it is the use of so many buts in my sentences. If I continue people might doubt my eloquence! Better keep an eye on that. Bu- *cough* However, there was still another problem besides the cold, I was in the middle of the road in a blizzard! (Well, if you could call that a road, since I was technically besides the track of the train.)

So, I might freeze to death here, if I don’t act quickly. And let me tell you a villain doesn’t freeze to death so I needed to act. 

What to do, what to do…

Idea! There was a way to stay warm. A really simple way.

I suddenly hummed a tune and started a slight dance. After all, movement is the best way to keep your warm by low temperatures!



“Bu-, uh, flank~ to the right!” I sang out loud as I was swinging my flank slightly to the rhythm.

“Right ha-, hoof on the waist!” I sang as I did exactly what I said.

“Left hoof straighten out!” I did that too.

“Left!”

I said as I was swinging my flank to the other side.

“Right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left!”

“One, two, one two!”

And that’s how it continued. I was getting into the spirit of things pretty fast, tapping my foot to the rhythm. It was probably a real spectacle. I bet the ponies back there would have gawked at that and would have needed some time to reboot their brains, because they would have FROZEN over!

Gotta love these cold puns. And let me tell you, I have still some left.

Now that I think about this small performance. Maybe it would have been the better reference for my escape. They probably would have gawked there for minutes! Enough for me to run out of the city and hijack the train. And that without this whole Shadow Ball disaster. Though it is good to have a fast escape plan as well up my sleeve.

Hm… Now that I think about it, maybe I should rename the move. Shadow Ball seems rather…I dunno…blunt? Let’s just say it is boring and unoriginal. I mean, nothing against Pokemon (yeah it is an attack in Pokemon and not a means of defensive, so sue me), though I think I can do better than that.

So what to call it?

Aha! Shadow Impact Nullifier! 

…Maybe a little too complicated and too long?

Shadow Core!

Too corey! And yep, I’m still making words up. It’s not like I would meet a pony who would call me out on it. Especially inside my mind.

Ball of darkness!

Too cliché! It sounds like the attack of a cheap villain! And my cape is most certainly not cheap! And the attack is not really an attack. More like the greatest defense throughout the Crystal Empire!

Shadow Shell!

Nah! That would fit the first shadow defense better. You know, the one where my body turned black completely as I was hit by the train?

Black Core!

Nope. Even worse than Shadow Core. And it just sounds ridiculous.

I sighed in defeat. Well, seems like I have to go with the Pokemon one for a little while longer.

And then I noticed something while dancing. I moved my hoof and waited. I did it again and waited. Again and again, but the noise of snipping fingers never came, and it was needed for the performance!

I then FROZE, as I realized the flaw in my show.

I had no fingers…

Throwing my useless appendages to the air and cursing everything that was holy, I fell on my knees. Again. Kind of habit of me as of lately.

I sobbed slightly. “I’m a maimed FREAK!”

And god knows I was. Well, technically not maimed, but I still felt the part with these stumps as appendages. I mean, can you even pick something up with them?

Not that I could dwell on these highly educated thoughts of mine. There was something that was still wrong, something that bugged me…

“Goddammit! It is still cold!”

Yep, the dancing didn’t help, as well as my cape, because it was too short to cloak my body completely.

Come to think of it, why is it so cold? I mean, did they forget to close the window in my hospital room or something? But then again, it is August for christ’s sake! And then again, I’m in a coma and time flows differently while in a dream too. Dreams that take maybe two to eight minutes are equal to eight hours in the real world for example. 

This always annoyed me to no end. I mean, why should dreams only be that short?! That just sucks! Two to eight minutes are hardly enough for a full adventure! How many times had I awoken right when the dream started to get interesting! And the worst part is, that the dream is then lost forever, since you rarely have the same dream twice! So let’s just say: Sandman you suck! I mean, can’t you do your goddamn job right?! Ugh! Really, the nerve! Even God makes a better job than him! And to put it bluntly, he sucks at his job. I mean, there are so much wars going on in this world! You know, the one outside of my mind. So yeah, go figure.

Another shudder run down my spine, as I realized that standing around wouldn’t help my predicament in the slightest. That’s why I took a look around. Not that easy by the way, if a blizzard is aggravating your sight. But with a little concentration I still managed regardless. In which I mean, that my vision somehow seemed to have a zoom effect now as a glow seemed to emit from them. Or a stronger glow than normally if you insist, take your pick. It was a rather interesting super power to say the least, and I was glad that these obnoxious green eyes were good for something other than creeping me out.

As my sight zoomed in on my surroundings I could make out a lot of nothing, to my trepidation. But that was only one side, so I slowly turned around to my left. I could even see the Crystal Empire slightly with my zoom from here! Not that I would just march back there. I need some training first after all. And maybe a plan because of their girly weapon of mass destruction. However, that is after I bring my flank out of the cold, so as not to freeze to death. Would be a rather embarrassing death for a supervillain. Also on a side note I just managed to say flank instead of ass without a hitch. So yay me!

I turned further to the left and then saw a few mountains not that far from the track. But that was not the most interesting sight before me.

“Is that a cave?” I asked in sheer disbelief, as well as relief. I guess the script wants me to go explore that cave then. There are probably some events hidden inside. Maybe I get to slay some monsters and even level up!

I then enthusiastically made my way in direction of the cave, a big smile plastered on my face, while defying the blizzard. My grin only widened as I had another great idea, or more like a great pun!

“Well, I still am going to have an ice day!” Yep. Neither ice nor cold can freeze my puns over! Hah, I’m quite puny, ain’t I?

With that said, it still took me some time until I reached the cave. It was at least a mile away after all, and the blizzard didn’t help matters. Neither did the slope as I reached the foot of the mountain. At least the cave wasn’t that far up. Not a mile after I reached the foot of the mountain I stood in front of its entrance and heaved a sigh of relief, as I strode in and the winds stopped to drag on my clothes like a herd of fangirls screaming my name. Something that will happen in the future, since I’m going to become a famous actor, so it was a good exercise, even if it was just in my mind. 

Gotta thank lucid dreaming for this real live experience though. I mean, I just walked through a blizzard and felt every little squall, as well as I can feel the cave walls here. They feel quite stoney. What do the business guys call such an experience 4D? Because the senses are involved as well? Maybe lucid dreaming would be the key to reach it! I mean, if this dream is anything to go by. Probably should patent it though. Wouldn’t want someone to steal my idea. Oh, I’m so going to get famous with this, and after I’m already famous, it will be a lot easier to get my reputation high as an actor! It was the perfect, foolproof plan!

I was brought out of my thoughts by a sudden movement from my ears. They seemed to have heard something.

Was that a growl?

My face lit up and I was giddy with excitement. The event already started! And I honestly couldn’t help but wonder which terrible creature I have to face! Maybe I could even keep it as a pet afterwards? Think about it! A dangerous lion! Which would fit perfectly with my mane. But on the other ha-, I mean hoof! Well, anyway a mythological creature might be better in this mythological world. I’m not even sure if lions exist here. My mind was not something to sneeze at, and that is why it wouldn’t just pop an unfitting creature in this world. 

My face became even brighter at another idea. Just hold on. What, and let’s say theoretically, what if I face nothing other than a real, fire-breathing dragon! That would be something wouldn’t it? I mean, a dragon as a pet? The pretty pink pony princess would learn to bow before me! I would just march, no ride in on one of these huge creatures and she would fall to her knees begging for forgiveness for her foolishness. Ah, I can already picture it!

Growl!

Oh, right. Dragon taming first, humiliating my rival later.

I could already see something move in the dark. I didn’t concentrate on my eyes though. I wouldn’t want to ruin my surprise after all.

I then heard another growl, as my ears pointed in its reaction. It was quite louder than the last one and pointed out that he was getting closer!

Then I heard slow steps drawing closer and closer. I was as giddy as an anime schoolgirl confession her crush! Abnormal huge eyes sparkling with excitement. (Huh, anime-eyed ponies?) My breath came in quicker too. I just couldn’t hold it in any longer, I wanted to see my new pet! And pat it on its terrifying, scaled head!

Another few steps. He was so close now! It was really hard not to look already in the direction he came from!

And then it stopped. He was really close now! Maybe a few pony-lengths away!

I then turned around with a smile that probably would split my head, if this was not a dream. My eyes fixed itself on its form and-!

…

A fucking white lizard with pink belly and spikes stood in front of me. He was slightly taller than me. 

A WHITE AND PINK LIZARD! PINK! PINK OF ALL COLORS!

I punched a wall out of frustration, hard. 

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-“

Maybe a little too hard. I held the hoof close to my muzzle and blew on it so that the pain would go away. It helped a little, but it didn’t stop the liquid pride from forming in my eyes. It was just a little droplet. Nothing big. So don’t get any wrong ideas.

I then stared at the lizard again. It seemed slightly confused. That little sucker. I sighed. I think this was the biggest disappointment in my entire life. And here I hoped for a dragon…






POV: Fizzle


Things weren’t great for me, and I was so confident at the beginning, when I left the dragons nest and all the other dragons behind. I told them I could do it, that I could fend for myself. That I don’t need them.

But it was a stupid idea to fly north.

The blizzard took me completely by surprise and I still got lucky that I found this cave. I don’t want to think what would have happened if I didn’t find it in time. I mean, I could spy fire, but I still couldn’t fight nature itself. Garble would have laughed if I told him that. Saying something along the lines that real dragons don’t get pushed around by nature. But he never left the nest himself, or at least never went far and stayed always close to it, so he didn’t know. He was just a poser, even though I have to admit, that I never would say that straight to his face. He would just look for a fight afterwards. And truth be told, I’m not a fighter.

One of the reasons I left. I wasn’t one for senseless scuffles.

Well, it was more like he kicked me out of his group to be honest…

But who needs him anyway?! I will survive out here, and then he can’t say things like I’m too soft or I’m not a REAL dragon again! He will see!

A sigh escaped my lips. If only I had some gems left… I ate the last ones a while ago, and here was nothing to hunt either…

I suddenly heard hooves at the entrance of the cave and groaned inwardly.

This was not a good timing. I didn’t want to fight now. I just wanted to take a break from the exhausting trip. And who exactly would be dumb enough to go out in the cold while a blizzard was raging?

…

Besides me, that is.

I sighed. It was probably a pony, if the hoofsounds were anything to go by. I better get ready to scare it off.

I quickly made my way to the entrance of the cave, where I found the pony. It had a dark coat and a red cape, as well as some armor. I tensed slightly as he turned around and I looked him right into his eyes. These eyes seemed to emit venom itself, and it made me shudder.

Why did something like this have to happen to me? Couldn’t it have been a small kitten or a bunny? Then I would at least have a meal!

I was just about to say something, as he slammed his hoof into the cave wall, hard. I winced at this. This seriously looked like it hurt quite a lot and I was glad that he didn’t slam the hoof into me. There was a slight dent in the cave wall after all. My scales would probably have taken some damage by it.

He seemed a bit hurt. His behavior confused me, but I hoped this would make everything easier. It was maybe not honorable to hope he wounded himself enough so I could easily kick him out, but it had to be. Ponies tend to freak out and call the guard on us after all. Or, if they are fit enough, attack without a reason. Ponies can be sometimes as aggressive as dragons.

After a short time he seemed to be back to normal. He even had small tears in his eyes. I couldn’t really blame him.

I probably should stop stalling for now and get to it. Things won’t get done if I just stay around, twiddling my thumbs. Maybe I can talk him out of the cave?

I puffed out my chest as much as possible and took a threatening stance. “Who dares to walk into my ca-“

I was quickly cut off, or I cut myself off as I noticed that the pony was simply ignoring me and walking right past me!

“Wait!” I yelled after him, but he didn’t even turn as he walked deeper into the cave. I hung my head slightly at that.

Figures.

Seems like I lose before it even begins…

I quickly shook my head. NO! I am a dragon! One of the most fierce creatures in the world! I can’t just act like a pushover! Remember that brochure of the Minotaur you saw? He can do that too! If a Minotaur can do that, then you too!

I took a low threatening stance again. My slitted eyes were completely focused on my prey, before I started to recite the fitting and catchy phrase from the brochure.

“Treat me like a pushover, and you’ll get the once over!”






POV: Leon


Nope. Fuck this shit I’m out!

Maybe I will find a real dragon if I go deeper into the cave? Probably. It just had to be. There was no way I would accept a pink lizard as pet. Just no. No. No. No. Nothing Pink. Ugh! My own mind seems to hate me…

Wonder what this says about me.

So in the end I just walked past the lizard. He was yelling something, but I ignored him. My time was too precious to get wasted like that. I wouldn’t earn much XP from such a small fish anyway. I had the concentrate on the big ones.

Everything was going to be fine. I just had to walk further. I would surely find some better event. I mean, there had to be more than one event in this cave right?

Maybe ther-

Bite!

Pain suddenly shot through my body as I turned my head around to face the attacker. I started to scream.

That little bugger bit me into my flank! More like he still has it in his mouth! And it hurts like hell by the way. And his slimy and rough tongue licking around the area made this experience even worse! I feel so dirty right now… Well that was until the pain took the upper ha- hoof again.

“WAHAHA!” I whined as I was running in circles, with the lizards maw tightly closed around my flank.

HE IS GOING TO EAT ME ISN’T HE?!

Rumble!

Oh yeah, that sound came from his stomach by the way. Not the most reassuring of sounds at the moment.

“OH GOD! PLEASE NO-O-O-O!” I whined, as I was shaking my flank in an attempt to get him off. All it did was move its teeth around inside my flesh, which hurt even more, and I started to panic. Or more like getting even panicier.

“CRYSTAL STOMP!” I roared with tears in my eyes, willed to get this little bugger off no matter what.

But of course my aim was slightly off. Not that you could blame me for that. Try aiming while an oversized lizard is munching on your ass! Yeah, you see my problem here.

Instead of the lizard the pillar was rising directly under my hindquarters and I crashed with the lizard still in tow into the ceiling. He let go as his face was also smashed into the ceiling. He was biting my hindquarters, so no surprise there.

Then we both fell to the ground I relatively fast gained my footing again, even though it was slightly shaky. The hit to the head seemed to have the lizard dazed, so I decided to act in a panicky motion, ignoring the pain of my flank.

“Soaring Crystal!”

Yeah, I let a Crystal shoot out slightly slant under him, so that he was flying through the air in a direction away from me. I didn’t want him to recover, so I shot out another crystal from the ground to keep him in the air. I repeated that, again, and again. Actually after half a minute I had a smile on my face. It was a little strained, due to the pain in my flank, but I had fun regardless. It was almost like volleyball or another sport where you have to throw one ball thingy from one side to the other, only that I was playing against myself. It wasn’t bad, since I couldn’t lose against myself. I enjoyed myself that much that I even imitated a sport host voice.

“Leon dashed the ball to one side. But Sombra saw it coming a mile away and counters it with an unimaginable precision! Oh! Leon almost missed the ball! Through that he is coming relatively slow and Sombra has no problem to counter it easily! He dashed the ball again, but Leon is having none of it and responds in kind!”

This is how it pretty much went. I can’t believe that I was frightened by this oversized lizard for even a second. He was pretty much harmless, if you kept him and his sharp teeth at a distance. I winced at the thought of his teeth. I could still feel the bite marks and was sure they would stay. Well, normally stay, but since this was a dream so who knows?

Suddenly I was feeling slightly hot. Not hot like attractive. Not that I’m not an attractive one, but you probably get the picture. It was more like hot hot. I then noticed the flames dancing directly over my head and ducked. Just in case. Of course the target was off already, but I didn’t want to risk anything. Especially not the loss of my majestic mane.

However, more importantly would be where this flames came from. I squinted my eyes and followed the flames to its source. It was the lizard!

Now completely broken from my concentration, I missed to produce another crystal to keep him in the air. Not that I minded it. He would just fall flat on his face and be dazed again. More than enough time t-

All of a sudden my eyes widened in surprise, as he unfolded something from his back.

Wings.

Freaking wings.

…

A lizard that can spout fire and fly?

…

A dragon!

My eyes immediately lit up.

So my mind decided to give me a dragon after all! I only need to do something about the colors and maybe find a way to get him bigger. That would be epic!

I instantly took a stance. You know, the stance you take then you want to show that you are impressed, but not too impressed, so to make clear that you are STILL way above his class, and that he shouldn’t mess with you, AND consider himself lucky that he can even join the ranks of such a great personality!

He landed hard with his feet on the ground. Hard in a way to demonstrate his strength as the ground slightly cracked. I of course kept a straight face, as I quickly made up a script for this scene in my mind, before talking.

“A dragon it is. I didn’t recognize it at first in the darkness of the cave.”

I could see perfectly fine though with my eyes now that I think about it. So they don’t only have a zoom effect. Huh. Useful. His obnoxious pink color probably distracted me then from noticing the obvious. But to get back he didn’t have to know any of that.

He only glared at me. Good, at least he is not charging now.

“I think you have talent, bub. And that is the reason why I will allow you to join my ranks.”

He stared at me confused.

Ok, seemed like I had his full attention, now just to drive this point home…

“As my little pet dragon!” I squeed. 

…

I swear, I have absolutely no idea how I did that. How is squeeing even possible? I don’t know, it just felt so natural… God, no. I feel less villainy now, just like I lost a huge amount of villain points… Well, nobody saw it! No one has to know! Especially not the pretty pony princess. God, I would never hear the end of it from her. Especially after I humiliated her like that in front of her peers.

But to the more important things now. He couldn’t deny my offer. Who wouldn’t want to be the pet of such a gifted Unicorn like me after all?






POV: Fizzle


Dumbfounded probably wouldn’t do my expression justice. I was just offered companionship to get it shattered with the most degrading exclamation for a dragon, or any being for that matter. 

He walked straight past me, thinking that my lack of answer was a way to voice my approval. 

It was not. 

“Come on, my little pet,” he said in a singsong voice before he got a thoughtful look, clicking his tongue. “I think I will call you Draco! That means dragon in another language! Well, if you can trust the movie… However, that’s not important now! We have to find me a magical instructor, so that I can improve my magical capabilities and conquer the Crystal Empire! MUHAHAHAHAHA!”

He stopped shortly, before turning his head. “You coming?”

I just grumbled at that. “I’m no pet.”

The pony got a thoughtful look again. “Well, you are a talking one. So that is definitely an improvement. Maybe I should invent a new word for it, to mark its superiority? Hm… A sapient pet…” The thoughtful look got deeper at that. “Dragon pet!”

“That’s not even a new word.”

“Aww. You are right. How about scaleriffic!”

“What does that have to do with it?”

He scowled. “You are right again. Well, at least you seem to be a bright one, my little super pet! Get it? Super like superiority?”

I deadpanned. “Um… That’s not a new word either… I think?”

“Argh! I just refer to you as Draco, the little dragon. There! Stupid naming…” He grumbled the last part, before turning away and walking, expecting me to follow.

Not that I could. He didn’t seem to call the guards, but degrading me into a pet was even worse! The strange naming and degrading words like ‘little’ didn’t defuse the situation either. I had to stand my ground. No dragon, or probably even pony would respect me, if I was to give into his ridiculous demands. So I didn’t. I had to fight. Not that I liked it, but to solve it peacefully wasn’t an option now. I just can’t get degraded like this, so I have to do something about him.






POV: Leon


I just walked on, but I soon noticed the distinct lack of my little dragon. I turned around to see him with a defiant look on his face and scoffed, as he attempted to go into battle mode.

“Please, little dragon. I can beat you in my SLEET!” 

He blinked at that. “What?” 

I blinked then too, not expecting a question. I expected more something like, you know, praise for my wittiness? Well, maybe he missed the pun? 

“It is a pun! You know, because sleet sounds like sleep?” Perfect explanation. I had to beam. He had to be pretty dense not to get that, and the heaven knows my pet is intelligent and not some sort of uneducated ruffian after all!

I stared at him expectantly, waiting for the incoming praise, before remembering to keep my professionalism and turn my nose (or probably snout now?) up in the air, while closing my eyes. The praise would now rain down on me every minute. A well earned praise by the way.

… 

I opened one eye slightly, as the time went on, and I somehow missed the gushing that was supposed to follow after the script I wrote in my head. Draco seemed rather bemused for some point.

“…What is a pun?” A vein appeared comically on my head, as I started to glare at him with an intensity, which would put the Terminator to shame.

…

Fuck it. I will just pound some education into him!

“I will pound some education into your thick skull!”

Huh. Probably sounds strange, if you would write the action after you have written the exact same thing as a thought. Never met or more like read an Author who did that. Maybe I could sell this as a new style of writing? Probably too small for that, but I should keep it in mind. A new money pool for my career!

“I’d like to see you try,” he snarled.

We slowly circled each other in some kind of western showdown. A tumbleweed would be very appropriate right now, but we are in an icy tundra, alas no tumbleweed. Kind of a shame. But let’s get back to the duel. I already had an idea on how to win it.

“Oh, hey look! Isn’t that a whole bunch of treasure?!” I shouted, standing on both hindhooves, while using the other two on the left and right side of my head for shouting. You know the shouting gesture? Anyway, this made my act a whole lot more believable. Surely he would fall for it!

…And he just cocked his head in confusion.

“We just came from that direction, and there is no treasure,” he said slightly unsure.

I just facepal- hooved. Smacking my hoof with full force in my face.

A hoof.

Hooves are hard.

And I did that with full force.

Go figure.

…

So yeah, it hurt like hell and I kind of knocked me down to the floor. I missed the dragon wincing, as I was rolling on the floor, while clutching my face with my hooves in pain.

“God! My beautiful face!” I whined.

My little dragon was polite enough to wait until I regained my focus.

Ha! That’s my pet for you! So polite and obedient! I let out a dreamy sigh.

Then I stood up, I tried to regain my composure. Little Draco seemed to wince as he looked at my face.

“That’s an ugly imprint,” he whispered. It was low enough, that it slipped my attention.

Before he could do any more my horn glowed and I roared, “Crystal Stomp!”

He barely dodged the assault, and seemed to get into an offensive stance. And so our fight began.

While I was shooting crystals from the ground which even reached and impaled the ceiling, letting it get cracked a little, Draco went with fire breathing and, if he came near enough, tried to claw at me. I of course used ‘Soaring Crystal’ as a defense, then he managed once to get close enough. Truth be told, I had no idea how my ‘Shadow Ball’ would deal with sharp damage, since it was a squeezeable ball. Maybe sharp claws could slice through it like a knife would through butter and I definitely didn’t want to take the risk.

Draco let out a roar, as he tried to get close to me again, and I used my crystals as shield.

Should I give it a name? Crystal Shield? It is nothing more than a ‘Soaring Crystal’ attack and doesn’t look like a pillar, like the ‘Crystal Stomp’. Maybe I could develop the form and make a new technique out of it? That might actually work. I need to do that, once my dragon taming is over, or once I find a magical instructor.

I distanced him again, with a few crystal attacks, and tried then to use the crystals to end this little revolt quickly. He was a little on the clumsy side, but still managed to avoid the attacks, albeit with no elegance. This will need some serious work.

It was after the, ‘I neglected to count after eight’ crystal that I could hear a cracking sound. Draco seemed to have missed it, since he was still fully focused on me.

Then a loud crack run through the cave and everything seemed to collapse.






POV: Fizzle


I growled fiercely at my opponent. The dark grey Unicorn was a better fighter than I thought. Not that I was any good and would have the experience to measure it, but dragons should normally beat ponies without problems, no matter the experience.

This will stay a secret.

If I told any dragons about this fight, then I would be laughed at, even if I now win it! Too long did it take. I really need to finish it now.

Crack!

Everything seemed to go rather fast then. I looked up, to see the ceiling coming for me. And I knew in this moment, that my life was over. I simply had no time to avoid the falling debris. 

Heh, never thought it would end like that.

In this moment I regretted not to have become a great and fierce dragon, like I planned. I really wanted to show them! To be accepted! Not be frowned upon! To belong! Just to…have a place I could call home! A family! But it didn’t matter now.

I was about to peacefully close my eyes, as I heard the Unicorn roar something. It was lost on me, as the loud thundering of cracking and falling stone seemed to surpass it. I then noticed that a strange dark crystal shot slant over my head, just as I was about the get squashed by a large rock. It seemed to hold the stone off somehow, but soon cracked. I then found myself in the hooves of the Unicorn, as he was standing on his hindhooves and shaking me. He noticed the cracks too and his horn glowed. We were engulfed in a black mass and suddenly moved violently within it.

It all seemed so surreal, just like a dream. Next thing I know is that we came to a halt and the mass disappeared, leaving me laying on the cold cave floor. I looked up to meet the standing Unicorn towering over me, a confident smirk on his face. I could only look on in awe at him, even more so as I slowly processed what had happened.

He had saved me. Me, the one who attacked him. He didn’t even hesitate and saved my life. No one cared ever if I lived or died. Dragons had to fight for their own life’s. We didn’t know sympathy. It was our way. The dragon’s way. Never to show kindness. And yet he did. And as a pony to a dragon no less. He showed true strength, in more than one way. More than I have ever seen in my entire life.

I wanted that strength too. I wanted him to show me his ways. To be an honorable dragon. And so I bowed before him.






POV: Leon


Phew! That was a close call! Glad I could use my abilities and wit to prevent my pet from becoming a pancake. The combo, used twice in such a short time, deemed itself useful. It was the perfect escape plan. Well, perfect, if it wasn’t for the spinning. I really hated that.

As I dissipated the ball, I made to stand before my little dragon, taking a proud stance. He looked at me in awe, his eyes seemed to shimmer with admiration and I basked in it.

After a while he suddenly bowed respectfully.

“Please show me how to gain your strength! I want to be as strong and honorable as you!” The dragon spouted out, slightly insecure of himself. Not that I could blame him. Who wouldn’t be insecure in a presence as grand as mine!

I smiled down at him.

“Raise, Draco. You shall serve me and help me take back what was once mine.”

The dragon did so, and I turned around walking deeper into the cave. The entrance was blocked with debris after all, and I needed to find a new way out. Not that it should be a problem. There was probably an entrance the other direction, with another event maybe.

Draco soon followed closely behind me, before speaking up insecurely.

“Um… My real name is Fizzle…”

I waved him off. “Whatever. There is something more important first. Be a dear and change colors.” 

“Um…only chameleons do that.”

I rubbed my chin in thought as I stopped my movement for a moment. “Huh… That might be a problem.”





We walked rather peacefully along the cave. Fizzle (a better name than Draco in my opinion) inquired about some of my goals and other general questions about me.

I made it clear to him that I was a villain. Something he had trouble to belief by the way. After an thorough explanation about the importance of a villain, which consists of being one of the most important elements of a story, ‘cause let’s face it, a hero can only exist, if he has a villain to fight against, or a problem to solve. 

Most stories go with a villain for a reason. And some even go as far as to say a hero is only as good as its villain.

Fizzle understood and I could see newfound determination in his eyes. He himself never thought of it like that and started to appreciate the role on my side. Even though he didn’t like the title pet or the word little. At least he said so. Not that it would deter me. I wanted to think of a better name for that anyway.

Also an interesting thing to mention, he will stay by my side because he owes me his life. Said something about a dragon code and honor. Meh. As long as he follows me I don’t question it. I just wonder if he has the possibility to leave me after saving my life, or more like, IF he could save my life. I mean, sure he had more DEF points than the average pony, but he was still nothing than a teenager. Also a fact that I found out after I inquired about his height.

I also told him that pink is not a color he should look like, because it is simply girly. He lacked the vocabulary however, and so I went to explain what girly means, and why exactly it was girly. It went like this: “Ever seen a male wear pink?” He shook his head. “Ever seen a female wear pink?” He shook his head again. I then found out that this was the first time he left his home, and duh, he has only heard about clothes, but nether walked into someone wearing it! Dragons don’t wear clothes obviously. Well, neither do most ponies. The pink pony princess didn’t wear anything either besides her royal regalia, damn nudists, and god knows, she could have used it to hide her obnoxious pink coat.

But to get back on topic, I probably had to be glad, that he even knew what clothing was. He seemed to have overheard bits of information from some older dragons, listening to some of their tales. He was probably one of the more educated dragons where he was from, and seeing his low education that is a pathetic display for the dragon education. And now I had to take up the slack. I obviously started to educate my dragon with the most important knowledge he will ever need in his whole entire life: puns.

“So a pun is a play of words in a humorous way?” asked the dragon slightly curious.

“That’s right! Just because villains are COLD towards others, doesn’t mean we can’t be humorous!”

Fizzle brightened at that, as he got the pun right off the bat. He is a fast learner.

Well, he is my dragon after all. A creation of my mind no less. So it was kinda expected.

“And what was this, I can beat you in my sleet, or sleep then?”

I sighed. He never heard of idioms either, well more for me to explain then.

“It’s called idiom, an expression whose meaning is not predictable from the usual meanings of its constituent elements. I can beat you in my sleep expresses your superiority towards another being by saying, that the difference in power is so grand, that you couldn’t lose the fight, even if you slept right through it. There are quite a lot of idioms, but don’t you worry, I will teach them to you. I can’t have my right hand, or claw in this case be uneducated. And right hand means that you are the second in command and an important part of an organization. Well, if you could call our little group of two that.”

The dragon nodded excitedly at that, and I smiled at that. It pleased me to see that he was such an eager learner too.

“Good thing we broke the ice now. Oh! And breaking the ice mea-“

But I cut myself off, just as we turned around a corner and came into a large cave room with a huge ceiling and treasure! Gold coins, gems, swords, crowns, scepters… You name it, we have it! I could only stare at the massive amount of treasure in awe. 

To top it all off, we seemed to be near another entrance, if the light on the other side of the room, which lit the room was anything to go by.

“I’m rich! The equipment I can buy from this!” I cheered, as I approached the mountain of treasure. Fizzle however seemed quite nervous and looked frantically around. I didn’t mind it as I climbed onto the mountain of gold and fell on my back, trying to do a snow angel. It was kind of weird. My legs didn’t seem to bend in such a good way, which made it quite the task, but I managed, once I got over it.

“Um… Leon?”

“Woohoo! What will I buy first? An army of evil minions? A giant robot? Or maybe the whole Crystal Empire? Would definitely spare me a lot of time. Though buying would be legal. I need it to be illegal. I can’t ruin my reputation after all.”

“Maybe we should leave,” said Fizzle in a hushed whisper.

I could only blew a raspberry at his cowardly behavior. “Don’t tell me you are a scaredy cat? I might as well call you Fluffy, the pink dragon! Would you want that?”

“Well, no. But-“

“No buts!” I then proceed to set a golden crown on my head. I managed it with two hooves, even though it was a slightly taxing task, but hey, double crown power! I then concentrated back on my dragon. “More importantly, how do I look like?” I started posing on two hindhooves. Standing sideways, while pointing one hoof forwards, while the other was on my hip. I held my head slightly higher.

Roar!

Whelp. Fizzle was about to answer me, but that really loud roar cut him off. I could see the scared look on his face and gulped slightly, as a large shadow covered me. I then turned around and looked at the large form of a dragon. Yep. It was a ‘Without-a-doubt-kickass-dragon’, not something like Fizzle.

He was a royal red color, no pink! His enormous wings were tucked to his sides and his spikes looked to be rather sharp, as were his teeth which he was showing us in a TOOTHY snarl.

Yeah, can’t really lose my humor, even in this situation. It is a good thing too. Wetting yourself would reach nothing anyways.

I stared up at him with awe. “So that’s what a real dragon looks like?”

“But I’m a real dragon too!” Fizzle started to protest, temporarily forgetting his fear.

I simply rolled my eyes at the small sized dragon. “Oh, hush you!”

Let’s be honest, a large or XXL sized dragon was something he could not compete with. Not to mention the color difference…

Damn. I know really want that dragon. Maybe we can switch characters? I would rather have this death machine as a dragon pet, than Fluffy here.

Understandably I pointed that out, of course minding my fellow pet’s feelings. I’m a sensitive guy after all.

“Wow! You would be a better fit for the position of my right hoof than Fizzle here. Want to take his position?” I questioned with a cheery tone my voice.

“Eh?! B-But what about me?!” asked Fluffy shocked.

“I’m sure you will find another one to follow around, Fluffy.” 

The face of the little dragon fell and he seemed completely dejected, as he mulled it over. Though his expression soon hardened.

“Y-You hay eater!”

I rolled my eyes. If he wanted to insult me, then he has a lot to learn. I mean, seriously, hay eater? There wasn’t an insult that was more pathetic. Time to show him how it’s done right!

“Lizard!”

Fluffy seemed taken aback for a moment, before he composed himself and continued his verbal onslaught.

“Horn head!”

“Oversized toucan!”

“Creepy eyed dumbflank pony!”

I proceeded to fall on my knees. Best thing is to just stop counting, since this happens quite often lately.

“God, why does it always have to be the eyes? Life is so cruel!”

Fluffy almost seemed sympathetic towards me, the wuss. If I were him, I would have used the situation to my advantage and punched him straight in the face.

“SILENCE!” the REAL dragon suddenly roared. He probably got tired of our arguing. We both quickly shut our mouths with a snap, before we directed our eyes toward this giant of a dragon, waiting for what he had to say with bated breaths. “How dare you entering my lair!”

“Well, to be honest, it is just an old cave.”

“SILENCE! Or do you have a death wish?”

I shivered slightly. He was serious and this made me slightly nervous. Hell knows that I would have trouble fighting a full grown dragon. Little Fizzle here caused me enough problems, so I probably can’t take on a fully grown one just now. I mean, alone the size difference shows how much stronger he is compared to Fizzle. Fizzle is an ant, well not quite an ant, but a critter compared to him. He could gobble him up without a problem. Huh, maybe this could be a solution. But before I could go more into that line of thought our real dragon spoke up again.

“Good. Now let me introduce myself, I am Draco! And I’m in fact of a lineage o-“

“Draco? Wow. That’s a dumb name!”

“But you gave me the exact name not too long ago!” Fizzle protested.

“I did, but only because I couldn’t think of anything better.”

“So you would have given me a ridiculous name, because you couldn’t think of something better?!”

“Yes.”

Somehow he seemed to be offended by that answer, for whatever reason.

“HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM ABOUT THAT?!”

I blinked confused. “Calm about what? You act like I had done something ridiculous.”

“BECAUSE YOU DID!”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. The only ridiculous thing here is the big guy’s name.” I stopped before thinking of another important point in the discussion. “Oh, and your pink coloration.”

“My coloration is not weird! Your eyes are!”

“SILENCE! YOU INSOLENT FOOLS!” Draco *snicker* roared, but this time a lot louder. It made my ears ring and I had to wonder why I had to endure such a thing in my dream, especially since I felt like my eardrums were busted by this.

If only ponies could speak so loudly! That definitely would give me some form of authority. Just think about it! Me yelling with that volume at the pink pony princess. Loud enough that her wig (‘cause let’s face it her hair coloration has three colors and looks pretty cheap, so that it has to be one) would fly off her head and she would have to crawl down at my feet! Ah. Such daydreams really bring a smile to my face. Also *snicker* a dream in a dream! Funny thing that.

Not so funny was the big guys face. He looked like he would hit the roof any minute now. Man, I miss the roof puns. Maybe I should look for one? Nah, better keep my focus now, since a vein, which is testament to the dragons rage appeared comically on his head. Oh boy. This meant trouble.

“I have quite enough of your charades! Maybe I should have you for dinner! It has been a while since I got my last taste of pony, even though I personally prefer the tender flesh of females!” He suddenly started to ponder, laying on of his clawed fingers on his chin. “Ah, I remember the last female ponies which crossed my path. They were quite the beauties, especially the rainbow one. I always like the feisty ones who put up a fight. Those well-formed muscles of hers were a real eye catcher! Wonder if she would mind me watching her work-out. You on the other claw look like you can’t put up much of a fight. And if it comes to a meal, you seem to be too much skins and bones.”

Wait… Did this tomboy-lusting-pervert just insult me?!

“I will let you know that I have a good figure with tender muscles, thank you very much,” I huffed, before continuing on. I lifted my cape and stuck my a-, um, flank in the air. “Just look at that tender flank! This is the tastiest you will ever get. It is so well toned and tender. No steak could compare to it!”

…And for some reason the dragon started to smirk.

“Then I will just eat you, if you truly are as much of a feast, as you let on!”

I paled a little at that. “Wait! Eat him!” I pointed at Fizzle, who sputtered in utter disbelief.

“WHY ME?!”

“Because he tastes better and is even more te-“ My eyes widened at the blasphemy I almost committed. “No he is not! I’m definitely the tastier one and the one with the better figure, but eat him anyway!” Puh, that was a close save! Can’t just label this lizard better than me now, right? My figure was really pristine, as was my fur and mane, blasphemy to all who deny my body being the ultimate feast for the eyes!

“You just admitted that you were tastier! If anything he should eat you!” My little companion pointed out. That little traitor.

“I’m too good looking too die! Oh, and too young too!”

“I’m not that old either!”

“Your loss then! Didn’t you want to serve me? Then do so and be a nice little snack for him!”

“ENOUGH!” Exclaimed our name weirdo, as he then growled loudly and spouted fire at us.

I dove directly behind a rock, while Fizzle just stood there with fright, as the flames washed over him. I was sure that this was it for him, but against all hopes, he didn’t seem to be affected. And here I hoped he would act as a cooked steak for the angry dragon… Except he is a dragon himself, and can you even cook highly fire resistant meat? Huh… Now I want to test that theory with a volcano…

Focus, Leon! If you make it out of there, then you can test it, if you come across a smaller dragon (Fluffy will die anyway) again. So just try to get out of there alive!

Ok, thinking. I need a distraction! Where is Miss Shine, when you need her? I really wished I could hear her annoying camera snapping sound again… Well, I have to do without it then.

“Look! Isn’t that a steak?!” I yelled, as I pointed to the other side of the room, opposite to the entrance I had to reach. But I started to sweat bullets, since this tactic didn’t work on Fizzle, so it was likely, that it wouldn’t work on the big guy.

Yeah, this is never going to work.

“A steak?” asked the big idiot, as he turned around to look at the direction I pointed at. 

I myself just got a toothy grin. Big jocks like him really are idiots! Well, this is my mind, so I probably should have expected it. But no time to lose, so I started running straight for the exit.

“Every stallion for himself!” I shouted, as I ran away. Fizzle just looked at me with utter disbelief.

“EH?!” he managed to yell out. Not that I cared. If he is too slow to follow he can be a snack for the dragon. I mean, sure that would be some form of cannibalism, but I honestly didn’t care. I had to survive to fulfil my role! He was the supporting actor that could die, not me!

I was so close to the entrance. Nothing could stop me now, just a few metres…

Slam!

And suddenly my world was completely red. Not red like, I was bleeding profusely, no, more like, heavily red because of a wall of red scaly flesh blocking my entrance, the dragons tail.

“Did you really think you could just get away from me? Do I really look like a fool to you?”

I mulled his words over, before replying rather nonchalantly. “Yeah, kind of.” 

I probably should have clarified that this was the answer to his first question.

Even though the second one still might hold merit, if you consider he fell for my distraction…

Well, no need to cry over spilled milk. Even though I will admit, I wouldn’t mind some at this moment. I need to keep myself and my bones healthy after all. A little growth spurt could never harm. Especially with this doping giants.

The dragon took predictably offense in my answer and attacked me with its claws. I formed a wall of crystal, but it couldn’t withstand the force and power of his mighty claws and shattered, so that I was flung across the room and against a wall. I moaned in pain as I hit it, and did even more so as gravity took a hold of me and slammed me into the floor, albeit a lot softer than the dragons hit.

“Fuck…” I managed to croak out, as I stood up again. Not one of the easiest things to do I might add. My body hurt, and I will admit, that I probably won’t survive five or six of those hits. And this estimate was rounded up! 

Some people might find that lame, but it’s not like I was some ridiculous character from a show who could just get beaten almost to death, only to be reminded of something sentimental and THEN stand up and win the fight, like I had NO injury AT ALL! Seriously, I always found that ridiculous. Either you are completely beaten up with your HP so low that it is over, then you don’t stand up again, or you are not, but then you have no right to lay longer on the ground than ten seconds flat.

Oh well, I probably should try to dodge the attacks then. My crystals could be bursted by the little Taurus, a fully grown dragon would easily slice through them with ease. So…what do I do now?

First thing was dodging it seems. I tried to run and duck under its claw swipes, trying to use the stony terrain to my advantage. I often dived behind rocks to obscure his view of me, but these were soon destroyed. I tried to make crystals for cover, but he swiped them away faster then I could produce them. And with such ease! Unnecessary to say that I couldn’t hide and dodge forever. So I needed a way to move its tail out of the way, so that I could escape. It would be foolish to try and take down such a high leveled boss on my own after all.

Well, even if Fluffy there, who was hiding all the time would help, I still wouldn’t stand a chance. But he was weak anyway and such a coward, so I couldn’t count on him. 

So now to the important question: How to move that tail…

Idea! I singsonged in my mind.

“Crystal Stomp: Multiple Edition!” I roared, as I concentrated my magic to magic (just deal with me using the same word twice since I had other problems now than fearing for my eloquence) two pillars (higher success rate, since my accuracy declines greatly, the more pillars I try) out of the ground under his tail. One pillar was to my own disappointment slightly off and only brushed it. The other on the other hoof was extremely accurate.

Seems like Draco didn’t expect that too, as his tail was lifted he lost his balance and fell like a sack of potatoes.

Red ones.

…

Yeah, there are red potatoes. Look it up! There are even violet ones.

Huh… Wondering why almost nobody seems to sell them? I mean, they taste great!

…

Yeah, better get back to RUNNING this show! Because that’s exactly what I did, as soon as its tail was lifted!

As Draco fell, he hit his head on the cave wall and the ground shook slightly. I could also see Fizzle following me now out of the cave. 

Useless dweeb.

ROAR!

…And Draco seems to be even more pissed now. I could already hear his form stamping right behind us. I didn’t want to turn around. Would be stupid to do that by the way. I mean, who would want to stumble now? And running forwards while looking behind you just screamed stupid. Especially if I saw already the light! I mean, who would do tha-

“Oof!”

My thoughts were interrupted as something fell straight in my way and I started to roll along with it on the floor.

Let me elaborate. Seems like there was one thing I didn’t calculate. Fizzle. He was dumber than a cow who was led to a butcher with the sweet promise of a better life. As I was running, he managed to pass me. You know, wings and all? Seemed like he wanted to look behind him while flying and somehow stumbled in midair.

…

HOW DO YOU STUMBLE IN MIDAIR! Ugh! Incompetence!

His form of course crashed in me, as I was too dazed by this stupidity to avoid him in time.

As the ball of our entangled two forms came to a stop, we were just barely outside of the cave. At least a small victory, but Draco here was already staring down at our combined forms with an intense glare that screamed ‘bloody murder’. However, the bump on his head kind of ruined it for me. It looked like he had grown a third horn, so that I had to hold back a snicker. And I was terrible at doing that, only infuriating the large killing machine more.

He was already preparing to end us, or at least me, with his fire breath.

I needed a solution, fast.

He wouldn’t fall twice for the same trick. I was sure of it, even if he was an idiot. So what can I do besides crystals?

Shadow protection?

Wait! Didn’t I call myself manipulator of shadows earlier? Maybe I can do more than just to form shadows around me for protection. I could probably bend them to my will!

I gazed down at the ground the dragon was standing on and smirked. He really casts a giant shadow!

Now to the magic!

I concentrated, letting my horn glow its eerie color as I closed my eyes. Don’t want to get distracted by that color after all, while trying out a new spell. I concentrated to let the shadow spring to life and bind him down with dozens of tendrils. It was more than likely, that it wouldn’t restrain him forever, but all I needed was some time to run and hide.

So just come and pull him down to the ground you stupid shadow!

Squawk!

That sound let me crack an eye open in caution.

Did it work?

As I looked upon the form of the dragon my other eye fluttered open almost immediately. I almost couldn’t believe them, for eye (that pun had to be) saw the dragon slowly sinking into a pool of darkness!

He was so startled by it that he blew a huge pillar of fire straight into the night sky, like a beacon, while flaying helplessly with his claws and tail.

I watched on in awe as the huge dragon slowly was dragged into the ground, screaming in horror.

And like a little girl.

I didn’t notice Fizzle staring at the spectacle in awe, and I honestly didn’t care. He was enough trouble as it is.

Soon the dragon was completely engulfed. He breathed one last time before nothing remained of him and the ground turned back to normal. I could only think of one thing to say.

“Ice-talavista, baby.”






POV: Press Pass


I was watching out of the window of the driver cabin. Now I was glad that I took the lessons to work such an engine. But it might have some repercussions. Stealing a train from the guard’s right in front of their captain? Yeah, I probably shouldn’t enter the Crystal Empire for a while, or when only in disguise. He might be resentful since I shamed him quite a bit. Well, I had my reasons. I needed to track that blasted Sombra down!

I was brought out of my ramblings by a pillar of fire in the distant mountains.

A grin formed on my face.

“There you are!” I exclaimed in triumph.

Sure, some might wonder how I might know that this pillar indicated his position, but my intuition told me so, and I just listen to it. And to be honest, it made sense that he would try to confuse the guards by leaving the train early. It would take some time to find out.

It had nothing to do that it was my only clue to his whereabouts, and that otherwise I had to search for the famous needle in the haystack.

Nope, nothing at all. My intuition just told me he was there. And every good Journalist has one. This means the hippy and his sister don’t have one. Still, this terrain was familiar.

I took out a map of a holder on the side and opened it with my magic, peering on it for the location I had in mind. It was just as I thought. There was this village. This might get interesting. I could just snatch the scandal from her, while at the same time capturing Sombra on film!

This would be a great boost for my career once again! I only had to protect my last camera. Things would look dark if I lost it. Maybe I could buy another in the village?

Pfffft! They probably don’t even have ones. This village lies at the flank end of nowhere after all. 

Well, no need to rack my brain over it now.

With that said, or thought, I focused myself back on the engine, a clear destination in mind.

I failed to notice the pair of eyes staring at me right from the inside of my saddlebags.
> Chapter 8: Fetch Doggie! (Unedited)
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


POV: Leon


Here we were now. In front of the cave entrance. A large footprint the only thing that hinted at the once large-sized dragon that had occupied this cave. We were standing a good minute or two there, staring in awe at my handiwork. I briefly considered if this technique was viewed as cheating and would lead to an absence of precious EXP.

I shrugged, nothing I could do about it now.

My little dragon seemingly found just in that moment his ability to speak again, his expression was still one of surprise and dumbstruckness.

Yup, still coining words. I’m the coining words master!

“I thought you would abandon me. But you all had this planned from the beginning! You just wanted to confuse him to find a way out of the cave, so that you could use your spell on him, without him collapsing the cavern!”

The dragon’s voice had a lot of awe and cheerfulness by the end of his conclusion of my great master plan.

Admittedly not really what I had planned. Or it isn’t like I had any other plan, other than letting him eat Fizzle to get away myself, so… not really what I had planned at all, even though it was brilliant… Hm… This gets me thinking. What if I just play along with this? He then probably won’t ever question me again and will hang to my every word. This gives me new possibilities. I might just ditch him once I find a better dragon or use him as a distraction if things go south. I’m a goddamn genius!

“Of course! This was my grand scheme! This foolish ridiculous named dragon didn’t even stand a chance against my wit!”

And here is the gleam in his eyes again. Or is it more like a sparkling of stars? No matter what it is, he seems to buy it. Maybe now I will get the praise I deserve!

“Wow! That is so cool! And you were thinking this plan up on the spot!”

I grinned at the eagerly worshipping dragon. “Yeah, I know. I’m a fast thinker, if I do say so myself. The whole argument between us was also just a distraction to trigger my glorious plan. Additionally to that it confused the dragon so that he let his guard down and allowed our escape, which was nothing more than another trick to lead him into a trap! And now his cave as well as his treasures are mine!”

By the end of my little speech my chest puffed with confidence, as I basked in the little dragon’s praise and worshipping.

Huh. Maybe having him around isn’t going to be so bad.

“Apropos treasure. This might help my endeavor in conquering the Crystal Empire. I probably could hire some professional mercenaries with it, as well as buy some equipment and potions! Seems like the pretty pink pony princess won’t stand a chance against me now! Muhahahahaha!”

With a toothy grin, I turned around back to the cave entrance to examine my loot, but also to warm my hindquarters, ‘cause let’s face it, I’m outside in the cold, and even if the snow storm isn’t as strong as he used to be, it still didn’t change the fact that the cold could be dangerous to me.

I turned around to…scream in frustration. 

“WHAT THE HELL?!” I screamed as I looked upon the buried cave entrance. I saw some claw marks on one or two of the stones, indicating that my so called master plan didn’t quite went as I hoped. And it was pretty obvious who’s fault that was.

“God dammit, Fizzle! If you hadn’t run into me, I would have been able to get the dragon a good distance away from the cave!”

The dragon meanwhile sunk his head in shame, muttering an apology. I just rubbed the bridge of my…nose, snout? Well, I rubbed it with one hoof. It somehow worked, don’t ask me how, but still… I miss fingers…

However, now I had another concern.

“Why does it have to be so cold! This is just snow much!” I giggled a little at my pun, but soon composed myself as another cold breeze washed over my clothes and fur and made me shiver.

I looked back at the moping and depressed dragon, rolling my eyes at his antics. He really is a doormat.

“We don’t have time for this! We need to stay warm, or else we might as well just skip to the ‘Game Over’ part. And since I don’t know how many life’s I have, I don’t want to test that out.”

My dragon pet adopted another confused look. Well, at least that one’s better than the depressed one.

Hold on a second… He is a dragon, so couldn’t he just make a fire to keep us warm until the small storm blows over? Might as well ask.

“Say Fizzle, is it possible for you to produce a steady flame with your breath, as some kind of campfire? It’s not like we have any wood to work with.” And it was true. We only had a landscape of mountains to our left and right, topped off with a thick layer of as-, uh, flank freezing snow.

I sighed. At the other entrance, we would have the woods in reach, but here? Actually I don’t even know where here is. Probably deep into the mountains. Too deep. Wonder if anyone lives here? Maybe a mountain town? Better put these thoughts on hold and listen to my dragon first, before I go off on a tangent again and might not even need it.

In the end I probably need it. I already saw it by the way his head sunk again.

“I can’t exactly do that. Fire uses a lot of magic and a steady stream wouldn’t hold more than two or three minutes.”

I nodded my head in response. “I see. Then we have to use Plan B.”

The dragon slightly tilted his head. “Plan B?”

“A good old-fashioned search for shelter and civilization. Do you know of any settlements here?”

The dragon sunk his head again. 

This is going to be a thing now, is it?

“I’m coming from the south and know nothing of this territory.”

“What about your wings? Can you fly up and see if any shelter is nearby?”

The dragon tried to move its wings but winced upon trying to move the muscles of his left one.

“I think I strained my wing while I crashed into you.”

I groaned disappointedly. “Figures. Then let’s get moving, before we become icicles in this cold unforgiving winds.”

The dragon nodded again and followed me. The cheerfulness from earlier vanished and a slight depression seemed to take its place. Not that I could blame him. He is at the moment pretty useless.






Some time later


“I think I see something!” I scream over the suddenly worsening snow storm to my dragon pet.

In any other situation I would have been more cheerful, but now I was just desperate for shelter. The cold was slowly nagging on me and I swear I was slowly losing the feeling in my hooves. I didn’t even think I had enough feeling in them to lose it! Fizzle didn’t seem in a much better condition, but that was a given, thinking about how he said himself that he came from the south, and south definitely didn’t sound like a cold place.

“What is it?” asked my now curious dragon.

“Looks like a house to me!”

Yeah, I kid you not. There was a house against the wall of the mountain. I couldn’t make out anything more specific, even with my enchanted eyes, worsening snow storm and all, but it seemed promising.

Not to mention convenient. But that’s a game event to you.

Naturally we all but stormed to the house. It seemed to be made out of some kind of rocks. It looked like an ok build. Not so much aesthetic as it was sturdy. Probably was only meant to keep the cold out. Not that I’m going to complain now about how it looks! The cold changed my priority list in that regard.

As we stepped up to the equally sturdy looking wooden door I stopped my pet.

“You stay out of sight for now. I don’t want our potential savior or host to slam the door right in our combined snouts, or muzzles, whatever.”

And it was the best thing to do. From our conversation I could see that dragons and ponies don’t exactly live hand in hand, or in this case hoof in claw.

The dragon nodded and stepped aside so that he would stand next to the door on a wall, hidden out of sight.

I then hurriedly knocked on the door, hoping that whoever owned this place was home. I mean sure, it was a snow storm so why wouldn’t they be there? But still for all I know they could be on vacation and this was therefore meant to be a squatter event.

My thoughts were disrupted as the door swung open. Out stepped a rather bizarre creature. I mean, it was gigantic! At least a head taller than me! Maybe even two! Not to mention the abundance on fur! It was a lot longer than my coat! 

This gargantuan beast started to look down at me, leveling a glare at me for some reason. I didn’t really pay it any heed. I just said the first thing that came to my mind.

“That’s a big doggie.”

Before I could even comprehend what happened, the door slammed shut loudly. I owlishly blinked at the door wondering why the huge doggie slammed it in my face.

“I think you insulted the Diamond Dog,” came the not so helpful conclusion of my pet. 

I blew a raspberry at him. “Pfffft. I did do none of these things! I merely mentioned the height of it!”

My pet didn’t comment on my response further and saw it fit to keep his trap shut. So, I continued.

“There is only one explanation why it slammed the door in my face.” I then took a deep breath before letting a loud shout break free of my lungs, “RACIST!”

The door opened almost instantly and I was suddenly lifted up by my neck. The dog then proceeded to draw me close to its face, leveling a deathly death glare towards me.

My mind was meanwhile racing to comprehend the situation.

ACK! Is this some form of greeting? I better show that I’m friendly. What do dogs as a sign of affection again?

Ah, now I got it!

I then darted my tongue out as our muzzles were almost touching and licked it on its nose like a dog would do back home to others, thinking it might be a friendly greeting between dogs. I mean sniffing at the posterior or tail base wasn’t an option in my current situation. It’s posterior was unreachable.

Huh, still not a bad idea either. Better note it for later use.

But to get back, it suddenly started blushing and let out a girly shriek, which is why I will refer to it as she for now, until I get corrected or proven right, probably the latter as I know myself. SHE then dropped me suddenly and stumbled back, subsequently falling on her…flank? No. Uh…let’s just say posterior for now.

I took her behavior as a good sign and started to grin.

Now let’s seal the deal.

I reached up with my hooves to her ears, determined to give her the ear scratching of her life. Well, until I noticed something…

…I proceeded to fall to my knees.

“Oh god. Why do I have to live without fingers! From all the worse things that could happen, this is the. Worst. Possible. Thing!” I wailed.

So much to my ear scratching plan. And it was such a good one too! Ear scratching was, if I remember it correctly a show of affection you give to your pets, which these greatly enjoy if the rumors are to be believed. It also would have shown that I mean no harm, but alas it was not meant to be…

Also couldn’t be sure that I was right.

I mean I never really got a pet...

No, Leon! It is a great responsibility you can’t have one! It would only distract you from your studies! Not to mention the many hairs it would let loose in our home! The horror!

Thanks mom and dad for telling me I was irresponsible, easily distractible and stupid enough not to warrant to get a pet!

I could have taken care of it, but I never even got the chance to prove it! It was always this commanding tone of them… Do this and that, oh but whatever you do don’t have fun! Of course things got better and we made arrangements that benefited both parties, but still…

…I never got that dog.

On a side note I wouldn’t mind a hug right about now…

While I was fighting my childhood trauma, still sobbing on my knees, though not because of the missing fingers at the moment, Fizzle was watching my acting with awe. “He is putting on an utterly pathetic display to gain the sympathy of this Diamond Dog. Maybe even trying to appeal to her motherly instincts, if she is a lonely being which is possible, since she is living here. What a marvelous strategy.” I taught him the word marvelous by the way. He needs to get more eloquent, just in case he stays with me longer than planned. 

However I didn’t really hear his praise as I was trapped in my state of self-pity.

The doggie meanwhile gathered her wits and stood back up. She looked down on me, her look a cross between confusion, anger and embarrassment. Her anger and embarrassment then turned into more confusion as she heard Fizzle talk and spotted him.

He waved his claw awkwardly at her, that idiot.

So here are we now. I on my knees wallowing in self-pity, Fizzle waving awkwardly and the still blushing dog that has no idea what exactly is going on, or how to proceed for that matter.

I could understand that. I have no idea how high the standard for crazy is around here, but it probably wasn’t high enough, if her countenance was anything to go by. Probably didn’t get much visitors either. I mean, she lived at the arse end of nowhere.

The awkward silence was finally broken as I finally got my own wit back. I was still a little depressed so my voice came out a little meek and helpless.

“Uhm…we need some shelter from the blizzard,” was my short response to my situation.

The dog seemed to mull this over for a moment before responding.

“There is a little town in that direction. It is maybe a fifteen minute march,” She pointed to her right. “You two can seek there for shelter.”

“That’s too far! I will die out there in the cold before I reach it!” I exclaimed in shock and utter horror, not wanting to stay another minute out in the cold, not to mention full fifteen minutes!

“Please. We really need help,” said my little pet, as he stepped forward, giving her an adorable show as he wrapped his arms around himself and shivered. 

This seemed to push her over the edge. She seemed to mull it over again and then sighed as she relented.

“Fine. I will let you stay the night,” she said, before her gaze for some unfathomable reason hardened on me, “But don’t try anything stupid!”

We both just nodded happily in sync.

“My name is Explosive by the way, short Ex.”

I immediately gained a huge toothy grin.

“You remind me of my EX!” was my oh so wistful exclamation. Wonder how much she enjoys my puns?

…

…She immediately tried to slam the door again. 

“Wait! I didn’t mean it like that! Also you wouldn’t want to be responsible for our deaths, right?”

She mulled that over for a moment. I of course was quite shocked that she even considered that notion.

After noticing my aghast expression she smirked. Figures that she would be a huge jerk.

She then turned to my dragon, giving him a warm smile. She was about to converse with him, when I locked on my target.

Might as well go all the way.

Suddenly the doggie jumped high into the air, hitting her head on the doorframe and then falling on her posterior, while her cheeks flushed a deep red yet again. I took that opportunity to walk through the door and passed her.

“W-what d-do you t-think y-y-you are d-doing?!” she shouted indignantly.

I looked over my shoulder. “Just making myself at home, now that the procedures are done.”

She sat on the ground with her tail clammed protectively between her legs.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT! Y-YOU J-J-JUST, JUST-!”

I only blinked confusedly at her. “I what?”

“YOU JUST SNIFFED MY BUTT!”

“So?”

“SO?! WHAT THE BUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” she asked enraged and flustered.

“That was just a normal procedure. A sign of good will to show you that I mean no harm.”

She only looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

“And with that good will, I WILLed you to let me in!” I exclaimed proudly.

I could suddenly hear my dragon pet clapping from outside the door. An obedient pet. I told him to show me respect and cheer and clap for me from time to time to give me the recognition I deserve. The tough crowds nowadays are hard enough on me and I deserve a treat every once in a while.

I turned up my nose with a smug smile. “Thank you, thank you!”

Of course I wanted to see if the doggie would finally give me some recognition too, but she only tilted her head, face still red, but as confused as ever, before frowning. Seems like she finally got it.

An equally frowny frown formed on my face as I turned away from her and ventured further inside her home with an indignant huff.

“Stupid, pun hating dog,” I grumbled. 

She didn’t seem to hear me, or didn’t care. But seriously, you have to be outright EVIL to hate puns! And even more so to consider leaving me out to die here! However, I had more pressing matters now.

Grumble!

I needed some nourishment to keep myself going. Funny that I feel the need to eat and drink in a dream. I mean, I was practically starving! It was so incredibly realistic! If I didn’t knew better I would really assume that I was in magical pony land with pink pony princesses and heart-shaped rainbow spouting weapons!

…

…But I knew better! So screw you brain for trying to deceive me like this!

“Come on in already Fizzle and help me to scavenge this place for food!” I hollered over my shoulder, or whatever the pony equivalent of a shoulder was.

My pet complied and walked past the still slightly stunned doggie.

We began our search on the main floor. I could see a living room to my right with a table and a few chairs, as well as a few cabinets with picture frames on it. A younger self of the doggie was on it, as well as another figure that seemed more masculine in appearance, also a dog. This dog had a more grayish fur, in contrast to the female doggie with her brown fur and orange highlights.

My glance soon wandered to the right, a moderately sized kitchen with cupboards a sink and an old stove were there. And I mean old. As I got there to examine it I found out that it has to be fired with wood! And now that I think about it…the light source here seemed to be some kind of glowing stones…or crystals? It was hard to tell with the light glaring from them and obscuring a more educated view. They also didn’t look like they were connected to any form of electricity.

Oh, god. I fear the implication this has on the sanitary. With my luck it is going to be a pit latrine! An honest-to-god pit latrine! That’s nothing more than a hole in the ground! Some might now ask if I have to use the toilet in a dream, but at this point I’m not going to exclude ANYTHING! The whole be prepared for everything schtick, even for a barby-thin pink pony princess with a heart tattoo on her flank and a husband with a girly pink magical aura.

Seriously, how he can even sustain his masculinity with such a trait is a real mystery to me.

Anyway, I also feel like I could use a bath right about know. I was sweating out there while freezing half to death. And anyone knows that it is the worst to disgustingly sweat while you are freezing your ass off. I also think my cape needs to be put in the laundry. Well, if that doggy even has one that is. I saw a cloth rack to my left as I went in, but only some belts hung there with flasks. And if this strange anthro female dog thing only wears belts she might not even have a laundry!

Yeah, I was really in a bad position right now.

Grumble!

Whatever! Food now, laundry and bath later!

“Um, I think I found the pantry.”

“Good work my loyal pet!” the dragon smiled sheepishly at me, “Now let’s see what we have here to fea-“ my words pretty much got caught in my throat as I saw pretty much…stones. Yup. A lot of the pantry was filled with stones. Sure, there was an occasional bundle of carrots, potatoes or celery thrown into the mix, but that was still kind of…underwhelming.

“Oh well, it is better than nothing,” I said nodding my head. I might somehow be able to cook something with that…if I could cook.

Stupid Joel always told me not taking part in a cooking class would bite me back in my arse.

Yeah, I ALMOST am INCLINED to agree. But only almost.

Also a shadow now towered over me. I turned around to see my doggy glaring down at me for some reason.

Seems like she finally got her marbles together again. I was almost in the most minimal of ways having a teensy bit of worry that I might have broken her. I mean, I still wanted a dog after all the years my parents denied it. And what better pet than one so large and one that can even talk at that! Yes, fate must love me to pieces!

Oh wait, she is talking. I probably should listen to what my pet has to say.

“-ouching. Do you understand?”

“…Yes, totally.”

“You didn’t listen, did you?”

“Nope!”

My pet doggy groaned rubbing her forehead with a paw.

“Just keep your hooves of my stuff…and me. Then we won’t have a problem.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound like the most inviting thing to say, but I can comply. At least if you make something yummy for my tummy. I mean I’m starving here! And I would be less fidgety if I was satisfied in that department!” I then sniffed my coat, scrunching up my face, “And a hot bath would be lovely too.”

She growled in warning as well as in annoyance, “If you want a bath, you will have to heat it yourself. I rather get back to making dinner.”

Geez. She is quite the grumpy one…wait, heating? She doesn’t mean to tell me that there is really no flowing water around here?! I mean, I don’t want to heat my bath! I just want to bath! I mean, does this mean I have to gather snow outside just so I can draw a bath then?! God! I never wondered how one could bath in the mountains without proper plumbing! How am I supposed to bath now?!

Maybe the town nearby has a bathhouse? That might be a solution. Maybe some hot springs? This would be heavenly! I could also look for some books there, but that would also mean to postpone my bath… Yeah, I’m not mentally prepared to see the nightmare that is this bathroom. Better postpone it.

With a nod to myself I wandered around, noting the fireplace I overlooked the first time. It was up and running, giving off a nice warmth and making me hum as I was drawn to it like a moth to the flame. At least without the agonizing electrocution death part.

I sat down in front of it, soaking in the incredible warmth, and enjoying it with every fiber of my being. I definitely need such a thing sometime in my future home. Just watching the fire dance around while it is warming me is quite a nice thing to have.

I actually don’t know how long I was sitting there, resting my thoughts. Could have been a bit. It was quite soothing after all, but I was eventually drawn out of it by a specific doggy.

“Dinner’s ready!” Ex had hollered, making me perk my ears up.

Yeah, I really could use some food right about now.

I all too hastily scrambled up and sprinted with all the eloquence of a gazelle to the table. Fizzle was there too already and jumped up in a chair.

Jumped up because you see…the stool was akin to a bar stool. So, it was meant for doggies height-wise and not for teenage dragons or ponies. Well, it wasn’t that high. I mean, my chin was in one line with the plushy seat, so only a small climb, but still a climb none the less.

I could also already see the steam wafting from the plates on the table. A table which of course also was a tad high. Not that it was a problem though! I totally got this!

With that thought I put my two front legs on that seat and…dunno…did something?

I was a bit confused and tried to climb, trying and flailing with my hindlegs to push myself up, while pulling with my frontlegs.

It is hard to explain really. I mean, try to climb a barstool with hooves and then we can talk.

It was rather annoying, and a real challenge so much I can tell you as I was pushing and pulling, trying every angle.

“J-Just a little!” I huffed and puffed in clear exertion as I was fighting against this truly formidable foe! I was just this close to succeeding! I swear!

My dog suddenly groaned in annoyance before I felt two furry arms slip under my forehooves and lift me into the air like a common pet!

I struggled a bit, clearly stating my discomfort at being manhandled in such a manner.

“Stay still!” she complained before smacking my rump down on the stool with a bit too much force making me whine.

“That wasn’t necessary!” I lamented with a stuck out lower lip.

The rude doggy simply snorted, “Sure,” before muttering under her breath, “Ponies.”

Yup. My doggy was totally a racist. I will have to train her. Makes me wonder if she has a leash laying around here, but then again, food first. I am way too hungry to discipline her now, so I glanced at the meal our dear doggy has cooked up.

It was a vegetable…stone soup? Wait…soup stones? I think I have heard that somewhere once, but can’t recall where. When again, I shouldn’t worry too much about it. Sting nettle soup is a thing too after all, just as pizza stones, so there are weirder things out there. Not to mention that the soup looked quite tasty with its large chunks of vegetables and I couldn’t wait to dig in! Though I had a problem, or maybe a question? The question in itself being quite an easy one. Well, technically that is.

How do I eat with hooves?

I looked to the other two beings at the table to see how they did it.

…I then noticed I they had fingers.

Yeah, I would have fallen to my knees wasn’t it for me sitting on a large stool like I did. Instead I tried to think on it. I mean, I could use magic.

…Which would probably destroy this home. Yeah, not an option. I remember the last time I tried a levitation spell.

COUGH! Crystal Spa. COUGH!

…Anyway, so I had to count on my wits to solve this mystery.

I looked at the spoon lying on the table, before reaching out with my hoof, hovering it over it, and then trying to grab it.

It didn’t work.

I was pawing at it. Again and again. But the spoon wasn’t moving. It was just mocking me! Silently laughing at me! I could practically hear it! By the tenth try I was glaring all too heatedly at the utensil that was blocking me from satisfying my painful stomach growls.

A cough draw my attention, making me notice that both Ex and Fizzle were looking at me in clear confusion.

“Stop looking at me! It’s not my fault that I’m not really in tune with my magic as of now and that I can’t seem to actually hold anything with these useless stumps!”

My female canine pet raised a questioning or maybe even a sceptic brow! Does she mock me?!

I crossed my hooves in a show of clear displeasure at her disrespect, while at the same time turning my head away from her and up in the air. Which kind of rhymes by the way. But the more important thing was that I was thinking that I might as well give her the silence treatment! You know, to show her!

Much to my disappointment she didn’t seem to care as my eye glimpsed a look at her.

She was still staring at me…which might be because my stomach was growling every ten seconds in a fierce protest to be filled.

This went on for another half a minute before she stood up with a sigh and walked right by my side.

I raised a questioning brow before I saw her take the spoon, before dunking it into the soup on my plate, gathering vegetables on it just as well as the soup, before lifting it again and bringing it closer to my impeccable face.

Realization dawned on me, and like one would accept, I acted all too mature.

I turned my head away with a manly huff, “I can eat myself. Thank you very much!”

“Don’t be stubborn. I doggynally would prefer to get this done so I can get back to my own plate.”

“I refuse! I’m not getting fed by another being! I couldn’t possibly survive the disgrace!”

“Just accept my help!” she irritatedly grumped out.

“NO!”

I of course vehemently protested as she neared with the spoon yet again. I mean, do I look like a foal?!

“I’m no foal!” I quite eloquently countered her attempts, making her growl in annoyance.

“You are sure behaving like one! Either you start opening your muzzle, or I will annoy you with choo choo noises until you do!”

I gasped in clear indignation, “You wouldn’t dare!”

“I dare and I would! So open up!”

My gaze wandered to the spoon, to the displeased face of my rude host, before settling on the spoon again, thinking about my non-existent options. After letting out a defeated sigh I relented. Opening my muzzle hesitantly as I felt a spoon of soup being fed to me by my doggy.

I was certain my blush only deepened with each spoon, especially as my dragon pet stole glances between us, while I always ended his glances with a fierce glare. That sadly of course didn’t deter him from peeking every now and then.

I think I was never more embarrassed in my entire life.

…The soup was still tasty though.

Also really helped with warming one up.

Nevertheless I was quite relieved when the bowl finally was emptied and I was thoroughly fed.

After the deed was done I couldn’t help but give my doggy a thankful as well as embarrassed smile.

Surprisingly enough she scratched her cheek with one of her paw-fingers and looked in a different direction, seemingly uncomfortable with the face I made at her.

Not that I couldn’t agree with her.

God, I hope I don’t get soft. But maybe it was simply the exhaustion of this rather eventful day.

I mean let’s recap: Run over by a train, dancing in front of a filly, fighting and running from guards, smashing with my ball into the unmanly pink-laser guard. Not that his lasers helped him in stopping the inevitable. Then I met the Nerd Princess, who was the most terrible role model to ever exist on this plane of existence. The plane of existence hereby being my brain. Escape with the ball, where I have to mention just how straining it is to use with a full stomach. Steal a train, get attacked by a conductor, walk through a snowstorm, make a dragon pet, flee from a ridiculously named dragon before spectacularly defeating him and then again snowstorm walking until I got here and made another pet.

God, it did take quite a while for me to list everything. Dream days have to be really long for that all to occur on the same day. But at least I was certain that it was night. The clouds with the snowstorm might have clouded my view from a starry night sky, but I knew it was night.

Yawn!

Mainly because of that yawn right now. I felt like actually sleeping on that stool, but shook my head considering a bed, no matter how unluxurious and primitive it is, is still better than a stool.

You know this makes me actually wonder if I can dream in a dream. Inception! Or was that the right term?

Shaking myself out of this thought I let out another small yawn before slowly getting out of the stool, making sure not to faceplant. I stumbled a bit, but still managed.

Ex was even standing there, ready to catch me. That was really irritating. But I ignored it, my exhaustion and sleepiness overtaking my annoyance.

“So, where is the bed?” I asked, hoping against hope that she actually has heard of beds before! I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if she didn’t.

She led me to a door without complaint, opening it and showing me stairs down to the basement.

Stairs…Just for you to let it sink in.

“Do you need he-“ she wanted to ask but I raised a hoof interrupting her.

“I will be fine,” I simply reassured.

I beat a fully grown dragon! I will beat these stairs!

With that I took a confident step downwards! It was a great triumph! I moved one hoof after another! And things actually seemed to go rather well! I was beating the stairs! I made them succumb to my will! MUAHHAHAHAHHA!

…Yeah, maybe I’m laying it on a bit thick with the whole villainy thing, but hey, you can never get enough practice!

I was about halfway down when...a weight suddenly pushed me from behind and overhead.

That weight being my own plot.

…Yeah. My plot suddenly got airborne. Don’t ask me how it happened. Just know that it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

AH!

OOF!

OW!

OOF!

OOF!

And with that I pretty much landed down there, groaning in clear discomfort. That hurt maybe even a bit more than the hoof to the face.

While I was squirming in some pain the doggy actually hefted me up to tuck me in. Not that I noticed, though I noticed then I was laid on something soft. I managed to see Ex roll her eyes at me before leaving. I wanted to sass her back for this transgression, but simply huffed as the pain dulled to an uncomfortable throb, letting me enjoy the softness that was a bed.

Yeah. Laying there was definitely the better option to try and walk after her to scold her. Even though this accident has woken me up a bit, I could already feel my wakefulness slowly slipping again. Sleep was slowly taking me, making me wonder how the day tomorrow will be. I certainly hope it will bear more results than today does. Sure, it was a good start, but one teenage dragon wasn’t enough to conquer an empire. I would need a lot more for this.

First though I needed some sweet dreams. Maybe a dream of conquering the empire, or kicking some serious pink princess plot around.

Yeah. That sounds nice…

With that last thought I drifted off, a small smile gracing my lips as my fangs all too cutely showed from the edges of my mouth.

Yeah, I can be terrifying and cute.

In any case I was quite curious what the land of dreams would offer me tonight.