A few years ago, while on archeological dig, in Saddle Arabia, a young stallion named Maximilian Pegasus discover the ruins of an ancient civilization. As he ventured deep within the tombs of the lost pharaoh, he depictions of ponies battling each other with powerful monsters. After seeing many the depictions, he decide to creature a game in which modern day ponies could battle each other just as the ponies of old. He called the game “Duel Monsters.”
It wasn't long before he creation became popular among ponies. Soon, Maximilian spent countless bits into making a portal version of the Duel Arena, so the ponies could duel any and everywhere. He called his creation Duel Discs. Before long, it was decided to hold a tournament once year to determine who would earn the title of “King/Queen of Games”.
This year's tournament will be different as an ancient force lurks in the shadows that will threaten all of Equestria. What will happen when a young stallion named Star Driver and his friends discover that there's more at stake in this tournament than deciding who is the best duelists in Equestria?
While most of the Decks will contain actual Yu-Gi-Oh! cards from the original series, GX, and 5D's, Zexal, the majority of the OC's Deck will contain original cards I've created.
Many thanks to goldenrise365247 for being my co-author, Utopianking and the beat brony for being my proof-readers and my editor The Notebook 
Pretty good start and I love Yu-Gi-Oh! but this could do with an editor.
Oh well, it's time to d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!
Star is actually very much in trouble here...yes having two Command Knights gives both of them a 400 ATK boost, but its actually Marauding Captain that prevents Warrior-Type Monsters from being the target of attacks...i have both cards and i know how they work. think of it like this, no Captain would go into battle without backup, but its also his responsibility to make sure his troops come home after the battle. Command Knight is more like a Morale Officer, keeping the troops happy and hitting as hard as they can...those r my main issues with Stars deck so far...
Vinyl on the other claw has a Lvl 6 monster that she for some reason has to make three offering for...unless this was specified on the card and she just didnt say so, Lvl 5-6 Monsters require only one offering to Summon. with three offerings, i would have expected a Lvl 9-10 Monster, such as Ra, not a Lvl 6
story wise u have a fairly good concept going here, but like the last guy said, u could use a secondary editor to catch all the grammar and other mistakes that r riddled through out the tale, though i would personally shy away from mixing ur own card concepts with real cards. as it might lead to some heavy confusion later on...
Love yugioh and am planning to write my own pony/yugioh crossover.
One suggestion, shouldn't one of the tags be human because of anthro ponies?
Thanks for the critiques guys. It my first go and I guess I do need an editor
. If anypony wants offer their service I would appreciate it
2548572
you might be right.
2548420 thanks for the tip. But no those aren't Star's main cards. He real cards will be revealed later
. As for DJ-Bass Mast3r, she can only be summoned by sacrifing 3 bass tokens. 
I guess I should put card descpription with the custom cards, huh? My bad. 
Star is the main one that will have custom cards, only a select others will have custom cards, I know what you mean by confusion later.
Thank you for the constructive criticism though
2549483 never said those were his main cards, just that u had portrayed their effects incorrectly
I can't wait for the abridged version.
Rarity: IT'S A GIANT ROCK. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.
...
Nightmare Moon (to Luna): What about Pinkie? Her balloons are bigger than you are!
...
Sweetie Belle: Sister! Save me!
Rarity: Again?
...
Rainbow Dash: You're not just A freaky eagle girl, GIlda - you're the freaky eagle girl.
...
Celestia: Screw the rules! I have a translucent mane!
...
It's the Yu-Gi-Oh Drinking Game! Take a drink everytime someone mentions friendship!
(and I didn't even need to change that one)
~~~~~~ OKAY, Now talking abut the actual story ~~~~
Pick a tense. The first three sentences are tense ping-pong. The fifth and sixth sentences aren't even sentences.
You continue to mix present and past. Bleah.
2549817 haha!
Now I wish someone would make an abridge version. And thank you for the critique and need all the help I can get
Still looking for an editor?
I'd be happy to~
Ah intresting. Pegasus is serving someone else.
By the way if "Double Summon" isn't a real card then it should be. The catch might be that the second normal summoned monster can't attack on the first turn or change it's battle position.
2637582 "Double Summon" is a real yugioh card.
yugioh.tcgplayer.com/images/Cards/5093.jpg
I use it all the time.
Who would print a card as specific as "Waiting for the Bass Drop"? It exists only to support a combo on a single card. And then 'Let's Rave', appearing next chapter...
Unless these cards are representations of ancient egyptian spellcraft and were not really designed to be a game, this is several kinds of messed up. It's more specific than the upgrade to G'Kar which required him to have psi points.
Oh I love vinyls deck
Do you have a spare?
(Yes I know it's all fake)
Watch I predict Twi' will have a Feild spell card called 'Book Fort of the Enlightened'
And the effect be something along the lines of
For every spell aster monster on the Feild times the full amount of stars by 100 and add them to your lowest star monster have them attack directly.
After said affect all battle damage that should be taken from destroyed spellcasters turns to 0
And I can see pinkie to kin' a deck literally known as the doozy package because each card is accented by her continuos spell
Ballon party- All 'Party' group monsters gain 200 points times the amount of stars THEY have.
And her mane monster be Party cannons.
2689713
that field spell would be amazing! Would you mind if I borrow that for Twi's deck
? Anyways I have everyone's deck finalized(
it took me 2 days to structure 16 decks) for the most part everyone, (excluding Star Driver) used actual cards from yugioh. Thank you for the view. I wish Vinyl's deck was real too, but might see more of her deck in future chapters
2690507
Now what would the cutie mark crusaders decks be that would be fun to make no?
Oh well I'm just happy to see this done right but it has quite a bit of grammar errors
Not big ones just noticeable if you read as much as I do.
Oh and of course you can I sorta based it after 'The Sanctuary in the Sky'
Which reduces damage all battle damage to the controller of the destroyed fairy type monster to 0
2690651 the cmc are going to be in the story, but they won't be dueling. They're just there for support. I'm working on chapters three and four and hope to put them up asap
Ooh this is gonna be good. A battle between Spike and his crush.
Do I sense heartbreak?
I'm almost done editing chapter two.
Ill start on this one soon 2020. You need to be a bit more careful with what your doing here. But I got you covered i'll start editing it soon.
Oh and uh you need to fix the only bad habit I have found you guilty of.
Using both past and present tense.
2755789
thanks! 
you're awesome!
Will Gilda be using a Harpy deck?
2807611 Maaaaybe...
Oh no. You didn't. You didn't.... But you did. And it is amazing. Not only did you write a Yu-Gi-Oh Mlp crossover, but you made your own cards! Sure they're a little iffy, but only a little! But, are the cards human or anthro? Also, if someone got some fanart up for this concerning the cards, I would love you forever.
2823564
I'm glad you like it. They're will be both pony and human cards.
I'm not really good at pony fan art, but if you know anyone please let me know
Yay I got a mention in the author notes YAYA!
Ill be editing this now.
Oh and Im now editing.
(Damn you spellcheck)
Rarity's probably charging right into a trap.
Spoiler: Pinkie's deck is toon world.
2853743 I thought about going that route, but it seem too cliche
. Her deck is something more of a surprise.
2839557
Obviously
It's probably the card "Radiant Mirror force"
Activate only when your opponent has three or more face up ATK position monsters. Destroy all monsters on your opponents field.
Just a hunch.
2857548 Nope
. But that was a good guess though
2857561
Then I wait to see what you have in store for us. And for me to edit.
Interesting.
The hater and the party animal can't wait.
Ill be editing now.
I didn't need to edit this.
It had one minor minor mistake and unless you have my eyes for detail here. You can't even find it.
You fixed a lot of your bad habits I'm impressed.
Looks like Spike is the new Joey Wheeler. Is going to use any of the red eye black dragon cards?
Only nitpick, I believe Graceful Charity is banned from Tournament Play.
I think there's a list of banned, limited, and semi limited cards that you can find online. Might want to refer to it for future chapters to ensure everyone's playing by tournament rules.
As for the next duel I expect Gilda to have a Winged Beast deck (sort of like a Harpie Lady deck) and Pinkie Pie should have a deck consisting of mulitple strategies, or toons.
2870145 I know that 'Graceful Charity' is banned. But in this universe no cards are banned
.
2870235 Oh I see.
2868841
I have! Sweet!
2868883
The new Joey Wheeler. That's a good one. And yes he does have red-eyes card and they will make an apperanace later in the story.
2870145
I agree with Gilda's deck being winged beasts
But,
Don't be so quick to place Pinkies deck on toons and such.
If Brony4life2020 studied the cards that I gave him that are real by the way. Then Pinkie will end this all to quickly.
2870285 I also suggested mulitple strategies, or you know variety.
Gilda's not going to win.
This gonna be good.
2989244
You never know I do.
This gonna be good.
At this point I played this: