Friendship is a WIP

by MonolithiuM

You Avelut to Explain

Author's Note:

I say mean stuff about Jewish people. I don't mean it, obviously. Anon's just an asshole.

Dear Princess Suncheeks,

I think I'm gonna need a crash course in Equestrian mating rituals, because this Jew is trying to fuck me. I went to buy a fucking futon from this asshole and he charges me nine-thousand two-hundred and four bits for it. Now, I don't know about you, but that sounds like some Menorah-wearing, glass-crushing, "oy vey" bullshit. This would be like walking into a hospital, bleeding from the mangled flesh-sack where your nuts used to be, and saying, "doctor, I need help," but then the doctor would say, "sure, that'll be nine-hundred bits please".

SO WHY THE FUCK CAN THIS LONG-NOSED MOTHERFUCKER CHARGE NINE-THOUSAND TWO-HUNDRED AND FOUR BITS FOR A FUCKING FUTON? I'M TIRED OF CHILLING ON TWILIGHT'S COUCH. IT'S OLD, MUSTY, SHORT, AND SMELLS LIKE WIDE-OPEN NERD ASS. THIS MONEY-GRUBBING, SON OF A BITCH PONY JUST FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MOTHERFUCKER.

THIS WEEK HAS BEEN KINDA SHITTY, CELESTIA, SO I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT I'M GONNA GAS THIS GUY'S HOUSE.

STOP ME OR WHATEVER.

Peace,
Anonymous the Pissed-Off Motherfucking Nazi (temp)

Celestia's eyes widened, her wings unfurled, and she leapt through her window into the afternoon sky. Sighting Ponyville, she lit her horn and teleported into town. It was when she arrived that she realized she had no idea how to get to Filthy Rich's.

And yes, she knew what pony to expect, given Anon's rantings.

So, she began to look upon the ground from the skies, her eyes moving quickly and desperately. If Anon did what he was claiming, then not only would Equestria have a massive outcry for Anon's exile, but Anon's own social prejudices would become increasingly more violent. He is a man to hold a grudge, unfortunately.

By some stroke of luck, she managed to spot Anon stomping his way towards a home, a long metallic tube and a gas mask in his hands. His brow was knit in rage and his steps were angry and jerky. He lifted the cannister over his head and threw it through a window, then fastened the mask to his face before leaping inside.

Celestia let out a cry and dove down after him. The hiss of gas being released made Celestia's blood run cold. If what Anon had told her was true...

Zipping through the window and crashing through the pantry door, Celestia was horrified to see...

Anon spreading his ass cheeks wide and releasing his pent-up gaseous rage upon the bound and gagged (both meanings) earth pony. The pony's eyes were wide and his face green, and he thrashed wildly while Anon continued to push out the abominable stench. The gas mask snapped to Celestia, and Anon clapped his ass back together.

Anon stared Celestia dead in the face, never even breathing. Then, quick as lightning, he let loose a little poot and jumped out the whole window in Filthy's kitchen, doing a combat roll and taking off at a sprint down the street, bringing attention to his pantless self as his verdant butt waggled in front of Ponyville's market.

Comments

[Qaz223]

What the fuck anon

[Iron Washer]

Dear god.....

[zeldawolffang]

O______O well that just happened

[JohnIsOffline]

...What... the fuck...

[Hoarse Phuqer]

This chapter stinks.

Hue hue hue

[AnonymousZero]

That's one way of getting revenge

[Xzaves]

So majestic

[nothingtoseehere]

ANON DID NOTHING WRONG

[MonolithiuM]

6522449 s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/4b/50/b5/4b50b560967880a639fbc735ddd093a8.jpg

[WorldWalker128]

Not only did Anon fart in his general direction, but directly AT him!

[Marowak47]

...the hell did I just read?

[JennaShinx]

uh.... i.... uh....... wa....

[Cauchemar]

You know if he really wants to stop the sexual advances he really shouldn't be displaying his bare ass to the ponies on the streets.

[Kirbysnumber1]

I lol'd in class, people are staring

[MonolithiuM]

7038731 Let them stare. Perhaps they will soon realize they stare into the endless miasmic void that is your eternal furious soul, ready and willing to strike down your enemies and aid your friends in their ventures. Or you're weird.

In either case, your friends will stand beside you and your enemies will fear you.

Also, thanks man, that means a lot.

56.media.tumblr.com/484036a036643ea487392b2f14e1b0da/tumblr_nef3lhOiax1qd5mq1o1_500.jpg

[Kirbysnumber1]

7039531 No problem man

[Officer Hotpants]

I'M TIRED OF CHILLING ON TWILIGHT'S COUCH. IT'S OLD, MUSTY, SHORT, AND SMELLS LIKE WIDE-OPEN NERD ASS.

Maybe I'm just hopelessly perverted at this point but that seems like a tally in the "plus" column to me...

[Solo Wing of The Abyss]

6519003
The most beautiful thing you have ever witnessed

6518931
Anon did nothing wrong.......

[Anon ymous]

6518891 Even in death, you will not know grammar, scott.

[MonolithiuM]

7470625 Oh shit, brb.

[Cascades]

I laughed so hard I choked

[MonolithiuM]

7815896 Danke.

[Exaxxion]

This story like this chapter is a literal shit storm, please sir do continue

[Acadians6545]

7470625
Nah...just suicidal.

[Dunkle Dank]

8743027
Apparently the anime: Angel beats.

[Average_NZ_Bronie]

8695643
I couldn’t agree more