Chapter 7: It’s Quite Icy Out Here / Have An Ice Day! – The Return Of The Puns! – Ice Edition! (Undedited)
I was feeling pretty bad for not making progress with chapter 6, while chapter 7 has been ready for over a year now. In the end I decided to post it. Honestly chapter 7 starts out exactly where we left off with Sombra, while chapter 6 would be about the aftermath in the Crystal Empire. So it is actually no trouble and won't disrupt the flow of the story. At the end of the story is only a really minor spoiler about Press Pass. But it really is so minor that it isn't a real reason to hold it back.
So with that I hope you enjoy this long overdue chapter. I only hope that I can actually manage to release chapter 6 soon enough. Soon hereby me hoping to release it within a years time. I have no illusions that it will take some time with me having trouble to actually bring Comedy into that chapter. If I don't manage, then the chapter probably won't be as entertaining as the others, but we will see that in the future.
Edit: Chapter 6 is still in the works and is a Crystal Empire chapter. So more of a side chapter really. It will come out as soon as I have it ready. Just thought I might mention it here again so to make sure everyone knows. 
POV: Leon
There is one thing to say about the frozen tundra. At least I’m convinced it represents that. This is my dream after all, so I can name it whatever I want, and nobody can stop me! Ha!
But to get back on TRACK! Hah, train puns, because I just was PUSHED out of one. The train conductor probably thought I was a real PUSHover!
Conductor’s still suck by the way.
I mean, what did I do to him?! THINKING about pushing someone out of a train is nothing bad! It’s all just in my head after all! Hm… Kinda like everything at the moment, so maybe I should have just pushed him out. It’s all just in my head after all. But I’m straying again, aren’t I?
Ok. Third try. This time I’m serious. Promise.
There is one thing about the frozen tundra that really is annoying, it is fucking cold, but hey at least I wasn’t injured, as I fell out of the train. But it was a close call. I almost didn’t manage to use my Shadow Ball for protection. But I guess, I had other problems now. One of it is the use of so many buts in my sentences. If I continue people might doubt my eloquence! Better keep an eye on that. Bu- *cough* However, there was still another problem besides the cold, I was in the middle of the road in a blizzard! (Well, if you could call that a road, since I was technically besides the track of the train.)
So, I might freeze to death here, if I don’t act quickly. And let me tell you a villain doesn’t freeze to death so I needed to act.
What to do, what to do…
Idea! There was a way to stay warm. A really simple way.
I suddenly hummed a tune and started a slight dance. After all, movement is the best way to keep your warm by low temperatures!
“Bu-, uh, flank~ to the right!” I sang out loud as I was swinging my flank slightly to the rhythm.
“Right ha-, hoof on the waist!” I sang as I did exactly what I said.
“Left hoof straighten out!” I did that too.
“Left!”
I said as I was swinging my flank to the other side.
“Right, left, right, left, right, left, right, left!”
“One, two, one two!”
And that’s how it continued. I was getting into the spirit of things pretty fast, tapping my foot to the rhythm. It was probably a real spectacle. I bet the ponies back there would have gawked at that and would have needed some time to reboot their brains, because they would have FROZEN over!
Gotta love these cold puns. And let me tell you, I have still some left.
Now that I think about this small performance. Maybe it would have been the better reference for my escape. They probably would have gawked there for minutes! Enough for me to run out of the city and hijack the train. And that without this whole Shadow Ball disaster. Though it is good to have a fast escape plan as well up my sleeve.
Hm… Now that I think about it, maybe I should rename the move. Shadow Ball seems rather…I dunno…blunt? Let’s just say it is boring and unoriginal. I mean, nothing against Pokemon (yeah it is an attack in Pokemon and not a means of defensive, so sue me), though I think I can do better than that.
So what to call it?
Aha! Shadow Impact Nullifier!
…Maybe a little too complicated and too long?
Shadow Core!
Too corey! And yep, I’m still making words up. It’s not like I would meet a pony who would call me out on it. Especially inside my mind.
Ball of darkness!
Too cliché! It sounds like the attack of a cheap villain! And my cape is most certainly not cheap! And the attack is not really an attack. More like the greatest defense throughout the Crystal Empire!
Shadow Shell!
Nah! That would fit the first shadow defense better. You know, the one where my body turned black completely as I was hit by the train?
Black Core!
Nope. Even worse than Shadow Core. And it just sounds ridiculous.
I sighed in defeat. Well, seems like I have to go with the Pokemon one for a little while longer.
And then I noticed something while dancing. I moved my hoof and waited. I did it again and waited. Again and again, but the noise of snipping fingers never came, and it was needed for the performance!
I then FROZE, as I realized the flaw in my show.
I had no fingers…
Throwing my useless appendages to the air and cursing everything that was holy, I fell on my knees. Again. Kind of habit of me as of lately.
I sobbed slightly. “I’m a maimed FREAK!”
And god knows I was. Well, technically not maimed, but I still felt the part with these stumps as appendages. I mean, can you even pick something up with them?
Not that I could dwell on these highly educated thoughts of mine. There was something that was still wrong, something that bugged me…
“Goddammit! It is still cold!”
Yep, the dancing didn’t help, as well as my cape, because it was too short to cloak my body completely.
Come to think of it, why is it so cold? I mean, did they forget to close the window in my hospital room or something? But then again, it is August for christ’s sake! And then again, I’m in a coma and time flows differently while in a dream too. Dreams that take maybe two to eight minutes are equal to eight hours in the real world for example.
This always annoyed me to no end. I mean, why should dreams only be that short?! That just sucks! Two to eight minutes are hardly enough for a full adventure! How many times had I awoken right when the dream started to get interesting! And the worst part is, that the dream is then lost forever, since you rarely have the same dream twice! So let’s just say: Sandman you suck! I mean, can’t you do your goddamn job right?! Ugh! Really, the nerve! Even God makes a better job than him! And to put it bluntly, he sucks at his job. I mean, there are so much wars going on in this world! You know, the one outside of my mind. So yeah, go figure.
Another shudder run down my spine, as I realized that standing around wouldn’t help my predicament in the slightest. That’s why I took a look around. Not that easy by the way, if a blizzard is aggravating your sight. But with a little concentration I still managed regardless. In which I mean, that my vision somehow seemed to have a zoom effect now as a glow seemed to emit from them. Or a stronger glow than normally if you insist, take your pick. It was a rather interesting super power to say the least, and I was glad that these obnoxious green eyes were good for something other than creeping me out.
As my sight zoomed in on my surroundings I could make out a lot of nothing, to my trepidation. But that was only one side, so I slowly turned around to my left. I could even see the Crystal Empire slightly with my zoom from here! Not that I would just march back there. I need some training first after all. And maybe a plan because of their girly weapon of mass destruction. However, that is after I bring my flank out of the cold, so as not to freeze to death. Would be a rather embarrassing death for a supervillain. Also on a side note I just managed to say flank instead of ass without a hitch. So yay me!
I turned further to the left and then saw a few mountains not that far from the track. But that was not the most interesting sight before me.
“Is that a cave?” I asked in sheer disbelief, as well as relief. I guess the script wants me to go explore that cave then. There are probably some events hidden inside. Maybe I get to slay some monsters and even level up!
I then enthusiastically made my way in direction of the cave, a big smile plastered on my face, while defying the blizzard. My grin only widened as I had another great idea, or more like a great pun!
“Well, I still am going to have an ice day!” Yep. Neither ice nor cold can freeze my puns over! Hah, I’m quite puny, ain’t I?
With that said, it still took me some time until I reached the cave. It was at least a mile away after all, and the blizzard didn’t help matters. Neither did the slope as I reached the foot of the mountain. At least the cave wasn’t that far up. Not a mile after I reached the foot of the mountain I stood in front of its entrance and heaved a sigh of relief, as I strode in and the winds stopped to drag on my clothes like a herd of fangirls screaming my name. Something that will happen in the future, since I’m going to become a famous actor, so it was a good exercise, even if it was just in my mind.
Gotta thank lucid dreaming for this real live experience though. I mean, I just walked through a blizzard and felt every little squall, as well as I can feel the cave walls here. They feel quite stoney. What do the business guys call such an experience 4D? Because the senses are involved as well? Maybe lucid dreaming would be the key to reach it! I mean, if this dream is anything to go by. Probably should patent it though. Wouldn’t want someone to steal my idea. Oh, I’m so going to get famous with this, and after I’m already famous, it will be a lot easier to get my reputation high as an actor! It was the perfect, foolproof plan!
I was brought out of my thoughts by a sudden movement from my ears. They seemed to have heard something.
Was that a growl?
My face lit up and I was giddy with excitement. The event already started! And I honestly couldn’t help but wonder which terrible creature I have to face! Maybe I could even keep it as a pet afterwards? Think about it! A dangerous lion! Which would fit perfectly with my mane. But on the other ha-, I mean hoof! Well, anyway a mythological creature might be better in this mythological world. I’m not even sure if lions exist here. My mind was not something to sneeze at, and that is why it wouldn’t just pop an unfitting creature in this world.
My face became even brighter at another idea. Just hold on. What, and let’s say theoretically, what if I face nothing other than a real, fire-breathing dragon! That would be something wouldn’t it? I mean, a dragon as a pet? The pretty pink pony princess would learn to bow before me! I would just march, no ride in on one of these huge creatures and she would fall to her knees begging for forgiveness for her foolishness. Ah, I can already picture it!
Growl!
Oh, right. Dragon taming first, humiliating my rival later.
I could already see something move in the dark. I didn’t concentrate on my eyes though. I wouldn’t want to ruin my surprise after all.
I then heard another growl, as my ears pointed in its reaction. It was quite louder than the last one and pointed out that he was getting closer!
Then I heard slow steps drawing closer and closer. I was as giddy as an anime schoolgirl confession her crush! Abnormal huge eyes sparkling with excitement. (Huh, anime-eyed ponies?) My breath came in quicker too. I just couldn’t hold it in any longer, I wanted to see my new pet! And pat it on its terrifying, scaled head!
Another few steps. He was so close now! It was really hard not to look already in the direction he came from!
And then it stopped. He was really close now! Maybe a few pony-lengths away!
I then turned around with a smile that probably would split my head, if this was not a dream. My eyes fixed itself on its form and-!
…
A fucking white lizard with pink belly and spikes stood in front of me. He was slightly taller than me.
A WHITE AND PINK LIZARD! PINK! PINK OF ALL COLORS!
I punched a wall out of frustration, hard.
“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-“
Maybe a little too hard. I held the hoof close to my muzzle and blew on it so that the pain would go away. It helped a little, but it didn’t stop the liquid pride from forming in my eyes. It was just a little droplet. Nothing big. So don’t get any wrong ideas.
I then stared at the lizard again. It seemed slightly confused. That little sucker. I sighed. I think this was the biggest disappointment in my entire life. And here I hoped for a dragon…
POV: Fizzle
Things weren’t great for me, and I was so confident at the beginning, when I left the dragons nest and all the other dragons behind. I told them I could do it, that I could fend for myself. That I don’t need them.
But it was a stupid idea to fly north.
The blizzard took me completely by surprise and I still got lucky that I found this cave. I don’t want to think what would have happened if I didn’t find it in time. I mean, I could spy fire, but I still couldn’t fight nature itself. Garble would have laughed if I told him that. Saying something along the lines that real dragons don’t get pushed around by nature. But he never left the nest himself, or at least never went far and stayed always close to it, so he didn’t know. He was just a poser, even though I have to admit, that I never would say that straight to his face. He would just look for a fight afterwards. And truth be told, I’m not a fighter.
One of the reasons I left. I wasn’t one for senseless scuffles.
Well, it was more like he kicked me out of his group to be honest…
But who needs him anyway?! I will survive out here, and then he can’t say things like I’m too soft or I’m not a REAL dragon again! He will see!
A sigh escaped my lips. If only I had some gems left… I ate the last ones a while ago, and here was nothing to hunt either…
I suddenly heard hooves at the entrance of the cave and groaned inwardly.
This was not a good timing. I didn’t want to fight now. I just wanted to take a break from the exhausting trip. And who exactly would be dumb enough to go out in the cold while a blizzard was raging?
…
Besides me, that is.
I sighed. It was probably a pony, if the hoofsounds were anything to go by. I better get ready to scare it off.
I quickly made my way to the entrance of the cave, where I found the pony. It had a dark coat and a red cape, as well as some armor. I tensed slightly as he turned around and I looked him right into his eyes. These eyes seemed to emit venom itself, and it made me shudder.
Why did something like this have to happen to me? Couldn’t it have been a small kitten or a bunny? Then I would at least have a meal!
I was just about to say something, as he slammed his hoof into the cave wall, hard. I winced at this. This seriously looked like it hurt quite a lot and I was glad that he didn’t slam the hoof into me. There was a slight dent in the cave wall after all. My scales would probably have taken some damage by it.
He seemed a bit hurt. His behavior confused me, but I hoped this would make everything easier. It was maybe not honorable to hope he wounded himself enough so I could easily kick him out, but it had to be. Ponies tend to freak out and call the guard on us after all. Or, if they are fit enough, attack without a reason. Ponies can be sometimes as aggressive as dragons.
After a short time he seemed to be back to normal. He even had small tears in his eyes. I couldn’t really blame him.
I probably should stop stalling for now and get to it. Things won’t get done if I just stay around, twiddling my thumbs. Maybe I can talk him out of the cave?
I puffed out my chest as much as possible and took a threatening stance. “Who dares to walk into my ca-“
I was quickly cut off, or I cut myself off as I noticed that the pony was simply ignoring me and walking right past me!
“Wait!” I yelled after him, but he didn’t even turn as he walked deeper into the cave. I hung my head slightly at that.
Figures.
Seems like I lose before it even begins…
I quickly shook my head. NO! I am a dragon! One of the most fierce creatures in the world! I can’t just act like a pushover! Remember that brochure of the Minotaur you saw? He can do that too! If a Minotaur can do that, then you too!
I took a low threatening stance again. My slitted eyes were completely focused on my prey, before I started to recite the fitting and catchy phrase from the brochure.
“Treat me like a pushover, and you’ll get the once over!”
POV: Leon
Nope. Fuck this shit I’m out!
Maybe I will find a real dragon if I go deeper into the cave? Probably. It just had to be. There was no way I would accept a pink lizard as pet. Just no. No. No. No. Nothing Pink. Ugh! My own mind seems to hate me…
Wonder what this says about me.
So in the end I just walked past the lizard. He was yelling something, but I ignored him. My time was too precious to get wasted like that. I wouldn’t earn much XP from such a small fish anyway. I had the concentrate on the big ones.
Everything was going to be fine. I just had to walk further. I would surely find some better event. I mean, there had to be more than one event in this cave right?
Maybe ther-
Bite!
Pain suddenly shot through my body as I turned my head around to face the attacker. I started to scream.
That little bugger bit me into my flank! More like he still has it in his mouth! And it hurts like hell by the way. And his slimy and rough tongue licking around the area made this experience even worse! I feel so dirty right now… Well that was until the pain took the upper ha- hoof again.
“WAHAHA!” I whined as I was running in circles, with the lizards maw tightly closed around my flank.
HE IS GOING TO EAT ME ISN’T HE?!
Rumble!
Oh yeah, that sound came from his stomach by the way. Not the most reassuring of sounds at the moment.
“OH GOD! PLEASE NO-O-O-O!” I whined, as I was shaking my flank in an attempt to get him off. All it did was move its teeth around inside my flesh, which hurt even more, and I started to panic. Or more like getting even panicier.
“CRYSTAL STOMP!” I roared with tears in my eyes, willed to get this little bugger off no matter what.
But of course my aim was slightly off. Not that you could blame me for that. Try aiming while an oversized lizard is munching on your ass! Yeah, you see my problem here.
Instead of the lizard the pillar was rising directly under my hindquarters and I crashed with the lizard still in tow into the ceiling. He let go as his face was also smashed into the ceiling. He was biting my hindquarters, so no surprise there.
Then we both fell to the ground I relatively fast gained my footing again, even though it was slightly shaky. The hit to the head seemed to have the lizard dazed, so I decided to act in a panicky motion, ignoring the pain of my flank.
“Soaring Crystal!”
Yeah, I let a Crystal shoot out slightly slant under him, so that he was flying through the air in a direction away from me. I didn’t want him to recover, so I shot out another crystal from the ground to keep him in the air. I repeated that, again, and again. Actually after half a minute I had a smile on my face. It was a little strained, due to the pain in my flank, but I had fun regardless. It was almost like volleyball or another sport where you have to throw one ball thingy from one side to the other, only that I was playing against myself. It wasn’t bad, since I couldn’t lose against myself. I enjoyed myself that much that I even imitated a sport host voice.
“Leon dashed the ball to one side. But Sombra saw it coming a mile away and counters it with an unimaginable precision! Oh! Leon almost missed the ball! Through that he is coming relatively slow and Sombra has no problem to counter it easily! He dashed the ball again, but Leon is having none of it and responds in kind!”
This is how it pretty much went. I can’t believe that I was frightened by this oversized lizard for even a second. He was pretty much harmless, if you kept him and his sharp teeth at a distance. I winced at the thought of his teeth. I could still feel the bite marks and was sure they would stay. Well, normally stay, but since this was a dream so who knows?
Suddenly I was feeling slightly hot. Not hot like attractive. Not that I’m not an attractive one, but you probably get the picture. It was more like hot hot. I then noticed the flames dancing directly over my head and ducked. Just in case. Of course the target was off already, but I didn’t want to risk anything. Especially not the loss of my majestic mane.
However, more importantly would be where this flames came from. I squinted my eyes and followed the flames to its source. It was the lizard!
Now completely broken from my concentration, I missed to produce another crystal to keep him in the air. Not that I minded it. He would just fall flat on his face and be dazed again. More than enough time t-
All of a sudden my eyes widened in surprise, as he unfolded something from his back.
Wings.
Freaking wings.
…
A lizard that can spout fire and fly?
…
A dragon!
My eyes immediately lit up.
So my mind decided to give me a dragon after all! I only need to do something about the colors and maybe find a way to get him bigger. That would be epic!
I instantly took a stance. You know, the stance you take then you want to show that you are impressed, but not too impressed, so to make clear that you are STILL way above his class, and that he shouldn’t mess with you, AND consider himself lucky that he can even join the ranks of such a great personality!
He landed hard with his feet on the ground. Hard in a way to demonstrate his strength as the ground slightly cracked. I of course kept a straight face, as I quickly made up a script for this scene in my mind, before talking.
“A dragon it is. I didn’t recognize it at first in the darkness of the cave.”
I could see perfectly fine though with my eyes now that I think about it. So they don’t only have a zoom effect. Huh. Useful. His obnoxious pink color probably distracted me then from noticing the obvious. But to get back he didn’t have to know any of that.
He only glared at me. Good, at least he is not charging now.
“I think you have talent, bub. And that is the reason why I will allow you to join my ranks.”
He stared at me confused.
Ok, seemed like I had his full attention, now just to drive this point home…
“As my little pet dragon!” I squeed.
…
I swear, I have absolutely no idea how I did that. How is squeeing even possible? I don’t know, it just felt so natural… God, no. I feel less villainy now, just like I lost a huge amount of villain points… Well, nobody saw it! No one has to know! Especially not the pretty pony princess. God, I would never hear the end of it from her. Especially after I humiliated her like that in front of her peers.
But to the more important things now. He couldn’t deny my offer. Who wouldn’t want to be the pet of such a gifted Unicorn like me after all?
POV: Fizzle
Dumbfounded probably wouldn’t do my expression justice. I was just offered companionship to get it shattered with the most degrading exclamation for a dragon, or any being for that matter.
He walked straight past me, thinking that my lack of answer was a way to voice my approval.
It was not.
“Come on, my little pet,” he said in a singsong voice before he got a thoughtful look, clicking his tongue. “I think I will call you Draco! That means dragon in another language! Well, if you can trust the movie… However, that’s not important now! We have to find me a magical instructor, so that I can improve my magical capabilities and conquer the Crystal Empire! MUHAHAHAHAHA!”
He stopped shortly, before turning his head. “You coming?”
I just grumbled at that. “I’m no pet.”
The pony got a thoughtful look again. “Well, you are a talking one. So that is definitely an improvement. Maybe I should invent a new word for it, to mark its superiority? Hm… A sapient pet…” The thoughtful look got deeper at that. “Dragon pet!”
“That’s not even a new word.”
“Aww. You are right. How about scaleriffic!”
“What does that have to do with it?”
He scowled. “You are right again. Well, at least you seem to be a bright one, my little super pet! Get it? Super like superiority?”
I deadpanned. “Um… That’s not a new word either… I think?”
“Argh! I just refer to you as Draco, the little dragon. There! Stupid naming…” He grumbled the last part, before turning away and walking, expecting me to follow.
Not that I could. He didn’t seem to call the guards, but degrading me into a pet was even worse! The strange naming and degrading words like ‘little’ didn’t defuse the situation either. I had to stand my ground. No dragon, or probably even pony would respect me, if I was to give into his ridiculous demands. So I didn’t. I had to fight. Not that I liked it, but to solve it peacefully wasn’t an option now. I just can’t get degraded like this, so I have to do something about him.
POV: Leon
I just walked on, but I soon noticed the distinct lack of my little dragon. I turned around to see him with a defiant look on his face and scoffed, as he attempted to go into battle mode.
“Please, little dragon. I can beat you in my SLEET!”
He blinked at that. “What?”
I blinked then too, not expecting a question. I expected more something like, you know, praise for my wittiness? Well, maybe he missed the pun?
“It is a pun! You know, because sleet sounds like sleep?” Perfect explanation. I had to beam. He had to be pretty dense not to get that, and the heaven knows my pet is intelligent and not some sort of uneducated ruffian after all!
I stared at him expectantly, waiting for the incoming praise, before remembering to keep my professionalism and turn my nose (or probably snout now?) up in the air, while closing my eyes. The praise would now rain down on me every minute. A well earned praise by the way.
…
I opened one eye slightly, as the time went on, and I somehow missed the gushing that was supposed to follow after the script I wrote in my head. Draco seemed rather bemused for some point.
“…What is a pun?” A vein appeared comically on my head, as I started to glare at him with an intensity, which would put the Terminator to shame.
…
Fuck it. I will just pound some education into him!
“I will pound some education into your thick skull!”
Huh. Probably sounds strange, if you would write the action after you have written the exact same thing as a thought. Never met or more like read an Author who did that. Maybe I could sell this as a new style of writing? Probably too small for that, but I should keep it in mind. A new money pool for my career!
“I’d like to see you try,” he snarled.
We slowly circled each other in some kind of western showdown. A tumbleweed would be very appropriate right now, but we are in an icy tundra, alas no tumbleweed. Kind of a shame. But let’s get back to the duel. I already had an idea on how to win it.
“Oh, hey look! Isn’t that a whole bunch of treasure?!” I shouted, standing on both hindhooves, while using the other two on the left and right side of my head for shouting. You know the shouting gesture? Anyway, this made my act a whole lot more believable. Surely he would fall for it!
…And he just cocked his head in confusion.
“We just came from that direction, and there is no treasure,” he said slightly unsure.
I just facepal- hooved. Smacking my hoof with full force in my face.
A hoof.
Hooves are hard.
And I did that with full force.
Go figure.
…
So yeah, it hurt like hell and I kind of knocked me down to the floor. I missed the dragon wincing, as I was rolling on the floor, while clutching my face with my hooves in pain.
“God! My beautiful face!” I whined.
My little dragon was polite enough to wait until I regained my focus.
Ha! That’s my pet for you! So polite and obedient! I let out a dreamy sigh.
Then I stood up, I tried to regain my composure. Little Draco seemed to wince as he looked at my face.
“That’s an ugly imprint,” he whispered. It was low enough, that it slipped my attention.
Before he could do any more my horn glowed and I roared, “Crystal Stomp!”
He barely dodged the assault, and seemed to get into an offensive stance. And so our fight began.
While I was shooting crystals from the ground which even reached and impaled the ceiling, letting it get cracked a little, Draco went with fire breathing and, if he came near enough, tried to claw at me. I of course used ‘Soaring Crystal’ as a defense, then he managed once to get close enough. Truth be told, I had no idea how my ‘Shadow Ball’ would deal with sharp damage, since it was a squeezeable ball. Maybe sharp claws could slice through it like a knife would through butter and I definitely didn’t want to take the risk.
Draco let out a roar, as he tried to get close to me again, and I used my crystals as shield.
Should I give it a name? Crystal Shield? It is nothing more than a ‘Soaring Crystal’ attack and doesn’t look like a pillar, like the ‘Crystal Stomp’. Maybe I could develop the form and make a new technique out of it? That might actually work. I need to do that, once my dragon taming is over, or once I find a magical instructor.
I distanced him again, with a few crystal attacks, and tried then to use the crystals to end this little revolt quickly. He was a little on the clumsy side, but still managed to avoid the attacks, albeit with no elegance. This will need some serious work.
It was after the, ‘I neglected to count after eight’ crystal that I could hear a cracking sound. Draco seemed to have missed it, since he was still fully focused on me.
Then a loud crack run through the cave and everything seemed to collapse.
POV: Fizzle
I growled fiercely at my opponent. The dark grey Unicorn was a better fighter than I thought. Not that I was any good and would have the experience to measure it, but dragons should normally beat ponies without problems, no matter the experience.
This will stay a secret.
If I told any dragons about this fight, then I would be laughed at, even if I now win it! Too long did it take. I really need to finish it now.
Crack!
Everything seemed to go rather fast then. I looked up, to see the ceiling coming for me. And I knew in this moment, that my life was over. I simply had no time to avoid the falling debris.
Heh, never thought it would end like that.
In this moment I regretted not to have become a great and fierce dragon, like I planned. I really wanted to show them! To be accepted! Not be frowned upon! To belong! Just to…have a place I could call home! A family! But it didn’t matter now.
I was about to peacefully close my eyes, as I heard the Unicorn roar something. It was lost on me, as the loud thundering of cracking and falling stone seemed to surpass it. I then noticed that a strange dark crystal shot slant over my head, just as I was about the get squashed by a large rock. It seemed to hold the stone off somehow, but soon cracked. I then found myself in the hooves of the Unicorn, as he was standing on his hindhooves and shaking me. He noticed the cracks too and his horn glowed. We were engulfed in a black mass and suddenly moved violently within it.
It all seemed so surreal, just like a dream. Next thing I know is that we came to a halt and the mass disappeared, leaving me laying on the cold cave floor. I looked up to meet the standing Unicorn towering over me, a confident smirk on his face. I could only look on in awe at him, even more so as I slowly processed what had happened.
He had saved me. Me, the one who attacked him. He didn’t even hesitate and saved my life. No one cared ever if I lived or died. Dragons had to fight for their own life’s. We didn’t know sympathy. It was our way. The dragon’s way. Never to show kindness. And yet he did. And as a pony to a dragon no less. He showed true strength, in more than one way. More than I have ever seen in my entire life.
I wanted that strength too. I wanted him to show me his ways. To be an honorable dragon. And so I bowed before him.
POV: Leon
Phew! That was a close call! Glad I could use my abilities and wit to prevent my pet from becoming a pancake. The combo, used twice in such a short time, deemed itself useful. It was the perfect escape plan. Well, perfect, if it wasn’t for the spinning. I really hated that.
As I dissipated the ball, I made to stand before my little dragon, taking a proud stance. He looked at me in awe, his eyes seemed to shimmer with admiration and I basked in it.
After a while he suddenly bowed respectfully.
“Please show me how to gain your strength! I want to be as strong and honorable as you!” The dragon spouted out, slightly insecure of himself. Not that I could blame him. Who wouldn’t be insecure in a presence as grand as mine!
I smiled down at him.
“Raise, Draco. You shall serve me and help me take back what was once mine.”
The dragon did so, and I turned around walking deeper into the cave. The entrance was blocked with debris after all, and I needed to find a new way out. Not that it should be a problem. There was probably an entrance the other direction, with another event maybe.
Draco soon followed closely behind me, before speaking up insecurely.
“Um… My real name is Fizzle…”
I waved him off. “Whatever. There is something more important first. Be a dear and change colors.”
“Um…only chameleons do that.”
I rubbed my chin in thought as I stopped my movement for a moment. “Huh… That might be a problem.”
We walked rather peacefully along the cave. Fizzle (a better name than Draco in my opinion) inquired about some of my goals and other general questions about me.
I made it clear to him that I was a villain. Something he had trouble to belief by the way. After an thorough explanation about the importance of a villain, which consists of being one of the most important elements of a story, ‘cause let’s face it, a hero can only exist, if he has a villain to fight against, or a problem to solve.
Most stories go with a villain for a reason. And some even go as far as to say a hero is only as good as its villain.
Fizzle understood and I could see newfound determination in his eyes. He himself never thought of it like that and started to appreciate the role on my side. Even though he didn’t like the title pet or the word little. At least he said so. Not that it would deter me. I wanted to think of a better name for that anyway.
Also an interesting thing to mention, he will stay by my side because he owes me his life. Said something about a dragon code and honor. Meh. As long as he follows me I don’t question it. I just wonder if he has the possibility to leave me after saving my life, or more like, IF he could save my life. I mean, sure he had more DEF points than the average pony, but he was still nothing than a teenager. Also a fact that I found out after I inquired about his height.
I also told him that pink is not a color he should look like, because it is simply girly. He lacked the vocabulary however, and so I went to explain what girly means, and why exactly it was girly. It went like this: “Ever seen a male wear pink?” He shook his head. “Ever seen a female wear pink?” He shook his head again. I then found out that this was the first time he left his home, and duh, he has only heard about clothes, but nether walked into someone wearing it! Dragons don’t wear clothes obviously. Well, neither do most ponies. The pink pony princess didn’t wear anything either besides her royal regalia, damn nudists, and god knows, she could have used it to hide her obnoxious pink coat.
But to get back on topic, I probably had to be glad, that he even knew what clothing was. He seemed to have overheard bits of information from some older dragons, listening to some of their tales. He was probably one of the more educated dragons where he was from, and seeing his low education that is a pathetic display for the dragon education. And now I had to take up the slack. I obviously started to educate my dragon with the most important knowledge he will ever need in his whole entire life: puns.
“So a pun is a play of words in a humorous way?” asked the dragon slightly curious.
“That’s right! Just because villains are COLD towards others, doesn’t mean we can’t be humorous!”
Fizzle brightened at that, as he got the pun right off the bat. He is a fast learner.
Well, he is my dragon after all. A creation of my mind no less. So it was kinda expected.
“And what was this, I can beat you in my sleet, or sleep then?”
I sighed. He never heard of idioms either, well more for me to explain then.
“It’s called idiom, an expression whose meaning is not predictable from the usual meanings of its constituent elements. I can beat you in my sleep expresses your superiority towards another being by saying, that the difference in power is so grand, that you couldn’t lose the fight, even if you slept right through it. There are quite a lot of idioms, but don’t you worry, I will teach them to you. I can’t have my right hand, or claw in this case be uneducated. And right hand means that you are the second in command and an important part of an organization. Well, if you could call our little group of two that.”
The dragon nodded excitedly at that, and I smiled at that. It pleased me to see that he was such an eager learner too.
“Good thing we broke the ice now. Oh! And breaking the ice mea-“
But I cut myself off, just as we turned around a corner and came into a large cave room with a huge ceiling and treasure! Gold coins, gems, swords, crowns, scepters… You name it, we have it! I could only stare at the massive amount of treasure in awe.
To top it all off, we seemed to be near another entrance, if the light on the other side of the room, which lit the room was anything to go by.
“I’m rich! The equipment I can buy from this!” I cheered, as I approached the mountain of treasure. Fizzle however seemed quite nervous and looked frantically around. I didn’t mind it as I climbed onto the mountain of gold and fell on my back, trying to do a snow angel. It was kind of weird. My legs didn’t seem to bend in such a good way, which made it quite the task, but I managed, once I got over it.
“Um… Leon?”
“Woohoo! What will I buy first? An army of evil minions? A giant robot? Or maybe the whole Crystal Empire? Would definitely spare me a lot of time. Though buying would be legal. I need it to be illegal. I can’t ruin my reputation after all.”
“Maybe we should leave,” said Fizzle in a hushed whisper.
I could only blew a raspberry at his cowardly behavior. “Don’t tell me you are a scaredy cat? I might as well call you Fluffy, the pink dragon! Would you want that?”
“Well, no. But-“
“No buts!” I then proceed to set a golden crown on my head. I managed it with two hooves, even though it was a slightly taxing task, but hey, double crown power! I then concentrated back on my dragon. “More importantly, how do I look like?” I started posing on two hindhooves. Standing sideways, while pointing one hoof forwards, while the other was on my hip. I held my head slightly higher.
Roar!
Whelp. Fizzle was about to answer me, but that really loud roar cut him off. I could see the scared look on his face and gulped slightly, as a large shadow covered me. I then turned around and looked at the large form of a dragon. Yep. It was a ‘Without-a-doubt-kickass-dragon’, not something like Fizzle.
He was a royal red color, no pink! His enormous wings were tucked to his sides and his spikes looked to be rather sharp, as were his teeth which he was showing us in a TOOTHY snarl.
Yeah, can’t really lose my humor, even in this situation. It is a good thing too. Wetting yourself would reach nothing anyways.
I stared up at him with awe. “So that’s what a real dragon looks like?”
“But I’m a real dragon too!” Fizzle started to protest, temporarily forgetting his fear.
I simply rolled my eyes at the small sized dragon. “Oh, hush you!”
Let’s be honest, a large or XXL sized dragon was something he could not compete with. Not to mention the color difference…
Damn. I know really want that dragon. Maybe we can switch characters? I would rather have this death machine as a dragon pet, than Fluffy here.
Understandably I pointed that out, of course minding my fellow pet’s feelings. I’m a sensitive guy after all.
“Wow! You would be a better fit for the position of my right hoof than Fizzle here. Want to take his position?” I questioned with a cheery tone my voice.
“Eh?! B-But what about me?!” asked Fluffy shocked.
“I’m sure you will find another one to follow around, Fluffy.”
The face of the little dragon fell and he seemed completely dejected, as he mulled it over. Though his expression soon hardened.
“Y-You hay eater!”
I rolled my eyes. If he wanted to insult me, then he has a lot to learn. I mean, seriously, hay eater? There wasn’t an insult that was more pathetic. Time to show him how it’s done right!
“Lizard!”
Fluffy seemed taken aback for a moment, before he composed himself and continued his verbal onslaught.
“Horn head!”
“Oversized toucan!”
“Creepy eyed dumbflank pony!”
I proceeded to fall on my knees. Best thing is to just stop counting, since this happens quite often lately.
“God, why does it always have to be the eyes? Life is so cruel!”
Fluffy almost seemed sympathetic towards me, the wuss. If I were him, I would have used the situation to my advantage and punched him straight in the face.
“SILENCE!” the REAL dragon suddenly roared. He probably got tired of our arguing. We both quickly shut our mouths with a snap, before we directed our eyes toward this giant of a dragon, waiting for what he had to say with bated breaths. “How dare you entering my lair!”
“Well, to be honest, it is just an old cave.”
“SILENCE! Or do you have a death wish?”
I shivered slightly. He was serious and this made me slightly nervous. Hell knows that I would have trouble fighting a full grown dragon. Little Fizzle here caused me enough problems, so I probably can’t take on a fully grown one just now. I mean, alone the size difference shows how much stronger he is compared to Fizzle. Fizzle is an ant, well not quite an ant, but a critter compared to him. He could gobble him up without a problem. Huh, maybe this could be a solution. But before I could go more into that line of thought our real dragon spoke up again.
“Good. Now let me introduce myself, I am Draco! And I’m in fact of a lineage o-“
“Draco? Wow. That’s a dumb name!”
“But you gave me the exact name not too long ago!” Fizzle protested.
“I did, but only because I couldn’t think of anything better.”
“So you would have given me a ridiculous name, because you couldn’t think of something better?!”
“Yes.”
Somehow he seemed to be offended by that answer, for whatever reason.
“HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM ABOUT THAT?!”
I blinked confused. “Calm about what? You act like I had done something ridiculous.”
“BECAUSE YOU DID!”
“Tsk, tsk, tsk. The only ridiculous thing here is the big guy’s name.” I stopped before thinking of another important point in the discussion. “Oh, and your pink coloration.”
“My coloration is not weird! Your eyes are!”
“SILENCE! YOU INSOLENT FOOLS!” Draco *snicker* roared, but this time a lot louder. It made my ears ring and I had to wonder why I had to endure such a thing in my dream, especially since I felt like my eardrums were busted by this.
If only ponies could speak so loudly! That definitely would give me some form of authority. Just think about it! Me yelling with that volume at the pink pony princess. Loud enough that her wig (‘cause let’s face it her hair coloration has three colors and looks pretty cheap, so that it has to be one) would fly off her head and she would have to crawl down at my feet! Ah. Such daydreams really bring a smile to my face. Also *snicker* a dream in a dream! Funny thing that.
Not so funny was the big guys face. He looked like he would hit the roof any minute now. Man, I miss the roof puns. Maybe I should look for one? Nah, better keep my focus now, since a vein, which is testament to the dragons rage appeared comically on his head. Oh boy. This meant trouble.
“I have quite enough of your charades! Maybe I should have you for dinner! It has been a while since I got my last taste of pony, even though I personally prefer the tender flesh of females!” He suddenly started to ponder, laying on of his clawed fingers on his chin. “Ah, I remember the last female ponies which crossed my path. They were quite the beauties, especially the rainbow one. I always like the feisty ones who put up a fight. Those well-formed muscles of hers were a real eye catcher! Wonder if she would mind me watching her work-out. You on the other claw look like you can’t put up much of a fight. And if it comes to a meal, you seem to be too much skins and bones.”
Wait… Did this tomboy-lusting-pervert just insult me?!
“I will let you know that I have a good figure with tender muscles, thank you very much,” I huffed, before continuing on. I lifted my cape and stuck my a-, um, flank in the air. “Just look at that tender flank! This is the tastiest you will ever get. It is so well toned and tender. No steak could compare to it!”
…And for some reason the dragon started to smirk.
“Then I will just eat you, if you truly are as much of a feast, as you let on!”
I paled a little at that. “Wait! Eat him!” I pointed at Fizzle, who sputtered in utter disbelief.
“WHY ME?!”
“Because he tastes better and is even more te-“ My eyes widened at the blasphemy I almost committed. “No he is not! I’m definitely the tastier one and the one with the better figure, but eat him anyway!” Puh, that was a close save! Can’t just label this lizard better than me now, right? My figure was really pristine, as was my fur and mane, blasphemy to all who deny my body being the ultimate feast for the eyes!
“You just admitted that you were tastier! If anything he should eat you!” My little companion pointed out. That little traitor.
“I’m too good looking too die! Oh, and too young too!”
“I’m not that old either!”
“Your loss then! Didn’t you want to serve me? Then do so and be a nice little snack for him!”
“ENOUGH!” Exclaimed our name weirdo, as he then growled loudly and spouted fire at us.
I dove directly behind a rock, while Fizzle just stood there with fright, as the flames washed over him. I was sure that this was it for him, but against all hopes, he didn’t seem to be affected. And here I hoped he would act as a cooked steak for the angry dragon… Except he is a dragon himself, and can you even cook highly fire resistant meat? Huh… Now I want to test that theory with a volcano…
Focus, Leon! If you make it out of there, then you can test it, if you come across a smaller dragon (Fluffy will die anyway) again. So just try to get out of there alive!
Ok, thinking. I need a distraction! Where is Miss Shine, when you need her? I really wished I could hear her annoying camera snapping sound again… Well, I have to do without it then.
“Look! Isn’t that a steak?!” I yelled, as I pointed to the other side of the room, opposite to the entrance I had to reach. But I started to sweat bullets, since this tactic didn’t work on Fizzle, so it was likely, that it wouldn’t work on the big guy.
Yeah, this is never going to work.
“A steak?” asked the big idiot, as he turned around to look at the direction I pointed at.
I myself just got a toothy grin. Big jocks like him really are idiots! Well, this is my mind, so I probably should have expected it. But no time to lose, so I started running straight for the exit.
“Every stallion for himself!” I shouted, as I ran away. Fizzle just looked at me with utter disbelief.
“EH?!” he managed to yell out. Not that I cared. If he is too slow to follow he can be a snack for the dragon. I mean, sure that would be some form of cannibalism, but I honestly didn’t care. I had to survive to fulfil my role! He was the supporting actor that could die, not me!
I was so close to the entrance. Nothing could stop me now, just a few metres…
Slam!
And suddenly my world was completely red. Not red like, I was bleeding profusely, no, more like, heavily red because of a wall of red scaly flesh blocking my entrance, the dragons tail.
“Did you really think you could just get away from me? Do I really look like a fool to you?”
I mulled his words over, before replying rather nonchalantly. “Yeah, kind of.”
I probably should have clarified that this was the answer to his first question.
Even though the second one still might hold merit, if you consider he fell for my distraction…
Well, no need to cry over spilled milk. Even though I will admit, I wouldn’t mind some at this moment. I need to keep myself and my bones healthy after all. A little growth spurt could never harm. Especially with this doping giants.
The dragon took predictably offense in my answer and attacked me with its claws. I formed a wall of crystal, but it couldn’t withstand the force and power of his mighty claws and shattered, so that I was flung across the room and against a wall. I moaned in pain as I hit it, and did even more so as gravity took a hold of me and slammed me into the floor, albeit a lot softer than the dragons hit.
“Fuck…” I managed to croak out, as I stood up again. Not one of the easiest things to do I might add. My body hurt, and I will admit, that I probably won’t survive five or six of those hits. And this estimate was rounded up!
Some people might find that lame, but it’s not like I was some ridiculous character from a show who could just get beaten almost to death, only to be reminded of something sentimental and THEN stand up and win the fight, like I had NO injury AT ALL! Seriously, I always found that ridiculous. Either you are completely beaten up with your HP so low that it is over, then you don’t stand up again, or you are not, but then you have no right to lay longer on the ground than ten seconds flat.
Oh well, I probably should try to dodge the attacks then. My crystals could be bursted by the little Taurus, a fully grown dragon would easily slice through them with ease. So…what do I do now?
First thing was dodging it seems. I tried to run and duck under its claw swipes, trying to use the stony terrain to my advantage. I often dived behind rocks to obscure his view of me, but these were soon destroyed. I tried to make crystals for cover, but he swiped them away faster then I could produce them. And with such ease! Unnecessary to say that I couldn’t hide and dodge forever. So I needed a way to move its tail out of the way, so that I could escape. It would be foolish to try and take down such a high leveled boss on my own after all.
Well, even if Fluffy there, who was hiding all the time would help, I still wouldn’t stand a chance. But he was weak anyway and such a coward, so I couldn’t count on him.
So now to the important question: How to move that tail…
Idea! I singsonged in my mind.
“Crystal Stomp: Multiple Edition!” I roared, as I concentrated my magic to magic (just deal with me using the same word twice since I had other problems now than fearing for my eloquence) two pillars (higher success rate, since my accuracy declines greatly, the more pillars I try) out of the ground under his tail. One pillar was to my own disappointment slightly off and only brushed it. The other on the other hoof was extremely accurate.
Seems like Draco didn’t expect that too, as his tail was lifted he lost his balance and fell like a sack of potatoes.
Red ones.
…
Yeah, there are red potatoes. Look it up! There are even violet ones.
Huh… Wondering why almost nobody seems to sell them? I mean, they taste great!
…
Yeah, better get back to RUNNING this show! Because that’s exactly what I did, as soon as its tail was lifted!
As Draco fell, he hit his head on the cave wall and the ground shook slightly. I could also see Fizzle following me now out of the cave.
Useless dweeb.
ROAR!
…And Draco seems to be even more pissed now. I could already hear his form stamping right behind us. I didn’t want to turn around. Would be stupid to do that by the way. I mean, who would want to stumble now? And running forwards while looking behind you just screamed stupid. Especially if I saw already the light! I mean, who would do tha-
“Oof!”
My thoughts were interrupted as something fell straight in my way and I started to roll along with it on the floor.
Let me elaborate. Seems like there was one thing I didn’t calculate. Fizzle. He was dumber than a cow who was led to a butcher with the sweet promise of a better life. As I was running, he managed to pass me. You know, wings and all? Seemed like he wanted to look behind him while flying and somehow stumbled in midair.
…
HOW DO YOU STUMBLE IN MIDAIR! Ugh! Incompetence!
His form of course crashed in me, as I was too dazed by this stupidity to avoid him in time.
As the ball of our entangled two forms came to a stop, we were just barely outside of the cave. At least a small victory, but Draco here was already staring down at our combined forms with an intense glare that screamed ‘bloody murder’. However, the bump on his head kind of ruined it for me. It looked like he had grown a third horn, so that I had to hold back a snicker. And I was terrible at doing that, only infuriating the large killing machine more.
He was already preparing to end us, or at least me, with his fire breath.
I needed a solution, fast.
He wouldn’t fall twice for the same trick. I was sure of it, even if he was an idiot. So what can I do besides crystals?
Shadow protection?
Wait! Didn’t I call myself manipulator of shadows earlier? Maybe I can do more than just to form shadows around me for protection. I could probably bend them to my will!
I gazed down at the ground the dragon was standing on and smirked. He really casts a giant shadow!
Now to the magic!
I concentrated, letting my horn glow its eerie color as I closed my eyes. Don’t want to get distracted by that color after all, while trying out a new spell. I concentrated to let the shadow spring to life and bind him down with dozens of tendrils. It was more than likely, that it wouldn’t restrain him forever, but all I needed was some time to run and hide.
So just come and pull him down to the ground you stupid shadow!
Squawk!
That sound let me crack an eye open in caution.
Did it work?
As I looked upon the form of the dragon my other eye fluttered open almost immediately. I almost couldn’t believe them, for eye (that pun had to be) saw the dragon slowly sinking into a pool of darkness!
He was so startled by it that he blew a huge pillar of fire straight into the night sky, like a beacon, while flaying helplessly with his claws and tail.
I watched on in awe as the huge dragon slowly was dragged into the ground, screaming in horror.
And like a little girl.
I didn’t notice Fizzle staring at the spectacle in awe, and I honestly didn’t care. He was enough trouble as it is.
Soon the dragon was completely engulfed. He breathed one last time before nothing remained of him and the ground turned back to normal. I could only think of one thing to say.
“Ice-talavista, baby.”
POV: Press Pass
I was watching out of the window of the driver cabin. Now I was glad that I took the lessons to work such an engine. But it might have some repercussions. Stealing a train from the guard’s right in front of their captain? Yeah, I probably shouldn’t enter the Crystal Empire for a while, or when only in disguise. He might be resentful since I shamed him quite a bit. Well, I had my reasons. I needed to track that blasted Sombra down!
I was brought out of my ramblings by a pillar of fire in the distant mountains.
A grin formed on my face.
“There you are!” I exclaimed in triumph.
Sure, some might wonder how I might know that this pillar indicated his position, but my intuition told me so, and I just listen to it. And to be honest, it made sense that he would try to confuse the guards by leaving the train early. It would take some time to find out.
It had nothing to do that it was my only clue to his whereabouts, and that otherwise I had to search for the famous needle in the haystack.
Nope, nothing at all. My intuition just told me he was there. And every good Journalist has one. This means the hippy and his sister don’t have one. Still, this terrain was familiar.
I took out a map of a holder on the side and opened it with my magic, peering on it for the location I had in mind. It was just as I thought. There was this village. This might get interesting. I could just snatch the scandal from her, while at the same time capturing Sombra on film!
This would be a great boost for my career once again! I only had to protect my last camera. Things would look dark if I lost it. Maybe I could buy another in the village?
Pfffft! They probably don’t even have ones. This village lies at the flank end of nowhere after all.
Well, no need to rack my brain over it now.
With that said, or thought, I focused myself back on the engine, a clear destination in mind.
I failed to notice the pair of eyes staring at me right from the inside of my saddlebags.
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7460265
I find your point of view interesting. Maybe I am trying to force Comedy too much? It is one of the reasons that is hindering my progress after all. In any case I would be glad to hear your opinion on future chapters, if I ever manage to complete them.
7664590
Ask and you shall receive!
nice, it lives, love the story hoppa keep up the good work
uh, flank is the side of an animal, not the ass. i've lost count of how many writers on this site have made that elementary mistake
7687514 I like the comedy, but I think you should just let it come naturally to you instead of forcing yourself to come up with jokes. The goofy POV of Leon thinking he is in a dream is good enough for me at least.
And the word count of this chapter. I ate it up like a whopper. Its delicious.
But that first joke. I don't watch anime, but that was hilarious.
This was one of the oddest experiences I've ever had with a fic. As soon as the 2nd OC showed up I was instantly drawn out of the story. I think they might have felt out of place popping up so close together. I'm also not sure how long the dream denial thing is going to last before it gets tedious.
I'm going to keep at it for a few more chapters cause I'm digging the premise. And some of your jokes are legitimately funny even if all feels very anime like.
Good work and thanks
Great chapter
ITS ALIVE!!!
7688873 IT'S A ZOMBIE HERE TO EAT OWE BRAINZ!!!!!!!
7689366 RUN AND ScREAM IT ATTRACTS MORE.
... Yeah i have no idea what's going on.
I hope it really doesn't feels like a flashback, since I never liked reading backwards.
I'm curious, because I forgot if he thought this is a dream, or if he really wanted to be evil. I remember most of the scenes, but I forgot about what exactly happened with him in the beginning. I have to many storys to read and different would prefer a short answer this way.
I hoped he was a she, just because I remembered a story about Spike being kidnapped by a pink Dragon mother a short while.
7689815 ... Yeah i have no idea what's going on. I can only say that for the last part.
7687514 I can't say if I really agree with the one that said you force the comedy part of the story to much, but maybe try to bring it down a little bit? I'm curious about how it would look like if the story would indeed not try to earn a laughter every sentece.
However like I said, I actually like that too, but maybe it is indeed a little bit to much.
7687696 hhhmmm didn't knew that, but honestly I don't care.
7687818
I guess you just haven'T found the right one yet.
------------------------
Nice chapter, I like it anyway, I just hope he hasn't destroyed his chance with the Dragon.
I suddenly have to think of a hardcore fangirl following him around, maybe even thinking she would be his fiture Wife no matter what.
Either you let her be just another creature that we know from the show, or you give him some sort of Navi (a breezie maybe?)
This was originally a part of my sentence, but I didn't knew how to write it without making it to confusing, soooo here :
Maybe his hardcore fangirl partner could be a
(griffon, a confused Changeling that things of himself as a Pony, dog or whatever, maybe even a deer since I don't know which creatures you want to make sentient)
I just like the idea of a Sombra 6 or something.
7689366 AAAGHGHGAHGHGHGH!!!!!
7690427 well fuck you too
7687601
Thanks! I will try.
7687696
Oh I know that. But Leon on the other hand... Yeah, he sometimes simply spouts a bit of nonsense. But that's why it is so funny to write him!
7687818
You don't watch One Piece?!
You should give it a try! At least I can recommend that particular Anime. It is rather funny and interesting. I think if I would make a Top 3 of my favoirte ones this one would be one of it. But that's just my recommendation.
In any case I'm glad you liked it! Especially considering how this chapter pretty much marks the start of his adventure where he gathers new allies.
7687897
Well, technically not a single OC appeared in this latest chapter. Fizzle is a real character from the show. One of Garble's goons. And the second dragon... Yeah, technically his real name is Basil. But then I wrote this I didn't look for the name and the name issue was even a joke in this chapter, so I can't really change it. He was basically the dragon from...Dragonshy was the name of the Episode I think. You know from the first season with the smoke where Fluttershy stared him down?
The denial will also go on for quite some time. I want it to be a crushing experience for the character as he would have always denied others who would try to convince him from the opposite before he has to make the startling revelation. By the time it comes out he will have a shoulder to cry on. Especially a female one that can be shipped!
7689815
Pretty much a Dragon Cave Quest is going on, with Leon finding new allies, while acting like a jerk.
7690427
You are spot on in a way. Yes, he really wanted to play a villain in a way as to forego following rules and he also thinks this is a dream still and will so for quite some time.
He doesn't loose his chance with the dragon, since Fizzle pretty much doesn't see him for the jerk he is in the end. It's pretty much what I plan for character development. I want him to go from being a self-centered jerk to being a self-centered not-as-bad-as-before-jerk-that-can-actually-be-a-good-friend-kind-of-guy.
He will get a suitable character to ship with. However, this partner will actually be more serious and might not like him in the beginning all that much. Introduction of said character will happen in Chapter 8 already. And you are pretty spot on with one of your guesses too, since she will be a Diamond Dog.
7691596 sounds like it is going to be funny
7691596 you would be the minority, then. good for you
7692382
I have quite a bit of this chapter already written, so I can say that there will be some funny cultural misunderstandings. Or at least Leon tries to apply culture the way he thinks the Diamond Dogs culture is.
You know, I was playing with the thought of making a dragoness too, just so I could ship Spike with her!
But then again, in the end I wanted Leon to have a bro. Sure, only Fizzle sees him that way at the moment, but I plan to develop it between the two.
Anyway, chapter 8 is looking good. I'm just trying to figure out how to write the rest of it. Especially the interaction between the indignant and embarrassed female diamond dog and Leon. I'm at the moment at the topic of food, since even Leon gets hungry. Only have to fill that and him going to bed, so with a bit of luck I might release chapter 9 sooner rather than later.
I also welcome advice if you have any idea for the interaction, considering I have trouble to write that at the moment.
Where is chapter 6?
7897733
In the works, but my progress with it isn't that great, so that I published chapter 7 early since it takes place in a completely different setting than chapter 6. Chapter 6 will be a Crystal Empire chapter.
7901487 I see, I have only read chapters 1-4 so I was concerned about was up with the missing number 6 before I catch up with the story.
Thanks for answering,
7901609
No problem. You can read ahead. Chapter 5 is pretty much the promised Press Pass chapter, while Chapter 7 continues with Leon. I probably really have to bring out chapter 6 sometime though, but then again, I'm currently writing exams, so it will take time, especially since I'm having trouble with it for a while now.
7691596 I'm waiting for the next One Piece to come out :3 Sanji! Luffy! My poor children!
(Ah and Zoro, don't worry to much everything will be fine. I hope.)
7901653
more please
PUNS OH GOD THE PUNS!
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/053/651/fcb.png
.....and fizzle needs a hug.
poor guy.
HEXXER SCUM
DARK MAGIC IS FOR PUSSIES
DEX MAINS