Trixie is a hitmare, a sniper. Way behind her are the days of the magician extraordinaire, but since the "ursa thing" she could't get any money from a performance, so she took the next thing she was the best at; hitting a target with anything.
It's not an easy life, but since there's allays someone wanting a bullet in someone's skull, it pays the bills. Of course, you have to be careful, not only when taking a hit, but also in every other moment. Being a mercenary is not Celestia's or Luna's favorite job, so you have two radars you would like to avoid and, of course, being a hired gun is a good way to have at least some guys vowing to have your head.
It would be impossible for anypony else, but not for Trixe. Under the code name 'Deadshot' there's no job she can't do, for the right price.
Almost nothing.
All the chapters rewritten by 15-03-2015
You know if I wasn't going to go a different route with Trixie in my story? I'd have asked you to collab on it............. Just so you know that offer is STILL open if you want. Anyway, I leave THIS piece of badassery with MY OWN piece of badassery!
Oh man. Given that I can't read the story bio or the title, I have a feeling that this shall be our lovable main character.
I have a feeling that the author adores black and red original characters. And what an original character this is.
Oh, and he's a human turned pony? Truly, this couldn't possibly be setting up for some kind of commentary on unoriginal storytelling. That would be ridiculous.
So our obvious main character is a black and red alicorn original character who is also the embodiment of a lost seventh element? I wonder what shall become of him. I bet good things. Lots of good things.
Whhhhhhaaaaat? Dear God, this author is so edgy, and speaks so deeply to the fandoms urges to clear the internet of unoriginal original characters. This story is too cool for school. I must read on to see what other twists and turn this shall take.
...I'm sorry, that was the reaction you were looking for, right?
Nah, I'm just busting your balls. That was actually the only part of this chapter that I genuinely enjoyed. Won't keep reading, but I'll throw you a like.
Good show Wave. Good show.
5659538
Admittedly this is probably the only instance of sue bashing, but you´re still missing out.
Good story.
5659538
I'll be honest with you, I needed a dynamic entrance that wasn't a description, so I went for a cliché storm scene, just for fun.
Also, I can't force you to like the rest, but I wouldn't be doing my job if I don't ask about what do you thing about it.
5659457
Whenever you prefer it, I would be honored to work in a collab with you. I would also like to extend the same offer.
*sees the video* Holy YouTube videos, Lunar!
5659636
5660625
All thanks to you and your support on the development stages.
5660936
Just a moment of 'just for fun' to make room for an introduction.
5661073
Thanks for reading.
5661463
true, but the idea of a sue being in fact a mass mind Controlling entity seeking adoration and conquest is as legit as almost everything else the writers that get paid do, i mean, i wouldn´t have been surprised if IDW did that sometime.
5661503
If that happens, I'll sue them till they give Trixie her own miniseries.
didn´t she already get two pretty neat Comic appearances?
5662199
Neat indeed, but a miniseries? Now that's something. different.
HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF ODINS BEARD!!!!!! DO IT AGAIN!!!! MOAR REFFERENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!
nice and you still keep the humor part even though you're out of your territory
definitly nice
and nope trixie, headshots are useless tonight
aim for the leg
5662878
Dude, this is not level one in comparison to my other works. Fics like The Doom Patrol and The Show MUST Go On! have, at least two or three references per paragraph! (shameless self promotion is shameless)
Case in point: Show MUST Go On: Shout-Outs
5663062
I don't think that the leg is a lethal point.
Glad you liked it.
5663122 that's what i thought when i played the new call of duty
but when you headshot two guys by shooting in their legs well.......you start to Wonder about how our world works
5663128
Too bad that Trixie only put a single round in the Machina.
5663133 that's how she learned to always carry an extra one
5663144
That's good for future!Trixie, but present!Trixie is out of bullets in front of nazi!Iron Man.
I like the way you named your last link.
5664980
Thanks.
I like it. Being a sniper myself in videogames (NOT CoD! *shudders* Trickshotters...), I can sort of relate. Quite well done on the mercenary end as well.
5668100
What can I say? Years of comic books and hours of Team Fortress 2, teaming-up for this story. Glad you liked it and thanks for the comment
Awesome job my friend!
5675804
Glad you think so. Let's hope that it's good enough for the Harmonists
Im sorry the editor in me instantly caught this I believe you meant add
This story has some serious potential but you need to find an editor. Im not trying to sound like a dick when I say that but I caught several mistakes. Other than that keep up the good work.
5677146
Funny, considering that another person actually praised that I didn't screwed the grammar up. I suppose it is because the other guy knows my previous work (there's no grammar there).
Well, at least the narrative seem to be good enough, glad you liked it and thanks for reading.
5677265 I am a huge grammar Nazi so I can always spot grammar mistakes.
5677374
Oh, please, do it. This goes for a contest, so any improvement is well received.
5678081 mkay
Not too bad a beginning. A small suggestion for part of it:
"In the shower!" she called out from the bathroom. How considerate of her, I reflect. That'll make cleaning up all the blood easier.I walk there
5682499
Can I use it?
5682717
Of course, by all means. Why I put it out there.
The rest of the story was good and the attitude of the character and how her voice came through made me give it a Like. The GSP is... poor, is all I'll say, especially as a post-edited story. There's misspellings throughout, there's a lot of missing words. In the last chapter, you have "shot" when you mean "shoot" several times; that's just one example. Just a lot of stuff that a line-by-line read should have been able to clean up, in all honesty.
Still, nice potential. I like the world, I liked the characters and their interactions. As the one line I suggested indicates, I feel the story would be stronger if you kept playing up the dark/snarky humor of it all. The voice is good and you keep things flowing well, you just need to work on the technical. Best of luck with that in the future!
5683431
Well, that was the politest way I've been told that my grammar sucks. Seriously, I'm not kidding here.
Yeah, I borrowed the 'humor' from Gail Simone's Secret Six (a comic featuring Deadshot among other similar characters), I wanted that tone for the most part. But, to rive home the point of how serious of a treat is Panzer, I had to tone down the snark around him between the end of #1 and the beginning of #2. I think it gives more power to the confrontation if the antagonist's presence affects the story, even in a more subtle way.
Anyway, thank you for reading and commenting. Your addition is now part of the canon and I appreciate it.
Ah, Mary Sues, such wonderful hatetargets you make. The opening reminded me of Self-Extractors, with a touch of Magical Girl Hunters.
All things considered, off to a good start. Trixie is pretty gritty, very Dark Age 90's hero. Just don't give her any pouches and you're good to go.
5683551
Easter egg? Dude, a little less subtlety and this would be the Easter Bunny riding with Jesus of Nazareth on a Cadillac in space (I just watched Heavy Metal, okay).
But in all seriousness (because fanfics are serious business) I wanted to be brutal, mostly because I had a nazi villain. That's the ultimate free pass for a fairly over the top Fatality, I couldn't let it pass. And the German come back comes from a real life occurrence, only that it was about English.
5685634
Oh ROB! Liefeld, he codified and destroyed the entire concept of 90's anti-hero with pouches, guns and a complete disregard towards human anatomy or euclidean geometry.
More than a hero, I envision Trixie in a more subjective POV (Steve Ditko would provably hate this), not 'dark' but definitely in the edge between good and evil. She isn't a 'kick the dog' villain, but she isn't a 'save the dog' hero either. Here's a dialogue that explains it better but I couldn't insert without stopping the narrative:
Sonata: If you were driving and you saw a little girl lying in the street, would you stop and help her?
Trixie: Well I wouldn't go out of my way to run her over at least.
Glad you liked it.
Your fic is starting to grow in likes. I am beginning to become afraid.
5691852
Pff, that's nothing. The real achievement here is that I made it into TheSorcerersApprentice's Hall Of Approval!!
Woo-hoo!
*truth
There shouldn't be a 'soon' there, either that or there should be an 'as' after it.
*gave
*guy
'It's a long story full of clichés.' Would work better.
*thought
I think it's supposed to just be 'shot', not sure though.
umm... What?
*times and *crowds.
While this is technically correct, 'we'll' would work better.
There should be an apostrophe before till, like this: 'till
*usual
There shouldn't be a 'the' in this sentence.
*shoot.
I need something, so I'm gonna do something else. Not that there's anything wrong with that sentance but it made me laugh.
Do you mean 'leave'?
for a roommate.
End up? Maybe?
*three heavily armed guys.
*The revolver.
* let out the breath.
*sign.
*seriously
*show.
Should be a comma after murder.
*that was where.
*Listened to.
Ok, this is one of the, if not my favorite, fics on this site. Keep going strong.
Ps. Deadshot is best DC character.
And once again, I manage to forget things I should know about english. Well, thank you very much for this (your name is now on the notes), seriously, if I can ever repay you this just let me know.
Right now, I'm not sure on how to continue, so I'll focus on other projects before making another arc.
P.S.: And now Will Smith is now part of that.
P.P.S.:
Neither, 'six shooter'.
Exactly.
As general principle, if it makes someone laughs, I keep it.
Not even the notes are safe.
5695995
*Tackles you to the ground then bashes your skull in with a brick*
I was going to say a pun about pizza...
*Puts on sunglasses*
but it was too cheesy.
Trixi the merc with the mouth
5699770
Fluent in German/Ibex. Thanks for reading.
Oh, Wave. It's like you're describing my everyday mindset.
5708904
Closeness to the reader, my friend, that's always a key-point for every work.
So is there gonna be a Black Manta fic in the future?
Or a sequel to this?
Or both?
I want more of this kinda stuff damn it!
5712040
I'll have to think carefully about it, since this fic development took a lot of time and effort. For now I'll give some resting time to the idea.
On a side note, I'm not too familiar with Aria and Adagio's characters, so a good first step would be some research. In the visage of you being, well, you, I'm feeling it would be pertinent to ask; what key traits does have Aria Blaze?
Fuck...Fuuuuck. I know this story. How the heck can I comepte against the writer of THIS?!
5740882
Uh-uh, I know that answer. Remembering that he's also the writer of this.
On a serious thought (and leaving the self deprecation aside), don't be like that. I was also checking out your body of work and I'm
scaredimpressed too. I loved Frozen tears... and Seeds can't fly is pretty damn awesome.